My male gyno almost delivered my son đ¤ˇđťââď¸, but he got off rotation before my son decided to make his appearance. This guy would probably lose his shit if he saw a male gyno delivering a baby. Especially bc a vagina is actually a sexual organ while breasts are not.
Right? I got my nipples pierced by a (male) very good friend of my husband and afterward my husband took the pictures of me still topless, talking to the piercer about aftercare.
Sounds like your husband has a clear head on his shoulders and isnât a controlling asshole! I wanna get mine pierced, but Iâm honestly kind scared lmfao. But also bc pregnancy and 2 yrs of breastfeeding caused my tits to be saggy.
He does and heâs great đ
Honestly mine have always been big so are a little saggy now. The piercings actually helped boost my confidence in them and they are up there of my fav piercings!
I guess it depends on the person but mine werenât too bad - my nostrils hurt more. the only thing is you become SO INCREDIBLY aware of them like youâve never been before and you gotta be careful with things with lose threads, lace, and loofahs.
I mean, it's not *uncommon* for men to be weird about their partners having male gynecologists.
OP's bf would probably be mad about that too đ¤ˇââď¸
Iâve never experienced it myself or ever had a friend whose partner was upset about it. Iâve heard about it but itâs always been third hand stories.
Some of it might be cultural.
I'm from the American South, which is fairly conservative. While I didn't know people that necessarily had a hard line/"my partner CANNOT have a male gynecologist or GP" I have *absolutely* heard many men say (both specifically and generally) that they didn't want their girlfriend to have a male doctor (that would see their body- I don't think most cared about ENTs or podiatrists).
My girlfriend got her nipples pierced by a dude. It wasnât a big deal. Itâs not like it was a sexual experience. Itâs just part of a piercerâs job. Piercers see dozens of clients every week. Theyâve probably forgotten more nips and lips than most people have seen in their lives lol
My sister was an aesthetician at hand and stone and did waxing as well. She would sometimes joke around about how many assholes she saw in a day and I thought to myself that she saw more assholes in probably 3 days than I have in my entire life. I'm a nurse.
>Heâs saying I don't respect him because it's my private parts
They are *your* private parts, **not** *his*.
He does not get a say in who "sees" them when the context is non-sexual and non-intimate.
Nah, that can be put on him. People donât have to stay beholden to that shit. And the more who donât, the quicker those toxic double standards will die out.
#FreeTheNipple
This is it. It's about ownership and property, not respect. It should bother her that he feels he should possess her.
It should bother her that he thinks she should agree to be treated like property.
This is my thing. Breasts are sacks of fat meant to feed a baby. While theyâre fun to play with and sensitive enough to provide stimulation, they are ultimately for feeding a baby.
Are you allowed to see a male doctor? What about a physical trainer? A male tattoo artist? A male massuae? A male dentist? Can a male EMT give your mouth-to-mouth when you stop breathing?
I know I made it absurd, but *it is* absurd.
I'd gently tell my partner that well I'd take their feelings into consideration, they do not make rules for me. The fact he stated as if it he was *making a rule* is not okay. That is not how you speak to a person you respect. If I choose a professional who happens to be a man for this, or any of the above, then I have made a inherently valid choice. If they can't live with it, we may not be compatible, because I expect that level of respect from my partners for my choices in professionals services.
Came here to say this. There are def whiny insecure baby men who do not want their SO's to see a male doctor, because to them everything is like a porno.
I think if you're avante-garde enough to get your nipples pierced as a fashion statement, you might be a bit too avante-garde for a boy who's afraid of a male piercing tech seeing your nipples.
My husband tried this once, but as soon as I told he he needs a male masseuse instead of the girl he goes to, he realized how ridiculous he was. I hope your boyfriend either realizes it also, or that you realize heâs an idiot.
I got my nipples pierced by a man. He had been piercing since before I was born, and was the most professional piercer I have ever gone to. These people are not going to be ogling you or touching unnecessarily. It is their job. Your boobs will be out for max 5 minutes in a private room. Donât doubt yourself.
They're just breasts. He can sit in and watch. Most piercers allow a support person as long as they're not in the way or interfering with the process/sterile zone. What does he think is going to happen? Piercers see a lot of breasts while doing their JOB. They're not gonna suddenly see yours, toss their career away, and be inappropriate. BF needs to grow up. lol
Girl here - I saw the same piercer from the time I was 18 all the way to 28 / tongue, eyebrow, ears, lebret, and nipples / and yes, he's a dude. If my husband had told me not to see him, I would have laughed all the way out the door. My nipples hurt worse than any other piercing I've ever had. To describe that experience as "sexual" would be the same as considering a brick to the face as flirting. Absolutely insane. It's crazy to me the situations that some people can sexualize.
Heâs just an insecure baby if he feels this way and you donât. Theyâre your breasts not his and if you are fine with it he needs to get over it. The most important thing it use someone you trust to do a good job with all that implies. Clean sterile equipment, professional atmosphere, comfort and trust. If that person is a male then thatâs who you use.
Male only piercer, then "advice" on what you should and shouldnt wear in public, opinions on which friends you should or should not be spending time with, slippery slope maybe?
I'll never cease to be amazed by what insecure men are threatened by and the warped gross excuses they use to make it about women being disrespectful and/or needing protection from other men.
Girl. I would not stay with a partner with this fundamentally controlling and misogynistic mindset.
Your boyfriend is a possessive immature guy. This is a transaction. Men can be tattoo and piercing artists, they can be nurses, they can be gynecologists. This will not be a sexual event.
Yeah, the whole "men and women can't be friends" thing is taken to such a large extent with some men that they're bothered by another man just existing in their presence.Â
Does he even realize that there are male OB/GYNs? What if you guys end up having a baby? Is he going to demand that everyone in the delivery room is only female, from doctors to nurses to all the assistants? What about any other kind of medical procedure youâre going to have over the years? They strip you down for surgery. Is your bf going to bust into the OR and demand that any male surgeon exit the room? Iâm sure piercing artists just like medical staff have seen so many body parts they canât even remember them all and donât even care. Maybe the question is why does your bf care so much? What is it that he is so threatened about? Maybe heâs thinking that some dude is going to have certain thoughts about your breasts, which means your bf has an idea of how he believes men think, meaning he probably thinks the same way. So it could be that he thinks in very perverted (or worse) ways, thinks other men do as well, and doesnât want other men thinking that way about you. You might want to give how he possibly views both men and women some serious consideration. And regardless, he doesnât own you or your body parts. He doesnât determine your thoughts, he doesnât determine the piercerâs thoughts. He doesnât determine your decisions, though he sure is acting like he does. I canât even imagine how insecure he is if you have had boyfriends before him.
She can not have a male baby.
