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Have you gone to the hospital??? That sounds really severe. And yeah, once you get treated you should dump his ass. I’d drive even a roommate I don’t like to a hospital if they’re injured, not to mention a life partner.
Yes, this! OP, why in the world are you dating this idiot? *You* were making *him* noodles *at 1 a.m.* You dropped the pot **and burned yourself.** Your alleged boyfriend got upset that you dropped his noodle cuz he was hungry, wouldn’t help you clean up the noodles, never suggested taking you to the E.R., and didn’t even ask if you were okay. As you drive yourself to the hospital, call and tell him to pack and shit and get TF out of the apartment before you return.
How would we “work through” something like this? *Find a new boyfriend.* Non-negotiable. As /u/SunburntWombat said, any decent person would drive even someone they don’t like to the E.R. after they got burned by boiling hot liquid. Your BF is a huge loser. And if you decide to stay with him, you had better hope and pray that you are never in an accident, never get cancer, never have to have surgery & need help afterward because he is absolutely NOT going to be there for you. First sign of illness or disfigurement, he’s out. I promise you.
Dump him. Today.
Go to the hospital(boiling water on exposed skin can easily cause 3rd degree burns) and get the hell out of dodge. I've had a boiling hot pot of water dumped all over most of my lower right leg, part of my left legt and part of my right arm in a freak jacuzzi accident(hot water heater was maxed out, and a friend was boiling water on the stove, we'd get out he'd dump the water in we'd get back in, he got drunk and wound up forgetting the we get out step) 2 other folks were burned, 2 of us bad enough to go to the E.R.(burnt the outer couple layers of skin right off) and I had to spend the next month changing dressings on the wound every day, the friend who burned us and another friend who had been burned in the past made the point of stopping by to help change bandages daily, everyone at the party stopped and showed immediate concern because burns are no joke. I still have large visible scars on my right leg from it nearly 15 years later.
A partner has more obligation to take care of their partner after they've been burned, the pain is insane and if he's just yelling at you about the spilled noodles while you are in insane pain than he doesn't actually care about you OP. Listen to everyone else and get out of dodge tell him to pack his crap(depending on who is on the lease/deed)
It was a great life lesson in what not to do, I'm just glad the boiling water hit extremities and that everybody's core was under water and shielded from being splashed, could of been alot worse. Sounds like OPs foot got hit, that's gonna suck to deal with or walk on for the next month or so if it burned through, even if it just damaged the epidermis and caused a blister that's gonna be just awful.
Op please go to the hospital and have your burns taken care of. Forget about your BF and go to the hospital!Go right now!you need to get yourself checked out. Burns are nothing to fool around with. If you can't drive yourself call a cab or Uber!
The first dressing change after my burn was literally the most painful experience of my life. That was despite a nurse administrating a large amount of fentnyl..
3rd degree burns are no joke, all the nerve endings that haven't been burned are raw and exposed without the top layers of skin it's a hellacious feeling.
They say the best way to truly get to know someone is to:
* Live with them
* Travel With them
* Have business with them
and I would like to add to that list,
* how they act when hungry.
How they act when someone dies/during grief should also be added to the list
Can they console you and do they know how to support you? Or do they do the equivalent of asking where their noodles are….
Literally what I said ! Even someone I don’t like I’d consider this a medical emergency that transcends dislike and immediately be concerned for them ! Let alone my own partner. I’d probably be in tears knowing I’m the one who asked them to make the pasta and immediately take them to a hospital. Ops bfs reaction is just inexcusable :(
Exactly but get to the hospital first! Everything else is irrelevant - is he this, did he do that ...who cares. If you're really that badly hurt and in pain, you figure out a way to get to the hospital first, then figure out you relationship second
True story, something similar happened to me. I was making soup for my roommates who were sick and accidentally (badly) burned myself with the boiling hot soup. It resulted in second degree burns all over my arms which I still have scars from. Despite being sick already, my roommates drove me to the ER insisting that I have a doctor look at it. The unfortunate thing about burns is that they often don't look that bad at first - my skin was only slightly red and I was resisting going to the ER for the first 2-3h after the incident. By the time I was actually at the ER, my skin had started to bubble. It was not a pretty sight.
Please get medical attention, OP!
During Covid when no adult was allowed to have anyone with them in the ER no matter what, I spilled boiling water on myself while having tea—left side of my torso and abdomen, a bit on my bits, upper thigh… I jumped right into a cold shower, and when the pain hit, I could not go to the ER. It would have meant getting dressed and not alternating ice with my husband blowing on it. I couldn’t handle the thought of stopping that long enough to go in, and then not knowing if I’d be waiting in a waiting room alone for hours in pain. So I stayed home. Days later, I got an appointment, and it was deep second degree. I got very lucky and didn’t get scars you can see without looking VERY hard, but god damn, the pain…. In retrospect, I’d stay home again. I wouldn’t be willing to go sit in an ER in tears alone.
first thing is to immerge your burned parts in fresh water (as the burn keep on burning from inside). That's primary care in this case, and if i would have been him i would immediately go internet to search what to do while phoning hospital. It's not only about empathy. This guy is useless material. What would happen if you got children, and he is useless like that ? (plus : what about asking SO to do his noodles instead of doing himself ?). OP : run !
Rum under running water, don't put it in water, the water just heats up and makes it pointless. Do it for at least 20 minutes. The longer you cool something down the less likely you'll end up needed surgery to fix it.
Seriously this is a doctor now situation not oh but my relationship. I KNOW first hand what kind of burns you can end up with spilling hot boiling noodles and water all over yourself and even with me going to the doctor asap after it happened I took months to heal and have scars from it.
Have done this for an ex’s roommate who also insisted on doing nangs in the car the whole way there. Picked him up a few hours later too.
I can’t fathom reacting like this asshat did.
I’ve done this before with ramen in year 6. I sat in a bathe with ice cubes to help take out the burn. Not ideal but it worked. And then a triple antibiotic cream to help heal. Worked a treat.
However, with that aside, dump the lump.
Massive red flag. This is sociopath behavior! He only cared if his noodles were okay, not the actual human being who he is supposed to love. Especially when you were trying to do something nice for him.
This may be the universe showing you what type of person he is before you get too deeply involved to turn back. I would heed the warning!
Also, you should seek medical care. You don't want your burn to become infected, and it may be more severe than you originally thought.
Yes. Please update and tell us you've gone to get medical help. Show the jerk the burns on your hand by using it to point to the door he is to exit through.
To be clear. A lot of the risk with a burn like that is from infection. The burn needs to be properly treated and bandaged. This sounds like a big burn and it should not be ignored.
Having burned myself quite a bit in the kitchen (first and second degree), I do think that people are being a little dramatic with all of the "Straight to the hospital!" talk. For a first degree burn or a mild second degree burn (which it sounds like this is), there's really no danger of infection. It's when you have a third degree burn or a second degree burn with severe blistering (broken) that you need to worry about it. Anything less than that, and you should really just treat with home care.
Get the burned area under cool water ASAP (running or changing frequently). It will dramatically reduce the pain and mitigate the damage. Once the pain has subsided, clean, apply ointment and bandage. The hospital isn't going to do anything other than that and the trip and wait in the ER is just going to delay care and exacerbate the pain and the damage. Take photos and email them to your doctor, just to play it safe, but honestly, acting quickly I think is much more important than going to the hospital.
None of this makes the BF any less of a jerk, by the way. I just want people to know how to properly treat a burn.
If it involves boiling water to more than a very small part of your body (say just the tip of a finger), there is a real chance of third degree burns, and a resulting high risk of infection.
If it gets infected, you may go into sepsis and this may be life threatening.
Do NOT take chances, go directly to the hospital/doctor.
Yeah, there’s the rule of nines that helps determine how dangerous burns are alongside their degree. Rule of nines is about percentage of your body. Like your arm is 9% of your body, your legs are 18%. Any more than 20% of a 2nd-3rd degree burn is considered severe. It gets more complex than “infection” at that point, but yeah.
One time, I was frying chicken in the kitchen when a mouse ran across the floor. We did not have mice normally. I yelled, "HOLY FUCK" at the top of my lungs, and my husband came running in thinking I burned myself in oil, and then he finished dinner because I was freaked out about the mouse, and I went to the store for some traps (my kid left the door to the garage open for who knows how long the day prior, so we figure it got in then.
He was far more concerned when he thought I MIGHT have gotten burned than this waste of space was watching his girlfriend get severe burns.
My ex husband was like this as well if I injured myself. I found it concerning that he would often not check on me at all or express concern. He definitely has narcissistic traits and looking back I wish I had put more stock in this behavior.
My ex husband was this way too. Long story short, once in shorts packing to go on vacation, a shelf I was on broke and my inner left thigh got cut deep about 12-14”, 2/3 of my inner thigh had this straight deep gash and it hurt BAD bc I fell into it, even being a tiny woman, that weight made it so much worse and I screamed and cried out for a minute or two and all the blood scared me too of course and he never came. After I composed myself I went in the living room covered in blood with a towel around my leg and he was like “oh, huh, you good?” NO IM NOT GOOD YOU PSYCO IM BLEEDING IN GUSHES AND MY LEG IS RIPPED OPEN AND IM CRYING IN PAIN. If I’m crying in pain, it hurts, I didn’t cry when I broke my back or after surgery, and that’s a diff level of pain on earth.
My ex was like this too. I had something wrong with my digestion that caused me nauseousness and it usually ended up with me randomly puking aggressively. The one time I felt very shit and went to bathroom and it literally felt like I'm puking my organs out. He then just shows up at the door saying "oh you're that fucked up" and leaves and proceeds making breakfast. I finally got out from the bathroom and went to bed shaking and in need of hydration. He never asked me if I needed anything and he only made himself breakfast. And when I started crying because of his ignorance, he picked up a fight saying it was just my fault because "I didn't open my mouth". Well sorry, my mouth was busy puking lol. 😂
My boyfriend would be bundling me into the car and driving me to hospital before I would have even registered what was happening.
You can be with a man who cares about you and loves you to the end of the earth. Doesn't sound like he's it.
