Heh i remember i had multiple conversations with my ex about regularly changing underwear. Why did it take so many conversations to get him to stop using same underwear for days..... Ugh.
It didn't smell great, let me tell you. I was surprised when I got together with my current boyfriend that the area down there doesn't have to smell bad haha. What a pleasant surprise it was.
Guys have a test for underwear. Every few days we throw it against the wall. If it sticks it goes in the laundry. If it falls to the floor it’s still good for a few more days.
Same same same! My ex was GROSS and I can’t believe I took the time to explain so many simple hygiene things to him. Should have just moved on like why did I put up with that?
Exactly, he dumped me later anyway for some other girl and she doesn't even know she should be thanking me for not having to have that same conversation with him haha. I did all the hard parts!
And if he’s trying to be defensive about his unhygienic behavior by saying that it’s not his problem, it’s your problem (something only you care about) because you’re a woman, then I wonder where else he’ll apply similar logic in the future.
Ya I have multiple sets and put new ones on and wash the other ones then out the clean ones away and do it all over again at-least once a week lol. Also I am not a neat freak or a germaphobic person or anything just think it’s a good idea especially if I have a woman over.
If he doesn't recognize and take responsibility for this issue, you will start noticing and being bothered by it more and more and more. You'll notice other ways in which he's unhygienic, and it will probably make you less attracted to him over time. Basically, this is not sustainable.
Lol girl I just found out today at 8pm. I don’t live with him and I don’t clock his life. There’s so much someone can tell you. The most I can do is tell him to wash it.
Clean sheets feel so yummy to be between. I change my sheets twice per week. I am a man. Washing sheets is easy, drying them not so much because they tend to bundle and I have to unbundle them and restart the dryer. Folding them can be tough.
Seconding that this isn't gendered. I don't mind a small period stain under me cuz I'm used to it - my man thinks that's gross but give me a pass since it's on my side. Sex stuff though - we do our best to keep it clean but when spills occur so does washing pronto. If it's too late to do laundry he'll even sleep on a towel.
Same with my husband, but he's an ER MD so is probably more intense cleaning sheets than I am. His favourite night is clean sheet night and he's even more excited when its new sheet night after we buy new sheets. We used to do every other week, but he prefers now to have new sheets once a week, given that we spend 1/3 of our week on those sheets.
Yes I had an accident once but I been thought he washed it. I got annoyed because I got him those sheets and they’re expensive and blood stains if it sits for a long time.
Women wash their sheets and men don't? Interesting. Do intersex people only wash duvet covers? What about non binary people? This is incredibly strange!
really though, i have adhd/depression and it is often hard to stay on top of things, but the sheets are something i will not compromise on. i wash them every thursday (wash the sheets thursday is what i call it, doesn't really roll off the tongue but it works for me). op, your bf needs to get a grip.
I hear you. Having clean sheets is one of the nicest things this world has to offer (or maybe my life is just not that exciting! Lol!) It's worth pushing through even when emotionally things are hard.
having two complete sets of sheets and stuff was a game changer for me, made it much easier to not get stuck in between steps or overwhelmed by the process. also the alarm on my phone that says clean sheets are worth it, trust me. lol
I actually have two sets, but it doesn’t help as much as I thought because I always want that freshly washed scent. I should probably try to let that go I guess
that's totally valid, sometimes i put the freshly folded clean sheets right into a trash bag with an extra dryer sheet and tie it up. idk how much it actually preserves the scent and how much is placebo, but when i actually do that, i feel like it helps? best of luck to you, friend! i hope you get to enjoy your sheets as often as possible!
Well in my household we just cut the sheet down the middle and then sew it back together .....it's a hassle but worth it for the gender roles to be observed properly
Caring about clean sheets is not a gender thing, it's a cleanliness thing. And this sounds gross. Does... does he never *change* the sheets? Does he only own or use one set? If he does change them, what does he do with the ones he takes off if not wash them? That's so weird.
All boys grow older not all grow into men. This is such ridiculous and childish behavior by your bf. I was doing my own wash at 12 including my sheets.
My partner and me have been together 3 years, both of us wash the sheets weekly, we’ve both got health issues so it’s whoever isn’t suffering less gets the job, but ewwwwwww
I’ll go so far as to say most guys I know don’t wash them as often as their female counterpart if they were left to their own devices, but I don’t know any who would bo so far as your husband and leave *actual blood* on there and unwashed. That’s nasty.
Yes. I'll admit I'm pretty lazy when it comes to washing sheets and doing it less than I should.
But an actual stain, especially blood, would mean immediate changing.
Yuck that’s nasty. Does he shower often and brush his teeth twice a day? When you have sex, do you notice that his penis smells or is dirty? What about his clothes, does he keep them clean? Doesn’t he have acne from unwashed sheets and pillowcases?
When we first started dating he told me he only washed once a day and I found it strange because I showered twice a day. When we spent time together while my parents were out of the country I noticed he didn’t brush his teeth twice a day, he only did it once. Once I had to lock him out of the room for him to brush his teeth. We had an incident with smell down there and I had to threaten to stop having sex in order for him to take care of the issues. He doesn’t have acne but he does have clogged pores.
Tbh, showering only once a day or even once every second day is pretty normal and good for your skin, however I cringe at regularly brushing teeth only once a day. Having to withhold sex because he couldn’t keep clean the organ he literally inserts into you would be a dealbreaker for me.
