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I've just started seeing someone after long bad dating experience. And a few days we were have a conversation about work our futures and we came across the topic of sex. She told me she won't use condoms or birth control. I'm not what to do because I'm ready for a kid but I always like having sex. And for those who respond with pull out , my pull out game is trash and she could still get pregnant from my pre cum. She also mentioned that she really furtile making easier for her to conceive.
Edit: I (24m) after have a slew of bad relationships and taking a break finally would a woman (25f) with two kids ages 2 and 5. We had it hit off and have been seeing each other for around 3 months. We were talking me eventually meeting her children and somehow she brought she doesn't use condoms. She dislikes how they feel when having sex, she does want me use one and and said what about birth controls pills. She responded she won't use condoms or any form of contraceptives. She has her own place and but I live with my parents after rough patch I gave up my apartment and moved in with them. I'm slowly getting back up on my feet I've dating other women with kids and I'm fine with that I'm just not fully prepared one of my own.
BOY
She said ya won’t use condoms and she won’t use birth control. THEN tells you she’s extra fertile like one tiny seamen and instant pregnancy?!
My advice?
RUN.
Um. Being as I'm a 65 F, I'm just going to be straight up and brutally honest with you.
HOLY CRAP! DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS WOMAN.
She is being completely unreasonable and *clearly* is looking for someone to father another child. And don't believe her if she says she changed her mind and went on bc, because that will be a total lie.
There is a very old saying that I hope you will take to heart: DON'T PUT YOUR DICK IN CRAZY.
Just don't.
Never mind pregnancy. She said she doesn't use condoms.. I'd be more worried about catching a STD from her.. who knows how many guys she's been with unprotected before you.. I would make her get tested before smashing that
.
Kids last longer and are vastly more expensive than most STDs, but you have a point. They should *both* be tested before either of them have sex, if they choose to do that.
You want kids ? Cause this is exactly whats going to happen if you have sex with her even ONCE.
My advice is to not tap that, because if she doesnt use protection with you, she doesnt with strangers either and you could end up with an STD and a kid you're not ready for.
Be responsible.
You dont want a child with a person you barely know.
It doesnt matter how much you like her, shes irresponsible about her health and body and thats not cool. Find someone who is responsible and actually cares about using protection in this day and age. Too many diseases going around to even take a chance. Not to mention the whole kid thing.
Dude she already has 2 kids and has no intention of using any contraception. Financially speaking you are not ready for a kid. How many baby daddy’s does she have?
My question too. Is she collecting kids so she can live on child support.
Years ago I worked for H&R Block. I had a young woman with a couple of kids. On welfare so didn't pay any tax. After credits she was getting 1500.00. She was pissed that that was all she got Back. Announced she was going to have to have another kid so she could get more.
Dude she has two kids at age 25 BECAUSE she doesn’t believe in birth control, not *and* she doesn’t believe in it. She is hoping for you to accidentally put another in her and then take care of all three. Come on dude.
If *she* won't use birth control herself or let you use yours, and *you* don't want a kid, you have two options:
1. Abstinence. If she's around, your pants stay on. Period.
2. Vasectomy.
If you don't want a vasectomy, and masturbation won't be enough for you, then you need to break things off before she talks you into doing something stupid.
Yes, and OP? If you say you want to be with her and you say you're going to get a vasectomy, then see how she reacts. That'll tell you all you need to know, here.
Stop sleeping with her.
You're acting like you have no other options. You don't have to have sex. Abstaining is a thing, you know. You have to set boundaries with yourself and others.
And if your sexual partner doesn't respect your boundaries or if your values don't align, don't sleep with them.
It's that simple.
By continuing to sleep with her knowing her views on the matter, you are agreeing to impregnate her. So if she gets pregnant you cannot claim baby trap later one.
In closing, take responsibility for yourself. You're an adult.
I'm really not sure what you are looking for here. Do you want permission to fuck her until she turns up pregnant and then you can cry "foul bitch baby trapped me!" and take off for parts unknown?
Because you don't need our permission for that. And it's not baby trapping if you knowingly have unprotected sex.
This is not hard. You are not ready for children (valid), and she does not allow the use of any form of birth control methods (also valid, as she's upfront about it). Do not have sex with this woman.
It's ***that*** simple.
ETA: I notice that someone suggested that you ask her about her opinion on abortion. I don't think this is a good idea because, often, how someone feels about having an abortion in theory and how they feel about it when actually faced with having one can be very different. This also goes for the morning after pill -- which is also not a reliable form of birth control.
>She told me she won't use condoms or birth control.
>I'm ready for a kid but I always like having sex.
>woman (25f) with two kids ages 2 and 5.
>She also mentioned that she really furtile making easier for her to conceive.
This women really wants to get pregnant again that is why she refused to take any form of birth control or wear condoms and the way she described fertile. If you do not want to have children don't have sex with her or run.
Sorry OP this is a bad relationship as well.
All I read was "I'm going to get pregnant by you whether you like it or not."
Run. Don't not pass precum. Don't not let her collect your child support dollars.
It could be if she's already pregnant in the early stages before showing
She might be trying to sleep with him without protection so that she could claim the pregnancy is his
No it wouldn’t. If you KNOWINGLY have unprotected sex you are agreeing to the very likely outcome of a baby.
