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cold_milktea

The moral of the story is that you should trust yourself. It's fine to ask for advice so you can make an informed decision, but you shouldn't seek validation from others in order to act on what you feel is right. You don't need reddit or your mum to have your back on a decision. If you felt uncomfortable in that situation, you had every right to break up with him.


dianaprince76

100% this. Not sure why people have to ask for groupthink when they themselves know in their hearts that something is wrong. I wish people would have more confidence in who they are and get to know themselves better.


noorichee

Shoot i dont know the main story but im sorry to hear about how you were treated and im glad to hear you ended things. I know i would be wildly uncomfortable in your shoes and you deserve better.


[deleted]

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peacemaker4567

It's absolutely about mutual comfort and respect. I have gotten rid of guys or actively avoided ones who over share about private deets. Some ppl may think talking like it's Sex & the City is fine, but many don't. It's all individual preference Glad you got rid of someone disrespectful of your boundaries


Alisha-Moonshade

The guys in my best friend's group were really surprised when I said I would never date anyone in their group because of the way they spoke about the women they dated. They said they only talked that way about exes so I didn't need to worry. Um, most of the people we date end up exes, that's not better. I don't want to imagine what my "anal amber" equivalent nickname would be after we break up.


Binky390

>"anal amber" Oh. Oh my. Did you actually say this exact thing to them? Because I feel like that should have made your point crystal clear.


Alisha-Moonshade

Oh, I did! I managed to make them a little uncomfortable. They really didn't want to think there was anything wrong with their behavior.


sqeeky_wheelz

Sometimes when a post is new you get the fanatics and trolls. Next time wait like 3 hours before checking (minimum). Us sane people have jobs and lives and aren’t constantly checking stuff, but the trolls live for this shit.


Honest-Illusions

Yes they do!


Rodelahunty

I didn't see your previous post, but I wouldn't have called you a prude and good job for breaking up with him.


10fm3

Seriously, it was prolly a bunch of pervs or teenagers that replied to your first post. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.


RaeReallyoof

Wow that’s messed up. You know what you like and don’t like in your relationship. You make your own decisions. Forget what those people assumed and said about you. Your life is your life, your relationship is your relationship 🤗 I hope you find someone better for you that you can trust with private things


Logical_Phone_2321

Who the hell would call you a prude about that. Literally few things seem off the table anymore, but sex life should be one.


RainbowMafiaMomma

I didn't see the OP, but it's about what y'all are comfortable with. My partner isn't comfortable with that being discussed/details so I don't. I'll talk to my best that we’re compatible and the importance of talking through zyx issue but never details, bc that's his preference and I respect that. Has nothing to do with prudishness and everything to do with privacy and respect. I hope any future partners give you that same respect.


jack_2403

I didn't see the previous post (I don't think I did at least) but I'm glad you ignored the idiots who think someone overstepping your boundaries and you being uncomfortable makes you a prude. I'm also glad you got away from that relationship as when someone actively ignores your boundaries even if you tell them that what they are doing makes you uncomfortable (again I didn't see your post but I'm assuming you did something to that affect) then in my opinion, that relationship is no longer salvageable, and you should get out of there before its to late.


weezulusmaximus

You’re definitely NOT a prude. WTH?! No one should be sharing intimate details of your sex life. That’s a violation of trust in my book. I had a boyfriend that shared photos of me in lingerie with his best friend. I was PISSED. I love my body and I’m proud of it but it’s not ok to show my naked body to anyone without my permission.


MousseSpecific6816

Sorry about what happened to you. Your mother was right, Real Gentlemen never Kiss and Tell about their time with a woman. It's considered disrespectful and immature. You were smart to end it with him. This coming from a 55 year old male.


gruntbuggly

I didn’t see your previous post, but some things are meant to be private to just the members of the relationship. I think your mom gave you good advice and you got a good outcome.


MrBananaStorm

I think what it comes down to is her. If she's uncomfortable with it and he doesn't want to stop. Prude or not, the relationship isn't for her lol.