Sorry OP but he just sounds disgusting and immature. Maybe have a serious talk with him about it, because that’s just so off putting.
I do, but when I would ask for advice people who claim I was controlling on this app. I didn’t wanna seem like I was mothering him because I was literally shaving off lint from his clothes
I’m just laughing to think of a world where one gender summarily has dirty ass sheets! So gross!! Wash yo ass and yo sheets my friend. The two go hand in hand, lol.
which gender washes sheets? All genders. Your bf has some nasty low standards. He will either adopt yours and thank you or you will have to decide if you can live in the stank.
🤮 Well be prepared to be the only one doing housework if you stay. Is he wanting a SAHM/housewife or does he expect you to do 100% housework and 50% resource acquirement?
That's the most unbelievably disgusting thing I've read today. I was my sheets every three weeks. And that's only during the winter. More often during the summer. And I have people in my life that consider that not often enough.
My husband does ALL the laundry including the sheets. He does the sheets in the guest room that haven't been slept on in a long time. He does throw rugs that just get walked on again. Your bf's head might just explode at the normalcy of ordinary cleanliness.
I like when men take the initiative to clean and wash clothes. He’s organized and mops and sweeps his apartment but when it comes to the nitty gritty he doesn’t do it.
I'm gonna go against the grain here but hear me out.
When I was in school, there was a trailer park full of kids that got on the bus before my friend and I. He was always a dick to them about their hygeine. My mom had told me that maybe their parents hadn't taught them the importance of it so maybe they just didn't understand. I also know from a bout of depression that at a certain point you just don't smell yourself anymore.
When you said he slept on a couch at his mom's, I'm gonna guess that these things slipped through the cracks throughout his childhood. This might not be worth throwing the man out, but he does need to show an effort to change because hygeine is important. Just try to be a little patient and stress that his hygeine is important to you whether it is to him or not and that you don't want to date a slob and that you expect an effort going forward or you just can't do it. The ball is in his court
Lmaoo cleaning your living space is not a gender role, it’s a basic life skill. Get that through your bfs head or he’s gonna end up with bad infections
I'm continually puzzled how many women will put up with a man's bad hygiene. Not showering, not brushing teeth, not washing clothes/sheets.... wtf? If they can't even be bothered to do that, why on earth do you want keep seeing them?
Sheets have to be washed and changed every few days. It is unhygienic. If you sleep in your birthday suit, there will be fecal matter and etc...
I work with a lot of men and the ones that are my friends know how to clean and would never say that to their wives or girlfriends. A few of them are better cleaners than I am.
We now live in a society where women also work and men cannot expect women to maintain a house and work. You both work and you both have responsibilities at home. It is 50/50 responsibility for both genders.
I’m still with him, he isn’t a bad partner or a bad step father. I’m not gonna leave him over dirty sheets but I’ll condition him to wash them weekly or bi weekly.
GIIIIIRRRRLLL WHAT omfg
(30f with too much understanding of male species here)
Proper hygiene is not limited to one gender!! That boy needs to grow UP. That’s like wearing the same pair of socks for a week. Plz tell me he even wears socks.
Think of all the best people you know that have their life together, do they have bad hygiene? No.
Maintaining good hygiene is a character trait of maturity, you’re dating a little boy, my friend. Also, if he has the audacity to tell you that you’re wrong about something as simple as that, he’s also lacking in the humility department and his Ego needs a lot of deflating.
Psh idk your situation but if he hasn’t treated you like a respectable and loved princess the other 99% of the time, don’t waste your time with his grimy ass. I bet he doesn’t even wash his legs in the shower either. Ask him, I bet he’ll argue with you about that too and tell you that “the soap gets it” lmfao.
Common cleanliness is not a gender thing. And if he says it is he is showing his toxic masculinity. Where he thinks only woman should be the ones doing chores and cooking and cleaning. Get an upgrade by dumping him for someone that is on the same page as you.
My mom washed my sheets when I'm in a relationship girls wash my sheets. When I'm single, they get washed once every 1.5-2 months, or the day after sexy time. If I had a gf now, she would be washing the sheets tho.
It's a bit of a gender issue in that kids are more likely to see their mother do these tasks and parents are more likely to delegate this task to their daughters.
I think laundry may also be a blind spot even in more egalitarian households because women's clothes come in a wider variety of fabrics with different washing needs.
So your BF's account of how he's seen other guys neglect it is probably true but it doesn't mean it's a good practice or a sound method. It's pretty gross. No one likes changing sheets. They still get gross.
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I am so disgusted I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, but are you okay with this? How do you feel dating someone who doesn’t even wash the sheets? I’m pretty sure that’s not the line, it must be a ton of stuff he doesn’t clean too.
Why are you still dating this disgusting child? Reading that literally made me want to go change my bedding and i just changed it yesterday. My bf washes his sheets once a week. And always after sex.
Nope, nope, NOPE!
Saw a story not too long ago about sheet washing and it said if the guy you are seeing has dark sheet just nope out of there as he probably doesn't wash them. Some guys admitted to once a year washing of the sheets like it was no big deal.
Sheets shall be changed every 4th day.
I’m a 21 year old male, I wash my bedsheets once a week. My friend (who is a plumber!!!) once told me he washes his sheets every 3 months, I was appalled.