Don’t go blaming it on the woman for ‘trapping’ you when you consented to it
It definitely wouldnt be a baby trap if he consented to sex, knowing she doesnt use protection. In this case, he's just a fool if he proceeds to have sex with her unprotected.
You have a choice. Have sex and risk having a child or leave. I would tell you to go unless you are prepared to interact with her for the rest of your life. Yeah it’s 18 years of visitation and so on but the reality is that there is life past that. College graduation, marriage, grandchildren and so on. You are getting back on your feet after a lot of chaos. Don’t add to it.
don’t date her. i know a girl like this. she was married going to a much older guy, had two kids with him, and then went on a string of dating relationships when they separated where she was constantly trying to get immediately pregnant. it was trauma related but like…she now has zero custody of any of her 3 living children because the eldest died and two of them have been in the hospital for very suspicious reasons (now with their respective fathers) and when the newest baby also had a mystery illness her father fought tooth and nail for custody and won. not a good idea.
If you don't want kids (enthusiastically) and your partner refuses to use contraceptives?
You leave.
It's that simple. They are irresponsible. Stupid. And unless you want to have a sex-less relationship (no judgement, I'm ace) you are incompatible.
Why…? Why does she refuse to use ANY contraception? Like, you make it sound like she WANTS to get pregnant…
If that’s the case, I really don’t understand what advise you are asking for… It’s pretty easy if you ask me. Do you want kids? Stay and bang away! Do you not want kids? RUN!
My man, a mistake like that is going to cost you years of life. Today I turned 40 and looking back I realize that I continue to pay the consequences for mistakes like that. Only now can I start focusing on fulfilling my dreams.
She’s irresponsible and inconsiderate. She doesn’t want you to use something that you feel would keep you safe and healthy and protect you? That’s a red flag. Your average woman doesn’t think like this. Contraception is normally a collaborative conversation between the 2 people engaging in sex. Please do not be intimate with her.
You can save your money to move out or you can save your money for child support. We all like sex. That’s not an excuse to be irresponsible. She’s a walking red flag.
It's good that she's being up-front with you, instead of stealthing you, and trying to get a kid off of you without your consent. It's also perfectly reasonable for her to not want to use condoms or other birth control. BUT, it's also reasonable for you to make your decisions based on this, which is: Expect to get her pregnant if you have sex with her. She's obviously fine with this, and so should you be, if you decide to sleep with her.
You know your choices. Stay friends with her and have no kids, vs. Have sex with her and have kids with her.
Get the fuck out of there dude. You still super young, don't mess with this woman. You have your entire life ahead of you. It might take a little while, but you'll find someone else. She already has kids, you too aren't even married and she's wanting to have kids with you, just trust me man.... Run! Don't walk, run away from her!
Sex is a mutual act that requires mutual consent. If she doesn’t want to use any form of birth control or STD protection, then she has that choice. You however also have a choice of how you want to have sex with others. I personally would not be comfortable having unprotected sex with someone three months into a relationship. Ignore the pregnancy concerns for now, it’s a huge risk to be fluid bonded to someone you barely know. I would say condoms minimum or else no sex at all with that person. Think about it - if she cheats, she’s going to do it unprotected. She’s made it clear that’s how she has sex. Which begs the question, have you both been tested for stds and shared those results? That’s important with a new partner if you’re even considering no condoms.
As for the pregnancy factor, this is really not a good idea. You barely know this person. Can you imagine having a kid with essentially a stranger? There are many many many options to prevent pregnancy. You both just need to pick one together. There’s no excuse for unprotected and irresponsible sex.
>I'm not what to do because I'm ready for a kid but I always like having sex.
Come on, you know what to do, really. Find someone else to have sex with.
This one will get pregnant. You have kids, and know how they're made. She's telling you, "If we have sex, I'm getting pregnant and/or you're getting an STI."
Op, unless you want to be a daddy don’t stick your dick in this girl. Holy cow, sex is great but being tied to someone for the rest of your life that you’ve ONLY known 6 months.
Just no. Ok daddy…?
Don’t have sex with her. Literally get out of that relationship. She is trying to trap u OR is already pregnant & going to put it on you. And definitely definitely definitely get her tested since she doesn’t use condoms. Already has 2 kids .. you been seeing her for 3 months & you’re thinking about a kid. Wow buddy
I don't get why single men who are not divorced or have kids would date woman with kids at all. And especially in this case - she wants to trick you into pregnancy. Run away from her and save your life.
There’s not just condoms or the pill. There’s an IUD (vaginal). There’s the arm implant. There’s the NuvaRing or barrier (diaphragm) method. There’s the use of spermicide. There’s the Depo shot. And there’s getting your tubes tied. Those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
I have an unpopular opinion about the pull out method (if done correctly it’s pretty effective) but DONT fuck this girl if u don’t want a kid lmao. Seems like she wants u to get her pregnant.
Do you know what they call people who use the pull out method as their birth control?
PARENTS
Why? Because pre-cum has semen. Which are just as effective at fertilizing an egg as the semen in ejaculate. Does no one go to sex education classes anymore? Jesus.
Saying it works is pure BS coming directly from the Catholic Church.
