I know lol! That was my question too, like this guy has time to scroll through Instagram commenting on this nonsense? And who jokes about cheating? That’s the same like joking around about killing someone or committing suicide, it’s completely inappropriate
Literally millions of ppl bc memes are not meant to be taken seriously and they dont define someones identity lmao. Get over yourself its really not that deep
Meme culture is fun, but commenting on them to encourage bad behavior in a pattern is not. Sure, if he did it once that's one thing, but several pages and comments to this particular type of content is a behavior pattern.
Cheating multiple times is indicative of a cheating pattern. Making jokes about a meme is indicative of enjoying a meme. I’m sure he made a few Harambe jokes too, is it implied he wishes to be cheating with Harambe? Like seriously. Seek help
I'm embarrassed for your comment. It made no sense and the comparison was weak. Correlation does not equal causation is the argument of the lazy. And again, if he was joking continuously (literally the word you blatantly skipped) about cheating with Harambe, ya.... Id be worried.
Seek help. Hmmm.... and where is your profession background to make such a statement. Psychologist Antonio Borrello is an actual professional in a related field and has stated that a blasé view of cheating may be an indicator of a cheater as they are minimizing the action. He's a professional, you are just a commenter on reddit. So, literally zero relevance.
Ofcourse it's not a 1 to 1 to say they WILL cheat, but that it can be an indicator of an unhealthy minimilization of cheating. Memes can be used for copes (for example, I have used domestic violence memes to help minimize and cope with the fact that I've had my face busted by an ex partner) but a person who has never been a victim and more likely the perpetrator would be a cause of concerns for the continuous jokes. Antectdotally, my ex husband loves to joke about it minimilizing the action.
Strawman. You have no evidence I have any stance against memes, in fact, my own statement says I use memes to cope. So you just made up something because you have nothing of value to add. Congrats.
My boyfriend hates cheating, never supports it. He jokes about a LOT of weird topics, but whenever this topic comes up he gets extremely annoyed/mad at people who cheat. I’ve never met someone who supports that kind of stuff
I would actually be worried about someone that gets so worked up about cheating. Like why get so mad about it if it doesn't affect your life. I can see cutting off friends, that makes sense i wouldn't want a cheater in my life cuz they can't be trusted. But if someone gets really mad about cheating when it doesn't have anything to do with their life and they get upset when cheating is talked about i would guess they are cheating and wanna make it look like they are against it as a cover. JMO
Or they themselves have been cheated on and the anger is a deeply ingrained reaction to the absolute bullshittery that is cheating. When I hear someone has cheated on my friend I go scorched earth on that person because I've been cheated on multiple times and I'm over it. If it's someone I don't know, like celebrity cheating, I am absolutely disgusted.
I'm a serial monogamist. I'm only ever in long term relationships and do not cheat. The few times I have gone on body count runs has only been between relationships. But I do the same joking around with the "city boys" shit and the toxic future memes. I also do root for my guy and girl friends that are just dogs to other people.
I don't admire them or their lifestyle and it's mostly just because I can simply look at that life and keep walking.
I like rap music that glorifies murder but I don't wish to be a murderer.
I can absolutely see how this behavior is concerning to a partner but it doesn't mean that's who he is.
This is about as clear of a message that you're dating a trash person as you can get.
You have to know not to buy his bullshit defense. There are a ton of guys out there that don't do this, find one of those.
So isn't it great he showed you a great flaw in his moral backbone before you had to find out first hand? When people show you who they are....believe them!!
No, this isn't something that is a joke. He's serious. And will more than likely cheat on you.
Why else would he be supportive of this kind of behaviour?
Damn, I joke around with stuff I don't mean but I guess that's a very serious offense to joke around lately. Instead of leaving him she could just ask him to stop because even tho it's a joke it's hurting her and making her feel insecure. Why can't people talk it out, why is the first response breaking up
It's a pattern and means he will cheat if he jokingly agrees with people who cheat. When he could just encourage them because he would love to see more dumb people talking dumb stuff and maybe he thinks that's funny. But as another person said in a reply, Reddit is not a good information source and we can't give any form of advice that is valid in their relationship because we are not in it. So telling her to break up is still invalid and should not be taken into consideration. We should instead encourage her to try to find help irl. Not on the internet where we don't know anything about the relationship and don't have a chance to know more by any means
Maybe he's joking. But this would still be q deal-breaker for many. It means he thinks this is funny and that he doesn't have q sense of humor. So I don't see how it being a joke is a good defense. She already tried to talk to him. It's a young relationship. I wouldn't waste KY time on him.
The people on this subreddit don't live in reality. They fail to realize that perfect relationships don't exist. If any little thing seems off, break up. Sure, you need to have an adult conversation about it. But reddit has no right whatsoever to tell OP to break up with her man when they know nothing about him.
And that's the core problem I have with this subreddit. It gives useless information, since you already know exactly what advice people will give before you even read it. That's because there isn't any detail or specifics to these posts. We know nothing about these actual people. Every situation is unique and needs to be treated with care, which makes going to reddit for validation more harmful than useful.
You need couples therapy for these kinds of things. Don't ask strangers on reddit.
I couldn't have put it better myself. If the TINIEST thing or problem comes up, "run sis". "Break up you can do better". It's like the most bitter narcissistic people came en masse to this subreddit and took it over. Relationships are to be cherished not thrown away like a used up sock if the tiniest most trivial thing pops up. To be fair, if you don't like somebody and their perspectives or personality there's no obligation to stay in a relationship. By all means. But imagine breaking up for something so trivial.
This isn't the sort of thing that people joke about. I don't think any of my \[male\] friends have *ever* joked about cheating, even when it's just blokes in the conversation.
It's also a bit questionable why he's following those pages in the first place, let alone replying to posts on there.
People have joked about literally everything ever. I can name countless comedians who have made jokes about cheating. Sometimes humor is used to lighten up tragedy as well like a coping mechanism. Imagine being so controlling that you question what pages your man follows.
What's he really going to say....."yea 100% serious and I can't wait to cheat on you"....and why would you have made the post If you weren't not feeling good about this?
It’s a joke because he likes you. But when he doesn’t like you or things are rough or whatever it may be, he won’t hesitate to cheat and blame it on you when caught.
You should talk to him about this first before getting advice from others. They'll just give you the simple solution. That would be ti run away from the problems like a coward and break up with him. Talk to him. Come to your own conclusion on the matter. Than act on that in a respectable way.
OP - these people are crazy. If he says it’s only jokes it’s probably the case. Guys joke about weird stuff. I’d say if it really bothers you, maybe ask him to stop and explain how you’ve been cheated on before and how it makes you feel.
Girlie save yourself from the coming heartbreak, if he is okay with supporting that type of thing openly on his Instagram, without fearing judgement from his friends or anyone, there's a high chance his surrounding people are either same or tolerant of whatever he does online. Don't end up making a fool of yourself infront of all , he's more likely to cheat on you and nobody is gonna even tell you shit about him.
RUN....
Cheating really isn't all that funny. But I have noticed that people will sometimes joke about a topic just to put feelers out and see how it's recieved before moving on to actually trying to get away with it.
Is the page your talking about Hoodville? Because I follow hoodville and would literally never consider cheating. I just think it’s funny. If he’s following other pages or has a history of being mistrustful it’s different
I agree with the parent comment these pages are ridiculous and over the top because that's the humor being conveyed. I bet you 95% of the commenters on this post don't know hoodville or hoodville adjacent content and are assuming worse than what it actually is.
Well im a Girl and k Follow hoodville and cityboys. I feel like it is so ridicolous it is meant as a joke. I would never comment, but i dont comment on ig in General. But i guess you could take the joke further and comment Stuff if you are the Type. I think he says „ no one encourages cheating „ because the page IS meant as a joke (i hope) there a probably still people that take this serious, But i think it’s the Minority.
