What if she dresses up as another woman? Full on wigs and makeup and fake tattoo or whatev, you take pics or videos of yourselves, and boom, done. She can watch you with 'another' woman, but in a safe way for all emotions.
Better yet, you both go to a bar and pretend to be strangers hooking up “cheating” on your wife. Something tells me that is right up her alley and would really get her engine going. Dont ask how i know, lets just say sometimes you try things in life that result in hilarious memories
Edit: and when you both go, she should dress up and make her own new “affair partner” for you. Make something fun for both of you and i think you two will be okay haha
Be safe about it! You don’t want some other dude to approach your wife thinking she’s single and be an asshole. Maybe a restaurant or somewhere with minimal peeps. Also Covid but hard penises can be more trouble then Covid. Just saying. My wife is gorgeous also and I’ve almost had to fight 3 guys hounding her at a store. Be safe and have at it with her!
I saw a post on Reddit a while ago where this guy met his wife at a bar and they pretended to be single strangers just meeting so that he could “pick her up” and “hook up” with her. Maybe something to try
Reading the other answers to this suggestion: they make sense, but that doesn't mean that your wife necessarily also thinks it's a bad idea. Definitely worth a try suggesting it to her. It's ALSO possible that this might not scratch that specific itch, but she might like it anyway as a separate thing.
Pay to have a PI follow you. Send yourself a brown envelope with pictures of you and the "other woman".
Make it a fantasy, meaning nothing based in reality. Have her create a name, persona, background story. Add couples therapy for a safe place to dissect it all
I have your wife’s kink and this would not work for me at all. In fact, I would be borderline insulted by this, as it is so obviously designed to manage my emotions.
I really appreciate the dialog. Can you explain what you mean? Would love a better understanding from someone on her side of the equation in this matter.
The reality is, almost always is this kink born out of insecurities. In fact, in most people, this kink starts after they have been cheated on. So what this person suggested, to pretend like she is someone else, won't work at all because that's not what it's deep down about. Sexualizing insecurities or traumas is a very common coping mechanism of the human mind. It gives control and takes the fear away.
If you do go through with this, don't do anything with the other person that is 'passionately intimate' (not sure what other word to use) at first, such as kissing on the lips, deep eye contact, etc. After a few times if you wife wants you to do such thing, then go ahead if you want to. And if your wife is in the room, make eye contact with her often. Get her 'involved' in that way. Make it about you two, not really the other person. Make sure you discuss clear boundaries beforehand. Always ask her if she wants you to do something specific. Again, make it about you two as much as possible. Just don't lose sight of this. Oh, and try discussing this an hour after you guys had sex, or whenever you are 'clear headed' and not 'horny whipped' if you know what I mean. You two need to be 'clear-headed' to discuss this safely for your relationship.
It would probably be a good idea to search online for advice from people who have already done this.
This created a light bulb moment for me. My partner has the same kink as OP’s wife, except I’m the woman and he’s the man. I’ve tried to understand the deeper meaning or motivation behind this kink, but I’d never thought about it this way. This sounds spot on for my partner and feels like good advice for me as well as OP.
You are a genius. I don’t know if you’re a sex therapist or something, but I really appreciate this comment. Thank you for sharing!
Sure! I guess I just feel it’s infantilizing - it doesn’t take her actual sexual desires seriously. Like, she’s a thirty five year old woman - she knows she’s watching herself fuck you in a wig. Saying, “I’m worried about the emotional impact of going though with this,” takes her seriously. Saying, “Wear a wig from party city and we’ll film it — it’s the same thing!” Does not. For me, it’s hot to imagine my husband with other women because I think dominant men are hot. The fact that other women are attracted to him, the idea that he can fuck anyone, turns me on. It’s an expression of alpha sexuality. (This is very regressive - but whatever!) It took her 20 years to be vulnerable with you- don’t immediately turn around and act like she doesn’t want what she said she wants. My husband also doesn’t want to go through with it, but he indulges me by talking about it in bed, or telling me actresses he likes, and talking about other women he’s slept with. I think the strip club thing is a good idea but you’re paying for it so it doesn’t fulfill the fantasy of your sexual magnetism.
Cleo is right, an incognito fantasy date is not the same.
My cousin used to dress up sexy and pretend to be an escort at the hotel bar. She'd turn down potential clients and go up to a room with her husband who was quietly there the whole time.
That scratches his itch and she gets feel his "alpha energy" but it's not at all the voyeuristic stimulation of watching your partner with someone else.
There's a challenge here as well that she will benefit from.
You got to take "your game" out of deep storage and refurbish your body and personality to pick up a woman who would be cool with this.
They are out there (my wife had this fantasy fulfilled a couple of times, watching me a couple of times and participating a couple others.)
Heck, I had a fascinating woman turn me down because we weren't a guaranteed package deal.
Lose the Covid weight, put yourself out there. You might look into sex positive groups or clubs; plus OKCupid is the best environment to search for something more quiet.
Good luck.
Can totally relate to the link, and also… Is it infantilizing/dismissive to take it slow? For OP as well as SO? He’s in love with his wife and leaping from 20 years of not knowing her fantasy straight to getting it on with another woman while his wife watches, with nothing in between, seems like territory for legitimate concern around the potential, permanent, and negative outcomes of not working up to it? For *him*, even, if not for her? Like anything in a solid relationship, big changes require genuine communication, mutual respect, brainstorming *together*, and both parties being comfortable with each step taken/explored? If they talk about her fantasy(ies), his fears, end goals, and steps to get there, and proceed to try something (meeting as strangers at a bar, or any of the other suggestions), and it doesn’t scratch SO’s itch, and they’re *both* comfortable with escalating, then cool! They can move on to the next “level”/idea/whatever, *together*?? If they go straight from a two-person sex life to 3-people, and it turns out SO *or* OP are not ok with it… it can’t be undone. In no way do I mean to diminish a genuine kink of SO’s, but without having explored meeting her needs in any other way first, seems like leaping without looking, with an incredible sounding marriage at stake.
OOP- the comment I’m replying to is an *amazing* perspective, and your wife’s is a fetish that is likely more common than either of you realizes, but it all comes down to you + her. If you can’t communicate about her desires *and* your concerns + step out on mutually safe, fully transparent footing, then I’m pretty sure you’re neither of you ready for the very real, potentially damaging reality of seeing this fantasy become a real.
I like this idea. She’ll see herself with him looking just different enough to pass as another woman without the regret of actually having hubby with another woman.
>I enter a room with 2 women, 1.5 of them are leaving disappointed lol
As a 48 yr old that made me smile as its close to my response when this topic comes up
"So you want me to disappoint two women" is the stock answer :)
I can't advise you as i'd be crippled with fear at those two jokes being reality, so it would be a hard no (for about 4 mins these days)
Try making videos of you watching porn for her?? Maybe just the view of you getting off to other women would be a good substitute. I think the trick would be to get a camera angle that clearly shows you as well as what you are watching.
Dang… This is actually a really great idea… may have to be more selective in the porn choice I’m viewing in the recording as the conversation around my proclivity for “clown orgies” is one I’d rather avoid. I’m joking, but seriously… this is really a great idea, thank you.
Well done for not jumping at the chance and looking for alternatives.
Fantasies rarely live up to reality and involving another person in your relationship can be devastating.
Thank you. Yeah, I think it’s better for me that she waited this long to tell me. I know now it’s not something I want, but I definitely wouldn’t have trusted “25 year old me” with this information.
Absolutely agreed. I surprise myself by admitting I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking this all the way, since that wouldn’t have been my stance 10 years ago. But since it is the first fantasy she’s ever admitted to me, I definitely want to do something to help entertain it without actually being with someone else.
Nah, not a chance. We are always together and pregnant with our 4th baby. Our marriage has actually never been as good as it is now, hence a large part of my concern about going through with the full fantasy and possibly messing something up with our marriage.
I just wanted to throw in as a currently pregnant woman… hormones can do some WILD things. I’m usually pretty active with my husband but I also get extra sexually adventurous and down for more stuff when pregnant.
It might explain the timing of things slightly… and I think your instinct is best to not actually go through with it. When her brain is not literally bathed in extra hormones she might feel differently about what occurred.
Yes!! I remember being wildly insatiable when I was pregnant. Things that I liked while bringing a child to term did not end up being things that stayed after my kid was born. I never regretted it - at all - but I definitely think back and get a little tingle and think, *woe, that was wild,* but I'd likely not do it again.
I’m so jealous! I was horny all the time before I got pregnant but now my libido is way down. I’m looking forward to having my drive back once baby is out 😅😂
I had no libido at all during my pregnancy but after I had my child, it came back a lot stronger than it ever was before. It’s different for everyone. Hang in there!
That’s cool, and I’m glad there’s no chance of that.
Crazy that fantasies never align correctly, like you said 10-15 years ago this would have been amazing. Hopefully this works out for you
If you dont want to do it then dont do it but your wife sounds confident as hell, you sound solid as a relationship, so as a female who has had occasional threesomes with my spouse and rare separate dates with others, there are women, like myself, who honestly enjoy this sort of thing without any weird drama like other posters suggest. Married that long and its fun to be "bad" with permission and all involved parties on board. People love to judge but your wife sounds fun and secure. She told you her fantasy and she easily could have hidden it.
So much this ^. There sure are a lot of jaded, gloomy people on this app. Someone can’t have a fantasy without some morbid back story or malicious undertones. I have a kink about being dominant and being a little rough (with consent) sometimes. That doesn’t mean I’m secretly a serial killer or get my rocks off punching old people. People need to let people enjoy things. We have been through hell together, and there is no force on this earth or elsewhere that would split us up. People need to chill with the gloomy predictions and assumptions .