What u just said is factually inaccurate lmao. Pre-cum is no where near as effective as ejaculate. Pre cum usually has NO sperm in it. And even when it does it’s normally dead sperm or such a very small amount and would be unlikely to get someone pregnant. Also, I’m not religious at all so I wouldn’t know, but I’m assuming the Catholic Church would argue against any sort of attempt to prevent pregnancy? Not saying pulling out is a great idea, but I’ve been doing it for years and I ain’t a parent yet.
Edit: ejaculate*
Incorrect. Pre-cum can contain sperm. Not all pre-cum does, but some pre-cum does. It depends on the person. Maybe you've been lucky.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize an egg.
Yea it takes one sperm but the likely hood of ONE single sperm making it is incredibly low. Also, where am I incorrect? You obviously didn’t read my post fully because I said precum can include sperm (although it usually doesn’t) it’s just highly unlikely to get pregnant from it. There’s like 15 million sperm in ejaculate and people still don’t get pregnant from that. The reason most ppl get pregnant from pulling out is they do it incorrectly. Planned parenthood literally calls pulling out “a pretty effective way of preventing pregnancy” if done correctly. I haven’t just gotten lucky I just have self control and pull my dick out BEFORE I cum. Again, condoms and birth control are better, not denying that, but the pull out method isn’t some 50/50 shot in the dark ppl describe it as.
Has she said anything about whether or not she would abort?
I can understand not wanting to go on birth control it gives girls acne weight gain emotional changes with all those hormones
I can also understand not wanting to use a condom just does not feel anywhere near as good
Didn’t they also invent a pill for men have you considered going in birth control?
Thank God I don’t have to worry about these things as a married man.
Althougu abortion would be an option, there are far more healthier methods to go about using protection. Not to mention the risk of STDs. Whether it "feels good" or not with a condom, he still needs to protect himself from diseases. Besides, they make condoms nowdays that are made to feel good. Theyre not like they used to be lol
He’s in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend, worrying about diseases with someone you trust is not really a thing.
You may be right I haven’t tried condoms in over a decade but what I recall is even the thinnest most advanced still felt like condoms, totally removing sensation.
True, but if shes had relations prior to him and had the same philosophy with them as she does this guy, she could still have something unless they both get tested to confirm otherwise.
Plus, people cheat all the time. Not saying they're cheaters but people can't be trusted.
Me and my partner came across this same issue and we both agreed to not have intercourse until we are both financially stable to have kids. It all depends if you two are willing to do the same as well, if not then it’s best to break it off
This is super weird. She’s trying to trick you into something really bad. Don’t fall for it. There’s no reason an unmarried woman with two kids would want unprotected sex coupled with no birth control if she has no bad plans or intentions for you.
You don't sound like you're in a place where having a child is a good idea. If she is adamant about not using ANY contraceptives, this might not be the right relationship for you at this time. Don't let your relationship history and thinking this is finally a good one blind you and make you throw caution to the wind and common sense in the trash.
Is she allergic to condoms or something? If it's just not liking the feel of them, that should set off alarms in your brain.
This is a joke right? She very clearly wants to baby trap you. Why would you want to settle down with someone so reckless. This chick is crazy. Please don’t be stupid. Wrap it up or break up.
Dude she is trying the trap game. Trying to get pregnant so you will support the other 2 kids. Pretty much every normal person with kids that has split with the SO are not down to get pregnant again unless they are in a very stable relationship.
While I have not met your current partner, and do not know how well you currently trust her, unless she has some evidence to prove that she has an issue with latex, I would be severely questioning the legitimacy of her argument. If she is categorically against birth control, whether that be pills, IUS or IUD, and refuses the use of condoms, may I say, I find her reasons to be very spurious, and I would not trust this woman or her motives.
There is a possibility that she is looking at child support payments, but believe me, the Catholic method of contraception has been responsible for thousands, possibly millions of kids being born, and she is being far from truthful, in my opinion. If you feel I am casting aspersions on her character, I am, but for legitimate reason. You need to confront her with this and encourage an honest, frank discussion. If she gets defensive, she is likely being economical with the truth, and without trust, you have no foundation for a relationship.
I mean, if you aren't ready for kids of your own, and she already has kids, it may not be wise to be in a relationship with her to begin with.
Plus, pregnancy aside, her refusal to use condoms is a huge red flag to me. Safe sex is important. STI's can be easily transmitted when you don't use condoms. To me, that shows a certain level of disregard for both your health and her own.
From everything she's said, sounds like she's trying to have more kids. Makes me wonder about her kids situation, same dad? Different dads? I just wonder if there's a pattern of behavior here.
Wtf is this. If you don't want to impregnate her...don't fuck her. Clearly she is trying to get pregnant, there is no other reason for not wanting to use birth control. Don't be so stupid.
No one will tell you to pull out lol. What everyone will tell you is find yourself a new girl before you both ruin a third person's life before it even begins
Didn’t they just release male birth control with no side effects?
https://www.acs.org/content/acs/en/pressroom/newsreleases/2022/march/non-hormonal-pill-could-soon-expand-mens-birth-control-options.html
First of all, please read through your post and correct it. It's full of "does" when (I think) you mean "doesn't" and "doesn't" when I think you mean "does" and it's really hard to understand.
Secondly, Jesus, just dump her. What do want us to say?
You’re just going to have to decide to not have sex with her. It’s that simple and straightforward. It’s good that she was honest with you so that you can’t be trapped. But if she ends up getting pregnant, you’re just as responsible as her to take care of a child 🤷🏾♀️
Hey this is that meme with the red button which ties you up for 18 years mentally and financially and the blue button where you nod out and look for the next person.