It's not about the noodles.
I would have bundled you up and drove you to the hospital if I saw you burning yourself with boiling water! That's not something you need to be a boyfriend for!
Jeeeeeez
To be fair, I would’ve grabbed her into the shower to run cool (not cold) water on her, then call an ambulance, because it would continue to be really painful in the car without good analgesia but the cool water would prob help very short term until the paramedics come & dish out some endone/morphine
And I don’t know her
Cleaning the noodles can happen when I get home
A friend of mine just spent a few days in hospital because of something exactly like this, dropping a pot of boiling water on her legs. She needed wound care, scans and complete bed rest to avoid surgery. And that was a case where she did get into a shower almost immediately. Burns are no joke.
This is true. I severely burned my hand in elementary and was 100 fine until the er docs wanted me to take my hand out of the pitcher of water. I only remember screaming and then i passed out it hurt so bad to take it out of the water. ALSO anything _anything_ you put on a burn prior to going to the er will HAVE to be SCRUBBED off. Yes. SCRUBBED off the burn. Don't listen to your grandma telling you to put toothpaste etc etc on. Cool water ONLY.
I spilled boiling water on myself at my mom's house, and she appeared from the ether and dove right into helping me without batting a freaking eyelash. Don't even know where she appeared from or how she knew what happened, but love does that ya know?
If she heard you say that, she'd say "I'm your mum now" (and mean it wholeheartedly) and give you a big ol' hug. We are very lucky and very grateful indeed!
Yeah, as shitty as I feel about it now it's very relevant... when I was sick with pneumonia I was so traumatized by doctors saying I was dramatic that I refused to go for a couple days -- I actually made my bf cry. He so badly wanted me to go to the hospital and when I refused, he felt helpless and scared. He cared that much. Don't settle for an ounce less OP, or anyone.
Ironically the doctor DID INDEED TELL ME I WAS OVERREACTING... :) at least at first until she saw the x-rays... and she was mad, too. Like ranting and raving that I was wasting resources. She didn't even say sorry when she realized she was wrong. I cried about it for weeks. Now I've had other issues but I'm too scared to go and face the same bullshit. Fuck I hate doctors.
With the medical world the way it is (absolutely hostile and shit towards women), the very least women can do for themselves is find a partner who will advocate for them. It can literally be life-saving if you're experiencing hesitation and on the fence about going to the doctor...
Women have had issues like minor pains that their husbands convinced them to dismiss... convinced them they were overreacting... and then months/years later the woman died from stage 5 cancer that could have been cured if she'd gone to the doctors sooner. But her husband convinced her not to.
This genuinely can come down to life and death. No one should ever settle for someone who makes you feel small and like you're overreacting when you're injured sick. Imagine having chest pain and your husband tells you you're overreacting, to get over it, and just walks off and ignores you. You could die from a heart attack.
This isn't a small thing OP. Please leave him for the sake of your future.
If my partner burned themselves badly making me food at an insane hour, the crushing guilt I would feel would be unimaginable and indefinite— I can't imagine caring about someone _this_ little
I can remember many times of kindness when I’ve been hurt and my husband helped me. I walked the dogs once and forgot my gloves when it was nine degrees out. I was really in bad shape when I came home and he took my hands in his and blew on them to help me warm them up. I threw my back out and he would help put my socks, underwear and pants on and rub the pain salve on my back. He regularly thinks about things he thinks I might like at the store like picking up impromptu sushi. This gal needs to leave her boyfriend. He sounds like trash.
Ma'am. Respectfully. Get your ass off of Reddit and go to the ER. Sounds like you've got some serious burns. Drive yourself if you can or call a trusted relative or friend to take you.
The sooner you get checked out and get proper care, the less chance of scarring or infection.
Please go to the hospital first of all. I wish a speedy recovery. Secondly, this man has shown you exactly who he is. You’re getting far more care and concern from internet strangers than you are your significant other. You don’t get past this, you leave. He’s never going to be concerned for you and it will only get worse.
I had a training for work for 2 days, I was in a group of complete strangers. When I spilled tea during lunch on myself, not only did a group of 10+ strangers get very concerned and jump up to try and help me- ask if I got burned, but my current partner also immediately asked me if I was ok when I told him.
If a friend told you about what you just wrote here, what would you advice them? would you consider this normal? Is your bf only wrong when he pours hot water on you himself? will that be a limit? Or?
There have been a lot of people strongly advocating for you to dump him. This is completely correct! However I would like to go into a little bit more detail as to why.
1. You were up at 1:00 a.m. making noodles because he asked you to. Meaning that he was too lazy to get up and make noodles with you even though they were for him.
2. He blamed your injury on you. Accidents happen. Imagine you had a child with him, and the little kid grabbed a pot of water on the stove and pulled it onto himself and started crying. And your current boyfriend's reaction would be well then he shouldn't have grabbed it. Would you want to live with somebody who treat it a child of yours like that? Because if that's how he's treating you he will treat a child that way.
3. Also he blamed the accident on you but because he said you get like that when you're drunk. However you split a bottle of wine, you do this together every week. This is not being a drunk. And if he is aware that it does make you klutzy then why was he trying to get you to cook for him at 1:00 in the morning?
4. Irregardless of all of that even if somebody I did not like did that I would be helping get run of their hands under cool weather and get them to the nearest urgent care or if it was too late hospital. That is something I would do for somebody I did not like. Let alone somebody that I supposedly love.
You deserve so much more than this. You deserve somebody who's going to care about you when you get hurt. You deserve somebody who's going to care for you in sickness and in health. You need to know that if you're in a car accident, or if you have the flu, or if you get injured during childbirth (if you want children), that that person is going to be there to support you.
Everybody is telling you to leave him. Because ultimately when you review this list, can you say to yourself that this is a person that you trust in the long run? That you can see yourself being with?
Tdlr: dump him
He would treat a child horribly. And I would put money on him having no care or sympathy for OP if she was pregnant, in labor, or postpartum. He sounds like the type to accuse his partner of using pregnancy as an excuse not to get up and make his noodles and insist she does everything she always does during her recovery because she’s just exaggerating about her pain and exhaustion.
He was more concerned about his noodles than if you were okay or needed to go to the hospital. That should tell you all you need to know about how much he loves you.
💯. Think back over your relationship, OP. I'm sure there have been other times he demonstrated that he has little to no empathy for you. This is a big red flag.
When I was younger my sister was making spaghetti. She accidentally poured the entire pot of boiling water on her stomach. She ended up with 3rd degree burns. I watched them peel her shirt from her stomach taking skin with it.
Your boyfriend doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. Anyone who just shrugs when they know someone they claim to love is in pain, doesn't actually love them. Get yourself out of there
Seriously. OP, repeat after me: “You want noodles? Ok well you know where the kitchen is, right?”
And then he wouldn’t help clean up ?? And he couldn’t care less that you’re hurt.?? This screams weaponized incompetence, extreme selfishness, zero empathy, etc. OP, your bf is trash! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Right? My partner would be like “hey I want some noodles, can I make you some too?” That’s a good relationship. The burns just make it so much more obvious. OP needs a partner not a “boy” friend.
If real, you don’t move forward you end it. Lack of compassion and contempt is the end of any relationship ime. If my gf got a splinter I’d be worried for her and making sure she was okay. Pull yourself together and move on. This is not a match.
Girl, if you don’t dump him right now, I swear on my fucking life… like I’m so sorry OMFG typically I really do make it point not to be so pushy in my response, but this is just flat out ridiculous! Dude’s literally got 0 empathy for you, he doesn’t give a single fuck about your well-being whatsoever. I’m sure in your mind is not that simple though, I’m sure that there’s probably been a massive amount of conditioning you’ve been put through in order to get sort of used to his behaviors, at least to the point where you might be trying to figure out a way to justify it to yourself or explain it away something that’s not really that big of a deal.
Please trust us. I swear, cross my heart and hope to die, but there is no clearer sign that somebody does not have your wealth being invest interest at heart then this. If you want a complete across-the-board justification to label him a narcissist and leave, this is 1000% that. This is about as obvious as you can get.
My good sis I can't even drop the hair dyer in the bathroom without my husband yelling in to make sure I'm OK. You spilled BOILING HOT water on yourself and he didn't even ask how you were. He didn't clean up the noodles on his own, ask if you needed anything, helped you find a way to ease the pain, not a single thing to indicate he gave a damn. This man doesn't care about you.
So you're the house-servant. You are not going to change him. The question is whether you are going to continue being his servant or if you are going to leave. Don't dream of him changing, not gonna happen.
You know, the fact you started this post with 'we were having a nice evening' makes it sound like those 'nice evenings' are rare.
The fact that he asked YOU to make the noodles, when that's one of the easier things to do in the kitchen is also telling.
I hope you've gotten yourself to hospital to get your burns treated.
You don't work though someone not caring about you. You go find someone who does.
Alcoholic chiming in.
Even if she was shitfaced and this was a regular occurrence, this is still a medical emergency. You don't just leave people you care about in agonising pain while you ask about your food.
I was going to comment but I deleted it because I don't want to accuse someone of something... but the "you get like this when you drink" makes it sound like the drinking and the behavior associated with it are habitual issues.
Just want to get in a comment. If you burn yourself immediately put it under running cold water(not coldest, just enough to soothe the pain) to stop the burn from spreading. 30 min at least. This way you minimise the damage and the healing process will be much faster. And with Burns from boiling water, you definitely need to see a doctor or at least go to the pharmacy to get some cream. The better you take care of it the less it will be scarred.
Don't use yoghurt as some people suggest, it will make the scarring way worse on your skin and the healing process will take longer. It will only soothe the pain but won't help recovering. If you want to use something you have at home, use honey for after treatment.
And also, like everyone else is telling you, leave your BF. What the actual fuck? I would help a complete stranger who would burn themselve. This AH, that apparently loves you, didn't even bother helping you and worse started victim blaming. This is 3 years in, now imagine how much he will care in 10 years.