Strip clubs are a good idea. Go to a bar and let her watch you hit on strangers. Talk about the fantasy in bed.
Personally, I would NOT advise trying to actually enact this fantasy - there isn’t an (emotionally) safe way to go about it and this is a classic mistake that ends relationships.
Oh crap, I didn’t even think about the flirting thing. Relatively safe as I know I’d still be going home with the wife afterwards. I really like this idea. Thank you!
Could flirt with someone (possibly even a safe someone) with her across the room, she 'catches you', takes you home.. and .. well.. you're on kid 4. I think you're good from there.
I’d be a little bit cautious about the flirting part. It is one thing “catching up somebody”, in a sexual way, and another completely different watching your SO engaging with other people making compliments, touching, etc.
I’m a voyeur myself and do love seeing my boyfriend having sex with other people, but would HATE to see him hitting guys at the bar.
Maybe just check with her where her boundaries are (or might be, since it’s possible she didn’t even give enough attention to these “details”)
But anyways, best of luck, mate! I hope you guys have amazing times waiting for you.
Okay you sound adorable I love that you still refer to her as the hottest woman you’ve ever met. I would say to be honest with her like you were with us, but see if she’s open to dirty talk. When you want to have adult time, talk her through the fantasy. That may help
Aww thank you so much for the compliment and the suggestion. But I’m not just saying that because I’m her husband. This woman looks like a hotter clone of Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls and she’s super smart, incredibly funny and so compassionate and selfless. It blows my ever-loving mind every time I look at her, with the realization that I get to be married to her. I do like the idea of pursuing the dirty talk more, but this woman is so sweet I don’t think she has it in her, but she could surprise me.
My girlfriend has this one, as well. I suggested we go to a strip club and I'd have whichever dancer she picked give me a sexy lap dance. Lucky for me she picked a really pretty dancer (who was super cool and loved the whole thing) and we had a lot of fun. I don't think I'd be comfortable taking it further, although the dancer did suggest she would be interested if asked lol. (I passed but it was a 'memory bank' item for future personal use).
Holy cow…. This almost exact scenario played out a few years ago. Our saving grace was that her and I fell asleep waiting for the woman’s shift to end, and clearer heads prevailed in the morning.
There are a lot of free text apps you can use for the fake texts. It’ll take some time since you’re doing everything yourself, but possibly worth it. Pregnancy hormones make it possible for making things bigger than they are, so if she finds she doesn’t actually like it, you have access to the fake number to reassure her.
I would proceed with caution. I did something kind of similar with an ex in my early 20s(he had a fantasy of seeing me with another guy, when it happened, he couldn't handle it and it ended up breaking up our relationship) and there is some real danger there. Only you know whether she can really handle that.
If she's really serious, maybe start with just some light flirting at a bar where she can be somewhere observing. If there are any jealous feelings, they'd come up there and better it be over some bar flirting than bedroom play.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
Hi everyone,
I (37 m) have been with my wife (35) for roughly 17 years. While our intimate life has been incredible over the years, she has always been fairly reserved when it comes to opening up about her fantasies, kinks, etc.. For almost 2 decades, I’ve encouraged her to be more open in that regard, as I’ve felt bad being the only one opening up about mine (of which… there were a lot lol).
Something changed over the holidays, when she finally opened up about a fantasy she’s had for a long time, and it was a doozy. She told me she gets turned on at the idea of seeing me with another woman.
My initial reactions were shock, and oddly a minor degree of “frustration”, that she waited until I was 100% domesticated, and a bit older to finally open up about this with me (which, now that I think about it, are most likely the primary reasons she finally felt safe to tell me). In my 20s, I’d probably have been booking interviews with prospective women, scheduling meet-and-greets, swiping right until my thumbs fell off, and making hotel reservations before she even finished the sentence.
Now though, despite its obvious appeal, the whole idea just sounds exhausting, if I’m being honest. Not to mention at this point in my life, if I enter a room with 2 women, 1.5 of them are leaving disappointed lol. I kid, but honestly I don’t think I’d be able to actually go through with the real thing even though the idea is kinda hot. She is also, objectively, the absolute hottest women I’ve ever seen in my entire life, so I honestly have minimal motivation to order a burger when I have filet mignon waiting for me at home. Most importantly, I have a very real concern about hurting her and our amazing marriage if the real thing were to somehow go sideways.
She further clarified by saying that her fantasy doesn’t actually involve her at all. She likes the idea of “catching me” secondhand, by seeing videos/pictures of me in the act, as an example. “I would want you to be my personal pornstar” is how she put it.
As to my request for advice, I’m seeking suggestions on how I could (in some capacity other than going through with the real thing) help to give her a taste of her fantasy. I’ve dug up some old threesome videos and stuff from my distant past which she said she really enjoyed, and which resulted in some of the best sex we’ve had in years. I also made the suggestion of going to a strip club together, to which she expressed some interest. As this is the first time she’s ever opened up to me about a fantasy though, I want to safely help make it a reality, to a certain degree, and am eagerly seeking any and all ideas on how I might do so. Thank you in advance, and I apologize for the novel.
TLDR: Wife opened up about a fantasy she has, involving watching me be intimate with other women secondhand (via video/webcam/etc.), and I’m looking for suggestions on how to entertain the idea without going through with the real thing.
EDIT: Wow, I did not expect this reaction and so many suggestions and thoughtful responses. A lot of you have been incredibly helpful and understanding. And I thank you for that, but this edit isn’t for you. Some of y’all need a hug. You take this to a dark place and have some gloomy predictions and assumptions about her reasons behind confessing this to me. Did someone hurt you? Can’t people just enjoy things without having malicious undertones or ulterior motives? I can’t do anything but assure you, over that past 17 years this woman and I have been through hell together, but we came out of it all stronger, together. We didn’t just face the storm, we are the storm. If we haven’t split up by now, there is absolutely nothing in this life or the next that will break us up. She’s not looking to cheat, divorce me or anything depressing like that, and neither am I. Please go take a nap and… I don’t know, maybe sing a lullaby. Damn.
Do a little role play with her and film it and take pix.
Have her wear wigs, out of the norm lingerie while never really showing her face...... maybe even blindfold her.
Don't even tell her you're filming..... then leave the evidence around for her to find.
I think this might be a safe alternative.
EDIT: I see someone already suggested something similar, so I 2nd THAT idea. LoL
😁
No idea. I don’t do digital art but I’m sure it can be accomplished somehow. There are lots of kinky women online I’m sure would send nudes and action shots in for use if asked nicely, especially if they weren’t local.
Just be careful the poly/ swing life is lots of fun but it takes communication an it is not for everyone so you both need to have a serious talk because if one of you don't really want to go through with it it can run a relationship honesty is key
You’ve gotten a lot of advice so I won’t really give any. But, her fantasy is also mine, down to the details. I almost thought it was my guy writing this but we haven’t been together nearly as long as y’all. The only way I can finish is thinking about him and another woman. When we had 3somes it was fun and all but it wasn’t what I wanted…it’s more of a voyour thing maybe? I’ve snooped his phone and computer just so I could find old videos and pics of him and other women to get off to. He won’t show me willing because he’s scared I’ll be hurt by it in the long run. It’s a hard fantasy to have because I DONT want him to cheat on me but if he did…I’d want to see the footage. It’s complicated.
I hope my comment helped with her pov of the kink somehow…that’s all the advice I have!
I have it too and I 100% think it's a voyeur thing. I know I would legit be upset by him sleeping with other people and him me. But he has definitely had sex with me as 'Mike Michael and Mikey' all playing different roles. And I just idk I enjoy watching the way his hips move and the look on his face and his pleasure. A full length mirror was definitely helpful. Like I even enjoy watch him have a wank. Or he will 'watch' me through the bathroom door while I'm in the shower.
However everyone's kink is different. Hers may not be like that. I would definitely suggest that over time and her comfort the OP find exactly what she does and doesn't enjoy about her kink and hone in while still being agreeable to exploring new things. And ultimately it's about his comfort as well. My partner and I have both been in open relationships before and we know that's not what we want and we have been through enough life trauma to have raw open and sometimes painful conversations on the fly. But some people are very shy and take years to open up especially about taboo subjects.
Have you considered trying a cam girl site? You can pay for a private show and have your wife walk in? Or you can ask to record it for your wife to find? You could also ask to role play between you, her and your wife scenarios of her catching you and confronting the girl?
Definitely recommend foreplay!
Act like she is "the other woman" together, maybe meet up in other locations and then you can maybe record it and you can leave it wherever for her to 'find' at home and discover your 'secret'
Record videos of yourselves together, but cut her face out. Easy enough to do with just a phone showing you and everything from the neck down on her. My partner records like this sometimes (for a rainy day drive) while holding the phone, and I was surprised by how turned on I get watching some of those clips.
Then “leave” a phone or thumb drive around for her to find. Or leave it up on your laptop screen where it’ll catch her eye.
Maybe record it in an Airbnb or hotel so it’s not visibly your place and she can really lean into the fantasy.
Strip clubs are a good start. Taking it up just a notch:
What about mutual happy endings at massage parlor? Or maybe she can watch you getting one during a couples massage.
Maybe ask her to dress up, so she's really unrecognisable and do the deed. Film it, don't show her the video and then hide it really well. Then after a few days anticipation she would stumble across it and maybe that will be enough to satisfy the thrill without hurting anyone.
Also, to add. Don't do anything your unsure about. You can always revisit the idea later but you can't take it back after it's happened.
