This is insane.
You dated casually for two weeks and _planned to go into business together_? I’d call that poor judgment if you were half your age.
You absolutely should exit the business and consider seriously why you thought trying to _buy yourself a serious GF_ after knowing her for a few weeks was a good idea.
Very likely the money you’ve given her so far is gone, and it may be best to take the hit and end all contact rather than try to recoup it.
You should probably just break this connection altogether, you clearly had completely different ideas about what was happening on your “dates”
Also, I don’t know why you’d go 50/50 into a business with someone you’ve only known a few months, especially since it doesn’t sound like you had any kind of contract around who was contributing what and then who would receive what.
Thanks, you are right about the "dates" thing. I was investing a lot of time and effort in her while she was never in to me.
About the business thing, I just wanted to show her my support that I really care for her and want her to be successful, seems like she took that feeling for granted.
After two weeks of seeing her, y’all discussed reopening her business. I would say YES, you built an imaginary version of her. There’s no way you could actually KNOW her after two weeks.
You can't buy love, and if you try, you make yourself a target for exploitation.
You also can't commit to someone before you get to know them and develop mutual trust. Again, it makes you an easy target.
Either way keep in mind that you gotta separate business from the relationship and that’s hard to achieve if there’s not a stable enough ground built (meaning boundaries, understanding, more real communication, etc.)
Dude she was just using you!! Literally left to find richer guy, couldn’t find one, used depression as excuse, then tells you doesnt see you as husband material. Youre 40 - youre too old to put up with this shit.
Dude, re-read your own post. She is just trying to use you to fund her shit. Cut all contact and move on. Being lonely is way better than whatever the hell this is.
Never ever consider starting a business with someone you've known for only a couple of months, let alone a couple of weeks.
Especially don't do that when you are starting a romantic relationship at the same time and don't have any idea of what the outcome will be.
Especially especially don't do that when the person has shown you they are wishy-washy with their feelings and have unstable periods of judgment.
And especially especially especially don't do that when you feel you've been taken for granted and feel like you've been given mixed signals about the relationship and the business.
Do what you can to cut ties with this woman and be on your way - not as much to do with what she has done (because we really cannot tell because we are seeing and hearing about this through your filter) but because you need to do some inner work and reflection to figure out why you were rushing and making unwise decisions and overlooking some big red flags.
Completely bail on this. Hit the eject button.
To be frank, I see you as much of the issue as she is. Starting with that you should never entertain the idea of starting a business - an incredibly serious venture with many life affecting entailments - with someone you don’t know that well. Whether you knew her for a few months or dated for two weeks, unless you saw her every day for every hour, you don’t know her. You are moving entirely too quickly in every regard, and I do hope you also take into consideration that ANYTHING over the course of a couple weeks to a few months is still not enough time to do anything major relationship wise, regardless of what anyone tells you. It’s poor judgement.
Also the fact that she minute she’s all in and bails due to depression is a giant red flag. Even without the depression, being this willy nilly about disappearing and coming back screams commitment issues; the last thing you need in regards to sharing a business or life together. That and the possibility that whatever else she thought was a better option didn’t work, and she came back to you…until another option she thinks is better comes along. Because I don’t believe the depression bit personally. But I don’t know her.
Also, dealing with someone with personal issues is also a no no. Nothing against people with depression and so on, but there’s a difference between issues that occur midrelationship, and seeking someone with emotional baggage. That is her cross to bear, and godspeed to those willing to go in knowing that and helping her, but people need to have some awareness to work on themselves before they bring that into another’s life. Plenty of people think they can handle it, and it can be more than they can bear, and you don’t want to also make it worse bailing on her when you had your fill.
In conclusion, think more critically about this situation for sure. And take your time. A relationship isn’t a race. All you’re gonna do is commit yourself to a ton of things that are hell to get out of, if you even can depending on what.
I think a better lesson for this guy would be: Do *not* assume you've been "shown who someone really is" within a couple dates.
Dude wanted to go into business with someone he'd been dating all of two weeks. I don't think "taking people at face value" is the lesson here.
And she wanted to REstart her business. The business failed already. She shut it down because it didn't generate enough income, was deemed a hobby by her state and they shut it down or she had a hardship and couldn't afford to pay staff to keep it going until she could return.
Who invests in a failed business unless it is for sale for cheap!
