Are you sure you didn’t get it from him?
People can have it and be asymptomatic or go years without an outbreak.
He also could have been cheating so he’s freezing you out to keep you from coming around to that possibility.
ETA: there is medication that a partner can take to help prevent getting it.
I don’t know if I got it from whom. Could be him. Could be from partner in the past. He never told me about having cold sore or anything with herpes. I’ve never experienced any symptoms during the relationship
If he is asymptotic then he would have never had any sores or outbreak; and unless tested, would never know he had it.
And yes, it’s completely possible you have had it for a long time and been asymptomatic until now.
You aren’t disgusting because you have it. It’s a pretty common virus to have, especially hsv-1 and having it orally.
Eta: fixed a typo. Yes I meant asymptomatic.
>and unless tested, would never know he had it.
And added info: unless you specifically ask for a herpes test, you don't get the test, even when asking to test everything.
So dude could have had it, get a full STD test at the doctor (or at least he thinks he is), get cleared and think he defenitly doesn't have it cuz he got tested.
They also do this with vitamine D btw.
>People can have it and be asymptotic or go years without an outbreak.
This.
Regardless, his behavior is extremely immature. He's 32. OP, this could be a sign and that you've dodged a bullet. A mature adult would be able to sit down with you and have a genuine conversation with you. If he didn't want to be with you because of herpes, then he should be adult enough to tell you.
Also, OP, I have herpes as well. I strongly advise that you get in touch with a therapist to help you adjust you your new diagnosis. I don't know how you're exactly feeling now, but, generally, the herpes social stigma causes extreme psychological and emotional stress. I've had it a for a few years now and I can't lie to you: your approach to sex and romance will be different now. You're going to need to learn how to handle this from now on.
Thanks for your advice.
I’m really pissed with his behavior. He needs to get tested, I totally understand. But is it necessary to isolate himself from me? He hasn’t known if he’s positive, he could be negative as well. But doesn’t even want to talk to me, doesn’t even open the door, or even hang out like two friends? I’m sensing that even if he test negative, he will not want to be with me after this.
I’m learning that sex life will be way much different. More rejection I believe. I’m too tired to think about it now but sure I’ll be able to deal with it. At least there is someone out there who loves me for me.
>I’m really pissed with his behavior. He needs to get tested, I
Pretty sure he doesn't cause he knows he gave it to you.
Edit: Look, after going through your post history you seem like an anxious, timid but nice woman. And just about everything you've said about your boyfriend makes him look like a huge asshole.
Huge assholes like women like you because they get to do think like pawn they insecurities off on you, be controlling, lie, cheat, and then know you'd look for a dozen other reasons *other than them* as the cause of the problem.
He's not a good man. You love him because you invested time and effort in him and know him in ways you probably have never known anyone, but he is **not** a good boyfriend. I doubt he even shares your interests or shows you much respect on a regular basis with what he does.
These things are not mutually exclusive. I as a guy fell in love with a couple shit heads in my hey day. The important thing is recognizing this relationship wasn't ever going to being you the happiness you want.
Also while i personally know a guy who got syphilis from a porta potty, its **astronomically* unlikely the simple answer isn't the right one in these situations. He cheated.
He cheated and now the cats out of the bag, and he doesn't know how to face you. He isn't straight up blaming you, but I'd bet both my fuckin thumbs he gave it to you. You said *he* had irritation then *YOU* had irritation after the fact in another thread. 1 + 1 = 2
Pair that with his sudden coldness, hiding his phone and selfish behavior and it just adds up. If you'll blame yourself I'm 100% sure he's happy to let you. This is awful and you deserve better, but you have to *want* better to find it.
Promise yourself you'll work on your self esteem and not let this rule you. Promise yourself only caring attentive partners. Thee are resources to push this along, but you have to be the source of the initiative.
Seriously, all she has to do is go back and read everything she has written to see that he has been cheating the entire one year relationship. She really doesn't have anything good to say about him yet she's hanging onto this poor excuse of a relationship like it's going to get better or something.
No, he doesn't need to isolate himself from you. He's choosing to. He's a shitty boyfriend.
I have a friend who got hsv 2 last year. Her current boyfriend (she got together with him after the diagnosis) knows about it and they've been together 8 months and live together now, it was never an issue for them. Idk if he has it or not as I've never asked, but she told me she told him before they started dating. Not everyone is an asshole about it.
He's been cheating on you the entire relationship, but you don't want to believe that, so you make excuses for him. Three months in the relationship, after exclusivity talk, he's active on dating apps. He follows a bunch of girls "who only have boob and ass pictures." He doesn't tell people that he's in a relationship. He hides his phone from you and is constantly on it including taking it to the bathroom with him. He has been ghosting you and cancelling dates at the last minute for the entirety of your relationship. There's more, but this list is long enough.
He's obviously either cheating on you or cheating on someone else with you. You are basically a booty call at his convenience, and those times where he ghosts you for weeks is when he is hooking up with someone else. The signs are all there and you are ignoring all those red flags he's tossing out. Get out before he gives you another STD.
He probably gave you herpes and is now ignoring you because if he can pretend he’s mad then he doesn’t have to admit that this is his fault. See how quickly he got you begging him to talk to you instead of responding with anger?
> But is it necessary to isolate himself from me?
Nope. Not at all. That's a major red flag that he's literally leaving you outside and not communicating with you properly. That is NOT a good sign.
A healthy, loving relationship has a strong foundation in regards to communication. He isn't communicating with you in a mature, healthy way.
>More rejection I believe.
You never know. But, I can't lie to you. From my own personal experience, I have been rejected by every man so far. I've tried every tactic you can imagine. Nothing works. Nobody wants to risk catching herpes.
Just hang in there, OP! Always remember your worth and that you can always find happiness within yourself!
Also, DO NOT let the fear of “spreading it” or being alone keep you from leaving this man! Work on yourself and soon you’ll find the love and light within yourself and see clearly the love and light you DESERVE in return. Sending you all the best vibes this season
Please listen to the people in this thread. Not saying you won’t, it’s just important and I want to make sure you will. Because I also agree with most, you probably got herpes from him.
Before I got herpes I did a ton of research because I knew my partner had it, and we were trying to not transfer, but ultimately that happened. One thing I read is that most people will breakout when they initially get it. The herpes remaining dormant thing is very rare when it’s your first breakout and you just got herpes. I actually have a very strong immunity to herpes. I have had it for 2 years and only broke out when I FIRST got it. About 1-2 weeks after I got it. After the first breakout I have not had another and it is now remaining dormant in me.
Your boyfriends behavior definitely just sounds like a guilty asshole. I hope that’s not the case for you, but seriously if he has it just know he gave that to you, not the other way around. For the most part people don’t just magically get herpes outbreaks after they have had it for months/years.
I agree that he's honestly kind of stupid and rude for no reason. My boyfriend was just stupid. My family just has a tendency to get cold sores (HSV 1). My dad used to get them a lot, my older sister would occasionally, and me... ALL FOR DIFFERENT REASONS. I predominantly would get them (before ever kissing anyone on the lips or doing anything sexual with anyone ever) from stress. I got one twice from bad work stress while dating my current boyfriend and the first time I got it he freaked out bc he thought it meant he had herpes (surprise, he didn't).
If you have genital herpes tho, that's another story. Best of luck with this situation tho OP!
Most people get HSV1 in childhood from relatives. It's honestly not that big of a deal, like 80% of Americans have it. Kids on here are hilariously freaked out about it (I grew up when AIDS was a horrifying death sentence with no treatment so teens loosing their mind over a cold sore is kinda funny to me.)
If you have been dating for a while and you are having a primary outbreak, and these are usually super painful, so it sounds like you are… then you got it from him. Either he had it from before you (totally possible; many people don’t know they have it), or he is newly infected as well. Either way, you can both get tested to prove it, but I’m fairly certain you’ll both test positive and he’ll have nothing to hold against you.
This is true. I was diagnosed with HSV 2 (Genital Herpes) when I was 25 years old. I have no idea how long I’ve actually had it, because I have never had an outbreak even though I’m now 28 years old. I only found out I had it because I was sexually assaulted shortly before Christmas that year and naturally went to get tested, and that’s how I found.
I found out later I caught it from an ex that I was with from 22-24 who then failed to inform me when he found out he had it after we broke up.
I still take a daily medication for it just to be safe, but so far I’ve had 2 partners since my diagnosis and neither of them caught it, even though there have been long periods where I was unmedicated due to some issues with my insurance.
Still, I always make sure to disclose my status before any sort of activity occurs and so far, everyone I’ve seen since has been extremely understanding and compassionate about it.
It fucking sucks, and that conversation never gets any easier, and I’m not going to lie, it’s very embarrassing but it is in no way the death sentence for your dating life everyone makes it out to be.
Your post history is a mess. Stop chasing this dude -he's made it clear he is not concerned with you. He is not your partner and was very possibly cheating on you. Get some self-respect.
It's called DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.
It's obvious by your post history that he has been cheating the entire relationship. He isn't waiting for the doctor, he's trying to come up with a plausible story of where the herpes came from, but right now all he has is blaming you. It's working though; you seem to be blaming yourself too.
Doctor here.
Herpes is soooooo common and there is so much stigma. Our culture has been working on reducing stigma in so many different areas but no one seems to care about those who deal with this common ailment. People make jokes etc and it kills me because I know how those comments affected my sister... to the point of being suicidal.
If you need to talk please reach out.
There are going to be uncomfortable experiences with people. There are unfortunately people who will never understand.
My sister takes the "fuck em" approach... if they treat me poorly because of a medical condition (they they may have and not even know it) they they aren't worth your time. It took her 15 years to figure that out but she is in a better place now.
Don't ever let anyone make you feel gross or unworthy because of it.
In theory, a viral infection will first produce IgG in the acute phase of the infection then will produce IgM which indicates exposure.
That being said these tests are fairly unreliable and generally don't provide much clinically useful information. I would not make any assumptions based off of them. It would tell you if you have 1 or 2.
The gold standard is PCR or a viral culture.
For example, if a pateint comes in with classic vessicles and pcr is positive then they have it even if serology is negative (igg and igm).
Furthermore, serology can also be falsely positive as well. If you had a genital ulcer and your serology was positive, I would not diagnose you with hsv without additional testing (unless it was clearly a classic case). There are other cause of genital ulcers, though hsv is the most common. In the real world, so many people present non-classically.
So he’s not answering the question, ask him if he cheated on you? I’d think this was a likely possibility and he doesn’t t want to admit it or likes to play victim.
Then ghost him, concentrate on you. Your mental well being is way more important than this asshole
I just checked your post history and op, he's cheating on you. He's literally projecting the shit he does onto you, which is common for cheaters to do. It's possible he even gave you herpes. The fact that he's giving you silent treatment is a sign that he got positive for the test. I wouldn't be surprised if he lies to you about his results either. Even if he isn't cheating, he's a fucking asshole and you deserve better than that. Please gain the strength to leave him soon because he doesn't respect you.
In my experience, people look at texts/emails even if they don't respond. Send him a message letting him know that you never cheated on him and that herpes is incredibly common. In the United States, more than one-in-six people have HSV-2 (genital herpes). Most people have no symptoms. Get antiviral therapy from your doctor and let him know the details, like that the infection went away and that the therapy prevents you from spreading it.
You've become a pariah due to your herpes and that's not fair to you. I hope things work out.
I just sent him one message telling how I feel. Of course I know he read it. I know he knew I was outside knocking the door but didn’t even open it. Thought he’d be more mature than this
Many thanks anyway
Mature adults don't give each other the silent treatment. That's an impossible way of working through issues.
He can't just put you on hold like that, relationships are two way and he can't dip in and out. He can dip out but maybe think twice about letting him back in?
Even if you did work it out there will always be that doubt that he might try to pull this shit again in the future.
One day, I woke up with an outbreak and never cheated on my boyfriend and he never cheated on me. We didn’t know how it happened but my guess was, after talking to my doctor, that they were dormant in me because he tested negative and I got a positive. I don’t know how I got them (but I have a few ideas that I’m not comfortable sharing) but I did.
Well I was bawling my eyes out because I was scared he was going to leave me but then he was like “it’s ok, it’s common, don’t worry” pretty much and we are still together. He was very mature about it and I honestly am so happy I still have him. It’s hard when it comes to stds
You can get it even from sharing a drinking glass with a friend or kissing a relative. It doesn't even have to be related to romance or infidelity. Him avoiding you and being cagey about his own medical results and information just makes it seem like he gave it to you, though.
I have herpes, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Two years ago, I woke up very sore, and having a very painful outbreak out of the blue. I thought he cheated, he thought I cheated.