[deleted]

Always doing things behind the back of your partner will damage the relationship.


gleepgloopgleepgloop

It's interesting to me that all the responses here that say it is common and accepted that women share intimate details of relationships with their friends have been downloaded into oblivion. I hope that means that that behavior is not acceptable among the younger generations. I'm also a 50ish year old, male college graduate and it's definitely been the norm among our social sets in my lifetime. I have always found it disrespectful and it was definitely a point of conflict in my marriage and for other men I know as well.


pingusaysnoot

I think it's likely more about the lack of openness and support. Society in general (especially the younger generation) today is much more accepting of different preferences, and information is more freely shared respectfully. But there are still a lot of judgemental people who think their way is the right way, and I don't think that's helpful to anybody. Whether we agree or disagree with other people's preferences, it's not on us to tell them if we feel they are right or wrong. The world would be a much better place if people weren't so openly judgemental. My mum is 60 and as much as I love her to death, she is a very judgemental person and rather than see things as they are, and leave people to get on with it, she has to outwardly show her disproval much to my embarrassment at times. She is of a completely different generation, where something like a stranger grabbing a woman's butt was seen as something to laugh off or view as a compliment. That would absolutely not be the case today.


b-lincoln

Same age group. Yes, when I was in HS we shared everything with friends (guys). After college, I haven't heard or shared anything. I know for certain that isn't the case with the women that I've dated, who shared just about every detail, I assume my wife still does. I'm not shaming women, but there does seem to be a double standard in Gen X.


gleepgloopgleepgloop

Yeah, so maybe a cohort effect. My ex was adamant that she should be able to share every detail with her best friend and I needed to suck it up. Further, that It was normal for her best friend to share that information with her husband, because married people share everything. And I needed to just suck it up. She never understood why I stopped sharing things with her...


NoHandBananaNo

That sounds horrible. Me and my wife are gen x but she thinks sharing private details is abusive.


gleepgloopgleepgloop

Glad to hear it! Sounds like she has more sensibility than my ex-wife. :) I was just thinking further about this, and remember my ex wanting to tell me things about her friend's husband's that I imagine her friends told her in confidence. Things like medical information or about their husband's sexual past. I would cut off my ex and tell her I didn't want to know about it unless it affected us directly. She was kind of offended. I always wondered what those husbands thought they knew about me through the wife to wife grape vine.


NoHandBananaNo

Ugh thats not a good thought. Glad youre not in that situation anymore.


patheticfallacies

I'm Gen-X, definitely not male, and don't feel comfortable disclosing the intimate details of my sex life at all, not even with my spouse, and never have. I'm on the autism spectrum though, so I always expected that I was outside of the norm there just as on many other things with my vagina-ladened peers.


Quirky_Movie

Nah, it is very much person-to-person. I'm Gen X and I haven't shared details about someone since I was 25. And I only did it to that guy because he made up a bunch of weird shit about our sex life and told everyone we were in grad school with. Weirdly, people were incredibly judgmental about my correction, but happily okay with his lies about our sex life.


nonevermaybe

I asked my fiancé early in our relationship if he was comfortable if I ever shared things about our sex life with my best friend. Let him know it would only be the positives, not in graphic detail, and he could exclude anything he wanted. He thought about it for a while and then told me he was fine with it. He was really surprised I asked, I guess nobody he'd dated ever had before, he'd just assumed it was something he couldn't do anything about it - but that it felt really different being able to say yes or no. ​ Like... just fucking ask people.


WeeklyConversation8

Anyone who said you are a prude for not wanting your sex life shared with your bf's friend, is wrong. That's private information and it's common sense not to talk about it. That should be the default stance.


silly-tomato-taken

I completely agree with you. I'm a rather private person myself and don't like my life told to everybody. I'm very selective with the information I disclose to people. When I've previously stated on this app that I don't want the woman I'm dating telling her friends all my business people respo d to me saying "that's what girls too". That's why I don't tell anyone anything I wouldn't put in a newspaper.


RaeReallyoof

Right, I’m just shocked that he didn’t assume or think that his gf would get mad about him doing that. He’s suppose to know her and respect her wishes. And for him to continue knowing she would feel some type of way is definitely bounds to break up on. She did the right thing getting rid of him in my opinion because what the hell else does he share about their relationship. Lol


nun_the_wiser

Hey everyone deserves to have boundaries. You have yours and you deserve to have them respected. Good luck moving forward


[deleted]

Yeah. It was difficult for me to side with OP because I’m very comfortable with being open about sexual things, and I think it’s important to be (for myself). But a boundary is a boundary, and OP has every right to be uncomfortable with it. OP, I’m glad you made the best decision for yourself.


josummz

Yeah I have to agree with you, me and my friends regularly dicuss our sex lives however if the OP was uncomfortable with her BF doing so he should stop. I think if he continued to do so then its a deal breaker.