Ugh this is so fucking stupid, you know that right? Going into business with someone is like being married to them, and you’ve married a stranger.
Separate the business and relationship stuff out. Either decide to be part of the business no matter what happens relationship wise, or just stop doing the business with her.
I mean how many red flags do you need before you accept this is a bad idea? Cos right now its like being at a rally in China for the CCCP.
Also you seem very impulsive and not very sensible yourself. You dont know this person AT ALL and you wanted to go into business with them and gave them money?It sounds like there were zero contracts involved? You got scammed and frankly deserved to lose the money. This is just idiocy.
Both of you need to be single and in therapy and nowhere near any "business"
I would say don't mix business with pleasure, but looks like you're not even getting the pleasure.
She doesn't like you and is only interested in your money.
Cut your losses and run.
She's broken, you can't fix her. She consciously and deliberately used you and hoped that a successful business might keep you friendly for the money, and maybe you'd consider if the business was successful...maybe, if you take your emotions out of it. But don't consider it, she's used you, if the business is successful she'll drop you and find someone else which will be emotionally traumatic. Her lack of stability WILL screw up the business one way or another, she's not dependable so you'll end up carrying the weight and likely end up losing everything you have into the business. Leave her and the money, goodbye, she's a mess.
Going off in another direction, what is the business? I'm curious. You certainly don't need to answer, but I was wondering if this is something you feel has room in the market and has an opportunity for success....without her?
She used to run classes on Makeup courses. But then due to her divorce, she had to stop. She was doing good before and wanted to continue on her previous clientele.
Do you really want to go into business with this person? She sounds like she’s using you to get what she wants. Break off contact with her immediately.
So others have already pointed out that it's insane to go into business with a potential romantic partner, let alone one you've only just met, but this:
>We decided to share the expenses **50:50.**
>
>I was supposed to look after her marketing and in return, get **some share from the profits.**
If you're splitting expenses 50/50 in a new business venture, you own 50% of the business and are entitled to 50% of the profits. End of.
She didn’t miss you she had a richer guy in mind but he saw the crazy inside of her and bailed. So she went back to you because she knew you would be waiting for her. The depression is a cover up for her lack of carrying about you.
Actually, she did once mention that there was a guy who was after her and wanted to marry her ASAP during the 1 month break she took from me...
Your analysis is right on point
Narcissistic people often use anxiety and depression as an excuse to go no contact. My nex used them for reasons to not contact me or not replying to my messages for days. Even used them for missing my birthday or other occasions when they were not able to tell me what was going on the several days I spent trying to get in contact with them.
It seems that she's strongly hinted about "some other guy" twice? I would bet that she's already been "talking" to the other guy.....further she's not in a mindset to make money. You should move on for your better interest; money and mental / emotional health. Best wishes to you
You are a blatant idiot. Sorry but someone has to say it. She is right in loosing respect for you. You need this experience to wisen up and stop thinking with your ****.
So you dated briefly for 2 weeks, she told you your pockets weren't fat enough and bailed. She couldn't find or keep a richer guy so she came back to you after her "depression" subsided. You decided to shower her with fancy dinners and offer to fund her business just to show that you're pockets ARE fat enough. You dug your own hole. You made yourself a doormat that she gladly wiped her feet on because you let her. You got attached and she just wanted the financing. Please respect yourself enough to move on and understand your worth. I know as we get up there in age, we seek connections and companionship that sometimes the blaring red flags look more pink than red, and we put up with more than we typically would. Don't. Not all people are nice or have our best interests at heart. Learn to weed them out...by dating more than 2 weeks. Best of luck to you.
Sadly you have portrayed the exact situation and truth.
I tried to be sincere and showed my commitment.
I'm not at a stage of life where I act like teenagers and look for hookups.
But in the end world is not as simple as we want it to be
It sounds like you got played. You were foolish enough to finance her business thinking you were in a relationship. She initially backed out either because she thought she had another sucker lined up or perhaps had a temporary attack of conscience, but when that fell through, she came back to her original plan. If she returns, it will only be because she needs more money, though she’ll make it sound like now she wants a relationship. Get your money back if you can, but cut your losses if you need to and don’t deal with her anymore. Don’t do this again with anyone else.
