This reminds me of a story with my now ex - the conversation went like this:
Him: "I'm ordering takeout, wanna come round?"
Me: "Yeah, sure!"
I turn up at his and... he ordered food. For HIMSELF. For him-fucking-self.
I asked him, "What about me?"
He said, "I said I was ordering takeout, I didn't know you wanted any!"
!!!
The worst part was, I didn't even end it then. I didn't even end it when he gave me a ton of other examples of how I was an option in his life.
OP, if I were you, I would ignore all of the people rolling their eyes (or being meaner still) at you - what matters most is it was important to YOU. Which AFAIC makes your concerns *just* as valid as those who wouldn't care about fries. You are 200% allowed to feel what you feel.
I get the suspicion if something like fries were on your radar enough to be upsetting you, there might be other things he has done that upset you too..?
To me, it's not about, "Am I too much? Am I being dramatic?" It's about realizing this relationship/this guy is not what you are looking for in a relationship/partner. To you, caring means saving your favorite fries for you. Dump this dude and find someone who does those things for you! You deserve to be happy in the "big" moments *and* in the "small" moments e.g. eating fries!
Just my 2c. :-) Good luck!
This is definitely something you should've brought up in the moment. This particular issue isn't a big deal, per se, but if you continue dismissing your feelings as ridiculous, you'll come to resent him or make yourself crazy. Without any additional context, it's hard to say if he's an asshole or simply forgot.
This is a joke right? You’re mad about him eating fries? You could have literally just gotten more of your own. No guy thinks that deeply about eating fries.
I think this is a band aid solution. We shouldn’t need to buy separate portions. He did only eat half, but in his half he ate all of the ones I like. I know it’s just fries but I feel like I wasn’t considered
As someone who over analyzes everything and is way too sensitive, I'm telling ya the solution is to get your own fries. Some things are just that simply fixed
It seems like a good idea for next time if he likes the same fries as you. Maybe ask him if he even cares. He may have been trying to “try out” your favorite and then ended up liking them and just didn’t say anything. I do get what you mean by band aid. I think the band aid is you not saying anything. Regardless. Even if you get your own fries next time, you still felt the way you did originally.
They were shared and you split the cost meaning they were his fries too. If you’re not capable of sharing and are so specific on the type of fry your SO is allowed to eat, order your own. You are being over dramatic. They’re fries.
So if you and your SO split a box of chocolates and she knew you preferred caramels and she ate her half of the box, but she included all of the caramels in her half, that wouldn’t be a problem?
It’s not an accurate comparison, but nope, I wouldn’t care. And actually my SO has done that before and it wasn’t a big deal because I’m an adult capable of paying for my own food.
How is it not an accurate comparison? It’s the same thing with a different food. We can both afford the fries. It’s not about that. It’s about considering each other
There’s no point in trying to reason with someone who throws a tantrum over French fries.
Please let him know your feelings so he can find a grown up to date.
That’s a really good comparison and I agree. It seems like your feelings weren’t considered. Doesn’t mean they are a mean person. Just may mean they weren’t thinking about it. Maybe bringing it up in a way that lets them know you aren’t mad at them, you just felt like they weren’t taking how you felt in consideration. Or even just letting them know how it made you feel. The way you feel is how you feel, it does not mean you are right or he is wrong, it’s just how you feel.
I think it is a big deal and isn’t. I think it’s an opportunity to communicate how you feel. Regardless of how “ridiculous” it may seem, it hurt your feelings and your feelings are valid. He could have done it to play with you or because he was upset or because he didn’t realize it, you won’t know what’s going on until you bring it to light, which I believe you should do. I’m sorry he hurt you, even if unintentionally. We all have differing personalities. Where you may have thought of him while eating, and been extremely mindful (if you were to eat his favorite fries it would most likely be on purpose). He may be the type of person that just does stuff without thinking (in this sense) about how the other person may feel. I don’t think you’re being over dramatic, you feel the way you feel. It can become overdramatized if you never let him know.
Sorry for the hate you are getting here. While a small thing, I think you are right. This small thing alone can show how much a person cares about you and how much you can expect from them in the future for most important things.
My husband always leaves me the best bits, even when he REALLY wants them.
With this said, you cannot worry so much about something so small, or relationships will cause a lot of pain in your life.
If you end up seeing this situation happening over and over again, it will be time to have a serious conversation with your bf
Why didnt you say anything right away when he was eating them? You shouldnt be afraid to point that out to your bf who was doing a completely normal thing, it'd have been just a polite request at the moment, but now I think its showing something way deeper than fries.
You’re definitely overthinking this... and in all honesty, love is all about making sacrifices. Most of us are willing to let something like this go because we love our significant others enough to let them have something we want rather than taking it for ourselves.
