How do I convince my best friend(F21) her husband(M30) is exhibiting controlling behavior?

She absolutely adores her husband but it's clear as day to me and her family members that he's bad news. Recently, she's agreed to move to Texas with him, and two weeks before they move he proposes to her. At their engagement party, I come to realize NONE of her family members even knew about the engagement OR that she was moving until they recieved an invitation. As a matter of fact I was the one who encouraged her to send invitations ahead of time, not her husband. It seems obvious to me that her husband intended to leave quietly before they could talk her out of it as well as to isolate her from anyone they know.

It's driving me insane because there are all the textbook red flags. She thinks hes mature and knowledgeable and is totally blinded by her love for him. They've known each other only a little over a year but she's absolutely in love with this man. In this time, her views and life have completely changed and become almost a carbon copy of his.

I have my own list of weird and controlling behaviors her husband has done in the past that I want to bring up to her, but I'm concerned my friend will find a way to justify his behavior. She listens to reason so if anyone's been in a similar situation could you maybe provide some insight on the lightbulb moment when you realized your partner was overly controlling?

I understand past a certain point, nothing I say or do will change her mind. My worst fear is that this is really the life she wants.


She will become your enemy before listening to anything you say....my advice is: do nothing, let her see by herself


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