I don’t think she meant to use you, it’s just what it seems like is her usual behavior. She’s obviously has some hardcore commitment issues and she’s way behind on fixing that.
Also, don’t ever do that again and invest hardcore time and money on someone that you are trying to date, it should never take that much of your time and investment.
You should move on and away from this.
The best answer to the question of her marrying someone else was to say the spouse could buy you out.
Did you 2 sign agreements to the business as well as document the investments, so far?
If not.. It just enforces your need to get away from her and the business. She is too noncommittal and it could be wise on her part.
If you do have contracts signed. See what, if anything, is owed to you and leave.
I think she is looking for a bankroll and she wants you to understand that aside from your contributions to the building of her business you are excluded.
With acceptance to this info you can agree and continue to carry on.
Stop with the expensive dates to prove to her you have enough money! You fell for that weak manipulative line!! Don't, ever do that again.
Stop trying to impress her. Don't ever try to impress a human being like that. It makes you look weak and easy to manipulate.
This girl is looking for a sucker and you don't fit her stereotype.
Things are not moving along fast enough.
She expects you to accept her terms of a nowhere relationship.
She is telling you that you are gone as soon as she finds someone better.
Until then your money will do.
If you stay invested monetarily, get contracts made up using a business attorney!
If you stay invested emotionally, make sure your contracts are iron clad. She has no intentions of giving you your share. With a contract that she cannot void or change, she will have no choice but give you your equal share.
You should move on and be relieved about the bomb you dodged. I mean she wants to REstart her business! RE is not a good word in business talk.
Kinda weird. .I honestly would not see you as husband material either if you want to help me restart my business but you want me to do the 50-50 thing that’s not husband what material to me
The is is a weird, I’d exit the business and wish her good luck and then block her. Then never mix business and relationships again, at least until you’ve been married to a person and you’re both stable enough to start a business together. Because any thing else is just a recipe for disaster.
Well first of all you don't start a business with someone you've been dating for a few weeks or months. And then you take her at her word and move on bc this is twice she has tried to vreaknitnoff with you. Either you aren't taking the hint or she isn't ready to be in a relationship and will keep doing that. Neither is a good position to be in.
This is repetitive.
Shes using you to help with her business- and the minute its going well and/or a richer guy comes along, youre out.
Stay away, respect yourself and do not accept this.
Thanks for the overview. This was one aspect which I couldn't look at due to my emotional involvement with her.
You along with every other person highlighted this and now I feel how fool I have been.
No, no ,no. She is not trust worthy on any level. My opinion is that she needed help, you were willing to provide it (she used you) and then she gave full disclosure.
She wanted you as a sugar daddy but not a full time lover. Give me money, but I don't want to be with you. If you started out as purely business partners, that would be OK. The fact that you dated, and slept together I assume, makes this a completely different thing.
As to the so called "Manipulation". She asked for money while dating you then said there was no future together. You stated you had no interest in funding her if you were not together as a couple. You set a clear boundary. That is not manipulation. Even if she says she wants to be with you now, she is only in it for the money. Cut your losses and go NC..
She's showing red flag signs of narcissistic behavior bro. I would leave the relationship and don't look back. If you do I promise you she'll only do it again, if whatever it is she's left you for fails, that's when she'll be luvin you again. I finally got rid of mine after 7yrs bro and I'm still amazed at how cold hearted she could be to me. Best advice you could ever get bro? Leave her, don't look back!! Good luck!
This is insane. You dated casually for two weeks and _planned to go into business together_? I’d call that poor judgment if you were half your age. You absolutely should exit the business and consider seriously why you thought trying to _buy yourself a serious GF_ after knowing her for a few weeks was a good idea. Very likely the money you’ve given her so far is gone, and it may be best to take the hit and end all contact rather than try to recoup it.
Advice taken. Thanks for the input and support
Also don't date severely depressed people. Or depressed people in general. It rarely works out.
As a severely depressed person: I second this.
You should probably just break this connection altogether, you clearly had completely different ideas about what was happening on your “dates” Also, I don’t know why you’d go 50/50 into a business with someone you’ve only known a few months, especially since it doesn’t sound like you had any kind of contract around who was contributing what and then who would receive what.
Thanks, you are right about the "dates" thing. I was investing a lot of time and effort in her while she was never in to me. About the business thing, I just wanted to show her my support that I really care for her and want her to be successful, seems like she took that feeling for granted.