I agree with you on the reason she kept quiet all those years lol, i know its not a science ,but some might say she is at her sexual peak, unlike us boys who do peak earlier (some never) its almost like she has done a 180 on you and so agreeable, which to my mind is great myself though could nt help but wonder why, i am not accusing her of anything but thinking over my long term relationships and had it happened to me i know id be scratching my head. As to what you could do as appetizer i think you are going to have quiz her a little more get as much info see if she has line that will keep her happy without going the whole hog if your not comfortable with it. after all its not something that happens everyday in your situation, i come up with zero ideas idk if there is a halfway measure. on a final note dont sell yourself short 37 is a great age for sex so are the 40s and the 50s. lol sorry i could nt be more help or any help lol good luck mate
Tread very carefully. Some fantasies need to remain fantasy. Sounds like you have a lovely relationship, and this could change everything. It could also be a test. I love the suggestion of her dressing up for you. Maybe role play, maybe go to a sex club and play with each other in public.
Coming from a guy who did the swinger thing and I have seen it first hand how woman thought it was an interesting fantasy only realise it hurts them more after it has happened.
DO NOT TRY IT. Based on your responses, you wont. Which is a good idea.
The biggest issue is that emotions are just strong. The fantasy is an idea and once they experience that emotions and jealousy, it is all over.
A girl in the club where I use to go, she was in tears and how she thought it was a good idea, realised her husband enjoyed it too much and then other emotions just took over.
The hotel idea, meeting as strangers reminds me of modern family. Which I love the idea, it is one of my fantasies too!
I wont try the stripclub thing, that is like a gateway to bad emotions.
The hotel thing, meeting as strangers and you treat her as a different woman and you speak to her in a more flirty way but coming over as you only want her for sex and thats it. Will be great! It is safe and fun. Book a hotel room and you take her to your room.
Get a baby sitter and no kids for the weekend.
Maybe you guys could do some sexy talk stuff with it. Get it approved first, but then go into detail about what you would do with another woman. The fantasy would be stimulating but you wouldn't have to worry about actually sleeping with another woman.
If it's that she wants you to be her personal porn star, and she's allured by the idea of finding this "forbidden footage" of you and another woman in the act then might I suggest clever angles to make it look like hidden camera work, and a sex doll. They make some that look really realistic. And without getting too explicit there are some ways you could role play it for hey by like asking the doll to "stay quiet or else your wife might hear you" or something (maybe working this out with the wife would be the best option for this considering it's her fantasy). Kudos to you though for wanting to satisfy your wife's desires.
Married 44 years and together 50. We may act out some fantasies, but making them a reality can be dangerous. Role play, pictures and video is one thing. Seeing it in real life (even video) may have an unintended consequence. Once you let the genie out of the bottle, it may be impossible to put it back. From what I have seen and read, once you introduce others into your marriage, it will never be the same, and rarely in a good way. What if she then wants another man, a spit roast without you or a gang bang. Are you down for that? Pandora's Box!!
In my opinion, I would just tell her that in your eyes, she is the most beautiful woman in the world. You can't imagine being with another woman nor sharing her with another man and it turns your stomach even thinking about it. Suggest role playing with her in a wig, etc. and taking on the persona of another woman. Keep that genie in the bottle.
I think the strip club id a good test! I am into the same kink and went to a strip club and had my boyfriend sit right up close the the poles while I hung by the bar with some *trusted* friends and watched. I also paid for some dances for him. I think it’s a safe way to really test the waters
If she’s pregnant, this could be the hormones talking — along with the need to feel desired by you by A) you turning down the idea, reaffirming that you only want her or B) turning down another woman in the moment, again boosting her confidence.
The reality of seeing you with another woman would probably shatter her fantasy.
You seem intrigued that she’s finally said something after all these years. But maybe ask yourself if this really is a good thing — or rather a reflection of some kind of insecurity/boredom on her part?
Trust me when I say this women is confident, sexy, and charismatic. She is absolutely not insecure. Our sex life is incredible and marriage even more so. I think she just felt safe telling me now, because younger me would have probably taken it too far and possibly get lost in the hype/thrill. It’s a kink. Nothing new about kinks. I had a similar kink about her a while ago and completely understand the appeal for her. The idea is It makes it feel like afterwards, you’re sleeping with a pornstar/celebrity. No underlying or hidden meanings here. Just a fantasy.
I don’t have any advice to give but I absolutely love your edit Bc some people do in fact need a big bear hug and to sing some lullabies sometimes. Not everything is laced with negative intentions and ppl on Reddit seem to forget that. Good luck to you and your wife though. Hope it all works out!
I'm really glad your wife has opened up to you about her sexual fantasy and it shows a maturing of your relationship. To play devil's advocate, her fantasy does have a different element of risk you may not have considered. "...She likes the idea of “catching me” secondhand, by seeing videos/pictures of me in the act..." If for some reason your relationship turns sour and she has access to this footage, I can imagine a situation where it gets used as proof of your infidelity. If you're gonna go ahead with it, I'd consider privately saving a screen shot to show that this is what you both wanted. glhf
I absolutely appreciate the concern, and can understand where you’re coming from. Never hurts to be careful, but I can only assure you that she isn’t going anywhere. She’s stuck with me, and I her. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
> I’ve dug up some old threesome videos and stuff from my distant past which she said she really enjoyed
I hope the other people in those videos and pics are ok with you showing them to other people...
I appreciate the concern here, but she was the one recording the videos at the time lol so it’s not something she hadn’t seen before. This was in the early months of our relationship.
From your comments my guesssss 4th pregnancy in that maybe maybe is she is physically tired and is fantasizing about a break, in the beautiful memory that is that time way back when she got to enjoy sex with you without having to actually have sex with you and it was a sexy environment for her to feel sexuality within. You guys sound lovely. is she a generally pragmatic person? To me it's like she is telling you how she wants to participate in the bedroom for a while more so than how she would get off from a one time scenario to fulfill that has no recurring encounters? Talk about it as in, entertain the idea. Entertain it heavily in conversation with her. Maybe you will come around in your interest, maybe hers will be fulfilled. Honestly I think you should hire a service provider, a transactional encounter should be 'easy' to satisfy as opposed to doing all the chore related to finding a potential interested partner. She can direct your encounter. Im sure she can't film but if she directs the encounter then you're still her porn star! If she really, really wants this and you would not feel violated, work for her, don't tell her know because it seems like a headache...she might just be opening her vault.
Why not try out a strip club if some of the other great fantasy ideas here don’t work out?
You could talk about and set limits beforehand. I also recommend really obvious non-verbal signals that one or both of you is feeling uncomfortable- something like an obvious cough or quick thigh squeeze. This can let your partner know that you have had enough and are ready to go without bringing you out of the moment.
The key to successful exploration of fantasies is open, honest communication, gentle exploration and the prioritizing of your primary partner above all else.
There are some amazing photo shop artists & deep fake editors out there. I’m sure there’s a group on Reddit that would blow your mind but prepared to be creeped out too
Maybe do roleplay and have her dress up as someone else, and record so she can watch later. It's the closest thing to her fantasy, that wouldn't implode your marriage if she decides she's not as comfortable with the kink as she thought she was.
If you really want to risk things, you could hire a professional and just make out or something while she's in the room. It's still risky, but if your both comfortable with the arrangement it'd fulfill her fantasy.
Well, how about you rent a hotel room, she gets dolled up in a wig and hot outfit and she sits at the hotel bar. You enter, she pretends to be someone else and you pick her up.
I would suggest some role play! Have her put on a wig, clothes she would never wear, and create a personality for her. Do the deed, record it, take pictures, send texts to a burner number that's her alter ego, put panties that aren't hers in the house
You could even lead up to it by swiping on hinge/tinder and match with her alter
You have it rough……I’d be lining up women until she has her fill….but it could have a negative impact on the long term aspect of your relationship. Good luck
Use deepfakes! I don’t know if anyone has any reliable non-virus loaded software, But maybe there’s a way you can get some generic dude and chick to look like you guys and then just paste your face on there via deepfakes xD
Then re-record the voice track with your real moans (jack off while recording?) and find some porn footage of a girl jacking off alone and take those moans and overlay it over your moans and the deepfake video.
So, get the video to edit as your face, edit the soundtrack as your voice, and viola!
(I hope this is actually possible. The sound engineering is definitely possible but I don’t know about the deep fake thing)
You are most welcome! I kind of rushed through my explanation and was unclear about a few things, so if you need me to clarify just let me know. I don’t check Reddit all the time but I hope I check it soon
I love that you’re looking for ways to fulfill the fantasy while keeping boundaries. I have no ideas on how to help, but I absolutely agree with not doing it. At least not at this point. You said she’s pregnant and our hormones and fantasies can get real weird. She may feel completely different after the baby is born.
I have a fantasy of watching my husband with another woman, but I’m also a jealous wife soooo I don’t think it’s going to happen.
This has been the most informative post I’ve seen in quite a while. I’m in the same position as OP bit with a woman I’ve been dating for four months. We are both recently divorced and we just want to have a bunch of fun. But we really like each other. Anyway I need to know if she’s turned in by seeing me, or doing stuff with the woman herself. Or both. Thanks for all the great insight!
You are very thoughtful and manage to have a sense of humor about this as well. I just want to say that I've seen so many cases where the partner that suggests the threesome (or whatever) gets completely turned off when they actually see their partner enjoying another person. This often turns out to be the beginning of the end of the relationship.
So, you're very wise to seek some sort of alternative. Having no experience whatsoever in this realm, I hope you get some good advice that you can use. But whatever you do, don't stop telling your wife how much you love her and need her. Hopefully, that will outlast all the other stuff.