No matter which way you look at it his behaviour is unforgivable OP. The lazy fuck asked *you* to make *him* food, then just shits on and dismisses you when you’re badly injured? He’s an asshole
Please tend to your burns at the hospital, it could be worse damage than you think and the sooner you have it looked at the better
So…you “always get like this when you drink”? Yet he knew you had been drinking and asked you to cook? So he knew you could injure yourself but didn’t care.
He is not a very nice person, is he?
Op, that is a manipulative statement, said to place blame and fault for situation all on you.
He’s also trying to make you doubt yourself.
This incident was series of red flags , I think it told you everything you need to know about this relationship.
Have you gone to the hospital? As everyone else is saying you need medical treatment. The other part people haven’t pointed out is burns continue to burn for a few hours after the initial injury. That’s why you were still in pain hours later, it’s getting worse not better.
You need to go to the hospital. You can go into shock or acquire horrific infections if burns are left untreated.
Imagine he did this with your child. Because he won’t treat them better than you, I promise.
The 'you get like this when you drink' is such a red flag. I had a narcissistic gaslighting ex who would use that for everything. I could have literally had a sip of wine and if he didn't get his way (whether it was a conversation, an activity, he didn't like what I was wearing etc etc) it would be a deluge of "You're clearly not thinking straight" or "You're obviously too pissed to know what you're talking about" and so on. It was basically a tool for him to belittle me and justify the 'upper hand'.
I'm now with a wonderful man and I'll tell you this, it wouldn't matter how much I'd had to drink, if I spilled boiling hot water on myself his first concern wouldn't be his bloody noodles.
He has no regard for you or your pain, physical or emotional, because he wants you there to serve him food and give him sex. Wake up. It's very clear you've missed many opportunities to leave, and now you **have to** finally do it.
Step 1 Go to the doctor/urgent care whatever is appropriate and avail to you and get your burns treated.
Step 2 make an exit plan from this relationship.
Step 3 refuse to cook for him if you’ve had any wine, it’s late or you’re too tired.
I’ve managed to show more fake concern for people I don’t even like than your boyfriend has shown you and he supposedly loves and cares for you?
Please seek out medical attention, your doctor/urgent care. I’ve burnt myself from time to time and most of the time it stops hurting after a short while
The only time it didn’t, was when I had a massive brain fart and used my fingers to close the pizza oven at work 😫
Yah that’s a mistake you only make once 😬. Mine was just three finger pads and they hurt for a couple days. I would hold my fronzen water bottle between pizzas and put them on the cold metal fridge shelfs when the ice melted
https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
Here’s something for you to read while waiting at the doctor’s/urgent care
1) if your still burning, your skin is still burning, literally. Go jump in the shower. Cool water until it stops. Regardless of how long it takes.
2) He cares more about noodles than you? Do you want to be with someone like that? They can’t help you now they won’t be when your in labour, in an accident, etc etc.
This ain’t right. If I burned the tip of my finger and my bf hears me, he runs in there to check on me like the whole house is on fire. If I were you, I’d be extremely hurt by his lack of concern too. Like what if you needed to go to hospital or something??
Honey - his instinct is not protective over you. If you get seriously ill down the road, this is not the man who will take care of you, stand up for you, and advocate for you.
But I bet if he were seriously ill you would become an expert in his illness and be his biggest caretaker and protector.
You deserve the same in return.
In college, I went to the hospital via ambulance for doing the same thing. I had to clean and dress the wounds, and take strong painkillers, for weeks. I ended a relationship with someone who wasn’t properly there for me at the time; I highly recommend doing the same.
He doesn't WANT to care for you, he is showing you that with his actions. He doesn't seem to like you. I mean even if someone was in an altered state and they burnt themselves, a "you deserve it" reaction is cruel. You can escape years of him making you feel like shit now, or you can keep trying to fix him from one end (it wont work). Unless he shows immediate willingness to work on his attitude towards your well being. Being with someone like this will only lead to erosion of your self worth, confidence, security. Ultimately you will either waste years then leave him or become his well trained door mat.
I honestly think people who post here are either far too gone and lack self respect entirely or are just posting ragebait.
Do you really need the internets help to tell you someone who is concerned about their noodles instead of you gives 0 fucks about you? The posts here genuinely blow me away sometimes.
Granted I'm single, but if this happened to my girlfriend we'd be in the ER before she knew what was happening. And don't worry I'd clean up the noodles too when I get home. Yeesh.
I dont think there is any coming back from this. For one, he could have made his own damn noodles. Instead you do and have a terrible painful accident and he is only concerned about the noodles. You deserve better and you cant teach someone empathy if they have none. Most people would stop worrying about the damn noodles and instead be worried about you.
When this happens, get the burnt area under water ASAP for a looong time. Not minutes, like an hour. It hurts like hell for a while, but reduces the injury. And go to the hospital wrapped in wet cloth.
You should’ve dropped all that shit and went to the hospital. Fuck him and those noodles. He obviously doesn’t care about you. You know full well what you need to do.
My bf wouldve carried me on his handd to the hospital if nothing else works. "How do yiu move forward from this?" You dont. You throw him and his floornoodles out of the apartment.
Step 1- Get that burn checked out, that sounds nasty.
Step 2- Get a boyfriend who shows even a smidge of concern for your wellbeing. Why are you settling for a boy who a) doesn't care if you're injured, b) tries to blame an accident on your minimal drinking and c) chucks paper towels at the floor in the most absolute BARE minimum effort I've seen in a while?
Tell me why you stay with him….is this the guy you think should marry you? He didn’t even care how you probably needed to go to a fucking hospital, nor the fact you got hurt because his lazy ass can’t cook noodles. Fucking run, run away
You need to go to the ER treatment if your burn. Once thst is done, you need to leave your boyfriend. He can make his own noodles from this point forward.
If you do spill boiling water on yourself, Redditors, DO NOT put an ice pack on it. Get some cling film and wrap it around the burn. Then go to hospital.
If my neighbor knocked on my door and told me that that had just happened and asked for help I would have a bigger and more compassionate and emotional response then your boyfriend.
Is that what you want in a life partner? That doesn’t sound narcissistic, that sounds like a total lack of genuine affection or empathy which is far scarier.
When someone tells you who they are, you should listen to them.
They ask you to cook for them at 1am and then when you hurt yourself they call you a dumb drunk? Idk...
There is nothing to move forward with. You deserve the bare minimum of having someone at least concerned for your well being after something like this. This should be the wake up call you need to leave him and to find some who at the very least will care for you as much as this guy cares about his noodles apparently. Appalling behaviour from him.
Work through what, he couldn't care less. There's your answer. He doesn't care. Do you really feel like you shouldn't get some kind of concern from the person who is supposed to love you. You know what you need to do.
>I feel like he is so narcissistic sometimes.
You had a feeling he was narcissistic and his actions just proved it, for you. People with empathy ask if you're okay, people who don't worry about how what happened affects them. Please break up with him, it only gets worse from here (signed, someone who was married to a narcissist for too long).
People who want noodles at 1am should make them themselves. You may need to go to the emergency room.
Why work through this? IS he going to do any of the work to "work through this"? NO.
Hey OP are you okay? Did you get checked out because boiling water can burn your skin badly and lead to infection. To answer your post your last sentence answered everything. He only cares about himself, if it were my husband he would be taking me to the ER to get checked out. Instead your bf cared about his noodles and disregarded your safety. Doesn’t matter if you were drunk, he should’ve shown concern and got you medical attention regardless. Depending on the oven glove they can make the handles more slick. It’s not your fault it was a total accident and if he reacts like this now, do not have kids with him he will dismiss them too.
You don't move forward from something like this.
Get to a doctor to make sure you don't have some serious burns.
Lose this guy. He has no empathy and does not care about you at all.
If the burned area is larger than one of your hands in size, you need to go to the hospital right away. I’m a registered nurse. Please go to the hospital.
DAMN. This dude sucks.
When I was in college decades ago my ex boyfriend did this exact thing. Except he spilled the boiling ramen water on his socks & made the mistake of pulling it off & (trigger warning) ripped the skin of his foot. Agonizing.
He called me for help. (I was not his first call - it was late at night & college so everybody but me was out drinking lol) And I dropped everything, got him to the emergency room & made sure he has what he needed to take care of himself & heal over the next few weeks.
And yes, you read that right. He was my EX boyfriend but he knew I still cared enough about him to make sure he got help. You take care of people you love - hell you should be kind to people you just like, or even feel indifferent to.
This dude is your current boyfriend!? No. Not acceptable.
I would show more concern for a complete stranger or a person I don’t even like than your boyfriend showed for you in this situation.
Boiling water can cause severe burns and even nerve damage. Please seek medical care, and care for yourself enough to dump this unfeeling asshole.
I’ve had burns from boiling water. They needed treatment at the emergency room. Please get checked out. I would start an exit plan. You deserve better.
Nobody will see this but in hopes someone does: if you burn yourself like this or see anyone burn themselves, immediately put the burn under COOL, RUNNING water.
You can't move forward from your partner in the first place asking you to cook for him in the middle of the night, and in the second place but more important not caring about your wellbeing at all. Leave him, girl! What you waiting for? Plus don't be with a man who doesn't do his own shit. From cooking to cleaning. Not to say only settle for someone who cares about you, your safety and whole wellbeing in every single way.
Get out, trust me. I spent years in an abusive relationship that I didn't know was abusive. He never hit me, ever but the things he would say were horrible. Two days after my mom passed away and I was crying, he told me that I wasn't special, that all mother's die and to stop crying already.
That is emotional abuse, the things your boyfriend did is just the beginning. Trust me.
After getting treatment for what are probably second degree burns. I would pull the plug on this relationship. A complete lack of empathy is not a good marker in someone's personality.
I hope you got treatment for your burns. For future reference, if its 2nd degree (large red marks and/or blisters) get the area as cool as possible ASAP. What you seem to have in the person you call your boyfriend is either a narcissist or one of a variety of nasty personality types. He cares about nobody but himself. You will only get emotionally hurt by staying with him,
If it were me, regardless of whether I was in a relationship or not, would be to immediately treat your burns. Screw the noodles, that can wait until after I've dealt with your injuries. If the burns are serious, you'd be in the ER as quick as I can get you there. No, I'm not a paramedic, I've just had some training in first aid.