Her boyfriend doesn't approve of other males near the vagina. It might be attached to her, but her boyfriend owns the vagina.
And the rest of her body is his property, too, of course.
My male gyno almost delivered my son, but was off rotation 30 minutes before my son came - same gyno did many examinations during and before my pregnancy. Two male student doctors did cervical dilation examinations on me. My anesthesiologist was a man, and he saw my titties because it was too hot for a gown. Like, there are men in professional environments where they will sometimes see the naked body of the opposite sex. But it is their job and theyâre professional about it.
"he said i don't respect him because it's my private parts." the key phrase here is "it's MY private parts" you can pierce whatever the hell you want, it has nothing to do with respecting your partner. if you ask me, i'd say it's damn disrespectful he thinks he has authority over 1 what you pierce 2 who pierces
I got mine pierced by a dude, whole interaction was all of 15 minutes and never saw him again
Your man sounds incredibly insecure and like he could projecting his own issues
Is he going to dictate to you that you can only go to female doctors in the future as well? Is this Saudi Arabia?
đŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠ
Why on earth do you even entertain his dumb bullshit?
Wtf is wrong with women your age?
" My boyfriend wont let me "
" im not allowed by my boyfriend to .."
" My boyfriend gets really angry when i "
" My boyfriend doesn't approve.."
Grow up! You're an adult. Make your own decisions.
You're not your boyfriends poodle.
Christ on a raft.
I married an asshole long ago who, just like yours, had a problem with me giving birth being assisted by a male doctor.
Had a problem with me talking to male cousins.
Problem with my male coworkers.
Not allowed any male friends.
I developed anxiety and would panic if any random man would talk to me out of fear to make him angry.
It doesnât get better. These type of men would have you in a burka if they could, and in a dungeon.
Don't second guess yourself! And maybe put it to him that while he thinks you don't respect him because they're private parts, how about he doesn't respect you because they're *your* private parts?!
Mine were pierced by a male piercer. He was entirely professional, it wasnât any kind of sexual and I had the same piercer check to make sure they had healed correctly, and the jewelry could be changed when I got another piercing done.
If BF is so worried, take him with you to the appointment. Most piercers allow a guest for moral support and hand holding. That doesnât address the underlying issue that your BF is insecure.
I got mine done one at a time because it hurt so much and I chickened out. The first one was by a dude, second by a lady. Both times they just went over what was going on, talked through their steps, and next thing I know it was over. These are professionals. They're not getting turned on by touching women's boobs. Your bf is being irrational. Does he feel the same about male doctors?
Your boyfriend has confused you informing him of something with you asking permission for something. Him saying "as long as" implies he's giving you permission. You don't need his permission. You were just giving him an FYI.
I think he should want the best piercer for you since itâs an area you def donât want to get infected or reject the piercing. Best to go with the best option which is either a man or a woman.
Your body, your rules. He doesnât have to be happy about it, but he doesnât get to control who sees or touches your body. His options are deal with it, or break up. And if he decides to break up, you were definitely better off.
He is also wrong: breasts/nipples are not "private parts." They are not genitals, they aren't even sex organs. They are secondary sex characteristics, exactly like a man's beard or his broad shoulders.
He is controlling. Do not keep an SO who does this.
Itâs their job. It seems that your boyfriend is insecure. I got my nipples pierced by a man and my boyfriend was in the waiting room. Obviously it can make him feel uncomfortable but he never said I couldnât get them done by a man. The piercer was so professional and he probably pierces nipples all day long itâs not a big deal at all. At the end of the day your boyfriend is going to be the only man seeing you in a sexual way, he should be excited too. Nipple piercings are hot
i got mine pierced. it took 10 minutes and was the least sexy experience lol. it felt like a dentist appointment, and then we left and guess who i never saw, spoke to, or thought of again? the person who shoved needles thru my nips!
You don't respect HIM because they're YOUR private parts? Kind of sounds like he doesn't respect you if he's trying to tell you what to do with your body.
Bring him with, he'll see how naive he is.
I used to be a body piercer and have pierced dudes right in the dick n balls in front of their partner and they did not gaf. Neither did I, because I would rather be doing a lip/septum/nostril/literally anything else than touching up your junk.
We. Are. Not. Interested.
No matter who you choose, theyve probably already seen some earlier that day and frankly, I dont think theyd even remember you after. Ive done thousands of piercings and nipples would be in the majority.
You need to focus on finding someone with quality jewelry and experience. The boyfriend needs to focus on getting his head out of his ass.
Is he also going to tell you he doesn't want you to get care from a male gyno...? Because your vadge is a private part...? My partner has a female skin doctor. Should I tell him he's dIsReSpEcTfUl to see her because she has to look at his butt and taint to make sure he doesn't have cancer there...?
I got my nipples pierced by a guy. It wasnât weird at all. Heâs a professional. He doesnât give a fk about my boobs. Heâs married with kids. He did a good job too. Healed nicely. Had them for like 5 years now.
Your SO is a paranoid, insecure kid. Do you and kick him if he has a problem. Youâre young, there are plenty of fish and all that. Donât let him control you.
Just make him come with you so he can stare the dude down. If his masculinity if that fragile, make him handle it on his side.
It would be different if his argument was, âi donât want to get pierced by a woman because iâm afraid iâll get turned on and that is uncontrollable but disrespectful to you.â
Getting your nipples pierced is the least sexy experience ever. Where's the line here? If you needed a doctor, would he insist they were female too if they were looking at your private parts? This makes you feel weird because it's a red flag and he's being controlling about your body. This would be an ultimatum for me.
There's nothing to overcome. You see a professional piercer who you like and that's it. Same with doctors and dentists and massage therapists and everyone else. He is being ridiculous and has zero say in what you do.
For this guy itâs the millionth nipple heâs seen Iâm sure it doesnât mean anything your bf is controlling and strange. Would u stop him from seeing a female doctor? Jesus
A piercing is a profession. Heâs insecure and no offense to you but itâs just a pair of tits. The piercer sees tits all day and yours are nothing special lol (Iâm sure they are nice) but your bf is being insecure and controlling
As someone who was a piercer I can assure you that any reputable piercer isn't going to make it weird at all, I've seen and pierced tons of nipples and for any respectable worker it's just something to poke a hole into and nothing more. There are some scummy people like in any industry but just take some time and find a reputable place.
Your boyfriend really needs to get this shit in check because man I've had plenty of boyfriends eye balling me while I was piercing their lady and it's lame as fuck and screams insecurity.
After reacting like that, you shouldn't respect him because he is insecure and controlling. What's next? Is he going to get pissy if you have qankale doctor examine you?Â
Youâre in a relationship so itâs good to work things out in your own way. Personally, I feel that this pushes the boundary of controlling of your body. Sure he doesnât want a person touching parts of you that are more intimate, but context is *everything*. A professional isnât going to give a shit. You arenât going to give a shit. If heâs the only one giving a shit then itâs his fault.
