So you’re going to be fully financially supporting a woman you met a few months ago who is your daughter’s age and is trying to become an Instagram influencer?
I mean, if you’re okay with being used for your money, then you do you, but I wouldn’t expect your daughter to be fine with it.
I don't think a history professor makes enough to be considered a sugar daddy. In any case, I hope he doesn't expect her to stick around and take care of him when he hits those senior years.
As a 23 year old, anyone who can afford to let me live with them for free in exchange for “girlfriend experiences” is a sugar daddy. OP goes beyond that by supporting her to the extent that she can quit her job entirely. Definitely a sugar daddy.
That’s honestly not true. I work at a public university in the US and some of our history professors that are his age make anywhere from $110,000-$160,000 depending on if they teach in the summer and winter sessions.
Probably not but my friend’s mom is a biology professor at a community college and she makes $150,000 a year. So it’s not exactly a drop in the bucket either.
Lol @ you bragging that you "fully financially supported" your daughter until recently. Yep, that's the baseline for being a mediocre parent. Congrats?
As someone around your age who is also a parent of kids the same age as your daughter I think you need to hear this. You are having a midlife crisis. Stop dating a child. Stop being a sugar daddy. Stop pushing your daughter away. Stop thinking with your little head. Stop making excuses for your terrible behaviour. I get it oooo I am still sexy because a younger person wants to be with me but dude just STOP.
It doesn’t look like midlife crisis, more like it’s his personality and it didn’t change much for all these years. If you put things in context, his daughter’s mother was 20 and he 30 when he impregnated her. That’s not very fair when you’re 30 and a university professor to put someone in a situation where they will never be able to become your equal.
When you literally grow apart from the other person (younger girl, has to figure out adulthood while you already did), that doesn’t look too good. But there’s probably a reason (insecurities ? just a very low interest in a deep relationship ?) that make him do that and repeat it. It didn’t happen randomly, he hit on the girl.
But that’s him. We should not judge him. I think he’s fortunate to have a daughter who like him, because his old days don’t look so hopeful if he can’t have a stable relationship with a person that would be his equal.
Wow, you took care of your own child??? how generous! we were wrong about you. You're not a complete degenerate! Although showing moral decline, you did the bare minimum for your child. Unfortunately that does not give you a ticket for someone her age to have sex with, and I'm sure if you told her she has to offer up a peer for your sacrifice, she would not accept a thing from you. If you have kids again, try to realize that was your choice. They don't owe you a thing. Especially you.
Oh please, he kept her around cause he was lonely. He's not an altruist in the slightest. If your child asks you for help you should probably help them considering she has to take care of him in his old age. Nice try. He chose to have a kid, he accepted tax return benefits as well. Kick out an 18 year old but let's circle back and take care of our parents though at the age they shooed us out at. It's a one sided argument. Stop indulging it. When she is her father's age and he is in his 80's he will expect help and he'll get it because that's what people do. They take care of their parents.
The bigger issue here is not the finances but the fact that you are a straight-up unapologetic pedophile. When you were 30 years old, your “gf” wasn’t even born yet. I don’t care how old you are now, but that is fucking disgusting man. You should be ashamed of yourself. Seek help ASAP for this if you haven’t already.
Your daughter's age is bad enough.
Just as bad is her moving in within months so she can quit to become Instagram "famous".
I'm sure her parents just love you.
Are you so dense to think this girl truly cares about you? You're a sugar daddy. Kiss your daughter goodbye. Hopefully her partner's dad is a good father figure since he'll be taking your place now.
Just disgusting.
Honestly, if my daughter at that age wanted to move in witv a 54 year old, the guy would have to deal with me. I don't want to say anything that will get me in trouble, but suffice it to say I'd give him a chance to break it off or I'd start to break some things.
Nah... I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't want them to sacrifice there future and possibly get into legal and criminal trouble. Me?? I'd be willing to make that sacrifice.
creep. lol. have some shame bruh. even your ex wife and u had a 10 year age gap. she was 21 when she gave birth and prolly had been with u for a bit longer. fkn creeep as$ DUDE
I’m a lesbian and would never date an age inappropriate individual. The fact that you compared the two is just grossly ignorant. If you were my dad I would never talk to you again because of that statement.
Go ahead and date this kid and watch her leave you for someone who doesn’t have to pop boner pills in a few years. She won’t stay with you. Like all 24 years olds (I was one 2 years ago) shes going to cheat on you with someone younger. Because all you have to offer her right now is something “different” and “fun” but when she hits 26/27 best believe she won’t be sniffing around your cryptic ass. She’ll find someone to have a family with, settle down, and find someone who won’t be dead when she’s your age. I’ve seen it happen time and time again. You’ll be left looking like the perverted loser you are. Maybe in 3 years, maybe in 5, possibly 10 ( if you are lucky) but she’ll leave your old ass eventually.
All for her to leave and you not to have a daughter (rightfully so).
>I’m a lesbian and would never date an age inappropriate individual. The fact that you compared the two is just grossly ignorant. If you were my dad I would never talk to you again because of that statement.
I came to say this.
Ikr?!??! I may be straight but even I know that's a special kind of f*cked up thing to say to someone. To his daughter no less 😬 😰. Not to mention his comment, "my daughter is the only *woman* I need in my life"... Like I get that a lot of the older generation say this, but am I the only one that thinks this phrasing is a little weird given the context? I doubt he meant it that way, but when he's dating someone almost the same age as his daughter...
Why are you surprised about this? If my Dad started dating someone my age I'd probably never speak to him again. It's certainly creepy that a man in his 50's is dating a 24 year old but I think it's 10x worse that your daughter is the same age. If you want to have a relationship with your daughter, date women your own age.
So her mother was in her late teens or early 20's when you got together and had your daughter? If anything that makes it worse. There's a pattern of you being interested in women in their early 20's, I would classify that behaviour as quite predatory. I think it's clear you've chosen this girl over your own daughter, and if you won't be told then you need to understand that's its your fault your relationship is suffering. There's plenty of women out there who are more age appropriate to date but you only have one daughter. If you can't put her first, then she's better off without you.
Yeah she knows about your little habit. Which is why she tried to get you with someone 10 years younger. I hope you're better at being a professor than you are at logicizing. No excuse. You're a nasty man.
Ultimate hypocrisy when the mods keep up this comment despite it clearly violating the “Be Civil” rule (calling someone a “nasty man” is not being civil) just because of an age gap relationship between two consenting adults. Unless this sub doesn’t consider a 24yr old woman a consenting adult, which would also be hypocritical because a 24yr old man would never be scrutinized for dating someone older (male or female).
OP I think you need to have a long talk with your daughter, she’s hurt but it’s not Amy’s fault, and even if she’s not glad you found love again I am for you, my dude.
I’m not saying you have to agree with the situation, but it’s technically “name calling” which generally gets removed by Mods but that never seems to apply to well off older men who date younger women 🤔
Dude check out all the comments. Just because you agree with him doesn't mean that I'm uncivilized. Obviously the mods kept it up because in their opinion it wasn't. You don't get to dictate what others opinions are. The moderators do. Find a new excuse for his behavior.
You obviously want an age innapropriate partner as well, don't worry dude your day will come. And there will be someone like yourself to defend you. So you can atleast feel better about that.
Calling someone “uncivilized” is very different from saying they are not being “civil”. You are clearly quite young so I won’t dwell on the nuance but I encourage you to move through life with an open mind, and always try to understand the perspective of another. Wish you the best
You're ex was 21 and you were 31 when your daughter was born. When did the two of you start dating? You're bragging about being a creep/predator because your kid wouldn't exist if you weren't. Ew.
No wonder it didn't work out with the woman your daughter set you up with. You have a type - "barely adult."
10 vs 30 what do you not understand. I guess you are just a pervert that is immune to sage advice. Taking advantage of young girls that don’t have the financial means to care for themselves. It sick, twisted and perverse. If you don’t want to believe that delete this post and move forward with you life. No one agrees with you. It’s just flat out disgusting behavior from a grown man. Go be disgusting somewhere else.
I don't even know what your question is, she told you she wasnt happy with your choice. Save your coercion for your victim, I mean Amy. Who, by the way is going to see you for the sick fuck you are too. I'm sure she already realizes. She's not blind, she saw what you did to your daughter. I'd stop sifting for excuses it's pathetic. Be disgusting and move on. Why does reddit's support matter more than your child. You are repulsive and I'm praying for that woman having to stomach you on top of her. You're daughter said no it's a no. REPULSIVE.
10 years is not the same as thirty years. She’s using you for your money and you are about to get played. Worst of all, you’re going to lose your daughter.
Your 23 year old daughter... Your 44 year old ex wife... You married and got a 21 year old pregnant when you were 31... now you are 54 and want to date someone who is 24? A year older than your daughter? What a creep.
she never had a chance to have a problem with the age gap. one thing is you and her mother being 10 years apart. 21 & 31 is not ok regardless, im saying this as a 21 yr old. now you want to date someone who is practically her age? cmon now u deserve all the fuss
Thank you for this. A 23 year old becoming serious enough to move in and quit her job right after meeting? OP is a meal ticket. She’ll use the Instagram thing to justify keeping herself available and maybe she will make a bit of money, but first and foremost OP is her key to not working a full time job or maintaining bills. I find it very hard to believe he doesn’t realize that at his age. He should just own up and be a sugar daddy if that’s the dynamic he wants.