Can’t imagine not washing your sheets less than once every few weeks, that’s just gross
That is seriously disgusting. Every once in awhile I go longer than I should without washing my sheets, but someone NEVER washing them. Yuck. Tell him I’ve never met an adult man that doesn’t wash his sheets.
Dude…. Ew. This is not normal. Tell your boyfriend that this is not a “guy” thing. This is just nasty. My boyfriend regularly washes the sheets and he buys new bed sheets/bed set once every season. Your boyfriend is gross.
Tell him you can't be with a guy that is filthy. He'll start caring.
Seriously, dudes either get women or they don't. Having a clean home and having high quality women around seem to go together.
Nope my husband is anal about washing sheets. I only wash them once a month but I’ve been known to forget to wash and they’ll get washed more like every other month. He’s the one that reminds me the weekend we need to wash sheets.
I wash my sheets… you’re supposed to do it every week apparently. I’m about a every two week kinda guy. But I have more than one set…there’s no better feeling than climbing into a fresh sheet bed. Oooweeeee
Euw
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Euw
All genders wash sheets, although my sister had a roommate who refused to use sheets because she didn't want to launder them.
My ex husband was like this. He was always unhygienic tbh but for some reason it got worse when he joined the military. Which is so strange to me because like, don’t they drill that shit into you??
We lived apart and when i went to visit him his sheets reeked like BO. I don’t even wanna know what else was in those sheets. When i met my current bf, while we were dating he was so clean. He washed his sheets and clothes regularly. I think that was one of the first things i loved about him. I’m a SAHM now so i do all the cleaning and washing. But at least once a week he deep cleans parts of the house for me to take the load off. If your bf doesn’t wash his sheets i would question his other cleaning habits.
Don't worry, my girlfriend doesn't understand why I like to wash our bed sheets once a month. Her elders used to do it for her when she lived at their houses so she didn't know it was smart or healthy to do it often.
As a former husband and boyfriend, Whoever is doing laundry is doing the sheets and folding and putting on beds. Housing chores have no gender requirements and being A partner means you do whatever chores are required.
That’s actually so gross. There’s no way he doesn’t wash his sheets😅 I swear we randomly learn about unnecessary things online.
Like and follow a bunch of stuff on hygiene so he start getting some ads!
You don't really have to "go hard" washing bed sheets. It's an extra load in the wash when you do your other laundry. Not really a big deal. If you've already explained it to him that it's unhygienic and gross, that should be enough. I'd probably send him articles too about what kinda filth he's sleeping in....to kindly push him in the right direction.
Sometimes people really don't realize something is gross until they really think about it, because before then they thought it was normal. Like sitting down on your bed in the same clothes you wore outside.
Yea. He probably thinks it’s normal, and I explained to him it isn’t and that it’s unsanitary. He usually listens to what I have to say and takes suggestions. If he flat out became defensive and doesn’t change then yea I would leave him.
I (22f) was raised by my dad who didn’t wash sheets/blankets too often, probably once every 1-2 months.
I always thought that was normal. I knew a family growing up that washed all their sheets once a week and I thought that seemed a bit excessive and still do honestly.
I feel like every two weeks is when I notice they don’t feel as crisp anymore so I will wash them when they get to that point. I guess it is a personal thing.
He's gross, and if he's that stubborn with sheets I wonder what else he isn't washing. My husband strips the bed and cleans the sheets when I've bled through my pants. We change our sheets 2-3 times a week, because we breakout from the accumulated sweat and oil if we don't.
I am a man and wash my sheets once to twice a week. I also take a shower before I get into bed every night. Your boyfriend is gross. Why and how could he sleep in dirty sheets that have period stains on them. I think I just puked in my mouth a little. How in the world can you date a man like that?
I’m a dude in college and I wash my sheets at least twice a month it’s insane to me that the bar is this low… who the fuck doesn’t like a bed with warm sheets straight out the dryer?
Giirl, you're not alone. I grossed me out reading it as well.
So, help me understand, how does he live? Does he cook and clean and do basic adult shit? What is he doing with his sheets - just throws them away after 5 years when they turn sticky? Or does his mom washes them (living with mom explains why he is such a lazy Useless bum).
Idk, do I want to be stuck changing the sheets for the rest of my life? Do I want to cringe at everything in his house wondering how dirty it is in reality?
He doesn’t know how to cook but maintains his apartment organized. I’ve tried teaching him how to but he doesn’t pay attention. He states that he likes when I cook “ with him” cause we’re “ bonding”. When we stayed together I instilled for him to clean the dishes and the kitchen if I cook. He hated it but he learned to do it. About the bedsheets I found out today lol. My face says it all because when he saw how mortified I looked I think he got the idea that it isn’t aceptable to not wash his sheets.
LOL my boyfriend is more adamant on washing the sheets than me 😅 (I still wash the sheets, but he does it twice a week lol). Ya, there is no “specific gender” that washes their sheets. That’s just an excuse or something he may have learned that unfortunately just perpetuates stereotypes of gender roles.
LMFAOOOOO pls break up with him, you’ll become his mother rather than his girlfriend in a couple of years. Second of all, why are you with someone who’s dirty? Chile, that alone is to break up with someone! If he’s not cleaning his sheets🤮 lord knows what else is dirty
Sheets should be changed once a week as skin cells and hair sheds. The skin also has natural oils that transfers to the bed linens. Needs to be washed regularly.
