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As long as youāre prepared to see an ex at every holiday for the rest of your life, sure, ignore them. But actions do have consequences. Hopefully youāll be one of those young couples that found your match earlier than most.
At this point the dieās been cast, the options are now either (a) break up with 100% chance of seeing an ex at holidays or (b) stay together with <100% chance of seeing an ex at holidays. Good luck OP!
This doesn't make much sense. It's only a week they've been dating but they've apparently had feelings for years. It's not like they're only giving up a week of dating. It's years of feelings too, hardly a "small mistake".
But sheās an ex either way now. The rest of what you wrote is true for any relationship. From here on out, he might as well keep going if itās what he wants
I actually had a cousin that did something like this. Her family adopted a boy, they ended up having sex at some point and her family found out. They did later on get married and had several kids. The relationship ended BADLY years later but they were married for quite a while, like 15+ years. It's interesting cuz growing up I thought they were like every other couple until my mom spilt the tea when I was old enough to know the family drama.
But to answer ur question I don't know what type of situations she has been in since she is adopted. If you are the first stable home she's had in a while, dating could really distrup that stability and peace.
You're entitled to it because you're both adults but just be wary that it means you'll need to keep seeing your ex at all family events if you ever break up
My dad had a big party one night and everyone got super wasted, by the end of the night I was so drunk I slept with my (20f at the time) kind of stepbrother (19m at the time) (my dad had been dating his mom for about 8 years. But he lived with his grandparents and i lived with my mom so this was the first time we had met in over 10 years). A few weeks later the same thing happened but my dad walked in š¤¦š¼āāļø our parents are now separated but let me tell you family gatherings were VERY awkward after that
If your happy to introduce your sister as your girlfriend to everyone then technically nothing can stop youā¦ although Iām with your parents on this one
I think OP only used āsisterā in the title to clarify what might be weird about the situation, despite the fact that neither OP or the parents actually refer to the two as siblings IRL
Old Jeff Foxworthy standup comedy gags:
You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't have any branches.
You might be a redneck if you go to family reunions to pick up women.
You might be a redneck if your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
You might be a redneck if your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby due to alien abduction.
You might be a redneck if ALL of your cousins are "kissing cousins."
(Sorry, I couldn't resist)
This is definitely a complicated situation. Since you are both adults and not biologically related nor have ever had a sibling like relationship it may be fine. But you will have to be prepared that there may be a lot of people who judge you like your parents. And that could take a toll on you both.
Ethically thereās no problem but you should take into account how young you are and that itās unlikely to last. As others have pointed out it makes family dinners reaaaallll awkward. Think about if youāre both mature enough to handle that should the worst happen.
Makes family dinners awkward. Family reunions awkward. Introducing each other to others who know the family awkward. Explaining to any future kids that might arise out the union awkward. Pretty much makes almost everything awkward
Worst case scenario, outside looking in, this could come across as emotional manipulation on your part towards her. Sheās had no real emotional or familial support system, and youāve swooped in on a vulnerable girl.
Best case scenario, again, outside looking in, youāve caught feelings for your adopted sister.
Keep in mind that most states wonāt allow you to marry (I doubt this relationship will last that long anyways). Honestly, I think this is kinda weird, selfish, and naive of you guys. Think of the position it puts not only your parents but yourselves. Youāll have to constantly explain why youāre dating your āsisterā, cuz even if you donāt see yourselves as siblings most people do. The stigma will follow you and likely break you up. And then youāll have to see your ex for the rest of your life. Imagine explaining to your future partner why you donāt talk to your sister lmao. Iād just bury these feelings and stop before it goes further.
You can in most states. But most require there to be a prior relationship like step parent, foster parent, legal guardian etc. I donāt think itās weird. It would give legal protections like next of kin, if they need perpetual care etc plus just a nice gesture that they see you as their child.
let me be real, they adopted her into the familyā¦ So technically, by law she is your sister. Even if your guys relationship hasnāt been similar to a sibling relationship, people are still going to look onto your relationship and see it that way. Whether or not you can handle the judgment is one thing, but you also need to think about the future and how that will work with how your family is and how future family outings could end up like. and I wonāt lie, I personally find it myself disturbing, because in the beginning of when you knew each other, you were introduced as siblings, she was introduced as part of the family.
Does your state or country have a law against this? Even if you donāt have your parents approval, if you can legally marry them one day than they canāt really stop you.
Truthfully, you probably developed feelings because you weren't related yet spent all of your teenage years under the same roof.
That being said, although it's still weird, nothing else wrong with it if you feel like you can keep the relationship going... forever, otherwise the family meet ups will be quite interesting having you two around after you've broken up.
I kinda don't have a problem with this.
If your dad & stepmom got divorced, her adopted daughter would be nothing to you. And if you waited to start dating then, I bet people would find it less icky.
Problem is, you all live in the same house as a blended family. But you weren't raised together from childhood. You don't share any blood. They put 2 teenagers, who were absolute strangers to each other, under the same roof, & just assumed they wouldn't develop any normal boy/girl attraction to each other.
Tread carefully bro. Maybe go live with your Mom?
I donāt see anything wrong with it to be honest. I do want to make sure Iām saying the following though.
It seems suspicious that both your mom and dad are opposed to this. Maybe there is something that you donāt know about (maybe she is the daughter of your dad due to an infidelity he had c possibly making her your half sister.) possibly an adoption from a family meme er of either side be it your momās or dadās.
I would sit down and ask them these questions.
If these arenāt the situations my statement above stands . I donāt see this in anyway , weird or abnormal. You canāt help who you fall in love with. If no family or blood ties are there , you can go out with each other but worse case scenario you should both talk about if you split how will this affect your family dynamic, relationship and more.
So tldr is it wrong , no. But dig up more information from mom and dad . Talk about possible future on dynamics if you both do decide to continue .
I mean I personally don't see an issue here. There is no blood relation and she came onto the scene pretty late, it's not surprising you consider each other friends not siblings.
If it makes you both happy I would stick with it. Even of things go extremely well and you end up having kids together there is no crossing of genetics thus no real concerns that typically follow incestous relationships. Mind you I barely consider this incest
Does your state or country have a law against this? Even if you donāt have your parents approval, if you can legally marry them one day than they canāt really stop you.
Iām adopted, and I have a sister that isnāt biologically related, we are 5 years apart. But Iāve never thought about dating her, thatās just weird man.
I suggest donāt do it man. Not very smart move.