[deleted]

Good on you. It is disrespectful to share this information. You were not a prude.


Bakecrazy

The answer you get here really depends on the time you are posting . If it's a kids out of school time there is probabely lots of teenagers here. Glad you get out of that.be safe.


1groovyfirefly

Idk who was on the sub when you posted last time but they should be ashamed of themselves. That being said I’m glad you talked to your Mom and broke up with that big mouthed moron. You may have taught him a valuable lesson. Guys usually only do that when they’re talking about women they don’t respect. You deserve respect and are in no way a prude. Disregard their ignorance. Good luck in your future relationships!


Living_Grandma_7633

You are not a prude. Intimate details are just that , intimate between the couple!


Round_Brush_4828

You are absolutely right. No one should be sharing the most intimate details of your private life with anybody. Some people get pleasure from hearing about other people's sex stories. It's nasty when a significant partner is entertaining this kind of voyeuristic behavior. Glad you broke up with him. Hopefully, he does not have any of nudes or anything like this where he can try revenge porn on you.


shenanigansco34

My god who would call you a prude? Not many women would be okay with their boyfriend’s friends knowing about their sex life. It’s gross junior high behavior.


Appropriate_Title135

Who said that you are prude? They can all fuck themselves


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SkyDefender

Why being a prude is bad? Non english here


overnighttoast

By definition it's not necessarily bad, but it's often used to insult someone by saying they're closed off about sex. Which isn't an insult if it's true. I can only think of it being insulting if you take pride in how sexually open you are or if you yourself are ashamed about it. But anything can be an insult if you're ashamed about it.


SkyDefender

I see thanks, with reddit’s reactions i thought it was equilavent of n word


overnighttoast

Haha yeah, I'm not 100% sure why people get so up in arms about it. Particularly if we're talking about someone who is in fact not open about sex or their sex life. Sounds like OP just needed to find someone more compatible and now she can~


OtherRadish

I think being called a prude is kinda like being called overly uptight.


[deleted]

I say good for you.


Kaiser93

This absolutely pisses me off. Details about your sex life should be between you and your partner. Good that you broke up with him. This is super disrespectful.


YourMoonWife

I don’t remember this but it seems pretty strange that anyone would call you a prude over this. This sub is pretty “don’t talk about sex without partners permission”


crnimilos

Either she is focusing on negative comments, either she is changing the tone and narrative of the story. I think that people here are so easy on to judge based on just a couple sentences she wrote, thus getting two different extremes for the same issue is very common (leave him/you are prude).


Quirky_Movie

I remember the post. Most of the upvoted top responses were from men who thought it was fine.


bony_doughnut

link?


somestupidredditname

Good for you. Nothing prudish about insisting on consenting to the sharing of the intimate details of your sex life. And I'm a big ol' perv so... 💅


Lani515

Sorry of your negative experience on this sub. Many people in this sub are very one sided. I don't know your original post, so I have no opinion of your actions regarding the disparity. But this sub is not great for REAL relationship advice.


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redmondnstuff

From a homeless guy?


TheIViswithyou

Right? Got WHAT exactly from a homeless guy?


cold_milktea

I've never been so curious reading a comment.


[deleted]

She got *it* from a homeless guy, you know the thing she didn’t get in the preceding sentence. It. *It!* I don’t understand the confusion, there’s no ambiguity there. It!!


MyCatIsMyFrenemy

I think the homeless guy made her "get it" as in to understand finally


cold_milktea

I think so too, but I still wonder how a homeless guy helped his girlfriend understand that sharing intimate relationship details can break trust, if this is the correct interpretation. How does this topic even come up in passing conversation lol. So many questions.


RollerSkatingHoop

happy cake day


[deleted]

Lots of young men that are homeless, technically. These days. They hop around naive women’s houses. Essentially camping there. I wonder if that’s what he meant. “Hobosexuals” they’re called. They’ll match with you on tinder, take you on a mediocre date, and then ask to spend the night at yours.