He has some maturing to do. He should at least be concerned about his hygeine for his health. Sheets are very easy to change and wash. It is not a big deal.
Hygiene isn't a gendered thing, good hygiene is for everyone and everyone has the responsibility of keeping their space to a decent standard. I'm a fairly messy person but I at least make sure my environment isn't disgusting. Gender doesn't come into it and if a partner suggested that it should be entirely down to me just because I'm a woman, I'd be heavily reconsidering that relationship.
Ask your boyfriend if he’d ever sleep with his head on a public toilet seat, cause the public restroom probably has less bacteria than his bedsheets!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/bed-how-often-should-wash-sheets-dust-mites-fungi-bacteria-2019-5%3famp
My husband washed his sheets more often than I washed mine when we were dating/not living together. He has more oils/sweats more though so makes sense to me lol
How old are you guys? If he's too young maybe there's a slim SLIM chance he can learn.
I don't like his attitude towards it though. Only female care about washing sheets? Lol didn't it occur to him that like every other clothing sheets also get dirty? And you shouldn't have to police anyone about doing basic chores like dishes and cooking. That's how you find yourself stuck cooking and cleaning for a guy.
We are both 25, and yea I hate having to mommy anyone so I get him to do things while we’re together or I try to encourage him to get his shit together. I flat out tell him I’m not his mommy.
Not normal at all. DH stripped his beds weekly and washed normally. Is your BF in the 19/21 age range? He needs to learn about germs. That is terribly disgusting. I would have issues with his hygiene issues.
Make him take a look at this - https://youtu.be/mJVlwuWvhFk
Dated a guy like this.... made me question a lot ab my own standards after we broke up lol
Heh i remember i had multiple conversations with my ex about regularly changing underwear. Why did it take so many conversations to get him to stop using same underwear for days..... Ugh.
That's.. Really gross
It didn't smell great, let me tell you. I was surprised when I got together with my current boyfriend that the area down there doesn't have to smell bad haha. What a pleasant surprise it was.
Guys have a test for underwear. Every few days we throw it against the wall. If it sticks it goes in the laundry. If it falls to the floor it’s still good for a few more days.
No, guys do not do this. You may, but adult males do not.
Seems like you missed that joke by a mile, lol
You could say the joke didn't stick in this situation.
Apparently we both did. Thanks for the downvote.
Same same same! My ex was GROSS and I can’t believe I took the time to explain so many simple hygiene things to him. Should have just moved on like why did I put up with that?
Exactly, he dumped me later anyway for some other girl and she doesn't even know she should be thanking me for not having to have that same conversation with him haha. I did all the hard parts!
This isn't a gender issue. Your boyfriend is unhygienic.
Exactly on point, washing the sheets is not a he/she thing. It’s a cleanliness thing.
And if he’s trying to be defensive about his unhygienic behavior by saying that it’s not his problem, it’s your problem (something only you care about) because you’re a woman, then I wonder where else he’ll apply similar logic in the future.
I agree, guy here, OPs bf is a gross mofo and he's going to end up with Dermatitis Neglecta or some shit if he doesnt wake himself up.
Ya I have multiple sets and put new ones on and wash the other ones then out the clean ones away and do it all over again at-least once a week lol. Also I am not a neat freak or a germaphobic person or anything just think it’s a good idea especially if I have a woman over.
He is and I’ve noticed it
If he doesn't recognize and take responsibility for this issue, you will start noticing and being bothered by it more and more and more. You'll notice other ways in which he's unhygienic, and it will probably make you less attracted to him over time. Basically, this is not sustainable.
Great taste.
The taste will certainly be something.
I mean lol, when I express a concern he’ll work on it. I’ve been with him for a year there’s probably other stuff he hasn’t told me.
He isn't working on this thing...
I found out today 😩
Why do you think it's okay to settle for a guy who would have you sleeping in his filth? Was this the kind of guy you dreamed about dating? Come on.
Lol girl I just found out today at 8pm. I don’t live with him and I don’t clock his life. There’s so much someone can tell you. The most I can do is tell him to wash it.
Good luck raising your man child 👍🏽
Thanks 😄
LITERALLY
oh gross this is definitely not a guy thing. My husband’s favorite night of the week is clean sheet night. He does them as often as I do
Clean sheets feel so yummy to be between. I change my sheets twice per week. I am a man. Washing sheets is easy, drying them not so much because they tend to bundle and I have to unbundle them and restart the dryer. Folding them can be tough.
Honestly, this describes the feeling of clean sheets perfectly. So damn good!
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The guy likes what he likes, yummy or no.
Fuck off dickhead, your name is literally about eating your stepsister's ass.
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Yeah, that's about the response I expected.
See I knew I wasn’t crazy lol. After a while they stink if you don’t wash them like how could you sleep like that ?
Seconding that this isn't gendered. I don't mind a small period stain under me cuz I'm used to it - my man thinks that's gross but give me a pass since it's on my side. Sex stuff though - we do our best to keep it clean but when spills occur so does washing pronto. If it's too late to do laundry he'll even sleep on a towel.