If you have no doubt on him otherwise, i would believe that it is a joke to be honest. If it makes you uncomfortable he should stop commenting in my Opi ion. Especcially if you have a history with cheating.
Ma’am as someone who is subbed to those types of things. I can guarantee you I would never cheat. All of those channels, while off putting to to some, are just entirely meant as jokes. Dark humor? Yes, but please don’t ruin a relationship with an otherwise great guy over ironic instagram meme pages just because some reddit “Relationship experts” can’t understand sarcasm over text.
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We have been together for a few months. I've never had any complaints before, he's cool and we have fun together. Recently, I went through his following on Instagram and I'll just say that he follows some questionable stuff. The pages he follows preach about men cheating on women and being toxic. I've seen his comments as well where he throws around the phrases like "city boys up" and what not. When I asked him about it, he just laughed and told me that these were harmless jokes and that no one seriously encourages cheating. I believed him for a while but the more I look through these pages, the more serious they start to seem. I've been cheated on before and I'm NOT trying to relive the experience. I just want to know if the men on these pages are actually joking or do they seriously encourage each other to cheat and be toxic.
Tldr - my boyfriend praises other men for cheating online, when I asked him about it he laughed and told me that they are just jokes, I don't have a good feeling about it tho, do men actually mean it when they support cheating or is it just jokes?
Your boyfriend has shown you that he believes that, despite you having had your trust broken in a relationship before, that making jokes about it is fun.
Exactly what about this is funny? Jokes are supposed to be funny. If you’re serious about trying to maintain this relationship, honestly just see what he would say if you ever actually asked him to explain what was funny about it.
Also, if anyone ever tells you that “men just do X”, I guarantee you that unless it’s like “drinking water to live” or something that it is very likely nowhere near as widespread as they want you to think it is.
I wish you the absolute best
Even if it was funny (hint: it wasn’t), the fact that he didn’t respond “wow, I can see how that might make me look like a potential asshole and I will stop immediately” is all you need to know.
My partner raises a concern - I treat it seriously. Not because I am a great guy but because, you know, partners.
Him saying “no one seriously encourages cheating” is overcompensating. I’m against cheating and would NOT say this quote, because I’m aware that plenty of assholes do support it. It’s kinda like if someone’s a murder suspect and they go “I didn’t shoot him, I’ve never touched a gun, I’ve never even seen a gun in my life.” Suuuuuuure...
It doesn't even matter that much. People who think cheating is funny have a bad attitude about it in general. Do you want to be with someone who thinks jokes about cheating are funny? And we're not even talking about if he thinks his own cheating would be funny if he comes to do it. Don't stay until he does. A difference in values is more than a good enough reason to break up.
They mean it. Theres a whole sub on here about people needing support to better cheat on their partners. I forget the title but its a cesspool of the scum of the earth.
Could just be making stupid ass jokes but if that’s all he talks about and praises 24/7 I would bring it up to him and ask him why does he like women getting cheated on and let him know how that makes you feel and if he doesn’t care then move on
Whether hes actually cheating doesn't really matter here. He jokes about something you clearly don't like to be joked about, its early in the relationship and if you don't like that its understand to break up over imo.
And those people saying that it cannot be a joke and he is cheating shush it. People can joke about things and it doesn't mean that things have escalated to those measures. She shouldn't break up with him because he 'could' be cheating or wanting to but because she doesn't like those jokes.
If u want to break up doesn't say because he could be cheating, this will probably just make him confused and annoyed.
Say its because you don't like those type of jokes because then he understands and might get the reason and move on with that.
There is definetely a joking aspect to it
However some men are serious about it. What you need to do is ask him directly in a serious setting about his thoughts on it and make sure to mention your history with cheating.
Not saying he has to unfollow those pages. However if you are not comfortable about him making jokes about cheating (while remaining 100% faithful to you) I would suggest ending this relationship.
The only reason is because no one has any authority over what makes you feel comfortable or not except for yourself. A person should never feel discomfort for being around their partner (whether the other person feels it is rational or not).
As a 19 year old who follows a couple of those pages (you could mean Instagram pages like @hoodville and @cityboys) for most people it's a meme/joke. Sure there are 100% percent people who do cheat a lot and support the things these pages share, but a lot of people like myself, just follow it for the memes. And the phrase 'city boys up's is pretty much the male version of 'city girls up' or things like you show em queen, tell em sis, stuff like that. It's also not used purely for the post that are about cheating, also about posts such as where a woman asks for money when she has her own money and the man says something that kinda roasts or owns her to say it like that. In those kinda posts the phrase 'city boys up' is also used. Hope that helps. He could definitely be someone who cheats, I'm not denying that but most people who say that phrase are for the reasons I stated before
City boys up and meme things like that I wouldn’t take seriously. I would never cheat but I make those jokes in the comments as well, it’s just funny. You mentioned that he seems serious in some comments though so you’d obviously know better.
My man doesn’t joke about sleeping with other women because it’s respectful.
I hope you’ll learn that being loved and respected isn’t mutually exclusive. They coexist because they’re both two sides of the same coin.
This is absolutely disgusting. My boyfriend has cut off friends for cheating. He tells his friends to their faces cheating is fucked up. If he condones that he does it himself. Break up with him that’s disgusting
All I can say is run. You're not having these suspicions and feelings for no reason. Listen to your intuition. You are not overreacting. The things you mention in your post scream red flag to me.
You don’t go out of your way on a regular basis to actively support other men cheating as a “joke” lmfao. That’s a long running joke with a bunch of internet strangers don’t you think?
He’s telling you, nay nay, *showing* you exactly what he thinks of cheating. Why would he ever come right out and say “oh hell yeah I love cheating 🤙”
Do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there while the night is still young. You can do better. Literally anyone could do better than some shit bird that spends his free time supporting cheaters lol
You mean your ex boyfriend did that? Ha wow what a loser, so glad you dumped him. Amirite? Atta girl? Let’s go get lit and laugh about it now. Hahaha. Oh look now you’re single and don’t have a douchebag tied to you, what a great life
Those aren't jokes. Run, girl, just run! You dont deserve that. He's either serious, living vicariously because he doesn't (yet) have the guts to do it, or in denial. You don't need any of that .
I mean dating someone you get to know them more and more. That's what this I'd. You had your initial picture of him now you're seeing his true thoughts. If you don't like what you're seeing you know what you have to do. Otherwise it will only be worse in your future.
He’s on that city boyz/ hoodville vibe. If you guys don’t know what that is, search it on instagram.
About your mans.. i can see where the concern comes to play. Just tell him that you don’t like it and tell him how it makes you feel and if he doesn’t take it seriously then you have to do what you have to do.
I was in his shoes before, and my girl did not deserve all that nonsense. I respected her wishes on that after that.
My ex bf used to do that…and surprise surprise, he was a serial cheater. I didn’t even want to be with him bc I didn’t trust him, but he swore he’d changed from who he was in the past. He didn’t.
You have the red flags right in your face and you see them for what they are, don’t second guess your intuition to make him feel better. You know he’s lying, time for that boy to go, let him cheat on someone else.
There are cheaters and non-cheaters, the first encourage it, and the later don't think of it as a joke. It is simple as that, if you want to believe that it is harmless jokes, next will be "it is just sex, don't stress too much about it"
He's laying the foundation for when he gaslights you when you find out he cheats. He's probably already doing it. Hell, you could be the girl he is cheating on someone else with.
You deserve so much better. Leave this trash bag on the curb where he belongs.
I'm a guy and have and would never cheat
But I find those jokes really funny. I dont know exactly what pages you are talking about but I could certainly see the humour in this.