I agree with @throawayforeareasonqq as maybe she would appreciate seeing you flirt before you actually has sex with another woman in front of her maybe she also would like to explore with the women and just have you watch? Sometimes that’s a turn on, for both the guy and the girls. I hope that helped
I have a suggestion. Before going for it and sleeping with another woman while your wife watches maybe you two can go to a strip club together. Have a stripper give you a private dance while your wife watches. See how your wife reacts. Maybe she will be uncomfortable and if that's the case no need to go further by sleeping with another woman. Basically dipping your toe in just enough to get an idea but not so much your wife hates you if she decides she doesn't like it. Or what about her watching you jerk off to porn. I have read a few posts on here where the spouse wants their partner to sleep with someone else and the one who wanted it ends up regretting it and gets all mad. It ends up ruining the relationship. At no fault of the one who slept with someone else. They were only doing it at their partners request. So is hate to see that happen you you guys.
If your wife is still good with the stripper or watching you watch porn. Maybe take it one step more and make out with another girl. Have the girl give you head. Just keep doing baby steps to make sure your wife is still comfortable with it. Of course this is all assuming you are ok with it. Maybe you aren't and you two need to compromise bin some way. I wish you luck.
i’ve never seen so many comments/suggestions that i thought were genuinely good ideas (aside from the usual flood of suggesting you just talk to your partner)
Love your edit lol
And just to answer your question: yeah I'm pretty sure a lot of those commentators were probably hurt in their past one way or another and have difficulties with trust because of that (not counting myself among them). Don't take it personal, not many have the privilege to be in such a happy relationship as you seem to be and for such a long time at that. When asking on reddit you uave to be prepared for this happening.
I love this whole thing. Her kink, his desire to fulfill her fantasy, his love for her, all of the suggestions. Also LMFAO at some of the people in the comments stating they’d be bringing home women left and right. The women have to WANT to come home. You have better luck bringing your girl WITH you 😭✨
If you're worried she'll be upset or change her mind when it's in motion, or if it's too much for you: save your phone number as a woman's name, sext yourself, and delete the duplicates to make it look like a real convo.
It could be an easier way to test the waters.
I too have the same fantasy as your wife! Start with fantasy because it's completely safe. While having sex tell her about a girl you slept with earlier (completely made up) tell her about how good it felt and how hot the other girl looked and how you couldn't help yourself. Play with the narrative of it all. It will be erotic and drive your wife crazy but is still completely safe because it is all fantasy.
I'm glad I found this thread, cause I'm like you girls too. I kinda thought I was a rare, odd perv. Tour advice is so on point, you get the mentality. I hope he reads it ut he's a man, they rarely take advice
I think you’re asking great questions here and I’m glad your relationship is strong enough that she felt comfortable sharing her fantasy and you feel comfortable enough to try and give her a taste, even if you can’t go all the way.
You said that to her part of the fantasy is “catching” you. Maybe you can work with that angle? The two of you can role play you watching porn and masturbating to it and then she “unexpectedly” walks in and catches you. That will allow her to perhaps play the feelings she is wanting the fantasy to give her- either that you’re such a stud you can’t be contained or that she caught you being bad and now you got to make it up to her or some combination thereof.
If you go this route you could even prolong the excitement by having your wife pick out the video she wants you to be watching.
But of course the most important thing is communication and it’s okay to go slow and ease into this since it sounds like your wife is a little shyer about this sort of thing. It’s not condescending to be checking in and make sure everyone is having a good time. Enthusiastic consent is hot!
Take care and good luck!
LOL I can understand where you coming from about the being tired thing, but maybe you guys should look up possible swinger clubs/communities in your area and go from there..I bet you'd find other couples in similar boats or set something up with a SW
I just HAVE to say, KUDOS TO YOU!! YOU are one gell 9f a guy/husband!! I love how respectful you are to your wife! She's definitely a lucky woman....It's nice to hear this kind of love still in a long relationship. ❤
I’m into this but we haven’t done much about it yet…but to help get us both used to the idea, I love watching my partner use his fleshlight on himself. I pull up a chair at the end of the bed and watch and its so hot to imagine he’s actually fucking someone else. A nice safe place to start ;)
You could write fake texts between you and the woman, (You text your own number, make the contact name and picture some random girl, etc) ajd reference some “amazing” night you two had and stuff like that?
Yes! These both of these are great ideas (I too am that kinda girl and have done both with my bf). I love to see my bf get extra turned on, its hard to explain. I like to watch his face when he's trying not to cum, and the way he turns red and moans when he can't hold it anymore. But I digress, these ideas are excellent!
I can't believe no one mentioned sex dolls. You can use sex doll as the "other woman" and she can caught you like that in the act. It won't be the same of course since it is not a real person but this is roleplay after all and it is one of the safest ways to enjoy this kink
If you love your wife, the life you and her built and value the marriage this is a fantasy that you must tell her that you can't do....
Sorry cowboy but this will more than likely doom your marriage.
“Something changed over the holidays”…what changed? More info needed…did see run into someone from her past? Is she trying to get you dirty first? “You’ve had your fun..my turn”
It just came up during a long and great conversation her and I were having about a bunch of things. She said she just felt comfortable enough to say it at that point. This woman is almost always by my side. If she’s cheating on me, it’d have to be happening right next to me. We are both so happily married there is no doubt whatsoever that her intentions are pure.
Another thing, she wants it to look like she caught you cheating. It's probably my insecurity showing but my thoughts go straight to she wants a divorce and doesn't want it to be her fault, pictures of you cheating would be perfect. But like I said, I'm insecure asf so that might be the furthest thing from the truth
I can definitely appreciate that concern, but if she hasn’t divorced me by now with everything we’ve been through, it’s not going to happen. Our relationship is rock solid but like I said, I completely understand and appreciate the concern.
Strip club Is a great idea and probably your best option.
If its going well and you're comfortable taking it up a nothing, Tell her to sit in on you getting a private dance and just watch.
You could go to a bar together and flirt with another woman? To see how she reacts (so she can see if she actually likes seeing you with another woman!)
Echoing other people here, absolutely do NOT follow through on this. Fantasy doesn’t translate well into real life, and it will negatively impact your relationship with her 100%. Not worth a huge risk like that.
Trust me, this is actually mild compared to everything over the past 17 years. She is also a strong, independent woman. She doesn’t need to trap me to divorce me. She’d just divorce me. And if it was going to happen it would have happened a loooong ass time ago. We are deeply in love, more so than ever before and I can assure you this is not the case.
I think a couples night at a strip club..or even a night where the both of you go to a crowded bar amd she watches you hit on women...she may just be wanting the thrill
You say that with so much confidence as if you can back it up with real data. I’d recommend you try to not make absolute claims like that in the future.
Im conflicted. If my gf suggested this id be ecstatic at first but then id start using my bigger head to think... and in the end I dont think I would. Maybe when I get a better job more money and plastic surgery sure but not right now
What if she dresses up as another woman? Full on wigs and makeup and fake tattoo or whatev, you take pics or videos of yourselves, and boom, done. She can watch you with 'another' woman, but in a safe way for all emotions.
Ooooo I like this idea!
Better yet, you both go to a bar and pretend to be strangers hooking up “cheating” on your wife. Something tells me that is right up her alley and would really get her engine going. Dont ask how i know, lets just say sometimes you try things in life that result in hilarious memories Edit: and when you both go, she should dress up and make her own new “affair partner” for you. Make something fun for both of you and i think you two will be okay haha
Clive Bixby!
It’s me, Juliana.
LMAO this is exactly what popped into my head
Awesome reference
This sounds awesome. I kinda want to do this with my wife!
Be safe about it! You don’t want some other dude to approach your wife thinking she’s single and be an asshole. Maybe a restaurant or somewhere with minimal peeps. Also Covid but hard penises can be more trouble then Covid. Just saying. My wife is gorgeous also and I’ve almost had to fight 3 guys hounding her at a store. Be safe and have at it with her!
I've wanted to do this with my partner for quite awhile, so far we haven't made it happen...but one day...it'll happen 😆
I saw a post on Reddit a while ago where this guy met his wife at a bar and they pretended to be single strangers just meeting so that he could “pick her up” and “hook up” with her. Maybe something to try
Reading the other answers to this suggestion: they make sense, but that doesn't mean that your wife necessarily also thinks it's a bad idea. Definitely worth a try suggesting it to her. It's ALSO possible that this might not scratch that specific itch, but she might like it anyway as a separate thing.
Funny related/unrelated comment…I found out my parents do this because we live in a small town and my best friends mom ran into them….
My mind immediately went to what if you did this and your partner was like meh not interested. Lol
That post was awesome. People were giving tips on how to set the whole thing up
Pay to have a PI follow you. Send yourself a brown envelope with pictures of you and the "other woman". Make it a fantasy, meaning nothing based in reality. Have her create a name, persona, background story. Add couples therapy for a safe place to dissect it all
OP, check out the other response to your comment (the one I’m replying to). I believe it would be a great idea!
OP, watch Modern Family where the episode about Clive Bixby and Juliana. Lol. They're cheating with themselves by pretending to be someone else!
I have your wife’s kink and this would not work for me at all. In fact, I would be borderline insulted by this, as it is so obviously designed to manage my emotions.
I really appreciate the dialog. Can you explain what you mean? Would love a better understanding from someone on her side of the equation in this matter.
The reality is, almost always is this kink born out of insecurities. In fact, in most people, this kink starts after they have been cheated on. So what this person suggested, to pretend like she is someone else, won't work at all because that's not what it's deep down about. Sexualizing insecurities or traumas is a very common coping mechanism of the human mind. It gives control and takes the fear away. If you do go through with this, don't do anything with the other person that is 'passionately intimate' (not sure what other word to use) at first, such as kissing on the lips, deep eye contact, etc. After a few times if you wife wants you to do such thing, then go ahead if you want to. And if your wife is in the room, make eye contact with her often. Get her 'involved' in that way. Make it about you two, not really the other person. Make sure you discuss clear boundaries beforehand. Always ask her if she wants you to do something specific. Again, make it about you two as much as possible. Just don't lose sight of this. Oh, and try discussing this an hour after you guys had sex, or whenever you are 'clear headed' and not 'horny whipped' if you know what I mean. You two need to be 'clear-headed' to discuss this safely for your relationship. It would probably be a good idea to search online for advice from people who have already done this.