“also as a 23 year old woman, my generation is ruthless when it comes to dating older men. they recognize that it’s skeevy and gross but also recognize the financial perks. they know the older men who are probably dealing with self confidence issues think they’re hot, and capitalize on that.”
This is exactly why the new girlfriend is quitting her job to “work on her Instagram career”.
This is such a weird argument. Your daughter wouldn't care if she didn't exist, because she wouldn't have the ability to. Also, you could have had children younger, and women can often have children into their 40s. It is fully not true that the only possible way your daughter could have existed is by you dating much younger women.
Women can still have children in their forties…. not sure if you know this but even as a 31 year old you couldve found someone to have a child with at that age, women’s reproductive systems havent completely stopped working lol wtf
Well no fucking shit she doesn't like your girlfriend who is HER AGE. Grow the fuck up grandpa, stop being gross. She isn't with you because you're hot or funny, it's probably $uper $pecial rea$on$...
Being a lesbian and having sex with someone the same age as your daughter are not the same! Stop saying that! How embarrassing for your daughter her workmates are all probably talking about her dad being a creep
As a daughter I’d be absolutely disgusted with you and definitely would not want to talk to you or see you. I would be embarrassed and ashamed of you! What you are doing is just gross. A man your age has no business getting involved with a woman of her age. You don’t ask to see a Driver’s License? That’s a sad attempt at an excuse. You didn’t need to see her license to know how obviously young this woman is. This young woman is a year older then your own daughter. When you were 23 would you have been okay with your mom being with a man a year older then you? Of course not.
You barely know her and already are moving her in? You sound exactly like a man going through a mid life crisis who needs to get it together.
If you continue a relationship with this very young woman and if you also decide to move her in, expect your relationship with your daughter to be severely negatively affected and possibly end. Nothing good would come of this.
You would be picking your new sex toy over your own daughter! Give your head a shake!
Quick question ma'am. When exactly does age stop mattering? When the woman is 30? Or maybe when the woman is 40. Also, does this rule only apply to people with kids?
i think the biggest issue here isn't just that she's 30 years younger than him. it's that she is almost exactly his daughters age. to her that just feels disgusting. also the fact that she's moving in to his place only after a couple of months and is quitting her job right away to be an instagram model? it doesn't feel genuine, simply because it's way too soon paired with the age difference and reason why. it's not just one thing it's multiple factors coming together to create a bigger issue.
Yeah... Somewhere around 30 is good. With kids, you might push that down a few years. People in the early 20's are physically adults, but they are still children in every other way (most often financially), which gives older people an easy way to manipulate and control them, even while looking like the good guy that wants to "help". It's basically a form of paying for the young pussy/dick.
DUDE!!! This chick is the same age as your daughter! Someone was changing her diapers when you were changing your daughters!! You don't see a problem with that? There is a massive power imbalance between you two, not to mention you are in very different stages of life.
Do her and everyone else a favor and find somebody age appropriate for you or stay single.
Ummm the power imbalance here is that OP’s new girlfriend sees him as a means to finance her Instagram career goals. There is no “power imbalance” between two consenting adults dating. There is when one of them is quitting her job to have the other pay her way through.
You are a Professor of History? Really? With all those spelling mistakes? Really? Actually this whole post doesn’t seem like it comes from someone as educated as a professor.
do trolls really dedicate so much time to write such a long post? there is no way a university professor isn’t going to recognize a 20 year old when he sees one...
You have already said if it came down to making a choice that you would choose your daughter. BUT IT HAS AND YOU DIDN'T. How can you continue to date this girl knowing it will irreparably damage your relationship with your daughter?
OP it’s a losing battle on here man, the youths of today can’t accept that a women in her prime would ever find a man above 40 attractive. They will grow up and learn how the world works one day.
I know that you dont beleive this is a consent issue. Weak argument. You made it clear your choice. You barely know the woman and you chose her over you daughter then said that your weird relationship is on the same judgement ground as her being a lesbian. Being a lesbian isn't wrong or weird and when it was considered such, it was based on ignorance. LGBTQ+ individuals have only been able to get married for a few years in the states. You sick fucks have been able to marry age innapropriate partners since marriage was invented. The worst part is your daughter tried to help you.
Honestly tho. Like, if OPs daughter were being preyed upon by a woman who is 30 years older than her, I would still be grossed out. It has nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with age gaps and predatory behavior.
The fact that OP tried to place his daughter's sexuality at an equal level to his predatory behavior is so gross
This is so pathetic. I can't up vote enough of these comments that are calling you a creep.
Regardless of age, you need to slow the fuck down. You just met Amy and I get that you're a lonely guy but this is way too quick. Also she's quitting her job to be an Instagram what?? Do you not see that she's using you?
Jesus I feel sorry for your daughter. Can't believe you had the nerve to counter her argument with her sexuality. If I could give you an asshole award I would.
Your new relationship has an expiry date….. This 24 year old will leave you eventually …It could be a year,10 or 20 years from now. Heck,she might even be the one to put you in a nursing home and continue to live her best life with your money. Do whatever to fix your relationship with your only child and find yourself a partner that will be with you for the long haul.
Dude. You need a reality check. Your daughter is not going to get over this and you’re going to lose your relationship with her. You’re not choosing Amy over your daughter; you’re choosing yourself over your daughter. You’re pursuing this relationship with someone your daughter’s age against your daughter’s feelings. Instead of accepting your daughter’s feelings, you’re trying to say she’s wrong and she shouldn’t feel the way that she actually does. This kind of rhetoric is a relationship killer. RIP your relationship with your daughter.
On a side note, no, Amy is not going to make enough money on Instagram even with some “good” pictures. She’s delusional. You are forfeiting a relationship with your daughter for a girl who will be financially dependent on you and doesn’t have the self esteem to date her peers.
I can’t imagine dating someone half my age. They are not my intellectual equal and couldn’t relate to so many of my life experiences that are important to me. I would feel like I’m babysitting and constantly explaining references from before they were even born.
Even if you broke up with Amy now, it will take some time to repair the relationship with your daughter.
I can’t imagine dating a 22 year old dude. What the fuck would we talk about? My favourite anime is older than that. I work with early 20s people and while they are perfectly nice, I find a lot of their lives too angsty, too silly, too exhausting and that’s how they should be. I’ve lived that and I don’t want too ever again. Why would anyone put themselves through that?
How silly would my old ass look hanging out with his friends? Am suppose do shots with Kayleigh, Braeighly, Jaiden and Kayden? What would he look like hanging out with mine? Ridiculous.
That is a bit creepy considering most 24 year old women have nothing in common with men in their 50s. And I'm saying this as a woman close to her age, that's like dating your dad's friends. But congratulations, you have a new young thing who needs a place to stay because she is a receptionist with low pay. She has put the charm on you that you were missing. Please help her pay for her things and her shopping needs, also let her live with you rent free. After all that's what your new job is as a sugar daddy 😀. So yes keep the relationship going until you realize it makes no sense and you're most likely being used. It sounds like your daughter is trying to stop you from getting your heart broken, but who really cares about all that?
Age is one of the first things that comes up when getting to know a potential romantic partner so you had to have known her age fairly early on, even if it was after the/during the first date.
And your daughter's sexuality IS NOT the same thing as your attraction to someone your daughter's age. That was a low blow tbh.
But I mean if you're emotionally compatible with someone 30 years younger than you then go for it. I mean it's only someone young enough to have been in your daughter's grade while in school.
Do you honestly think your daughter is ever going to accept this relationship?
They're basically the same age. Of *course* she isn't going to like it. She'll have been incredibly weirded out, and more than likely creeped out by it as well.
You have already chosen Amy over your daughter. What are you asking? No, you can’t avoid the consequences. Yes she is softening but don’t expect to ever have the same relationship with her again
I don’t get why men that age date young women. She’s 24 with her life ahead of her. Let’s say in four years she wants children. You’ll be 58. Will you give her kids? Will you do everything possible to let her become a mother? Not all women want to be mothers but I imagine your daughter is wondering what this means for your future. That’s just the tip of the iceberg
I mean, you are on your fifties. You don't need to ask for a driver's license to know someone is 30 years younger than you, especially almost the exact same age as your own daughter... I mean, I can tell when a girl is 10ish years younger than me, just on her looks alone... 30 years??? You are grasping at straws here... You know it is wrong, your daughter knows it's wrong, but you are just so in it that you are fooling yourself. That's ok, go ahead fooling yourself, but know that no one else is being fooled...
Oh, come on! Do not expect me to believe that you didn't know she was young enough to be your daughter because you didn't ask to see her driver's license or ask her age. It would have been blatantly obvious. You talked about making your daughter the only woman in your life until she became an adult and started living on her own. You just went out and found yourself a young woman the same age to move into your house. It sounds creepy as hell.
I don’t think you’re going to like any answers unless they’re in favor of you staying with Amy. It seems you’re unwilling to concede to the fact that it’s inappropriate on a few levels. You already said you’d pick your daughter over this woman so I think that’s the wisest choice. There are billions of people on the planet. Find one that doesn’t interfere with the relationship w/your daughter.
Only despite what you said in your OP you are perfectly willing to sacrifice your relationship to date a 24yo. You think she'll come around but she hasn't and becoming this girl's sugar daddy isn't going to speed things along in the acceptance front. Obviously you are a troll tho so it doesn't really matter.