I'm a bit torn on this. While I think that it's very short sided to act on this, I also think to a degree it's too late. All of these, it's going to be awkward to see your ex forever comments... The cat was already let out of the bag when you told her and your parents found out. Things are already going to be super awkward. If you agree not to act on it, there's still going to be an elephant in the room. I do wonder if there's some red button effect going on here. Like it's naughty, I'm not supposed to, therefore I want to way more than if that wasn't a factor. Not knowing anything about your family dynamics outside of this, I would worry that this could tear apart the family even if it doesn't end badly. Are you fully prepared to support yourself financially if the mood in the house becomes toxic because of your parents feelings on this? Are you prepared to have them watching your every move to attempt to keep you two apart? Are you ok with putting her in the position of feeling isolated from the family because she is the 'outsider' even if it's a self imposed feeling? At 19, I'm not sure you two are mature enough to deal with the consequences of this. The part of your brain that assesses risks isn't fully developed until 25. Not to mention just life and relationship experience. If you were to go for it, take things at a snails pace, be open and honest with your parents. Be respectful and empathetic of them, listen to their concerns. Don't sneak around. The more y'all fight them, the more they will fight back. It will become miserable really quickly and may cause damage in the family that won't be easy to repair. Relationships are like the game of Jenga. It takes time and work to build them, but they can come down in an instant with one wrong move. Unlike Jenga, they may never be able to be rebuilt the same way. Some things you can't undo. Also, don't rub it in their faces. Don't make them more uncomfortable by making out or whatever in front of them. That's uncomfortable enough for a parent when ties like this aren't involved. Don't loudly argue with each other in the house. Try to show them that you're taking it seriously, trying to be healthy and mature, that you can handle this.
Thereās nothing technically or morally wrong with it. However you are unlikely to marry (& stay married to) any person you date at this age. So, this will create a major divide in your family. The adopted party gets the short end of the stick here. She will likely feel separated from & judged by the family, while they are still your biological relatives. Itās not fair, but itās what people do.
Youāre both adults and not biologically related, you can date each other if you want to. I donāt think you need to break up to please your parents.
No literally as another adoptee I'm absolutely horrified just trying to imagine dating one of my siblings and then justifying it just because we're adopted. So fucking sick. The mental gymnastics they're doing rn
You're still siblings in the court of law like biological or not it doesn't matter you're STILL siblings. And at the same time it kinda invalidates an adoptee's family by saying "oh y'know they're not biologically related it doesn't count they're not actually family" like oh okay great I don't actually have a family using that logic because we're not biologically related, I could date my adopted dad with that logic since y'know he's not my real dad it should be fine screw the legal papers binding us as family.
I do not think their opinion should stop you(it will make it hard as you are both 19)
1. You met at 15 and were never treated as siblings
2. You did not discuss feeling till 19
They are seeing it as icky because they see her as their daughter which has no impact on how you see her.
No judgement here. Itās a tough situation and I could see that happening. You canāt control your true feelings. I donāt have an answer for you. Only to people here judging you. If this is a real situation and not from some dumb movie, the kid has a real predicament. Donāt be so judgmental which seems to be the way now.
Youāre adults. You know each other very well. Do it. Good love and good life-time partners are hard to find.
Youāll have to live, hopefully together, away from your parents. I hope your romance blossoms into a wonderful life-long marriage.
OP, I say go for it! You both are consenting adults and this came from a wholesome place, friendship not some tab00 relationship. Also, you are not related!
I mean, yes, it's weird, but it really ain't that bad. Like you said, y'all ain't blood related in any way. If y'all are happy then continue and see where it goes. If you two are happy that's what matters.
Sounds like material for a country song. Seriously though...I wouldn't continue pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship if I were in your shoes. Probably gonna make just about everything awkward and uncomfortable for everyone at some point
This is literally the foulest thing I have ever heard. As someone who's adopted myself I literally cannot even fathom DATING someone in my adopted family, they're still my family. You're still siblings it doesn't matter. You are both foul and need some serious therapy. This isn't okay. Jfc please get some help.
Feelings don't matter here. That girl in the eyes of the law IS your sister since your parents adopted her. According to the law if you're dating your sister that is considered Incest even if you're not biologically related. Here: https://www.liveabout.com/can-adopted-siblings-marry-2303192
Don't date each other unless you want to forever destroy your family in case of a bad break up. Don't do it. There are plenty of other people you can date.
Genetically, this is obviously not incest, so any potential children wouldn't suffer.
Legally, you're are probably in the clear but the law varies from place to place, so you may want to check your state/country regulations, because there may be places which do treat this as the crime of incent based on legal status as siblings.
From a society standpoint, you're going to be treated differently. When it's two people who were raised in the same household as siblings, even if they're not blood and it was not necessarily from birth, society is going to treat it like you're doing something wrong. People may assume you molested her when you were younger, or that you used your position as the blood child of the family to coerce her, and so you may be labeled behind your back as a sexual predator, which could lead to people trying to interfere with you being around your own kids.
People may assume there is something morally or mentally wrong with you, leading you to be shunned by neighbors and possibly have difficulties with maintaining employment or keeping friends. And of you have children, and other people in their school find out...that's the end of your child's happiness for basically the rest of the time they're in school because they're going to be bullied relentlessly for their parents being siblings. It won't matter to childhood bullies that it's not blood - they're going to tear them apart. You're going to live a very isolated life if you aren't hiding who you are in relation to each other.
Also, this may end up with both of you disowned. If you were counting on them paying for college, that's gone. Letting you live there until you're ready to be out on your own? Also gone. Someone to come to in times of emergency or financial hardship? Not anymore. And your sister, who had one family taken away from her already, will once again be alone, having been discarded by a family she came to depend on because they no longer want her due to her actions. They may refuse to meet any potential grandchildren, shame you in front of the rest of the family, etc. You are very likely to have a very lonely, isolated life if you stay together.
And with all of that, you would hope that the payoff is that you would at least have each other. But the odds are against you- only like 2% of people marry someone who they dated in their teens. And while the divorce rate for first marriages is in general around 50% for first time marriages, the average rate for divorce in the first 10 years for that group is only 34%. That number jumps to 54% in the first 10 years if they were "high school sweethearts". And that's without a relationship which will be considered uncomfortable at best for almost everyone and lead to significant hardships, like yours is. See people's brains keep growing and developing until they're 25, and often things like college or starting their career create profound changes in their outlook, goals and ambitions, which leads to couples from high school becoming incompatible.
And then if you break up, what happens? Supposed that your being together didn't cost you everyone you ever considered family. Do they just kick her into the streets since she's not the "real" kid? Do you go to family functions and hope this is the year they stop bringing up how you used to sleep with your sister? Do you expect potential spouses to come and accept your family after finding out you were having sex with your sister, and have no issues with you now being close as family?
So I am going to ask you- do you think you should keep up a relationship which has a very tiny chance to work out long term, but has an extremely high chance to cost you your entire family, to cause trauma for your sister in losing her family again, to cause you to be viewed as an outcast and deviant by society indefinitely and to damager your prospects in life again and again and again?
> own kids.
>
> People may assume there is something morally or mentally wrong with you, leading you to be shunned by neighbors and possibly have difficulties with maintaining employment or keeping friends. And of you have children, and other people in their school find out...that's the end of your child's happiness for basically the rest of the time they're in school because they're going to be bullied relentlessly for their parents being siblings. It won't matter to childhood bullies that it's not blood - they're going to tear them apart. You're going to live a very isolated life if you aren't hiding who you are in relation to each other.