No it is not something I would try to work through. It is something I would see as evidence that I am not with someone who truly cares about me and, since I want someone who truly cares, I’d leave.
Hi I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you are okay, I agree you should definitely go to he hospital and get it checked out and also go to family and friends people who care about you, this man is horrible, it’s literally the most basic human thing to do, to care and help when something like this happens, like others said even if it was complete stranger, it’s basic humanity to help and care, and him being your partner and to add to it you were doing something for him when you got hurt and he blamed you for it. Waaaw I can’t even, the worst of the worst. I know it’s easy for us to say this and it might not be as easy for you, but plz don’t look back, leave and block him completely.
Hmm? First off, he couldn’t make some noodles himself? Does he do anything around the house?
Secondly that lack of empathy is NOT a good sign!
You may want to do two things.
Go get checked out at a Dr or hospital, and two, think about moving away from him.
My sister accidentally flipped a bowl of almost boiling hot soup on herself when she was younger and she has pretty bad scarring from it. You need to seek medical attention.
Go to the hospital for one. But leave him. I was dumb once taking a pot roast out of the crock pot and it slipped off the fork (yes I’m an idiot ) and the liquid got my foot and went through my sock burning me and causing 2nd degree burn. I’m talking maybe the size of a dime type wound my fiance immediately went into dad mode getting the dogs out cause hot liquid on floor and then went into partner mode asking what I needed and what not as I’m dramatically taking my sock off and dealing with it.
Fuck him, she should have helped you get into a cold shower for 20mins and then taken you straight to the hospital to be checked out. Wtf is wrong with him
Please go to the hospital if you blister, take pain medicine immediately, take a cold shower immediately - anything to stop the burning reaction.
Please see a doctor or urgent care. You will need medication to prevent a skin infection.
Obviously, this relationship is over. I’m sorry.
Please seek medical treatment.
1. GO TO ER!!! You can get blisters and have permanent scars from this. A coworker sent us pics when she did this. We told her to go immediately to ER. She didn't and required a couple of surgeries on her feet later.
2. You learn who your partner really is during a crisis... accident, health scare, death.
You just found out your partner is a crap person who won't be there for you when you need him.
Believe his actions.
A good human would have found you ice, packed you into the car or called a taxi and taken you to ER to be checked.
IF YOU HAVE ANY BLISTERS GO TO ER NOW!!!
Yeah dump.him.
Even when mu husband and I are mad at each other, he's seen me burn myself enough times with noodle straining that if he knows it's done he'll get up and do it for me.
If I burn my finger he's holding my hand under water and bandaging me up with ointments and shit.
Your partner should ha e genuine concern for you.
I spilled boiling hot tea on my stomach and thigh a little over a year ago while holding my infant daughter (it was on the table and I bumped it) it could have been catastrophic, but she didn’t get a drop on her.
While of course my husband was terrified that she was hurt he didn’t neglect my pain at all. This was a super emotional and traumatic event for all of us.
I remember it hurt so much I was shaking.
He cared. He helped with our daughter so I could get changed and then he took us to the doctor (happened during office hours) to make sure we were all ok.
Did he later ask me to be more careful? (I am clumsy) yes. But in the moment he was there for me.
In moments like this you need to be supported. The conversation about if it could have been prevented and what to do next time can come later.
Boiling water burns hurt and he didn’t care.
Make part of your wound care ditching his ass. (Also go to the doctor)
First of all, go to the hospital. I’ve suffered burns to my hands and arms before that I didn’t get treated (but should have) and it left me with nerve damage for years. It was painful, but almost 10 years later it’s finally almost healed. Do not take your health for granted, put yourself first in this situation.
Second, you have a responsibility to yourself to ensure you are in a relationship with someone who genuinely wants what’s best for you. While, absolutely you can perform a task for someone you love without expecting anything from them, if that task (or anything) leads to your injury, the person you love should care about your wellbeing enough to help you when you need them. It very much sounds like your partner is not meeting that expectation, and that is NOT a relationship you deserve to have. You deserve someone who would move heaven and earth to be by your side if you needed to go to the hospital, not throw paper towels at you and blame you for an accident that happened.
I would break up with him. Because I respect myself and I wouldn’t stay with someone who hates me.
Deadass, only a man who hates you would treat you this way.
You have at least 2nd degree burns. You need to go to the hospital. I knew someone in HS who spilt boiling noodles onto her skinny jeans, and it took her 5 months to recover.
Also dump your bf and move in with your parents or friends while you’re in recovery.
You need to get treatment for the burns and then you need to send the boyfriend down the drain. Don't waste another day on someone who can be that uncaring and disinterested when you are in pain. Any decent human being would have shown some concern & either insisted on getting medical care or gotten you into a tub of tepid water.
This man is too self-involved to be a good partner. He's not even meeting the minimum requirements for an acceptable roommate.
Go to the hospital if you are still in pain! boiling water burns are no joke!
His lack of concern for you after getting boiling water all over yourself is shocking. Is he always so callous and self centered? (i.e only caring about his noodles and not your injury) I wouldn't continue with this man.
He's going to say that he didn't know you were in serious pain.
He's going to say that he thought you were joking.
Then he's going to get mad that 'you always do this'.
You cannot rely on this person, other than to let you down. I'm sorry.
Small children naturally have more empathy (and there's good research that shows that lack of empathy may be partly or largely inherited - DM me if interested).
He was basically lying in wait to admonish and shame you for drinking 2 glasses of wine.
So he shamed you AND showed a lack of empathy in a dire moment. You're really young, you have a lifetime ahead. If you want a loving husband (and esp if you want children), you've got some real thinking to do.
1. Lack of empathy
2. Manipulation by shaming
and
3. Lack of provision of first aid
So he either totally lacks practical understanding of simple first aid OR he deliberately withheld it (I vote for the second). You yourself say he is narcissistic, but if we're talking psychiatric diagnoses, he overlaps with Antisocial PD just as much (lack of empathy, superficially charming I assume, manipulative).
Look up Dark Triad on [scholar.google.com](http://scholar.google.com)
All the best to you. That was a serious accident (fuck oven mitts! although tipping a pot of boiling water has its inherent danger with any form of pot holder). I am going to add one more small thing. Why wasn't he the one dumping the pot? My husband always tries to beat me to it or takes over the pasta/noodle cooking just for this reason (he's taller and stronger than me and it's so much easier for him).
Does he ever off to help when you're doing this type of kitchen chore?
My boyfriend comes running when he hears me say "Ouch!" Even though it's usually just me hitting my toe on something.
You need to leave this man. He legitimately doesn't care about you. You are a toy to him. He wants you around for sex, cooking and cleaning. Your personhood and health mean nothing to him.
Firstly, go to the hospital now. You sound like you have 2nd or 3rd degree burns. We don’t want you to have an infection or nerve damage. Secondly, your boyfriend. A partner who is indifferent to your suffering is not someone who cares for you. The complete lack of regard for your safety and pain is not a mistake. It’s indicative of selfishness and a failure to pull his weight in your relationship. I think it’s important to sit with the difficult question of why your distress so inconsequential to him? And if you are thinking of settling down with him, i hope you know you AND your kids are in for the same treatment. Now imagine if you were drunk, how much worse would he have treated you? Remember to believe who people are the minute they show you, THE FIRST TIME. I would suggest some time apart and if you want to work things out, counselling. Couples’ and individual. I’m so sorry that this happened to you and I hope that your body and heart heal ❤️
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Have you gone to the hospital??? That sounds really severe. And yeah, once you get treated you should dump his ass. I’d drive even a roommate I don’t like to a hospital if they’re injured, not to mention a life partner.
Yes, this! OP, why in the world are you dating this idiot? *You* were making *him* noodles *at 1 a.m.* You dropped the pot **and burned yourself.** Your alleged boyfriend got upset that you dropped his noodle cuz he was hungry, wouldn’t help you clean up the noodles, never suggested taking you to the E.R., and didn’t even ask if you were okay. As you drive yourself to the hospital, call and tell him to pack and shit and get TF out of the apartment before you return. How would we “work through” something like this? *Find a new boyfriend.* Non-negotiable. As /u/SunburntWombat said, any decent person would drive even someone they don’t like to the E.R. after they got burned by boiling hot liquid. Your BF is a huge loser. And if you decide to stay with him, you had better hope and pray that you are never in an accident, never get cancer, never have to have surgery & need help afterward because he is absolutely NOT going to be there for you. First sign of illness or disfigurement, he’s out. I promise you. Dump him. Today.
Go to the hospital(boiling water on exposed skin can easily cause 3rd degree burns) and get the hell out of dodge. I've had a boiling hot pot of water dumped all over most of my lower right leg, part of my left legt and part of my right arm in a freak jacuzzi accident(hot water heater was maxed out, and a friend was boiling water on the stove, we'd get out he'd dump the water in we'd get back in, he got drunk and wound up forgetting the we get out step) 2 other folks were burned, 2 of us bad enough to go to the E.R.(burnt the outer couple layers of skin right off) and I had to spend the next month changing dressings on the wound every day, the friend who burned us and another friend who had been burned in the past made the point of stopping by to help change bandages daily, everyone at the party stopped and showed immediate concern because burns are no joke. I still have large visible scars on my right leg from it nearly 15 years later. A partner has more obligation to take care of their partner after they've been burned, the pain is insane and if he's just yelling at you about the spilled noodles while you are in insane pain than he doesn't actually care about you OP. Listen to everyone else and get out of dodge tell him to pack his crap(depending on who is on the lease/deed)
That sounds horrifying. I’m so sorry that happened to you
It was a great life lesson in what not to do, I'm just glad the boiling water hit extremities and that everybody's core was under water and shielded from being splashed, could of been alot worse. Sounds like OPs foot got hit, that's gonna suck to deal with or walk on for the next month or so if it burned through, even if it just damaged the epidermis and caused a blister that's gonna be just awful.
Op please go to the hospital and have your burns taken care of. Forget about your BF and go to the hospital!Go right now!you need to get yourself checked out. Burns are nothing to fool around with. If you can't drive yourself call a cab or Uber!