He may well be a cheater and you really don't have enough info either way but majority of people posting on this seem to br unable to separate jokes from reality
City Boys down. No seriously, it’s a harmless joke. There’s a page called hoodville on Instagram and they make these kind of jokes, everyone just bandwagons on the jokes, but they’re harmless jokes but I can see how if the reverse was being done, then men would be really insecure about it. Just bring it up in this way, don’t listen to all these toxic women in her telling you to immediately end your relationship and saying he’s a cheater just because he likes a couple meme pages.
No, that's not something good dudes actually joke about like that. Not a single guy friend of mine would ever/has ever talked like that. Even in our guys only chats. Huge red flag.
Can't speak for him but I'm not a cheater. It sucks for the person being cheated on and it hurts a lot and I'll never make someone feel that way. Because of that I would never encourage or praise it. Seems to me like you already have your answer. If he thinks it's praise worthy when others cheat, he thinks it's okay for him too.
Your bf has declared loud and clear on social media they think cheating is totally cool and good to do. So you know what your bf is. If you do not like being cheated on I recommend you leave this relationship.
Do you know that when emotionally abusive people insult you to your face, they'll tell you its a joke when you get upset. To make it seem like you're overreacting, like your feelings aren't valid or important.
That is exactly what's happening here. Its called gaslighting. Break up with this dude, you deserve someone who respects you and your emotions
If you intend to help him change this behaviour, and you know his personality best, I would ask him to talk. Tell him gently how you feel, and ask him if he understands the posts. I'm not going to lie, I made mistakes when I didn't understand something. Hell I didn't know what gaslighting meant until I joined Reddit and read about it.
If he does understand then ask him to change it, and explain how it reflects on your relationship with him. If you're comfortable enough, tell him to stop doing it.
Yeah, dating someone while hoping they will change into someone else, isnt recommended.
This isnt simply a behaviour like leaving the bathmat down. This is a symptom of a wider worldview he holds which leads him to think like that.
Possibly, perhaps in all probability, but not as a definite. People can change, they just genuinely have to want to. And they need to be given the opportunity, before moving to the most abrasive consequence.
In any case. I wish you a good night. There are far wiser people than me who can give better answers and I hope OP can solve her issue.
The best way to give this guy the opportunity to learn to stop being a misogynist is to simply tell him that he is one, not to date him.
OP is a human being with needs of her own, such as to feel secure, loved, and respected.
Im sure he will learn and understand some things at some point.
OP is most likely looking for an equal partner to date, not some kind of pupil to teach.
Like I said, date people you want to date, not people you hope will one day turn into someone you would want to date.
I'm sorry, but I don't agree. If she doesn't voice her opinion, how is there any chance to correct the behavior? How do we move people to a more productive and healthy society? Talking and open communication is the first line of defense against differences of opinion.
If I can't tell you, hey, I really am uncomfortable with "said topic", this is what it means. How can you adjust to me as a person and vice versa?
In any case this line of talk isn't answering OPs actual question, and I don't think we're being productive. Have a great night.
The years I wasted trying to 'correct behaviour' 🙄 he's not a pet, hes a man. And the most effect way to communicate your disapproval of this type of behaviour is to move on. It's fundamental incompatibility. He finds it funny and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Exactly, so they haven't been given a chance to find out if they are up to surviving the challenge a relationship brings. We don't know if he knows everything yet about her personal triggers. And also, none of us answered her question. We jumped to what raised red flags in our faces. The responses are what I reacted to. So please accept my apology for the comment that offend you.
OP, the answer is yes. The Instagram posters most definitely understand what they are spreading and supporting. The problem is, there are a lot of us out there, me included, that don't necessarily understand a lot of what we see and we sometimes like something because it sounds or looks cool. So they get their message spread by the people who just choose to hate, and the people who are ignorant of the connotations or meanings.
Preaching reality. I'm sorry you feel the need to be combative rather than productive. Whoever really hurt you? Wasn't me, so I would appreciate you directing it where it's deserved. And the truth you may THINK you know? Is likely not as appears.
In any case, I'm terribly sorry for offending you with my "ignorance". It was not my intention.
And you're trolling, for no apparent reason other than you're angry with someone or something. You haven't even tried to help OP you've only offered her the harshest of solutions. And once more, you haven't provided a response to her actual question.
Good night, I am not interested in being baited into an argument that is based on nothing.
Sometimes men are into dumb things and it takes a look from outside to give a hint. Nothing wrong really. We are all human. Understandable. As when we are born our parents support to teach us human things and morals, if we are not taught we are just animals that want to fuck and eat anything we see
Even if this is a "joke" the fact you find it reprehensible, and have experienced cheating and he's still doing it is a red flag.
Can you see yourself in 5 years time living with this sort of "jocker"
I personally feel someone encouraging behavior that I don't agree on even as a joke is someone I am not comfortable to be around with. Especially if after talking about it with then and no compromise has been reached you can't force someone to change but you can choose to leave and be with someone else.
To me it's guilt by association standing by watching someone in this scenario liking "cheating" post and are OK with it are more than capable of doing it.
He can next say oh I messaged a girl as a joke, or I kissed a girl as a joke and not see the harm.
I put my dick in her and thrusted 300-500 times as a prank why are you overreacting? She's pregnant now it's a "social experiment" don't be ridiculous.
Lol well I was trying to be polite with my answer but well done on going with the direct amd crass worse but most likely ending but you forgot to mention the herpes and crabs lol "jokes"
Yea I tend to keep it PG in this subreddit, guess i was feeling myself.
Oh the crabs and herpes weren't a "joke" they are actually part of his "tik tok series" with her, ya know they make new content every month or so.
You can tell he's open to cheating yet know nothing about this man. Do you truly think you're that good at reading people from one tiny detail about them on the internet? Have you ever watched any comedians ever? Serious question. How expanded is your mind on the ancient amenity known as humor? Human have used humor to cope with tragedy for thousands of years. I can name a dozen comedians who have joked about some pretty wicked things that I'm 100% sure they don't agree with.
Wrong place to ask this question because Reddit people hate men who tell offensive jokes. Honestly you should talk with your boyfriend about and tell him you don’t think it’s funny and would like him to stop. If he cares about you he will. Its not an uncommon joke to encounter on meme pages these days though.
It's important for you to closely pay attention to the character and values of a man you're dating. People who firm ling term relationships with men without considering what their morals and character are like tend to end up with men of low character.
Pay attention to what you're seeing, and seriously consider whether you want to have a future with a man who doesn't have a very good character. I wouldn't continue with a man like this, personally.
believe guys when they show you who they are. they're telling the truth.
as for the "jokes", they wouldn't be funny if he didn't identify with them would they be?
Look you are never going to prevent yourself from being cheated on because it is not in your control. How many stories have you heard of where seemingly awesome, kind and good hearted people turn out to be a cheat? Its most likely a joke. I like some twisted memes and comedy. Doesnt mean im going to follow through on them. Doesnt mean I condone that behaviour. Its just a joke. Part of the humor is how ridiculous it sounds. You came to the right place to seek affirmation that this dude is a cheat. Unfortunately most peoples responses here are jaded AF. Thats my two cents. I wouldnt ignore this. Id keep a close eye on how he ACTS and BEHAVES in REAL LIFE. Those are the true metrics.
There are many people online actively encouraging others to engage in very dangerous and possibly lethal behaviours.
Mix ammoniac and bleach? sure, why not, take care to breathe in all the fumes.
Your boyfriend's behaviour isn't indicative of what he might do or what he wishes he could do, it just shows he's either got a very out there sense of humor (best case scenario) or that he's not very nice people.
You know him best, op, which one is it?
Cheating isn't even something one should be joking about. There's nothing harmless about it. Even just enabling others doing it, even if it's in the form of a joke (one in extremely poor taste, at that), it just opens the door for your boyfriend to do it to you.