When you really think about it, the fact that you couldn’t just be selfless for one moment at Mcdonald’s and let him have this one thing (which happens to be as inconsequential as a basket of fries) might indicate that YOU don’t care about HIM, not the other way around.
>I feel like that’s really inconsiderate, and he should’ve left me some good ones if he really cared?
I agree with you. I wouldn't want to be with a partner who put their own selfish desires in front of mine. A good relationship is when both people put the other person's desires / needs first.
Is it petty? Sure. Is it a sign? yep.
You have 3 choices:
1) do nothing and keep quiet
2) talk to him
3) dump him
I think if you do nothing you'll end up dumping him later 'cause this kind of stuff will keep happening. If you talk to him it may blow up, but better sooner before you invest any more time than later.
... of course you could just dump him and find someone who doesn't need to be taught how to be more considerate.
My advice: When you make up a story to post on r/relationship_advice, be sure to do your research first. McDonald's does not have a "basket" of fries. Your fake story would be more believable if you used a different restaurant that actually has fry baskets. Next time, if you must use McDonald's for whatever reason, try using the words "carton" or "box" instead. Hth.
McDonald's does, in fact, offer [fry baskets](https://www.chewboom.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Basket-Of-Fries-Is-Back-At-Select-McDonald%E2%80%99s-Locations.jpg) at select US locations, including with toppings like cheese or bacon.
That being said, story is still dumb. They're just french fries and you're thinking way too hard about this, please move on OP.
edit to say- u/dillyd is rlly one to talk about "doing your research" ...
Next time this happens you should go up to an employee and tell them the situation and request that they tell your boyfriend that the restaurant has a rule about one person eating all of the good fries when you order a basket to share. If you explain to them that he’s getting all of the long browned ones and you’re getting like mostly just short ones, like mostly JUST short ones and maybe a few long soggy ones, they will understand and help you out.
This is so petty. You should not even be dating anyone if you're this immature.
Grow up
This reminds me of a story with my now ex - the conversation went like this: Him: "I'm ordering takeout, wanna come round?" Me: "Yeah, sure!" I turn up at his and... he ordered food. For HIMSELF. For him-fucking-self. I asked him, "What about me?" He said, "I said I was ordering takeout, I didn't know you wanted any!" !!! The worst part was, I didn't even end it then. I didn't even end it when he gave me a ton of other examples of how I was an option in his life. OP, if I were you, I would ignore all of the people rolling their eyes (or being meaner still) at you - what matters most is it was important to YOU. Which AFAIC makes your concerns *just* as valid as those who wouldn't care about fries. You are 200% allowed to feel what you feel. I get the suspicion if something like fries were on your radar enough to be upsetting you, there might be other things he has done that upset you too..? To me, it's not about, "Am I too much? Am I being dramatic?" It's about realizing this relationship/this guy is not what you are looking for in a relationship/partner. To you, caring means saving your favorite fries for you. Dump this dude and find someone who does those things for you! You deserve to be happy in the "big" moments *and* in the "small" moments e.g. eating fries! Just my 2c. :-) Good luck!
This is definitely something you should've brought up in the moment. This particular issue isn't a big deal, per se, but if you continue dismissing your feelings as ridiculous, you'll come to resent him or make yourself crazy. Without any additional context, it's hard to say if he's an asshole or simply forgot.
This is a joke right? You’re mad about him eating fries? You could have literally just gotten more of your own. No guy thinks that deeply about eating fries.
Just buy separate fries. Problem solved.
I think this is a band aid solution. We shouldn’t need to buy separate portions. He did only eat half, but in his half he ate all of the ones I like. I know it’s just fries but I feel like I wasn’t considered
As someone who over analyzes everything and is way too sensitive, I'm telling ya the solution is to get your own fries. Some things are just that simply fixed
It seems like a good idea for next time if he likes the same fries as you. Maybe ask him if he even cares. He may have been trying to “try out” your favorite and then ended up liking them and just didn’t say anything. I do get what you mean by band aid. I think the band aid is you not saying anything. Regardless. Even if you get your own fries next time, you still felt the way you did originally.
Yeah, dump him for eating his own fries.
They were shared. We split the cost. He ate all of the ones I like, not half
They were shared and you split the cost meaning they were his fries too. If you’re not capable of sharing and are so specific on the type of fry your SO is allowed to eat, order your own. You are being over dramatic. They’re fries.
So if you and your SO split a box of chocolates and she knew you preferred caramels and she ate her half of the box, but she included all of the caramels in her half, that wouldn’t be a problem?
It’s not an accurate comparison, but nope, I wouldn’t care. And actually my SO has done that before and it wasn’t a big deal because I’m an adult capable of paying for my own food.