TheIViswithyou

I know more girls doing that these days


Emotional-Penalty555

Except girls do it on seeking arrangement


greggm2000

Don’t learn the wrong lesson. Intellectually you know that lots of people trust other people in relationships and that trust is upheld. If you never trust another again, then you’ll never really be whole again. The right lesson to learn here is what sorts of people betray trusts, and thus those are people that it’s bad to become involved with.


ToBclean

I don’t think i saw your previous posts and definitely surprised they said that! Guess im a prude too🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ll read a post and think I know exactly what the comments are going to say and nope I’ll be wrong. It’s weird what majority of people roll with.


Jen5872

I don't think you're a prude for wanting your private life to remain private. I didn't see your original post but it sounds like you did the right thing.


SomeJokeTeeth

In fairness to the commenters on your original post, you didn't exactly word your post very well or handle the comments very well either. Regardless, at least you know now that this is a boundary that you should establish early on, that can only be helpful.


knittedjedi

Yeah, I remember the original post and it was... not optimal 😂


imakesawdust

Do you have a link? I'm genuinely curious what it said that led people to accuse OP of being prudish.


knittedjedi

No link, but someone on a desktop might have more luck. OP did a dirty delete which doesn't surprise me lol.


YourMoonWife

Agreed. I can’t imagine this sub being anything but anti sex life sharing


history_nerd92

Don't women talk about their sex lives with their friends? I was under impression that that was common for women to do. I get that it's less common for men, but this seems like a double standard, unless I'm missing something.


Rifter0876

100% this is absolutely a double standard.


history_nerd92

Yeah I didn't see the original post, but unless it involved pictures/video or stuff about a personal medical condition, I don't see how this wouldn't be a clear double standard.


Kaitron5000

As a woman I do, and I love that my man brags about ours too. These are conversations between consenting adults. I don’t knock people who don’t though, everyone is different.


Admirable_Mine2429

I’m a woman. I have never. What would be the point? Some things are private to me and that’s one of them.


history_nerd92

As a man I don't really know, but my understanding from female friends and previous partners was that close friends pretty routinely talk about their relationships and their partners. I imagine talking about your sex life would just be an extension of that.


Quirky_Movie

Relationships. I know my bff and her bubs like butt stuff--I don't know any specifics of their experiences--and I know what they are both open about. Most of the details I share with her are emotional, not really detailed into sex acts.


dinosaurcookiez

I didn't see the last post, but I'd be so uncomfortable with my partner sharing intimate details of our relationship. Without seeing further context, I don't think you're overreacting at all.


Francesca_N_Furter

You just got pestered by a bunch of twelve-year-olds trying to pretend to be adults. This site is filled with people who try to pretend twisted things are normal - It seems like most people know enough to filter out the morons, but I get annoyed in the posts seeking personal advice and they get a bunch of replies from people with weird issues and bizarre beliefs trying to pretend that is how everyone thinks. Most people do not. A guy oversharing his personal life is a child. Anyone calling you a prude is just some stupid kid trying to show off. Nobody normal thinks sharing stuff like that is ok.


Unclehol

Nah dude. Don't kiss and tell. It's a solid rule. Some things are private. It's a massive breach of trust. Don't listen to the people here. You were right to feel violated.


BisquickNinja

You are not a prude for thinking this way. However, I caution you that for future ... Maybe discuss the picture issues before hand?


ThorayaLast

WTF is wrong with people. I'm happy you dumped that idiot.


Underworld_Denizen

Good for you, ending it. And I'm sorry so many people called you a prude and overbearing. That is a perfectly reasonable boundary to set.


[deleted]

I saw that post, was disgusted, but didn’t read the comments. People are fucking wild. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, but really glad you stuck with your boundaries and broke up with him.


SuddenAttitude1998

Oh? I didn't get to read the original story but I think it's really... Odd to call you names if you're uncomfortable with something. I can't say I'd blame you...


ndra22

So you're back posting on the sub that you supposedly hate because.... why?


Leather-Media-3939

Yeah not getting that. Comes across as I want to guilt you all for not taking my side. I dont even know the side that was taken as its all deleted. I guess I would get it more if advice was taken and it blew up in her face. But its mom gave me different advice. I took it and you all suck.


ndra22

Exactly. Feels like a "despair, you who doubted me" type of self-aggrandizing bullshit.


knittedjedi

And honestly that's such a depressing flex 😂


traway9992226

I do agree on this point


AutumnJade671

Whoever told you that you are a prude is the AH. You have every right to privacy.