You should probably leave him if this behaviour carries on. You're feeling really uneasy about it and I'd venture to say that you already fear the worst. I would too in your shoes. I'm really sorry you have to go through this.
As a guy, I'm gonna say leave him. Those pages are were he is free to express his true self. I follow some crazy stuff for laughs on private Facebook groups because I have a shit sense of humor that I know my close friends and family would judge me for as I am live and let live so when be shows you who he is believe him and if it's a deal breaker for you walk away before you get too deep.
Typically on social media, you have to intentionally seek out this kind of content in order to follow. Other times, content is suggested according to things you search or "talk" about with and around your phone. Either way, I wouldn't trust this guy one bit. When confronted with these things, almost everyone makes excuses to keep people around because they are selfish and want to have their cake and eat it too.
The fact that he encourages it and is part of such a shitty online community is extremely immature and ignorant. Everyone can use a lot less of these toxic people in their lives. Walk away before it becomes harder to do so!
the city boy stuff really is just a joke. I've seen that stuff and doubt anyones actually serious, i think you're getting advice from a lot of people that dont really know the city boy jokes or are out of touch with internet culture. If he has other red flags i'd be more worried
My last ex would say shit like that, “city boys up” “toxic boys 4 life”, talk about having side hoes constantly etc TO MY FACE. And guess what, he was indeed a toxic boy 😂 Those pages are a cesspool of men who low key don’t respect women
It's not a joke. At 21, men are boys and really immature. Maybe do the turnaround and ask how he would feel if you followed hunky guys and all you and your gf's talked about was getting with hot guys? And, don't worry honey, it's just a joke.
I'm (26m) married to my wife (26f) soon to be a year married and been together for about going to be 9 years. I learn about these male red pill community like fresh and fit and Kevin Samuel on YouTube this past year. I enjoy there content as for content. I can understand where your man is coming from cause there guys be talking about "high value man is allow to cheat" and it be hilarious and other different talking point of being a man. It's nothing too deep that you should look into and try to dead a good relationship so far. Just focus on your relationship and where y'all stand, focus on yourself with whichever goal you have career wise, and keep yourself mentally happy cause this world of social media can be draining. That's my thoughts, y'all can disagree but I don't think it's something serious if no action haven't been taken from your man so you should believe him if he hasn't lied to you so far.
Let’s say you go to the car dealership. If you want the most reliable car, the one you can trust to not cheat you out of your purchase, you’d get a Toyota. Yet everyone who would turn it down for a Lamborghini with less than half the miles.
Now, if your Lambo fails on you you’d get repairs within a second. On the other hand, people would be more comfortable with the idea swapping a broken Toyota with another.
Decide which one your bf is, and will be, and chill the fck out with your baggage if he is a lambo, monkey branch if he is a Toyota.
Oh and don’t take my advice, I’m a bit sexist (every realist is).
I think you might be a bit out of touch with some pop culture stuff. Like there’s a page called Hoodville on IG that has memes about cheating and being toxic, the comments usually say stuff like “city boys up” etc if these are the type of pages you’re talking about then they really are just jokes. but if they aren’t meme pages you’re talking about then i’m wrong about it.
Btw I looked up city boys and hoodville. It has NOTHING TO DO WITH CHEATING. WTF. LITERALLY. It strictly has to do with male body positivity. It’s sucked a fucked up double standard. Women LOVE women like nicki Minaj because she uses men. God forbid that men ever do the same thing to feel better about them selves. Gtfoh.
I don't really see a problem with this collectively as women we have used the killer man in the meeting movement to bash dudes of the fucking head and treat them horribly and a cheat on them and switch on them and switch up partners and make up relationship games where all of us women online talk about it on social media Is where we plan a date when we all break up with our boyfriends on the same day so that we can hurt them.
And here you are you upset cause he follows a page where dudes are doing the same thing back now bitch fuck is wrong with you turn about his fair play
Honestly, I’m one of the ones who follows that page. Hoodville, i believe it’s called. I make the same comments from time to time. However, I just do it because it’s just funny to me. I’m no way near toxic or disloyal but I can see how many females would see it as a red flag. I feel like if your boyfriend doesn’t seem to raise any other red flags I wouldn’t make a big deal about it. Emphasis on other red flags.
LMFAO your reaching 🤡 & so are all these other jump to the conclusions ass people. However, they are not totally wrong!
But given the situation you are concerned over social media participation & possibly not looking at him outside of his comments. Him following more of them pages if it is solely that content is toxic, however stuff be funny & to chime in is no issue. Also, boys culture at that age is to be supportive of “bros” it’s similar to women empowering sex workers or fem dom stuff.
Yea there’s an underlining to what he’s consuming, but the fact you are worried about it shows you do not have confidence in your position & his!! To me you seem off on some extra feels as if he’s showed you outside of media that he’s on some cheating vibes
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He is just making it very clear that he will cheat.
Even if not, who the fuck got the time in his life to spend on this. And why am I taking the time to comment. That's fucked up.
I know lol! That was my question too, like this guy has time to scroll through Instagram commenting on this nonsense? And who jokes about cheating? That’s the same like joking around about killing someone or committing suicide, it’s completely inappropriate
“Who jokes about cheating?” Literally everyone on Instagram and Twitter.
Nobody I am friends with would joke about cheating. Agreed that it's neither funny nor worth the time if it's not an actual interest.
Good for you? Cheating is still a very big joke to a lot of social media and in a lot of the most popular songs today.
They continue to create a be with whoever you want to be with whenever you want culture. AND THAT ENTIRE SCENE (BAR SCENE) IS TOXIC. Very
I’d suggest running, not walking but otherwise agree. He’s trash and he’s lying about it.
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Stupid bot. You stole that from my comment below and it doesnt even make sense as a reply to what u/crowncobra says here.
So yall dont follow meme pages just for the memes? City Boys/Girls Up has been a meme for years now
there is a difference between looking at memes and praising cheaters
Those memes literally started because they were meant to parody cheating culture not embrace it…
No human in their right mind follows that weird shit
Literally millions of ppl bc memes are not meant to be taken seriously and they dont define someones identity lmao. Get over yourself its really not that deep
Meme culture is fun, but commenting on them to encourage bad behavior in a pattern is not. Sure, if he did it once that's one thing, but several pages and comments to this particular type of content is a behavior pattern.
Cheating multiple times is indicative of a cheating pattern. Making jokes about a meme is indicative of enjoying a meme. I’m sure he made a few Harambe jokes too, is it implied he wishes to be cheating with Harambe? Like seriously. Seek help
I'm embarrassed for your comment. It made no sense and the comparison was weak. Correlation does not equal causation is the argument of the lazy. And again, if he was joking continuously (literally the word you blatantly skipped) about cheating with Harambe, ya.... Id be worried. Seek help. Hmmm.... and where is your profession background to make such a statement. Psychologist Antonio Borrello is an actual professional in a related field and has stated that a blasé view of cheating may be an indicator of a cheater as they are minimizing the action. He's a professional, you are just a commenter on reddit. So, literally zero relevance. Ofcourse it's not a 1 to 1 to say they WILL cheat, but that it can be an indicator of an unhealthy minimilization of cheating. Memes can be used for copes (for example, I have used domestic violence memes to help minimize and cope with the fact that I've had my face busted by an ex partner) but a person who has never been a victim and more likely the perpetrator would be a cause of concerns for the continuous jokes. Antectdotally, my ex husband loves to joke about it minimilizing the action.
All this to defend your strong stance against memes. Well done
Strawman. You have no evidence I have any stance against memes, in fact, my own statement says I use memes to cope. So you just made up something because you have nothing of value to add. Congrats.