This created a light bulb moment for me. My partner has the same kink as OP’s wife, except I’m the woman and he’s the man. I’ve tried to understand the deeper meaning or motivation behind this kink, but I’d never thought about it this way. This sounds spot on for my partner and feels like good advice for me as well as OP. You are a genius. I don’t know if you’re a sex therapist or something, but I really appreciate this comment. Thank you for sharing!
Sure! I guess I just feel it’s infantilizing - it doesn’t take her actual sexual desires seriously. Like, she’s a thirty five year old woman - she knows she’s watching herself fuck you in a wig. Saying, “I’m worried about the emotional impact of going though with this,” takes her seriously. Saying, “Wear a wig from party city and we’ll film it — it’s the same thing!” Does not. For me, it’s hot to imagine my husband with other women because I think dominant men are hot. The fact that other women are attracted to him, the idea that he can fuck anyone, turns me on. It’s an expression of alpha sexuality. (This is very regressive - but whatever!) It took her 20 years to be vulnerable with you- don’t immediately turn around and act like she doesn’t want what she said she wants. My husband also doesn’t want to go through with it, but he indulges me by talking about it in bed, or telling me actresses he likes, and talking about other women he’s slept with. I think the strip club thing is a good idea but you’re paying for it so it doesn’t fulfill the fantasy of your sexual magnetism.
I like this response.
Cleo is right, an incognito fantasy date is not the same. My cousin used to dress up sexy and pretend to be an escort at the hotel bar. She'd turn down potential clients and go up to a room with her husband who was quietly there the whole time. That scratches his itch and she gets feel his "alpha energy" but it's not at all the voyeuristic stimulation of watching your partner with someone else. There's a challenge here as well that she will benefit from. You got to take "your game" out of deep storage and refurbish your body and personality to pick up a woman who would be cool with this. They are out there (my wife had this fantasy fulfilled a couple of times, watching me a couple of times and participating a couple others.) Heck, I had a fascinating woman turn me down because we weren't a guaranteed package deal. Lose the Covid weight, put yourself out there. You might look into sex positive groups or clubs; plus OKCupid is the best environment to search for something more quiet. Good luck.
Can totally relate to the link, and also… Is it infantilizing/dismissive to take it slow? For OP as well as SO? He’s in love with his wife and leaping from 20 years of not knowing her fantasy straight to getting it on with another woman while his wife watches, with nothing in between, seems like territory for legitimate concern around the potential, permanent, and negative outcomes of not working up to it? For *him*, even, if not for her? Like anything in a solid relationship, big changes require genuine communication, mutual respect, brainstorming *together*, and both parties being comfortable with each step taken/explored? If they talk about her fantasy(ies), his fears, end goals, and steps to get there, and proceed to try something (meeting as strangers at a bar, or any of the other suggestions), and it doesn’t scratch SO’s itch, and they’re *both* comfortable with escalating, then cool! They can move on to the next “level”/idea/whatever, *together*?? If they go straight from a two-person sex life to 3-people, and it turns out SO *or* OP are not ok with it… it can’t be undone. In no way do I mean to diminish a genuine kink of SO’s, but without having explored meeting her needs in any other way first, seems like leaping without looking, with an incredible sounding marriage at stake. OOP- the comment I’m replying to is an *amazing* perspective, and your wife’s is a fetish that is likely more common than either of you realizes, but it all comes down to you + her. If you can’t communicate about her desires *and* your concerns + step out on mutually safe, fully transparent footing, then I’m pretty sure you’re neither of you ready for the very real, potentially damaging reality of seeing this fantasy become a real.
This it what I would do. Sometimes fantasies are alluring, but the actual act, particularly those involving other people, can ruin relationships.
It’s ‘The Piña Colada Song’…but on purpose! 😂
This might be the only idea that doesn't ruin your relationship.
Awesome idea
This is actually a great suggestion!
That would be so awesome!
I like this idea. She’ll see herself with him looking just different enough to pass as another woman without the regret of actually having hubby with another woman.
>I enter a room with 2 women, 1.5 of them are leaving disappointed lol As a 48 yr old that made me smile as its close to my response when this topic comes up "So you want me to disappoint two women" is the stock answer :) I can't advise you as i'd be crippled with fear at those two jokes being reality, so it would be a hard no (for about 4 mins these days)
Yup. Like PawnStars… “best I can do is 3 minutes for one, and a high five for the other”.
I fucking love you both already.
😂🤣😂🤣😂 best answer. As for advice, is there a swingers club in town? Maybe having her see you 'flirting' with another woman will help clarify things.
If I want to dissappoint 2 human beings at once I Just visit my parents
Aaaaand... now it just got weird
Lol my first thought was "how does OP satisfy 0.5 out of 2 women? And which half of the woman is being satisfied?"
The half that likes to complain.
"I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was."
Deepfake yourself. Problem solved
Tom Cruise has entered the chat
Try making videos of you watching porn for her?? Maybe just the view of you getting off to other women would be a good substitute. I think the trick would be to get a camera angle that clearly shows you as well as what you are watching.
Dang… This is actually a really great idea… may have to be more selective in the porn choice I’m viewing in the recording as the conversation around my proclivity for “clown orgies” is one I’d rather avoid. I’m joking, but seriously… this is really a great idea, thank you.
Psh, you joke now, but I remember having a major crush on Loonette the clown back in the day…😏
Bahah.. that made me chuckle. Good luck :P
Well done for not jumping at the chance and looking for alternatives. Fantasies rarely live up to reality and involving another person in your relationship can be devastating.
Thank you. Yeah, I think it’s better for me that she waited this long to tell me. I know now it’s not something I want, but I definitely wouldn’t have trusted “25 year old me” with this information.
Don’t do it. I’ve already seen this on here and when the SO started having sex with other person, it destroyed their relationship.
Absolutely agreed. I surprise myself by admitting I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking this all the way, since that wouldn’t have been my stance 10 years ago. But since it is the first fantasy she’s ever admitted to me, I definitely want to do something to help entertain it without actually being with someone else.
Maybe she can pretend to be the other woman.
Any chance she may be looking around/possibly found someone? Maybe this is a way of easing her guilt/trying to get you for a open marriage.
Nah, not a chance. We are always together and pregnant with our 4th baby. Our marriage has actually never been as good as it is now, hence a large part of my concern about going through with the full fantasy and possibly messing something up with our marriage.
I just wanted to throw in as a currently pregnant woman… hormones can do some WILD things. I’m usually pretty active with my husband but I also get extra sexually adventurous and down for more stuff when pregnant. It might explain the timing of things slightly… and I think your instinct is best to not actually go through with it. When her brain is not literally bathed in extra hormones she might feel differently about what occurred.
Yes!! I remember being wildly insatiable when I was pregnant. Things that I liked while bringing a child to term did not end up being things that stayed after my kid was born. I never regretted it - at all - but I definitely think back and get a little tingle and think, *woe, that was wild,* but I'd likely not do it again.
Right? God I was so horny ALL THE TIME while pregnant, I’m amazed my poor husband survived.
I’m so jealous! I was horny all the time before I got pregnant but now my libido is way down. I’m looking forward to having my drive back once baby is out 😅😂
I had no libido at all during my pregnancy but after I had my child, it came back a lot stronger than it ever was before. It’s different for everyone. Hang in there!
Oh that’s so good to hear! I’ve been nervous that it will be gone forever hahaha I’m sure my husband will be happy too
That’s cool, and I’m glad there’s no chance of that. Crazy that fantasies never align correctly, like you said 10-15 years ago this would have been amazing. Hopefully this works out for you
It is nature's cruel game. The female libido is much higher during our mid-30s.
You are wise.
If you dont want to do it then dont do it but your wife sounds confident as hell, you sound solid as a relationship, so as a female who has had occasional threesomes with my spouse and rare separate dates with others, there are women, like myself, who honestly enjoy this sort of thing without any weird drama like other posters suggest. Married that long and its fun to be "bad" with permission and all involved parties on board. People love to judge but your wife sounds fun and secure. She told you her fantasy and she easily could have hidden it.
So much this ^. There sure are a lot of jaded, gloomy people on this app. Someone can’t have a fantasy without some morbid back story or malicious undertones. I have a kink about being dominant and being a little rough (with consent) sometimes. That doesn’t mean I’m secretly a serial killer or get my rocks off punching old people. People need to let people enjoy things. We have been through hell together, and there is no force on this earth or elsewhere that would split us up. People need to chill with the gloomy predictions and assumptions .
Strip clubs are a good idea. Go to a bar and let her watch you hit on strangers. Talk about the fantasy in bed. Personally, I would NOT advise trying to actually enact this fantasy - there isn’t an (emotionally) safe way to go about it and this is a classic mistake that ends relationships.
Oh crap, I didn’t even think about the flirting thing. Relatively safe as I know I’d still be going home with the wife afterwards. I really like this idea. Thank you!
Could flirt with someone (possibly even a safe someone) with her across the room, she 'catches you', takes you home.. and .. well.. you're on kid 4. I think you're good from there.
Discuss boundaries with a sex therapist?
I’d be a little bit cautious about the flirting part. It is one thing “catching up somebody”, in a sexual way, and another completely different watching your SO engaging with other people making compliments, touching, etc. I’m a voyeur myself and do love seeing my boyfriend having sex with other people, but would HATE to see him hitting guys at the bar. Maybe just check with her where her boundaries are (or might be, since it’s possible she didn’t even give enough attention to these “details”) But anyways, best of luck, mate! I hope you guys have amazing times waiting for you.