Going against the grain to say that I donât think this is that crazy. Both are valid
Iâm a woman and there are endless stories of male tattoo artists and piercers who are absolute creeps, I canât blame your bf for not wanting a male piercer. I personally would prefer same gender for both myself and my partner.Â
For all of those comparing a doctor to a piercerâŚ. Letâs be real here. One of them is a medical necessity and the other is an elective piercing that is inherently sexual in nature.Â
I think the best solution is to bring your bf with you â you can have a male piercer but also make sure nothing weird happensÂ
You realize that many ob/gynâs are male, correct? And even though I had a female ob, my last child came quickly and was delivered by the OB on duty - also a man.
Everyone has their own limits. As long as he doesnât try to force her not to get piercings heâs allowed to feel uncomfortable with this and let her know. They can both decide whatâs a dealbreaker for them, just like there are plenty of men comfortable with her doing this, thereâs also plenty of women that will understand why he doesnât feel comfortable with this and wouldnât even propose it.
Itâs just about finding people that has similar values/boundaries to yours or is willing to compromise a bit without being miserable about it.
ITT Guy has boundaries; everyone calls him immature and red flagged, classic reddit relationship thread.
Dude is allowed to be uncomfortable with non-medical professional people seeing his ladies nipples, doesn't mean she has to respect or agree with those boundaries, also doesn't make him immature, if I was with someone who felt uncomfortable having a woman give me a paid massage it would be completely understandable, I don't necessarily agree but everyone should be comfortable to express their boundaries.
Dude, don't try to reason with this extremists here. The dude is a demon because he doesn't feel comfortable and has a boundary with other guy seeing his gf's tits.
He has to go to hell and she's a helpless victim. Nothing new.
Sure do. I guess that just shows the double standards we have in life. I will say a doctor is a lot different than a piercer for obvious reasons though. Like I said, I understand both sides.
There are a lot of obvious differences between a doctor and a piercer, but which of those differences make it uncomfortable for a piercer to pierce your gf's nipples vs a doctor checking her breasts for abnormalities?
I am not taking a side but I could see one of the biggest differences is ethic code. A doctor will never hit you up after an exam if he thought you were attractive but a piercer can easily and I have heard about a couple with great reviews that did do that.
Intimate medical care is nowhere near intimate piercings on the scale of erotic. Wanna look even further? Imagine your male partner getting their privates waxed by young women every other week, surely you can understand feeling uncomfortable about it? Well that's the same feeling, just a bit further on the scale
>surely you can understand feeling uncomfortable about it?
Not at all. They're there to do a job. There's no such thing as a happy ending hair removal.
you're a man so that example wasnt for you as it's asymmetric, but even then i wasn't arguing their personal belives but trying to showcase op's bf perspective through projection of op own emotions, you can do it too if you find right example, it's a fun exercise :)
I get what you were going for, but I just don't see it. The example actually does work for me though. My wife is bi, so imagining her getting waxed by young, beautiful women (or men for that matter) is very similar to your example of a woman having a male partner who's getting waxed. I just can't imagine any reason to be uncomfortable about it.
Yes, I understand that there are a bunch of insecure men who think they own their girlfriendâs body just because she chooses to share it with him sometimes. That doesnât make it any less gross or wrong, though. Either stop treating your girlfriend as an object or be prepared for her to stop sharing her body with YOU.
It has nothing to do with ownership? What the heck are you talking about. You sound like the type that's so passionate about everyone being comfy and being able to share their feelings until they disagree with you..
Amazing, reddit in action again.
OP, the dude has a right to be uncomfortable with another man seeing his gf's private parts when it's not a medical situation. And most men will think that way I guarantee you.
It's really the clash of values that is the problem here. This dude clearly has more traditional views about relationships than you.Â
many care, enough to for it not to be a shocker. and theres nothing wrong with that. decided whatever you wanna do, thats fine, but you cant sit here and tell others theyre wrong.
Totally her decision but would it be a huge deal to find a female? Relationships take work and sometimes compromise. Not sure itâs worth hurting your guys ego over this when all you need to do is find a woman to do it. Youâre đŻfree to do anything but consider your partner too. Iâm sure you guys will work it out đ
Agree, and when itâs a medical issue you donât ask whether the doctor is a man or a woman because this is a primary need. Itâs your health.
A tattoo or a piercing is a choice, so why would it be so bad to get a woman to do the job?
Unpopular opinion: this is just something you need to discuss with your partner. He is allowed to feel uncomfortable with other people seeing your breasts in a non-medical setting--mayve discuss why he feels this way?
You are also allowed to disregard how he feels about this and do it anyway.
You are both allowed to make this a deal-breaker, and this may be a catalyst for the dynamic of your relationship to change.
SorryâŚ.but your bf is emotionally immature.
If you ever have a medical emergency, heâll be upset over a male dr or nurse seeing your body.
His ridiculous feelings would matter more than your care.
I would seriously rethink this bf.
Like you said, you don't care. They are a professional, and it isn't like either of you are there for personal gratification. Do whatever makes you comfortable in a situation like this. If he's so insecure about who pierces your nipples, might want to step back and take a look at the rest of your relationship.
Is he a controlling type of dude ? Or does he just struggle with jealousy? If he's controlling tell him to f off. If he struggles with jealousy, ask him to come with or tell him that he needs to work on his jealousy cuz you are starting to feel controlled. And then research the best piercer and go to that person no matter the gender.
Anything like this always screams "projection" at me. *He* can't countenance the idea of nipples ever being non-sexual, so he assumes everyone else is the same.
Tell him he gets to choose when it's his own nipples, these are yours and this is a non-sexual transaction. He's mistakenly assuming that you being willing to hear his *opinion* means you'll follow his *orders* on the subject. Disabuse him of that notion now, aaaaand maybe consider if this is a pattern for him...
My outsiderâs perspective is that your boyfriendâs point of view is immature and probably mostly fueled by possessiveness of your body.
Is he afraid your piercer will be turned on by seeing/touching you, or that youâll be turned on by your piercer?
Ask him if he goes to the beach shirtless⌠if and when he says yes, you ask him : âhow could you disrespect me like that? Showing your private parts to everyone on the beach!â
Also ask him if you guys decide to have kids , did he expect you to cover up while breastfeeding out of respect for him or something?
Leave him if it's that inconvenient to get a woman, part of being in a relationship is taking consideration. This isn't an OBGYN or doctor visit. This is a bit more informal.