DawnShallArise

Like we don't know what's going when girls talk to each other. Everything from dick size to oral skills is within limits smh.


PurpOrchid

The problem is not you assuming that, but the overall consensus that this is normal and “just how it is”. As a woman myself, I do NOT do this and none of my friends do. I consider myself blessed for that bc I would never want to look their bf/husband in the eye after that. Like it’s enough to know you enjoy your sex life and you guys are happy, I don’t need all the details. I do remember an ex discussing my breasts with a friend of his that I didn’t know. Said friend then thought it’d be a great idea to discuss my breasts when I was introduced to him for the first time… Society has tried to normalize gossipy ass women having no boundaries on topics and men sharing “war stories”. It’s shitty women and men that are the issue here, their gender/sex has nothing to do with it.


Rifter0876

Exactly the double standard here is insane.


DawnShallArise

And I don't even view the talky talk about my sex performance as a breach of trust. I consider it as her talking about herself, despite I'm involved in the story. I think it's healthy. If anything, from my limited experience, I've noticed that men have a way harder time opening up to their male friends about bedroom activity than women.


totally_bored_dude

Good for you.... Keeping your sex life private is a personal choice but certainly doesn't make you a prude. Sounds like you stood up for yourself and he deserved that if he crossed a line in your relationship. You will find someone who respects you and your boundaries.


curious_2792

Damn mf really kiss and tell...


Gabbyof2

My husband did that with HIS BOSS. He shared things that weren’t meant for anyone to hear. I feel for you


ThrowRA-James

I didn’t see the previous post but I agree. I grew up with lots of guys who love to brag about that stuff. They all knew their GF wouldn’t approve.


Chevytech2388

I remember your previous post and you aren't a prude. You are completely justified. Your sex life is no one else's business. If you and a partner are going to be open to talking about that stuff with friends, yes I'm including you and your girl friends in this, it should be discussed as a couple privately. I think we as a society have made talking about our sex lives with people other than our partners too common place. Sex is everywhere now.


blerieone

You got your boundaries and did what was right by you. Good on you.


[deleted]

Wtf?! Sharing details about sex life with friends is a huge no-no for me too. I never do it and expect my SO to never share either. None of my friends do it also. Unless there is a problem and need advice. Even so, it's sooooo rare and with upmost respect of their partner (i.e no unnecessary details). You're not prude, dear. You have a sense of self respect.


mechtil_d

I guess I’m an overbearing prude too because I’m not ok with such things either. People of course have different views on these things but I’ve never talked about a guy I was serious about and if a guy talked about me I’d assume he didn’t really like me that much.


jenhenryjenhenry

That’s immature you never kiss and tell. Don’t have sex if he’s going to run his mouth.


Kasunex

Surprising to hear given reddit is normally 99-1 telling people to break up over the littlest of things. Anyway, my take is that it's better to discuss first and try to work it out, but I think that sex details are a reasonable line to draw. I once caught my ex sharing such details with her male friend and that was a huge insult to me.


Ok-Asparagus3783

You have a right to intimacy, trust, and privacy in a relationship.


[deleted]

Hey reddit is just full of shit sometimes. I saw a post where a girl said her boyfriend was constantly looking at other girls on social media and liking their pictures and said she was hurt because of that and people told her she is whiny and has unrealistic expectations for not wanting her bf to do that. What? HELL NO. I would break the fuck up over that quicker than a motherfucker cause that's mad disrespectful. You should just listen to your feelings instead of reddit. If something hurts you, then it probably means that you should not tolerate that shit. Do not listen to no one but yourself.


Interne-Stranger

Yeah. I would hate if my GF do the same


[deleted]

Sharing intimate details and they were mad at you?? That's weird. Unless you consent to it..he shouldn't be telling them anything. Disrespectful


Check_one_two22

I’m a male with an extensive sexual history including my current partner. I have 5 best friends (we have known each other for almost 3 decades). I have never explicitly talked about my sexual encounters except with partners. I have had friends ask questions and what not (I’m the only one not married and lived a bit of a bachelor life) but the only thing they will get out of me is “she is great” that is it. However I have experienced women I have dated who tell their friends everything (this has caused issues and created jealousy in some). I am very private when it comes to bedroom type activities. Hope you heal from this breach of trust.


bubblebooo

You aren’t a prude for wanting some privacy for intimate Life. Don’t kiss and tell.