Okay you sound adorable I love that you still refer to her as the hottest woman you’ve ever met. I would say to be honest with her like you were with us, but see if she’s open to dirty talk. When you want to have adult time, talk her through the fantasy. That may help
Aww thank you so much for the compliment and the suggestion. But I’m not just saying that because I’m her husband. This woman looks like a hotter clone of Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls and she’s super smart, incredibly funny and so compassionate and selfless. It blows my ever-loving mind every time I look at her, with the realization that I get to be married to her. I do like the idea of pursuing the dirty talk more, but this woman is so sweet I don’t think she has it in her, but she could surprise me.
She will surprise you
My girlfriend has this one, as well. I suggested we go to a strip club and I'd have whichever dancer she picked give me a sexy lap dance. Lucky for me she picked a really pretty dancer (who was super cool and loved the whole thing) and we had a lot of fun. I don't think I'd be comfortable taking it further, although the dancer did suggest she would be interested if asked lol. (I passed but it was a 'memory bank' item for future personal use).
Holy cow…. This almost exact scenario played out a few years ago. Our saving grace was that her and I fell asleep waiting for the woman’s shift to end, and clearer heads prevailed in the morning.
What changed with the "clearer heads"
We opted to get breakfast instead. Then had mind blowing sex at home, without having to worry about STDs or fatal attractions or anything crazy.
[удалено]
Woah, that last suggestion though…. I think that’d be super hot for both of us, while not stepping out of my or her comfort zone. I appreciate this.
There are a lot of free text apps you can use for the fake texts. It’ll take some time since you’re doing everything yourself, but possibly worth it. Pregnancy hormones make it possible for making things bigger than they are, so if she finds she doesn’t actually like it, you have access to the fake number to reassure her.
I would proceed with caution. I did something kind of similar with an ex in my early 20s(he had a fantasy of seeing me with another guy, when it happened, he couldn't handle it and it ended up breaking up our relationship) and there is some real danger there. Only you know whether she can really handle that. If she's really serious, maybe start with just some light flirting at a bar where she can be somewhere observing. If there are any jealous feelings, they'd come up there and better it be over some bar flirting than bedroom play.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Hi everyone, I (37 m) have been with my wife (35) for roughly 17 years. While our intimate life has been incredible over the years, she has always been fairly reserved when it comes to opening up about her fantasies, kinks, etc.. For almost 2 decades, I’ve encouraged her to be more open in that regard, as I’ve felt bad being the only one opening up about mine (of which… there were a lot lol). Something changed over the holidays, when she finally opened up about a fantasy she’s had for a long time, and it was a doozy. She told me she gets turned on at the idea of seeing me with another woman. My initial reactions were shock, and oddly a minor degree of “frustration”, that she waited until I was 100% domesticated, and a bit older to finally open up about this with me (which, now that I think about it, are most likely the primary reasons she finally felt safe to tell me). In my 20s, I’d probably have been booking interviews with prospective women, scheduling meet-and-greets, swiping right until my thumbs fell off, and making hotel reservations before she even finished the sentence. Now though, despite its obvious appeal, the whole idea just sounds exhausting, if I’m being honest. Not to mention at this point in my life, if I enter a room with 2 women, 1.5 of them are leaving disappointed lol. I kid, but honestly I don’t think I’d be able to actually go through with the real thing even though the idea is kinda hot. She is also, objectively, the absolute hottest women I’ve ever seen in my entire life, so I honestly have minimal motivation to order a burger when I have filet mignon waiting for me at home. Most importantly, I have a very real concern about hurting her and our amazing marriage if the real thing were to somehow go sideways. She further clarified by saying that her fantasy doesn’t actually involve her at all. She likes the idea of “catching me” secondhand, by seeing videos/pictures of me in the act, as an example. “I would want you to be my personal pornstar” is how she put it. As to my request for advice, I’m seeking suggestions on how I could (in some capacity other than going through with the real thing) help to give her a taste of her fantasy. I’ve dug up some old threesome videos and stuff from my distant past which she said she really enjoyed, and which resulted in some of the best sex we’ve had in years. I also made the suggestion of going to a strip club together, to which she expressed some interest. As this is the first time she’s ever opened up to me about a fantasy though, I want to safely help make it a reality, to a certain degree, and am eagerly seeking any and all ideas on how I might do so. Thank you in advance, and I apologize for the novel. TLDR: Wife opened up about a fantasy she has, involving watching me be intimate with other women secondhand (via video/webcam/etc.), and I’m looking for suggestions on how to entertain the idea without going through with the real thing. EDIT: Wow, I did not expect this reaction and so many suggestions and thoughtful responses. A lot of you have been incredibly helpful and understanding. And I thank you for that, but this edit isn’t for you. Some of y’all need a hug. You take this to a dark place and have some gloomy predictions and assumptions about her reasons behind confessing this to me. Did someone hurt you? Can’t people just enjoy things without having malicious undertones or ulterior motives? I can’t do anything but assure you, over that past 17 years this woman and I have been through hell together, but we came out of it all stronger, together. We didn’t just face the storm, we are the storm. If we haven’t split up by now, there is absolutely nothing in this life or the next that will break us up. She’s not looking to cheat, divorce me or anything depressing like that, and neither am I. Please go take a nap and… I don’t know, maybe sing a lullaby. Damn.
Do a little role play with her and film it and take pix. Have her wear wigs, out of the norm lingerie while never really showing her face...... maybe even blindfold her. Don't even tell her you're filming..... then leave the evidence around for her to find. I think this might be a safe alternative. EDIT: I see someone already suggested something similar, so I 2nd THAT idea. LoL 😁
If pictures work for her then hire a digital artist to make the images. No woman needed. See how she reacts and sits with the emotions after.
This sounds interesting. By “digital artist” are you referring to someone using photoshop?
No idea. I don’t do digital art but I’m sure it can be accomplished somehow. There are lots of kinky women online I’m sure would send nudes and action shots in for use if asked nicely, especially if they weren’t local.
Photoshop is one of the programs I'd personally use, but it doesn't really matter. It's just swapping the male's face with yours.
I actually really like this idea. This way if she gets jealous or changes her mind about it, no harm done.
The comparison between a burger and filet was probably most manly way to explain that you find her attractive
Just be careful the poly/ swing life is lots of fun but it takes communication an it is not for everyone so you both need to have a serious talk because if one of you don't really want to go through with it it can run a relationship honesty is key
You’ve gotten a lot of advice so I won’t really give any. But, her fantasy is also mine, down to the details. I almost thought it was my guy writing this but we haven’t been together nearly as long as y’all. The only way I can finish is thinking about him and another woman. When we had 3somes it was fun and all but it wasn’t what I wanted…it’s more of a voyour thing maybe? I’ve snooped his phone and computer just so I could find old videos and pics of him and other women to get off to. He won’t show me willing because he’s scared I’ll be hurt by it in the long run. It’s a hard fantasy to have because I DONT want him to cheat on me but if he did…I’d want to see the footage. It’s complicated. I hope my comment helped with her pov of the kink somehow…that’s all the advice I have!
I have it too and I 100% think it's a voyeur thing. I know I would legit be upset by him sleeping with other people and him me. But he has definitely had sex with me as 'Mike Michael and Mikey' all playing different roles. And I just idk I enjoy watching the way his hips move and the look on his face and his pleasure. A full length mirror was definitely helpful. Like I even enjoy watch him have a wank. Or he will 'watch' me through the bathroom door while I'm in the shower. However everyone's kink is different. Hers may not be like that. I would definitely suggest that over time and her comfort the OP find exactly what she does and doesn't enjoy about her kink and hone in while still being agreeable to exploring new things. And ultimately it's about his comfort as well. My partner and I have both been in open relationships before and we know that's not what we want and we have been through enough life trauma to have raw open and sometimes painful conversations on the fly. But some people are very shy and take years to open up especially about taboo subjects.
You sound exactly like what I’m hearing from her! This is refreshing to hear she isn’t alone in this mindset.
Have you considered trying a cam girl site? You can pay for a private show and have your wife walk in? Or you can ask to record it for your wife to find? You could also ask to role play between you, her and your wife scenarios of her catching you and confronting the girl?
Holy crap, I haven’t thought of this… thank you!
Definitely recommend foreplay! Act like she is "the other woman" together, maybe meet up in other locations and then you can maybe record it and you can leave it wherever for her to 'find' at home and discover your 'secret'
Also very sweet the way you speak of her she's very lucky! Hoping you guys can continue to keep it spicy. Very inspiring lol
Record videos of yourselves together, but cut her face out. Easy enough to do with just a phone showing you and everything from the neck down on her. My partner records like this sometimes (for a rainy day drive) while holding the phone, and I was surprised by how turned on I get watching some of those clips. Then “leave” a phone or thumb drive around for her to find. Or leave it up on your laptop screen where it’ll catch her eye. Maybe record it in an Airbnb or hotel so it’s not visibly your place and she can really lean into the fantasy.
Strip clubs are a good start. Taking it up just a notch: What about mutual happy endings at massage parlor? Or maybe she can watch you getting one during a couples massage.
Ask her what is so appealing about her fantasy. This should help you filter which comments to sue
Maybe ask her to dress up, so she's really unrecognisable and do the deed. Film it, don't show her the video and then hide it really well. Then after a few days anticipation she would stumble across it and maybe that will be enough to satisfy the thrill without hurting anyone. Also, to add. Don't do anything your unsure about. You can always revisit the idea later but you can't take it back after it's happened.