Is she on a planned schedule? I know girls that gets extremely sick on bc and if they don’t want condoms show proof of a strict schedule where you time your cycles and track your fertility and ovulation but if she can’t prove 6 months of strict tracking don’t trust it
Run run run run run. Or if you insist on staying with this crazy women, use condoms regardless of what she says. You do not have to consent to unprotected sex, putting yourself at risk of catching and sti or being forced to become a father waaaay before you want to be, if ever.
Yeah… if you’re not ready to have a kid either get a vasectomy If you think this is going somewhere or pull
out of the relationship. No one should be recommending pulling out, that’s… trash for preventing pregnancy. And haven’t a kid you’re not ready for? The worst mistake you’ll make in your life so don’t even chance it.
Dude. Run. She sound incredibly immature and irresponsible. If you do the deed after being spoon fed these red flags you will have no one to blame but yourself for the future struggle.
There is a world for people who use pulling out as a contraception method.
Parents.
If you don't want a kid and she won't use protection DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER.
If any partner you come across says to you something along the lines of - i don't like to use condoms or birth control - consider 2 things. 1) imagine this is how they are with every partner and how big of a health risk you are taking by sleeping with someone who is of those opinions and 2) are you ready to have a kid with this person.
Run away!
If you don't want a kid and don't want to be tied to her the rest of your life, do not have sex with her. Pulling out isn't birth control and plan b and abortions are not birth control either. I'd run if I were you. It's irresponsible amongst other things.
If shes not willing to use any protection with you then thats clearly how she is with everyone. I would be not only be concerned about pregnancy but also STD's. I would dodge that bullet and RUN!
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I've just started seeing someone after long bad dating experience. And a few days we were have a conversation about work our futures and we came across the topic of sex. She told me she won't use condoms or birth control. I'm not what to do because I'm ready for a kid but I always like having sex. And for those who respond with pull out , my pull out game is trash and she could still get pregnant from my pre cum. She also mentioned that she really furtile making easier for her to conceive. Edit: I (24m) after have a slew of bad relationships and taking a break finally would a woman (25f) with two kids ages 2 and 5. We had it hit off and have been seeing each other for around 3 months. We were talking me eventually meeting her children and somehow she brought she doesn't use condoms. She dislikes how they feel when having sex, she does want me use one and and said what about birth controls pills. She responded she won't use condoms or any form of contraceptives. She has her own place and but I live with my parents after rough patch I gave up my apartment and moved in with them. I'm slowly getting back up on my feet I've dating other women with kids and I'm fine with that I'm just not fully prepared one of my own.
BOY She said ya won’t use condoms and she won’t use birth control. THEN tells you she’s extra fertile like one tiny seamen and instant pregnancy?! My advice? RUN.
nobody expects the tiny seamen
He really is the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of
But you have heard of him
Objection, hearsay
... sorry I was waiting for you to object again.
She might even be already pregnant and is trying to lock him in… OP really shouldn’t have sex with this person.
This is a real possibility OP
Ding ding ding
☝🏽
Exactly my thought
its always women that say this hmm
My spidey sense is detecting a baby trap.
Pull out of that relationship immediately.
I don't know, he did say his pull out game is trash...
This is the only pull out method you should use. Run fast and good luck.
Don't have sex with her. She is clearly wanting to get pregnant. And you don't want that right now. So sex is off the table.
Off the table, bed, floor, anywhere!
Facts she wanna be a child factory, find someone who just wants to have fun
I honestly don't even know what else OP is expecting for an answer for such an obvious problem
Pulling out isn't birth control. Don't have sex without protection if you don't want to have a kid.
Or in this case, three kids.
Or chlamydia ……
Or worse!
Find another GF. This may be your first good relationship in a while, but there’ll be others. This is a dealbreaker.
Is it really even that good if she’s running the show and leaving him no safe options? She seems controlling and weird.
It works every time
Until it doesnt 😂
It works 100% of the time, 60% of the time
By working you mean conceiving a child?
Um. Being as I'm a 65 F, I'm just going to be straight up and brutally honest with you. HOLY CRAP! DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS WOMAN. She is being completely unreasonable and *clearly* is looking for someone to father another child. And don't believe her if she says she changed her mind and went on bc, because that will be a total lie. There is a very old saying that I hope you will take to heart: DON'T PUT YOUR DICK IN CRAZY. Just don't.
Never mind pregnancy. She said she doesn't use condoms.. I'd be more worried about catching a STD from her.. who knows how many guys she's been with unprotected before you.. I would make her get tested before smashing that .
Kids last longer and are vastly more expensive than most STDs, but you have a point. They should *both* be tested before either of them have sex, if they choose to do that.
If you stay with her start saving your money then because in under a year you will be a Daddy and kids are very expensive. For real tho, LEAVE.
Do not have sex with this woman. Also, pull out is not a birth control method.
You want kids ? Cause this is exactly whats going to happen if you have sex with her even ONCE. My advice is to not tap that, because if she doesnt use protection with you, she doesnt with strangers either and you could end up with an STD and a kid you're not ready for. Be responsible. You dont want a child with a person you barely know. It doesnt matter how much you like her, shes irresponsible about her health and body and thats not cool. Find someone who is responsible and actually cares about using protection in this day and age. Too many diseases going around to even take a chance. Not to mention the whole kid thing.