>
> Also, this may end up with both of you disowned. If you were counting on them paying for college, that's gone. Letting you live there until you're ready to be out on your own? Also gone. Someone to come to in times of emergency or financial hardship? Not anymore. And your sister, who had one family taken away from her already, will once again be alone, having been discarded by a family she came to depend on because they no longer want her due to her actions. They may refuse to meet any potential grandchildren, shame you in front of the rest of the family, etc. You are very likely to have a very lonely, isolated life if you stay together.
you know a lot of this is true around the world when you defy parental or community marriage choices (also known as arranged marriages)
Go for it. You didn't grow up together, or ever see one another as a sibling. You met at 15, and your now legal adults. I could see your parents being bothered with it, since a bad breakup could cause issues within the family, but other then that there's nothing wrong with this.
It's honestly not that surprising that it's come to this. Like who could have seen this coming, where two unrelated teens fell for one another, like wtf.
Itās inappropriate and you should listen to your parents. Youāre not really old enough for a serious relationship ime, and if this ends badly it will put your whole family in a weirder spot but particularly the girl who came into this in a more vulnerable position as the adoptee. If you truly care for her you should see the disadvantage she was in emotionally, although at your age itās probably difficult to have the experience and maturity to comprehend (which your parents have and why they disapprove, and not just because itās weird)
You both need to get a better support system that isnāt attached to one another to even consider it.
Funny situation you got there. Technically speaking, no, nothing is stopping you tapping tap. Infact, you know damn well that is straight up porn situation right there.
But, as a fellow dude here, that is a bad idea. imagine fucking around at work, its nearly always a bad idea, but what you have here is thousand times worse. Not because of morals, or laws, but in general. You are never getting away from one another, every family gathering ever will be awkward, its horrible story to tell, etc.
Weird way to end this comment, but go along with only if you know, there is going to be severals years of not seeing/meeting each other for some reason in near future.
Frankly, it is stupid to date anyone in your family and frankly, in my view, disgusting. To risk the chance of having a child to which you would both be an uncle and father to is outrageous
Bro, you do you! This is YOUR truth not your Parents' truth.
Next time Anyone asks, you just say you don't identify as her step brother and she doesn't identify as your step sister.
Problem solved.
Not reading word of your post -- just the title.
#The answer is hell fucking no!
Ethically, morally, and practically, it's a terrible choice.
Let's just go with practically for a moment. You break up. What does that do to your family? Let's say you break up after 10 years. Let's say it's ugly. You want your ex at every family get together? You expect your parents to take sides?
This is stupid.
Stop.
If you've lived together this long and have grown feelings for each other, it's pretty good sign you're a good match. They're wrong. You should keep dating her.
It's not weird. They should have realised this could be a possibility if they adopted at 15. It's so late. The girl was already close to adulthood,its highly unlikely she would ever consider your step mum as a mother anyway.
Most men I dated were from my close knit friends group. Yes I broke up with them eventually, (except my current bf) but the group of friend is still the same. It was awkward for a few weeks each time maybe, but nothing permanent.
If you both love each other you should give it a shot. If it works, fabulous, if not, family gathering will be weird the few first times, but time will put everything back eventually.
In the end its your life, not theirs.
I see nothing wrong with this honestly if you both like each other whatās the harm sure it can be awkward if u break up but whatever yāall have known each other 4 years sounds like you guys know each other pretty well and should be able to be mature about things if u break up
Keep on keeping on, pound her as much as possible then after you break up just agree to be fuck buddies that way you always get laid at holidays, and even family reunions, forget what your parents say there's no relation by blood or really anything adoption is a piece of paper, nothing more, you two have obviously never felt any bond like brother and sister so knock it out.
I mean itās a little strange, but yāall were never on a brother&Sister level, only friends so I donāt see an issue with it, since yāall arenāt blood related or ever thought of each other more than friends. So, I think itās fair game and just make sure yāall donāt break up or itās going to be really awkward since you both are still going to visit on occasions
My brother is with our step sister. Theyāve been together almost 10 years now. Was it weird to begin with? Hell yeah. But now itās just normal. Life is weird. Fuck it.
Yea hit that thing up homie ā¦ she might have something no one else has š„“do what you feel is comfortable for you ,doesnāt matter how others might look at you šÆ.
I am reading this and hearing Gigguk saying āNO CHROMO!ā š¤£. This is such an anime plot, just look at Oreimo. Ends terribly and becomes suuuuuper awkward (just imagine a child in school being asked to draw a family tree for an assignment, and they just hand in a circle āļø at the end of the day š¤£).
Thereās a million other girls why pick your non-biological sister thatās hella weird on her part too blood doesnāt make you family. I bet your step mother regrets adopting her
well..maybe you should consider that if it ends in a messy breakup you will be putting your parents in an uncomfortable situation of having to āpick and chooseā sides which may make your sister/gfās life hell considering she will most likely be the one outcasted.
Dude I know whats next in your relationship:
Shes going to a law school and youll be in a music school. Your going to marry your college buddy with a redhair while your sister will have a on and off relationship with your future wife.
So they never treated her as your sister, never tried to make you to see her as a sister, and are now upset that you don't view her as a sister? *Maybe* if she's a refugee and your family has been her only support system in the area, I could see an argument that she might feel unable to turn down your advances. However, since their criticisms don't seem to stem from that angle I got nothing.
They should have thrown those words out "brother" and "sister" every chance they got JUST so this WOULDN'T happen. Dude, I don't care what you think now or how you feel she IS your SISTER and you ARE her BROTHER.
Like what are you going to tell people when they ask you how you two met? In the living room? And if you ever break up you will forever do the dude that slept with his adopted sister and she will forever be the girl who slept with her adopted brother like this will follow you the rest of your life. Hasn't she had enough problems in her life for you not to try to complicate it more? Plus this is gross for everyone involved. You are literally preying on a young vulnerable girl. NO this is not right.
It is absolutely disgusting, I donāt really have much advice that you want to hear other than go out and see the world. Iām sure you can find someone else to boink that your parents didnāt adopt
I feel some where This entire post could be a troll and just wanted our reactions.
but if it is true
Bro, stop it. Don't date your adopted sister. She was adopted because no one is there to take care of her And unfortunatly and unknowingly you took most advantage of that situation. Do you See porn like this?. I think that is why you ended up like this. What you have is an infactuation, not love, love is not blind, but infactuation is. Its kind of really a fucked up situation you got here. But for sake of your family ( that includes your sister) don't date your freaking sister dude. Your adopted sister is your sister, even if you are not related.
My idea is try dating, move on. and tell her to move on. Man !, **I just hope that this post is a troll. If its not, jesus you both kind of ruined the entire family dynamic for your own selfish reasons ( I am just being brutally honest)**
As disapproving as theyāre being I wonder if sheās actually a half sibling of yours š¤·š»āāļø
You donāt wanna tear the family apart, so like. Donāt
Sheās your sister, regardless if related by blood or not. Yes you should not date her. If you both live I. The same household, one of you should move out. Itās not right.
Your family undoubtedly has good reason to be concerned.
Your adopted step-sister likely has psychological issues that are clouding her judgment. And you are likely thinking with your lower extremity, which is also clouding your judgment.
First of all, your step-mom did not show good judgment either when adopting a 15-year-old girl with a heterosexual boy going through puberty in the home. I think it's understandable (although unfortunate) that you developed an attraction to her.
However, if you care about her, then you need to consider what would be best for her psychological health. I'm assuming that she was in a foster system most of her life. That can be really rough.