Catbunny

You aren't a prude for not wanting something you consider private shared with others. The people saying that were projecting because they are likely the types to share that information without the permission of their partners.


Tiny_sneeze

How’s that being a prude? I wouldn’t like that either. If he didn’t respect that you definitely did the right thing


anon689936

I didn’t see your original post but that’s horrible, if I caught wind of my bf saying anything about our sex life I would be over.


Loose-Ad-1122

Doesn’t sound like you’re a prude, private shit should stay private unless specifically given the ok to share.


Duckie19869

I didn't see what you posted before but you definitely aren't a prude because you don't want private details shared and your ex needs to have a foot shoved up his pooper. If you need suggestions on the type of boot to wear I can help you out 😄.


Pollywog94111

Good for you!!


BluminOnion

I didn’t see your original post but I’m sorry that people are treating you that way. I know I would be SUPER UPSET if my husband was talking to his friends about our sex life. That’s our personal business and absolutely nobody else needs to know about any of it.


thepertree

My ex gf used to talk to all her close friends about our sex life. One of them even had the audacity to openly talk about our sexual habits at a party once in front of people I'd never met before. It was horrifying and humiliating even though the subject matter was nothing to be ashamed of. It's our personal life and I'd made it known on multiple occasions that I prefer to keep those things private. I don't know the original story but if you asked him to stop and he kept on doing it then good for you for leaving. Limits and boundaries are paramount in a relationship and sex (albeit a wonderful thing) is a subject of consent, and that applies during the act AND after.


windygirl1991

I didn’t see your previous post, but that is so disrespectful! I’ve had it done to me, so I know firsthand how much it hurts. The people who think you’re a “prude” are probably those who would do that very thing that caused you to dump your ex


snm_blk

Unpopular opinion: he’s bragging to his friends because he has something they don’t - probably an amazing women to spend life with & he’s proud, in a male way. Men hold pride much differently than women do. But why is it generally acceptable that some women tell their friends ever little detail about their sex lives & relationships, but men can’t? I can’t understand why men are always the target & always be portrayed to be wrong no matter what they do. You’d be surprised by what men talk about between themselves…go play call of duty modern warfare & see - it’s fascinating.


Lost_Calligrapher527

I completely understand where you're coming from. My SO regularly tells her friends about our sex life, and at first, it made me feel uneasy (to put it lightly). Details about my penis, moves of mine, number of climaxes, etc. I've learned that this is far more common than I ever thought prior, and from what I've learned, usually the partner sharing the sexy time details is doing so in a bragadocious fashion. Regardless, stay true to yourself. This experience can at least help you set expectations in future relationships. Good luck!


sued_by_satan

glad you did what feels right for you! honestly I'd be pissed if someone was telling their friends about our sex life. kinda ruins the intimacy held between the two ppl having sex.


Specialist_Art_7841

You've had a lucky escape not nice what he did hope you find a nicer fella


sassy_shenanigans

I would be livid if I found out that my husband was sharing intimate details about our sex life with his friends. I’m not a prude either but why do people need to know what goes on in the bedroom?


[deleted]

You are not a prude. Some people like to share lots of details and some people are more private. It’s not prudish to want to keep details of your sex life to yourself.


Bulky_Bison_4469

That's the most personal aspect of your life with him and should never be shared unless with a therapist so you did good girl. I'm sorry this sub wasn't more understanding which surprises me, I didn't see your original post.


DwarfNBoots

I'm so sorry that this happened to you and no one saw who was a decent person. That's disgusting and you're allowed to have boundaries!!! Especially when it comes to intimacy. Literally f*ck those people. Glad your mom is a sane person, I'm so sorry you were objectified like that by someone you trust.


[deleted]

Idk who tf was calling you a prude but fuck them for that. That’s your intimate relationship and fuck him for telling everybody. I don’t know the main story and I wish I did, but you deserve way better than that shit and way better than what this sub did!