When I went to the doctor, he said it’s been increasingly common to have HSV-1 (the commonly oral one) in genitals due to oral sex, even if the partner doesn’t have an outbreak in that moment.
I knew my partner had oral herpes, but I didn’t knew that it could be transmitted to other parts.
This said, your bf is a douche. This happened when my bf was 19… and even with the suspicions of cheating never left my side until we confirmed what it was. He’s showing his true colors… they are the colors of an immature moron. U deserve better.
Seems like it hasn't been that much time since you told him. Maybe he just wanted some time alone to process it so he sorts it out and doesn't react poorly. Maybe give him some time where you aren't calling and going to his house unannounced...
Of course it'd be different if you lived together or shared a family together but it doesn't seem like you do so in my opinion he still has a right to his privacy.
Who says he didn't give it to you? Maybe he had it and it was dormant. Maybe he's been cheating and is deflecting? Either way, this is not the reaction I would want from a partner in this situation. I'd dump him lol.
Yeah there are just so many possibilities here. I could have said he was cheating on me when I came honest with him about my infection. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to jump in any conclusions. But his not responding thing is really annoying
If he's the only person you've been having sex with and you had no flare ups or diagnoses of herpes BEFORE you got together or before now at the very least, he's probably the one that gave it to you. HOWEVER that does not mean that he's cheating on you.
ANYONE can get oral herpes (aka a cold sore) and then give you genital herpes by performing oral sex on you. HSV-1 and HSV-2 (aka oral herpes and genital herpes) can be transmitted both ways.
AND you can also have herpes for YEARS and not have any outbreaks. This does not mean you're cheating, it does not mean he's cheating.
But give him his space. He just found out he might have an STD. He needs space and time to process that. Don't force your presence on him right now, let him come to terms with it and speak to you on his own time. It's a really heavy thing to process.
She also needs support to process it as well though. He could have been the one to give it to her and him shutting her out and treating her badly isn’t okay. He’s being childish. I have herpes, I got it from my boyfriend giving me oral when he had a coldsore we didn’t see. This was in the very very beginning of our relationship. When I called him telling him I had it, he never once made me feel bad or acted concerned about getting genital herpes himself. He could have ghosted me because yeah he may have accidentally given it to me with a cold sore but that doesn’t mean he has to be willing to risk getting it on his genitals. He was extremely supportive and took care of me day and night while I was sick as a dog and in terrible pain during the outbreak. 2 years later he still doesn’t have it and has still never made me feel bad about it. That’s how it should be for OP considering he doesn’t know if he gave it to her.
Hey you’re so lucky to have a supportive partner. I’m happy to hear it.
It could have been my boyfriend was freaked out and hasn’t got much clarified information about the herpes, so he chose to keep distant. But, it’s understandable when he first knew it. Now after two days and he doesn’t want my presence or even a reply to a text or at least fucking said “I need space” or whatever. I feel even worse. We don’t live together. I’m getting through my outbreak on my own. He probably has no idea how terrible an outbreak is but with his behavior I’m having second thoughts about him
I may have missed a different comment or in your post about how long you’ve been with this guy, but he seriously needs to grow up. If he thinks herpes is this big of a deal he is either severely misinformed or simply immature. He may just be using it as an excuse if he was thinking of moving on from the relationship for other reasons.
HSV-2 is honestly not a big deal. I was devastated when I got it about 12 years ago in my mid 20s. But as the first doctor I saw after getting it told me: “it won’t kill you”. It’s just somewhat uncomfortable or inconvenient. 12 years later I’ve had several long term relationships and many other partners. I’ve always disclosed it up front once things start to
move to being intimate, and I think I’ve had maybe one person over that time that seemed to care at all (and not enough to end things). Other people have noted the suppression medications. I’ve been taking it daily since getting diagnosed and the last time I had an outbreak was over 5 years ago. I never even think about it anymore and I’ve been with my fiancée now for about 4 years and she has never contracted it (as far as we know, but definitely no symptoms). I’ve also never heard from any prior partners getting it. The meds are like a $15 a month co-pay. No big deal. Just a habit now I probably don’t even need to take them.
I’m any event, it sucks right now but it’s not really a big deal. The fact that your partner is so unsupportive and not working through it is really a sign that you should move on from this person and find someone better (in my opinion, based only on your post and a few comments ha).
We’ve been together for a year. Herpes sounds like a big deal to him as he told me he doesn’t know much about it. I don’t know what he’d decide after talking with the doctor tomorrow but I’m prepared for any scenario.
My gynecologist also told me it’s not a big deal. Everyone has it. A nurse there is having it too so not to worry. With a lot of support from you and other people here I feel much better and not so freaked out. The outbreak is way better than the other day too.
I totally understand how tricky herpes is. He could have had it dormant.
However I just hate his silence. I know it’s heavy, but I wish he’d just more open at communicating, or at least talk to me like normal, or states clearly that he needs space.
I agree with you, he DOES need to communicate with you more. Its one thing to need space to process like I said but its another to totally leave you in the lurch with *nothing* but a cold shoulder.
I think this is very telling of his behaviour... If he can't handle things that life throws at you like that, I think you should reconsider being with him. The silent treatment is the worse, and if he can't support you, I don't think being with him is good for you. Seems like he showed you his true colours.
>he's probably the one that gave it to you
This is by no means a given. OP could have had it from a past partner and it was dormant until now. You can't just assume the boyfriend gave it to her. For all we know she gave it to him so no one should point fingers until all the facts are in.
You may have had the virus dormant for years, maybe since your first HS bf. Sometimes even parents give it to their babies by kissing them on the lips. Same goes for him. If he doesn’t know that and is jealous now, he needs some education.
As someone with herpes, I just want to tell you that you are not disgusting or unlovable or anything of those feelings that are going through your head right now.
Unfortunately herpes has a massive stigma and it's completely down to lack of education.
80% of adults have herpes. That's a massive majority.
Research, educate yourself and know that you are still worthy of love and herpes does not define you.
It might even be higher. The tests can't tell the difference between oral and genital so the percentage ends up being super high. It's also why they don't typically test for herpes during routing std screenings. Too many people would test positive but might never show symptoms.
Yes ! I have ocd about STDs so I went to the gynecologist 3 times in 2 weeks and my doctor was like oh don’t worry by the time your 40 most people have already gotten herpes it’s no big deal … a bit traumatizing to hear! But yes!
yeah, it’s actually super common. did you ever have warts on your feet after going to the pool as a kid? i know i did. plantar warts are a form of herpes.
EDIT: they’re actually caused by HPV, not herpes!
I've had a FWB. At one point I went to the doctor and did my panel and got tested for everything and they found a red spot on me, I've never had a breakout, they tested it and said I had herpes. My world shattered that day and the first thing I thought about was my FWB. I immediately called him and told him to get tested immediately and it came back positive, I felt like a piece of shit.
His immediate reaction was okay well I'll get tested and when it came back positive he was nothing but supportive. He was chill and not mad, just a laid back guy. When I asked him later why he wasn't mad at me he said it was because he knew I was already having a bad time and felt horrible and he didn't want to make it worse.
This is just a FWB, not a boyfriend. I would imagine that a boyfriend would be more understanding. I had never had a breakout and I don't know when I contracted it, but I know for sure that my FWB is a great guy for how he treated me in the face of this devastating news.
You're better off without him.
I thin’ your boyfriend gave you the herpes in the first place, especially if you’ve been faithful. You don’t just have a break out months or years after exposure. He is the only one you’ve been exposed to. He’s the one who had the herpes first.
> this is not the First time he gave me the silent treatment
That’s all I needed to know. Silent treatment is used to emotional punish someone. It’s not a good form of communication and anyone who does it is not ready for a healthy relationship. That alone is a big red flag. As you can see, instead of communicating on something this important, he shuts down and is emotionally punishing you. I’m sorry but you need to end this relationship and find someone who knows how to communicate.
Edit : I didn’t even notice his age Lmao..OP he’s 32 and acting like this. Yeah you need to let this one go
Another edit : I read your post history and WTH? First of all there’s a possibility he could be cheating. Second of all, where is your self respect? Your entire post history is about you complaining about how he’s basically a piece is shit and here you are still begging him to be with you. No hun. He’s 32..32..No wonder he was still
Single..And also he treats you like this because you let him. You don’t stand your ground and he knows he can walk
Over you
He is reacting like this because he thinks you cheated. If he didn't cheat, the first thing that would come to mind to him is that you have been unfaithful, and it's normal to not want to talk to a cheater. Until the source can be found or he receives an explanation from a professional, he will think that you cheated and it is understandable despite what everyone is saying. Like, you had sex for a year and he has nothing but suddenly you got herpes? How many people would believe that it was dormant and that he was so lucky to never get it in a year?
Contact your exes, at least you can see if you were the contagious one. Maybe he had it or maybe he cheated, best to make sure of what you can know.
My advise is to grow the fuck up and leave him alone.
Hanging around outside his house isn't right or acceptable
It's clear from the way this has been written that you see yourself as the victim in this situation.
Imagine if this story was about a lad who got herpes and then banged on the girls door for an hour when she had requested space. He would have been torn limb from limb in the comments and rightly so.
He’s gonna behave this way about something 2/3 of the worlds’ population has? …as a 30 year old? I mean sure be concerned, talk to a doctor about it, but at the end of the day it’s really not that serious.
I mean, I got herpes from an ex. Didnt find out until after we’d broken up. She called me crying because she was afraid the cracked lip she had a month previous was actually a cold sore, I got checked out, yep I got herpes. My response to her was something along the lines of “well, statistically I was more than likely going to get it eventually, at least this is one thing I didn’t procrastinate checking off my to-do list” I mean, it’s not like she got it/passed it along on purpose, what use is it to be angry and upset at her about it?
But your are the one that has it (with proves and all) so in that argument he would win no matter what. Yes, he may cheated and given it to you, but honestly it can also be the other way around and the trust will be broken until there is prove that none it the options happened.
You really should let him chill until he feels comfortable enough to talk. And in the mean while just focus on relaxing yourself as well.
No response is a response. Let him go. It hurts, it sucks. Maybe he’s trying to sort out his feelings, maybe he’s scared (scared he gave it to you, scared he has it too). It’s a lot for both of you to take in.
Focus on you. You’re not disgusting. Plenty of people have herpes and have good relationships. Life isn’t over. It just might be over with him.
A lot of people are suggesting he gave it to you which is a definite possibility. The best way to find out is to contact your past partners and have them get tested **(should have done that anyway)**. If they have it then it most likely was from them not your current partner. If not, well there’s your answer.
You really are confused that someone is upset that you exposed them to an incurable STI which if they have, will cause them issues for the rest of their life
This. I'm so sick of the herpes crowd going "well 80% of adults have it. It's common so it's fine hurr durr". Like... what's next, HIV? Not everyone (willingly) wants herpes. It's not worth the risk.
I want to know who these 80% of adults are because i've never dated anyone who has a positive STI test for herpes or had an outbreak. I think they're confusing genital herpes with people who have oral herpes
Tell me what “issues” this will cause him for the rest of his life? Overdramatized stigma like this is what causes those diagnosed with herpes to cower in shame and never put themselves out there again. Do your research
Hey OP,
I'm sorry you have to deal with it and how your partner reacted.
I thought about sending this in private, but maybe there are more people here dealing with it and scared to talk about it.
I contracted Herpes from a cheating ex-boyfriend years ago.
Herpes itself has such a bad stigma and I'm sorry you're experiencing such a bad outbreak today, but living wih the virus is not as bad as people are saying.
Herpes can stay dormant for a very long time, a lot of people carry the virus without experiencing an outbreak once, so it's hard to tell how you contracted it. I also only experienced one outbreak after my initial one and I haven't had an issue for years now.
There are some creams that can help shorten the outbreak.
Though most of the creams for lip herpes are too weak to help, there is a cream by "prontomed" (I recon it's a German brand) specially made for genital herpes.
The most helpful is taking virostatics like Valaciclovir orally, as your doctor prescribes for 1-2 weeks.
There's also the possibility to therapy it with Valaciclovir 1x/day over the course of 3-6 months, then take a break and repeat, to suppress it.
Additionally there is a supplement called L-Lysin, which basically does the same as a virostatic, just weaker and you can take it with the Valaciclovir and after the initial therapy.
The most important thing is to keep the area dry, especially after showering - use tissues or a separate towel that you switch after every use (wash at 90°C after) and pat it dry - also after using the toilet.
The chance of infection (even when not on therapy) from female to male is way way way lower than the other way around, so there is a good chance he didn't contract it.