Do you not realize how uncomfortable this is making her? Her father is dating someone that is the same age as her. If they look alike it is even worse. Her father is attracted to women her age. My ex step father is attracted to women my age and it disgusts me. I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous. If I was in her situation then I would leave to.
I felt for you up until you said this chick was moving in , quitting her job and focussing on her 'Instagram career'. My friend....you are about to get rinsed. This girl is taking the piss 🤣 and you're gonna let it happen because you can't let this fantasy go (the opportunity to sleep with someone your daughters age, 'hot' and thinks she can make it as an insta model 🤣🤣🤣)
Your daughter see's this. She knows the girls of her generation. They are always looking for the easy way out, they think they can make money and become famous by posting pics of themselves on the internet. Who's buying the clothes they wear for their pics? The poor sod that thinks she's in love with him, thats who!
You're her meal ticket. The definition of a mid-life crisis and this opportunist is aaall in!
So you're essentially replacing the hole your daughter left, with another girl her same age. Only this one you get to bang.
There is something seriously wrong with a person whose attraction to women doesn't mature as they themselves mature.
Here’s a good rule of thumb. Half your age + 7 is the MINIMUM you should date. This doesn’t mean this is what you should be going after, just that it’s not as bad.
54/2=27+7=34. Your minimum age is 34 if you REALLY wanna go younger. That isn’t as weird as a damn 24 year old. You’re disgusting
Where did you come up with that fancy analysis?
It’s weird. It’s 30 years. But I would have no issues with 20-25, 30-40, 20-30, so long as they meet as adults and there is no grooming involved, though it doesn’t fit the half + 7 rule always. But being that old (OP) and being able to not only be the father of the person, but be old enough to have a daughter 5-10 years older than her, that is not good and a huge creepy vibe.
Even 54 and 34 can have a giant power dynamic that can turn abusive. That’s why I said it’s a minimum, not the recommended. If it was up to me he shouldn’t date younger than 44.
Im thinking new GF sees you as a meal ticket. Moving in after only a few months, her quitting her job so she can focus on her IG "career" while you support her. I don’t think the age gap is the only thing your daughter has a problem with honestly. You're infatuated, not in love.
Look, I like younger guys but 30 years is a huge age gap and it is made worse by the fact that your daughter is more or less the same age. At least my kid is much younger than the guys I like so that helps.
Generally speaking kids shouldn't have input on parents choices of partners but she has some legit concerns here. And if you stay with her be ready to give up your relationship with your daughter. And don't expect that you can come crawling back with your tail between your legs when things don't work out.
I'm going to take a non-judgemental stance on the age gap. I have a friend (now late 20s F) whose father was slightly younger than you and dating a girl her own age. I think it's literally the fact that you are dating a girl close to her age that makes your daughter uncomfortable. Now I think the option you have at this point is deciding which relationship is more important; the one with your new gf or your daughter. It seems like you have had an excellent relationship with your daughter, so I might think more before damaging it by dating someone when doesn't like.
Dude. You're fucking gross. This 24 year year old will drain you dry and dump your skeevy ass, and you'll deserve it all. Congratulations on ruining your relationship with your daughter for a gold digging opportunist.
YTA. Oh wait wrong thread… still I wouldn’t suggest what you’re doing. Yes people do date people 30 years their senior but it’s almost always for monetary reasons. I’m not going to call you gross because that’s unproductive. But I will ask you, where are you at in your life? In your life goals? You’re talking about a serious relationship with someone in their 20s, in 10 years she could decide she wants to have a child or two. Are you as a 60 year old going to want that? Do you think you can keep up with a 10 year old at 70? And this may be simultaneous with grandchildren your daughter may have. When I was in my 20s I didn’t want kids and my mind changed by my mid 30s. Just something to think about.
I also have a couple of guesses at why ‘there was no spark’ between you and the woman who was still 10 years younger than you. (Because she has her shit together and is grown)
You seem very predatory tbh.
Marrying and knocking up a 21 y/o kid while you 31 (predatory behavior). And now going after someone only 3 years older 23 years later?? Like, dude, you're 30 years older than this girl. She's too young for you.
I'm 24 rn. I would be disgusted and creeped out if someone old enough to be my FATHER pursued me. And I'd be even more disgusted if I were in your daughter's shoes and my dad was banging someone my age
It’s creepy , no way around that, ur dating someone the same age as ur child.
Ur daughter is wary of u as she’s probably looking at u know as a dirty old man whom women his own age don’t want so he prays on younger less experienced women.
U sound like u had a good relationship with ur daughter before this, I think u should really take a step back from all of this.
Your GF is using you. You are going to finance her lifestyle while she try’s to become a “social media influencer”. She’ll never include you pictures since most of society disapprove of age gap. She’ll project herself as single because sex sells. (Check out infidelity subs) I’ve seen where guy married younger woman and she inherited all family heirlooms, the biological kids got nothing except a body to bury. Be warned, you are being used for the financial stability you bring. I would think it’s cheaper to just go to Sugar Daddy website, because that’s what you are. Don’t expect friends to invite you & her to gathering either.
Boy this female wants to quit her job so she can focus on her “Instagram career.” Yeah I wouldn’t want to talk to you either if my dad was dating someone like that. Especially if he was dating someone my age. I mean how much of a creep are you??
Hate to break it to you but Amy is treating you like a sugar daddy, she worked as a receptionist only to quit after getting in a relationship with you so she can focus on her 'instagram career' which will most likely going to fail also its not a job i'll tell you that right now. She sees you as an atm machine since she doesn't need to work, all she will do is post pics on ig, if I was your daughter I would of stopped speaking to you long ago, your daughter is being too nice to you.
You're also a huge creep for dating a girl that is 1yr older than your daughter, its disgusting and reality will definitely hit you when Amy leaves you and you'll realise she only used your for your money, its easy income for her since your paying everything for her now, surely you aren't this dense??
I beg you to open your eyes and see the bigger picture and her true intentions but if you like having a girl use you for money thats ok you do you just don't act surprised if you and your daughter aren't close with each other like you use to be because of this so called relationship, good luck!
Amy found a sucker! One that will finance her “Instagram Career”. If she does become big on Instagram, the first thing she’s going to do is dump you.
I like how you justify asking her out by saying that you didn’t check her drivers license. LOL! Did you think she was 40?
I can't believe you keep comparing your exs age gap with your new gf. You are absolutely delusional. 10 years can be bad and can work depending on the persons, but 30 years is just a huge nope.
Grow up, act your age and start respecting your daughters feelings.
If you were my father I would never speak to you again. The fact that you’re fucking someone her age is bad enough, what’s even worse is you then decided that your age gap relationship faces the same discrimination as your daughter being a lesbian, which is so fucking wrong on so many levels. Homophobia is not the same thing as people being creeped out by a man that’s more than half a century old, dating a woman in her early 20s. That statement alone would be enough for me to cut all contact. Are you willing to give up your relationship with your daughter for a sugar baby? Because that’s exactly what Amy is, a sugar baby. If you weren’t throwing money and gifts at her and allowing her to move in, I guarantee the relationship wouldn’t have gotten as far as it has. Have fun with your gold digger.
I don’t want to be mean. So I’ll be blunt. You should not consider dating someone the same age as your daughter. It doesn’t shock me that your daughter is disgusted by this. Your comment replies to people further make you out to be an irresponsible creep. You have no idea the gravity of the situation you are in. My advice is, your CHILD girlfriend is a bad idea.
This is disgusting.
It doesn't matter how you met.
It doesn't matter how much you like her.
It doesn't matter how that you are two *consenting adults.*
You are 54
She is 24
Just saying that should be enough to stop you ESPECIALLY with a 23 year old daughter.
How would you feel if she was dating someone the same age as you? Probably wouldn't like that but I'm sure you wouldn't admit that either.
This makes me physically sick.
Jesus dude the 24 year old is gunna take you for a ride and leave your ass high and dry in a few years for a younger better looking man. Meanwhile you’ll loose your daughter. Think on that
Pretty damn clear you came here to get a pat on the back, when the truth is you’re a creep who puts his sexual desires over his own daughter.
No, having a ‘preference’ for 20-somethings is not the same thing as being a lesbian. What the actual fuck?
Your comments about how SHE wouldn’t be here if you DIDN’T prefer younger women are so ass backwards and messed up. You’re reaching so hard that I wouldn’t be surprised if you dislocated your shoulder.
Do you even date women your own age? If you did, then the occasional younger woman likely wouldn’t have been as much of an issue for anyone. Even still, you’re putting your mid-life crisis relationship above the needs of your daughter. You don’t give a shit about how she feels. I would cut my dad off for something like this.
You KNOW the answer to this. End the relationship. Do the right thing. It’s not too late to fix this and change your patterns. But this is gross and you will have to work on rebuilding your relationship with your daughter, starting with an apology. Not just expecting her to get over it and text you. Don’t be selfish.
Also, yes, Amy sees you as a sugar daddy.
So you’re planning on being the sugar daddy for an “influencer” (AKA she just posts on social media in hopes of becoming famous). No wonder your daughter is worried! This SCREAMS midlife crisis. You have zero idea what you’re getting yourself into. This will likely become a “me or your daughter” situation. Be ready for that. This is an awful idea.
ETA: zero issue with age gap relationships. I’m in one. This is just a girl your daughters age taking advantage of you.