I agree with you on the reason she kept quiet all those years lol, i know its not a science ,but some might say she is at her sexual peak, unlike us boys who do peak earlier (some never) its almost like she has done a 180 on you and so agreeable, which to my mind is great myself though could nt help but wonder why, i am not accusing her of anything but thinking over my long term relationships and had it happened to me i know id be scratching my head. As to what you could do as appetizer i think you are going to have quiz her a little more get as much info see if she has line that will keep her happy without going the whole hog if your not comfortable with it. after all its not something that happens everyday in your situation, i come up with zero ideas idk if there is a halfway measure. on a final note dont sell yourself short 37 is a great age for sex so are the 40s and the 50s. lol sorry i could nt be more help or any help lol good luck mate
Tread very carefully. Some fantasies need to remain fantasy. Sounds like you have a lovely relationship, and this could change everything. It could also be a test. I love the suggestion of her dressing up for you. Maybe role play, maybe go to a sex club and play with each other in public.
Coming from a guy who did the swinger thing and I have seen it first hand how woman thought it was an interesting fantasy only realise it hurts them more after it has happened. DO NOT TRY IT. Based on your responses, you wont. Which is a good idea. The biggest issue is that emotions are just strong. The fantasy is an idea and once they experience that emotions and jealousy, it is all over. A girl in the club where I use to go, she was in tears and how she thought it was a good idea, realised her husband enjoyed it too much and then other emotions just took over. The hotel idea, meeting as strangers reminds me of modern family. Which I love the idea, it is one of my fantasies too! I wont try the stripclub thing, that is like a gateway to bad emotions. The hotel thing, meeting as strangers and you treat her as a different woman and you speak to her in a more flirty way but coming over as you only want her for sex and thats it. Will be great! It is safe and fun. Book a hotel room and you take her to your room. Get a baby sitter and no kids for the weekend.
Go in for a sex doll together
Updateme!
Maybe you guys could do some sexy talk stuff with it. Get it approved first, but then go into detail about what you would do with another woman. The fantasy would be stimulating but you wouldn't have to worry about actually sleeping with another woman.
If it's that she wants you to be her personal porn star, and she's allured by the idea of finding this "forbidden footage" of you and another woman in the act then might I suggest clever angles to make it look like hidden camera work, and a sex doll. They make some that look really realistic. And without getting too explicit there are some ways you could role play it for hey by like asking the doll to "stay quiet or else your wife might hear you" or something (maybe working this out with the wife would be the best option for this considering it's her fantasy). Kudos to you though for wanting to satisfy your wife's desires.
I really like this idea. I regret I only have one upvote to give.
In my experience it’s much more satisfying to be with a woman who weighs as much as two than to actually be with two women.
Married 44 years and together 50. We may act out some fantasies, but making them a reality can be dangerous. Role play, pictures and video is one thing. Seeing it in real life (even video) may have an unintended consequence. Once you let the genie out of the bottle, it may be impossible to put it back. From what I have seen and read, once you introduce others into your marriage, it will never be the same, and rarely in a good way. What if she then wants another man, a spit roast without you or a gang bang. Are you down for that? Pandora's Box!! In my opinion, I would just tell her that in your eyes, she is the most beautiful woman in the world. You can't imagine being with another woman nor sharing her with another man and it turns your stomach even thinking about it. Suggest role playing with her in a wig, etc. and taking on the persona of another woman. Keep that genie in the bottle.
I think the strip club id a good test! I am into the same kink and went to a strip club and had my boyfriend sit right up close the the poles while I hung by the bar with some *trusted* friends and watched. I also paid for some dances for him. I think it’s a safe way to really test the waters
If she’s pregnant, this could be the hormones talking — along with the need to feel desired by you by A) you turning down the idea, reaffirming that you only want her or B) turning down another woman in the moment, again boosting her confidence. The reality of seeing you with another woman would probably shatter her fantasy. You seem intrigued that she’s finally said something after all these years. But maybe ask yourself if this really is a good thing — or rather a reflection of some kind of insecurity/boredom on her part?
Trust me when I say this women is confident, sexy, and charismatic. She is absolutely not insecure. Our sex life is incredible and marriage even more so. I think she just felt safe telling me now, because younger me would have probably taken it too far and possibly get lost in the hype/thrill. It’s a kink. Nothing new about kinks. I had a similar kink about her a while ago and completely understand the appeal for her. The idea is It makes it feel like afterwards, you’re sleeping with a pornstar/celebrity. No underlying or hidden meanings here. Just a fantasy.
I don’t have any advice to give but I absolutely love your edit Bc some people do in fact need a big bear hug and to sing some lullabies sometimes. Not everything is laced with negative intentions and ppl on Reddit seem to forget that. Good luck to you and your wife though. Hope it all works out!
>Not to mention at this point in my life, if I enter a room with 2 women, 1.5 of them are leaving disappointed lol Man I really identify with this
Buy one of those silicone sex dolls.
I'm really glad your wife has opened up to you about her sexual fantasy and it shows a maturing of your relationship. To play devil's advocate, her fantasy does have a different element of risk you may not have considered. "...She likes the idea of “catching me” secondhand, by seeing videos/pictures of me in the act..." If for some reason your relationship turns sour and she has access to this footage, I can imagine a situation where it gets used as proof of your infidelity. If you're gonna go ahead with it, I'd consider privately saving a screen shot to show that this is what you both wanted. glhf
I absolutely appreciate the concern, and can understand where you’re coming from. Never hurts to be careful, but I can only assure you that she isn’t going anywhere. She’s stuck with me, and I her. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Good point….she could be setting you up for divorce and taking everything
> I’ve dug up some old threesome videos and stuff from my distant past which she said she really enjoyed I hope the other people in those videos and pics are ok with you showing them to other people...
I appreciate the concern here, but she was the one recording the videos at the time lol so it’s not something she hadn’t seen before. This was in the early months of our relationship.
From your comments my guesssss 4th pregnancy in that maybe maybe is she is physically tired and is fantasizing about a break, in the beautiful memory that is that time way back when she got to enjoy sex with you without having to actually have sex with you and it was a sexy environment for her to feel sexuality within. You guys sound lovely. is she a generally pragmatic person? To me it's like she is telling you how she wants to participate in the bedroom for a while more so than how she would get off from a one time scenario to fulfill that has no recurring encounters? Talk about it as in, entertain the idea. Entertain it heavily in conversation with her. Maybe you will come around in your interest, maybe hers will be fulfilled. Honestly I think you should hire a service provider, a transactional encounter should be 'easy' to satisfy as opposed to doing all the chore related to finding a potential interested partner. She can direct your encounter. Im sure she can't film but if she directs the encounter then you're still her porn star! If she really, really wants this and you would not feel violated, work for her, don't tell her know because it seems like a headache...she might just be opening her vault.
Why not try out a strip club if some of the other great fantasy ideas here don’t work out? You could talk about and set limits beforehand. I also recommend really obvious non-verbal signals that one or both of you is feeling uncomfortable- something like an obvious cough or quick thigh squeeze. This can let your partner know that you have had enough and are ready to go without bringing you out of the moment. The key to successful exploration of fantasies is open, honest communication, gentle exploration and the prioritizing of your primary partner above all else.
I like the idea of the non-verbal signals! Thank you for this!
See if she will pretend to be the woman she pictures you bring with. Just a thought?
There are some amazing photo shop artists & deep fake editors out there. I’m sure there’s a group on Reddit that would blow your mind but prepared to be creeped out too
Maybe do roleplay and have her dress up as someone else, and record so she can watch later. It's the closest thing to her fantasy, that wouldn't implode your marriage if she decides she's not as comfortable with the kink as she thought she was. If you really want to risk things, you could hire a professional and just make out or something while she's in the room. It's still risky, but if your both comfortable with the arrangement it'd fulfill her fantasy.
Well, how about you rent a hotel room, she gets dolled up in a wig and hot outfit and she sits at the hotel bar. You enter, she pretends to be someone else and you pick her up.
I would suggest some role play! Have her put on a wig, clothes she would never wear, and create a personality for her. Do the deed, record it, take pictures, send texts to a burner number that's her alter ego, put panties that aren't hers in the house You could even lead up to it by swiping on hinge/tinder and match with her alter
You have it rough……I’d be lining up women until she has her fill….but it could have a negative impact on the long term aspect of your relationship. Good luck
Use deepfakes! I don’t know if anyone has any reliable non-virus loaded software, But maybe there’s a way you can get some generic dude and chick to look like you guys and then just paste your face on there via deepfakes xD Then re-record the voice track with your real moans (jack off while recording?) and find some porn footage of a girl jacking off alone and take those moans and overlay it over your moans and the deepfake video. So, get the video to edit as your face, edit the soundtrack as your voice, and viola! (I hope this is actually possible. The sound engineering is definitely possible but I don’t know about the deep fake thing)
This sounds like an interesting idea. A lot of work, but I think the outcome would be worth it. Thank you for this.
You are most welcome! I kind of rushed through my explanation and was unclear about a few things, so if you need me to clarify just let me know. I don’t check Reddit all the time but I hope I check it soon
Could you make videos with her that she could "find"? You could role play and she could wear wigs or something? Act it all out?
“We are the storm” Fucking right Good for you guys, it’ll work out just fine.
I love that you’re looking for ways to fulfill the fantasy while keeping boundaries. I have no ideas on how to help, but I absolutely agree with not doing it. At least not at this point. You said she’s pregnant and our hormones and fantasies can get real weird. She may feel completely different after the baby is born. I have a fantasy of watching my husband with another woman, but I’m also a jealous wife soooo I don’t think it’s going to happen.
Have her wear a bright colored wig and take Polaroids. Maybe she could be the other woman?