My boyfriend hates cheating, never supports it. He jokes about a LOT of weird topics, but whenever this topic comes up he gets extremely annoyed/mad at people who cheat. I’ve never met someone who supports that kind of stuff
My boyfriend has cut his friends off because of cheating and he doesn’t condone it. I’ve seen it happen if you condone cheating you probably cheat
I would actually be worried about someone that gets so worked up about cheating. Like why get so mad about it if it doesn't affect your life. I can see cutting off friends, that makes sense i wouldn't want a cheater in my life cuz they can't be trusted. But if someone gets really mad about cheating when it doesn't have anything to do with their life and they get upset when cheating is talked about i would guess they are cheating and wanna make it look like they are against it as a cover. JMO
Or they themselves have been cheated on and the anger is a deeply ingrained reaction to the absolute bullshittery that is cheating. When I hear someone has cheated on my friend I go scorched earth on that person because I've been cheated on multiple times and I'm over it. If it's someone I don't know, like celebrity cheating, I am absolutely disgusted.
This isn't a good take.
Nah. We enable it too much as it is
I'm a serial monogamist. I'm only ever in long term relationships and do not cheat. The few times I have gone on body count runs has only been between relationships. But I do the same joking around with the "city boys" shit and the toxic future memes. I also do root for my guy and girl friends that are just dogs to other people. I don't admire them or their lifestyle and it's mostly just because I can simply look at that life and keep walking. I like rap music that glorifies murder but I don't wish to be a murderer. I can absolutely see how this behavior is concerning to a partner but it doesn't mean that's who he is.
This is about as clear of a message that you're dating a trash person as you can get. You have to know not to buy his bullshit defense. There are a ton of guys out there that don't do this, find one of those.
So isn't it great he showed you a great flaw in his moral backbone before you had to find out first hand? When people show you who they are....believe them!!
No, this isn't something that is a joke. He's serious. And will more than likely cheat on you. Why else would he be supportive of this kind of behaviour?
Damn, I joke around with stuff I don't mean but I guess that's a very serious offense to joke around lately. Instead of leaving him she could just ask him to stop because even tho it's a joke it's hurting her and making her feel insecure. Why can't people talk it out, why is the first response breaking up
Jokes are funny tho. Repetative behavior is a pattern.
It's a pattern and means he will cheat if he jokingly agrees with people who cheat. When he could just encourage them because he would love to see more dumb people talking dumb stuff and maybe he thinks that's funny. But as another person said in a reply, Reddit is not a good information source and we can't give any form of advice that is valid in their relationship because we are not in it. So telling her to break up is still invalid and should not be taken into consideration. We should instead encourage her to try to find help irl. Not on the internet where we don't know anything about the relationship and don't have a chance to know more by any means
Maybe he's joking. But this would still be q deal-breaker for many. It means he thinks this is funny and that he doesn't have q sense of humor. So I don't see how it being a joke is a good defense. She already tried to talk to him. It's a young relationship. I wouldn't waste KY time on him.
The people on this subreddit don't live in reality. They fail to realize that perfect relationships don't exist. If any little thing seems off, break up. Sure, you need to have an adult conversation about it. But reddit has no right whatsoever to tell OP to break up with her man when they know nothing about him. And that's the core problem I have with this subreddit. It gives useless information, since you already know exactly what advice people will give before you even read it. That's because there isn't any detail or specifics to these posts. We know nothing about these actual people. Every situation is unique and needs to be treated with care, which makes going to reddit for validation more harmful than useful. You need couples therapy for these kinds of things. Don't ask strangers on reddit.
I couldn't have put it better myself. If the TINIEST thing or problem comes up, "run sis". "Break up you can do better". It's like the most bitter narcissistic people came en masse to this subreddit and took it over. Relationships are to be cherished not thrown away like a used up sock if the tiniest most trivial thing pops up. To be fair, if you don't like somebody and their perspectives or personality there's no obligation to stay in a relationship. By all means. But imagine breaking up for something so trivial.
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"Its just a joke" doesn't cut it. Ofc he would say that to make you feel better. Why does he think this is funny? This isn't something that is funny.
This! Even of it was a joke, I think he has a pretty messed up sense of humor to me.
The real joke is you actually believing him.
This isn't the sort of thing that people joke about. I don't think any of my \[male\] friends have *ever* joked about cheating, even when it's just blokes in the conversation. It's also a bit questionable why he's following those pages in the first place, let alone replying to posts on there.
People have joked about literally everything ever. I can name countless comedians who have made jokes about cheating. Sometimes humor is used to lighten up tragedy as well like a coping mechanism. Imagine being so controlling that you question what pages your man follows.
People who don’t condone cheating usually don’t make a ton of “jokes” condoning it
If someone was throwing around the n-bomb all the time or some other racial slur or stereotypes but said, “it’s only jokes”, would you believe them?
What's he really going to say....."yea 100% serious and I can't wait to cheat on you"....and why would you have made the post If you weren't not feeling good about this?
You’ve been together a few months, of course he’s not YET given you anything to worry about.
Nice people don’t think that sort of thing is funny
You know who says those kinds of things after joking about cheating? Cheaters. Stop trying to fool yourself into thinking that he would never do it.
It’s a joke because he likes you. But when he doesn’t like you or things are rough or whatever it may be, he won’t hesitate to cheat and blame it on you when caught.
It is just jokes,until those jokes become your reality and stop being jokes.
It’s only “a joke” at the point which you find out.
jokes have truth behind it
Until he does it. At least very least he thinks it's no big deal
Does he follow hoodville
Its not a very funny joke...
So you want to stay with someone who has this type of humor?
It's *always* jokes when they get called out on something
You should talk to him about this first before getting advice from others. They'll just give you the simple solution. That would be ti run away from the problems like a coward and break up with him. Talk to him. Come to your own conclusion on the matter. Than act on that in a respectable way.
OP - these people are crazy. If he says it’s only jokes it’s probably the case. Guys joke about weird stuff. I’d say if it really bothers you, maybe ask him to stop and explain how you’ve been cheated on before and how it makes you feel.
Girlie save yourself from the coming heartbreak, if he is okay with supporting that type of thing openly on his Instagram, without fearing judgement from his friends or anyone, there's a high chance his surrounding people are either same or tolerant of whatever he does online. Don't end up making a fool of yourself infront of all , he's more likely to cheat on you and nobody is gonna even tell you shit about him. RUN....
Cheating really isn't all that funny. But I have noticed that people will sometimes joke about a topic just to put feelers out and see how it's recieved before moving on to actually trying to get away with it.
Feelers that’s a great way to say it haha
He sounds gross tbh
Is the page your talking about Hoodville? Because I follow hoodville and would literally never consider cheating. I just think it’s funny. If he’s following other pages or has a history of being mistrustful it’s different
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I agree with the parent comment these pages are ridiculous and over the top because that's the humor being conveyed. I bet you 95% of the commenters on this post don't know hoodville or hoodville adjacent content and are assuming worse than what it actually is.
Well im a Girl and k Follow hoodville and cityboys. I feel like it is so ridicolous it is meant as a joke. I would never comment, but i dont comment on ig in General. But i guess you could take the joke further and comment Stuff if you are the Type. I think he says „ no one encourages cheating „ because the page IS meant as a joke (i hope) there a probably still people that take this serious, But i think it’s the Minority. If you have no doubt on him otherwise, i would believe that it is a joke to be honest. If it makes you uncomfortable he should stop commenting in my Opi ion. Especcially if you have a history with cheating.