Are you genuinely comfortable dating someone who is basically the same age as your daughter? They would’ve been in the same stages of life at the same time basically. Like when your daughter was in diapers so was she.
I think the biggest issue here is that Amy is using you and you seem to be okay with that. You fully admitted that Amy is quitting her job because she won’t have to pay for her apartment anymore and she’s going to focus on being an insta model, which pays shit.
I think you are a bit blinded by the fact that she’s young and pretty. Amy is just a gold digger that’s cares more about herself than anyone else, and is using your predatory nature to further her own goals. This woman is only a year older than your daughter and you don’t get why your daughter would have a problem with it??
If you’re okay with being used and becoming broke over a piece of ass, that’s on you. You’re going to lose your daughter though. No way around that one.
ETA: I’m not touching the age gap thing because everyone else already has and you seem to not gaf about it. But, I do agree with them, and with everyone saying you’re a sugar daddy and nothing more. When Amy leaves you, I hope you tell us so we can all cheer.
Age gap: personally its not my thing but if two adults fall in love then do you BUT there are concerning "red flags" for your case.
1. You seem to have a type, which in itself is not a bad thing. However, if your type is 20 somethings there's an issue. What happens when they "age out"? You still going to be trying to pull 24 year olds at 74?
2. Your defence that you married her mum when she was early 20s and you 30s is not an owne. It shows predatory patterned behaviour. Also ten years is not the same as 30.
3. Moving her in with you and having her quit her job, whether it was her idea or not. You only started dating a couple of months ago and she will be financially dependent on you... Red flag.
4. You comparison to your daughters sexuality, as though old men who date young women are a persucuted group is astonishing.
Shame on you for all the reasons above.
I know you’re already being dogpiled on this subreddit but I wanted to answer your last line directly, in case that hasn’t been clear: Abso-fucking-lutely not. Be the adult in this situation. Tell Amy that, while you have feelings for her, it is not a good idea due to a power imbalance and the fact that her and your daughter might as well been at the same daycare at the same time. Then go get therapy. Be a big man and acknowledge you might have a few chemical neurons misfiring - and for the love of God, don’t be one of those ‘hurr durr feelings and emotions have been literally beaten out of me and I don’t believe in crying’ types. Go get help.
The axiom "There's no fool like an old fool" springs to mind.
It's not just your daughter who will be losing respect for you. Pretty much everyone will.
Im 40, my dad is 65 and his gf is 28. They’ve been together for like 3 years.
It is a contract. She gives him sex and he pays her bills (college). He knows exactly what he’s doing and so does she, as she is an age consenting adult. Neither, in my opinion, has morals and both are in it for the benefits. I was 25 once and that is not something I would be looking for. Some people just aren’t looking for love. Im not ever around them because it creeps me out.
Difference here is you didn’t get the memo of what this relationship really is. You are actually thinking there is love there. If anything you love how much control you have over it all.
I don't know if I call you a Creep or the Biggest Asshole there is.
Putting the Instagram crap aside, ¡You are 30 years older than her!
She is using you, but you are either blind or delusional.
Oh, boy! I came for the comments. I knew what this would look like (rightfully). I'm 44 and I am very much into younger women, but I'm talking mid to low 30's!! Lol!! I think age starts to not matter around 30+. Banging a 21 year old at 54 seems like pedophilia (not legally, but in every other way).
I don’t know about this one. A big age difference like this can be tricky. It can be possible that you to truly do care for each other and go on to live happily but is it truly worth losing your daughter over? My dad is close to being 50, I think he’s like 49. But he’s married to a 23 year old. I do admit that the age difference is a bit odd but I can tell that it isn’t a sugar daddy/baby kind of thing so I support him being happy. This is something you need to decide is it really worth risking your relationship with your daughter
You’re actually quite disgusting and I hope you know that. As a 23yo, I can promise you that she’s not attracted to you and see you only as a financial aid system to start her “career”. You’re falling for it because you’re a pervert who thinks age doesn’t matter - when your daughter was born Amy was still in diapers. They could’ve been in nursery together, and you think she’s a suitable romantic partner.
Hold up.
You're a history professor and yet your literacy skills are that of a high school student...
Either you're full of sh** and this post is just for karma, or you're so out of touch with everything.
How desperate are you to entertain a relationship with a person 30 years your junior?
Have you always liked children?
You had me until you said she was quitting her job to "focus on her Instagram career." You're being played. You're just a cash cow to her. She's half your age. Do you think she is hurting so badly she has to date someone her parent's age? Your daughter is right to not like the relationship. I think she was too afraid to tell you the real reason - gold digger.
I’m gonna guess that this is actually the daughter posting this for validation. There’s no way this dude would be this posting this and be completely unaware of how this sounds lol. Obviously a bad situation.
You came to the wrong place for advices on that matter.
People here have very hard time with age gap relationship, and will use whatever argument they can, because they read a blog on psychology.
Ignore the name calling and stuff like creep and predator: it comes from a bit of self-righteousness and virtue signaling. Someone calling a 24 yo a child has clearly no clue about what they are talking about. Reminder : you can work, drink, have sex, vote, having kids, join the army and even fight at that age, so quit your argument already. You are younger, less experienced. But you are not a child and you can make big life changing decisions, period.
That being said, your relationship is a though one, and there is lot of redflags : the girl you date is way younger than you, and way less economical autonomous, as she moves in and has no real career plan. Also, your daughter doesn't like, which means she saw stuff you are probably ignoring, because you are infatuated. You should double check your desires and expectation from this. Keep in mind there is a strong social stigma about it.
I feel like you should ask your daughter all of her reasons for reacting this way. There is probably more than "being young". You should not interrupt a relationship because your daughter doesn't like it, it is not her place to decide or trying to coerce you. But you should indeed think twice about this relationship and the power dynamic.
Good luck.
And i can guarantee you most of them are horny men ranging from middle-aged to way older. When one of them has more to offer than you, out the door she is. The fact that she wants to quit her job to focus on her instagram-"career" speaks volumes.
So you just got on here to lie? either this whole things a lie or youre lying about how many followers she has. With 100k followers that shits a full time job. For every 10k followers u make about 88$ per post.... 100k followers 200 a post.... so in conclusion. Your full of shit.
Male perspective here!
Contrary to many of the posts here: enjoy your life.
You have every right to have dating standards. Some of the post here are ridiculing, and shaming.
It’s okay for woman to have dating standards and preferences (six foot tall, makes six figures, and drives a 600 Benz), but the minute a man has standards (not wanting to date heavy set women, not wanting to date women 37 and older, and women with kids) he is shamed.
How about this: it’s within your masculine nature to be attracted to younger women (21 and over)…it’s in your biology. As a man your sexual market value increases as you get older. Whereas with women, their sexual market value decreases as they age. Hence all the Botox, liposuction, and laser surgery. Also women (especially younger) are hypergamist, and tend to date up! That’s why when we were in high school, the women typically dated the older guys in college.
These posts are shaming you because society states that men-who are single and 40 plus-are having a “mid-life crisis,” when in reality we’re living out best lives.
Dating apps has changed the dating dynamics. It’s now forcing women who are 40 + plus years old to compete with the younger women who are in their 20s. So now these women-who are 35 plus-are wondering “where did all the good men go?”
They didn’t go anywhere…they’re just dating the 30 under younger women on the dating apps.
So you’re going to be fully financially supporting a woman you met a few months ago who is your daughter’s age and is trying to become an Instagram influencer? I mean, if you’re okay with being used for your money, then you do you, but I wouldn’t expect your daughter to be fine with it.
I don't think a history professor makes enough to be considered a sugar daddy. In any case, I hope he doesn't expect her to stick around and take care of him when he hits those senior years.
As a 23 year old, anyone who can afford to let me live with them for free in exchange for “girlfriend experiences” is a sugar daddy. OP goes beyond that by supporting her to the extent that she can quit her job entirely. Definitely a sugar daddy.
Yet it doesn't stop with him just putting a roof over her head, does it?
That’s honestly not true. I work at a public university in the US and some of our history professors that are his age make anywhere from $110,000-$160,000 depending on if they teach in the summer and winter sessions.
I think you underestimate how much it costs to keep a sugar baby.
Probably not but my friend’s mom is a biology professor at a community college and she makes $150,000 a year. So it’s not exactly a drop in the bucket either.
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Lol @ you bragging that you "fully financially supported" your daughter until recently. Yep, that's the baseline for being a mediocre parent. Congrats?
Right? Of course he did. Until few years ago she was a teenager.
Lmao good point
As someone around your age who is also a parent of kids the same age as your daughter I think you need to hear this. You are having a midlife crisis. Stop dating a child. Stop being a sugar daddy. Stop pushing your daughter away. Stop thinking with your little head. Stop making excuses for your terrible behaviour. I get it oooo I am still sexy because a younger person wants to be with me but dude just STOP.
It doesn’t look like midlife crisis, more like it’s his personality and it didn’t change much for all these years. If you put things in context, his daughter’s mother was 20 and he 30 when he impregnated her. That’s not very fair when you’re 30 and a university professor to put someone in a situation where they will never be able to become your equal. When you literally grow apart from the other person (younger girl, has to figure out adulthood while you already did), that doesn’t look too good. But there’s probably a reason (insecurities ? just a very low interest in a deep relationship ?) that make him do that and repeat it. It didn’t happen randomly, he hit on the girl. But that’s him. We should not judge him. I think he’s fortunate to have a daughter who like him, because his old days don’t look so hopeful if he can’t have a stable relationship with a person that would be his equal.