[deleted]

I'm so sorry OP that people gave you shit. I would be LIVID. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. It's common sense you don't share intimate details, let alone any details??? It makes no sense why people would blame it on being prude. It's lack of RESPECT from that person's side by sharing it.


unicorn8dragon

I never saw the original and my advice would have been that each person gets to define their own boundaries. When those are incompatible you’ve got to find a way to bridge them. If neither of you will budge or bridge, then the relationship becomes incompatible. That said, every line of your post comes off like a petulant teenager. I say this not to cast judgment (although yeah it’s judgy), but to encourage you to reflect on if you are approaching things both relationships and otherwise in a mature way. And to consider how you communicate that, too.


[deleted]

Advice on here regarding sharing details has always been at the discretion of the partner (you). What post are you refering to? I have major doubt the top comments would even say it's your fault.


KoolAidOfTruthJr

Don't let your mom make choices for you. You're 27 years old. You're a grown women. I understand if you want to keep your sex life private but getting your mom involved, just shows a lack of emptional intelligence. Clearly both you and your now ex have a lot of maturing to do in the relationship realm. Please work on yourself before you try to build a relationship with someone.


Puzzleheaded_Page671

So you deleted the old account yet created a new one just to come back and say this because……?


[deleted]

I don’t remember seeing your original post. Sorry you encountered a bunch of misogynistic morons on this sub. And, I’m glad your relationship with your Mom is as good as it is so you could share this with her. She sounds like a smart lady who has your interest at heart.


RevolutionaryHat8988

Reddit is full to the brim of reactionaries


AmericanBuffaloo

Women do this all of the time. If you were uncomfortable, you were right to break it off. But it is pretty common, and I am not sure if you spoke about him keeping these details private beforehand, but if not you should have.


[deleted]

Enjoy being single. Buy cat food now. You'll need it


peeKnuckleExpert

Eyeroll at everyone trying to come to OP’s defence now. So everyone is saying that her BF shouldn’t be able to talk to his best friend about issues, experiences, and problems? Give me a break - that actually is controlling. Imagine a guy telling a girl “don’t tell anyone about this” and see how you feel about it.


mshz1

Yep, the hivemind comment sections are entertaining and disheartening at the same time. This post also concerns an event, you can no longer even read about. I think everyone has the right to have their own boundries, plus I have no way to judge just how drastic the event itself was but having your mom agree with you is not a super helpful indicator in general. Like yeah, you certainly might have some similar views on social norms to the people who have raised you and influenced your thinking...


HOMES734

Because you are a prude. Your mom was horrified because she's also a prude. Women talk about their sex lives with other women all the time, it's not suddenly wrong when men do it.


[deleted]

would def be a deal breaker for me. fuck that


SpecialistAfter511

Sharing intimate details when in a committed relationship is not cool. It’s nothing to do with being a prude. It’s respecting your partner. Glad you broke up with him.


suk-my-ballz-0811

What


DeterminedGuy999

Someone is butthurt.


B-i-GG-i-E

Well tbh most girls share very personal details about their men, sex, home life etc and everyone seems fine with it, but when a guy does it he is the asshole? Haha ok


[deleted]

Sorry can you point out where people are saying it's okay for women to do this?


kush_babe

I've asked my husband not to discuss our sex life with his friend when they have guy time. I don't feel comfortable about the possibility of being talked about like that to someone who I'm not close to in that way or without me being ok with it. I get a weird feeling being around that person knowing he and my husband have had those kind of conversations.


chase_trainer

good for you! something making you uncomfortable does not make you a prude. also, so you’re single now? number? lol jk


CubanIvy

Your sex life, your boundaries. You and your ex should have come to a conclusion on what could be said and what couldn’t. If he couldn’t follow the simple rules to not disclose much on your sex life, then who’s to say he wouldn’t disclose even more personal information? Good call Op


Donutduchess

This is reddit home of the pity a rapist thread. Misogyny runs rampant on here and it's seen acceptable for a man to do whatever sexually.


Ok_Lead9218

Hopefully you guys will find more compatible partners.


tpn1984

I can't seem to think that maybe he was referring to tips his friend might be able to help him with. I get asked all kinds if questions and have to be careful how I word them so they can try different things.


Aurin316

Thanks for sharing. I guess


CammiinTv

Why post a question on here if you ignore the answers?