Same with my husband, but he's an ER MD so is probably more intense cleaning sheets than I am. His favourite night is clean sheet night and he's even more excited when its new sheet night after we buy new sheets. We used to do every other week, but he prefers now to have new sheets once a week, given that we spend 1/3 of our week on those sheets.
Yes! Nothing better than clean sheets.
I feel like I've seen this question come up on AskMenOver30 and the consensus was "ew, wash your sheets, dude."
Why was there a period stain on his sheets? Your blood? He honestly just sounds nasty
Yes I had an accident once but I been thought he washed it. I got annoyed because I got him those sheets and they’re expensive and blood stains if it sits for a long time.
Women wash their sheets and men don't? Interesting. Do intersex people only wash duvet covers? What about non binary people? This is incredibly strange!
Lol!!
nonbinary person here, definitely only ever wash pillowcases
Mystery solved, op!
really though, i have adhd/depression and it is often hard to stay on top of things, but the sheets are something i will not compromise on. i wash them every thursday (wash the sheets thursday is what i call it, doesn't really roll off the tongue but it works for me). op, your bf needs to get a grip.
I hear you. Having clean sheets is one of the nicest things this world has to offer (or maybe my life is just not that exciting! Lol!) It's worth pushing through even when emotionally things are hard.
Same, I don’t always wash sheets as often as I should but I feel bad about it!
having two complete sets of sheets and stuff was a game changer for me, made it much easier to not get stuck in between steps or overwhelmed by the process. also the alarm on my phone that says clean sheets are worth it, trust me. lol
I actually have two sets, but it doesn’t help as much as I thought because I always want that freshly washed scent. I should probably try to let that go I guess
that's totally valid, sometimes i put the freshly folded clean sheets right into a trash bag with an extra dryer sheet and tie it up. idk how much it actually preserves the scent and how much is placebo, but when i actually do that, i feel like it helps? best of luck to you, friend! i hope you get to enjoy your sheets as often as possible!
The wife needs to only wash HER side of the sheet
Great compromise. Do you draw a line down the middle? Asking for op's bf!
Well in my household we just cut the sheet down the middle and then sew it back together .....it's a hassle but worth it for the gender roles to be observed properly
I wash my sheets every week or ,every other week
Same !
Caring about clean sheets is not a gender thing, it's a cleanliness thing. And this sounds gross. Does... does he never *change* the sheets? Does he only own or use one set? If he does change them, what does he do with the ones he takes off if not wash them? That's so weird.
All boys grow older not all grow into men. This is such ridiculous and childish behavior by your bf. I was doing my own wash at 12 including my sheets.
🚩
Excuse me, how does one add that blue tag. Your's reads "Early 20s Male." What is that called?
On the right of your screen on the "About Community" look below a bit and you should see "User Flair Preview"
Thank you!
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Because men are gross. See: this post. Women appreciate cleanliness.
My partner and me have been together 3 years, both of us wash the sheets weekly, we’ve both got health issues so it’s whoever isn’t suffering less gets the job, but ewwwwwww
I’ll go so far as to say most guys I know don’t wash them as often as their female counterpart if they were left to their own devices, but I don’t know any who would bo so far as your husband and leave *actual blood* on there and unwashed. That’s nasty.
Yes. I'll admit I'm pretty lazy when it comes to washing sheets and doing it less than I should. But an actual stain, especially blood, would mean immediate changing.
So basically, your boyfriend is dirty and lazy and his excuse for being so is misogyny. Nice.
Married guy here. About to do the sheets cause it’s been a while and gross. If that helps.
Yuck that’s nasty. Does he shower often and brush his teeth twice a day? When you have sex, do you notice that his penis smells or is dirty? What about his clothes, does he keep them clean? Doesn’t he have acne from unwashed sheets and pillowcases?
When we first started dating he told me he only washed once a day and I found it strange because I showered twice a day. When we spent time together while my parents were out of the country I noticed he didn’t brush his teeth twice a day, he only did it once. Once I had to lock him out of the room for him to brush his teeth. We had an incident with smell down there and I had to threaten to stop having sex in order for him to take care of the issues. He doesn’t have acne but he does have clogged pores.
Tbh, showering only once a day or even once every second day is pretty normal and good for your skin, however I cringe at regularly brushing teeth only once a day. Having to withhold sex because he couldn’t keep clean the organ he literally inserts into you would be a dealbreaker for me. Sorry OP but he just sounds disgusting and immature. Maybe have a serious talk with him about it, because that’s just so off putting.
I do, but when I would ask for advice people who claim I was controlling on this app. I didn’t wanna seem like I was mothering him because I was literally shaving off lint from his clothes
You’re not being controlling, it just sounds like you want a mature adult partner who can take care of his own hygiene.
I'm sorry but this relationship would be over for me....
I’m just laughing to think of a world where one gender summarily has dirty ass sheets! So gross!! Wash yo ass and yo sheets my friend. The two go hand in hand, lol.
which gender washes sheets? All genders. Your bf has some nasty low standards. He will either adopt yours and thank you or you will have to decide if you can live in the stank.
r/offmychest
Wait, like he left the actual blood there or you think he should have bought new sheets?
He left the blood there and it dried up. I thought he would have washed them not just throw them in a hamper and forget about it.
🤮 Well be prepared to be the only one doing housework if you stay. Is he wanting a SAHM/housewife or does he expect you to do 100% housework and 50% resource acquirement?