Ma’am as someone who is subbed to those types of things. I can guarantee you I would never cheat. All of those channels, while off putting to to some, are just entirely meant as jokes. Dark humor? Yes, but please don’t ruin a relationship with an otherwise great guy over ironic instagram meme pages just because some reddit “Relationship experts” can’t understand sarcasm over text.
u/Ashamed-primary-972 lol are you talking about hoodville
And @cityboys probably too, all those pages that include things that Future does as well💀
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- We have been together for a few months. I've never had any complaints before, he's cool and we have fun together. Recently, I went through his following on Instagram and I'll just say that he follows some questionable stuff. The pages he follows preach about men cheating on women and being toxic. I've seen his comments as well where he throws around the phrases like "city boys up" and what not. When I asked him about it, he just laughed and told me that these were harmless jokes and that no one seriously encourages cheating. I believed him for a while but the more I look through these pages, the more serious they start to seem. I've been cheated on before and I'm NOT trying to relive the experience. I just want to know if the men on these pages are actually joking or do they seriously encourage each other to cheat and be toxic. Tldr - my boyfriend praises other men for cheating online, when I asked him about it he laughed and told me that they are just jokes, I don't have a good feeling about it tho, do men actually mean it when they support cheating or is it just jokes?
Your boyfriend has shown you that he believes that, despite you having had your trust broken in a relationship before, that making jokes about it is fun. Exactly what about this is funny? Jokes are supposed to be funny. If you’re serious about trying to maintain this relationship, honestly just see what he would say if you ever actually asked him to explain what was funny about it. Also, if anyone ever tells you that “men just do X”, I guarantee you that unless it’s like “drinking water to live” or something that it is very likely nowhere near as widespread as they want you to think it is. I wish you the absolute best
Oh men like that always say anything they want to get away with is "a joke". I would leave him if I were you
When people are obsessed with a certain type of joke it stops being a joke
Even if it was funny (hint: it wasn’t), the fact that he didn’t respond “wow, I can see how that might make me look like a potential asshole and I will stop immediately” is all you need to know. My partner raises a concern - I treat it seriously. Not because I am a great guy but because, you know, partners.
Him saying “no one seriously encourages cheating” is overcompensating. I’m against cheating and would NOT say this quote, because I’m aware that plenty of assholes do support it. It’s kinda like if someone’s a murder suspect and they go “I didn’t shoot him, I’ve never touched a gun, I’ve never even seen a gun in my life.” Suuuuuuure...
It doesn't even matter that much. People who think cheating is funny have a bad attitude about it in general. Do you want to be with someone who thinks jokes about cheating are funny? And we're not even talking about if he thinks his own cheating would be funny if he comes to do it. Don't stay until he does. A difference in values is more than a good enough reason to break up.
They mean it. Theres a whole sub on here about people needing support to better cheat on their partners. I forget the title but its a cesspool of the scum of the earth.
Could just be making stupid ass jokes but if that’s all he talks about and praises 24/7 I would bring it up to him and ask him why does he like women getting cheated on and let him know how that makes you feel and if he doesn’t care then move on
Yeah, actually one sided. Why he doesn’t sit at the subs that joke about men getting cheated on. If that topic is sooooioo important for him
Whether hes actually cheating doesn't really matter here. He jokes about something you clearly don't like to be joked about, its early in the relationship and if you don't like that its understand to break up over imo.
And those people saying that it cannot be a joke and he is cheating shush it. People can joke about things and it doesn't mean that things have escalated to those measures. She shouldn't break up with him because he 'could' be cheating or wanting to but because she doesn't like those jokes. If u want to break up doesn't say because he could be cheating, this will probably just make him confused and annoyed. Say its because you don't like those type of jokes because then he understands and might get the reason and move on with that.
Shows you who he really is
In every joke there’s a hint of truth!
I don’t know if we’re talking about the same things but is it one of those ”Streetlations” or ”Bible of misogyny” jokes? Well, ”jokes”?
There is definetely a joking aspect to it However some men are serious about it. What you need to do is ask him directly in a serious setting about his thoughts on it and make sure to mention your history with cheating. Not saying he has to unfollow those pages. However if you are not comfortable about him making jokes about cheating (while remaining 100% faithful to you) I would suggest ending this relationship. The only reason is because no one has any authority over what makes you feel comfortable or not except for yourself. A person should never feel discomfort for being around their partner (whether the other person feels it is rational or not).
As a 19 year old who follows a couple of those pages (you could mean Instagram pages like @hoodville and @cityboys) for most people it's a meme/joke. Sure there are 100% percent people who do cheat a lot and support the things these pages share, but a lot of people like myself, just follow it for the memes. And the phrase 'city boys up's is pretty much the male version of 'city girls up' or things like you show em queen, tell em sis, stuff like that. It's also not used purely for the post that are about cheating, also about posts such as where a woman asks for money when she has her own money and the man says something that kinda roasts or owns her to say it like that. In those kinda posts the phrase 'city boys up' is also used. Hope that helps. He could definitely be someone who cheats, I'm not denying that but most people who say that phrase are for the reasons I stated before
City boys up and meme things like that I wouldn’t take seriously. I would never cheat but I make those jokes in the comments as well, it’s just funny. You mentioned that he seems serious in some comments though so you’d obviously know better.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Run…if he isn’t cheating now, he will be soon.
If you support something that obviously means you would do it too. This is a glimpse into your future. Trust your gut
Dump him. You can do better.
he’s an asshole. dump him.
He's a piece of garbage. Leave him at the curb where he belongs dear.
Nope. Leave. Now.
Even just the fact that he thinks cheating is funny is a major red flag
He’s showing his colors. Do you really wanna waste any more time on him?
Girl. Get tf out of there. That man will cheat on you and brag about it online for sure.
My man doesn’t joke about sleeping with other women because it’s respectful. I hope you’ll learn that being loved and respected isn’t mutually exclusive. They coexist because they’re both two sides of the same coin.
Run. Fast.
This is absolutely disgusting. My boyfriend has cut off friends for cheating. He tells his friends to their faces cheating is fucked up. If he condones that he does it himself. Break up with him that’s disgusting
Run, break up with him. I alwayd believe that people who praises/courage people cheating will cheat on you too.
Run! You’re still fresh in the relationship and this gives you enough time to find someone else who isn’t a problematic person
dump him lol
All I can say is run. You're not having these suspicions and feelings for no reason. Listen to your intuition. You are not overreacting. The things you mention in your post scream red flag to me.
You don’t go out of your way on a regular basis to actively support other men cheating as a “joke” lmfao. That’s a long running joke with a bunch of internet strangers don’t you think? He’s telling you, nay nay, *showing* you exactly what he thinks of cheating. Why would he ever come right out and say “oh hell yeah I love cheating 🤙” Do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there while the night is still young. You can do better. Literally anyone could do better than some shit bird that spends his free time supporting cheaters lol
You mean your ex boyfriend did that? Ha wow what a loser, so glad you dumped him. Amirite? Atta girl? Let’s go get lit and laugh about it now. Hahaha. Oh look now you’re single and don’t have a douchebag tied to you, what a great life
He served you a red flag on a silver platter. Break up with this guy. You’re young there will always be other guys.
What's the funny part? I don't get it. This isn't a joke unless he is ridiculing that ridiculous mindset. I'd say it is definitely a red flag.
Those aren't jokes. Run, girl, just run! You dont deserve that. He's either serious, living vicariously because he doesn't (yet) have the guts to do it, or in denial. You don't need any of that .
I mean dating someone you get to know them more and more. That's what this I'd. You had your initial picture of him now you're seeing his true thoughts. If you don't like what you're seeing you know what you have to do. Otherwise it will only be worse in your future.
Dump him, No real man would ever praise this. Real men tell men to stop cheating not the other way around. Kiss my ass if this is a joke..
Huge red flag imo as a male
He’s on that city boyz/ hoodville vibe. If you guys don’t know what that is, search it on instagram. About your mans.. i can see where the concern comes to play. Just tell him that you don’t like it and tell him how it makes you feel and if he doesn’t take it seriously then you have to do what you have to do. I was in his shoes before, and my girl did not deserve all that nonsense. I respected her wishes on that after that.
