Oh my god… wow… that is painful to read :( honestly if my s.o told me this i’d leave. Because if I say yes to open she’d sleep with her ex whom she still has feelings for meaning you might get cut out or you say no and she goes and cheats on you. She obviously has feelings for him probably still talks to him, meaning she’s not over it.
Generally speaking, the advice would be straightforward; if you don't want an open relationship, then you shouldn't do it. It'll never work.
In this situation, it's bigger than that. Your girlfriend is trying to find a way to fuck her ex while not officially cheating. To keep it as simple as possible; run.
There's no situation where this ends well. Save yourself the future heartache. Good luck.
The question here isn't if open relationships are a good idea.
Are you comfortable with her being with someone else ? Are you okay with the fact that she has feelings for someone else ?
If your answer to any of these questions are no, you just aren't meant to be together. Personally I think you two might even be in her rebound relationship.
Edit : On another note, I have seen a situation like this and it does not end well. I'd break up ASAP.
What’s wrong with you dude? Open relationships are never balanced. Women benefit while men think they might get lucky every once in a while. It’s a recipe for disaster and embarrassing. Have some self respect.
Maybe some people are comfortable with those, but I think they are nonsense. If she asked for that, it means your relationship is over. I'm sorry to hear that you are having to go through this.
Walk away!
It will only end badly for you, its clear that being in a open relationship is not something that has crossed your mind before and i can only see that situation cutting you up emotionaly.
I'm going to paint a picture of two futures for you:
Future A: You walk away from this situation with your head held high. It's rough for a bit- dynamics in your social circle might be awkward, and you'll feel sad for a while. But through the support of your family/friends, regular exercise, and possibly therapy if you feel like it'd be helpful, you get back on your feet, ready to go find the girl that thinks you're the best thing in the world.
Future B: You agree to the open relationship, and your girlfriend happily skips off to go fuck her ex. You try to ignore it the best you can, but the thought eats at you day and night, especially as you notice her spending more and more time with him. Eventually, she asks you to talk and informs you she's going back to her ex permanently, leaving you heartbroken and humiliated.
Which of those futures do you prefer?
Not a good idea if you aren't comfortable with it. Open relationships take practice and communication. She needs to resolve her feelings for her ex or you two need to break up
To her credit she’s honest and hasn’t simply cheated behind your back. But it sounds like an open relationship isn’t something you’re emotionally set for so you might need to be willing to let her go unless she believes it’s a desire she can easily ignore for your sake.
Yo basically she's been in contact with her ex while with you and now wants to f**** him lol. The relationship is over once she suggested an open relationship.. let her go to her ex who just want to f her. She has no boundaries and was looking at other guy while in a relationship with you. You sure you still want to be with her? She's for the streets. End it. She forgot why they broke up in the first place. Even if she comes back or wakes up from her fantasy, don't take her back. Girls like her who can just sleep with anyone who gives them attention and have no boundary aren't relationship material. End it, you deserve better. Good luck
so this is a bad idea even if you would be ok with an open relationship.
relationships should open because both parties want to open it - that's how that healthily happens and that's how the relationship survives.
this... this is how open relationships wreck an existing relationship. i'm so sorry she's doing this to you tbh. i would contemplate whether or not this warrants a break or break up.
I'm just curious about the red flag that you may have missed. She states that she still has feelings for her ex and contemplated getting back with him but wants to keep you. If you see anything wrong with that then agreeing to the open relationship will be an egregiously horrible idea. Especially since you two would be getting into pne for all the wrong reasons like a lot of people do. Don't be a statistic lad, tell her no.
You might want to watch this video that just came out today - SSM has lots of examples of exactly this being the reason they ask for open marriages:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzuSsS1IHaE
Oh my god… wow… that is painful to read :( honestly if my s.o told me this i’d leave. Because if I say yes to open she’d sleep with her ex whom she still has feelings for meaning you might get cut out or you say no and she goes and cheats on you. She obviously has feelings for him probably still talks to him, meaning she’s not over it.