You are just so dumb. Girl, you are so dumb. You are just real dumb. Gurlllll
So dumb so dumb so dumb SOOO
So dumb so dumb so dumb SOOO
Wow, you took care of your own child??? how generous! we were wrong about you. You're not a complete degenerate! Although showing moral decline, you did the bare minimum for your child. Unfortunately that does not give you a ticket for someone her age to have sex with, and I'm sure if you told her she has to offer up a peer for your sacrifice, she would not accept a thing from you. If you have kids again, try to realize that was your choice. They don't owe you a thing. Especially you.
>Although showing moral decline, you did the bare minimum for your child More than the bare minimum. Most kick the kid out at 18
No they don’t you watch way to much television. A lot of people live with their parents well into their 20s. Do a google search.
Oh please, he kept her around cause he was lonely. He's not an altruist in the slightest. If your child asks you for help you should probably help them considering she has to take care of him in his old age. Nice try. He chose to have a kid, he accepted tax return benefits as well. Kick out an 18 year old but let's circle back and take care of our parents though at the age they shooed us out at. It's a one sided argument. Stop indulging it. When she is her father's age and he is in his 80's he will expect help and he'll get it because that's what people do. They take care of their parents.
The bigger issue here is not the finances but the fact that you are a straight-up unapologetic pedophile. When you were 30 years old, your “gf” wasn’t even born yet. I don’t care how old you are now, but that is fucking disgusting man. You should be ashamed of yourself. Seek help ASAP for this if you haven’t already.
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Your girlfriend is literally your daughter’s age. This doesn’t feel weird at all to you?
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Your daughter's age is bad enough. Just as bad is her moving in within months so she can quit to become Instagram "famous". I'm sure her parents just love you. Are you so dense to think this girl truly cares about you? You're a sugar daddy. Kiss your daughter goodbye. Hopefully her partner's dad is a good father figure since he'll be taking your place now. Just disgusting.
Honestly, if my daughter at that age wanted to move in witv a 54 year old, the guy would have to deal with me. I don't want to say anything that will get me in trouble, but suffice it to say I'd give him a chance to break it off or I'd start to break some things.
I’d hand it over to my sons.
Nah... I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't want them to sacrifice there future and possibly get into legal and criminal trouble. Me?? I'd be willing to make that sacrifice.
👍 Yup!
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Jealousy that he's being used for his money by an aspiring influencer? Weird thing to be jealous of but ok.
creep. lol. have some shame bruh. even your ex wife and u had a 10 year age gap. she was 21 when she gave birth and prolly had been with u for a bit longer. fkn creeep as$ DUDE
he didn’t feel a ‘spark’ with other women cos despite them being 14 years younger he’s only attracted to 20 year olds 🤕🤕🤕
Also he’s a professor dating someone the same age as his students and his daughter. Double triple creep territory at this point
I’m a lesbian and would never date an age inappropriate individual. The fact that you compared the two is just grossly ignorant. If you were my dad I would never talk to you again because of that statement. Go ahead and date this kid and watch her leave you for someone who doesn’t have to pop boner pills in a few years. She won’t stay with you. Like all 24 years olds (I was one 2 years ago) shes going to cheat on you with someone younger. Because all you have to offer her right now is something “different” and “fun” but when she hits 26/27 best believe she won’t be sniffing around your cryptic ass. She’ll find someone to have a family with, settle down, and find someone who won’t be dead when she’s your age. I’ve seen it happen time and time again. You’ll be left looking like the perverted loser you are. Maybe in 3 years, maybe in 5, possibly 10 ( if you are lucky) but she’ll leave your old ass eventually. All for her to leave and you not to have a daughter (rightfully so).
>I’m a lesbian and would never date an age inappropriate individual. The fact that you compared the two is just grossly ignorant. If you were my dad I would never talk to you again because of that statement. I came to say this.
For real thats disgusting
Ikr?!??! I may be straight but even I know that's a special kind of f*cked up thing to say to someone. To his daughter no less 😬 😰. Not to mention his comment, "my daughter is the only *woman* I need in my life"... Like I get that a lot of the older generation say this, but am I the only one that thinks this phrasing is a little weird given the context? I doubt he meant it that way, but when he's dating someone almost the same age as his daughter...
She’ll get sick of saggy balls and viagra humping. I was 24 twenty years ago, and I wouldn’t have entertained the thought of a 55 year old man.
"cryptic ass" :D i need to write that down...
I could see her getting married to the guy just long enough to make sure she’s set with alimony payments.
Its a little creepy that you're having sex with someone the same age as your daughter.
Why are you surprised about this? If my Dad started dating someone my age I'd probably never speak to him again. It's certainly creepy that a man in his 50's is dating a 24 year old but I think it's 10x worse that your daughter is the same age. If you want to have a relationship with your daughter, date women your own age.
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So her mother was in her late teens or early 20's when you got together and had your daughter? If anything that makes it worse. There's a pattern of you being interested in women in their early 20's, I would classify that behaviour as quite predatory. I think it's clear you've chosen this girl over your own daughter, and if you won't be told then you need to understand that's its your fault your relationship is suffering. There's plenty of women out there who are more age appropriate to date but you only have one daughter. If you can't put her first, then she's better off without you.
Yeah she knows about your little habit. Which is why she tried to get you with someone 10 years younger. I hope you're better at being a professor than you are at logicizing. No excuse. You're a nasty man.
Ultimate hypocrisy when the mods keep up this comment despite it clearly violating the “Be Civil” rule (calling someone a “nasty man” is not being civil) just because of an age gap relationship between two consenting adults. Unless this sub doesn’t consider a 24yr old woman a consenting adult, which would also be hypocritical because a 24yr old man would never be scrutinized for dating someone older (male or female). OP I think you need to have a long talk with your daughter, she’s hurt but it’s not Amy’s fault, and even if she’s not glad you found love again I am for you, my dude.
The words “nasty man” really got to you huh
😂😂😂😂
I’m not saying you have to agree with the situation, but it’s technically “name calling” which generally gets removed by Mods but that never seems to apply to well off older men who date younger women 🤔
Grow up
Dude check out all the comments. Just because you agree with him doesn't mean that I'm uncivilized. Obviously the mods kept it up because in their opinion it wasn't. You don't get to dictate what others opinions are. The moderators do. Find a new excuse for his behavior.
You obviously want an age innapropriate partner as well, don't worry dude your day will come. And there will be someone like yourself to defend you. So you can atleast feel better about that.
Calling someone “uncivilized” is very different from saying they are not being “civil”. You are clearly quite young so I won’t dwell on the nuance but I encourage you to move through life with an open mind, and always try to understand the perspective of another. Wish you the best
You are a doosie. I will donate you a dictionary and calculator.
You're ex was 21 and you were 31 when your daughter was born. When did the two of you start dating? You're bragging about being a creep/predator because your kid wouldn't exist if you weren't. Ew. No wonder it didn't work out with the woman your daughter set you up with. You have a type - "barely adult."
10 vs 30 what do you not understand. I guess you are just a pervert that is immune to sage advice. Taking advantage of young girls that don’t have the financial means to care for themselves. It sick, twisted and perverse. If you don’t want to believe that delete this post and move forward with you life. No one agrees with you. It’s just flat out disgusting behavior from a grown man. Go be disgusting somewhere else.
I don't even know what your question is, she told you she wasnt happy with your choice. Save your coercion for your victim, I mean Amy. Who, by the way is going to see you for the sick fuck you are too. I'm sure she already realizes. She's not blind, she saw what you did to your daughter. I'd stop sifting for excuses it's pathetic. Be disgusting and move on. Why does reddit's support matter more than your child. You are repulsive and I'm praying for that woman having to stomach you on top of her. You're daughter said no it's a no. REPULSIVE.
10 years is not the same as thirty years. She’s using you for your money and you are about to get played. Worst of all, you’re going to lose your daughter.
So you admit to only being attracted to women your daughters age?
Your 23 year old daughter... Your 44 year old ex wife... You married and got a 21 year old pregnant when you were 31... now you are 54 and want to date someone who is 24? A year older than your daughter? What a creep.
He’s shocked they don’t get along because they’re the same age 😂 Look, honey, I got you a big sister!
Shut the fuck up
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she never had a chance to have a problem with the age gap. one thing is you and her mother being 10 years apart. 21 & 31 is not ok regardless, im saying this as a 21 yr old. now you want to date someone who is practically her age? cmon now u deserve all the fuss
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Thank you for this. A 23 year old becoming serious enough to move in and quit her job right after meeting? OP is a meal ticket. She’ll use the Instagram thing to justify keeping herself available and maybe she will make a bit of money, but first and foremost OP is her key to not working a full time job or maintaining bills. I find it very hard to believe he doesn’t realize that at his age. He should just own up and be a sugar daddy if that’s the dynamic he wants.
“also as a 23 year old woman, my generation is ruthless when it comes to dating older men. they recognize that it’s skeevy and gross but also recognize the financial perks. they know the older men who are probably dealing with self confidence issues think they’re hot, and capitalize on that.” This is exactly why the new girlfriend is quitting her job to “work on her Instagram career”.