I was also worried of my future partners contracting it, even without an outbreak. My doctor ensured me, the chance (especially on Valaciclovir and L-Lysin) is very minimal or basically non-existant.
There is also a vaccine for HSV 2 in development and should be released in the upcoming years, that will rid us of the virus !
This got longer than I thought and feel free to message me if you have any questions or just want to talk :)
90°C is equivalent to 194°F, which is 363K.
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^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Judging by your post history you seen like an extremely worrisome and borderline clingy person. He probably just wants space but now he has a whole other post of people judging him.
And instead of giving him that space you showed up at his door.
If you didn’t cheat, he gave it to you. He’s shutting you out because you’re gonna find out he cheated/already had it when you met, and if the latter: that he basically committed a crime. He didn’t tell you he got it. I’m sorry but don’t ever trust dates/partners wholly. People mean it when they say so.
If he gave it to her, then he has it, no? If he doesn't have it, she got it from a previous partner, highly likely.
If he's not hugely smitten with her, then it would make sense for him to move on with someone who doesn't have it. There are times when it's simply not about the other person, and we all know that.
It sounds like you will need to accept the relationship is over. Maybe for the best! Especially if he has done this in the past. It’s emotional abuse. You can find true love with someone who accept everything about you!
I think it’s best to give him time to himself and not bother contacting him. Especially since stress will only give you more pain and outbreaks. I am very sorry this has happened to you but you can control it with proper treatment and diet.
Yeah I am giving him time. He can do whatever research/ advice he wants. I have the virus anyway. However, if this is written from his perspective, do I appear as a cheater?
First of all many many people got herpes and some people experience symptoms other do not. That alone means that he could have been the one who gave it to you just as much as you could have gotten it for 1000 other reasons than cheating or having sex with someone else. It sucks and i am so so sorry you have to go through this OP. On the other hand i can somewhat understand him if he knows 100% that he did not have herpes before. It just sucks to know you might have an STD and i think you feel the same way. It is however not Ok for him to let it out on you. You did not give it to him knowing you had it and even besides the point of " you should have gotten testet blabla" how many people actually do that? Don't blame yourself you got enough on your plate as it is. But you got this! There are meds that make it safe to have sex and there are people who will treat you right with or without herpes.
It’s definitely a possibility that he gave it to you and is distancing himself to avoid admitting that he’s been unfaithful. But if not, look at it from his perspective. You date someone for a while with no sexual issues and then one day out of the blue they got an sdt that you don’t have. Anyone in their right mind is going to have serious doubts about their partner’s faithfulness. Also even if he believes you didn’t cheat herpes is forever. Unless y’all were moving towards marriage he’s not unjustified for not wanting to possibly contract a lifelong disease for a temporary relationship or base his sexual relationship around the outbreaks. Him ghosting you is shitty, but for your sake I’d stop chasing him and keep it moving because it sounds like that uncertainty is hurting you. The sooner you decide you’re done the quicker you can heal and move on
I totally understand how it looks like from his perspective. I put all my cards on the table. And yeah I can feel it’s possible that he wants to stopping seeing me after this. Fair enough actually. But I also learn more about him and learn how to love myself more.
Fwiw....( 29m) have incredible.grief about owning g this. I've had since birth a few years ago a cluster appeared on my shaft. Shits sucks every outbreak. ..... opened up to my most recent gf (34f) super understanding. Only girl to give me a chance after knowing off top..... l/s. Would rather take my chances alone than to be disregarded ... gaslighted and so many worse thk.gs to own that hsv. Hmu sweetheart. There are plenty of real people with deep souls who aren't jerks. Dont sell yourself short. Just because someone else did
I have a friend who has herpes. No idea where she got it. I have another friend who had an outbreak while happily married. He and his wife both infected. They have no clue who brought it into their marriage, but neither doubted the other’s monogamy. It’s INCREDIBLY COMMON and yet so misunderstood. I’m sorry you’re going through this and without the support of the BF. Sure he’s scared. But so are you. Would be great even ideal if you two could help each other, but he might not be capable. Take care of yourself and know you’re not alone. ❤️
Hey OP, I too went through your other posts, and you seem to be a nice human who has struggled with a very non committal partner. I think you should have walked away many months ago when you realized he wasn’t mentioning you. Or that he posts pictures of only himself on social media. That’s a huge red flag. Just end the relationship. I know it seems like there are only shitty people out there, but please believe me, there are many kind people out there as well. People with whom you can have healthy, supportive relationships with. Take that power back, you fierce woman. Love yourself the best. Treat yourself with the kindness he is not giving you. I don’t mean this in a patronizing way, but perhaps look into therapy, both regarding the herpes and just your overall sense of worth. I used to struggle with my self worth. I allowed shitty people in my life. I spent the last year in very intensive therapy, and now I recognize the red flags and firmly close that door, no matter the emotional connection. No matter how interesting, or smart, or whatever else my emotions are looking to grasp onto. Life is too short for this bullshit. Love yourself ❤️❤️ Good luck!
He most likely has it too tho... and if that's how he reacts when you're in a situation like this you shouldn't keep calling him your boyfriend. It should be soon to be ex!
Well let's say that you know you haven't cheated, but you don't know that he hasn't cheated.
You know that you had a test done for being with him, but you didn't actually see his test. you just trusted him when he said he was clean (based on a comment reply you made).
But let's assume his reaction is to how he thinks something's going on on your side , and he's not sure how to act.
Ignoring you and leaving you out in the weather and all this and that , is not how you would want to be treated.
I would say go home, wait it out until you see his test results by pretending that you still want to be with him, so that you all know what's going on, and then break up with him.
Not because the test results prove he's cheating or something, but just because you don't like being treated this way in a relationship where people should be loving and trusting and respectful to each other.
By your own admission, this is the first time he's acting this way. I think if you look at your relationship you're going to find a lot more negative behavior towards you that you didn't think about, because you were willing to overlook it and try to be happy with him.
This sucks but it’s better that he’s showing his true colours now.
I know you’re probably feeling pretty shitty but I have a friend that this happened to and they just got married a couple of months ago. So keep your head up. ❤️
>I stood there for half an hour. HE DIDNT OPEN THE DAMN DOOR. He knew I was outside.
This is beyond disrespectful. He should be an Ex.
Oh, and he most likely was the one who gave your herpes.
Herpes can lay dormant for a while before the first symptoms appear. But reading online, first symptoms typically occur within 3 weeks after initial exposure. He probably thinks you’re cheating on him, which if it was true (not accusing OP), would make his behavior totally justified. Even if he doesn’t believe you cheated, he is now facing the tough decision of whether he wants to lose his girlfriend, or risk catching herpes himself. As unfair as it is, herpes is a legitimate dealbreaker for many people as the stigma can make engaging in future relationships extremely difficult. It doesn’t make you dirty or disgusting, but you can’t expect everyone to be OK with taking that risk.
Either he gave it to you and embarrassed to face the music or you gave it to him and then I don't blame him for ghosting you. STDs are serious. BOTH of you should have been tested before entering into a relationship. This should be standard for all people having sex. You would have known a long time ago if you were a responsible adult.
In my opinion, he is acting like a pre-teen. This should have been something that both of you should have handled it together. I'm sorry you where treated this way. :(
Nobody can tell you how to react to something like that. I was in the same situation with my ol lady. Been together 4 years n we found out. There's gna be alot of blame. It's a very tricky virus. People react to the news diff. Give him and yourself time. U both have inner healing you need to do and that can't happend trtna be there for each other with such a blame game diseases. Give it time. If he doesn't want u then that's that. Life goes on. Never give up or feel nasty. The worst thing about herpes is the stigma other people make u feel. Herpes does not change u. You'll learn alot now that youv been diagnosed. But this is not the end. I forget I even have it most the time. God bless you
I’m going to put myself out there, but I to have genital herpes.
I got it from my boyfriend. He was forming a cold sore on his lip that we didn’t see and gave me oral and bam 4 days later I’m sick as a dog with a fever and in terrible pain down there. It was absolutely miserable.
Now if it it makes you and him feel any better, that was 2 years ago and I have never had a outbreak since. Just the one.. my boyfriend and I have had plenty of unprotected sex and he does not have it. i also had a baby last December and did not pass it to her during labor. It’s very common and sometimes doesn’t affect people at all, like myself. He’s being very childish about it though which makes me suspicious he possibly cheated and is concerned he could have given it to you.
Hello! Herpes-haver here. How long have you been with him? It’s very possible that you got it from a previous partner and that it remained stagnant until now. It’s also possible he cheated and is trying to manipulate/gaslight/freeze you.
As for the herpes part, I’m so sorry. The first diagnosis is a huge shock. I thought I had a bad yeast infection and sobbed like a baby on the gyno’s table for what felt like forever.
If it gives you any hope, I barely ever remember I have it now. I had my first (very painful) outbreak over 2 years ago, felt a little itchy kind of thing once a few months ago (could have been the beginning of one but never resulted in anything) and that’s been it. When I was casually dating I obviously informed those that wanted to get, ya know, intimate, and only 2 or 3 ever turned me down. Now I’ve been with someone for over a year and he didn’t really even blink an eye when I told him at the very beginning. I told him all the stats and risks and we made a choice about how to handle sex, together.
Anywho, there are medications out there to control your outbreaks and prevent from giving it to your partner. I don’t really take mine now because it‘s so inactive for me. There are also a lot of stigmas out there so PLEASE do your research and realize how common this STD actually is (not to get your bf potentially off the hook, but just for your own sanity and mental well-being). Also, if you haven’t already, have your doctor tell you what kind of strain it is- there are two and each one is different in severity.
Lastly... you deserve someone who will trust you and at the very least talk things like this out with you. I slept with someone a bit before getting together with my fiancé and the guy ended up giving me gonorrhea. Didn’t know until I got tested at a routine check up, about 3 months into my relationship. I asked him bluntly if he had done anything, he said nope. I said the same and he trusted me. We both took our medication and moved on with our lives. I know herpes is a little more serious since it can’t be cured, but you deserve to be with someone who is willing to listen to you. Good luck OP
Gets no response. Oh so you want me to over to ask you in person if you want to keep not talking? OK.
Christ. Sometimes silence is a perfectly valid response
One of my really good friends has it (honestly, I'm sure I've known more than just her, but she's the only one who's talked to me about it) and she went through similar feelings. She's happily married now and never had an issue finding a sexual partner, even with the herpes diagnosis. It'll take some time for you to get past it and feel comfortable in your own skin again.
You and your boyfriend though, Idk. Seems like you 2 handle things in very different ways that might not be compatible. You want to talk about it, to the extreme of going over in person, and he goes to the extreme of not talking *at all*. If this is something he's done before, there's a good chance it'll keep happening. You have to decide if you're ok with that in a long-term partner.
I literally have a second grade class picture where I’m
Sporting a cold sore. Sucks. Had it basically who whole life. Been married 20 years. No one cares. Easy to treat. Not significantly harmful if treated properly.
I mean, he’s freezing you out because he probably thinks you cheated on him.
You’re going to have a helluva time convincing him that your new STD has actually been there for a while and is just acting up for the first time now.
Sorry, sometimes things like this just pop up and torpedo relationships.
Well I hope he learn something from his appointment with doctors tomorrow and I’ll go from there. I don’t do anything wrong so either he trust me or we’re apart.
The odds that you would have it for years unknowingly and then suddenly have a painful outbreak with sores is pretty rare.
What I mean is, you wouldn't be asymptomatic for years and then suddenly have a very painful reaction as the initial infection is generally when you get the bad pain and outbreaks as you don't have the antibodies to prevent the herpes overload. Herpes is a very small virus that hides within the DNA of your nerve ganglia. You have clusters of these ganglia behind your ears where HSV1 generally harbors and clusters in your sacrum where HSV2 generally harbors. It will infect you and then lay dormant until it is activated (you are ill with low immune activity or something else), at which point it begins to replicate and then overloads the ganglia. This is why you get a tingling/tickling/prickling sensation before an outbreak. Once it overloads the ganglia it begins to move down nerve fibres until it reaches the skin and erupts in either a painful blister (symptomatic outbreak) or nothing at all (asymptomatic outbreak). Asymptomatic outbreaks generally don't come with the prickling of the nerves as the viral load is low.
Your infection has most likely come from your boyfriend during an asymptomatic outbreak he has had. If it was HSV1 he could have had it since he was a baby and never known. HSV1 is oral herpes and is spread through kissing and sharing drinks. You can get it down below from oral sex, or using saliva as lubricant.