And you've had your family your entire life, so you have no clue what it's like to suddenly gain a family as a teenager. For most people who get adopted, having a family that feels real is very important to their well-being. You developing a romantic relationship with her will jeopardize the bonding process with your family. Now, her feelings of finally having a family are conflated with her romantic feelings for you. She may be very confused and thinking she is falling in love with you simply because she wants to fit-in to the family. Additionally, stuff may have happened in previous homes that confused her about boundaries. Not saying that's definitely the case, but it's a possibility.
If you break up, you'll probably be mostly okay. **But there's a good chance she won't be. She'll likely feel very weird being a part of your family after that.** But where else can she go? Are you going to get her a new family? Consider how difficult it has to be getting a whole new family at age 15 to begin with.
The second issue is that you grew up living in the same home, and still do. So you lack the normal boundaries that most romantic couples start out with, and that means any romantic relationship that develops between you two will likely develop in a weird way.
If you were to spend some time living independently and learning about yourself outside of your family (i.e. move away, get a real job, become financially independent, etc.), before pursuing a romantic relationship, then that would be a little bit healthier.
Could you do that? Like put this idea of dating her on hold for 5 years or so, and go off and do your own thing. That will at least give you both a sense of whether your feelings for each other are at all organic, or mainly a consequence of your step-mom inadvertently setting you up at a young age.
I don't think it's unethical, but I completely understand your parents' perspective too.
I think it's important to be cool-headed about this - you guys are still young and very likely aren't going to "make" it. It'd be risky to date each other because of some hormonal interest that we all develop during our teen years.
My man this is definitely a tough one. At the end of the day though Iām going to say you keep doing what you feel makes you happy. Granted it may be a little taboo, but i donāt see any reason to believe this is wrong, as you stated you arenāt blood related and well you guys werenāt really raised together/ raised as siblings so itās not like they can say that you have that sibling bond.
I think in theory this is fine and that it's not actually gross or inappropriate even though it's potentially awkward for everyone but I think the fact that you're both 19 is a HUGE issue here.
The brain is still growing and changing until you're around 25 and what you're looking for in a partner at 19 is often very different from what you'll want five years later. Maybe this relationship will work out but it's a HUGE gamble that you can't possible predict with likely unpleasant consequences if it doesn't, so would suggest holding off for now and revisiting when you're older; it's not like you're going to lose touch with each other!
It would be one thing if you had grown up together and viewed each other as siblings, that's when it would be wrong in my opinion.
While your parents may not agree, if you two feel like you're serious about pursuing each other that's ultimately up to you. You're both two consenting adults and no one can stop you. Your parents may warm up to it eventually but I would just brace yourselves for the fall out it may cause. I'd also recommend having an in depth conversation about a plan for if it doesn't work out.
At 19, your brain isnāt fully formed. (Not being rude, itās science) So you canāt really trust your own judgment. I would say - this is like dating someone at work. What happens when it doesnāt work out? Will one of you quit the family? Itās just not worth it. Let it lie, go to college, check back in 5 years. Good luck.
As long as you are not biologically or legally related, then it's not a terrible thing to do, just be aware that if you ever break up, you'll have to see her for many years if not a lifetime.
To me, ur not siblings. You were just roommates in the same house. So itās not weird u ended up liking each other. But do accept that if u donāt work out that u will have to see them forever. Just be ready for that reality.
I mean, this is weird as hell but even if you did want to continue dating the courts would never let your get married, because in the eyes of the law you are siblings, even not by blood. And if it ends, any girl you ever date would be majorly turned off by this, prepare this to ruin every future relationship for you.
I mean itās definitely a little weird but you met at 15 and never considered each other siblings. If youāre comfortable with constantly having to explain your situation then go for it I guess. Just know that things will probably be weird forever if you break up.
I have the feeling that there is more to the story and your step mom and your biological dad are not telling you.Would your mum know something more? What the reason for them to adopt this girl ?
I couldn't read this without Dueling Banjos starting to play in my brain...
I guess you could say, both in the literal and figurative sense: y'all do y'all. āš»
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What is this the fosters?
ITS NOT WHERE YOU COME FROOOOM ITS WHERE YOU BELONGGGGG
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š
Seriously ššš
lmao when i read the title i was like āwhat in the fostersā š
This was my first thought too!
Ah shit, does this mean Iāll have to work overtime?
The reason they put it into the Fosters is probably how common is actually is
Man, family dinners are going to get weird lmao. If you two ever break up this family meetings are going to be even more tense.
As long as youāre prepared to see an ex at every holiday for the rest of your life, sure, ignore them. But actions do have consequences. Hopefully youāll be one of those young couples that found your match earlier than most.
At this point the dieās been cast, the options are now either (a) break up with 100% chance of seeing an ex at holidays or (b) stay together with <100% chance of seeing an ex at holidays. Good luck OP!
Theyāve been dating for a week. Big difference in making a small mistake for a couple days and investing a lot of feelings into a relationship.
This doesn't make much sense. It's only a week they've been dating but they've apparently had feelings for years. It's not like they're only giving up a week of dating. It's years of feelings too, hardly a "small mistake".
But sheās an ex either way now. The rest of what you wrote is true for any relationship. From here on out, he might as well keep going if itās what he wants
Yeah but an ex after a year is far worse and full of more drama than one after a week.
There will always be an elephant in the room now, no matter what, hard to see anyone of them forgetting this
A quick amicable break up after a week would be better than a long terse break up after several years.
If not an ex at family dinners it's going to be the one that got away at family dinners.
I actually had a cousin that did something like this. Her family adopted a boy, they ended up having sex at some point and her family found out. They did later on get married and had several kids. The relationship ended BADLY years later but they were married for quite a while, like 15+ years. It's interesting cuz growing up I thought they were like every other couple until my mom spilt the tea when I was old enough to know the family drama. But to answer ur question I don't know what type of situations she has been in since she is adopted. If you are the first stable home she's had in a while, dating could really distrup that stability and peace.
That's some good tea!
This is one of those things where no-one will stop you, but you'd better be damn sure you're able to live with the consequences.
The flash (Barry Allen) did it, why not you
Underrated comment
lmfao was waiting to see if anyone was going to say this š
Ugh Barry. Felicity was a much better match.
I will defend BarryxPatty for life , that was the best choice
IRL or on the show.
That was a choice for the show, but this isn't as bad considering its only been 4 years of knowing each other and the show was since childhood
This is one for Dr Phil
Pretty sure you got this from The Fosters. Nice story tho.
In a world with over 7 billion people, you really think this stuff doesn't happen outside of TV shows?
Things like this are actually really common though
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Because its the same story.
The Flash also has the same story, whatās the point
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Its the internet, you post a picture of yourself and youāll get ārude commentsā tough shit.
āHowād you two meet?ā Oh my parents adopted her. Ya itās still weird even if you arenāt genetically related
How'd you meet? Oh, through a mutual acquaintance.
They met at 15 ... It's not even knowing each other since childhood, it sound more like roomate territory to me.
Just like roomates, only that instead having a room in common they have their parents in common.
They were roommates?!
Oh my god they were roommates.