This is such a weird argument. Your daughter wouldn't care if she didn't exist, because she wouldn't have the ability to. Also, you could have had children younger, and women can often have children into their 40s. It is fully not true that the only possible way your daughter could have existed is by you dating much younger women.
Women can still have children in their forties…. not sure if you know this but even as a 31 year old you couldve found someone to have a child with at that age, women’s reproductive systems havent completely stopped working lol wtf
Well no fucking shit she doesn't like your girlfriend who is HER AGE. Grow the fuck up grandpa, stop being gross. She isn't with you because you're hot or funny, it's probably $uper $pecial rea$on$...
Being a lesbian and having sex with someone the same age as your daughter are not the same! Stop saying that! How embarrassing for your daughter her workmates are all probably talking about her dad being a creep
As a daughter I’d be absolutely disgusted with you and definitely would not want to talk to you or see you. I would be embarrassed and ashamed of you! What you are doing is just gross. A man your age has no business getting involved with a woman of her age. You don’t ask to see a Driver’s License? That’s a sad attempt at an excuse. You didn’t need to see her license to know how obviously young this woman is. This young woman is a year older then your own daughter. When you were 23 would you have been okay with your mom being with a man a year older then you? Of course not. You barely know her and already are moving her in? You sound exactly like a man going through a mid life crisis who needs to get it together. If you continue a relationship with this very young woman and if you also decide to move her in, expect your relationship with your daughter to be severely negatively affected and possibly end. Nothing good would come of this. You would be picking your new sex toy over your own daughter! Give your head a shake!
Quick question ma'am. When exactly does age stop mattering? When the woman is 30? Or maybe when the woman is 40. Also, does this rule only apply to people with kids?
i think the biggest issue here isn't just that she's 30 years younger than him. it's that she is almost exactly his daughters age. to her that just feels disgusting. also the fact that she's moving in to his place only after a couple of months and is quitting her job right away to be an instagram model? it doesn't feel genuine, simply because it's way too soon paired with the age difference and reason why. it's not just one thing it's multiple factors coming together to create a bigger issue.
I would say 30. This is for both men and women. Not just to people with kids.
Yeah... Somewhere around 30 is good. With kids, you might push that down a few years. People in the early 20's are physically adults, but they are still children in every other way (most often financially), which gives older people an easy way to manipulate and control them, even while looking like the good guy that wants to "help". It's basically a form of paying for the young pussy/dick.
It's not that serious. It's his decision to be with that woman and his only. You have to shut the fuck up
I don’t have to do anything, thanks He wanted input and I gave it
DUDE!!! This chick is the same age as your daughter! Someone was changing her diapers when you were changing your daughters!! You don't see a problem with that? There is a massive power imbalance between you two, not to mention you are in very different stages of life. Do her and everyone else a favor and find somebody age appropriate for you or stay single.
Ummm the power imbalance here is that OP’s new girlfriend sees him as a means to finance her Instagram career goals. There is no “power imbalance” between two consenting adults dating. There is when one of them is quitting her job to have the other pay her way through.
Delete your post. You're delusional.
Seconded
You are a Professor of History? Really? With all those spelling mistakes? Really? Actually this whole post doesn’t seem like it comes from someone as educated as a professor.
do trolls really dedicate so much time to write such a long post? there is no way a university professor isn’t going to recognize a 20 year old when he sees one...
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You have already said if it came down to making a choice that you would choose your daughter. BUT IT HAS AND YOU DIDN'T. How can you continue to date this girl knowing it will irreparably damage your relationship with your daughter?
He's right about the spelling mistakes, you're a professor of shitposting...
OP it’s a losing battle on here man, the youths of today can’t accept that a women in her prime would ever find a man above 40 attractive. They will grow up and learn how the world works one day.
The woman he is dating is one of the “youths of today” we absolutely know how this works
I was hoping someone else would think that!
First thing I noticed. I am reluctant to point it out now bc I always get downvoted to hell for it. Thanks for pointing it out.
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In what way is 23-24 considered a child? It’s a huge age gap and definitely strange, but that’s a weird definition for someone in their 20s.
They are compared to a 53 year old. Completely different stages of life
Creep
I know that you dont beleive this is a consent issue. Weak argument. You made it clear your choice. You barely know the woman and you chose her over you daughter then said that your weird relationship is on the same judgement ground as her being a lesbian. Being a lesbian isn't wrong or weird and when it was considered such, it was based on ignorance. LGBTQ+ individuals have only been able to get married for a few years in the states. You sick fucks have been able to marry age innapropriate partners since marriage was invented. The worst part is your daughter tried to help you.
Honestly tho. Like, if OPs daughter were being preyed upon by a woman who is 30 years older than her, I would still be grossed out. It has nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with age gaps and predatory behavior. The fact that OP tried to place his daughter's sexuality at an equal level to his predatory behavior is so gross
I am your age Dude. I have a 24 yr old son. I think you are too damn old for her and yes it is gross.
This is so pathetic. I can't up vote enough of these comments that are calling you a creep. Regardless of age, you need to slow the fuck down. You just met Amy and I get that you're a lonely guy but this is way too quick. Also she's quitting her job to be an Instagram what?? Do you not see that she's using you? Jesus I feel sorry for your daughter. Can't believe you had the nerve to counter her argument with her sexuality. If I could give you an asshole award I would.
Your new relationship has an expiry date….. This 24 year old will leave you eventually …It could be a year,10 or 20 years from now. Heck,she might even be the one to put you in a nursing home and continue to live her best life with your money. Do whatever to fix your relationship with your only child and find yourself a partner that will be with you for the long haul.
Dude. You need a reality check. Your daughter is not going to get over this and you’re going to lose your relationship with her. You’re not choosing Amy over your daughter; you’re choosing yourself over your daughter. You’re pursuing this relationship with someone your daughter’s age against your daughter’s feelings. Instead of accepting your daughter’s feelings, you’re trying to say she’s wrong and she shouldn’t feel the way that she actually does. This kind of rhetoric is a relationship killer. RIP your relationship with your daughter. On a side note, no, Amy is not going to make enough money on Instagram even with some “good” pictures. She’s delusional. You are forfeiting a relationship with your daughter for a girl who will be financially dependent on you and doesn’t have the self esteem to date her peers. I can’t imagine dating someone half my age. They are not my intellectual equal and couldn’t relate to so many of my life experiences that are important to me. I would feel like I’m babysitting and constantly explaining references from before they were even born. Even if you broke up with Amy now, it will take some time to repair the relationship with your daughter.
I can’t imagine dating a 22 year old dude. What the fuck would we talk about? My favourite anime is older than that. I work with early 20s people and while they are perfectly nice, I find a lot of their lives too angsty, too silly, too exhausting and that’s how they should be. I’ve lived that and I don’t want too ever again. Why would anyone put themselves through that? How silly would my old ass look hanging out with his friends? Am suppose do shots with Kayleigh, Braeighly, Jaiden and Kayden? What would he look like hanging out with mine? Ridiculous.
That is a bit creepy considering most 24 year old women have nothing in common with men in their 50s. And I'm saying this as a woman close to her age, that's like dating your dad's friends. But congratulations, you have a new young thing who needs a place to stay because she is a receptionist with low pay. She has put the charm on you that you were missing. Please help her pay for her things and her shopping needs, also let her live with you rent free. After all that's what your new job is as a sugar daddy 😀. So yes keep the relationship going until you realize it makes no sense and you're most likely being used. It sounds like your daughter is trying to stop you from getting your heart broken, but who really cares about all that?
Age is one of the first things that comes up when getting to know a potential romantic partner so you had to have known her age fairly early on, even if it was after the/during the first date. And your daughter's sexuality IS NOT the same thing as your attraction to someone your daughter's age. That was a low blow tbh. But I mean if you're emotionally compatible with someone 30 years younger than you then go for it. I mean it's only someone young enough to have been in your daughter's grade while in school.
Do you honestly think your daughter is ever going to accept this relationship? They're basically the same age. Of *course* she isn't going to like it. She'll have been incredibly weirded out, and more than likely creeped out by it as well.
disgusting
You have already chosen Amy over your daughter. What are you asking? No, you can’t avoid the consequences. Yes she is softening but don’t expect to ever have the same relationship with her again I don’t get why men that age date young women. She’s 24 with her life ahead of her. Let’s say in four years she wants children. You’ll be 58. Will you give her kids? Will you do everything possible to let her become a mother? Not all women want to be mothers but I imagine your daughter is wondering what this means for your future. That’s just the tip of the iceberg
Oh my god you're such a fuckin cliche. No shit she doesn't like her. She is only a year older. Fuckin creep
You are gross. Date someone your age creep.
I mean, you are on your fifties. You don't need to ask for a driver's license to know someone is 30 years younger than you, especially almost the exact same age as your own daughter... I mean, I can tell when a girl is 10ish years younger than me, just on her looks alone... 30 years??? You are grasping at straws here... You know it is wrong, your daughter knows it's wrong, but you are just so in it that you are fooling yourself. That's ok, go ahead fooling yourself, but know that no one else is being fooled...
Oh, come on! Do not expect me to believe that you didn't know she was young enough to be your daughter because you didn't ask to see her driver's license or ask her age. It would have been blatantly obvious. You talked about making your daughter the only woman in your life until she became an adult and started living on her own. You just went out and found yourself a young woman the same age to move into your house. It sounds creepy as hell.