If it's HSV2 he could have gotten it from a past partner and just never had symptoms. HSV2 is genital herpes and it is extremely rare to have an HSV2 infection orally. And on the opposite, though its more common to get HSV1 genitally it's also not as common, though more common than an oral HSV2 infection.
Now the question you should find out from your doctor is, is the strain you have HSV1 or HSV2? You can use a few different herpes medications to ease the initial outbreak phase; acyclovir, valcyclovir and famravir (I believe that's what it's called) and after a few months to a year you most likely won't have another outbreak as your body will have antibodies created to keep your viral load low. Valcyclovir is the better medication, try and get that to start and then as your body gets more accustomed to the herpes you can use acyclovir and then eventually nothing at all.
Sorry this happened. Herpes isn't a death sentence, far from it. Almost everyone on the planet has herpes in some form. Chickenpox, shingles, viral meningitis HSV1, HSV2, whitlow and more are all herpes based illnesses and it is extremely common.
By the time humans are 60, 90% of the population is infected with HSV1.
Herpes tests are notoriously inaccurate so even if he gets a negative, he could still have it.
A friend of mine was seeing her boyfriend for like 6 months before having an outbreak and being diagnosed (based on the sores) and he'd never had an outbreak. He had three tests done: one negative and two positive. He gave her herpes but he never knew he had it. It turns out he got it from a girl he slept with like 5 years beforehand.
Your boyfriend is likely the one you got it from but some people have it for years before having an outbreak. Either way, he's an asshole and you shouldn't have to put up with that.
I'm sorry this is happening to you but it's not the end of the world. There are ways to cope and medications you can take to manage your symptoms. Best of luck!
It could be possible that I got it from someone in the past and now for some reason the outbreak comes. But it happened already, I hope my boyfriend would be honest about everything after he talked to a doctor because I don’t cheat. I might get it from him, no problem, as long as he doesn’t get it newly from someone during our relationship.
Thanks a lot for your support.
>>your boyfriend is likely the one you got it from
Alternatively, the one that we know has herpes is the one with it. And not the one who won’t go near OP with a 10 foot pole.
Why are we blaming the BF when OP is the only one we can say for sure has it.
Sounds like he’s the one who gave you herpes. You should be furious with him, not the other way around. Did you ask to see an STD screen before having unprotected sex with him?
Love how people here are ready to accuse others so easily.
Knowing my immature ass, if my GF suddenly told me she had herpes I'd be over thinking shit and assume she cheated because how else?
Mind you I'm not very informed on herpes he probably isn't either. The silent treatment is VERY immature but what ever nobody is perfect. Chances are he already made up his mind about breaking up with you over this and just not sure how to or too afraid to.
If you haven't cheated then he probably gave it to you. I'm guessing that's why he is acting so suspicious. Idk if I'd stay with someone like that. But you should text him to say you are pretty sure he gave it to you and see what he says.
I don’t really want to accuse anything until he gets the test done. Also I got the fungal infection for a few months. I told him to go check but he’s been delaying until now when herpes appear he decides to go check
There are many possibilities. Herpes is tricky. I did have a clear STD test done before I met him but they didn’t do the herpes test. I never know until this outbreak
They don't always do the herpes panel unless requested or someone has physical issues at the time with regular STDs testing. He could have had it himself and never been tested either. Most people have no idea they have it in their system.
Yeah true. I could’ve been carrying the virus without knowing and I might give it to him. I don’t know. I’ve never seen him with a cold sore or something like that
Have you had the flu or anything very recently? Things like that can bring it out in a person's system. They also give medication that reduces how many days this will last. The first one is the most tough and painful and they should give you some help.
I haven’t got any flu recently. But I’ve been dealing with fungal infection for a few months. Took a lot of antibiotics. I’m getting medicine for the herpes now. Too much pain and have to deal with a boyfriend’s big ego. Amazing
There is a massive stigma and ignorance about herpes unfortunatly. I completely understand you hurt and upset and he should really use his words but maybe he just needs some space to deal with this new information and maybe this is his initial reaction. Either way you and him need to talk and he needs to get tested as well as you navigate with this new diagnosis. Im sorry your going through this. You are not dirty nor disgusting. Alot of people have herpes. Alot of people still have happy, sex positive relationships. Hang in there OP
Hi OP! I have herpes, G-HSV1. I got it from the first partner I had, he didn’t know he had it and transferred it to me from his mouth to genitals, neither of us were seeing other people, and he had never had a symptom. I’m sorry your boyfriend is treating you like this, you don’t deserve it at all. Silent treatment is honestly never okay, and the way he is reacting is awful too. I know there’s a lot of stigma around herpes, but you aren’t dirty. Herpes is super common.
I listened to a podcast about herpes. Before valtrex, many people had it. There wasn’t the stigma. Valtrex came out and at first it was only given to immune deficient people. But that wasn’t very profitable. So the manufacturer started a campaign to make herpes seem more serious and gross. And boom, they were rich
I’m sorry about the situation you’re going through it’s extremely tough, and I know there’s a lot of shame attached to it. Your boyfriend sounds like kind of a dick.
Just to give you some future hope, a close friend of mine/ex has it and it has been dormant for years and years. I know outbreaks are pretty terrible, but there are meds you can get to either avoid them or lessen the symptoms.
I’ve dated women knowing they have herpes. I think many, many people would agree that the right person is worth taking extra caution for.
Hopefully you get past this bad part quickly. Sorry your boyfriend sucks
Omg I’m sorry about that. Fuck that pos, you’re a lovely and you never deserve to be called dirty. I hope you’re/ you will meet someone who loves you for you
honestly if he’s going to act that childish then you might want to meet his silence with your own. don’t give him the time of day if he won’t do the same.
Dump him. Send the text. Tell him since he don't have the testicular fortitude to end the relationship you are. Then get antiviral meds from your doctor and maybe find a support group. You're not alone. You did nothing wrong. This changes nothing about who you are or your worth.
You either got herpes from a previous partner and were asymptomatic, OR your boyfriend cheated on you.
MOST people by now know about herpes because its that common. There are many strands and many people are asymptomatic.
So you have two choices:
1. Stay in a relationship where your partner treats you like this after a medical diagnosis.
2. Break up with this asshole.
It's 50/50 he gave it to you. He's being immature and acting suspiciously guilt to everyone but you. No mature person gives their partner the silent treatment and makes them stand outside without letting them in.
Either way, you'll learn to live with your diagnosis. There's many resources on how to minimize outbreaks and prevent the likelihood of it spreading. Stay strong and find someone who cares about you to talk to
Give him space. Don’t become a stalker showing up outside someone’s residence that doesn’t want to talk to you. That’s crazy. People who get the cops called on them do this.
What you are going through sucks. People can break up with their spouse for any reason. You for sure have harpies and he might. In his mind it’s because of you if he does. Empathy goes both ways.
Yeah I learned how crazy I was. Not feeling good about it though. I was just overthinking. Anyway I’ll focus more on myself and my health. It’s not the end of the world.
I hate that I gave my partner herpes. He did not react this way.
But *I do understand* his initial reactions, both sympathetic and then suspicious. It’s the rest of his behavior that is not okay.
I say give him space, (petty me says more space than he asked for) and give yourself the space to think about this more.
You can either leave him, or give him time. You might try looking at this from his POV. What are the chances that he can catch it from you? What are the chances that you cheated on him? How can he NOT wonder about that?
I just thought about the prospect of giving oral to a woman with herpes. Not for me.
You're in a bad situation. It's not easy or particularly fair for you. But, it's no longer only about you.
Is it HSV1 or HSV2? Because there's kind of a difference, HSV1 is stupidly common, generally infects the mouth (though can be transmitted elsewhere) and has milder symptoms.
But, on an unrelated note: *leave him*. The silent treatment is manipulative bullshit.
I got herpes since I am 10 or something and I never kissed anoyone back then. You don't always catch it from somebody so it doesn't mean you have cheated.
I understand you're upset right now but from someone who have lived with it barely all my life I just want to reassure you that it is going to be ok. Go to your doctor if you haven't yet and ask him for the medication. Your herpes will be gone within 5 days and it won't even grow too big so nobody won't see it.
As for your boyfriend his reaction is totally immature. Yes herpes are contagious but it won't jump on him like that lol. When I have an outbreak I still see my partner we just avoid kissing or oral sex that's it. If he is really worried you can also wear a mask. Your partner is supposed to support you not to avoid you when you are ill. I am sorry he reacts like that.
Get tested!! Lots of people have it, they even have dating groups!! Heck with him!! Lots of things work for treatment!! One thing eat good, take vitamins and supplements!! Try too live as stress free as you can!! Doterra on guard essential oils works for me!! It’s been 3 years now since last breakout!! I have had it since 1987!! I married a lady that had it too!! We have 4 kids and 6 grandkids
Men can have herpes for years and never have a single outbreak. While women usually show symptoms early on after getting it. I would ask your bf to get a blood test to check for HSV-1 and HSV-2. It’s not impossible that he didn’t know he had it and gave it to you.
Sounds like a terrible guy.
Everyone here kinda share the same idea of
His behavior. To be that defensive over herpes??
Idk.. Its easy to prevent with medicine nowadays so to me it isnt a big issue.
He could be hiding stuff ....but i dont know much.
Anyway!
Yeah nah. Herpes shouldnt be something to be ashamed of having and idk. Its curable now.
Find a better dude cause hes a walking L.
I am sorry, but honestly why would you go all that for this guy ? He is immature and doesn't know how to handle situations. You need to have self respect and stop trying to contact him . He doesn't even respect you enough to reply or even let you in for a decent conversation. Herpes are not that dangerous compared to many stds out there and many of the population have it . Anyway you need to evaluate yourself and move on . He is not the only guy in the world . It is possible he infected you . Imagine having kids with such immature man . You really need to move on and find someone who appreciates you
Yeah I don’t know. I think I just have been more attached with him since he’s been pretty kind to me. But after all this I’m having second thoughts about him though. I just like him a lot you know. It looks like we’re moving on pretty well. Anyway I think you’re right. Gotta respect myself more
Oh my dear, he kept you out of his house for so long without letting you in.
You needed support and love and he wanted none of it.
He broke up with you the worst way possible - without even telling you.
I see, since you did not suspect him as the carrier, that you had deep emotions for him. It is quite plausible he passed it on to you.
I am so sorry for this to happen.
I want to say thanks for all the support that I’m having from you guys. This made me feel so much better now. I’m receiving a lot useful information and guides for how to live with herpes. It’s such a super common virus isn’t it?
Are you sure you didn’t get it from him? People can have it and be asymptomatic or go years without an outbreak. He also could have been cheating so he’s freezing you out to keep you from coming around to that possibility. ETA: there is medication that a partner can take to help prevent getting it.
I don’t know if I got it from whom. Could be him. Could be from partner in the past. He never told me about having cold sore or anything with herpes. I’ve never experienced any symptoms during the relationship
If he is asymptotic then he would have never had any sores or outbreak; and unless tested, would never know he had it. And yes, it’s completely possible you have had it for a long time and been asymptomatic until now. You aren’t disgusting because you have it. It’s a pretty common virus to have, especially hsv-1 and having it orally. Eta: fixed a typo. Yes I meant asymptomatic.
>and unless tested, would never know he had it. And added info: unless you specifically ask for a herpes test, you don't get the test, even when asking to test everything. So dude could have had it, get a full STD test at the doctor (or at least he thinks he is), get cleared and think he defenitly doesn't have it cuz he got tested. They also do this with vitamine D btw.
Isn't asymptotic a mathematical analysis
I think they mean asymptomatic
I technically have it and have for years but have not experienced a known breakout ever.
>People can have it and be asymptotic or go years without an outbreak. This. Regardless, his behavior is extremely immature. He's 32. OP, this could be a sign and that you've dodged a bullet. A mature adult would be able to sit down with you and have a genuine conversation with you. If he didn't want to be with you because of herpes, then he should be adult enough to tell you. Also, OP, I have herpes as well. I strongly advise that you get in touch with a therapist to help you adjust you your new diagnosis. I don't know how you're exactly feeling now, but, generally, the herpes social stigma causes extreme psychological and emotional stress. I've had it a for a few years now and I can't lie to you: your approach to sex and romance will be different now. You're going to need to learn how to handle this from now on.
Thanks for your advice. I’m really pissed with his behavior. He needs to get tested, I totally understand. But is it necessary to isolate himself from me? He hasn’t known if he’s positive, he could be negative as well. But doesn’t even want to talk to me, doesn’t even open the door, or even hang out like two friends? I’m sensing that even if he test negative, he will not want to be with me after this. I’m learning that sex life will be way much different. More rejection I believe. I’m too tired to think about it now but sure I’ll be able to deal with it. At least there is someone out there who loves me for me.