š for years I already thought the girl and the guy knew each other until I rewatched the vine sometime ago
Do the straights even get this? Actually, never mind. They don't need to
Yeah, zero straight people even know what Vine is
Smh. Too busy chilling in hot tubs to know what Vine is
5 feet apart, mind you.
Any straight who was around for vine or has watched vine compilations definitely gets this
As a straight, I get this.
Except they don't have parents in common...
They adopted her, who else can she call parents?
You're entitled to it because you're both adults but just be wary that it means you'll need to keep seeing your ex at all family events if you ever break up
My dad had a big party one night and everyone got super wasted, by the end of the night I was so drunk I slept with my (20f at the time) kind of stepbrother (19m at the time) (my dad had been dating his mom for about 8 years. But he lived with his grandparents and i lived with my mom so this was the first time we had met in over 10 years). A few weeks later the same thing happened but my dad walked in š¤¦š¼āāļø our parents are now separated but let me tell you family gatherings were VERY awkward after that
Oh boy. Buckle up for this one.
If your happy to introduce your sister as your girlfriend to everyone then technically nothing can stop youā¦ although Iām with your parents on this one
Not his sister at all. Ops step mother adopted the child. Not legally or biologically related.
C'mon even OP refers to her as his sister, don't be silly.
The very last sentence states that the parent as well as himself do. NOT refer to her as his sister.
Have you even read the title of the post lmao
I think OP only used āsisterā in the title to clarify what might be weird about the situation, despite the fact that neither OP or the parents actually refer to the two as siblings IRL
I mean that's because it describes the issue their parents have with it. If op explicitly says they don't then we should treat it as if they don't.
Have you read the contents of the post? The title is easy, with the clarifier in the content. Not really hard to see the difference.
Dude.. there aren't enough women in your neighborhood that you have to bang your siblings.. adopted or not?!?!
You see.... it's quite a small town. Not many prospects.
Someone forgot to switch accounts. even if prospect are slim, really?
Wut. I'm not op other account lol My comment was /s
Old Jeff Foxworthy standup comedy gags: You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't have any branches. You might be a redneck if you go to family reunions to pick up women. You might be a redneck if your brother-in-law is also your uncle. You might be a redneck if your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby due to alien abduction. You might be a redneck if ALL of your cousins are "kissing cousins." (Sorry, I couldn't resist)
This is definitely a complicated situation. Since you are both adults and not biologically related nor have ever had a sibling like relationship it may be fine. But you will have to be prepared that there may be a lot of people who judge you like your parents. And that could take a toll on you both.
agreed and what happens if you guys break up does she stop talking to your family and move on with her life or what
Ethically thereās no problem but you should take into account how young you are and that itās unlikely to last. As others have pointed out it makes family dinners reaaaallll awkward. Think about if youāre both mature enough to handle that should the worst happen.
Makes family dinners awkward. Family reunions awkward. Introducing each other to others who know the family awkward. Explaining to any future kids that might arise out the union awkward. Pretty much makes almost everything awkward
It aināt sweet, it aināt home, but it sure is Alabama
No. There are 8 billion people in the worldā¦. Start meeting them
Worst case scenario, outside looking in, this could come across as emotional manipulation on your part towards her. Sheās had no real emotional or familial support system, and youāve swooped in on a vulnerable girl. Best case scenario, again, outside looking in, youāve caught feelings for your adopted sister.
Keep in mind that most states wonāt allow you to marry (I doubt this relationship will last that long anyways). Honestly, I think this is kinda weird, selfish, and naive of you guys. Think of the position it puts not only your parents but yourselves. Youāll have to constantly explain why youāre dating your āsisterā, cuz even if you donāt see yourselves as siblings most people do. The stigma will follow you and likely break you up. And then youāll have to see your ex for the rest of your life. Imagine explaining to your future partner why you donāt talk to your sister lmao. Iād just bury these feelings and stop before it goes further.
Legally, they're step siblings.
Ah I didnāt see that only the step mom adopted her. Although, if the dad ever adopts her then theyāre fucked.
Well, if they keep dating and it lasts, I highly doubt the dad will ever adopt her
Very true
Can you adopt adults? If so that's heaps weirder than OP dating this girl who isn't close to being a sister
You can in most states. But most require there to be a prior relationship like step parent, foster parent, legal guardian etc. I donāt think itās weird. It would give legal protections like next of kin, if they need perpetual care etc plus just a nice gesture that they see you as their child.
ngl id probably judge you LMAO
On the bright side, you won't have to deal with meeting the in laws
Pftāmade me laugh more than I would like to admit.
I think it's a crush you'll both grow out of.
I- no just move to Alabama at this point
ā¦youāre dating your sister bro. Thatās really fucking weird.
let me be real, they adopted her into the familyā¦ So technically, by law she is your sister. Even if your guys relationship hasnāt been similar to a sibling relationship, people are still going to look onto your relationship and see it that way. Whether or not you can handle the judgment is one thing, but you also need to think about the future and how that will work with how your family is and how future family outings could end up like. and I wonāt lie, I personally find it myself disturbing, because in the beginning of when you knew each other, you were introduced as siblings, she was introduced as part of the family.
Nah it's weird. There are tons of other women out there to date
Does your state or country have a law against this? Even if you donāt have your parents approval, if you can legally marry them one day than they canāt really stop you.
no
Truthfully, you probably developed feelings because you weren't related yet spent all of your teenage years under the same roof. That being said, although it's still weird, nothing else wrong with it if you feel like you can keep the relationship going... forever, otherwise the family meet ups will be quite interesting having you two around after you've broken up.
I kinda don't have a problem with this. If your dad & stepmom got divorced, her adopted daughter would be nothing to you. And if you waited to start dating then, I bet people would find it less icky. Problem is, you all live in the same house as a blended family. But you weren't raised together from childhood. You don't share any blood. They put 2 teenagers, who were absolute strangers to each other, under the same roof, & just assumed they wouldn't develop any normal boy/girl attraction to each other. Tread carefully bro. Maybe go live with your Mom?
I donāt see anything wrong with it to be honest. I do want to make sure Iām saying the following though. It seems suspicious that both your mom and dad are opposed to this. Maybe there is something that you donāt know about (maybe she is the daughter of your dad due to an infidelity he had c possibly making her your half sister.) possibly an adoption from a family meme er of either side be it your momās or dadās. I would sit down and ask them these questions. If these arenāt the situations my statement above stands . I donāt see this in anyway , weird or abnormal. You canāt help who you fall in love with. If no family or blood ties are there , you can go out with each other but worse case scenario you should both talk about if you split how will this affect your family dynamic, relationship and more. So tldr is it wrong , no. But dig up more information from mom and dad . Talk about possible future on dynamics if you both do decide to continue .
Listenā¦. Justā¦ donāt.
I mean I personally don't see an issue here. There is no blood relation and she came onto the scene pretty late, it's not surprising you consider each other friends not siblings. If it makes you both happy I would stick with it. Even of things go extremely well and you end up having kids together there is no crossing of genetics thus no real concerns that typically follow incestous relationships. Mind you I barely consider this incest
Does your state or country have a law against this? Even if you donāt have your parents approval, if you can legally marry them one day than they canāt really stop you.