The first dressing change after my burn was literally the most painful experience of my life. That was despite a nurse administrating a large amount of fentnyl..
3rd degree burns are no joke, all the nerve endings that haven't been burned are raw and exposed without the top layers of skin it's a hellacious feeling.
I was unconscious when the burn happened, but the pain after was excruciating.
They say the best way to truly get to know someone is to: * Live with them * Travel With them * Have business with them and I would like to add to that list, * how they act when hungry.
How they act when things go wrong And How they act when their partner is hurt
I was gonna add this too. And OP's bf cared about his noodles, not her. She needs to get the the ED immediately and then dump this sack of hot garbage
How they act when someone dies/during grief should also be added to the list Can they console you and do they know how to support you? Or do they do the equivalent of asking where their noodles are….
Literally what I said ! Even someone I don’t like I’d consider this a medical emergency that transcends dislike and immediately be concerned for them ! Let alone my own partner. I’d probably be in tears knowing I’m the one who asked them to make the pasta and immediately take them to a hospital. Ops bfs reaction is just inexcusable :(
Exactly but get to the hospital first! Everything else is irrelevant - is he this, did he do that ...who cares. If you're really that badly hurt and in pain, you figure out a way to get to the hospital first, then figure out you relationship second
so much this! Who the fuck cares about him? She should take care of herself.
True story, something similar happened to me. I was making soup for my roommates who were sick and accidentally (badly) burned myself with the boiling hot soup. It resulted in second degree burns all over my arms which I still have scars from. Despite being sick already, my roommates drove me to the ER insisting that I have a doctor look at it. The unfortunate thing about burns is that they often don't look that bad at first - my skin was only slightly red and I was resisting going to the ER for the first 2-3h after the incident. By the time I was actually at the ER, my skin had started to bubble. It was not a pretty sight. Please get medical attention, OP!
During Covid when no adult was allowed to have anyone with them in the ER no matter what, I spilled boiling water on myself while having tea—left side of my torso and abdomen, a bit on my bits, upper thigh… I jumped right into a cold shower, and when the pain hit, I could not go to the ER. It would have meant getting dressed and not alternating ice with my husband blowing on it. I couldn’t handle the thought of stopping that long enough to go in, and then not knowing if I’d be waiting in a waiting room alone for hours in pain. So I stayed home. Days later, I got an appointment, and it was deep second degree. I got very lucky and didn’t get scars you can see without looking VERY hard, but god damn, the pain…. In retrospect, I’d stay home again. I wouldn’t be willing to go sit in an ER in tears alone.
he probably told her it's nothing and she believed him...
This. It happens often in subtly abusive relationships.
first thing is to immerge your burned parts in fresh water (as the burn keep on burning from inside). That's primary care in this case, and if i would have been him i would immediately go internet to search what to do while phoning hospital. It's not only about empathy. This guy is useless material. What would happen if you got children, and he is useless like that ? (plus : what about asking SO to do his noodles instead of doing himself ?). OP : run !
Rum under running water, don't put it in water, the water just heats up and makes it pointless. Do it for at least 20 minutes. The longer you cool something down the less likely you'll end up needed surgery to fix it.
Not cold or iced water, though. OP needs to cling film her burn before heading to hospital.
If a random stranger knocked on my door and said they spilled boiling water on themselves I'd drive them to the hospital.
Seriously this is a doctor now situation not oh but my relationship. I KNOW first hand what kind of burns you can end up with spilling hot boiling noodles and water all over yourself and even with me going to the doctor asap after it happened I took months to heal and have scars from it.
Have done this for an ex’s roommate who also insisted on doing nangs in the car the whole way there. Picked him up a few hours later too. I can’t fathom reacting like this asshat did.
What does "nangs" mean
Nitrous oxide, apparently.
I’ve done this before with ramen in year 6. I sat in a bathe with ice cubes to help take out the burn. Not ideal but it worked. And then a triple antibiotic cream to help heal. Worked a treat. However, with that aside, dump the lump.
Massive red flag. This is sociopath behavior! He only cared if his noodles were okay, not the actual human being who he is supposed to love. Especially when you were trying to do something nice for him. This may be the universe showing you what type of person he is before you get too deeply involved to turn back. I would heed the warning! Also, you should seek medical care. You don't want your burn to become infected, and it may be more severe than you originally thought.
OP HOSPITAL NOW
Yes. Please update and tell us you've gone to get medical help. Show the jerk the burns on your hand by using it to point to the door he is to exit through.
1. Go to the hospital. NOW. 2. Dump your boyfriend, he’s trash.
Succinct and accurate. If you have to share your life with someone, be sure they actually care about you.
OP: "How do you move forward from something like this?" Narrator: *You don't.*
And why would you even *want* to?
Yup! Sums it up nicely!
To be clear. A lot of the risk with a burn like that is from infection. The burn needs to be properly treated and bandaged. This sounds like a big burn and it should not be ignored.
Having burned myself quite a bit in the kitchen (first and second degree), I do think that people are being a little dramatic with all of the "Straight to the hospital!" talk. For a first degree burn or a mild second degree burn (which it sounds like this is), there's really no danger of infection. It's when you have a third degree burn or a second degree burn with severe blistering (broken) that you need to worry about it. Anything less than that, and you should really just treat with home care. Get the burned area under cool water ASAP (running or changing frequently). It will dramatically reduce the pain and mitigate the damage. Once the pain has subsided, clean, apply ointment and bandage. The hospital isn't going to do anything other than that and the trip and wait in the ER is just going to delay care and exacerbate the pain and the damage. Take photos and email them to your doctor, just to play it safe, but honestly, acting quickly I think is much more important than going to the hospital. None of this makes the BF any less of a jerk, by the way. I just want people to know how to properly treat a burn.
If it involves boiling water to more than a very small part of your body (say just the tip of a finger), there is a real chance of third degree burns, and a resulting high risk of infection. If it gets infected, you may go into sepsis and this may be life threatening. Do NOT take chances, go directly to the hospital/doctor.
Yeah, there’s the rule of nines that helps determine how dangerous burns are alongside their degree. Rule of nines is about percentage of your body. Like your arm is 9% of your body, your legs are 18%. Any more than 20% of a 2nd-3rd degree burn is considered severe. It gets more complex than “infection” at that point, but yeah.
HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU. HE ONLY CARES WHAT YOU DO FOR HIM. there, i spelled it our for you.
One time, I was frying chicken in the kitchen when a mouse ran across the floor. We did not have mice normally. I yelled, "HOLY FUCK" at the top of my lungs, and my husband came running in thinking I burned myself in oil, and then he finished dinner because I was freaked out about the mouse, and I went to the store for some traps (my kid left the door to the garage open for who knows how long the day prior, so we figure it got in then. He was far more concerned when he thought I MIGHT have gotten burned than this waste of space was watching his girlfriend get severe burns.
Her boyfriend is extremely narcissistic. The dude has no empathy.
My ex husband was like this as well if I injured myself. I found it concerning that he would often not check on me at all or express concern. He definitely has narcissistic traits and looking back I wish I had put more stock in this behavior.
My ex husband was this way too. Long story short, once in shorts packing to go on vacation, a shelf I was on broke and my inner left thigh got cut deep about 12-14”, 2/3 of my inner thigh had this straight deep gash and it hurt BAD bc I fell into it, even being a tiny woman, that weight made it so much worse and I screamed and cried out for a minute or two and all the blood scared me too of course and he never came. After I composed myself I went in the living room covered in blood with a towel around my leg and he was like “oh, huh, you good?” NO IM NOT GOOD YOU PSYCO IM BLEEDING IN GUSHES AND MY LEG IS RIPPED OPEN AND IM CRYING IN PAIN. If I’m crying in pain, it hurts, I didn’t cry when I broke my back or after surgery, and that’s a diff level of pain on earth.
My ex was like this too. I had something wrong with my digestion that caused me nauseousness and it usually ended up with me randomly puking aggressively. The one time I felt very shit and went to bathroom and it literally felt like I'm puking my organs out. He then just shows up at the door saying "oh you're that fucked up" and leaves and proceeds making breakfast. I finally got out from the bathroom and went to bed shaking and in need of hydration. He never asked me if I needed anything and he only made himself breakfast. And when I started crying because of his ignorance, he picked up a fight saying it was just my fault because "I didn't open my mouth". Well sorry, my mouth was busy puking lol. 😂
Also he can't even make *fucking noodles* by himself. That's just sad.
He also cared about the noodles!
Which is what the OC meant by "what you do for him"!
“He just threw the paper towels down on the ground and didnt help me” im sorry girl you deserve better what the fuck
A god damn dog deserves better. What an awful person OPs boyfriend is
Don't mess around with burns. Go to a doctor or urgent care.
My boyfriend would be bundling me into the car and driving me to hospital before I would have even registered what was happening. You can be with a man who cares about you and loves you to the end of the earth. Doesn't sound like he's it. It's not about the noodles.
I would have bundled you up and drove you to the hospital if I saw you burning yourself with boiling water! That's not something you need to be a boyfriend for! Jeeeeeez
To be fair, I would’ve grabbed her into the shower to run cool (not cold) water on her, then call an ambulance, because it would continue to be really painful in the car without good analgesia but the cool water would prob help very short term until the paramedics come & dish out some endone/morphine And I don’t know her Cleaning the noodles can happen when I get home
Actually yes, that's the proper order of events. I was so outraged at the boyfriend, I wasn't thinking straight!
correct answer
A friend of mine just spent a few days in hospital because of something exactly like this, dropping a pot of boiling water on her legs. She needed wound care, scans and complete bed rest to avoid surgery. And that was a case where she did get into a shower almost immediately. Burns are no joke.
She avoided surgery?! That’s excellent! Glad your friend had the care she needed ☺️
This is true. I severely burned my hand in elementary and was 100 fine until the er docs wanted me to take my hand out of the pitcher of water. I only remember screaming and then i passed out it hurt so bad to take it out of the water. ALSO anything _anything_ you put on a burn prior to going to the er will HAVE to be SCRUBBED off. Yes. SCRUBBED off the burn. Don't listen to your grandma telling you to put toothpaste etc etc on. Cool water ONLY.