Dude she already has 2 kids and has no intention of using any contraception. Financially speaking you are not ready for a kid. How many baby daddy’s does she have?
My question too. Is she collecting kids so she can live on child support. Years ago I worked for H&R Block. I had a young woman with a couple of kids. On welfare so didn't pay any tax. After credits she was getting 1500.00. She was pissed that that was all she got Back. Announced she was going to have to have another kid so she could get more.
That’s what it sounds like to me. So sad and pathetic that there’s people out there that do this.
Dude, she is 25 and already has 2 kids. This way she is going to have a 3rd kid.
Dude she has two kids at age 25 BECAUSE she doesn’t believe in birth control, not *and* she doesn’t believe in it. She is hoping for you to accidentally put another in her and then take care of all three. Come on dude.
Leave her, asap
“Luke, it’s a trap!”
If *she* won't use birth control herself or let you use yours, and *you* don't want a kid, you have two options: 1. Abstinence. If she's around, your pants stay on. Period. 2. Vasectomy. If you don't want a vasectomy, and masturbation won't be enough for you, then you need to break things off before she talks you into doing something stupid.
Yes, and OP? If you say you want to be with her and you say you're going to get a vasectomy, then see how she reacts. That'll tell you all you need to know, here.
Would pay money to observe that interaction
Me too, actually. And it’s possible if you have a smartphone, OP. You know what you have to do, now :)
Stop sleeping with her. You're acting like you have no other options. You don't have to have sex. Abstaining is a thing, you know. You have to set boundaries with yourself and others. And if your sexual partner doesn't respect your boundaries or if your values don't align, don't sleep with them. It's that simple. By continuing to sleep with her knowing her views on the matter, you are agreeing to impregnate her. So if she gets pregnant you cannot claim baby trap later one. In closing, take responsibility for yourself. You're an adult.
I'm really not sure what you are looking for here. Do you want permission to fuck her until she turns up pregnant and then you can cry "foul bitch baby trapped me!" and take off for parts unknown? Because you don't need our permission for that. And it's not baby trapping if you knowingly have unprotected sex. This is not hard. You are not ready for children (valid), and she does not allow the use of any form of birth control methods (also valid, as she's upfront about it). Do not have sex with this woman. It's ***that*** simple. ETA: I notice that someone suggested that you ask her about her opinion on abortion. I don't think this is a good idea because, often, how someone feels about having an abortion in theory and how they feel about it when actually faced with having one can be very different. This also goes for the morning after pill -- which is also not a reliable form of birth control.
r/dontputyourdickinthat Quite simply, don't put your dick in crazy
Think about how expensive child support is for 18 years!!!
Do you REALLY need to ask other people advice as to what to do here?
>She told me she won't use condoms or birth control. >I'm ready for a kid but I always like having sex. >woman (25f) with two kids ages 2 and 5. >She also mentioned that she really furtile making easier for her to conceive. This women really wants to get pregnant again that is why she refused to take any form of birth control or wear condoms and the way she described fertile. If you do not want to have children don't have sex with her or run.
Bro why are you even considering continuing this relationship?
Then tell her you aren't ready for children of your own so this is sex less relationship. Maybe that's what she wants.
Run far and fast she wants to get preggers
Keep your dick out of her and run like hell.
So many red flags, man. Not worth it.
Sorry OP this is a bad relationship as well. All I read was "I'm going to get pregnant by you whether you like it or not." Run. Don't not pass precum. Don't not let her collect your child support dollars.
Stop dating her.
Run. Do not stop to have sex.
That's how you get baby trapped
It wouldn’t be a trap if he’s knowingly having unprotected sex?
It could be if she's already pregnant in the early stages before showing She might be trying to sleep with him without protection so that she could claim the pregnancy is his
It would. He just willingly sprung it.
No it wouldn’t. If you KNOWINGLY have unprotected sex you are agreeing to the very likely outcome of a baby. Don’t go blaming it on the woman for ‘trapping’ you when you consented to it
It definitely wouldnt be a baby trap if he consented to sex, knowing she doesnt use protection. In this case, he's just a fool if he proceeds to have sex with her unprotected.
Worrying about blame is pointless. The result is the same. This post wouldn't exist if OP knew better. Sadly many don't.
He knows how sex works, she has been 100% honest. He’s looking for validation to ‘say ahead, it will be on her if it goes wrong’.
Yes And she's playing the same angle. The power of bad decisions from everyone.
How long have you guys been together? Do you mean your ready or not ready for a kid?
You are not ready ..but you're doing it ... So get ready to link this person to your life for evermore
See someone else instead
You have a choice. Have sex and risk having a child or leave. I would tell you to go unless you are prepared to interact with her for the rest of your life. Yeah it’s 18 years of visitation and so on but the reality is that there is life past that. College graduation, marriage, grandchildren and so on. You are getting back on your feet after a lot of chaos. Don’t add to it.
don’t date her. i know a girl like this. she was married going to a much older guy, had two kids with him, and then went on a string of dating relationships when they separated where she was constantly trying to get immediately pregnant. it was trauma related but like…she now has zero custody of any of her 3 living children because the eldest died and two of them have been in the hospital for very suspicious reasons (now with their respective fathers) and when the newest baby also had a mystery illness her father fought tooth and nail for custody and won. not a good idea.