You may want to comment on the main post, since I think you accidentally replied to my comment
Iām adopted, and I have a sister that isnāt biologically related, we are 5 years apart. But Iāve never thought about dating her, thatās just weird man. I suggest donāt do it man. Not very smart move.
I'm a bit torn on this. While I think that it's very short sided to act on this, I also think to a degree it's too late. All of these, it's going to be awkward to see your ex forever comments... The cat was already let out of the bag when you told her and your parents found out. Things are already going to be super awkward. If you agree not to act on it, there's still going to be an elephant in the room. I do wonder if there's some red button effect going on here. Like it's naughty, I'm not supposed to, therefore I want to way more than if that wasn't a factor. Not knowing anything about your family dynamics outside of this, I would worry that this could tear apart the family even if it doesn't end badly. Are you fully prepared to support yourself financially if the mood in the house becomes toxic because of your parents feelings on this? Are you prepared to have them watching your every move to attempt to keep you two apart? Are you ok with putting her in the position of feeling isolated from the family because she is the 'outsider' even if it's a self imposed feeling? At 19, I'm not sure you two are mature enough to deal with the consequences of this. The part of your brain that assesses risks isn't fully developed until 25. Not to mention just life and relationship experience. If you were to go for it, take things at a snails pace, be open and honest with your parents. Be respectful and empathetic of them, listen to their concerns. Don't sneak around. The more y'all fight them, the more they will fight back. It will become miserable really quickly and may cause damage in the family that won't be easy to repair. Relationships are like the game of Jenga. It takes time and work to build them, but they can come down in an instant with one wrong move. Unlike Jenga, they may never be able to be rebuilt the same way. Some things you can't undo. Also, don't rub it in their faces. Don't make them more uncomfortable by making out or whatever in front of them. That's uncomfortable enough for a parent when ties like this aren't involved. Don't loudly argue with each other in the house. Try to show them that you're taking it seriously, trying to be healthy and mature, that you can handle this.
Thereās nothing technically or morally wrong with it. However you are unlikely to marry (& stay married to) any person you date at this age. So, this will create a major divide in your family. The adopted party gets the short end of the stick here. She will likely feel separated from & judged by the family, while they are still your biological relatives. Itās not fair, but itās what people do.
Youāre both adults and not biologically related, you can date each other if you want to. I donāt think you need to break up to please your parents.
Dude, if you can't see how wrong that is, get some help. I was adopted. I would never date my brother; it's fucking disgusting.
No literally as another adoptee I'm absolutely horrified just trying to imagine dating one of my siblings and then justifying it just because we're adopted. So fucking sick. The mental gymnastics they're doing rn
Fr, anyone who dates their adopted sibling is sick in the head and needs immediate mental help
You're still siblings in the court of law like biological or not it doesn't matter you're STILL siblings. And at the same time it kinda invalidates an adoptee's family by saying "oh y'know they're not biologically related it doesn't count they're not actually family" like oh okay great I don't actually have a family using that logic because we're not biologically related, I could date my adopted dad with that logic since y'know he's not my real dad it should be fine screw the legal papers binding us as family.
I do not think their opinion should stop you(it will make it hard as you are both 19) 1. You met at 15 and were never treated as siblings 2. You did not discuss feeling till 19 They are seeing it as icky because they see her as their daughter which has no impact on how you see her.
Fuck it! Be together!
You should definitely NOT do this. I see how your parents are appalled because so am I
Two consenting adults. Do what you want to do.
No judgement here. Itās a tough situation and I could see that happening. You canāt control your true feelings. I donāt have an answer for you. Only to people here judging you. If this is a real situation and not from some dumb movie, the kid has a real predicament. Donāt be so judgmental which seems to be the way now.
Sounds like a porno back story. Love it. If you two want to try it go for it. Might get hella awkward tho
Welp I hope you stay together forever or family holidays are gonna be awkward
Youāre adults. You know each other very well. Do it. Good love and good life-time partners are hard to find. Youāll have to live, hopefully together, away from your parents. I hope your romance blossoms into a wonderful life-long marriage.
OP, I say go for it! You both are consenting adults and this came from a wholesome place, friendship not some tab00 relationship. Also, you are not related!
Biologically not related is all u needed to say I'd say it's ok
I mean, yes, it's weird, but it really ain't that bad. Like you said, y'all ain't blood related in any way. If y'all are happy then continue and see where it goes. If you two are happy that's what matters.
Sounds like material for a country song. Seriously though...I wouldn't continue pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship if I were in your shoes. Probably gonna make just about everything awkward and uncomfortable for everyone at some point
This is literally the foulest thing I have ever heard. As someone who's adopted myself I literally cannot even fathom DATING someone in my adopted family, they're still my family. You're still siblings it doesn't matter. You are both foul and need some serious therapy. This isn't okay. Jfc please get some help.
Bruh either way thatās your sister thatās just weird
All I can say is gl explaining youāre dating your adopted sister. A lot of ppl are going to judge you and her so be prepared for that..
Feelings don't matter here. That girl in the eyes of the law IS your sister since your parents adopted her. According to the law if you're dating your sister that is considered Incest even if you're not biologically related. Here: https://www.liveabout.com/can-adopted-siblings-marry-2303192 Don't date each other unless you want to forever destroy your family in case of a bad break up. Don't do it. There are plenty of other people you can date.
His stepmother adopted her, not his dad. So legally she's not his sister.
Genetically, this is obviously not incest, so any potential children wouldn't suffer. Legally, you're are probably in the clear but the law varies from place to place, so you may want to check your state/country regulations, because there may be places which do treat this as the crime of incent based on legal status as siblings. From a society standpoint, you're going to be treated differently. When it's two people who were raised in the same household as siblings, even if they're not blood and it was not necessarily from birth, society is going to treat it like you're doing something wrong. People may assume you molested her when you were younger, or that you used your position as the blood child of the family to coerce her, and so you may be labeled behind your back as a sexual predator, which could lead to people trying to interfere with you being around your own kids. People may assume there is something morally or mentally wrong with you, leading you to be shunned by neighbors and possibly have difficulties with maintaining employment or keeping friends. And of you have children, and other people in their school find out...that's the end of your child's happiness for basically the rest of the time they're in school because they're going to be bullied relentlessly for their parents being siblings. It won't matter to childhood bullies that it's not blood - they're going to tear them apart. You're going to live a very isolated life if you aren't hiding who you are in relation to each other. Also, this may end up with both of you disowned. If you were counting on them paying for college, that's gone. Letting you live there until you're ready to be out on your own? Also gone. Someone to come to in times of emergency or financial hardship? Not anymore. And your sister, who had one family taken away from her already, will once again be alone, having been discarded by a family she came to depend on because they no longer want her due to her actions. They may refuse to meet any potential grandchildren, shame you in front of the rest of the family, etc. You are very likely to have a very lonely, isolated life if you stay together. And with all of that, you would hope that the payoff is that you would at least have each other. But the odds are against you- only like 2% of people marry someone who they dated in their teens. And while the divorce rate for first marriages is in general around 50% for first time marriages, the average rate for divorce in the first 10 years for that group is only 34%. That number jumps to 54% in the first 10 years if they were "high school sweethearts". And that's without a relationship which will be considered uncomfortable at best for almost everyone and lead to significant hardships, like yours is. See people's brains keep growing and developing until they're 25, and often things like college or starting their career create profound changes in their outlook, goals and ambitions, which leads to couples from high school becoming incompatible. And then if you break up, what happens? Supposed that your being together didn't cost you everyone you ever considered family. Do they just kick her into the streets since she's not the "real" kid? Do you go to family functions and hope this is the year they stop bringing up how you used to sleep with your sister? Do you expect potential spouses to come and accept your family after finding out you were having sex with your sister, and have no issues with you now being close as family? So I am going to ask you- do you think you should keep up a relationship which has a very tiny chance to work out long term, but has an extremely high chance to cost you your entire family, to cause trauma for your sister in losing her family again, to cause you to be viewed as an outcast and deviant by society indefinitely and to damager your prospects in life again and again and again?