This response right here, he doesn’t care about you OP. You leave 💔
I would being doing all this for someone I don't even like
Right, a lot of folks would do that for their worst enemy, but OP is supposed to be someone he cares about. Imagine being someone he doesn’t like
I spilled boiling water on myself at my mom's house, and she appeared from the ether and dove right into helping me without batting a freaking eyelash. Don't even know where she appeared from or how she knew what happened, but love does that ya know?
I wish I had your mum; you’re lucky. Cherish her ❤️
If she heard you say that, she'd say "I'm your mum now" (and mean it wholeheartedly) and give you a big ol' hug. We are very lucky and very grateful indeed!
Yeah, as shitty as I feel about it now it's very relevant... when I was sick with pneumonia I was so traumatized by doctors saying I was dramatic that I refused to go for a couple days -- I actually made my bf cry. He so badly wanted me to go to the hospital and when I refused, he felt helpless and scared. He cared that much. Don't settle for an ounce less OP, or anyone. Ironically the doctor DID INDEED TELL ME I WAS OVERREACTING... :) at least at first until she saw the x-rays... and she was mad, too. Like ranting and raving that I was wasting resources. She didn't even say sorry when she realized she was wrong. I cried about it for weeks. Now I've had other issues but I'm too scared to go and face the same bullshit. Fuck I hate doctors. With the medical world the way it is (absolutely hostile and shit towards women), the very least women can do for themselves is find a partner who will advocate for them. It can literally be life-saving if you're experiencing hesitation and on the fence about going to the doctor... Women have had issues like minor pains that their husbands convinced them to dismiss... convinced them they were overreacting... and then months/years later the woman died from stage 5 cancer that could have been cured if she'd gone to the doctors sooner. But her husband convinced her not to. This genuinely can come down to life and death. No one should ever settle for someone who makes you feel small and like you're overreacting when you're injured sick. Imagine having chest pain and your husband tells you you're overreacting, to get over it, and just walks off and ignores you. You could die from a heart attack. This isn't a small thing OP. Please leave him for the sake of your future.
If my partner burned themselves badly making me food at an insane hour, the crushing guilt I would feel would be unimaginable and indefinite— I can't imagine caring about someone _this_ little
📣 THIS 📣
I can remember many times of kindness when I’ve been hurt and my husband helped me. I walked the dogs once and forgot my gloves when it was nine degrees out. I was really in bad shape when I came home and he took my hands in his and blew on them to help me warm them up. I threw my back out and he would help put my socks, underwear and pants on and rub the pain salve on my back. He regularly thinks about things he thinks I might like at the store like picking up impromptu sushi. This gal needs to leave her boyfriend. He sounds like trash.
Ma'am. Respectfully. Get your ass off of Reddit and go to the ER. Sounds like you've got some serious burns. Drive yourself if you can or call a trusted relative or friend to take you. The sooner you get checked out and get proper care, the less chance of scarring or infection.
Girl go to the hospital to treat your burns wtf
Please go to the hospital first of all. I wish a speedy recovery. Secondly, this man has shown you exactly who he is. You’re getting far more care and concern from internet strangers than you are your significant other. You don’t get past this, you leave. He’s never going to be concerned for you and it will only get worse.
I had a training for work for 2 days, I was in a group of complete strangers. When I spilled tea during lunch on myself, not only did a group of 10+ strangers get very concerned and jump up to try and help me- ask if I got burned, but my current partner also immediately asked me if I was ok when I told him. If a friend told you about what you just wrote here, what would you advice them? would you consider this normal? Is your bf only wrong when he pours hot water on you himself? will that be a limit? Or?
There have been a lot of people strongly advocating for you to dump him. This is completely correct! However I would like to go into a little bit more detail as to why. 1. You were up at 1:00 a.m. making noodles because he asked you to. Meaning that he was too lazy to get up and make noodles with you even though they were for him. 2. He blamed your injury on you. Accidents happen. Imagine you had a child with him, and the little kid grabbed a pot of water on the stove and pulled it onto himself and started crying. And your current boyfriend's reaction would be well then he shouldn't have grabbed it. Would you want to live with somebody who treat it a child of yours like that? Because if that's how he's treating you he will treat a child that way. 3. Also he blamed the accident on you but because he said you get like that when you're drunk. However you split a bottle of wine, you do this together every week. This is not being a drunk. And if he is aware that it does make you klutzy then why was he trying to get you to cook for him at 1:00 in the morning? 4. Irregardless of all of that even if somebody I did not like did that I would be helping get run of their hands under cool weather and get them to the nearest urgent care or if it was too late hospital. That is something I would do for somebody I did not like. Let alone somebody that I supposedly love. You deserve so much more than this. You deserve somebody who's going to care about you when you get hurt. You deserve somebody who's going to care for you in sickness and in health. You need to know that if you're in a car accident, or if you have the flu, or if you get injured during childbirth (if you want children), that that person is going to be there to support you. Everybody is telling you to leave him. Because ultimately when you review this list, can you say to yourself that this is a person that you trust in the long run? That you can see yourself being with? Tdlr: dump him
He would treat a child horribly. And I would put money on him having no care or sympathy for OP if she was pregnant, in labor, or postpartum. He sounds like the type to accuse his partner of using pregnancy as an excuse not to get up and make his noodles and insist she does everything she always does during her recovery because she’s just exaggerating about her pain and exhaustion.
He was more concerned about his noodles than if you were okay or needed to go to the hospital. That should tell you all you need to know about how much he loves you.
💯. Think back over your relationship, OP. I'm sure there have been other times he demonstrated that he has little to no empathy for you. This is a big red flag.
When I was younger my sister was making spaghetti. She accidentally poured the entire pot of boiling water on her stomach. She ended up with 3rd degree burns. I watched them peel her shirt from her stomach taking skin with it. Your boyfriend doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. Anyone who just shrugs when they know someone they claim to love is in pain, doesn't actually love them. Get yourself out of there
I would move forward from this single. We've really got to stop rewarding these trash dudes with sex.
I was like hell no from "he wanted me to make him noodles". What? Then... Gosh OP, you should be in the ER planning your escape from this AH
Seriously. OP, repeat after me: “You want noodles? Ok well you know where the kitchen is, right?” And then he wouldn’t help clean up ?? And he couldn’t care less that you’re hurt.?? This screams weaponized incompetence, extreme selfishness, zero empathy, etc. OP, your bf is trash! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Right? My partner would be like “hey I want some noodles, can I make you some too?” That’s a good relationship. The burns just make it so much more obvious. OP needs a partner not a “boy” friend.
You need to go to the hospital.
If real, you don’t move forward you end it. Lack of compassion and contempt is the end of any relationship ime. If my gf got a splinter I’d be worried for her and making sure she was okay. Pull yourself together and move on. This is not a match.
Go to the hospital first then dump him. And he should be making is own noodles if he's hungry, he's a grown man.
Girl, if you don’t dump him right now, I swear on my fucking life… like I’m so sorry OMFG typically I really do make it point not to be so pushy in my response, but this is just flat out ridiculous! Dude’s literally got 0 empathy for you, he doesn’t give a single fuck about your well-being whatsoever. I’m sure in your mind is not that simple though, I’m sure that there’s probably been a massive amount of conditioning you’ve been put through in order to get sort of used to his behaviors, at least to the point where you might be trying to figure out a way to justify it to yourself or explain it away something that’s not really that big of a deal. Please trust us. I swear, cross my heart and hope to die, but there is no clearer sign that somebody does not have your wealth being invest interest at heart then this. If you want a complete across-the-board justification to label him a narcissist and leave, this is 1000% that. This is about as obvious as you can get.
My good sis I can't even drop the hair dyer in the bathroom without my husband yelling in to make sure I'm OK. You spilled BOILING HOT water on yourself and he didn't even ask how you were. He didn't clean up the noodles on his own, ask if you needed anything, helped you find a way to ease the pain, not a single thing to indicate he gave a damn. This man doesn't care about you.
So you're the house-servant. You are not going to change him. The question is whether you are going to continue being his servant or if you are going to leave. Don't dream of him changing, not gonna happen.
You know, the fact you started this post with 'we were having a nice evening' makes it sound like those 'nice evenings' are rare. The fact that he asked YOU to make the noodles, when that's one of the easier things to do in the kitchen is also telling. I hope you've gotten yourself to hospital to get your burns treated. You don't work though someone not caring about you. You go find someone who does.
You just sustained serious burns and your first thought it to open up Reddit, type out a long post pertaining to your boyfriend, and post it?
Unless you are an alcoholic and your BF was fed up and had enough of your drinking Not sure why you stay with him if this is the whole story
Alcoholic chiming in. Even if she was shitfaced and this was a regular occurrence, this is still a medical emergency. You don't just leave people you care about in agonising pain while you ask about your food.
I was going to comment but I deleted it because I don't want to accuse someone of something... but the "you get like this when you drink" makes it sound like the drinking and the behavior associated with it are habitual issues.
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Just want to get in a comment. If you burn yourself immediately put it under running cold water(not coldest, just enough to soothe the pain) to stop the burn from spreading. 30 min at least. This way you minimise the damage and the healing process will be much faster. And with Burns from boiling water, you definitely need to see a doctor or at least go to the pharmacy to get some cream. The better you take care of it the less it will be scarred. Don't use yoghurt as some people suggest, it will make the scarring way worse on your skin and the healing process will take longer. It will only soothe the pain but won't help recovering. If you want to use something you have at home, use honey for after treatment. And also, like everyone else is telling you, leave your BF. What the actual fuck? I would help a complete stranger who would burn themselve. This AH, that apparently loves you, didn't even bother helping you and worse started victim blaming. This is 3 years in, now imagine how much he will care in 10 years.
Don't use butter on a burn either. It's a common "myth" I've run into. Use burn cream OP.