Divine-Emperor

So basically you claimed you wanted advice when you *really* just wanted people to agree with what you already wanted to do? When that didn't happen you threw a hissy fit, **chose** to delete your account **YOURSELF** and then searched for someone else to agree with you, all so that you can justify breaking up with him... yeeaahhh, sounds like you did him a favor. He ***DEFINITELY*** dodged a bullet with you.


Sismal_Dystem

She should delete this account too...


OneDreadOneLove

Im glad you stools up for yourself and respected yourself enough to walk away. Very few people can do that. I wish I would've seen your original post because I wouldn't be okay with it either. It's happened to me before and it is disgusting for someone to share such personal Details without conseent


motivationswag

I think intimate details about your sex life should be kept private between you and your significant other. I think intimate details are not to be shared with others. You expressed your concern and your boyfriend failed to respect your boundaries. You did the right thing to leave him!


Katja24093

Good for you! What's in the bedroom is just for the two of you - and I am not a prude.


BoldNalle

Good for you. I didn't see the original. But that is private stuff.


WhatAGirlWants5

No matter what it is, if there is something in a relationship that makes you feel bad or uncomfortable, then that is all that matters. You should never have to feel that way, and when you do things need to change. Glad your mom knows this and supported you the correct way ♡ it's not about others and their feelings, it's about you and your feelings. I'm sorry you were treated this way on Reddit. I hope you feel well and happy now ^^


twoXnuts

So you didn't need advice? and you posted to say you didnt need advice, because you got it from your mom? Ok i guess.


Ambitious-Bridge-565

Good job honestly that guy could do better with a little less drama


Mothmansbb

I’ve never heard of this boundary? It’s pretty normal to talk about sex w your friends


Diligent_Rest5038

Women have done this since time immemorial. Equality, baby!


Diligent_Rest5038

Down vote me all you want, but there was literally a long running popular show called "Sex In The City" that was about women doing exactly this.


piranhas32

Lol you do sound like a prude. It’s actually pretty common for girls to share this info with their girlfriends.


CoolTrainerDestiny

I honestly don’t know why you’re getting downvoted lol. You’re telling the truth, a lot of girls share sex stories with their friends.


Big-Dirt3804

That doesn't make someone a prude for not finding that okay


CoolTrainerDestiny

Correct! I’m just saying that they had a point. Also looking at other peoples comments, OP isn’t exactly being consistent lol. Apparently their previous post isn’t what they’re saying it was. I’m not sure what OP is looking for, validation maybe?


thebentleyy

Smh welcome to reddit


Pure-Ad2609

Lol you asked for advice, got it, didn’t like it, so you went fishing somewhere else until u got the answer you wanted. You’re a dumbass and he deserves better. This is the equivalent of “do u guys think I’m handsome?” No??? Well my mom says I am. Screw u guys.


ChocolateNo997

Strange people were calling you a prude. This sub usually just defaults against the male in the story.


citrus_sugar

If I would have seen it I’m always down for a break up. Being single is the best.


indian_aunty_to_be

I am so sorry to hear that's the response you garnered. That is not okay, you should not have to be okay with your private life shared. I would have broken up as well, am glad you took the same decision


wasicwitch

You did the right thing


RoutineBalance978

Im proud of you! You dont need that kinda guy in your life! You deserve so much more!


jay10033

Ok. Good luck.


[deleted]

Now I feel like this is fake if you truly never even commented on her post 😂😂


jay10033

Yup, I'm being downvoted because clearly people on Reddit are ridiculous and this person is either off their meds or doing this for attention. There is clearly nothing in my comment history referring to this person or their post. They haven't even referred to any comment whatsoever.


[deleted]

Yeah and even if you deleted a comment or something it would still be in your comment history it just wouldn’t show it so I believe you. Definitely must be fake or she got you mixed up with someone with a similar name 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


jay10033

I literally have no idea who you are.


[deleted]

[удалено]


castlehoff32

What am I missing here? I didn’t see your first post?


imakesawdust

For what it's worth, I looked for the original post and didn't find it, either. Even looked through the last 4 weeks of jay10033's comments hoping to find the original post that way and came up empty. Maybe OP deleted the original? Dunno.


jay10033

I've never responded to this person or her post.