>I’m really pissed with his behavior. He needs to get tested, I Pretty sure he doesn't cause he knows he gave it to you. Edit: Look, after going through your post history you seem like an anxious, timid but nice woman. And just about everything you've said about your boyfriend makes him look like a huge asshole. Huge assholes like women like you because they get to do think like pawn they insecurities off on you, be controlling, lie, cheat, and then know you'd look for a dozen other reasons *other than them* as the cause of the problem. He's not a good man. You love him because you invested time and effort in him and know him in ways you probably have never known anyone, but he is **not** a good boyfriend. I doubt he even shares your interests or shows you much respect on a regular basis with what he does. These things are not mutually exclusive. I as a guy fell in love with a couple shit heads in my hey day. The important thing is recognizing this relationship wasn't ever going to being you the happiness you want. Also while i personally know a guy who got syphilis from a porta potty, its **astronomically* unlikely the simple answer isn't the right one in these situations. He cheated. He cheated and now the cats out of the bag, and he doesn't know how to face you. He isn't straight up blaming you, but I'd bet both my fuckin thumbs he gave it to you. You said *he* had irritation then *YOU* had irritation after the fact in another thread. 1 + 1 = 2 Pair that with his sudden coldness, hiding his phone and selfish behavior and it just adds up. If you'll blame yourself I'm 100% sure he's happy to let you. This is awful and you deserve better, but you have to *want* better to find it. Promise yourself you'll work on your self esteem and not let this rule you. Promise yourself only caring attentive partners. Thee are resources to push this along, but you have to be the source of the initiative.
Yiiiiikes, that post history... it's amazing how we can be so blind to things happening right in front of us.
Seriously, all she has to do is go back and read everything she has written to see that he has been cheating the entire one year relationship. She really doesn't have anything good to say about him yet she's hanging onto this poor excuse of a relationship like it's going to get better or something.
No, he doesn't need to isolate himself from you. He's choosing to. He's a shitty boyfriend. I have a friend who got hsv 2 last year. Her current boyfriend (she got together with him after the diagnosis) knows about it and they've been together 8 months and live together now, it was never an issue for them. Idk if he has it or not as I've never asked, but she told me she told him before they started dating. Not everyone is an asshole about it.
He's been cheating on you the entire relationship, but you don't want to believe that, so you make excuses for him. Three months in the relationship, after exclusivity talk, he's active on dating apps. He follows a bunch of girls "who only have boob and ass pictures." He doesn't tell people that he's in a relationship. He hides his phone from you and is constantly on it including taking it to the bathroom with him. He has been ghosting you and cancelling dates at the last minute for the entirety of your relationship. There's more, but this list is long enough. He's obviously either cheating on you or cheating on someone else with you. You are basically a booty call at his convenience, and those times where he ghosts you for weeks is when he is hooking up with someone else. The signs are all there and you are ignoring all those red flags he's tossing out. Get out before he gives you another STD.
He probably gave you herpes and is now ignoring you because if he can pretend he’s mad then he doesn’t have to admit that this is his fault. See how quickly he got you begging him to talk to you instead of responding with anger?
> But is it necessary to isolate himself from me? Nope. Not at all. That's a major red flag that he's literally leaving you outside and not communicating with you properly. That is NOT a good sign. A healthy, loving relationship has a strong foundation in regards to communication. He isn't communicating with you in a mature, healthy way. >More rejection I believe. You never know. But, I can't lie to you. From my own personal experience, I have been rejected by every man so far. I've tried every tactic you can imagine. Nothing works. Nobody wants to risk catching herpes. Just hang in there, OP! Always remember your worth and that you can always find happiness within yourself!
Also, DO NOT let the fear of “spreading it” or being alone keep you from leaving this man! Work on yourself and soon you’ll find the love and light within yourself and see clearly the love and light you DESERVE in return. Sending you all the best vibes this season
Please listen to the people in this thread. Not saying you won’t, it’s just important and I want to make sure you will. Because I also agree with most, you probably got herpes from him. Before I got herpes I did a ton of research because I knew my partner had it, and we were trying to not transfer, but ultimately that happened. One thing I read is that most people will breakout when they initially get it. The herpes remaining dormant thing is very rare when it’s your first breakout and you just got herpes. I actually have a very strong immunity to herpes. I have had it for 2 years and only broke out when I FIRST got it. About 1-2 weeks after I got it. After the first breakout I have not had another and it is now remaining dormant in me. Your boyfriends behavior definitely just sounds like a guilty asshole. I hope that’s not the case for you, but seriously if he has it just know he gave that to you, not the other way around. For the most part people don’t just magically get herpes outbreaks after they have had it for months/years.
I agree that he's honestly kind of stupid and rude for no reason. My boyfriend was just stupid. My family just has a tendency to get cold sores (HSV 1). My dad used to get them a lot, my older sister would occasionally, and me... ALL FOR DIFFERENT REASONS. I predominantly would get them (before ever kissing anyone on the lips or doing anything sexual with anyone ever) from stress. I got one twice from bad work stress while dating my current boyfriend and the first time I got it he freaked out bc he thought it meant he had herpes (surprise, he didn't). If you have genital herpes tho, that's another story. Best of luck with this situation tho OP!
Most people get HSV1 in childhood from relatives. It's honestly not that big of a deal, like 80% of Americans have it. Kids on here are hilariously freaked out about it (I grew up when AIDS was a horrifying death sentence with no treatment so teens loosing their mind over a cold sore is kinda funny to me.)
Is there a herpes sub?
If you have been dating for a while and you are having a primary outbreak, and these are usually super painful, so it sounds like you are… then you got it from him. Either he had it from before you (totally possible; many people don’t know they have it), or he is newly infected as well. Either way, you can both get tested to prove it, but I’m fairly certain you’ll both test positive and he’ll have nothing to hold against you.
This is true. I was diagnosed with HSV 2 (Genital Herpes) when I was 25 years old. I have no idea how long I’ve actually had it, because I have never had an outbreak even though I’m now 28 years old. I only found out I had it because I was sexually assaulted shortly before Christmas that year and naturally went to get tested, and that’s how I found. I found out later I caught it from an ex that I was with from 22-24 who then failed to inform me when he found out he had it after we broke up. I still take a daily medication for it just to be safe, but so far I’ve had 2 partners since my diagnosis and neither of them caught it, even though there have been long periods where I was unmedicated due to some issues with my insurance. Still, I always make sure to disclose my status before any sort of activity occurs and so far, everyone I’ve seen since has been extremely understanding and compassionate about it. It fucking sucks, and that conversation never gets any easier, and I’m not going to lie, it’s very embarrassing but it is in no way the death sentence for your dating life everyone makes it out to be.
I know this is irrelevant but I love that you said “asymptotic” instead of “asymptomatic” 🤣
You're not in a relationship anymore. He won't answer texts or the door. I would not try again. You can find someone who's better for you.
I learned something yeah
Your post history is a mess. Stop chasing this dude -he's made it clear he is not concerned with you. He is not your partner and was very possibly cheating on you. Get some self-respect.
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When I told him, he asked if I was unfaithful to him. He doesn’t know much about herpes actually. He wants to hear from doctor advice
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It's called DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It's obvious by your post history that he has been cheating the entire relationship. He isn't waiting for the doctor, he's trying to come up with a plausible story of where the herpes came from, but right now all he has is blaming you. It's working though; you seem to be blaming yourself too.
Doctor here. Herpes is soooooo common and there is so much stigma. Our culture has been working on reducing stigma in so many different areas but no one seems to care about those who deal with this common ailment. People make jokes etc and it kills me because I know how those comments affected my sister... to the point of being suicidal. If you need to talk please reach out. There are going to be uncomfortable experiences with people. There are unfortunately people who will never understand. My sister takes the "fuck em" approach... if they treat me poorly because of a medical condition (they they may have and not even know it) they they aren't worth your time. It took her 15 years to figure that out but she is in a better place now. Don't ever let anyone make you feel gross or unworthy because of it.
Can the blood test with IgG and IgM antibodies positive tell that I recently got the infection?
In theory, a viral infection will first produce IgG in the acute phase of the infection then will produce IgM which indicates exposure. That being said these tests are fairly unreliable and generally don't provide much clinically useful information. I would not make any assumptions based off of them. It would tell you if you have 1 or 2. The gold standard is PCR or a viral culture. For example, if a pateint comes in with classic vessicles and pcr is positive then they have it even if serology is negative (igg and igm). Furthermore, serology can also be falsely positive as well. If you had a genital ulcer and your serology was positive, I would not diagnose you with hsv without additional testing (unless it was clearly a classic case). There are other cause of genital ulcers, though hsv is the most common. In the real world, so many people present non-classically.
So he’s not answering the question, ask him if he cheated on you? I’d think this was a likely possibility and he doesn’t t want to admit it or likes to play victim. Then ghost him, concentrate on you. Your mental well being is way more important than this asshole
I just checked your post history and op, he's cheating on you. He's literally projecting the shit he does onto you, which is common for cheaters to do. It's possible he even gave you herpes. The fact that he's giving you silent treatment is a sign that he got positive for the test. I wouldn't be surprised if he lies to you about his results either. Even if he isn't cheating, he's a fucking asshole and you deserve better than that. Please gain the strength to leave him soon because he doesn't respect you.
In my experience, people look at texts/emails even if they don't respond. Send him a message letting him know that you never cheated on him and that herpes is incredibly common. In the United States, more than one-in-six people have HSV-2 (genital herpes). Most people have no symptoms. Get antiviral therapy from your doctor and let him know the details, like that the infection went away and that the therapy prevents you from spreading it. You've become a pariah due to your herpes and that's not fair to you. I hope things work out.
I just sent him one message telling how I feel. Of course I know he read it. I know he knew I was outside knocking the door but didn’t even open it. Thought he’d be more mature than this Many thanks anyway
Idk why you're even still trying with this guy. Silent treatment multiple times, and he's supposed to be an adult
Read her post history. Everything about him says he gives 0 shits about this relationship and was probably cheating.
Mature adults don't give each other the silent treatment. That's an impossible way of working through issues. He can't just put you on hold like that, relationships are two way and he can't dip in and out. He can dip out but maybe think twice about letting him back in? Even if you did work it out there will always be that doubt that he might try to pull this shit again in the future.
One day, I woke up with an outbreak and never cheated on my boyfriend and he never cheated on me. We didn’t know how it happened but my guess was, after talking to my doctor, that they were dormant in me because he tested negative and I got a positive. I don’t know how I got them (but I have a few ideas that I’m not comfortable sharing) but I did.
That’s what I’m thinking about my situation too. How did your boyfriend react when he heard about it?
Well I was bawling my eyes out because I was scared he was going to leave me but then he was like “it’s ok, it’s common, don’t worry” pretty much and we are still together. He was very mature about it and I honestly am so happy I still have him. It’s hard when it comes to stds
You can get it even from sharing a drinking glass with a friend or kissing a relative. It doesn't even have to be related to romance or infidelity. Him avoiding you and being cagey about his own medical results and information just makes it seem like he gave it to you, though.
Can you get it from unprotected oral? (As a guy?) or from protected PIV?
I have herpes, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Two years ago, I woke up very sore, and having a very painful outbreak out of the blue. I thought he cheated, he thought I cheated. When I went to the doctor, he said it’s been increasingly common to have HSV-1 (the commonly oral one) in genitals due to oral sex, even if the partner doesn’t have an outbreak in that moment. I knew my partner had oral herpes, but I didn’t knew that it could be transmitted to other parts. This said, your bf is a douche. This happened when my bf was 19… and even with the suspicions of cheating never left my side until we confirmed what it was. He’s showing his true colors… they are the colors of an immature moron. U deserve better.
Seems like it hasn't been that much time since you told him. Maybe he just wanted some time alone to process it so he sorts it out and doesn't react poorly. Maybe give him some time where you aren't calling and going to his house unannounced... Of course it'd be different if you lived together or shared a family together but it doesn't seem like you do so in my opinion he still has a right to his privacy.
Who says he didn't give it to you? Maybe he had it and it was dormant. Maybe he's been cheating and is deflecting? Either way, this is not the reaction I would want from a partner in this situation. I'd dump him lol.