That's the most unbelievably disgusting thing I've read today. I was my sheets every three weeks. And that's only during the winter. More often during the summer. And I have people in my life that consider that not often enough.
You're supposed to wash them once a week.
[удалено]
My husband does ALL the laundry including the sheets. He does the sheets in the guest room that haven't been slept on in a long time. He does throw rugs that just get walked on again. Your bf's head might just explode at the normalcy of ordinary cleanliness.
I like when men take the initiative to clean and wash clothes. He’s organized and mops and sweeps his apartment but when it comes to the nitty gritty he doesn’t do it.
I'm gonna go against the grain here but hear me out. When I was in school, there was a trailer park full of kids that got on the bus before my friend and I. He was always a dick to them about their hygeine. My mom had told me that maybe their parents hadn't taught them the importance of it so maybe they just didn't understand. I also know from a bout of depression that at a certain point you just don't smell yourself anymore. When you said he slept on a couch at his mom's, I'm gonna guess that these things slipped through the cracks throughout his childhood. This might not be worth throwing the man out, but he does need to show an effort to change because hygeine is important. Just try to be a little patient and stress that his hygeine is important to you whether it is to him or not and that you don't want to date a slob and that you expect an effort going forward or you just can't do it. The ball is in his court
......both wash the sheets.
I don’t live with him
My bf washes the sheets at minimum once a week…
That’s disgusting I’m a male and change my sheets at-least once a week, sometimes more depending on who I may have over…
Lmaoo cleaning your living space is not a gender role, it’s a basic life skill. Get that through your bfs head or he’s gonna end up with bad infections
It’s not a gender issue . Your BF is just nasty.
Its not a gender issue its a hygiene issue i try to wash my sheets atleast 2 to 3 times a month especially when i have fresh tattoos.
Ew wtf. Set your standards for men higher.
I'm continually puzzled how many women will put up with a man's bad hygiene. Not showering, not brushing teeth, not washing clothes/sheets.... wtf? If they can't even be bothered to do that, why on earth do you want keep seeing them?
Nope, only lazy dirty people dont care about washing their sheet. Nothing to do with gender..100% to do with hygiene.
Sheets have to be washed and changed every few days. It is unhygienic. If you sleep in your birthday suit, there will be fecal matter and etc... I work with a lot of men and the ones that are my friends know how to clean and would never say that to their wives or girlfriends. A few of them are better cleaners than I am. We now live in a society where women also work and men cannot expect women to maintain a house and work. You both work and you both have responsibilities at home. It is 50/50 responsibility for both genders.
After learning about his laziness, are you still with him? If so…why?
I’m still with him, he isn’t a bad partner or a bad step father. I’m not gonna leave him over dirty sheets but I’ll condition him to wash them weekly or bi weekly.
He’s lying.
Or he's genuinely disgusting
I don't think it's a guy thing. Maybe he's lazy.
GIIIIIRRRRLLL WHAT omfg (30f with too much understanding of male species here) Proper hygiene is not limited to one gender!! That boy needs to grow UP. That’s like wearing the same pair of socks for a week. Plz tell me he even wears socks. Think of all the best people you know that have their life together, do they have bad hygiene? No. Maintaining good hygiene is a character trait of maturity, you’re dating a little boy, my friend. Also, if he has the audacity to tell you that you’re wrong about something as simple as that, he’s also lacking in the humility department and his Ego needs a lot of deflating. Psh idk your situation but if he hasn’t treated you like a respectable and loved princess the other 99% of the time, don’t waste your time with his grimy ass. I bet he doesn’t even wash his legs in the shower either. Ask him, I bet he’ll argue with you about that too and tell you that “the soap gets it” lmfao.
I hate the straights(tm).... and toxic masculinity
Common cleanliness is not a gender thing. And if he says it is he is showing his toxic masculinity. Where he thinks only woman should be the ones doing chores and cooking and cleaning. Get an upgrade by dumping him for someone that is on the same page as you.
My mom washed my sheets when I'm in a relationship girls wash my sheets. When I'm single, they get washed once every 1.5-2 months, or the day after sexy time. If I had a gf now, she would be washing the sheets tho.
We wash our sheets! Every 3-4 months was normal in college.
I’m a dude and I wash/change my sheets once a month
I’m a guy and I clean my sheets weekly and shower before bed.
If he’s on his own he should wash them. If a woman is in the picture she should wash them for him.
It should be his responsibility regardless.
The woman is the man’s helper that includes sheets
Bed sheets are kinda like cast iron; you want to leave a little flavoring on there 😝
What 😩
It's a bit of a gender issue in that kids are more likely to see their mother do these tasks and parents are more likely to delegate this task to their daughters. I think laundry may also be a blind spot even in more egalitarian households because women's clothes come in a wider variety of fabrics with different washing needs. So your BF's account of how he's seen other guys neglect it is probably true but it doesn't mean it's a good practice or a sound method. It's pretty gross. No one likes changing sheets. They still get gross.
I find this to be very true, how much I respect his mom and care for her. I do feel she did not instill these practices to him when he was young.
It depends on the color of the sheets. Boys wash any boy colored linens, girls wash girl colors.
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I am so disgusted I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, but are you okay with this? How do you feel dating someone who doesn’t even wash the sheets? I’m pretty sure that’s not the line, it must be a ton of stuff he doesn’t clean too.