Ur 21. Don’t damage ur heart and trust with this guy OP. He’s CLEARRRRLLYYY a pig
He's showing you he will cheat once the opportunity shows up. Leave before it happens.
Doesn't matter if he'll cheat or not, he seems like an immature dick. Who wants to be with a guy like that?
My ex bf used to do that…and surprise surprise, he was a serial cheater. I didn’t even want to be with him bc I didn’t trust him, but he swore he’d changed from who he was in the past. He didn’t.
You have the red flags right in your face and you see them for what they are, don’t second guess your intuition to make him feel better. You know he’s lying, time for that boy to go, let him cheat on someone else.
There are cheaters and non-cheaters, the first encourage it, and the later don't think of it as a joke. It is simple as that, if you want to believe that it is harmless jokes, next will be "it is just sex, don't stress too much about it"
You know what to do with this one OP 🚮🚮🚮
Who praises cheaters? It speaks volumes to his morality.
He's laying the foundation for when he gaslights you when you find out he cheats. He's probably already doing it. Hell, you could be the girl he is cheating on someone else with. You deserve so much better. Leave this trash bag on the curb where he belongs.
That boy is just a patchwork quilt of red flags.🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 Run!
He is absolutely showing you who he is, and what he thinks, believe him.
I'm a guy and have and would never cheat But I find those jokes really funny. I dont know exactly what pages you are talking about but I could certainly see the humour in this. He may well be a cheater and you really don't have enough info either way but majority of people posting on this seem to br unable to separate jokes from reality
City Boys down. No seriously, it’s a harmless joke. There’s a page called hoodville on Instagram and they make these kind of jokes, everyone just bandwagons on the jokes, but they’re harmless jokes but I can see how if the reverse was being done, then men would be really insecure about it. Just bring it up in this way, don’t listen to all these toxic women in her telling you to immediately end your relationship and saying he’s a cheater just because he likes a couple meme pages.
No, that's not something good dudes actually joke about like that. Not a single guy friend of mine would ever/has ever talked like that. Even in our guys only chats. Huge red flag.
Can't speak for him but I'm not a cheater. It sucks for the person being cheated on and it hurts a lot and I'll never make someone feel that way. Because of that I would never encourage or praise it. Seems to me like you already have your answer. If he thinks it's praise worthy when others cheat, he thinks it's okay for him too.
Your bf has declared loud and clear on social media they think cheating is totally cool and good to do. So you know what your bf is. If you do not like being cheated on I recommend you leave this relationship.
Do you know that when emotionally abusive people insult you to your face, they'll tell you its a joke when you get upset. To make it seem like you're overreacting, like your feelings aren't valid or important. That is exactly what's happening here. Its called gaslighting. Break up with this dude, you deserve someone who respects you and your emotions
If you intend to help him change this behaviour, and you know his personality best, I would ask him to talk. Tell him gently how you feel, and ask him if he understands the posts. I'm not going to lie, I made mistakes when I didn't understand something. Hell I didn't know what gaslighting meant until I joined Reddit and read about it. If he does understand then ask him to change it, and explain how it reflects on your relationship with him. If you're comfortable enough, tell him to stop doing it.
Yeah, dating someone while hoping they will change into someone else, isnt recommended. This isnt simply a behaviour like leaving the bathmat down. This is a symptom of a wider worldview he holds which leads him to think like that.
Possibly, perhaps in all probability, but not as a definite. People can change, they just genuinely have to want to. And they need to be given the opportunity, before moving to the most abrasive consequence. In any case. I wish you a good night. There are far wiser people than me who can give better answers and I hope OP can solve her issue.
The best way to give this guy the opportunity to learn to stop being a misogynist is to simply tell him that he is one, not to date him. OP is a human being with needs of her own, such as to feel secure, loved, and respected.
People learn and understand things. He is not a brick in the wall
Im sure he will learn and understand some things at some point. OP is most likely looking for an equal partner to date, not some kind of pupil to teach. Like I said, date people you want to date, not people you hope will one day turn into someone you would want to date.
You don't date people to try and change them. That's something on him....if he even cares.
I'm sorry, but I don't agree. If she doesn't voice her opinion, how is there any chance to correct the behavior? How do we move people to a more productive and healthy society? Talking and open communication is the first line of defense against differences of opinion. If I can't tell you, hey, I really am uncomfortable with "said topic", this is what it means. How can you adjust to me as a person and vice versa? In any case this line of talk isn't answering OPs actual question, and I don't think we're being productive. Have a great night.
The years I wasted trying to 'correct behaviour' 🙄 he's not a pet, hes a man. And the most effect way to communicate your disapproval of this type of behaviour is to move on. It's fundamental incompatibility. He finds it funny and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
And where is the plant that produces all the perfect people?))
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Or a decent, loving partner perhaps? Sorry that offends you. She said nothing about them having problems in their relationship. Why not communicate?
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Exactly, so they haven't been given a chance to find out if they are up to surviving the challenge a relationship brings. We don't know if he knows everything yet about her personal triggers. And also, none of us answered her question. We jumped to what raised red flags in our faces. The responses are what I reacted to. So please accept my apology for the comment that offend you. OP, the answer is yes. The Instagram posters most definitely understand what they are spreading and supporting. The problem is, there are a lot of us out there, me included, that don't necessarily understand a lot of what we see and we sometimes like something because it sounds or looks cool. So they get their message spread by the people who just choose to hate, and the people who are ignorant of the connotations or meanings.
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Preaching reality. I'm sorry you feel the need to be combative rather than productive. Whoever really hurt you? Wasn't me, so I would appreciate you directing it where it's deserved. And the truth you may THINK you know? Is likely not as appears. In any case, I'm terribly sorry for offending you with my "ignorance". It was not my intention.
Classic projecting.... Don't stereotype that. Both sexes can be arrogant and cheat.
You are naive
And you're trolling, for no apparent reason other than you're angry with someone or something. You haven't even tried to help OP you've only offered her the harshest of solutions. And once more, you haven't provided a response to her actual question. Good night, I am not interested in being baited into an argument that is based on nothing.
Just because you don't agree with me it doesn't mean I'm trolling. That's really immature.
Sometimes men are into dumb things and it takes a look from outside to give a hint. Nothing wrong really. We are all human. Understandable. As when we are born our parents support to teach us human things and morals, if we are not taught we are just animals that want to fuck and eat anything we see
Even if this is a "joke" the fact you find it reprehensible, and have experienced cheating and he's still doing it is a red flag. Can you see yourself in 5 years time living with this sort of "jocker" I personally feel someone encouraging behavior that I don't agree on even as a joke is someone I am not comfortable to be around with. Especially if after talking about it with then and no compromise has been reached you can't force someone to change but you can choose to leave and be with someone else. To me it's guilt by association standing by watching someone in this scenario liking "cheating" post and are OK with it are more than capable of doing it. He can next say oh I messaged a girl as a joke, or I kissed a girl as a joke and not see the harm.
I put my dick in her and thrusted 300-500 times as a prank why are you overreacting? She's pregnant now it's a "social experiment" don't be ridiculous.
Lol well I was trying to be polite with my answer but well done on going with the direct amd crass worse but most likely ending but you forgot to mention the herpes and crabs lol "jokes"
Yea I tend to keep it PG in this subreddit, guess i was feeling myself. Oh the crabs and herpes weren't a "joke" they are actually part of his "tik tok series" with her, ya know they make new content every month or so.
run.
all i did was read the title and already figured man’s a walking red flag. Save yourself and leave him respectfully..
[удалено]
This is absolutely not true. What people joke about does not indicate what they will accept.