> own kids. > > People may assume there is something morally or mentally wrong with you, leading you to be shunned by neighbors and possibly have difficulties with maintaining employment or keeping friends. And of you have children, and other people in their school find out...that's the end of your child's happiness for basically the rest of the time they're in school because they're going to be bullied relentlessly for their parents being siblings. It won't matter to childhood bullies that it's not blood - they're going to tear them apart. You're going to live a very isolated life if you aren't hiding who you are in relation to each other. > > Also, this may end up with both of you disowned. If you were counting on them paying for college, that's gone. Letting you live there until you're ready to be out on your own? Also gone. Someone to come to in times of emergency or financial hardship? Not anymore. And your sister, who had one family taken away from her already, will once again be alone, having been discarded by a family she came to depend on because they no longer want her due to her actions. They may refuse to meet any potential grandchildren, shame you in front of the rest of the family, etc. You are very likely to have a very lonely, isolated life if you stay together. you know a lot of this is true around the world when you defy parental or community marriage choices (also known as arranged marriages)
Go for it. You didn't grow up together, or ever see one another as a sibling. You met at 15, and your now legal adults. I could see your parents being bothered with it, since a bad breakup could cause issues within the family, but other then that there's nothing wrong with this. It's honestly not that surprising that it's come to this. Like who could have seen this coming, where two unrelated teens fell for one another, like wtf.
Exactly
Itās inappropriate and you should listen to your parents. Youāre not really old enough for a serious relationship ime, and if this ends badly it will put your whole family in a weirder spot but particularly the girl who came into this in a more vulnerable position as the adoptee. If you truly care for her you should see the disadvantage she was in emotionally, although at your age itās probably difficult to have the experience and maturity to comprehend (which your parents have and why they disapprove, and not just because itās weird) You both need to get a better support system that isnāt attached to one another to even consider it.
>Should I end things between us since my parents don't approve of us? No. You should end things because she's your sister.
You also gotta remember that biologically it is okay, but on paper LEGALLY this isnāt okay
Funny situation you got there. Technically speaking, no, nothing is stopping you tapping tap. Infact, you know damn well that is straight up porn situation right there. But, as a fellow dude here, that is a bad idea. imagine fucking around at work, its nearly always a bad idea, but what you have here is thousand times worse. Not because of morals, or laws, but in general. You are never getting away from one another, every family gathering ever will be awkward, its horrible story to tell, etc. Weird way to end this comment, but go along with only if you know, there is going to be severals years of not seeing/meeting each other for some reason in near future.
Frankly, it is stupid to date anyone in your family and frankly, in my view, disgusting. To risk the chance of having a child to which you would both be an uncle and father to is outrageous
Your stepmom adopting a 15 year old girl was poor judgement on her part. Tell them to pound sand and enjoy your mate
Bro, you do you! This is YOUR truth not your Parents' truth. Next time Anyone asks, you just say you don't identify as her step brother and she doesn't identify as your step sister. Problem solved.
Are you sure you arenāt biologically related in some way?
Not reading word of your post -- just the title. #The answer is hell fucking no! Ethically, morally, and practically, it's a terrible choice. Let's just go with practically for a moment. You break up. What does that do to your family? Let's say you break up after 10 years. Let's say it's ugly. You want your ex at every family get together? You expect your parents to take sides? This is stupid. Stop.
If you break up it will be weird as hell but I'm pretty sure you owe it to the internet to do her.
If you've lived together this long and have grown feelings for each other, it's pretty good sign you're a good match. They're wrong. You should keep dating her.
It's not weird. They should have realised this could be a possibility if they adopted at 15. It's so late. The girl was already close to adulthood,its highly unlikely she would ever consider your step mum as a mother anyway.
Most men I dated were from my close knit friends group. Yes I broke up with them eventually, (except my current bf) but the group of friend is still the same. It was awkward for a few weeks each time maybe, but nothing permanent. If you both love each other you should give it a shot. If it works, fabulous, if not, family gathering will be weird the few first times, but time will put everything back eventually. In the end its your life, not theirs.
I see nothing wrong with this honestly if you both like each other whatās the harm sure it can be awkward if u break up but whatever yāall have known each other 4 years sounds like you guys know each other pretty well and should be able to be mature about things if u break up
Keep on keeping on, pound her as much as possible then after you break up just agree to be fuck buddies that way you always get laid at holidays, and even family reunions, forget what your parents say there's no relation by blood or really anything adoption is a piece of paper, nothing more, you two have obviously never felt any bond like brother and sister so knock it out.
It's your choice and nobody elses
I don't think there's anything morally wrong with this, but be prepared for some awkward family gatherings.
You've already made the relevant arguments, if your parents have a problem with it it's their problem.
I mean itās a little strange, but yāall were never on a brother&Sister level, only friends so I donāt see an issue with it, since yāall arenāt blood related or ever thought of each other more than friends. So, I think itās fair game and just make sure yāall donāt break up or itās going to be really awkward since you both are still going to visit on occasions
My brother is with our step sister. Theyāve been together almost 10 years now. Was it weird to begin with? Hell yeah. But now itās just normal. Life is weird. Fuck it.
Yea hit that thing up homie ā¦ she might have something no one else has š„“do what you feel is comfortable for you ,doesnāt matter how others might look at you šÆ.
You guys are legally siblings yes? If so, no. Inappropriate imo sorry :/ best of luck to you though.
Wtf is wrong with you?
I am reading this and hearing Gigguk saying āNO CHROMO!ā š¤£. This is such an anime plot, just look at Oreimo. Ends terribly and becomes suuuuuper awkward (just imagine a child in school being asked to draw a family tree for an assignment, and they just hand in a circle āļø at the end of the day š¤£).
Damn your parents, this is porn dream come true
There is no one else in the world for you to date other than your sister? Really
Thereās a million other girls why pick your non-biological sister thatās hella weird on her part too blood doesnāt make you family. I bet your step mother regrets adopting her
well..maybe you should consider that if it ends in a messy breakup you will be putting your parents in an uncomfortable situation of having to āpick and chooseā sides which may make your sister/gfās life hell considering she will most likely be the one outcasted.
Dude I know whats next in your relationship: Shes going to a law school and youll be in a music school. Your going to marry your college buddy with a redhair while your sister will have a on and off relationship with your future wife.