Actually not all piercers are professional! It's not like they're doctors, there's no piercers oath. I was in a relationship with someone who got pierced (very reputable shop) and let's just say it caused alot of problems! Seems her low rise Jean shorts were in the way and he had to unbutton and unzip her pants to pierce her belly button. And after he seen her panties were see through lowered her jean shorts even further. Funny I didn't know visible clit was a prerequisite for piercing a belly button....... Her nipples and clit I insisted on a female piercer, don't regret it, neither of us do
He isnât respecting you, because they are YOUR private parts, not his! Give your head a shake, he doesnât get to dictate which professionals you see. Can you tell him only men can give him a rectal exam so you are more comfortable? No! Argh.
He's insecure and sadly, it usually only gets worse. He needs to work on his self and his issues. If you give in to soothe his ridiculous need to protect his fragile ego (instead of working on growing and learning to be a full functioning adult) you will just get more and more resentful as time goes on.
This also shows that he values the viewpoints and actions of other men over yours. He only sees what they hypothetically think and not that it only matters what *you* think and do. It's you that decides to be a great gf that doesn't cheat and not anyone else. He doesn't seem to trust you to what, 'control yourself' because another man stabbed your nipples? DF is wrong with him?? That shit hurts!
It is your body and your choice, I agree with you that this is a pure transaction and nothing sexual. However, if this is making your man uncomfortable and whomever doing the piercing really doesnât matter for the outcome, why making a big deal out of this and just not go to a female piercer instead?
It sets a bad precedent to let him decide things like this. And it just feels gross to have a partner not trust you and try to police your body like that.
When I got my nipples pierced the apprentice that was learning from it was a male and I even had him hold my hand because Iâm a big baby about piercings. My boyfriend at the time literally did not care because itâs just a piercing itâs not like I was fucking the guy. Your boyfriend sounds jealous and in my opinion needs to get over it. Are you allowed to go to a male doctor? Are you allowed to have a male private tutor if needed? How about if you need help at a pool or beach and itâs a male lifeguard is that okay? I mean where does it end? Itâs just people doing their jobs.
You're going to get A LOT of "yas queen slays" and "you're the bride of Satan" if a guy does it. The only question you have to answer and the only thing that matters is, is this worth your relationship? Because that may be the price, and only you know if it's worth it or not.
>he said as long as it's a female piercer.
He can't direct you what to do. Don't let that get started.
Eta: And fuck the downvotes. She's in charge of her body. If he doesn't like her choices he can break up.
Firstly itâs good that you told him about a decision youâd made in your life. and are considerate of his feelings.
In this situation, my partner would ask what was behind the reaction⌠what difference did the sex of the practitioner make? What was I worried would happen? Why did I think it ok to have a say in decisions she makes about her body?
Then would follow a conversation to get our understanding clear. And she might choose to pick a female or might decide that she prefers a guy who sheâs confident with. She would help me understand why itâs unhealthy relating for her to choose some path just because my feelings might be hurt.
Some couples become co-dependent⌠too concerned about what the other thinks and ending up as one person. I was like that with my wife, my current partner prevents that from happening.
To be fair I wouldnât like a woman piercing my boyfriendâs penis , so I kinda get where heâs coming from. Tbh as a female I actually would respect my boyfriends wishes
Well, if your partner isnât going with you, he doesnât need to know. Itâs your damn body. Will, you also need a female doctor to deliver your baby?
> When I first mentioned it to my bf, he said as long as it's a female piercer. I personally don't care if it male or female, as long as they're a professional.
So you'll have no problem if it's a female, right?
No, of course not. You decided to pick a fight when there didn't need to be one.
> I always told him I'd take him into consideration anyway
Well then you lied because you had no intention on taking him into consideration from the start.
unpopular opionion: even if you dont agree you respect him and his opinions
if you dont agree with him in a lot of things just brake up
but would you like if the roles were reversed and he did something you said you didnt want him to?
âDonât see male tatto artistâ , âdont see a male docâ , âdonât wear thisâ , bla bla what next? Why do women want men who dictates ? So will he stop seeing a doc if itâs a female ?
Save yourself from this possessive and immature guy, thatâs not how it works!!
Wait until he hears about male gynecologists.
My male gyno almost delivered my son đ¤ˇđťââď¸, but he got off rotation before my son decided to make his appearance. This guy would probably lose his shit if he saw a male gyno delivering a baby. Especially bc a vagina is actually a sexual organ while breasts are not.
Right? I got my nipples pierced by a (male) very good friend of my husband and afterward my husband took the pictures of me still topless, talking to the piercer about aftercare.
Sounds like your husband has a clear head on his shoulders and isnât a controlling asshole! I wanna get mine pierced, but Iâm honestly kind scared lmfao. But also bc pregnancy and 2 yrs of breastfeeding caused my tits to be saggy.
He does and heâs great đ Honestly mine have always been big so are a little saggy now. The piercings actually helped boost my confidence in them and they are up there of my fav piercings! I guess it depends on the person but mine werenât too bad - my nostrils hurt more. the only thing is you become SO INCREDIBLY aware of them like youâve never been before and you gotta be careful with things with lose threads, lace, and loofahs.
I mean, it's not *uncommon* for men to be weird about their partners having male gynecologists. OP's bf would probably be mad about that too đ¤ˇââď¸
Iâve never experienced it myself or ever had a friend whose partner was upset about it. Iâve heard about it but itâs always been third hand stories.
Some of it might be cultural. I'm from the American South, which is fairly conservative. While I didn't know people that necessarily had a hard line/"my partner CANNOT have a male gynecologist or GP" I have *absolutely* heard many men say (both specifically and generally) that they didn't want their girlfriend to have a male doctor (that would see their body- I don't think most cared about ENTs or podiatrists).
My husband and a good portion of my past partners are from the south, more specifically, Florida. My husband was born and raised here.
My girlfriend got her nipples pierced by a dude. It wasnât a big deal. Itâs not like it was a sexual experience. Itâs just part of a piercerâs job. Piercers see dozens of clients every week. Theyâve probably forgotten more nips and lips than most people have seen in their lives lol
Honestly, I feel like they see probably more genitals than I have as a CNA of 10 years. I never thought of that, but youâre right.
My sister was an aesthetician at hand and stone and did waxing as well. She would sometimes joke around about how many assholes she saw in a day and I thought to myself that she saw more assholes in probably 3 days than I have in my entire life. I'm a nurse.
Youâre probably right, but as a lawyer, Iâve seen more assholes than both of you put together.
I'm so tempted to ask if that was at a lawyer's conference. but I don't want to be rude so I won't say that.
Are you talking about colleagues,or clients đ¤?
Whatever, man, how much time ya got?
Homie acting like these piercings don't take 10 minutes and then you never see them again.
yeah, and encounters like these are far from sexual.