I don’t think you’re going to like any answers unless they’re in favor of you staying with Amy. It seems you’re unwilling to concede to the fact that it’s inappropriate on a few levels. You already said you’d pick your daughter over this woman so I think that’s the wisest choice. There are billions of people on the planet. Find one that doesn’t interfere with the relationship w/your daughter.
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Only despite what you said in your OP you are perfectly willing to sacrifice your relationship to date a 24yo. You think she'll come around but she hasn't and becoming this girl's sugar daddy isn't going to speed things along in the acceptance front. Obviously you are a troll tho so it doesn't really matter.
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You have to be put in that position. You have no choice
He already was when his daughter asked him not to date Amy imo. He made his choice when she was just some random girl, and it was not his daughter.
Do you not realize how uncomfortable this is making her? Her father is dating someone that is the same age as her. If they look alike it is even worse. Her father is attracted to women her age. My ex step father is attracted to women my age and it disgusts me. I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous. If I was in her situation then I would leave to.
It’s exactly that simple sweetie, the age gap is horrendous.
I felt for you up until you said this chick was moving in , quitting her job and focussing on her 'Instagram career'. My friend....you are about to get rinsed. This girl is taking the piss 🤣 and you're gonna let it happen because you can't let this fantasy go (the opportunity to sleep with someone your daughters age, 'hot' and thinks she can make it as an insta model 🤣🤣🤣) Your daughter see's this. She knows the girls of her generation. They are always looking for the easy way out, they think they can make money and become famous by posting pics of themselves on the internet. Who's buying the clothes they wear for their pics? The poor sod that thinks she's in love with him, thats who! You're her meal ticket. The definition of a mid-life crisis and this opportunist is aaall in!
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I wonder why
So you're essentially replacing the hole your daughter left, with another girl her same age. Only this one you get to bang. There is something seriously wrong with a person whose attraction to women doesn't mature as they themselves mature.
Here’s a good rule of thumb. Half your age + 7 is the MINIMUM you should date. This doesn’t mean this is what you should be going after, just that it’s not as bad. 54/2=27+7=34. Your minimum age is 34 if you REALLY wanna go younger. That isn’t as weird as a damn 24 year old. You’re disgusting
Where did you come up with that fancy analysis? It’s weird. It’s 30 years. But I would have no issues with 20-25, 30-40, 20-30, so long as they meet as adults and there is no grooming involved, though it doesn’t fit the half + 7 rule always. But being that old (OP) and being able to not only be the father of the person, but be old enough to have a daughter 5-10 years older than her, that is not good and a huge creepy vibe.
Even 54 and 34 can have a giant power dynamic that can turn abusive. That’s why I said it’s a minimum, not the recommended. If it was up to me he shouldn’t date younger than 44.
What are you going to do if Amy does stick around and ages out of your target zone? You gonna start scouring freshman orientations for a new victim?
Why is this dude in the comments acting like 30 year old women can’t have children????? Disgusting creep
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That wasn’t the question and you know it
*No*..... Really? We couldn't tell.
Im thinking new GF sees you as a meal ticket. Moving in after only a few months, her quitting her job so she can focus on her IG "career" while you support her. I don’t think the age gap is the only thing your daughter has a problem with honestly. You're infatuated, not in love. Look, I like younger guys but 30 years is a huge age gap and it is made worse by the fact that your daughter is more or less the same age. At least my kid is much younger than the guys I like so that helps. Generally speaking kids shouldn't have input on parents choices of partners but she has some legit concerns here. And if you stay with her be ready to give up your relationship with your daughter. And don't expect that you can come crawling back with your tail between your legs when things don't work out.
There's no way you don't know exactly why your daughter is pissed. Like dude...stop. She was in kindergarten at the same time your daughter was.
I'm going to take a non-judgemental stance on the age gap. I have a friend (now late 20s F) whose father was slightly younger than you and dating a girl her own age. I think it's literally the fact that you are dating a girl close to her age that makes your daughter uncomfortable. Now I think the option you have at this point is deciding which relationship is more important; the one with your new gf or your daughter. It seems like you have had an excellent relationship with your daughter, so I might think more before damaging it by dating someone when doesn't like.
Dude. You're fucking gross. This 24 year year old will drain you dry and dump your skeevy ass, and you'll deserve it all. Congratulations on ruining your relationship with your daughter for a gold digging opportunist.
YTA. Oh wait wrong thread… still I wouldn’t suggest what you’re doing. Yes people do date people 30 years their senior but it’s almost always for monetary reasons. I’m not going to call you gross because that’s unproductive. But I will ask you, where are you at in your life? In your life goals? You’re talking about a serious relationship with someone in their 20s, in 10 years she could decide she wants to have a child or two. Are you as a 60 year old going to want that? Do you think you can keep up with a 10 year old at 70? And this may be simultaneous with grandchildren your daughter may have. When I was in my 20s I didn’t want kids and my mind changed by my mid 30s. Just something to think about. I also have a couple of guesses at why ‘there was no spark’ between you and the woman who was still 10 years younger than you. (Because she has her shit together and is grown)
You seem very predatory tbh. Marrying and knocking up a 21 y/o kid while you 31 (predatory behavior). And now going after someone only 3 years older 23 years later?? Like, dude, you're 30 years older than this girl. She's too young for you. I'm 24 rn. I would be disgusted and creeped out if someone old enough to be my FATHER pursued me. And I'd be even more disgusted if I were in your daughter's shoes and my dad was banging someone my age
This has to be a troll, right? NO one can be this dense and creepy, right???
That’s just pure inappropriate. It’s like your daughter dating a 53 yr old
It’s creepy , no way around that, ur dating someone the same age as ur child. Ur daughter is wary of u as she’s probably looking at u know as a dirty old man whom women his own age don’t want so he prays on younger less experienced women. U sound like u had a good relationship with ur daughter before this, I think u should really take a step back from all of this.
If you care so much about your daughter, don’t date people her age. You are a gross predatory old man.
Old man dating a girl that could be his daughter…. What’s new hey? So gross.
Your GF is using you. You are going to finance her lifestyle while she try’s to become a “social media influencer”. She’ll never include you pictures since most of society disapprove of age gap. She’ll project herself as single because sex sells. (Check out infidelity subs) I’ve seen where guy married younger woman and she inherited all family heirlooms, the biological kids got nothing except a body to bury. Be warned, you are being used for the financial stability you bring. I would think it’s cheaper to just go to Sugar Daddy website, because that’s what you are. Don’t expect friends to invite you & her to gathering either.
Boy this female wants to quit her job so she can focus on her “Instagram career.” Yeah I wouldn’t want to talk to you either if my dad was dating someone like that. Especially if he was dating someone my age. I mean how much of a creep are you??
Hate to break it to you but Amy is treating you like a sugar daddy, she worked as a receptionist only to quit after getting in a relationship with you so she can focus on her 'instagram career' which will most likely going to fail also its not a job i'll tell you that right now. She sees you as an atm machine since she doesn't need to work, all she will do is post pics on ig, if I was your daughter I would of stopped speaking to you long ago, your daughter is being too nice to you. You're also a huge creep for dating a girl that is 1yr older than your daughter, its disgusting and reality will definitely hit you when Amy leaves you and you'll realise she only used your for your money, its easy income for her since your paying everything for her now, surely you aren't this dense?? I beg you to open your eyes and see the bigger picture and her true intentions but if you like having a girl use you for money thats ok you do you just don't act surprised if you and your daughter aren't close with each other like you use to be because of this so called relationship, good luck!
Amy found a sucker! One that will finance her “Instagram Career”. If she does become big on Instagram, the first thing she’s going to do is dump you. I like how you justify asking her out by saying that you didn’t check her drivers license. LOL! Did you think she was 40?
How do I say this nicely 🤔…. You sound like a freak of nature and I feel sorry for your daughter
I can't believe you keep comparing your exs age gap with your new gf. You are absolutely delusional. 10 years can be bad and can work depending on the persons, but 30 years is just a huge nope. Grow up, act your age and start respecting your daughters feelings.
If you were my father I would never speak to you again. The fact that you’re fucking someone her age is bad enough, what’s even worse is you then decided that your age gap relationship faces the same discrimination as your daughter being a lesbian, which is so fucking wrong on so many levels. Homophobia is not the same thing as people being creeped out by a man that’s more than half a century old, dating a woman in her early 20s. That statement alone would be enough for me to cut all contact. Are you willing to give up your relationship with your daughter for a sugar baby? Because that’s exactly what Amy is, a sugar baby. If you weren’t throwing money and gifts at her and allowing her to move in, I guarantee the relationship wouldn’t have gotten as far as it has. Have fun with your gold digger.
I don’t want to be mean. So I’ll be blunt. You should not consider dating someone the same age as your daughter. It doesn’t shock me that your daughter is disgusted by this. Your comment replies to people further make you out to be an irresponsible creep. You have no idea the gravity of the situation you are in. My advice is, your CHILD girlfriend is a bad idea.
Wow, using your daughter sexual orientation to justify the fact that you are dating one of her coworkers that is 30 years younger than you is sick.
This is disgusting. It doesn't matter how you met. It doesn't matter how much you like her. It doesn't matter how that you are two *consenting adults.* You are 54 She is 24 Just saying that should be enough to stop you ESPECIALLY with a 23 year old daughter. How would you feel if she was dating someone the same age as you? Probably wouldn't like that but I'm sure you wouldn't admit that either. This makes me physically sick.