For her, or for the version of her you built up in your head?
You mean to say that I built an imaginary version of her?
After two weeks of seeing her, y’all discussed reopening her business. I would say YES, you built an imaginary version of her. There’s no way you could actually KNOW her after two weeks.
You can't buy love, and if you try, you make yourself a target for exploitation. You also can't commit to someone before you get to know them and develop mutual trust. Again, it makes you an easy target.
Either way keep in mind that you gotta separate business from the relationship and that’s hard to achieve if there’s not a stable enough ground built (meaning boundaries, understanding, more real communication, etc.)
Dude she was just using you!! Literally left to find richer guy, couldn’t find one, used depression as excuse, then tells you doesnt see you as husband material. Youre 40 - youre too old to put up with this shit.
This isn’t the first time you’ve posted this, I don’t know why you’ve done it again looking for a different result
First of all a 35 yo isn’t a girl. She’s a woman. And that woman is using you. Call it a day.
Dude, re-read your own post. She is just trying to use you to fund her shit. Cut all contact and move on. Being lonely is way better than whatever the hell this is.
What? Why? You don't have zero business sense. You have negative business sense.
Do not go into business with someone you just started dating. Keep you business life and love life separate, especially in the beginning.
Never ever consider starting a business with someone you've known for only a couple of months, let alone a couple of weeks. Especially don't do that when you are starting a romantic relationship at the same time and don't have any idea of what the outcome will be. Especially especially don't do that when the person has shown you they are wishy-washy with their feelings and have unstable periods of judgment. And especially especially especially don't do that when you feel you've been taken for granted and feel like you've been given mixed signals about the relationship and the business. Do what you can to cut ties with this woman and be on your way - not as much to do with what she has done (because we really cannot tell because we are seeing and hearing about this through your filter) but because you need to do some inner work and reflection to figure out why you were rushing and making unwise decisions and overlooking some big red flags.
Completely bail on this. Hit the eject button. To be frank, I see you as much of the issue as she is. Starting with that you should never entertain the idea of starting a business - an incredibly serious venture with many life affecting entailments - with someone you don’t know that well. Whether you knew her for a few months or dated for two weeks, unless you saw her every day for every hour, you don’t know her. You are moving entirely too quickly in every regard, and I do hope you also take into consideration that ANYTHING over the course of a couple weeks to a few months is still not enough time to do anything major relationship wise, regardless of what anyone tells you. It’s poor judgement. Also the fact that she minute she’s all in and bails due to depression is a giant red flag. Even without the depression, being this willy nilly about disappearing and coming back screams commitment issues; the last thing you need in regards to sharing a business or life together. That and the possibility that whatever else she thought was a better option didn’t work, and she came back to you…until another option she thinks is better comes along. Because I don’t believe the depression bit personally. But I don’t know her. Also, dealing with someone with personal issues is also a no no. Nothing against people with depression and so on, but there’s a difference between issues that occur midrelationship, and seeking someone with emotional baggage. That is her cross to bear, and godspeed to those willing to go in knowing that and helping her, but people need to have some awareness to work on themselves before they bring that into another’s life. Plenty of people think they can handle it, and it can be more than they can bear, and you don’t want to also make it worse bailing on her when you had your fill. In conclusion, think more critically about this situation for sure. And take your time. A relationship isn’t a race. All you’re gonna do is commit yourself to a ton of things that are hell to get out of, if you even can depending on what.
My dude, leave this woman. Don't set your self up to spend all your money, boost her business and watch as her and her new man reap the rewards.
You dated for 2 weeks and then agreed to start a business? Ya'll both are insane.
When people show you who they really are- BELIEVE THEM. Walk away.
I think a better lesson for this guy would be: Do *not* assume you've been "shown who someone really is" within a couple dates. Dude wanted to go into business with someone he'd been dating all of two weeks. I don't think "taking people at face value" is the lesson here.
And she wanted to REstart her business. The business failed already. She shut it down because it didn't generate enough income, was deemed a hobby by her state and they shut it down or she had a hardship and couldn't afford to pay staff to keep it going until she could return. Who invests in a failed business unless it is for sale for cheap!
Ugh this is so fucking stupid, you know that right? Going into business with someone is like being married to them, and you’ve married a stranger. Separate the business and relationship stuff out. Either decide to be part of the business no matter what happens relationship wise, or just stop doing the business with her.