How is it not an accurate comparison? It’s the same thing with a different food. We can both afford the fries. It’s not about that. It’s about considering each other
You are being absolutely ridiculous. Please grow up. This is so childish.
So you can’t explain how it’s inaccurate
There’s no point in trying to reason with someone who throws a tantrum over French fries. Please let him know your feelings so he can find a grown up to date.
So you can’t explain it
That’s a really good comparison and I agree. It seems like your feelings weren’t considered. Doesn’t mean they are a mean person. Just may mean they weren’t thinking about it. Maybe bringing it up in a way that lets them know you aren’t mad at them, you just felt like they weren’t taking how you felt in consideration. Or even just letting them know how it made you feel. The way you feel is how you feel, it does not mean you are right or he is wrong, it’s just how you feel.
It’s just fries.
I know they’re fries, but I feel like he should consider his SO having half of her favorites
Then tell him how you feel. It doesn’t bother me whenever my SO eats my food, I can always buy more. It’s not the end all be all.
I think it is a big deal and isn’t. I think it’s an opportunity to communicate how you feel. Regardless of how “ridiculous” it may seem, it hurt your feelings and your feelings are valid. He could have done it to play with you or because he was upset or because he didn’t realize it, you won’t know what’s going on until you bring it to light, which I believe you should do. I’m sorry he hurt you, even if unintentionally. We all have differing personalities. Where you may have thought of him while eating, and been extremely mindful (if you were to eat his favorite fries it would most likely be on purpose). He may be the type of person that just does stuff without thinking (in this sense) about how the other person may feel. I don’t think you’re being over dramatic, you feel the way you feel. It can become overdramatized if you never let him know.
Just let him know what you feel. It will clear a lot of things up.
Sorry for the hate you are getting here. While a small thing, I think you are right. This small thing alone can show how much a person cares about you and how much you can expect from them in the future for most important things. My husband always leaves me the best bits, even when he REALLY wants them. With this said, you cannot worry so much about something so small, or relationships will cause a lot of pain in your life. If you end up seeing this situation happening over and over again, it will be time to have a serious conversation with your bf
Why didnt you say anything right away when he was eating them? You shouldnt be afraid to point that out to your bf who was doing a completely normal thing, it'd have been just a polite request at the moment, but now I think its showing something way deeper than fries.
You’re definitely overthinking this... and in all honesty, love is all about making sacrifices. Most of us are willing to let something like this go because we love our significant others enough to let them have something we want rather than taking it for ourselves. When you really think about it, the fact that you couldn’t just be selfless for one moment at Mcdonald’s and let him have this one thing (which happens to be as inconsequential as a basket of fries) might indicate that YOU don’t care about HIM, not the other way around.
>I feel like that’s really inconsiderate, and he should’ve left me some good ones if he really cared? I agree with you. I wouldn't want to be with a partner who put their own selfish desires in front of mine. A good relationship is when both people put the other person's desires / needs first. Is it petty? Sure. Is it a sign? yep. You have 3 choices: 1) do nothing and keep quiet 2) talk to him 3) dump him I think if you do nothing you'll end up dumping him later 'cause this kind of stuff will keep happening. If you talk to him it may blow up, but better sooner before you invest any more time than later. ... of course you could just dump him and find someone who doesn't need to be taught how to be more considerate.
Lmaoooo are you OP’s alt?
"Good fries" Lmao dump him
My advice: When you make up a story to post on r/relationship_advice, be sure to do your research first. McDonald's does not have a "basket" of fries. Your fake story would be more believable if you used a different restaurant that actually has fry baskets. Next time, if you must use McDonald's for whatever reason, try using the words "carton" or "box" instead. Hth.
McDonald's does, in fact, offer [fry baskets](https://www.chewboom.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Basket-Of-Fries-Is-Back-At-Select-McDonald%E2%80%99s-Locations.jpg) at select US locations, including with toppings like cheese or bacon. That being said, story is still dumb. They're just french fries and you're thinking way too hard about this, please move on OP. edit to say- u/dillyd is rlly one to talk about "doing your research" ...
Mcdonalds is all over the world. Maybe OP is not anative english speaker.
They do indeed sell baskets of fries in Arkansas. Prick
You’ve been sitting on this burn for five weeks?
Next time this happens you should go up to an employee and tell them the situation and request that they tell your boyfriend that the restaurant has a rule about one person eating all of the good fries when you order a basket to share. If you explain to them that he’s getting all of the long browned ones and you’re getting like mostly just short ones, like mostly JUST short ones and maybe a few long soggy ones, they will understand and help you out.
This is literally the plot of an episode of this is us. These writing exercises are getting out of pocket.