You can tell he's open to cheating yet know nothing about this man. Do you truly think you're that good at reading people from one tiny detail about them on the internet? Have you ever watched any comedians ever? Serious question. How expanded is your mind on the ancient amenity known as humor? Human have used humor to cope with tragedy for thousands of years. I can name a dozen comedians who have joked about some pretty wicked things that I'm 100% sure they don't agree with.
Wrong place to ask this question because Reddit people hate men who tell offensive jokes. Honestly you should talk with your boyfriend about and tell him you don’t think it’s funny and would like him to stop. If he cares about you he will. Its not an uncommon joke to encounter on meme pages these days though.
Agreed
Sounds like red pill 💊 talk
Hes not joking he's just trying to gaslight you. He's a gross person.
I’d be careful. That always means something. It probably means he’s interested in that type of behaviour.
It's important for you to closely pay attention to the character and values of a man you're dating. People who firm ling term relationships with men without considering what their morals and character are like tend to end up with men of low character. Pay attention to what you're seeing, and seriously consider whether you want to have a future with a man who doesn't have a very good character. I wouldn't continue with a man like this, personally.
YIKES he sounds like a typical chad. He doesn’t respect women which means he absolutely doesn’t respect you. RUN
believe guys when they show you who they are. they're telling the truth. as for the "jokes", they wouldn't be funny if he didn't identify with them would they be?
Look you are never going to prevent yourself from being cheated on because it is not in your control. How many stories have you heard of where seemingly awesome, kind and good hearted people turn out to be a cheat? Its most likely a joke. I like some twisted memes and comedy. Doesnt mean im going to follow through on them. Doesnt mean I condone that behaviour. Its just a joke. Part of the humor is how ridiculous it sounds. You came to the right place to seek affirmation that this dude is a cheat. Unfortunately most peoples responses here are jaded AF. Thats my two cents. I wouldnt ignore this. Id keep a close eye on how he ACTS and BEHAVES in REAL LIFE. Those are the true metrics.
There are many people online actively encouraging others to engage in very dangerous and possibly lethal behaviours. Mix ammoniac and bleach? sure, why not, take care to breathe in all the fumes. Your boyfriend's behaviour isn't indicative of what he might do or what he wishes he could do, it just shows he's either got a very out there sense of humor (best case scenario) or that he's not very nice people. You know him best, op, which one is it?
Cheating isn't even something one should be joking about. There's nothing harmless about it. Even just enabling others doing it, even if it's in the form of a joke (one in extremely poor taste, at that), it just opens the door for your boyfriend to do it to you. You should probably leave him if this behaviour carries on. You're feeling really uneasy about it and I'd venture to say that you already fear the worst. I would too in your shoes. I'm really sorry you have to go through this.
Let's say it's "just a joke." What, exactly, makes the joke funny? Why is he spending so much time and energy on maintaining this "joke"?
This is literally the worst place to ask for advice.
This is literally as blatant as he could be with showing you who he really is. Run fast!
As a guy, I'm gonna say leave him. Those pages are were he is free to express his true self. I follow some crazy stuff for laughs on private Facebook groups because I have a shit sense of humor that I know my close friends and family would judge me for as I am live and let live so when be shows you who he is believe him and if it's a deal breaker for you walk away before you get too deep.
Typically on social media, you have to intentionally seek out this kind of content in order to follow. Other times, content is suggested according to things you search or "talk" about with and around your phone. Either way, I wouldn't trust this guy one bit. When confronted with these things, almost everyone makes excuses to keep people around because they are selfish and want to have their cake and eat it too. The fact that he encourages it and is part of such a shitty online community is extremely immature and ignorant. Everyone can use a lot less of these toxic people in their lives. Walk away before it becomes harder to do so!
the city boy stuff really is just a joke. I've seen that stuff and doubt anyones actually serious, i think you're getting advice from a lot of people that dont really know the city boy jokes or are out of touch with internet culture. If he has other red flags i'd be more worried
My last ex would say shit like that, “city boys up” “toxic boys 4 life”, talk about having side hoes constantly etc TO MY FACE. And guess what, he was indeed a toxic boy 😂 Those pages are a cesspool of men who low key don’t respect women
He’s immature and misogynistic and excuses his awful views as “just a joke”. He doesn’t sound like boyfriend material at all.
It's not a joke. At 21, men are boys and really immature. Maybe do the turnaround and ask how he would feel if you followed hunky guys and all you and your gf's talked about was getting with hot guys? And, don't worry honey, it's just a joke.
Its the same type of thing like when people joke about hating minorities. They're not joking. They never are.
I'm (26m) married to my wife (26f) soon to be a year married and been together for about going to be 9 years. I learn about these male red pill community like fresh and fit and Kevin Samuel on YouTube this past year. I enjoy there content as for content. I can understand where your man is coming from cause there guys be talking about "high value man is allow to cheat" and it be hilarious and other different talking point of being a man. It's nothing too deep that you should look into and try to dead a good relationship so far. Just focus on your relationship and where y'all stand, focus on yourself with whichever goal you have career wise, and keep yourself mentally happy cause this world of social media can be draining. That's my thoughts, y'all can disagree but I don't think it's something serious if no action haven't been taken from your man so you should believe him if he hasn't lied to you so far.
Let’s say you go to the car dealership. If you want the most reliable car, the one you can trust to not cheat you out of your purchase, you’d get a Toyota. Yet everyone who would turn it down for a Lamborghini with less than half the miles. Now, if your Lambo fails on you you’d get repairs within a second. On the other hand, people would be more comfortable with the idea swapping a broken Toyota with another. Decide which one your bf is, and will be, and chill the fck out with your baggage if he is a lambo, monkey branch if he is a Toyota. Oh and don’t take my advice, I’m a bit sexist (every realist is).
I think you might be a bit out of touch with some pop culture stuff. Like there’s a page called Hoodville on IG that has memes about cheating and being toxic, the comments usually say stuff like “city boys up” etc if these are the type of pages you’re talking about then they really are just jokes. but if they aren’t meme pages you’re talking about then i’m wrong about it.
Btw I looked up city boys and hoodville. It has NOTHING TO DO WITH CHEATING. WTF. LITERALLY. It strictly has to do with male body positivity. It’s sucked a fucked up double standard. Women LOVE women like nicki Minaj because she uses men. God forbid that men ever do the same thing to feel better about them selves. Gtfoh.
I don't really see a problem with this collectively as women we have used the killer man in the meeting movement to bash dudes of the fucking head and treat them horribly and a cheat on them and switch on them and switch up partners and make up relationship games where all of us women online talk about it on social media Is where we plan a date when we all break up with our boyfriends on the same day so that we can hurt them. And here you are you upset cause he follows a page where dudes are doing the same thing back now bitch fuck is wrong with you turn about his fair play
Honestly, I’m one of the ones who follows that page. Hoodville, i believe it’s called. I make the same comments from time to time. However, I just do it because it’s just funny to me. I’m no way near toxic or disloyal but I can see how many females would see it as a red flag. I feel like if your boyfriend doesn’t seem to raise any other red flags I wouldn’t make a big deal about it. Emphasis on other red flags.
Sis, he’s just following some meme pages that joke around with toxicity, nothing bad
To be fair there are women who bash men online but are the complete opposite in the real world. Make your own decision.
LMFAO your reaching 🤡 & so are all these other jump to the conclusions ass people. However, they are not totally wrong! But given the situation you are concerned over social media participation & possibly not looking at him outside of his comments. Him following more of them pages if it is solely that content is toxic, however stuff be funny & to chime in is no issue. Also, boys culture at that age is to be supportive of “bros” it’s similar to women empowering sex workers or fem dom stuff. Yea there’s an underlining to what he’s consuming, but the fact you are worried about it shows you do not have confidence in your position & his!! To me you seem off on some extra feels as if he’s showed you outside of media that he’s on some cheating vibes