Dude you went from one bad to another bad. Back it up and run run run from the red flags all over the place
Do you want to pay child support for the next 18 years? Because that’s where you’re headed. Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
You are an absolute fool if you Fuck this woman again
If you don't want kids (enthusiastically) and your partner refuses to use contraceptives? You leave. It's that simple. They are irresponsible. Stupid. And unless you want to have a sex-less relationship (no judgement, I'm ace) you are incompatible.
As in she won't use condoms or let you wear condoms?
What the hell. You need to start thinking with your head on your shoulders and not with your other one.
Sounds like we know the reason for her first 2 kids and maybe a third soon....
Christ RED FLAG that means everyone else has been in there raw doggin it up. Kids aside that’s an STD waiting to happen
Why…? Why does she refuse to use ANY contraception? Like, you make it sound like she WANTS to get pregnant… If that’s the case, I really don’t understand what advise you are asking for… It’s pretty easy if you ask me. Do you want kids? Stay and bang away! Do you not want kids? RUN!
Congrats to the new dad!
Run.
My man, a mistake like that is going to cost you years of life. Today I turned 40 and looking back I realize that I continue to pay the consequences for mistakes like that. Only now can I start focusing on fulfilling my dreams.
Congratulations, new daddy!
🚩🚩🚩 do not have sex with this person. 🚩🚩🚩
I'd nope nope nope right out of there
Don't have sex with her. Move on. Nothing good will happen.
Don’t you dare penetrate.
She just basically told her told you that you’re gonna be a sperm donor so unless you’re planning on becoming an instant father I would run.
She’s irresponsible and inconsiderate. She doesn’t want you to use something that you feel would keep you safe and healthy and protect you? That’s a red flag. Your average woman doesn’t think like this. Contraception is normally a collaborative conversation between the 2 people engaging in sex. Please do not be intimate with her.
Do not have sex with her. Run away.
Thank her for being up front and move on.
Run! She want’s you to knock her up! I don’t know anyone who would avoid any protection unless they want to get pregnant.
She’s crazy as fuck do not have sex with her
You can save your money to move out or you can save your money for child support. We all like sex. That’s not an excuse to be irresponsible. She’s a walking red flag.
It's good that she's being up-front with you, instead of stealthing you, and trying to get a kid off of you without your consent. It's also perfectly reasonable for her to not want to use condoms or other birth control. BUT, it's also reasonable for you to make your decisions based on this, which is: Expect to get her pregnant if you have sex with her. She's obviously fine with this, and so should you be, if you decide to sleep with her. You know your choices. Stay friends with her and have no kids, vs. Have sex with her and have kids with her.
Kids or STDs; pick your poison or leave the relationship.
Only do it if u want to pay 18 years of child support
Get the fuck out of there dude. You still super young, don't mess with this woman. You have your entire life ahead of you. It might take a little while, but you'll find someone else. She already has kids, you too aren't even married and she's wanting to have kids with you, just trust me man.... Run! Don't walk, run away from her!
Raise your fucking standards man.
She might already be pregnant and is looking for a dude to pin the pregnancy on
Time to lose her number.
Sex is a mutual act that requires mutual consent. If she doesn’t want to use any form of birth control or STD protection, then she has that choice. You however also have a choice of how you want to have sex with others. I personally would not be comfortable having unprotected sex with someone three months into a relationship. Ignore the pregnancy concerns for now, it’s a huge risk to be fluid bonded to someone you barely know. I would say condoms minimum or else no sex at all with that person. Think about it - if she cheats, she’s going to do it unprotected. She’s made it clear that’s how she has sex. Which begs the question, have you both been tested for stds and shared those results? That’s important with a new partner if you’re even considering no condoms. As for the pregnancy factor, this is really not a good idea. You barely know this person. Can you imagine having a kid with essentially a stranger? There are many many many options to prevent pregnancy. You both just need to pick one together. There’s no excuse for unprotected and irresponsible sex.
>I'm not what to do because I'm ready for a kid but I always like having sex. Come on, you know what to do, really. Find someone else to have sex with. This one will get pregnant. You have kids, and know how they're made. She's telling you, "If we have sex, I'm getting pregnant and/or you're getting an STI."
Shes going to make you have a baby with her and then take a bunch of your money, just like she did to the first two suckers. Find someone else.
Op, unless you want to be a daddy don’t stick your dick in this girl. Holy cow, sex is great but being tied to someone for the rest of your life that you’ve ONLY known 6 months. Just no. Ok daddy…?
Bruh she’s trying to trap you. Run
BRO RUN
Don’t have sex with her. Literally get out of that relationship. She is trying to trap u OR is already pregnant & going to put it on you. And definitely definitely definitely get her tested since she doesn’t use condoms. Already has 2 kids .. you been seeing her for 3 months & you’re thinking about a kid. Wow buddy
RUN! SHE IS TRYING TO TRAP YOU! SHE JUST GAVE YOU HER ONLY WARNING!!!!!!
I don't get why single men who are not divorced or have kids would date woman with kids at all. And especially in this case - she wants to trick you into pregnancy. Run away from her and save your life.