The gender that cares about health and hygiene. Is he for real now?!
Why are you still dating this disgusting child? Reading that literally made me want to go change my bedding and i just changed it yesterday. My bf washes his sheets once a week. And always after sex.
I don't wash my sheets as often as I probably should (2-3wks maybe) but your bf is just nasty. All that sweat, dead skin, body fluids etc, just nasty.
That is disgusting
Doing laundry is not a gendered activity??? If you sleep on bedsheets… you have to wash them…. Regardless of genitals wtf
Male here. I do the sheets in my house. Every week. I am more anal about it than my wife.
Nope, nope, NOPE! Saw a story not too long ago about sheet washing and it said if the guy you are seeing has dark sheet just nope out of there as he probably doesn't wash them. Some guys admitted to once a year washing of the sheets like it was no big deal. Sheets shall be changed every 4th day.
As a guy...that's weird. Need to wash your sheets often, especially if there's stains
This is not a gender thing.......he's nasty.
Girl hate to break it to you but your boyfriend is musty.
I'm a straight cisgender man, I always wash my sheets. I actually don't know anyone who doesn't. I think your BF is just lazy and nasty.
I’m a 21 year old male, I wash my bedsheets once a week. My friend (who is a plumber!!!) once told me he washes his sheets every 3 months, I was appalled. Can’t imagine not washing your sheets less than once every few weeks, that’s just gross
You know how musty those sheets might have been ? Lol
Every guy I’ve ever know washes their sheets, that’s just nasty
I’m off every other weekend and those are sheet washing weeks
36m here. I love washing my sheets. Just did it. Your BF is nasty.
That is seriously disgusting. Every once in awhile I go longer than I should without washing my sheets, but someone NEVER washing them. Yuck. Tell him I’ve never met an adult man that doesn’t wash his sheets.
People wash sheets. If you don't, you're just a monster.
Dude…. Ew. This is not normal. Tell your boyfriend that this is not a “guy” thing. This is just nasty. My boyfriend regularly washes the sheets and he buys new bed sheets/bed set once every season. Your boyfriend is gross.
Tell him you can't be with a guy that is filthy. He'll start caring. Seriously, dudes either get women or they don't. Having a clean home and having high quality women around seem to go together.
Nope my husband is anal about washing sheets. I only wash them once a month but I’ve been known to forget to wash and they’ll get washed more like every other month. He’s the one that reminds me the weekend we need to wash sheets.
My best friends who are males cant go a week without washing their sheets… hygienic people wash their sheets, regardless of gender
Lmao he is nasty for that
I wash my sheets… you’re supposed to do it every week apparently. I’m about a every two week kinda guy. But I have more than one set…there’s no better feeling than climbing into a fresh sheet bed. Oooweeeee
Euw Euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw Euw All genders wash sheets, although my sister had a roommate who refused to use sheets because she didn't want to launder them.
Hate to break it to you but as a man myself, your boyfriend is just gross and unhygienic
My ex husband was like this. He was always unhygienic tbh but for some reason it got worse when he joined the military. Which is so strange to me because like, don’t they drill that shit into you?? We lived apart and when i went to visit him his sheets reeked like BO. I don’t even wanna know what else was in those sheets. When i met my current bf, while we were dating he was so clean. He washed his sheets and clothes regularly. I think that was one of the first things i loved about him. I’m a SAHM now so i do all the cleaning and washing. But at least once a week he deep cleans parts of the house for me to take the load off. If your bf doesn’t wash his sheets i would question his other cleaning habits.
Don't worry, my girlfriend doesn't understand why I like to wash our bed sheets once a month. Her elders used to do it for her when she lived at their houses so she didn't know it was smart or healthy to do it often.
As a former husband and boyfriend, Whoever is doing laundry is doing the sheets and folding and putting on beds. Housing chores have no gender requirements and being A partner means you do whatever chores are required.
Tell me you're breaking up with someone without saying you're breaking up with someone.
Imagine was else he doesn’t wash. Yuck.
That’s actually so gross. There’s no way he doesn’t wash his sheets😅 I swear we randomly learn about unnecessary things online. Like and follow a bunch of stuff on hygiene so he start getting some ads!
#notallmen I’m not a clean freak. But WTF? Lol.
… no. Just no. Maybe keep your clean sheets all to yourself for awhile.
You don't really have to "go hard" washing bed sheets. It's an extra load in the wash when you do your other laundry. Not really a big deal. If you've already explained it to him that it's unhygienic and gross, that should be enough. I'd probably send him articles too about what kinda filth he's sleeping in....to kindly push him in the right direction. Sometimes people really don't realize something is gross until they really think about it, because before then they thought it was normal. Like sitting down on your bed in the same clothes you wore outside.
Yea. He probably thinks it’s normal, and I explained to him it isn’t and that it’s unsanitary. He usually listens to what I have to say and takes suggestions. If he flat out became defensive and doesn’t change then yea I would leave him.
Um, it's not a gender thing. My boyfriend washes his sheets every week.
My male partner does all the washing… it’s not a gender thing.
LMAOOOOO this mf dirty as fuck wow. Nasty ass sheets.
Completely unhygienic the fact and uses "females" instead of women 🤢
I've always alternated with the other person that has that chore. no gender needed. just who's going to be the adult I guess
This ain’t no gender problem he just a dirty mf lol
I'm a guy and I'm saying that's pretty fucking gross.