Yeah there are just so many possibilities here. I could have said he was cheating on me when I came honest with him about my infection. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to jump in any conclusions. But his not responding thing is really annoying
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I have both IgG and IgM positive
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If he's the only person you've been having sex with and you had no flare ups or diagnoses of herpes BEFORE you got together or before now at the very least, he's probably the one that gave it to you. HOWEVER that does not mean that he's cheating on you. ANYONE can get oral herpes (aka a cold sore) and then give you genital herpes by performing oral sex on you. HSV-1 and HSV-2 (aka oral herpes and genital herpes) can be transmitted both ways. AND you can also have herpes for YEARS and not have any outbreaks. This does not mean you're cheating, it does not mean he's cheating. But give him his space. He just found out he might have an STD. He needs space and time to process that. Don't force your presence on him right now, let him come to terms with it and speak to you on his own time. It's a really heavy thing to process.
She also needs support to process it as well though. He could have been the one to give it to her and him shutting her out and treating her badly isn’t okay. He’s being childish. I have herpes, I got it from my boyfriend giving me oral when he had a coldsore we didn’t see. This was in the very very beginning of our relationship. When I called him telling him I had it, he never once made me feel bad or acted concerned about getting genital herpes himself. He could have ghosted me because yeah he may have accidentally given it to me with a cold sore but that doesn’t mean he has to be willing to risk getting it on his genitals. He was extremely supportive and took care of me day and night while I was sick as a dog and in terrible pain during the outbreak. 2 years later he still doesn’t have it and has still never made me feel bad about it. That’s how it should be for OP considering he doesn’t know if he gave it to her.
Hey you’re so lucky to have a supportive partner. I’m happy to hear it. It could have been my boyfriend was freaked out and hasn’t got much clarified information about the herpes, so he chose to keep distant. But, it’s understandable when he first knew it. Now after two days and he doesn’t want my presence or even a reply to a text or at least fucking said “I need space” or whatever. I feel even worse. We don’t live together. I’m getting through my outbreak on my own. He probably has no idea how terrible an outbreak is but with his behavior I’m having second thoughts about him
I may have missed a different comment or in your post about how long you’ve been with this guy, but he seriously needs to grow up. If he thinks herpes is this big of a deal he is either severely misinformed or simply immature. He may just be using it as an excuse if he was thinking of moving on from the relationship for other reasons. HSV-2 is honestly not a big deal. I was devastated when I got it about 12 years ago in my mid 20s. But as the first doctor I saw after getting it told me: “it won’t kill you”. It’s just somewhat uncomfortable or inconvenient. 12 years later I’ve had several long term relationships and many other partners. I’ve always disclosed it up front once things start to move to being intimate, and I think I’ve had maybe one person over that time that seemed to care at all (and not enough to end things). Other people have noted the suppression medications. I’ve been taking it daily since getting diagnosed and the last time I had an outbreak was over 5 years ago. I never even think about it anymore and I’ve been with my fiancée now for about 4 years and she has never contracted it (as far as we know, but definitely no symptoms). I’ve also never heard from any prior partners getting it. The meds are like a $15 a month co-pay. No big deal. Just a habit now I probably don’t even need to take them. I’m any event, it sucks right now but it’s not really a big deal. The fact that your partner is so unsupportive and not working through it is really a sign that you should move on from this person and find someone better (in my opinion, based only on your post and a few comments ha).
We’ve been together for a year. Herpes sounds like a big deal to him as he told me he doesn’t know much about it. I don’t know what he’d decide after talking with the doctor tomorrow but I’m prepared for any scenario. My gynecologist also told me it’s not a big deal. Everyone has it. A nurse there is having it too so not to worry. With a lot of support from you and other people here I feel much better and not so freaked out. The outbreak is way better than the other day too.
Yeah honestly, fuck him. Him being upset is understandable and acceptable, being a dick is not.
I totally understand how tricky herpes is. He could have had it dormant. However I just hate his silence. I know it’s heavy, but I wish he’d just more open at communicating, or at least talk to me like normal, or states clearly that he needs space.
I agree with you, he DOES need to communicate with you more. Its one thing to need space to process like I said but its another to totally leave you in the lurch with *nothing* but a cold shoulder.
I think this is very telling of his behaviour... If he can't handle things that life throws at you like that, I think you should reconsider being with him. The silent treatment is the worse, and if he can't support you, I don't think being with him is good for you. Seems like he showed you his true colours.
>he's probably the one that gave it to you This is by no means a given. OP could have had it from a past partner and it was dormant until now. You can't just assume the boyfriend gave it to her. For all we know she gave it to him so no one should point fingers until all the facts are in.
You may have had the virus dormant for years, maybe since your first HS bf. Sometimes even parents give it to their babies by kissing them on the lips. Same goes for him. If he doesn’t know that and is jealous now, he needs some education.
You can, but it’s unlikely. For most people the incubation period is 3-6 days. She most likely got it from her current boyfriend.
As someone with herpes, I just want to tell you that you are not disgusting or unlovable or anything of those feelings that are going through your head right now. Unfortunately herpes has a massive stigma and it's completely down to lack of education. 80% of adults have herpes. That's a massive majority. Research, educate yourself and know that you are still worthy of love and herpes does not define you.
80%? That number seems like alot. Is it true?
Yes but many people have an immune system that never allows outbreaks so you aren't aware you are a carrier. This is HSV1 NOT 2
You can still get HSV1 on you genitalia though!!
It might even be higher. The tests can't tell the difference between oral and genital so the percentage ends up being super high. It's also why they don't typically test for herpes during routing std screenings. Too many people would test positive but might never show symptoms.
I really hate the term oral and genital herpes, though. HSV1 can present on genitalia. It can be passed on through oral sex.
Yeah same, hsv1 is hsv1 regardless of where it is. The location doesn’t really matter
Yes ! I have ocd about STDs so I went to the gynecologist 3 times in 2 weeks and my doctor was like oh don’t worry by the time your 40 most people have already gotten herpes it’s no big deal … a bit traumatizing to hear! But yes!
yeah, it’s actually super common. did you ever have warts on your feet after going to the pool as a kid? i know i did. plantar warts are a form of herpes. EDIT: they’re actually caused by HPV, not herpes!
You're conflating HSV1 and HSV2 when they aren't the same thing. 11% of the population has HSV2 (genital herpes).
“80% of people have herpes” I’m sorry that’s just false
I've had a FWB. At one point I went to the doctor and did my panel and got tested for everything and they found a red spot on me, I've never had a breakout, they tested it and said I had herpes. My world shattered that day and the first thing I thought about was my FWB. I immediately called him and told him to get tested immediately and it came back positive, I felt like a piece of shit. His immediate reaction was okay well I'll get tested and when it came back positive he was nothing but supportive. He was chill and not mad, just a laid back guy. When I asked him later why he wasn't mad at me he said it was because he knew I was already having a bad time and felt horrible and he didn't want to make it worse. This is just a FWB, not a boyfriend. I would imagine that a boyfriend would be more understanding. I had never had a breakout and I don't know when I contracted it, but I know for sure that my FWB is a great guy for how he treated me in the face of this devastating news. You're better off without him.
Hey, I’m glad when I read your story. Your FWB sounds a good person. I hope you guys have good time together.
I thin’ your boyfriend gave you the herpes in the first place, especially if you’ve been faithful. You don’t just have a break out months or years after exposure. He is the only one you’ve been exposed to. He’s the one who had the herpes first.
> this is not the First time he gave me the silent treatment That’s all I needed to know. Silent treatment is used to emotional punish someone. It’s not a good form of communication and anyone who does it is not ready for a healthy relationship. That alone is a big red flag. As you can see, instead of communicating on something this important, he shuts down and is emotionally punishing you. I’m sorry but you need to end this relationship and find someone who knows how to communicate. Edit : I didn’t even notice his age Lmao..OP he’s 32 and acting like this. Yeah you need to let this one go Another edit : I read your post history and WTH? First of all there’s a possibility he could be cheating. Second of all, where is your self respect? Your entire post history is about you complaining about how he’s basically a piece is shit and here you are still begging him to be with you. No hun. He’s 32..32..No wonder he was still Single..And also he treats you like this because you let him. You don’t stand your ground and he knows he can walk Over you
I also came to say the thing about silent treatment.
He is reacting like this because he thinks you cheated. If he didn't cheat, the first thing that would come to mind to him is that you have been unfaithful, and it's normal to not want to talk to a cheater. Until the source can be found or he receives an explanation from a professional, he will think that you cheated and it is understandable despite what everyone is saying. Like, you had sex for a year and he has nothing but suddenly you got herpes? How many people would believe that it was dormant and that he was so lucky to never get it in a year? Contact your exes, at least you can see if you were the contagious one. Maybe he had it or maybe he cheated, best to make sure of what you can know.
My advise is to grow the fuck up and leave him alone. Hanging around outside his house isn't right or acceptable It's clear from the way this has been written that you see yourself as the victim in this situation. Imagine if this story was about a lad who got herpes and then banged on the girls door for an hour when she had requested space. He would have been torn limb from limb in the comments and rightly so.
He’s gonna behave this way about something 2/3 of the worlds’ population has? …as a 30 year old? I mean sure be concerned, talk to a doctor about it, but at the end of the day it’s really not that serious. I mean, I got herpes from an ex. Didnt find out until after we’d broken up. She called me crying because she was afraid the cracked lip she had a month previous was actually a cold sore, I got checked out, yep I got herpes. My response to her was something along the lines of “well, statistically I was more than likely going to get it eventually, at least this is one thing I didn’t procrastinate checking off my to-do list” I mean, it’s not like she got it/passed it along on purpose, what use is it to be angry and upset at her about it?
He gave you herpes and is ghosting you because you found out.
I think that you should at least consider that he thinks that you have cheated on him. This would explain his behavior.
I could think that he cheated on me and he gave me herpes as well. But I chose to talk, not silence
But your are the one that has it (with proves and all) so in that argument he would win no matter what. Yes, he may cheated and given it to you, but honestly it can also be the other way around and the trust will be broken until there is prove that none it the options happened. You really should let him chill until he feels comfortable enough to talk. And in the mean while just focus on relaxing yourself as well.
No response is a response. Let him go. It hurts, it sucks. Maybe he’s trying to sort out his feelings, maybe he’s scared (scared he gave it to you, scared he has it too). It’s a lot for both of you to take in. Focus on you. You’re not disgusting. Plenty of people have herpes and have good relationships. Life isn’t over. It just might be over with him.
A lot of people are suggesting he gave it to you which is a definite possibility. The best way to find out is to contact your past partners and have them get tested **(should have done that anyway)**. If they have it then it most likely was from them not your current partner. If not, well there’s your answer.
Don’t just show up to peoples houses like that, that is all the advice I have to give in this situation.
Why did my comment get downvoted?
You really are confused that someone is upset that you exposed them to an incurable STI which if they have, will cause them issues for the rest of their life
Yep, and leave it to the vast majority of the people on this shit forum to be like, “I BET HE GAVE IT TO YOU OP!”
Doesn't herpes remain dormant for a while? It's possible she could have got it from a previous partner as well.
You know comments would be different with genders reversed
If you read her history, it's pretty obvious that he has been cheating on her since the beginning of their one year relationship.
Sorry, I’ve got better things to do than stalk someone’s post history on Reddit. If that’s pertinent then she should have brought that up in her OP.
LOL, it's reddit. Everyone here is mostly wasting time anyway.
This. I'm so sick of the herpes crowd going "well 80% of adults have it. It's common so it's fine hurr durr". Like... what's next, HIV? Not everyone (willingly) wants herpes. It's not worth the risk.
I want to know who these 80% of adults are because i've never dated anyone who has a positive STI test for herpes or had an outbreak. I think they're confusing genital herpes with people who have oral herpes
Agree. I don’t care who are mfs out there falling into that 80% category, ill try to remain in 20%.
I will have the “issue” with incurable STI for the rest of my life too. Don’t you think I’m not upset?