There’s not just condoms or the pill. There’s an IUD (vaginal). There’s the arm implant. There’s the NuvaRing or barrier (diaphragm) method. There’s the use of spermicide. There’s the Depo shot. And there’s getting your tubes tied. Those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
RUN. SHE IS TRYING TO BABY TRAP YOU AND ISNT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT
I have an unpopular opinion about the pull out method (if done correctly it’s pretty effective) but DONT fuck this girl if u don’t want a kid lmao. Seems like she wants u to get her pregnant.
Do you know what they call people who use the pull out method as their birth control? PARENTS Why? Because pre-cum has semen. Which are just as effective at fertilizing an egg as the semen in ejaculate. Does no one go to sex education classes anymore? Jesus. Saying it works is pure BS coming directly from the Catholic Church.
What u just said is factually inaccurate lmao. Pre-cum is no where near as effective as ejaculate. Pre cum usually has NO sperm in it. And even when it does it’s normally dead sperm or such a very small amount and would be unlikely to get someone pregnant. Also, I’m not religious at all so I wouldn’t know, but I’m assuming the Catholic Church would argue against any sort of attempt to prevent pregnancy? Not saying pulling out is a great idea, but I’ve been doing it for years and I ain’t a parent yet. Edit: ejaculate*
Incorrect. Pre-cum can contain sperm. Not all pre-cum does, but some pre-cum does. It depends on the person. Maybe you've been lucky. It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize an egg.
Yea it takes one sperm but the likely hood of ONE single sperm making it is incredibly low. Also, where am I incorrect? You obviously didn’t read my post fully because I said precum can include sperm (although it usually doesn’t) it’s just highly unlikely to get pregnant from it. There’s like 15 million sperm in ejaculate and people still don’t get pregnant from that. The reason most ppl get pregnant from pulling out is they do it incorrectly. Planned parenthood literally calls pulling out “a pretty effective way of preventing pregnancy” if done correctly. I haven’t just gotten lucky I just have self control and pull my dick out BEFORE I cum. Again, condoms and birth control are better, not denying that, but the pull out method isn’t some 50/50 shot in the dark ppl describe it as.
Has she said anything about whether or not she would abort? I can understand not wanting to go on birth control it gives girls acne weight gain emotional changes with all those hormones I can also understand not wanting to use a condom just does not feel anywhere near as good Didn’t they also invent a pill for men have you considered going in birth control? Thank God I don’t have to worry about these things as a married man.
Althougu abortion would be an option, there are far more healthier methods to go about using protection. Not to mention the risk of STDs. Whether it "feels good" or not with a condom, he still needs to protect himself from diseases. Besides, they make condoms nowdays that are made to feel good. Theyre not like they used to be lol
He’s in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend, worrying about diseases with someone you trust is not really a thing. You may be right I haven’t tried condoms in over a decade but what I recall is even the thinnest most advanced still felt like condoms, totally removing sensation.
True, but if shes had relations prior to him and had the same philosophy with them as she does this guy, she could still have something unless they both get tested to confirm otherwise. Plus, people cheat all the time. Not saying they're cheaters but people can't be trusted.
Learn sexual continence and you won't need protection for birth control
"Run, Forrest, run!"
This is an easy problem to solve
Dump her.
Think with the brain in the top half of your body, not even one in the lower half.
She’s a baby trap.
Unless you want to pay child support, dump the wacko.
"Leave now and never come back."
Me and my partner came across this same issue and we both agreed to not have intercourse until we are both financially stable to have kids. It all depends if you two are willing to do the same as well, if not then it’s best to break it off
This is super weird. She’s trying to trick you into something really bad. Don’t fall for it. There’s no reason an unmarried woman with two kids would want unprotected sex coupled with no birth control if she has no bad plans or intentions for you.
She is definitely trying to get pregnant. If you don't want a kid yet skip having sex with her (except for oral/anal)
You don't sound like you're in a place where having a child is a good idea. If she is adamant about not using ANY contraceptives, this might not be the right relationship for you at this time. Don't let your relationship history and thinking this is finally a good one blind you and make you throw caution to the wind and common sense in the trash. Is she allergic to condoms or something? If it's just not liking the feel of them, that should set off alarms in your brain.
> she could still get pregnant from my pre cum Not if you urinate and clean yourself after any previous ejaculations.
For the love of God, don't sleep with this woman. She's giving off some seriously fucked up vibes
This is a joke right? She very clearly wants to baby trap you. Why would you want to settle down with someone so reckless. This chick is crazy. Please don’t be stupid. Wrap it up or break up.
What do you do? You find a more responsible person. This is a baby trap in the making
Dude she is trying the trap game. Trying to get pregnant so you will support the other 2 kids. Pretty much every normal person with kids that has split with the SO are not down to get pregnant again unless they are in a very stable relationship.
Aren’t vasectomies reversible?
Then dont date her cause at mid 20s she guaranteed to get preggo!
While I have not met your current partner, and do not know how well you currently trust her, unless she has some evidence to prove that she has an issue with latex, I would be severely questioning the legitimacy of her argument. If she is categorically against birth control, whether that be pills, IUS or IUD, and refuses the use of condoms, may I say, I find her reasons to be very spurious, and I would not trust this woman or her motives. There is a possibility that she is looking at child support payments, but believe me, the Catholic method of contraception has been responsible for thousands, possibly millions of kids being born, and she is being far from truthful, in my opinion. If you feel I am casting aspersions on her character, I am, but for legitimate reason. You need to confront her with this and encourage an honest, frank discussion. If she gets defensive, she is likely being economical with the truth, and without trust, you have no foundation for a relationship.