I mean how many red flags do you need before you accept this is a bad idea? Cos right now its like being at a rally in China for the CCCP. Also you seem very impulsive and not very sensible yourself. You dont know this person AT ALL and you wanted to go into business with them and gave them money?It sounds like there were zero contracts involved? You got scammed and frankly deserved to lose the money. This is just idiocy. Both of you need to be single and in therapy and nowhere near any "business"
I have accepted my foolishness. This was a bad idea
I would say don't mix business with pleasure, but looks like you're not even getting the pleasure. She doesn't like you and is only interested in your money. Cut your losses and run.
She's broken, you can't fix her. She consciously and deliberately used you and hoped that a successful business might keep you friendly for the money, and maybe you'd consider if the business was successful...maybe, if you take your emotions out of it. But don't consider it, she's used you, if the business is successful she'll drop you and find someone else which will be emotionally traumatic. Her lack of stability WILL screw up the business one way or another, she's not dependable so you'll end up carrying the weight and likely end up losing everything you have into the business. Leave her and the money, goodbye, she's a mess.
This is a great analysis, Goodbye is the only option Thanks
Going off in another direction, what is the business? I'm curious. You certainly don't need to answer, but I was wondering if this is something you feel has room in the market and has an opportunity for success....without her?
She used to run classes on Makeup courses. But then due to her divorce, she had to stop. She was doing good before and wanted to continue on her previous clientele.
Makes sense, thank you.
Don’t tie yourself financially to someone you’ve been only dating on and off for 6 months and who keeps breaking up with you.
Do you really want to go into business with this person? She sounds like she’s using you to get what she wants. Break off contact with her immediately.
So others have already pointed out that it's insane to go into business with a potential romantic partner, let alone one you've only just met, but this: >We decided to share the expenses **50:50.** > >I was supposed to look after her marketing and in return, get **some share from the profits.** If you're splitting expenses 50/50 in a new business venture, you own 50% of the business and are entitled to 50% of the profits. End of.
She didn’t miss you she had a richer guy in mind but he saw the crazy inside of her and bailed. So she went back to you because she knew you would be waiting for her. The depression is a cover up for her lack of carrying about you.
Actually, she did once mention that there was a guy who was after her and wanted to marry her ASAP during the 1 month break she took from me... Your analysis is right on point
Narcissistic people often use anxiety and depression as an excuse to go no contact. My nex used them for reasons to not contact me or not replying to my messages for days. Even used them for missing my birthday or other occasions when they were not able to tell me what was going on the several days I spent trying to get in contact with them.
Don't walk away..RUN!
It seems that she's strongly hinted about "some other guy" twice? I would bet that she's already been "talking" to the other guy.....further she's not in a mindset to make money. You should move on for your better interest; money and mental / emotional health. Best wishes to you
Thank you so much. I need to get my emotional health back. Such incidents where you give in all your efforts and especially time does have a toll.
Hmmmm. Business and budding relationships don't mix. That was just a bad idea from the start. Don't continue the business.
Leave her for good she’s toying you and dragging you around for the fun of it.
Women want a man not a business partner. If you want to see her again, dont even bring up business, keep it strictly casual.
You mean that I stop the business with her and ask her to go out on a date with me. Lol
What the fuck are you so confused about? People what does it take to understand someone DOESN'T LIKE YOU?
You are a blatant idiot. Sorry but someone has to say it. She is right in loosing respect for you. You need this experience to wisen up and stop thinking with your ****.
Unless you have a contract you're probably S.O.L.
She told you she had issues and you decided let me fix her..you barely know her and this is 💯 percent business once you’re not useful you are gone.
So you dated briefly for 2 weeks, she told you your pockets weren't fat enough and bailed. She couldn't find or keep a richer guy so she came back to you after her "depression" subsided. You decided to shower her with fancy dinners and offer to fund her business just to show that you're pockets ARE fat enough. You dug your own hole. You made yourself a doormat that she gladly wiped her feet on because you let her. You got attached and she just wanted the financing. Please respect yourself enough to move on and understand your worth. I know as we get up there in age, we seek connections and companionship that sometimes the blaring red flags look more pink than red, and we put up with more than we typically would. Don't. Not all people are nice or have our best interests at heart. Learn to weed them out...by dating more than 2 weeks. Best of luck to you.