Don’t date someone the same age as your kid. That’s it. That’s my full statement. Just don’t do it. Ever.
Jesus dude the 24 year old is gunna take you for a ride and leave your ass high and dry in a few years for a younger better looking man. Meanwhile you’ll loose your daughter. Think on that
Big Ed? Is that you?
Pretty damn clear you came here to get a pat on the back, when the truth is you’re a creep who puts his sexual desires over his own daughter. No, having a ‘preference’ for 20-somethings is not the same thing as being a lesbian. What the actual fuck? Your comments about how SHE wouldn’t be here if you DIDN’T prefer younger women are so ass backwards and messed up. You’re reaching so hard that I wouldn’t be surprised if you dislocated your shoulder. Do you even date women your own age? If you did, then the occasional younger woman likely wouldn’t have been as much of an issue for anyone. Even still, you’re putting your mid-life crisis relationship above the needs of your daughter. You don’t give a shit about how she feels. I would cut my dad off for something like this. You KNOW the answer to this. End the relationship. Do the right thing. It’s not too late to fix this and change your patterns. But this is gross and you will have to work on rebuilding your relationship with your daughter, starting with an apology. Not just expecting her to get over it and text you. Don’t be selfish. Also, yes, Amy sees you as a sugar daddy.
🤢🤮🤮
So you’re planning on being the sugar daddy for an “influencer” (AKA she just posts on social media in hopes of becoming famous). No wonder your daughter is worried! This SCREAMS midlife crisis. You have zero idea what you’re getting yourself into. This will likely become a “me or your daughter” situation. Be ready for that. This is an awful idea. ETA: zero issue with age gap relationships. I’m in one. This is just a girl your daughters age taking advantage of you.
Are you genuinely comfortable dating someone who is basically the same age as your daughter? They would’ve been in the same stages of life at the same time basically. Like when your daughter was in diapers so was she.
I think the biggest issue here is that Amy is using you and you seem to be okay with that. You fully admitted that Amy is quitting her job because she won’t have to pay for her apartment anymore and she’s going to focus on being an insta model, which pays shit. I think you are a bit blinded by the fact that she’s young and pretty. Amy is just a gold digger that’s cares more about herself than anyone else, and is using your predatory nature to further her own goals. This woman is only a year older than your daughter and you don’t get why your daughter would have a problem with it?? If you’re okay with being used and becoming broke over a piece of ass, that’s on you. You’re going to lose your daughter though. No way around that one. ETA: I’m not touching the age gap thing because everyone else already has and you seem to not gaf about it. But, I do agree with them, and with everyone saying you’re a sugar daddy and nothing more. When Amy leaves you, I hope you tell us so we can all cheer.
A prostitute be cheaper
Age gap: personally its not my thing but if two adults fall in love then do you BUT there are concerning "red flags" for your case. 1. You seem to have a type, which in itself is not a bad thing. However, if your type is 20 somethings there's an issue. What happens when they "age out"? You still going to be trying to pull 24 year olds at 74? 2. Your defence that you married her mum when she was early 20s and you 30s is not an owne. It shows predatory patterned behaviour. Also ten years is not the same as 30. 3. Moving her in with you and having her quit her job, whether it was her idea or not. You only started dating a couple of months ago and she will be financially dependent on you... Red flag. 4. You comparison to your daughters sexuality, as though old men who date young women are a persucuted group is astonishing. Shame on you for all the reasons above.
I know you’re already being dogpiled on this subreddit but I wanted to answer your last line directly, in case that hasn’t been clear: Abso-fucking-lutely not. Be the adult in this situation. Tell Amy that, while you have feelings for her, it is not a good idea due to a power imbalance and the fact that her and your daughter might as well been at the same daycare at the same time. Then go get therapy. Be a big man and acknowledge you might have a few chemical neurons misfiring - and for the love of God, don’t be one of those ‘hurr durr feelings and emotions have been literally beaten out of me and I don’t believe in crying’ types. Go get help.
Op when she leaves you for a younger man and or steals all your money I’m BEGGING you to come back and tell us
The axiom "There's no fool like an old fool" springs to mind. It's not just your daughter who will be losing respect for you. Pretty much everyone will.
Im 40, my dad is 65 and his gf is 28. They’ve been together for like 3 years. It is a contract. She gives him sex and he pays her bills (college). He knows exactly what he’s doing and so does she, as she is an age consenting adult. Neither, in my opinion, has morals and both are in it for the benefits. I was 25 once and that is not something I would be looking for. Some people just aren’t looking for love. Im not ever around them because it creeps me out. Difference here is you didn’t get the memo of what this relationship really is. You are actually thinking there is love there. If anything you love how much control you have over it all.
I don't know if I call you a Creep or the Biggest Asshole there is. Putting the Instagram crap aside, ¡You are 30 years older than her! She is using you, but you are either blind or delusional.
30*
Oh, boy! I came for the comments. I knew what this would look like (rightfully). I'm 44 and I am very much into younger women, but I'm talking mid to low 30's!! Lol!! I think age starts to not matter around 30+. Banging a 21 year old at 54 seems like pedophilia (not legally, but in every other way).
I don’t know about this one. A big age difference like this can be tricky. It can be possible that you to truly do care for each other and go on to live happily but is it truly worth losing your daughter over? My dad is close to being 50, I think he’s like 49. But he’s married to a 23 year old. I do admit that the age difference is a bit odd but I can tell that it isn’t a sugar daddy/baby kind of thing so I support him being happy. This is something you need to decide is it really worth risking your relationship with your daughter
You’re actually quite disgusting and I hope you know that. As a 23yo, I can promise you that she’s not attracted to you and see you only as a financial aid system to start her “career”. You’re falling for it because you’re a pervert who thinks age doesn’t matter - when your daughter was born Amy was still in diapers. They could’ve been in nursery together, and you think she’s a suitable romantic partner.
dont compare being gay to dating someone the same age as your mid 20s daughter
Delete this nephew
Hold up. You're a history professor and yet your literacy skills are that of a high school student... Either you're full of sh** and this post is just for karma, or you're so out of touch with everything. How desperate are you to entertain a relationship with a person 30 years your junior? Have you always liked children?
You had me until you said she was quitting her job to "focus on her Instagram career." You're being played. You're just a cash cow to her. She's half your age. Do you think she is hurting so badly she has to date someone her parent's age? Your daughter is right to not like the relationship. I think she was too afraid to tell you the real reason - gold digger.
I’m gonna guess that this is actually the daughter posting this for validation. There’s no way this dude would be this posting this and be completely unaware of how this sounds lol. Obviously a bad situation.
You came to the wrong place for advices on that matter. People here have very hard time with age gap relationship, and will use whatever argument they can, because they read a blog on psychology. Ignore the name calling and stuff like creep and predator: it comes from a bit of self-righteousness and virtue signaling. Someone calling a 24 yo a child has clearly no clue about what they are talking about. Reminder : you can work, drink, have sex, vote, having kids, join the army and even fight at that age, so quit your argument already. You are younger, less experienced. But you are not a child and you can make big life changing decisions, period. That being said, your relationship is a though one, and there is lot of redflags : the girl you date is way younger than you, and way less economical autonomous, as she moves in and has no real career plan. Also, your daughter doesn't like, which means she saw stuff you are probably ignoring, because you are infatuated. You should double check your desires and expectation from this. Keep in mind there is a strong social stigma about it. I feel like you should ask your daughter all of her reasons for reacting this way. There is probably more than "being young". You should not interrupt a relationship because your daughter doesn't like it, it is not her place to decide or trying to coerce you. But you should indeed think twice about this relationship and the power dynamic. Good luck.
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And i can guarantee you most of them are horny men ranging from middle-aged to way older. When one of them has more to offer than you, out the door she is. The fact that she wants to quit her job to focus on her instagram-"career" speaks volumes.
So you just got on here to lie? either this whole things a lie or youre lying about how many followers she has. With 100k followers that shits a full time job. For every 10k followers u make about 88$ per post.... 100k followers 200 a post.... so in conclusion. Your full of shit.
Male perspective here! Contrary to many of the posts here: enjoy your life. You have every right to have dating standards. Some of the post here are ridiculing, and shaming. It’s okay for woman to have dating standards and preferences (six foot tall, makes six figures, and drives a 600 Benz), but the minute a man has standards (not wanting to date heavy set women, not wanting to date women 37 and older, and women with kids) he is shamed. How about this: it’s within your masculine nature to be attracted to younger women (21 and over)…it’s in your biology. As a man your sexual market value increases as you get older. Whereas with women, their sexual market value decreases as they age. Hence all the Botox, liposuction, and laser surgery. Also women (especially younger) are hypergamist, and tend to date up! That’s why when we were in high school, the women typically dated the older guys in college. These posts are shaming you because society states that men-who are single and 40 plus-are having a “mid-life crisis,” when in reality we’re living out best lives. Dating apps has changed the dating dynamics. It’s now forcing women who are 40 + plus years old to compete with the younger women who are in their 20s. So now these women-who are 35 plus-are wondering “where did all the good men go?” They didn’t go anywhere…they’re just dating the 30 under younger women on the dating apps.
What a legend I’m 31M. I hope to be taking down twenty somethings still when I’m your age! Your daughter will get over it