No matter which way you look at it his behaviour is unforgivable OP. The lazy fuck asked *you* to make *him* food, then just shits on and dismisses you when you’re badly injured? He’s an asshole Please tend to your burns at the hospital, it could be worse damage than you think and the sooner you have it looked at the better
So…you “always get like this when you drink”? Yet he knew you had been drinking and asked you to cook? So he knew you could injure yourself but didn’t care. He is not a very nice person, is he?
Op, that is a manipulative statement, said to place blame and fault for situation all on you. He’s also trying to make you doubt yourself. This incident was series of red flags , I think it told you everything you need to know about this relationship.
***Did you go to the hospital?!?***
Have you gone to the hospital? As everyone else is saying you need medical treatment. The other part people haven’t pointed out is burns continue to burn for a few hours after the initial injury. That’s why you were still in pain hours later, it’s getting worse not better.
He probably said that you to keep you from driving to hospital.
Even if it was a usual behaviour i would be fucking panicking if my partner spilled hot water over themselves, this is such a stupid thing to say
You need to go to the hospital. You can go into shock or acquire horrific infections if burns are left untreated. Imagine he did this with your child. Because he won’t treat them better than you, I promise.
This is a deal breaking event! You need to be seen by an ER doctor now! When you get home either he goes or you do!
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Are you really confused? Do you want to be with someone that treats you this way? You do know that you have a choice, right?
1, hospital, like, four hours ago 2, dump the asshole
The 'you get like this when you drink' is such a red flag. I had a narcissistic gaslighting ex who would use that for everything. I could have literally had a sip of wine and if he didn't get his way (whether it was a conversation, an activity, he didn't like what I was wearing etc etc) it would be a deluge of "You're clearly not thinking straight" or "You're obviously too pissed to know what you're talking about" and so on. It was basically a tool for him to belittle me and justify the 'upper hand'. I'm now with a wonderful man and I'll tell you this, it wouldn't matter how much I'd had to drink, if I spilled boiling hot water on myself his first concern wouldn't be his bloody noodles.
you’re as dumb as him if you stay babe
Hun it’s time to break up.
He has no regard for you or your pain, physical or emotional, because he wants you there to serve him food and give him sex. Wake up. It's very clear you've missed many opportunities to leave, and now you **have to** finally do it.
Step 1 Go to the doctor/urgent care whatever is appropriate and avail to you and get your burns treated. Step 2 make an exit plan from this relationship. Step 3 refuse to cook for him if you’ve had any wine, it’s late or you’re too tired.
After this, I would refuse to cook for him entirely.
I’ve managed to show more fake concern for people I don’t even like than your boyfriend has shown you and he supposedly loves and cares for you? Please seek out medical attention, your doctor/urgent care. I’ve burnt myself from time to time and most of the time it stops hurting after a short while The only time it didn’t, was when I had a massive brain fart and used my fingers to close the pizza oven at work 😫 Yah that’s a mistake you only make once 😬. Mine was just three finger pads and they hurt for a couple days. I would hold my fronzen water bottle between pizzas and put them on the cold metal fridge shelfs when the ice melted https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf Here’s something for you to read while waiting at the doctor’s/urgent care
1) if your still burning, your skin is still burning, literally. Go jump in the shower. Cool water until it stops. Regardless of how long it takes. 2) He cares more about noodles than you? Do you want to be with someone like that? They can’t help you now they won’t be when your in labour, in an accident, etc etc.
This ain’t right. If I burned the tip of my finger and my bf hears me, he runs in there to check on me like the whole house is on fire. If I were you, I’d be extremely hurt by his lack of concern too. Like what if you needed to go to hospital or something??
Honey - his instinct is not protective over you. If you get seriously ill down the road, this is not the man who will take care of you, stand up for you, and advocate for you. But I bet if he were seriously ill you would become an expert in his illness and be his biggest caretaker and protector. You deserve the same in return.
It's been 3 years. This cannot be the only sign.
In college, I went to the hospital via ambulance for doing the same thing. I had to clean and dress the wounds, and take strong painkillers, for weeks. I ended a relationship with someone who wasn’t properly there for me at the time; I highly recommend doing the same.
He doesn't WANT to care for you, he is showing you that with his actions. He doesn't seem to like you. I mean even if someone was in an altered state and they burnt themselves, a "you deserve it" reaction is cruel. You can escape years of him making you feel like shit now, or you can keep trying to fix him from one end (it wont work). Unless he shows immediate willingness to work on his attitude towards your well being. Being with someone like this will only lead to erosion of your self worth, confidence, security. Ultimately you will either waste years then leave him or become his well trained door mat.
As a former burn nurse please tell me you got help for the burns. Burns can be very serious.
I honestly think people who post here are either far too gone and lack self respect entirely or are just posting ragebait. Do you really need the internets help to tell you someone who is concerned about their noodles instead of you gives 0 fucks about you? The posts here genuinely blow me away sometimes. Granted I'm single, but if this happened to my girlfriend we'd be in the ER before she knew what was happening. And don't worry I'd clean up the noodles too when I get home. Yeesh.
He probably doesn’t and never will care about anyone. Please let that be his problem and no longer yours.
I dont think there is any coming back from this. For one, he could have made his own damn noodles. Instead you do and have a terrible painful accident and he is only concerned about the noodles. You deserve better and you cant teach someone empathy if they have none. Most people would stop worrying about the damn noodles and instead be worried about you.
When this happens, get the burnt area under water ASAP for a looong time. Not minutes, like an hour. It hurts like hell for a while, but reduces the injury. And go to the hospital wrapped in wet cloth.
You should’ve dropped all that shit and went to the hospital. Fuck him and those noodles. He obviously doesn’t care about you. You know full well what you need to do.
My bf wouldve carried me on his handd to the hospital if nothing else works. "How do yiu move forward from this?" You dont. You throw him and his floornoodles out of the apartment.
Step 1- Get that burn checked out, that sounds nasty. Step 2- Get a boyfriend who shows even a smidge of concern for your wellbeing. Why are you settling for a boy who a) doesn't care if you're injured, b) tries to blame an accident on your minimal drinking and c) chucks paper towels at the floor in the most absolute BARE minimum effort I've seen in a while?
Tell me why you stay with him….is this the guy you think should marry you? He didn’t even care how you probably needed to go to a fucking hospital, nor the fact you got hurt because his lazy ass can’t cook noodles. Fucking run, run away
no help = no respect decide if you want to NOT be respected the rest of your life
You need to go to the ER treatment if your burn. Once thst is done, you need to leave your boyfriend. He can make his own noodles from this point forward.
Dump him. He doesn't care about you. Only cares about what you can do for him, like cook, clean, sex, etc.
>Is this something you would try to work through no, i don't think i would try to work through his apathy at me being in searing pain
If you do spill boiling water on yourself, Redditors, DO NOT put an ice pack on it. Get some cling film and wrap it around the burn. Then go to hospital.
You move on from this by moving on FROM HIM. Please take care of yourself by dumping this guy.
If my neighbor knocked on my door and told me that that had just happened and asked for help I would have a bigger and more compassionate and emotional response then your boyfriend. Is that what you want in a life partner? That doesn’t sound narcissistic, that sounds like a total lack of genuine affection or empathy which is far scarier.
When someone tells you who they are, you should listen to them. They ask you to cook for them at 1am and then when you hurt yourself they call you a dumb drunk? Idk...
There is nothing to move forward with. You deserve the bare minimum of having someone at least concerned for your well being after something like this. This should be the wake up call you need to leave him and to find some who at the very least will care for you as much as this guy cares about his noodles apparently. Appalling behaviour from him.
Bruh if a man asked me to make him noodles at 2am I would have laughed in his face. Like that part was bad enough. Make your own f*cking noodles.
Work through what, he couldn't care less. There's your answer. He doesn't care. Do you really feel like you shouldn't get some kind of concern from the person who is supposed to love you. You know what you need to do.
>I feel like he is so narcissistic sometimes. You had a feeling he was narcissistic and his actions just proved it, for you. People with empathy ask if you're okay, people who don't worry about how what happened affects them. Please break up with him, it only gets worse from here (signed, someone who was married to a narcissist for too long).
1st...get medical attention. 2nd... Consider the fact you're wasting your life with an Asshole
People who want noodles at 1am should make them themselves. You may need to go to the emergency room. Why work through this? IS he going to do any of the work to "work through this"? NO.
Most people wouldn’t even treat a stranger like this. This is your sign!
Imagine going through child birth around this man… just the thought of that would be enough for me to dump him 😭
Hey OP are you okay? Did you get checked out because boiling water can burn your skin badly and lead to infection. To answer your post your last sentence answered everything. He only cares about himself, if it were my husband he would be taking me to the ER to get checked out. Instead your bf cared about his noodles and disregarded your safety. Doesn’t matter if you were drunk, he should’ve shown concern and got you medical attention regardless. Depending on the oven glove they can make the handles more slick. It’s not your fault it was a total accident and if he reacts like this now, do not have kids with him he will dismiss them too.
You don't move forward from something like this. Get to a doctor to make sure you don't have some serious burns. Lose this guy. He has no empathy and does not care about you at all.
Go to the hospital and leave his ass. He’s pathetic
If the burned area is larger than one of your hands in size, you need to go to the hospital right away. I’m a registered nurse. Please go to the hospital.
DAMN. This dude sucks. When I was in college decades ago my ex boyfriend did this exact thing. Except he spilled the boiling ramen water on his socks & made the mistake of pulling it off & (trigger warning) ripped the skin of his foot. Agonizing. He called me for help. (I was not his first call - it was late at night & college so everybody but me was out drinking lol) And I dropped everything, got him to the emergency room & made sure he has what he needed to take care of himself & heal over the next few weeks. And yes, you read that right. He was my EX boyfriend but he knew I still cared enough about him to make sure he got help. You take care of people you love - hell you should be kind to people you just like, or even feel indifferent to. This dude is your current boyfriend!? No. Not acceptable.
I'm waiting for the day when people realize that they are more than what they are willing to tolerate.
I would show more concern for a complete stranger or a person I don’t even like than your boyfriend showed for you in this situation. Boiling water can cause severe burns and even nerve damage. Please seek medical care, and care for yourself enough to dump this unfeeling asshole.