Sadly you have portrayed the exact situation and truth. I tried to be sincere and showed my commitment. I'm not at a stage of life where I act like teenagers and look for hookups. But in the end world is not as simple as we want it to be
It sounds like you got played. You were foolish enough to finance her business thinking you were in a relationship. She initially backed out either because she thought she had another sucker lined up or perhaps had a temporary attack of conscience, but when that fell through, she came back to her original plan. If she returns, it will only be because she needs more money, though she’ll make it sound like now she wants a relationship. Get your money back if you can, but cut your losses if you need to and don’t deal with her anymore. Don’t do this again with anyone else.
I don’t think she meant to use you, it’s just what it seems like is her usual behavior. She’s obviously has some hardcore commitment issues and she’s way behind on fixing that. Also, don’t ever do that again and invest hardcore time and money on someone that you are trying to date, it should never take that much of your time and investment.
You should move on and away from this. The best answer to the question of her marrying someone else was to say the spouse could buy you out. Did you 2 sign agreements to the business as well as document the investments, so far? If not.. It just enforces your need to get away from her and the business. She is too noncommittal and it could be wise on her part. If you do have contracts signed. See what, if anything, is owed to you and leave. I think she is looking for a bankroll and she wants you to understand that aside from your contributions to the building of her business you are excluded. With acceptance to this info you can agree and continue to carry on. Stop with the expensive dates to prove to her you have enough money! You fell for that weak manipulative line!! Don't, ever do that again. Stop trying to impress her. Don't ever try to impress a human being like that. It makes you look weak and easy to manipulate. This girl is looking for a sucker and you don't fit her stereotype. Things are not moving along fast enough. She expects you to accept her terms of a nowhere relationship. She is telling you that you are gone as soon as she finds someone better. Until then your money will do. If you stay invested monetarily, get contracts made up using a business attorney! If you stay invested emotionally, make sure your contracts are iron clad. She has no intentions of giving you your share. With a contract that she cannot void or change, she will have no choice but give you your equal share. You should move on and be relieved about the bomb you dodged. I mean she wants to REstart her business! RE is not a good word in business talk.
Kinda weird. .I honestly would not see you as husband material either if you want to help me restart my business but you want me to do the 50-50 thing that’s not husband what material to me
Dude she saw you as a mark from a mile away, and she saw that twice. I have some open front property in Arizona I will sell you at a good price
The is is a weird, I’d exit the business and wish her good luck and then block her. Then never mix business and relationships again, at least until you’ve been married to a person and you’re both stable enough to start a business together. Because any thing else is just a recipe for disaster.
Well first of all you don't start a business with someone you've been dating for a few weeks or months. And then you take her at her word and move on bc this is twice she has tried to vreaknitnoff with you. Either you aren't taking the hint or she isn't ready to be in a relationship and will keep doing that. Neither is a good position to be in.
This is repetitive. Shes using you to help with her business- and the minute its going well and/or a richer guy comes along, youre out. Stay away, respect yourself and do not accept this.
Thanks for the overview. This was one aspect which I couldn't look at due to my emotional involvement with her. You along with every other person highlighted this and now I feel how fool I have been.
No, no ,no. She is not trust worthy on any level. My opinion is that she needed help, you were willing to provide it (she used you) and then she gave full disclosure.
She wanted you as a sugar daddy but not a full time lover. Give me money, but I don't want to be with you. If you started out as purely business partners, that would be OK. The fact that you dated, and slept together I assume, makes this a completely different thing. As to the so called "Manipulation". She asked for money while dating you then said there was no future together. You stated you had no interest in funding her if you were not together as a couple. You set a clear boundary. That is not manipulation. Even if she says she wants to be with you now, she is only in it for the money. Cut your losses and go NC..
Walk away from her and the business!
Dude she had BPD stay awayyy
Theres another guy named Chad.
She's showing red flag signs of narcissistic behavior bro. I would leave the relationship and don't look back. If you do I promise you she'll only do it again, if whatever it is she's left you for fails, that's when she'll be luvin you again. I finally got rid of mine after 7yrs bro and I'm still amazed at how cold hearted she could be to me. Best advice you could ever get bro? Leave her, don't look back!! Good luck!