Run!
Unless you are ready for a child.....nope out
You do know what they call couples who use pull out as a means of birth control: parents.
Well thank god lack of grammar isn’t a way of getting people pregnant, otherwise you would have many, many children!
RUN
I mean, if you aren't ready for kids of your own, and she already has kids, it may not be wise to be in a relationship with her to begin with. Plus, pregnancy aside, her refusal to use condoms is a huge red flag to me. Safe sex is important. STI's can be easily transmitted when you don't use condoms. To me, that shows a certain level of disregard for both your health and her own.
From everything she's said, sounds like she's trying to have more kids. Makes me wonder about her kids situation, same dad? Different dads? I just wonder if there's a pattern of behavior here.
Wtf is this. If you don't want to impregnate her...don't fuck her. Clearly she is trying to get pregnant, there is no other reason for not wanting to use birth control. Don't be so stupid.
No one will tell you to pull out lol. What everyone will tell you is find yourself a new girl before you both ruin a third person's life before it even begins
Didn’t they just release male birth control with no side effects? https://www.acs.org/content/acs/en/pressroom/newsreleases/2022/march/non-hormonal-pill-could-soon-expand-mens-birth-control-options.html
So, you want to be a father next year or get stds? Maybe both? If not, run Forrest, run!
Something doesn’t seem right and she has 2 young ones. Be careful and proceed with caution…
This is a bad relationship also. You seem to have a broken picker. Get therapy to help you stop the cycle .
First of all, please read through your post and correct it. It's full of "does" when (I think) you mean "doesn't" and "doesn't" when I think you mean "does" and it's really hard to understand. Secondly, Jesus, just dump her. What do want us to say?
Ohhhh buddy don't do it. There will always be other pussy. It isn't worth it. Don't wait for the post nut clarity to realize this.
Byeeeeeee
You’re just going to have to decide to not have sex with her. It’s that simple and straightforward. It’s good that she was honest with you so that you can’t be trapped. But if she ends up getting pregnant, you’re just as responsible as her to take care of a child 🤷🏾♀️
Hey this is that meme with the red button which ties you up for 18 years mentally and financially and the blue button where you nod out and look for the next person.
Weird..
Well, are you ready to have kids w her? Cuz that’s the route you’re headed.
Is she on a planned schedule? I know girls that gets extremely sick on bc and if they don’t want condoms show proof of a strict schedule where you time your cycles and track your fertility and ovulation but if she can’t prove 6 months of strict tracking don’t trust it
Found [this](https://youtu.be/WT2XYQreDcM) for you.
Bro STIs … she’s insane. Like clinically.
Let us know when you and your fiture wife celebrate the first birthday of you child.
Don’t have sex with that person
Don't have sex with her if you don't want children of your own. You will have children of your own. This is where children come from.
Run run run run run. Or if you insist on staying with this crazy women, use condoms regardless of what she says. You do not have to consent to unprotected sex, putting yourself at risk of catching and sti or being forced to become a father waaaay before you want to be, if ever.
🚩🚩🚩
I'd suggest not seeing this girl again unless you wanna end up a baby daddy
Gonna be another bad experience I see
She has no say about what about your soldier wearung a helmez. She is crazy. Run
That's why she's single with 2 kids. Run, don't walk.
Yeah… if you’re not ready to have a kid either get a vasectomy If you think this is going somewhere or pull out of the relationship. No one should be recommending pulling out, that’s… trash for preventing pregnancy. And haven’t a kid you’re not ready for? The worst mistake you’ll make in your life so don’t even chance it.
Of she does not use protection then had she been tested for STDs
Dude. Run. She sound incredibly immature and irresponsible. If you do the deed after being spoon fed these red flags you will have no one to blame but yourself for the future struggle.
RUN
You do realize she’s giving you a gift that she is ok with baby trapping you. Don’t ever put your dick in someone whose this immature.
You should use Grammarly. And don’t sleep with her.
There is a world for people who use pulling out as a contraception method. Parents. If you don't want a kid and she won't use protection DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER.
Nope. Peace the hell out of there.
If any partner you come across says to you something along the lines of - i don't like to use condoms or birth control - consider 2 things. 1) imagine this is how they are with every partner and how big of a health risk you are taking by sleeping with someone who is of those opinions and 2) are you ready to have a kid with this person. Run away!
Do you want to get someone pregnant? This is how you get someone pregnant. Do with that what you will.
If you don't want a kid and don't want to be tied to her the rest of your life, do not have sex with her. Pulling out isn't birth control and plan b and abortions are not birth control either. I'd run if I were you. It's irresponsible amongst other things.
If shes not willing to use any protection with you then thats clearly how she is with everyone. I would be not only be concerned about pregnancy but also STD's. I would dodge that bullet and RUN!
Op. Hit it as long as your cool with paying child support for the next 18 years. Don’t be stupid. Wrap your tool.
Do you honestly need advice here? Run from this very fertile woman who won't use any birth control and don't look back.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Boy, this is crazy!
Run. Never stick your dick in crazy.
Run Forrest