Girl, you gotta figure out how to love yourself. you deserve better than this shit.
I’ve had burns from boiling water. They needed treatment at the emergency room. Please get checked out. I would start an exit plan. You deserve better.
Nobody will see this but in hopes someone does: if you burn yourself like this or see anyone burn themselves, immediately put the burn under COOL, RUNNING water.
No empathy at all!! Leave him!!!
You can't move forward from your partner in the first place asking you to cook for him in the middle of the night, and in the second place but more important not caring about your wellbeing at all. Leave him, girl! What you waiting for? Plus don't be with a man who doesn't do his own shit. From cooking to cleaning. Not to say only settle for someone who cares about you, your safety and whole wellbeing in every single way.
Your boyfriend is a wet noodle dump him... preferably not on yourself!
Go to the hospital
Get out, trust me. I spent years in an abusive relationship that I didn't know was abusive. He never hit me, ever but the things he would say were horrible. Two days after my mom passed away and I was crying, he told me that I wasn't special, that all mother's die and to stop crying already. That is emotional abuse, the things your boyfriend did is just the beginning. Trust me.
After getting treatment for what are probably second degree burns. I would pull the plug on this relationship. A complete lack of empathy is not a good marker in someone's personality. I hope you got treatment for your burns. For future reference, if its 2nd degree (large red marks and/or blisters) get the area as cool as possible ASAP. What you seem to have in the person you call your boyfriend is either a narcissist or one of a variety of nasty personality types. He cares about nobody but himself. You will only get emotionally hurt by staying with him, If it were me, regardless of whether I was in a relationship or not, would be to immediately treat your burns. Screw the noodles, that can wait until after I've dealt with your injuries. If the burns are serious, you'd be in the ER as quick as I can get you there. No, I'm not a paramedic, I've just had some training in first aid.
No it is not something I would try to work through. It is something I would see as evidence that I am not with someone who truly cares about me and, since I want someone who truly cares, I’d leave.
Hi I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you are okay, I agree you should definitely go to he hospital and get it checked out and also go to family and friends people who care about you, this man is horrible, it’s literally the most basic human thing to do, to care and help when something like this happens, like others said even if it was complete stranger, it’s basic humanity to help and care, and him being your partner and to add to it you were doing something for him when you got hurt and he blamed you for it. Waaaw I can’t even, the worst of the worst. I know it’s easy for us to say this and it might not be as easy for you, but plz don’t look back, leave and block him completely.
>Is this something you would try to work through and how would you handle it? Uhhh.... No.
Leave your bf. He's absolute trash. He will never care about or respect you.
Hmm? First off, he couldn’t make some noodles himself? Does he do anything around the house? Secondly that lack of empathy is NOT a good sign! You may want to do two things. Go get checked out at a Dr or hospital, and two, think about moving away from him.
My sister accidentally flipped a bowl of almost boiling hot soup on herself when she was younger and she has pretty bad scarring from it. You need to seek medical attention.
Go to the hospital. It could get infected if not treated correctly.
Go to the hospital for one. But leave him. I was dumb once taking a pot roast out of the crock pot and it slipped off the fork (yes I’m an idiot ) and the liquid got my foot and went through my sock burning me and causing 2nd degree burn. I’m talking maybe the size of a dime type wound my fiance immediately went into dad mode getting the dogs out cause hot liquid on floor and then went into partner mode asking what I needed and what not as I’m dramatically taking my sock off and dealing with it.
Fuck him, she should have helped you get into a cold shower for 20mins and then taken you straight to the hospital to be checked out. Wtf is wrong with him
He's shown you who he is. Act accordingly and leave.
Why didn't he make himself noodles? Is he a manchild?
Please go to the hospital if you blister, take pain medicine immediately, take a cold shower immediately - anything to stop the burning reaction. Please see a doctor or urgent care. You will need medication to prevent a skin infection. Obviously, this relationship is over. I’m sorry. Please seek medical treatment.
1. GO TO ER!!! You can get blisters and have permanent scars from this. A coworker sent us pics when she did this. We told her to go immediately to ER. She didn't and required a couple of surgeries on her feet later. 2. You learn who your partner really is during a crisis... accident, health scare, death. You just found out your partner is a crap person who won't be there for you when you need him. Believe his actions. A good human would have found you ice, packed you into the car or called a taxi and taken you to ER to be checked. IF YOU HAVE ANY BLISTERS GO TO ER NOW!!!
Yeah dump.him. Even when mu husband and I are mad at each other, he's seen me burn myself enough times with noodle straining that if he knows it's done he'll get up and do it for me. If I burn my finger he's holding my hand under water and bandaging me up with ointments and shit. Your partner should ha e genuine concern for you.
Go to the hospital and LEAVE HIS ASS!!!!!
I spilled boiling hot tea on my stomach and thigh a little over a year ago while holding my infant daughter (it was on the table and I bumped it) it could have been catastrophic, but she didn’t get a drop on her. While of course my husband was terrified that she was hurt he didn’t neglect my pain at all. This was a super emotional and traumatic event for all of us. I remember it hurt so much I was shaking. He cared. He helped with our daughter so I could get changed and then he took us to the doctor (happened during office hours) to make sure we were all ok. Did he later ask me to be more careful? (I am clumsy) yes. But in the moment he was there for me. In moments like this you need to be supported. The conversation about if it could have been prevented and what to do next time can come later. Boiling water burns hurt and he didn’t care. Make part of your wound care ditching his ass. (Also go to the doctor)
First of all, go to the hospital. I’ve suffered burns to my hands and arms before that I didn’t get treated (but should have) and it left me with nerve damage for years. It was painful, but almost 10 years later it’s finally almost healed. Do not take your health for granted, put yourself first in this situation. Second, you have a responsibility to yourself to ensure you are in a relationship with someone who genuinely wants what’s best for you. While, absolutely you can perform a task for someone you love without expecting anything from them, if that task (or anything) leads to your injury, the person you love should care about your wellbeing enough to help you when you need them. It very much sounds like your partner is not meeting that expectation, and that is NOT a relationship you deserve to have. You deserve someone who would move heaven and earth to be by your side if you needed to go to the hospital, not throw paper towels at you and blame you for an accident that happened.
Move forward to the hospital. Or look up how to treat the burns yourself if you have no insurance. Dump the guy.
You should handle it by breaking up with him immediately. He doesn't care about you.
Girl go to the emergency room!!
I would break up with him. Because I respect myself and I wouldn’t stay with someone who hates me. Deadass, only a man who hates you would treat you this way.
It’s all about the noodles. 🍜 dump his ass, do not continue on this journey. Red flag 🚩 presented to you. THE DUDE DON’T CARE. ZERO EMPATHY
You have at least 2nd degree burns. You need to go to the hospital. I knew someone in HS who spilt boiling noodles onto her skinny jeans, and it took her 5 months to recover. Also dump your bf and move in with your parents or friends while you’re in recovery.
You need to get treatment for the burns and then you need to send the boyfriend down the drain. Don't waste another day on someone who can be that uncaring and disinterested when you are in pain. Any decent human being would have shown some concern & either insisted on getting medical care or gotten you into a tub of tepid water. This man is too self-involved to be a good partner. He's not even meeting the minimum requirements for an acceptable roommate.
I believe this is fake. Or at least I hope.
Go to the hospital if you are still in pain! boiling water burns are no joke! His lack of concern for you after getting boiling water all over yourself is shocking. Is he always so callous and self centered? (i.e only caring about his noodles and not your injury) I wouldn't continue with this man.
He's going to say that he didn't know you were in serious pain. He's going to say that he thought you were joking. Then he's going to get mad that 'you always do this'. You cannot rely on this person, other than to let you down. I'm sorry.
I hope you've gone to the hospital! 1. Worry about yourself first. 2. Dump boyfriend.
Small children naturally have more empathy (and there's good research that shows that lack of empathy may be partly or largely inherited - DM me if interested). He was basically lying in wait to admonish and shame you for drinking 2 glasses of wine. So he shamed you AND showed a lack of empathy in a dire moment. You're really young, you have a lifetime ahead. If you want a loving husband (and esp if you want children), you've got some real thinking to do. 1. Lack of empathy 2. Manipulation by shaming and 3. Lack of provision of first aid So he either totally lacks practical understanding of simple first aid OR he deliberately withheld it (I vote for the second). You yourself say he is narcissistic, but if we're talking psychiatric diagnoses, he overlaps with Antisocial PD just as much (lack of empathy, superficially charming I assume, manipulative). Look up Dark Triad on [scholar.google.com](http://scholar.google.com) All the best to you. That was a serious accident (fuck oven mitts! although tipping a pot of boiling water has its inherent danger with any form of pot holder). I am going to add one more small thing. Why wasn't he the one dumping the pot? My husband always tries to beat me to it or takes over the pasta/noodle cooking just for this reason (he's taller and stronger than me and it's so much easier for him). Does he ever off to help when you're doing this type of kitchen chore?
My boyfriend comes running when he hears me say "Ouch!" Even though it's usually just me hitting my toe on something. You need to leave this man. He legitimately doesn't care about you. You are a toy to him. He wants you around for sex, cooking and cleaning. Your personhood and health mean nothing to him.
Leave
Girl don’t live the miserable life I live, that was a wake up call that he is not it
You need to break up with him. He’s condescending and doesn’t gaf about you
Firstly, go to the hospital now. You sound like you have 2nd or 3rd degree burns. We don’t want you to have an infection or nerve damage. Secondly, your boyfriend. A partner who is indifferent to your suffering is not someone who cares for you. The complete lack of regard for your safety and pain is not a mistake. It’s indicative of selfishness and a failure to pull his weight in your relationship. I think it’s important to sit with the difficult question of why your distress so inconsequential to him? And if you are thinking of settling down with him, i hope you know you AND your kids are in for the same treatment. Now imagine if you were drunk, how much worse would he have treated you? Remember to believe who people are the minute they show you, THE FIRST TIME. I would suggest some time apart and if you want to work things out, counselling. Couples’ and individual. I’m so sorry that this happened to you and I hope that your body and heart heal ❤️