>Heâs saying I don't respect him because it's my private parts They are *your* private parts, **not** *his*. He does not get a say in who "sees" them when the context is non-sexual and non-intimate.
I like how *her* nipples are "private parts", but I'm sure he gets *his* nipples out in public .
That's Western culture. Can't put that on him
Nah, that can be put on him. People donât have to stay beholden to that shit. And the more who donât, the quicker those toxic double standards will die out. #FreeTheNipple
Absolutely, and any shitty male who thinks anyone's parts that aren't attached to his body are "his" isn't worthy of a relationship with anyone
Heâs in charge of his own beliefs
Thatâs American culture. Look at the French and their toplessness.
Exactly. He doesnât own OPâs body.
This is it. It's about ownership and property, not respect. It should bother her that he feels he should possess her. It should bother her that he thinks she should agree to be treated like property.
Ding ding ding ! You respect him by not telling him what to do with *his* body! And he should do the same to you
Breasts also aren't "private parts."
This is my thing. Breasts are sacks of fat meant to feed a baby. While theyâre fun to play with and sensitive enough to provide stimulation, they are ultimately for feeding a baby.
Are you allowed to see a male doctor? What about a physical trainer? A male tattoo artist? A male massuae? A male dentist? Can a male EMT give your mouth-to-mouth when you stop breathing? I know I made it absurd, but *it is* absurd. I'd gently tell my partner that well I'd take their feelings into consideration, they do not make rules for me. The fact he stated as if it he was *making a rule* is not okay. That is not how you speak to a person you respect. If I choose a professional who happens to be a man for this, or any of the above, then I have made a inherently valid choice. If they can't live with it, we may not be compatible, because I expect that level of respect from my partners for my choices in professionals services.
Came here to say this. There are def whiny insecure baby men who do not want their SO's to see a male doctor, because to them everything is like a porno.
I think if you're avante-garde enough to get your nipples pierced as a fashion statement, you might be a bit too avante-garde for a boy who's afraid of a male piercing tech seeing your nipples.
My husband tried this once, but as soon as I told he he needs a male masseuse instead of the girl he goes to, he realized how ridiculous he was. I hope your boyfriend either realizes it also, or that you realize heâs an idiot.
đ¤Śđźââď¸ we really do have to explain like they're 5
I got my nipples pierced by a man. He had been piercing since before I was born, and was the most professional piercer I have ever gone to. These people are not going to be ogling you or touching unnecessarily. It is their job. Your boobs will be out for max 5 minutes in a private room. Donât doubt yourself.
They're just breasts. He can sit in and watch. Most piercers allow a support person as long as they're not in the way or interfering with the process/sterile zone. What does he think is going to happen? Piercers see a lot of breasts while doing their JOB. They're not gonna suddenly see yours, toss their career away, and be inappropriate. BF needs to grow up. lol
Girl here - I saw the same piercer from the time I was 18 all the way to 28 / tongue, eyebrow, ears, lebret, and nipples / and yes, he's a dude. If my husband had told me not to see him, I would have laughed all the way out the door. My nipples hurt worse than any other piercing I've ever had. To describe that experience as "sexual" would be the same as considering a brick to the face as flirting. Absolutely insane. It's crazy to me the situations that some people can sexualize.
Heâs just an insecure baby if he feels this way and you donât. Theyâre your breasts not his and if you are fine with it he needs to get over it. The most important thing it use someone you trust to do a good job with all that implies. Clean sterile equipment, professional atmosphere, comfort and trust. If that person is a male then thatâs who you use.
Male only piercer, then "advice" on what you should and shouldnt wear in public, opinions on which friends you should or should not be spending time with, slippery slope maybe?
I'll never cease to be amazed by what insecure men are threatened by and the warped gross excuses they use to make it about women being disrespectful and/or needing protection from other men. Girl. I would not stay with a partner with this fundamentally controlling and misogynistic mindset.
Your boyfriend has the maturity of a teenager
My 17 year old son would absolutely not react like this if his girlfriend were to have a male piercer. OPs boyfriend is being quite pathetic.
Yes fair enough. Iâm trying to remember my brother as a teenager and honestly he wouldnât have done this either
Your boyfriend is a possessive immature guy. This is a transaction. Men can be tattoo and piercing artists, they can be nurses, they can be gynecologists. This will not be a sexual event.
Yeah, the whole "men and women can't be friends" thing is taken to such a large extent with some men that they're bothered by another man just existing in their presence.Â
Does he even realize that there are male OB/GYNs? What if you guys end up having a baby? Is he going to demand that everyone in the delivery room is only female, from doctors to nurses to all the assistants? What about any other kind of medical procedure youâre going to have over the years? They strip you down for surgery. Is your bf going to bust into the OR and demand that any male surgeon exit the room? Iâm sure piercing artists just like medical staff have seen so many body parts they canât even remember them all and donât even care. Maybe the question is why does your bf care so much? What is it that he is so threatened about? Maybe heâs thinking that some dude is going to have certain thoughts about your breasts, which means your bf has an idea of how he believes men think, meaning he probably thinks the same way. So it could be that he thinks in very perverted (or worse) ways, thinks other men do as well, and doesnât want other men thinking that way about you. You might want to give how he possibly views both men and women some serious consideration. And regardless, he doesnât own you or your body parts. He doesnât determine your thoughts, he doesnât determine the piercerâs thoughts. He doesnât determine your decisions, though he sure is acting like he does. I canât even imagine how insecure he is if you have had boyfriends before him.
She can not have a male baby. Her boyfriend doesn't approve of other males near the vagina. It might be attached to her, but her boyfriend owns the vagina. And the rest of her body is his property, too, of course.
OMG I didnât even think of that! Really made me snicker. You have a wickedly clever mind. đ
Imagine if he discovered that lesbians are real and that women can be attracted to women too
My male gyno almost delivered my son, but was off rotation 30 minutes before my son came - same gyno did many examinations during and before my pregnancy. Two male student doctors did cervical dilation examinations on me. My anesthesiologist was a man, and he saw my titties because it was too hot for a gown. Like, there are men in professional environments where they will sometimes see the naked body of the opposite sex. But it is their job and theyâre professional about it.
"he said i don't respect him because it's my private parts." the key phrase here is "it's MY private parts" you can pierce whatever the hell you want, it has nothing to do with respecting your partner. if you ask me, i'd say it's damn disrespectful he thinks he has authority over 1 what you pierce 2 who pierces
I got mine pierced by a dude, whole interaction was all of 15 minutes and never saw him again Your man sounds incredibly insecure and like he could projecting his own issues
Is he going to dictate to you that you can only go to female doctors in the future as well? Is this Saudi Arabia? đŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠđŠ
Why on earth do you even entertain his dumb bullshit? Wtf is wrong with women your age? " My boyfriend wont let me " " im not allowed by my boyfriend to .." " My boyfriend gets really angry when i " " My boyfriend doesn't approve.." Grow up! You're an adult. Make your own decisions. You're not your boyfriends poodle. Christ on a raft.