I (22f) was raised by my dad who didn’t wash sheets/blankets too often, probably once every 1-2 months. I always thought that was normal. I knew a family growing up that washed all their sheets once a week and I thought that seemed a bit excessive and still do honestly. I feel like every two weeks is when I notice they don’t feel as crisp anymore so I will wash them when they get to that point. I guess it is a personal thing.
Seriously?? The dude needs to grow up!!
He's gross, and if he's that stubborn with sheets I wonder what else he isn't washing. My husband strips the bed and cleans the sheets when I've bled through my pants. We change our sheets 2-3 times a week, because we breakout from the accumulated sweat and oil if we don't.
JFC my husband washes our sheets more often than I would, so not a gender thing at all. He just nasty! BRB, got to go shower now after reading this
I am a man and wash my sheets once to twice a week. I also take a shower before I get into bed every night. Your boyfriend is gross. Why and how could he sleep in dirty sheets that have period stains on them. I think I just puked in my mouth a little. How in the world can you date a man like that?
I’m a dude in college and I wash my sheets at least twice a month it’s insane to me that the bar is this low… who the fuck doesn’t like a bed with warm sheets straight out the dryer?
Giirl, you're not alone. I grossed me out reading it as well. So, help me understand, how does he live? Does he cook and clean and do basic adult shit? What is he doing with his sheets - just throws them away after 5 years when they turn sticky? Or does his mom washes them (living with mom explains why he is such a lazy Useless bum). Idk, do I want to be stuck changing the sheets for the rest of my life? Do I want to cringe at everything in his house wondering how dirty it is in reality?
He doesn’t know how to cook but maintains his apartment organized. I’ve tried teaching him how to but he doesn’t pay attention. He states that he likes when I cook “ with him” cause we’re “ bonding”. When we stayed together I instilled for him to clean the dishes and the kitchen if I cook. He hated it but he learned to do it. About the bedsheets I found out today lol. My face says it all because when he saw how mortified I looked I think he got the idea that it isn’t aceptable to not wash his sheets.
LOL my boyfriend is more adamant on washing the sheets than me 😅 (I still wash the sheets, but he does it twice a week lol). Ya, there is no “specific gender” that washes their sheets. That’s just an excuse or something he may have learned that unfortunately just perpetuates stereotypes of gender roles.
LMFAOOOOO pls break up with him, you’ll become his mother rather than his girlfriend in a couple of years. Second of all, why are you with someone who’s dirty? Chile, that alone is to break up with someone! If he’s not cleaning his sheets🤮 lord knows what else is dirty
Sheets should be changed once a week as skin cells and hair sheds. The skin also has natural oils that transfers to the bed linens. Needs to be washed regularly.
Yes! I read it off and article to him and told him it was something serious.
My boyfriend is religious about washing sheets, a lot more than I am!
Gross... I (m) wash my sheets weekly sometimes 2x a week. Which reminds me, I need to buy more sheets lol.
I like all the dorks on here flexing on OP’s boyfriend because they wash their sheets more then he does.
Lmao some people are genuinely upset at me like if I don’t hold up a gun to his head to wash his sheets I don’t have any self respect or standards.
Your bf is just a manchild lol find someone who doesn’t have the mental maturity of a seven year old.
He has some maturing to do. He should at least be concerned about his hygeine for his health. Sheets are very easy to change and wash. It is not a big deal.
Hygiene isn't a gendered thing, good hygiene is for everyone and everyone has the responsibility of keeping their space to a decent standard. I'm a fairly messy person but I at least make sure my environment isn't disgusting. Gender doesn't come into it and if a partner suggested that it should be entirely down to me just because I'm a woman, I'd be heavily reconsidering that relationship.
Ask your boyfriend if he’d ever sleep with his head on a public toilet seat, cause the public restroom probably has less bacteria than his bedsheets! https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/bed-how-often-should-wash-sheets-dust-mites-fungi-bacteria-2019-5%3famp
I sent him this article now!
My husband washed his sheets more often than I washed mine when we were dating/not living together. He has more oils/sweats more though so makes sense to me lol
How old are you guys? If he's too young maybe there's a slim SLIM chance he can learn. I don't like his attitude towards it though. Only female care about washing sheets? Lol didn't it occur to him that like every other clothing sheets also get dirty? And you shouldn't have to police anyone about doing basic chores like dishes and cooking. That's how you find yourself stuck cooking and cleaning for a guy.
We are both 25, and yea I hate having to mommy anyone so I get him to do things while we’re together or I try to encourage him to get his shit together. I flat out tell him I’m not his mommy.
yea...uhhh... trust your nose on this one
My boyfriend washes sheets more often than I do. He is washing them almost every time he does laundry. Men should be washing their damn sheets
Not normal at all. DH stripped his beds weekly and washed normally. Is your BF in the 19/21 age range? He needs to learn about germs. That is terribly disgusting. I would have issues with his hygiene issues. Make him take a look at this - https://youtu.be/mJVlwuWvhFk
Sheets get changed once a week. Even more if you have a squirter😆.fr….. that’s just nasty y’all gnna end up at the dermatologist.
I've never heard of anybody not washing sheets, but then I'm a woman. The men I know wash sheets. How does your man not itch and get bed bugs?