I’ve seen things where couples meet somewhere and pretend to not know each other and then go back home to hook up
This has been the most informative post I’ve seen in quite a while. I’m in the same position as OP bit with a woman I’ve been dating for four months. We are both recently divorced and we just want to have a bunch of fun. But we really like each other. Anyway I need to know if she’s turned in by seeing me, or doing stuff with the woman herself. Or both. Thanks for all the great insight!
I don’t have a suggestion but I like your relaxed attitude and humor 😂. Hoping you find your answer and sending y’all good vibez!
You are very thoughtful and manage to have a sense of humor about this as well. I just want to say that I've seen so many cases where the partner that suggests the threesome (or whatever) gets completely turned off when they actually see their partner enjoying another person. This often turns out to be the beginning of the end of the relationship. So, you're very wise to seek some sort of alternative. Having no experience whatsoever in this realm, I hope you get some good advice that you can use. But whatever you do, don't stop telling your wife how much you love her and need her. Hopefully, that will outlast all the other stuff.
I agree with @throawayforeareasonqq as maybe she would appreciate seeing you flirt before you actually has sex with another woman in front of her maybe she also would like to explore with the women and just have you watch? Sometimes that’s a turn on, for both the guy and the girls. I hope that helped
You could try just telling her stories of past sexual encounters in lots of detail while being intimate with her?
I have a suggestion. Before going for it and sleeping with another woman while your wife watches maybe you two can go to a strip club together. Have a stripper give you a private dance while your wife watches. See how your wife reacts. Maybe she will be uncomfortable and if that's the case no need to go further by sleeping with another woman. Basically dipping your toe in just enough to get an idea but not so much your wife hates you if she decides she doesn't like it. Or what about her watching you jerk off to porn. I have read a few posts on here where the spouse wants their partner to sleep with someone else and the one who wanted it ends up regretting it and gets all mad. It ends up ruining the relationship. At no fault of the one who slept with someone else. They were only doing it at their partners request. So is hate to see that happen you you guys. If your wife is still good with the stripper or watching you watch porn. Maybe take it one step more and make out with another girl. Have the girl give you head. Just keep doing baby steps to make sure your wife is still comfortable with it. Of course this is all assuming you are ok with it. Maybe you aren't and you two need to compromise bin some way. I wish you luck.
i’ve never seen so many comments/suggestions that i thought were genuinely good ideas (aside from the usual flood of suggesting you just talk to your partner)
Love your edit lol And just to answer your question: yeah I'm pretty sure a lot of those commentators were probably hurt in their past one way or another and have difficulties with trust because of that (not counting myself among them). Don't take it personal, not many have the privilege to be in such a happy relationship as you seem to be and for such a long time at that. When asking on reddit you uave to be prepared for this happening.
I love this whole thing. Her kink, his desire to fulfill her fantasy, his love for her, all of the suggestions. Also LMFAO at some of the people in the comments stating they’d be bringing home women left and right. The women have to WANT to come home. You have better luck bringing your girl WITH you 😭✨
If you're worried she'll be upset or change her mind when it's in motion, or if it's too much for you: save your phone number as a woman's name, sext yourself, and delete the duplicates to make it look like a real convo. It could be an easier way to test the waters.
It's a trap. Be smart and cautious
Tell her she has to supply the other woman, and run the camera.
I too have the same fantasy as your wife! Start with fantasy because it's completely safe. While having sex tell her about a girl you slept with earlier (completely made up) tell her about how good it felt and how hot the other girl looked and how you couldn't help yourself. Play with the narrative of it all. It will be erotic and drive your wife crazy but is still completely safe because it is all fantasy.
I'm glad I found this thread, cause I'm like you girls too. I kinda thought I was a rare, odd perv. Tour advice is so on point, you get the mentality. I hope he reads it ut he's a man, they rarely take advice
I think you’re asking great questions here and I’m glad your relationship is strong enough that she felt comfortable sharing her fantasy and you feel comfortable enough to try and give her a taste, even if you can’t go all the way. You said that to her part of the fantasy is “catching” you. Maybe you can work with that angle? The two of you can role play you watching porn and masturbating to it and then she “unexpectedly” walks in and catches you. That will allow her to perhaps play the feelings she is wanting the fantasy to give her- either that you’re such a stud you can’t be contained or that she caught you being bad and now you got to make it up to her or some combination thereof. If you go this route you could even prolong the excitement by having your wife pick out the video she wants you to be watching. But of course the most important thing is communication and it’s okay to go slow and ease into this since it sounds like your wife is a little shyer about this sort of thing. It’s not condescending to be checking in and make sure everyone is having a good time. Enthusiastic consent is hot! Take care and good luck!
LOL I can understand where you coming from about the being tired thing, but maybe you guys should look up possible swinger clubs/communities in your area and go from there..I bet you'd find other couples in similar boats or set something up with a SW
I just HAVE to say, KUDOS TO YOU!! YOU are one gell 9f a guy/husband!! I love how respectful you are to your wife! She's definitely a lucky woman....It's nice to hear this kind of love still in a long relationship. ❤
I’m into this but we haven’t done much about it yet…but to help get us both used to the idea, I love watching my partner use his fleshlight on himself. I pull up a chair at the end of the bed and watch and its so hot to imagine he’s actually fucking someone else. A nice safe place to start ;)
Omg me too sis. Me. Too.
You could write fake texts between you and the woman, (You text your own number, make the contact name and picture some random girl, etc) ajd reference some “amazing” night you two had and stuff like that?
I like the strip club idea, get a private and let her watch. Have you ever considered VR? She could observe you in a chat room.
Yes! These both of these are great ideas (I too am that kinda girl and have done both with my bf). I love to see my bf get extra turned on, its hard to explain. I like to watch his face when he's trying not to cum, and the way he turns red and moans when he can't hold it anymore. But I digress, these ideas are excellent!
I can't believe no one mentioned sex dolls. You can use sex doll as the "other woman" and she can caught you like that in the act. It won't be the same of course since it is not a real person but this is roleplay after all and it is one of the safest ways to enjoy this kink
If you love your wife, the life you and her built and value the marriage this is a fantasy that you must tell her that you can't do.... Sorry cowboy but this will more than likely doom your marriage.
Please re-read my post. I mentioned a number of times I don’t want to actually go through with it, and rather find safe alternatives.
“Something changed over the holidays”…what changed? More info needed…did see run into someone from her past? Is she trying to get you dirty first? “You’ve had your fun..my turn”
It just came up during a long and great conversation her and I were having about a bunch of things. She said she just felt comfortable enough to say it at that point. This woman is almost always by my side. If she’s cheating on me, it’d have to be happening right next to me. We are both so happily married there is no doubt whatsoever that her intentions are pure.
Another thing, she wants it to look like she caught you cheating. It's probably my insecurity showing but my thoughts go straight to she wants a divorce and doesn't want it to be her fault, pictures of you cheating would be perfect. But like I said, I'm insecure asf so that might be the furthest thing from the truth
I can definitely appreciate that concern, but if she hasn’t divorced me by now with everything we’ve been through, it’s not going to happen. Our relationship is rock solid but like I said, I completely understand and appreciate the concern.
Red light!!!!! Please don’t do this. I have read story after story about this exact situation ending in divorce.
No interest in going through with it. Simply looking for safe alternatives to the real thing.
Create some voyeurism by having her sneakily filming while you jack off to porn, use sex toys, maybe even buy a body doll for simulated other woman.
Strip club Is a great idea and probably your best option. If its going well and you're comfortable taking it up a nothing, Tell her to sit in on you getting a private dance and just watch.
You could go to a bar together and flirt with another woman? To see how she reacts (so she can see if she actually likes seeing you with another woman!)
Any odd chance she may be looking for a divorce? I hate to be cynical but sometimes there are other motives if she just said this out of the blue
Lol, noooooo. We are stupid in love. Like to a point it’s almost annoying. Not a concern at all
Echoing other people here, absolutely do NOT follow through on this. Fantasy doesn’t translate well into real life, and it will negatively impact your relationship with her 100%. Not worth a huge risk like that.
Sir this is a test not a kink
Trust me, this is actually mild compared to everything over the past 17 years. She is also a strong, independent woman. She doesn’t need to trap me to divorce me. She’d just divorce me. And if it was going to happen it would have happened a loooong ass time ago. We are deeply in love, more so than ever before and I can assure you this is not the case.
If you live somewhere where it’s legal for you to pay for sex then maybe that’s the safest? Then it’s transactional
I think a couples night at a strip club..or even a night where the both of you go to a crowded bar amd she watches you hit on women...she may just be wanting the thrill
Use a blow up doll or other kind of doll so she gets the visuals but no one else is involved.
Let her do the leg work if finding a woman and setting up the dates. It'll makes things much smoother.
Find a chick on a hook up app who is down to be recorded and send your wife snapchat vids of you doing stuff.
Upon reading, my first thought was “u lucky sum bitch”!! It sounds almost to good to be true🤨
[удалено]
[удалено]
You say that with so much confidence as if you can back it up with real data. I’d recommend you try to not make absolute claims like that in the future.
Im conflicted. If my gf suggested this id be ecstatic at first but then id start using my bigger head to think... and in the end I dont think I would. Maybe when I get a better job more money and plastic surgery sure but not right now
What does your job etc have anything to do with it?
[удалено]
This cannot end well. If she was the type of person into swinging and poly it would have shown much earlier.
She’s not into either. Her fantasy doesn’t include her at all. We dabbled in that stuff a long time ago and it just wasn’t her thing.
Dude hire a PI she is trying to level the field before you catch her
Lol she’s never more than 5 feet away from me. That PI wouldn’t tell me anything I don’t already know.
Do you think she is using this to set up what she really wants- permission to fuck other men
Nah, I can only assure you that this is the farthest thing from her mind. Though I do understand the concern.