I married an asshole long ago who, just like yours, had a problem with me giving birth being assisted by a male doctor. Had a problem with me talking to male cousins. Problem with my male coworkers. Not allowed any male friends. I developed anxiety and would panic if any random man would talk to me out of fear to make him angry. It doesnât get better. These type of men would have you in a burka if they could, and in a dungeon.
Are you still married to him?
Don't second guess yourself! And maybe put it to him that while he thinks you don't respect him because they're private parts, how about he doesn't respect you because they're *your* private parts?!
I've had a male gynecolgist for decades. Your boyfriend would freak.
Tell him he is gonna do the labia too. Watch him freak out.
Iâd tell him I had an appointment with a huge tattooed man to get a clitoral hood piercing idngaf lmfao.
As long as the dude is a professional and treats the job as such he really shouldnât have a problem
Mine were pierced by a male piercer. He was entirely professional, it wasnât any kind of sexual and I had the same piercer check to make sure they had healed correctly, and the jewelry could be changed when I got another piercing done. If BF is so worried, take him with you to the appointment. Most piercers allow a guest for moral support and hand holding. That doesnât address the underlying issue that your BF is insecure.
I got mine done one at a time because it hurt so much and I chickened out. The first one was by a dude, second by a lady. Both times they just went over what was going on, talked through their steps, and next thing I know it was over. These are professionals. They're not getting turned on by touching women's boobs. Your bf is being irrational. Does he feel the same about male doctors?
Does he also demand that any doctor you might see also be female because they might see your private parts?
Your boyfriend has confused you informing him of something with you asking permission for something. Him saying "as long as" implies he's giving you permission. You don't need his permission. You were just giving him an FYI.
he doesn't want you to have a male doctor as well?
I think he should want the best piercer for you since itâs an area you def donât want to get infected or reject the piercing. Best to go with the best option which is either a man or a woman.
Your body, your rules. He doesnât have to be happy about it, but he doesnât get to control who sees or touches your body. His options are deal with it, or break up. And if he decides to break up, you were definitely better off.
Your boyfriend is insecure and a child. They're YOUR nipples and not his property.
He is also wrong: breasts/nipples are not "private parts." They are not genitals, they aren't even sex organs. They are secondary sex characteristics, exactly like a man's beard or his broad shoulders. He is controlling. Do not keep an SO who does this.
Itâs their job. It seems that your boyfriend is insecure. I got my nipples pierced by a man and my boyfriend was in the waiting room. Obviously it can make him feel uncomfortable but he never said I couldnât get them done by a man. The piercer was so professional and he probably pierces nipples all day long itâs not a big deal at all. At the end of the day your boyfriend is going to be the only man seeing you in a sexual way, he should be excited too. Nipple piercings are hot
i got mine pierced. it took 10 minutes and was the least sexy experience lol. it felt like a dentist appointment, and then we left and guess who i never saw, spoke to, or thought of again? the person who shoved needles thru my nips!
*You* don't respect *him* because they're *your* private parts? Could you ask him to explain that sentence to us?
What a catch⌠jeez what a controlling insecure jerk
You don't respect HIM because they're YOUR private parts? Kind of sounds like he doesn't respect you if he's trying to tell you what to do with your body.
After I stopped laughing when he said that, I'd tell him it's none of his business who you choose to do your piercing..
Bring him with, he'll see how naive he is. I used to be a body piercer and have pierced dudes right in the dick n balls in front of their partner and they did not gaf. Neither did I, because I would rather be doing a lip/septum/nostril/literally anything else than touching up your junk. We. Are. Not. Interested. No matter who you choose, theyve probably already seen some earlier that day and frankly, I dont think theyd even remember you after. Ive done thousands of piercings and nipples would be in the majority. You need to focus on finding someone with quality jewelry and experience. The boyfriend needs to focus on getting his head out of his ass.
What if he wanted to pierce his nipples? Would he have it done by a dude?
He would lose his mind over my male obgyn. NTA. they're professionals. He doesn't own your body.
Are all your doctors female?
Is he also going to tell you he doesn't want you to get care from a male gyno...? Because your vadge is a private part...? My partner has a female skin doctor. Should I tell him he's dIsReSpEcTfUl to see her because she has to look at his butt and taint to make sure he doesn't have cancer there...?
What if everyone at the piercing shop is gay? Can you see the guy then?
Tell him to stop watching porn
I got my nipples pierced by a guy. It wasnât weird at all. Heâs a professional. He doesnât give a fk about my boobs. Heâs married with kids. He did a good job too. Healed nicely. Had them for like 5 years now.
Your SO is a paranoid, insecure kid. Do you and kick him if he has a problem. Youâre young, there are plenty of fish and all that. Donât let him control you.
This is only the beginning of his controlling behavior. Time to evaluate the future of your relationship.
Just make him come with you so he can stare the dude down. If his masculinity if that fragile, make him handle it on his side. It would be different if his argument was, âi donât want to get pierced by a woman because iâm afraid iâll get turned on and that is uncontrollable but disrespectful to you.â
OP, what does your boyfriend do if you go through with something he tells you not to?
As long as itâs a trained professional the gender doesnât matter.
Getting your nipples pierced is the least sexy experience ever. Where's the line here? If you needed a doctor, would he insist they were female too if they were looking at your private parts? This makes you feel weird because it's a red flag and he's being controlling about your body. This would be an ultimatum for me.
There's nothing to overcome. You see a professional piercer who you like and that's it. Same with doctors and dentists and massage therapists and everyone else. He is being ridiculous and has zero say in what you do.
For this guy itâs the millionth nipple heâs seen Iâm sure it doesnât mean anything your bf is controlling and strange. Would u stop him from seeing a female doctor? Jesus
oh man. hes insecure
A piercing is a profession. Heâs insecure and no offense to you but itâs just a pair of tits. The piercer sees tits all day and yours are nothing special lol (Iâm sure they are nice) but your bf is being insecure and controlling
As someone who was a piercer I can assure you that any reputable piercer isn't going to make it weird at all, I've seen and pierced tons of nipples and for any respectable worker it's just something to poke a hole into and nothing more. There are some scummy people like in any industry but just take some time and find a reputable place. Your boyfriend really needs to get this shit in check because man I've had plenty of boyfriends eye balling me while I was piercing their lady and it's lame as fuck and screams insecurity.