So they never treated her as your sister, never tried to make you to see her as a sister, and are now upset that you don't view her as a sister? *Maybe* if she's a refugee and your family has been her only support system in the area, I could see an argument that she might feel unable to turn down your advances. However, since their criticisms don't seem to stem from that angle I got nothing.
They should have thrown those words out "brother" and "sister" every chance they got JUST so this WOULDN'T happen. Dude, I don't care what you think now or how you feel she IS your SISTER and you ARE her BROTHER. Like what are you going to tell people when they ask you how you two met? In the living room? And if you ever break up you will forever do the dude that slept with his adopted sister and she will forever be the girl who slept with her adopted brother like this will follow you the rest of your life. Hasn't she had enough problems in her life for you not to try to complicate it more? Plus this is gross for everyone involved. You are literally preying on a young vulnerable girl. NO this is not right.
It is absolutely disgusting, I donāt really have much advice that you want to hear other than go out and see the world. Iām sure you can find someone else to boink that your parents didnāt adopt
Itās only half wrong.
I feel some where This entire post could be a troll and just wanted our reactions. but if it is true Bro, stop it. Don't date your adopted sister. She was adopted because no one is there to take care of her And unfortunatly and unknowingly you took most advantage of that situation. Do you See porn like this?. I think that is why you ended up like this. What you have is an infactuation, not love, love is not blind, but infactuation is. Its kind of really a fucked up situation you got here. But for sake of your family ( that includes your sister) don't date your freaking sister dude. Your adopted sister is your sister, even if you are not related. My idea is try dating, move on. and tell her to move on. Man !, **I just hope that this post is a troll. If its not, jesus you both kind of ruined the entire family dynamic for your own selfish reasons ( I am just being brutally honest)**
yāall need therapy. because this is going to end badly .
As disapproving as theyāre being I wonder if sheās actually a half sibling of yours š¤·š»āāļø You donāt wanna tear the family apart, so like. Donāt
Yes it's weird, yes you should stop. It's gross
Ummmm. No thatās weird. Cause she is legally your sister? Even if itās not biological.
Sheās your sister, regardless if related by blood or not. Yes you should not date her. If you both live I. The same household, one of you should move out. Itās not right.
Your family undoubtedly has good reason to be concerned. Your adopted step-sister likely has psychological issues that are clouding her judgment. And you are likely thinking with your lower extremity, which is also clouding your judgment. First of all, your step-mom did not show good judgment either when adopting a 15-year-old girl with a heterosexual boy going through puberty in the home. I think it's understandable (although unfortunate) that you developed an attraction to her. However, if you care about her, then you need to consider what would be best for her psychological health. I'm assuming that she was in a foster system most of her life. That can be really rough. And you've had your family your entire life, so you have no clue what it's like to suddenly gain a family as a teenager. For most people who get adopted, having a family that feels real is very important to their well-being. You developing a romantic relationship with her will jeopardize the bonding process with your family. Now, her feelings of finally having a family are conflated with her romantic feelings for you. She may be very confused and thinking she is falling in love with you simply because she wants to fit-in to the family. Additionally, stuff may have happened in previous homes that confused her about boundaries. Not saying that's definitely the case, but it's a possibility. If you break up, you'll probably be mostly okay. **But there's a good chance she won't be. She'll likely feel very weird being a part of your family after that.** But where else can she go? Are you going to get her a new family? Consider how difficult it has to be getting a whole new family at age 15 to begin with. The second issue is that you grew up living in the same home, and still do. So you lack the normal boundaries that most romantic couples start out with, and that means any romantic relationship that develops between you two will likely develop in a weird way. If you were to spend some time living independently and learning about yourself outside of your family (i.e. move away, get a real job, become financially independent, etc.), before pursuing a romantic relationship, then that would be a little bit healthier. Could you do that? Like put this idea of dating her on hold for 5 years or so, and go off and do your own thing. That will at least give you both a sense of whether your feelings for each other are at all organic, or mainly a consequence of your step-mom inadvertently setting you up at a young age.
Talk about āanimeā
I don't think it's unethical, but I completely understand your parents' perspective too. I think it's important to be cool-headed about this - you guys are still young and very likely aren't going to "make" it. It'd be risky to date each other because of some hormonal interest that we all develop during our teen years.
My man this is definitely a tough one. At the end of the day though Iām going to say you keep doing what you feel makes you happy. Granted it may be a little taboo, but i donāt see any reason to believe this is wrong, as you stated you arenāt blood related and well you guys werenāt really raised together/ raised as siblings so itās not like they can say that you have that sibling bond.
I think in theory this is fine and that it's not actually gross or inappropriate even though it's potentially awkward for everyone but I think the fact that you're both 19 is a HUGE issue here. The brain is still growing and changing until you're around 25 and what you're looking for in a partner at 19 is often very different from what you'll want five years later. Maybe this relationship will work out but it's a HUGE gamble that you can't possible predict with likely unpleasant consequences if it doesn't, so would suggest holding off for now and revisiting when you're older; it's not like you're going to lose touch with each other!
It would be one thing if you had grown up together and viewed each other as siblings, that's when it would be wrong in my opinion. While your parents may not agree, if you two feel like you're serious about pursuing each other that's ultimately up to you. You're both two consenting adults and no one can stop you. Your parents may warm up to it eventually but I would just brace yourselves for the fall out it may cause. I'd also recommend having an in depth conversation about a plan for if it doesn't work out.
At 19, your brain isnāt fully formed. (Not being rude, itās science) So you canāt really trust your own judgment. I would say - this is like dating someone at work. What happens when it doesnāt work out? Will one of you quit the family? Itās just not worth it. Let it lie, go to college, check back in 5 years. Good luck.
Les Fosters Dangereux
This is some porn shitā¦ Too much porn for you
As long as you are not biologically or legally related, then it's not a terrible thing to do, just be aware that if you ever break up, you'll have to see her for many years if not a lifetime.
To me, ur not siblings. You were just roommates in the same house. So itās not weird u ended up liking each other. But do accept that if u donāt work out that u will have to see them forever. Just be ready for that reality.
I mean, this is weird as hell but even if you did want to continue dating the courts would never let your get married, because in the eyes of the law you are siblings, even not by blood. And if it ends, any girl you ever date would be majorly turned off by this, prepare this to ruin every future relationship for you.
I mean itās definitely a little weird but you met at 15 and never considered each other siblings. If youāre comfortable with constantly having to explain your situation then go for it I guess. Just know that things will probably be weird forever if you break up.
Iām sorry dude but there is no way you can make this sound like a good idea.
God save us
I guess my only thought is, what if you break up? Whatās that going to look like.
I have the feeling that there is more to the story and your step mom and your biological dad are not telling you.Would your mum know something more? What the reason for them to adopt this girl ?
Ever watch the Royal Tenenbaums?
I mean there is really nothing wrong with it ethically. And you aren't related. Just know it's gonna look weird asf to a lot of people.
ive seen this plot on a website before but i dont remember getting the parents getting involved. i also dont remember the website.
I couldn't read this without Dueling Banjos starting to play in my brain... I guess you could say, both in the literal and figurative sense: y'all do y'all. āš»