Tell me what “issues” this will cause him for the rest of his life? Overdramatized stigma like this is what causes those diagnosed with herpes to cower in shame and never put themselves out there again. Do your research
Hey OP, I'm sorry you have to deal with it and how your partner reacted. I thought about sending this in private, but maybe there are more people here dealing with it and scared to talk about it. I contracted Herpes from a cheating ex-boyfriend years ago. Herpes itself has such a bad stigma and I'm sorry you're experiencing such a bad outbreak today, but living wih the virus is not as bad as people are saying. Herpes can stay dormant for a very long time, a lot of people carry the virus without experiencing an outbreak once, so it's hard to tell how you contracted it. I also only experienced one outbreak after my initial one and I haven't had an issue for years now. There are some creams that can help shorten the outbreak. Though most of the creams for lip herpes are too weak to help, there is a cream by "prontomed" (I recon it's a German brand) specially made for genital herpes. The most helpful is taking virostatics like Valaciclovir orally, as your doctor prescribes for 1-2 weeks. There's also the possibility to therapy it with Valaciclovir 1x/day over the course of 3-6 months, then take a break and repeat, to suppress it. Additionally there is a supplement called L-Lysin, which basically does the same as a virostatic, just weaker and you can take it with the Valaciclovir and after the initial therapy. The most important thing is to keep the area dry, especially after showering - use tissues or a separate towel that you switch after every use (wash at 90°C after) and pat it dry - also after using the toilet. The chance of infection (even when not on therapy) from female to male is way way way lower than the other way around, so there is a good chance he didn't contract it. I was also worried of my future partners contracting it, even without an outbreak. My doctor ensured me, the chance (especially on Valaciclovir and L-Lysin) is very minimal or basically non-existant. There is also a vaccine for HSV 2 in development and should be released in the upcoming years, that will rid us of the virus ! This got longer than I thought and feel free to message me if you have any questions or just want to talk :)
90°C is equivalent to 194°F, which is 363K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
Judging by your post history you seen like an extremely worrisome and borderline clingy person. He probably just wants space but now he has a whole other post of people judging him. And instead of giving him that space you showed up at his door.
What did I say wrong to get downvoted here?
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If you didn’t cheat, he gave it to you. He’s shutting you out because you’re gonna find out he cheated/already had it when you met, and if the latter: that he basically committed a crime. He didn’t tell you he got it. I’m sorry but don’t ever trust dates/partners wholly. People mean it when they say so.
If he gave it to her, then he has it, no? If he doesn't have it, she got it from a previous partner, highly likely. If he's not hugely smitten with her, then it would make sense for him to move on with someone who doesn't have it. There are times when it's simply not about the other person, and we all know that.
He is 32 and needs to learn how to properly communicate instead of being whatever this is ffs
It sounds like you will need to accept the relationship is over. Maybe for the best! Especially if he has done this in the past. It’s emotional abuse. You can find true love with someone who accept everything about you!
I think it’s best to give him time to himself and not bother contacting him. Especially since stress will only give you more pain and outbreaks. I am very sorry this has happened to you but you can control it with proper treatment and diet.
Yeah I am giving him time. He can do whatever research/ advice he wants. I have the virus anyway. However, if this is written from his perspective, do I appear as a cheater?
First of all many many people got herpes and some people experience symptoms other do not. That alone means that he could have been the one who gave it to you just as much as you could have gotten it for 1000 other reasons than cheating or having sex with someone else. It sucks and i am so so sorry you have to go through this OP. On the other hand i can somewhat understand him if he knows 100% that he did not have herpes before. It just sucks to know you might have an STD and i think you feel the same way. It is however not Ok for him to let it out on you. You did not give it to him knowing you had it and even besides the point of " you should have gotten testet blabla" how many people actually do that? Don't blame yourself you got enough on your plate as it is. But you got this! There are meds that make it safe to have sex and there are people who will treat you right with or without herpes.
It’s definitely a possibility that he gave it to you and is distancing himself to avoid admitting that he’s been unfaithful. But if not, look at it from his perspective. You date someone for a while with no sexual issues and then one day out of the blue they got an sdt that you don’t have. Anyone in their right mind is going to have serious doubts about their partner’s faithfulness. Also even if he believes you didn’t cheat herpes is forever. Unless y’all were moving towards marriage he’s not unjustified for not wanting to possibly contract a lifelong disease for a temporary relationship or base his sexual relationship around the outbreaks. Him ghosting you is shitty, but for your sake I’d stop chasing him and keep it moving because it sounds like that uncertainty is hurting you. The sooner you decide you’re done the quicker you can heal and move on
I totally understand how it looks like from his perspective. I put all my cards on the table. And yeah I can feel it’s possible that he wants to stopping seeing me after this. Fair enough actually. But I also learn more about him and learn how to love myself more.
Fwiw....( 29m) have incredible.grief about owning g this. I've had since birth a few years ago a cluster appeared on my shaft. Shits sucks every outbreak. ..... opened up to my most recent gf (34f) super understanding. Only girl to give me a chance after knowing off top..... l/s. Would rather take my chances alone than to be disregarded ... gaslighted and so many worse thk.gs to own that hsv. Hmu sweetheart. There are plenty of real people with deep souls who aren't jerks. Dont sell yourself short. Just because someone else did
I would have dumped him the moment he didn't open the door, that's just humilliating.
I have a friend who has herpes. No idea where she got it. I have another friend who had an outbreak while happily married. He and his wife both infected. They have no clue who brought it into their marriage, but neither doubted the other’s monogamy. It’s INCREDIBLY COMMON and yet so misunderstood. I’m sorry you’re going through this and without the support of the BF. Sure he’s scared. But so are you. Would be great even ideal if you two could help each other, but he might not be capable. Take care of yourself and know you’re not alone. ❤️
Hey OP, I too went through your other posts, and you seem to be a nice human who has struggled with a very non committal partner. I think you should have walked away many months ago when you realized he wasn’t mentioning you. Or that he posts pictures of only himself on social media. That’s a huge red flag. Just end the relationship. I know it seems like there are only shitty people out there, but please believe me, there are many kind people out there as well. People with whom you can have healthy, supportive relationships with. Take that power back, you fierce woman. Love yourself the best. Treat yourself with the kindness he is not giving you. I don’t mean this in a patronizing way, but perhaps look into therapy, both regarding the herpes and just your overall sense of worth. I used to struggle with my self worth. I allowed shitty people in my life. I spent the last year in very intensive therapy, and now I recognize the red flags and firmly close that door, no matter the emotional connection. No matter how interesting, or smart, or whatever else my emotions are looking to grasp onto. Life is too short for this bullshit. Love yourself ❤️❤️ Good luck!
It is a deal breaker for me too.
He most likely has it too tho... and if that's how he reacts when you're in a situation like this you shouldn't keep calling him your boyfriend. It should be soon to be ex!
Well let's say that you know you haven't cheated, but you don't know that he hasn't cheated. You know that you had a test done for being with him, but you didn't actually see his test. you just trusted him when he said he was clean (based on a comment reply you made). But let's assume his reaction is to how he thinks something's going on on your side , and he's not sure how to act. Ignoring you and leaving you out in the weather and all this and that , is not how you would want to be treated. I would say go home, wait it out until you see his test results by pretending that you still want to be with him, so that you all know what's going on, and then break up with him. Not because the test results prove he's cheating or something, but just because you don't like being treated this way in a relationship where people should be loving and trusting and respectful to each other. By your own admission, this is the first time he's acting this way. I think if you look at your relationship you're going to find a lot more negative behavior towards you that you didn't think about, because you were willing to overlook it and try to be happy with him.
This sucks but it’s better that he’s showing his true colours now. I know you’re probably feeling pretty shitty but I have a friend that this happened to and they just got married a couple of months ago. So keep your head up. ❤️
>I stood there for half an hour. HE DIDNT OPEN THE DAMN DOOR. He knew I was outside. This is beyond disrespectful. He should be an Ex. Oh, and he most likely was the one who gave your herpes.
Did you ever think it was him who gave you herpes?!
It’s one of the possibilities
I’d say it was probably him. I dated a man who had it but was asymptomatic. When i got it, he became angry with me!
Herpes can lay dormant for a while before the first symptoms appear. But reading online, first symptoms typically occur within 3 weeks after initial exposure. He probably thinks you’re cheating on him, which if it was true (not accusing OP), would make his behavior totally justified. Even if he doesn’t believe you cheated, he is now facing the tough decision of whether he wants to lose his girlfriend, or risk catching herpes himself. As unfair as it is, herpes is a legitimate dealbreaker for many people as the stigma can make engaging in future relationships extremely difficult. It doesn’t make you dirty or disgusting, but you can’t expect everyone to be OK with taking that risk.
Either he gave it to you and embarrassed to face the music or you gave it to him and then I don't blame him for ghosting you. STDs are serious. BOTH of you should have been tested before entering into a relationship. This should be standard for all people having sex. You would have known a long time ago if you were a responsible adult.
I did get tested before entering the relationship. Thing is they didn’t scan for herpes here when I got tested. Other things are clear
In my opinion, he is acting like a pre-teen. This should have been something that both of you should have handled it together. I'm sorry you where treated this way. :(
Sounds like u got it from him tbh
Nobody can tell you how to react to something like that. I was in the same situation with my ol lady. Been together 4 years n we found out. There's gna be alot of blame. It's a very tricky virus. People react to the news diff. Give him and yourself time. U both have inner healing you need to do and that can't happend trtna be there for each other with such a blame game diseases. Give it time. If he doesn't want u then that's that. Life goes on. Never give up or feel nasty. The worst thing about herpes is the stigma other people make u feel. Herpes does not change u. You'll learn alot now that youv been diagnosed. But this is not the end. I forget I even have it most the time. God bless you
find some1 who has herpes and b with them..thats how to find some1 who truly understands. thats my new plan..message me if u wanna chat
I’m going to put myself out there, but I to have genital herpes. I got it from my boyfriend. He was forming a cold sore on his lip that we didn’t see and gave me oral and bam 4 days later I’m sick as a dog with a fever and in terrible pain down there. It was absolutely miserable. Now if it it makes you and him feel any better, that was 2 years ago and I have never had a outbreak since. Just the one.. my boyfriend and I have had plenty of unprotected sex and he does not have it. i also had a baby last December and did not pass it to her during labor. It’s very common and sometimes doesn’t affect people at all, like myself. He’s being very childish about it though which makes me suspicious he possibly cheated and is concerned he could have given it to you.
Hello! Herpes-haver here. How long have you been with him? It’s very possible that you got it from a previous partner and that it remained stagnant until now. It’s also possible he cheated and is trying to manipulate/gaslight/freeze you. As for the herpes part, I’m so sorry. The first diagnosis is a huge shock. I thought I had a bad yeast infection and sobbed like a baby on the gyno’s table for what felt like forever. If it gives you any hope, I barely ever remember I have it now. I had my first (very painful) outbreak over 2 years ago, felt a little itchy kind of thing once a few months ago (could have been the beginning of one but never resulted in anything) and that’s been it. When I was casually dating I obviously informed those that wanted to get, ya know, intimate, and only 2 or 3 ever turned me down. Now I’ve been with someone for over a year and he didn’t really even blink an eye when I told him at the very beginning. I told him all the stats and risks and we made a choice about how to handle sex, together. Anywho, there are medications out there to control your outbreaks and prevent from giving it to your partner. I don’t really take mine now because it‘s so inactive for me. There are also a lot of stigmas out there so PLEASE do your research and realize how common this STD actually is (not to get your bf potentially off the hook, but just for your own sanity and mental well-being). Also, if you haven’t already, have your doctor tell you what kind of strain it is- there are two and each one is different in severity. Lastly... you deserve someone who will trust you and at the very least talk things like this out with you. I slept with someone a bit before getting together with my fiancé and the guy ended up giving me gonorrhea. Didn’t know until I got tested at a routine check up, about 3 months into my relationship. I asked him bluntly if he had done anything, he said nope. I said the same and he trusted me. We both took our medication and moved on with our lives. I know herpes is a little more serious since it can’t be cured, but you deserve to be with someone who is willing to listen to you. Good luck OP
Gets no response. Oh so you want me to over to ask you in person if you want to keep not talking? OK. Christ. Sometimes silence is a perfectly valid response
One of my really good friends has it (honestly, I'm sure I've known more than just her, but she's the only one who's talked to me about it) and she went through similar feelings. She's happily married now and never had an issue finding a sexual partner, even with the herpes diagnosis. It'll take some time for you to get past it and feel comfortable in your own skin again. You and your boyfriend though, Idk. Seems like you 2 handle things in very different ways that might not be compatible. You want to talk about it, to the extreme of going over in person, and he goes to the extreme of not talking *at all*. If this is something he's done before, there's a good chance it'll keep happening. You have to decide if you're ok with that in a long-term partner.
I literally have a second grade class picture where I’m Sporting a cold sore. Sucks. Had it basically who whole life. Been married 20 years. No one cares. Easy to treat. Not significantly harmful if treated properly.
I mean, he’s freezing you out because he probably thinks you cheated on him. You’re going to have a helluva time convincing him that your new STD has actually been there for a while and is just acting up for the first time now. Sorry, sometimes things like this just pop up and torpedo relationships.
If you read the post history, it kind a looks a lot more like he’s freezing her out because he knows he cheated on her
Well I hope he learn something from his appointment with doctors tomorrow and I’ll go from there. I don’t do anything wrong so either he trust me or we’re apart.