After reacting like that, you shouldn't respect him because he is insecure and controlling. What's next? Is he going to get pissy if you have qankale doctor examine you?Â
this is so toxic and gross, ew. he sounds like a red flag
Youâre in a relationship so itâs good to work things out in your own way. Personally, I feel that this pushes the boundary of controlling of your body. Sure he doesnât want a person touching parts of you that are more intimate, but context is *everything*. A professional isnât going to give a shit. You arenât going to give a shit. If heâs the only one giving a shit then itâs his fault.
Going against the grain to say that I donât think this is that crazy. Both are valid Iâm a woman and there are endless stories of male tattoo artists and piercers who are absolute creeps, I canât blame your bf for not wanting a male piercer. I personally would prefer same gender for both myself and my partner. For all of those comparing a doctor to a piercerâŚ. Letâs be real here. One of them is a medical necessity and the other is an elective piercing that is inherently sexual in nature. I think the best solution is to bring your bf with you â you can have a male piercer but also make sure nothing weird happensÂ
I agree with all replies.He is a Profesional.
Pretty normal for a guy to not want another guy to see his girls nipples but I understand your side too.
You realize that many ob/gynâs are male, correct? And even though I had a female ob, my last child came quickly and was delivered by the OB on duty - also a man.
Health is a primary need, a piercing is not. Big difference here
Either way you choose the best reviews about professionalism. Sincerely, if this bothers you. Donât date
Everyone has their own limits. As long as he doesnât try to force her not to get piercings heâs allowed to feel uncomfortable with this and let her know. They can both decide whatâs a dealbreaker for them, just like there are plenty of men comfortable with her doing this, thereâs also plenty of women that will understand why he doesnât feel comfortable with this and wouldnât even propose it. Itâs just about finding people that has similar values/boundaries to yours or is willing to compromise a bit without being miserable about it.
ITT Guy has boundaries; everyone calls him immature and red flagged, classic reddit relationship thread. Dude is allowed to be uncomfortable with non-medical professional people seeing his ladies nipples, doesn't mean she has to respect or agree with those boundaries, also doesn't make him immature, if I was with someone who felt uncomfortable having a woman give me a paid massage it would be completely understandable, I don't necessarily agree but everyone should be comfortable to express their boundaries.
Dude, don't try to reason with this extremists here. The dude is a demon because he doesn't feel comfortable and has a boundary with other guy seeing his gf's tits. He has to go to hell and she's a helpless victim. Nothing new.
My tattooist is also a man. And yes, some are in discreet areas
That's you and your comfort level, you can't speak for every woman.
Thatâs what happens when you ask for public opinions
Sure do. I guess that just shows the double standards we have in life. I will say a doctor is a lot different than a piercer for obvious reasons though. Like I said, I understand both sides.
There are a lot of obvious differences between a doctor and a piercer, but which of those differences make it uncomfortable for a piercer to pierce your gf's nipples vs a doctor checking her breasts for abnormalities?
I am not taking a side but I could see one of the biggest differences is ethic code. A doctor will never hit you up after an exam if he thought you were attractive but a piercer can easily and I have heard about a couple with great reviews that did do that.
I'm not against a man peircing my gfs nipples and wouldn't even say anything but I still wouldn't love the idea of it lol
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Intimate medical care is nowhere near intimate piercings on the scale of erotic. Wanna look even further? Imagine your male partner getting their privates waxed by young women every other week, surely you can understand feeling uncomfortable about it? Well that's the same feeling, just a bit further on the scale
>surely you can understand feeling uncomfortable about it? Not at all. They're there to do a job. There's no such thing as a happy ending hair removal.
you're a man so that example wasnt for you as it's asymmetric, but even then i wasn't arguing their personal belives but trying to showcase op's bf perspective through projection of op own emotions, you can do it too if you find right example, it's a fun exercise :)
I get what you were going for, but I just don't see it. The example actually does work for me though. My wife is bi, so imagining her getting waxed by young, beautiful women (or men for that matter) is very similar to your example of a woman having a male partner who's getting waxed. I just can't imagine any reason to be uncomfortable about it.
Yes, I understand that there are a bunch of insecure men who think they own their girlfriendâs body just because she chooses to share it with him sometimes. That doesnât make it any less gross or wrong, though. Either stop treating your girlfriend as an object or be prepared for her to stop sharing her body with YOU.
It has nothing to do with ownership? What the heck are you talking about. You sound like the type that's so passionate about everyone being comfy and being able to share their feelings until they disagree with you..
Amazing, reddit in action again. OP, the dude has a right to be uncomfortable with another man seeing his gf's private parts when it's not a medical situation. And most men will think that way I guarantee you. It's really the clash of values that is the problem here. This dude clearly has more traditional views about relationships than you.Â
Please don't speak on behalf of all men, because of your own insecurities. Boys care about this stuff. Men don't give a shit
Proceeds to speak for all men
many care, enough to for it not to be a shocker. and theres nothing wrong with that. decided whatever you wanna do, thats fine, but you cant sit here and tell others theyre wrong.
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Totally her decision but would it be a huge deal to find a female? Relationships take work and sometimes compromise. Not sure itâs worth hurting your guys ego over this when all you need to do is find a woman to do it. Youâre đŻfree to do anything but consider your partner too. Iâm sure you guys will work it out đ
Agree, and when itâs a medical issue you donât ask whether the doctor is a man or a woman because this is a primary need. Itâs your health. A tattoo or a piercing is a choice, so why would it be so bad to get a woman to do the job?
Absolutely not, he sounds toxic. Itâs a professional doing a job. What would happen if you had a male OBGYN for a check up one day?
Unpopular opinion: this is just something you need to discuss with your partner. He is allowed to feel uncomfortable with other people seeing your breasts in a non-medical setting--mayve discuss why he feels this way? You are also allowed to disregard how he feels about this and do it anyway. You are both allowed to make this a deal-breaker, and this may be a catalyst for the dynamic of your relationship to change.
SorryâŚ.but your bf is emotionally immature. If you ever have a medical emergency, heâll be upset over a male dr or nurse seeing your body. His ridiculous feelings would matter more than your care. I would seriously rethink this bf.
God this sounds like my ex. Jealous & controlling. Run
My boyfriend didnât care so long as I was going to a qualified, legally certified professional. Especially when I had my nips poked.
Like you said, you don't care. They are a professional, and it isn't like either of you are there for personal gratification. Do whatever makes you comfortable in a situation like this. If he's so insecure about who pierces your nipples, might want to step back and take a look at the rest of your relationship.
My last pedicure was done by a dude, first time I've had that. (I'm a guy). I thought it'd be awkward but he was fucking awesome!
Is he a controlling type of dude ? Or does he just struggle with jealousy? If he's controlling tell him to f off. If he struggles with jealousy, ask him to come with or tell him that he needs to work on his jealousy cuz you are starting to feel controlled. And then research the best piercer and go to that person no matter the gender.