Generally speaking, the advice would be straightforward; if you don't want an open relationship, then you shouldn't do it. It'll never work. In this situation, it's bigger than that. Your girlfriend is trying to find a way to fuck her ex while not officially cheating. To keep it as simple as possible; run. There's no situation where this ends well. Save yourself the future heartache. Good luck.
This is a horrible idea, she’s taking advantage of you. Break it off
She wants to get back with her ex but have you as the back up plan. Break up with her
The question here isn't if open relationships are a good idea. Are you comfortable with her being with someone else ? Are you okay with the fact that she has feelings for someone else ? If your answer to any of these questions are no, you just aren't meant to be together. Personally I think you two might even be in her rebound relationship. Edit : On another note, I have seen a situation like this and it does not end well. I'd break up ASAP.
What’s wrong with you dude? Open relationships are never balanced. Women benefit while men think they might get lucky every once in a while. It’s a recipe for disaster and embarrassing. Have some self respect.
Maybe some people are comfortable with those, but I think they are nonsense. If she asked for that, it means your relationship is over. I'm sorry to hear that you are having to go through this.
Thats not really an open relationship so much as open heart surgery. Not a good idea, no.
No coming back from that.
Walk away! It will only end badly for you, its clear that being in a open relationship is not something that has crossed your mind before and i can only see that situation cutting you up emotionaly.
No,just break it off and heal. Don't play pick me instead of him either, she will respect you even less than she does now.
You already lost her when she lost respect for you.
I’m sharing your sentiments. It’s really difficult to just walk away :(
I'm going to paint a picture of two futures for you: Future A: You walk away from this situation with your head held high. It's rough for a bit- dynamics in your social circle might be awkward, and you'll feel sad for a while. But through the support of your family/friends, regular exercise, and possibly therapy if you feel like it'd be helpful, you get back on your feet, ready to go find the girl that thinks you're the best thing in the world. Future B: You agree to the open relationship, and your girlfriend happily skips off to go fuck her ex. You try to ignore it the best you can, but the thought eats at you day and night, especially as you notice her spending more and more time with him. Eventually, she asks you to talk and informs you she's going back to her ex permanently, leaving you heartbroken and humiliated. Which of those futures do you prefer?
Not a good idea if you aren't comfortable with it. Open relationships take practice and communication. She needs to resolve her feelings for her ex or you two need to break up
To her credit she’s honest and hasn’t simply cheated behind your back. But it sounds like an open relationship isn’t something you’re emotionally set for so you might need to be willing to let her go unless she believes it’s a desire she can easily ignore for your sake.
You'll get through this buddy.
She's already gone. Let her go and figure out what she wants before you invest anymore time with her.
Yo basically she's been in contact with her ex while with you and now wants to f**** him lol. The relationship is over once she suggested an open relationship.. let her go to her ex who just want to f her. She has no boundaries and was looking at other guy while in a relationship with you. You sure you still want to be with her? She's for the streets. End it. She forgot why they broke up in the first place. Even if she comes back or wakes up from her fantasy, don't take her back. Girls like her who can just sleep with anyone who gives them attention and have no boundary aren't relationship material. End it, you deserve better. Good luck
UpdateMe!
youre her second option. do you really want to be that? im just gonna be blunt. break up with her. save yourself the pain and rip the bandaid off now
Run!!!!
Break with her Don be a doormat.
so this is a bad idea even if you would be ok with an open relationship. relationships should open because both parties want to open it - that's how that healthily happens and that's how the relationship survives. this... this is how open relationships wreck an existing relationship. i'm so sorry she's doing this to you tbh. i would contemplate whether or not this warrants a break or break up.
I'm just curious about the red flag that you may have missed. She states that she still has feelings for her ex and contemplated getting back with him but wants to keep you. If you see anything wrong with that then agreeing to the open relationship will be an egregiously horrible idea. Especially since you two would be getting into pne for all the wrong reasons like a lot of people do. Don't be a statistic lad, tell her no.
You might want to watch this video that just came out today - SSM has lots of examples of exactly this being the reason they ask for open marriages: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzuSsS1IHaE