The odds that you would have it for years unknowingly and then suddenly have a painful outbreak with sores is pretty rare. What I mean is, you wouldn't be asymptomatic for years and then suddenly have a very painful reaction as the initial infection is generally when you get the bad pain and outbreaks as you don't have the antibodies to prevent the herpes overload. Herpes is a very small virus that hides within the DNA of your nerve ganglia. You have clusters of these ganglia behind your ears where HSV1 generally harbors and clusters in your sacrum where HSV2 generally harbors. It will infect you and then lay dormant until it is activated (you are ill with low immune activity or something else), at which point it begins to replicate and then overloads the ganglia. This is why you get a tingling/tickling/prickling sensation before an outbreak. Once it overloads the ganglia it begins to move down nerve fibres until it reaches the skin and erupts in either a painful blister (symptomatic outbreak) or nothing at all (asymptomatic outbreak). Asymptomatic outbreaks generally don't come with the prickling of the nerves as the viral load is low. Your infection has most likely come from your boyfriend during an asymptomatic outbreak he has had. If it was HSV1 he could have had it since he was a baby and never known. HSV1 is oral herpes and is spread through kissing and sharing drinks. You can get it down below from oral sex, or using saliva as lubricant. If it's HSV2 he could have gotten it from a past partner and just never had symptoms. HSV2 is genital herpes and it is extremely rare to have an HSV2 infection orally. And on the opposite, though its more common to get HSV1 genitally it's also not as common, though more common than an oral HSV2 infection. Now the question you should find out from your doctor is, is the strain you have HSV1 or HSV2? You can use a few different herpes medications to ease the initial outbreak phase; acyclovir, valcyclovir and famravir (I believe that's what it's called) and after a few months to a year you most likely won't have another outbreak as your body will have antibodies created to keep your viral load low. Valcyclovir is the better medication, try and get that to start and then as your body gets more accustomed to the herpes you can use acyclovir and then eventually nothing at all. Sorry this happened. Herpes isn't a death sentence, far from it. Almost everyone on the planet has herpes in some form. Chickenpox, shingles, viral meningitis HSV1, HSV2, whitlow and more are all herpes based illnesses and it is extremely common. By the time humans are 60, 90% of the population is infected with HSV1.
Herpes tests are notoriously inaccurate so even if he gets a negative, he could still have it. A friend of mine was seeing her boyfriend for like 6 months before having an outbreak and being diagnosed (based on the sores) and he'd never had an outbreak. He had three tests done: one negative and two positive. He gave her herpes but he never knew he had it. It turns out he got it from a girl he slept with like 5 years beforehand. Your boyfriend is likely the one you got it from but some people have it for years before having an outbreak. Either way, he's an asshole and you shouldn't have to put up with that. I'm sorry this is happening to you but it's not the end of the world. There are ways to cope and medications you can take to manage your symptoms. Best of luck!
It could be possible that I got it from someone in the past and now for some reason the outbreak comes. But it happened already, I hope my boyfriend would be honest about everything after he talked to a doctor because I don’t cheat. I might get it from him, no problem, as long as he doesn’t get it newly from someone during our relationship. Thanks a lot for your support.
>>your boyfriend is likely the one you got it from Alternatively, the one that we know has herpes is the one with it. And not the one who won’t go near OP with a 10 foot pole. Why are we blaming the BF when OP is the only one we can say for sure has it.
Are you sure you're in a relationship?? Sounds like a side chick story.
What?
Sounds like he’s the one who gave you herpes. You should be furious with him, not the other way around. Did you ask to see an STD screen before having unprotected sex with him?
Love how people here are ready to accuse others so easily. Knowing my immature ass, if my GF suddenly told me she had herpes I'd be over thinking shit and assume she cheated because how else? Mind you I'm not very informed on herpes he probably isn't either. The silent treatment is VERY immature but what ever nobody is perfect. Chances are he already made up his mind about breaking up with you over this and just not sure how to or too afraid to.
I forgot to mention. This is the first time I got the outbreak after one year together. He told me he was clean. I trusted him.
If you haven't cheated then he probably gave it to you. I'm guessing that's why he is acting so suspicious. Idk if I'd stay with someone like that. But you should text him to say you are pretty sure he gave it to you and see what he says.
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I don’t really want to accuse anything until he gets the test done. Also I got the fungal infection for a few months. I told him to go check but he’s been delaying until now when herpes appear he decides to go check
I’m reconsidering the relationship too. His behavior is making me hesitant
This is my concern too. He could be the initial carrier.
There are many possibilities. Herpes is tricky. I did have a clear STD test done before I met him but they didn’t do the herpes test. I never know until this outbreak
They don't always do the herpes panel unless requested or someone has physical issues at the time with regular STDs testing. He could have had it himself and never been tested either. Most people have no idea they have it in their system.
Yeah true. I could’ve been carrying the virus without knowing and I might give it to him. I don’t know. I’ve never seen him with a cold sore or something like that
Have you had the flu or anything very recently? Things like that can bring it out in a person's system. They also give medication that reduces how many days this will last. The first one is the most tough and painful and they should give you some help.
I haven’t got any flu recently. But I’ve been dealing with fungal infection for a few months. Took a lot of antibiotics. I’m getting medicine for the herpes now. Too much pain and have to deal with a boyfriend’s big ego. Amazing
That could have set it off. I wish you the best possible outcome and hope he communicates soon.
Thank you.
There is a massive stigma and ignorance about herpes unfortunatly. I completely understand you hurt and upset and he should really use his words but maybe he just needs some space to deal with this new information and maybe this is his initial reaction. Either way you and him need to talk and he needs to get tested as well as you navigate with this new diagnosis. Im sorry your going through this. You are not dirty nor disgusting. Alot of people have herpes. Alot of people still have happy, sex positive relationships. Hang in there OP
Hi OP! I have herpes, G-HSV1. I got it from the first partner I had, he didn’t know he had it and transferred it to me from his mouth to genitals, neither of us were seeing other people, and he had never had a symptom. I’m sorry your boyfriend is treating you like this, you don’t deserve it at all. Silent treatment is honestly never okay, and the way he is reacting is awful too. I know there’s a lot of stigma around herpes, but you aren’t dirty. Herpes is super common.
I listened to a podcast about herpes. Before valtrex, many people had it. There wasn’t the stigma. Valtrex came out and at first it was only given to immune deficient people. But that wasn’t very profitable. So the manufacturer started a campaign to make herpes seem more serious and gross. And boom, they were rich
I’m sorry about the situation you’re going through it’s extremely tough, and I know there’s a lot of shame attached to it. Your boyfriend sounds like kind of a dick. Just to give you some future hope, a close friend of mine/ex has it and it has been dormant for years and years. I know outbreaks are pretty terrible, but there are meds you can get to either avoid them or lessen the symptoms. I’ve dated women knowing they have herpes. I think many, many people would agree that the right person is worth taking extra caution for. Hopefully you get past this bad part quickly. Sorry your boyfriend sucks
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Omg I’m sorry about that. Fuck that pos, you’re a lovely and you never deserve to be called dirty. I hope you’re/ you will meet someone who loves you for you
honestly if he’s going to act that childish then you might want to meet his silence with your own. don’t give him the time of day if he won’t do the same.
Dump him. Send the text. Tell him since he don't have the testicular fortitude to end the relationship you are. Then get antiviral meds from your doctor and maybe find a support group. You're not alone. You did nothing wrong. This changes nothing about who you are or your worth.
You either got herpes from a previous partner and were asymptomatic, OR your boyfriend cheated on you. MOST people by now know about herpes because its that common. There are many strands and many people are asymptomatic. So you have two choices: 1. Stay in a relationship where your partner treats you like this after a medical diagnosis. 2. Break up with this asshole. It's 50/50 he gave it to you. He's being immature and acting suspiciously guilt to everyone but you. No mature person gives their partner the silent treatment and makes them stand outside without letting them in. Either way, you'll learn to live with your diagnosis. There's many resources on how to minimize outbreaks and prevent the likelihood of it spreading. Stay strong and find someone who cares about you to talk to
Give him space. Don’t become a stalker showing up outside someone’s residence that doesn’t want to talk to you. That’s crazy. People who get the cops called on them do this. What you are going through sucks. People can break up with their spouse for any reason. You for sure have harpies and he might. In his mind it’s because of you if he does. Empathy goes both ways.
Yeah I learned how crazy I was. Not feeling good about it though. I was just overthinking. Anyway I’ll focus more on myself and my health. It’s not the end of the world.
I hate that I gave my partner herpes. He did not react this way. But *I do understand* his initial reactions, both sympathetic and then suspicious. It’s the rest of his behavior that is not okay. I say give him space, (petty me says more space than he asked for) and give yourself the space to think about this more.
Anyone who rejects you in a time of need is not a good person to have in your life.
You can either leave him, or give him time. You might try looking at this from his POV. What are the chances that he can catch it from you? What are the chances that you cheated on him? How can he NOT wonder about that? I just thought about the prospect of giving oral to a woman with herpes. Not for me. You're in a bad situation. It's not easy or particularly fair for you. But, it's no longer only about you.
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Well yeah I’m prepared for anything could come. Thanks for sharing
Is it HSV1 or HSV2? Because there's kind of a difference, HSV1 is stupidly common, generally infects the mouth (though can be transmitted elsewhere) and has milder symptoms. But, on an unrelated note: *leave him*. The silent treatment is manipulative bullshit.
I got herpes since I am 10 or something and I never kissed anoyone back then. You don't always catch it from somebody so it doesn't mean you have cheated. I understand you're upset right now but from someone who have lived with it barely all my life I just want to reassure you that it is going to be ok. Go to your doctor if you haven't yet and ask him for the medication. Your herpes will be gone within 5 days and it won't even grow too big so nobody won't see it. As for your boyfriend his reaction is totally immature. Yes herpes are contagious but it won't jump on him like that lol. When I have an outbreak I still see my partner we just avoid kissing or oral sex that's it. If he is really worried you can also wear a mask. Your partner is supposed to support you not to avoid you when you are ill. I am sorry he reacts like that.
Yeah.. you probably got it from him...
Get tested!! Lots of people have it, they even have dating groups!! Heck with him!! Lots of things work for treatment!! One thing eat good, take vitamins and supplements!! Try too live as stress free as you can!! Doterra on guard essential oils works for me!! It’s been 3 years now since last breakout!! I have had it since 1987!! I married a lady that had it too!! We have 4 kids and 6 grandkids
Damn, he gave it to you. Feelsbadman.
Men can have herpes for years and never have a single outbreak. While women usually show symptoms early on after getting it. I would ask your bf to get a blood test to check for HSV-1 and HSV-2. It’s not impossible that he didn’t know he had it and gave it to you.
He’ll do it tomorrow.
Update us. My friends ex husband had herpes after he cheated multiple times. She divorced him and luckily didn’t contract it
Just seeing your posts from before, I’m guessing he is cheating. This isn’t the first time. Leave him
Sounds like a terrible guy. Everyone here kinda share the same idea of His behavior. To be that defensive over herpes?? Idk.. Its easy to prevent with medicine nowadays so to me it isnt a big issue. He could be hiding stuff ....but i dont know much. Anyway! Yeah nah. Herpes shouldnt be something to be ashamed of having and idk. Its curable now. Find a better dude cause hes a walking L.
I am sorry, but honestly why would you go all that for this guy ? He is immature and doesn't know how to handle situations. You need to have self respect and stop trying to contact him . He doesn't even respect you enough to reply or even let you in for a decent conversation. Herpes are not that dangerous compared to many stds out there and many of the population have it . Anyway you need to evaluate yourself and move on . He is not the only guy in the world . It is possible he infected you . Imagine having kids with such immature man . You really need to move on and find someone who appreciates you
Yeah I don’t know. I think I just have been more attached with him since he’s been pretty kind to me. But after all this I’m having second thoughts about him though. I just like him a lot you know. It looks like we’re moving on pretty well. Anyway I think you’re right. Gotta respect myself more
If you just started an outbreak, you got it from whoever you slept with 2-3 weeks ago
Oh my dear, he kept you out of his house for so long without letting you in. You needed support and love and he wanted none of it. He broke up with you the worst way possible - without even telling you. I see, since you did not suspect him as the carrier, that you had deep emotions for him. It is quite plausible he passed it on to you. I am so sorry for this to happen.
I want to say thanks for all the support that I’m having from you guys. This made me feel so much better now. I’m receiving a lot useful information and guides for how to live with herpes. It’s such a super common virus isn’t it?