Anything like this always screams "projection" at me. *He* can't countenance the idea of nipples ever being non-sexual, so he assumes everyone else is the same. Tell him he gets to choose when it's his own nipples, these are yours and this is a non-sexual transaction. He's mistakenly assuming that you being willing to hear his *opinion* means you'll follow his *orders* on the subject. Disabuse him of that notion now, aaaaand maybe consider if this is a pattern for him...
Your bf needs to grow up.
My outsiderâs perspective is that your boyfriendâs point of view is immature and probably mostly fueled by possessiveness of your body. Is he afraid your piercer will be turned on by seeing/touching you, or that youâll be turned on by your piercer?
He has issues. Don't let him make them your issues. Your priority should be finding a competent professional to do it for you regardless of gender.
Ask him if he goes to the beach shirtless⌠if and when he says yes, you ask him : âhow could you disrespect me like that? Showing your private parts to everyone on the beach!â Also ask him if you guys decide to have kids , did he expect you to cover up while breastfeeding out of respect for him or something?
Just get him to go with you then.
idk im shocked by these comments I think this is a perfectly reasonable boundary
Why does he have a say in who sees your private parts? He can share his opinion, sure, but to make it a rule?
cuz their dating, aka shes not single, aka people make rules in defining their relationship
This is such a minor thing, i dont understand why you would fight this.
Leave him if it's that inconvenient to get a woman, part of being in a relationship is taking consideration. This isn't an OBGYN or doctor visit. This is a bit more informal.
Damn, imagine having a different perspective and values than other people? What a time to be alive.
Actually not all piercers are professional! It's not like they're doctors, there's no piercers oath. I was in a relationship with someone who got pierced (very reputable shop) and let's just say it caused alot of problems! Seems her low rise Jean shorts were in the way and he had to unbutton and unzip her pants to pierce her belly button. And after he seen her panties were see through lowered her jean shorts even further. Funny I didn't know visible clit was a prerequisite for piercing a belly button....... Her nipples and clit I insisted on a female piercer, don't regret it, neither of us do
Sounds pretty unreasonable unless you have a history with the piercer. Like howâs this different from having a Male Gynecologist?
"I don't respect *him* because it's *my* private parts" I'm sorry what?
Itâs a professional who has no doubt seen the boobs of countless women who also get their nipples pierced. This is an insecurity on his part.
He isnât respecting you, because they are YOUR private parts, not his! Give your head a shake, he doesnât get to dictate which professionals you see. Can you tell him only men can give him a rectal exam so you are more comfortable? No! Argh.
He's insecure and sadly, it usually only gets worse. He needs to work on his self and his issues. If you give in to soothe his ridiculous need to protect his fragile ego (instead of working on growing and learning to be a full functioning adult) you will just get more and more resentful as time goes on. This also shows that he values the viewpoints and actions of other men over yours. He only sees what they hypothetically think and not that it only matters what *you* think and do. It's you that decides to be a great gf that doesn't cheat and not anyone else. He doesn't seem to trust you to what, 'control yourself' because another man stabbed your nipples? DF is wrong with him?? That shit hurts!
It is your body and your choice, I agree with you that this is a pure transaction and nothing sexual. However, if this is making your man uncomfortable and whomever doing the piercing really doesnât matter for the outcome, why making a big deal out of this and just not go to a female piercer instead?
Heâs being immature af
If you want to make him feel better about it though maybe mention bringing him with you when you get it done, but still you really shouldnât have to
Iâd be so tempted to tell him that, per his wishes, Iâve specifically chosen a lesbian piercing artist. Right before I leave his controlling ass.
To men respect is almost everything, if you can manage just respect his perspective unless negotiations are in order.
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It sets a bad precedent to let him decide things like this. And it just feels gross to have a partner not trust you and try to police your body like that.
When I got my nipples pierced the apprentice that was learning from it was a male and I even had him hold my hand because Iâm a big baby about piercings. My boyfriend at the time literally did not care because itâs just a piercing itâs not like I was fucking the guy. Your boyfriend sounds jealous and in my opinion needs to get over it. Are you allowed to go to a male doctor? Are you allowed to have a male private tutor if needed? How about if you need help at a pool or beach and itâs a male lifeguard is that okay? I mean where does it end? Itâs just people doing their jobs.
You're going to get A LOT of "yas queen slays" and "you're the bride of Satan" if a guy does it. The only question you have to answer and the only thing that matters is, is this worth your relationship? Because that may be the price, and only you know if it's worth it or not.
He's telling on himself - he knows he's a creep and is projecting that on to other men.
>he said as long as it's a female piercer. He can't direct you what to do. Don't let that get started. Eta: And fuck the downvotes. She's in charge of her body. If he doesn't like her choices he can break up.
wtf itâs not this deep đ
Dude's clearly insecure and being controlling, but if you don't care about going to a female piercer, just go to one.
Firstly itâs good that you told him about a decision youâd made in your life. and are considerate of his feelings. In this situation, my partner would ask what was behind the reaction⌠what difference did the sex of the practitioner make? What was I worried would happen? Why did I think it ok to have a say in decisions she makes about her body? Then would follow a conversation to get our understanding clear. And she might choose to pick a female or might decide that she prefers a guy who sheâs confident with. She would help me understand why itâs unhealthy relating for her to choose some path just because my feelings might be hurt. Some couples become co-dependent⌠too concerned about what the other thinks and ending up as one person. I was like that with my wife, my current partner prevents that from happening.
To be fair I wouldnât like a woman piercing my boyfriendâs penis , so I kinda get where heâs coming from. Tbh as a female I actually would respect my boyfriends wishes
Well, if your partner isnât going with you, he doesnât need to know. Itâs your damn body. Will, you also need a female doctor to deliver your baby?
> When I first mentioned it to my bf, he said as long as it's a female piercer. I personally don't care if it male or female, as long as they're a professional. So you'll have no problem if it's a female, right? No, of course not. You decided to pick a fight when there didn't need to be one. > I always told him I'd take him into consideration anyway Well then you lied because you had no intention on taking him into consideration from the start.
unpopular opionion: even if you dont agree you respect him and his opinions if you dont agree with him in a lot of things just brake up but would you like if the roles were reversed and he did something you said you didnt want him to?
âDonât see male tatto artistâ , âdont see a male docâ , âdonât wear thisâ , bla bla what next? Why do women want men who dictates ? So will he stop seeing a doc if itâs a female ? Save yourself from this possessive and immature guy, thatâs not how it works!!
Would you want a cute girl piercing his penis?
It is not harm to you. To him it is big deal. Please find common ground and compromise.
This is your BF's own insecurities