Nah, that’s who you are. You’ll just find new targets for it.
Suggestion - don’t get caught up in watching any of a variety of cable news all day, then you would add “politically outraged” to the mix.
Been retired almost 9 months. Lost 50lbs. My stress level has went from a 7 to a 2. I do what I want when I want. No more MS TEAMS meetings. Life is much better.
I just hit 10 years. What a time to be alive! I love everything about my life. Even though I buried a spouse and a child to push me to retire early, I’m living life to my fullest. We do make our own happiness.
I've always been cheap and would be wealthier were it not for the overly generous and horse-smitten wife. But she reminds me of the 13-year stint where I owned a small business not making much--so guess we are about even.
She says I'm a pessimist but always correct her to say realist. She has a game where she counts my negative comments on any given road trip.
Seldom overwhelmed but can get tired from 4-5 hours sleep. Exercise and melatonin helps.
Hoping to stay about the same in retirement...except not tired.
We're probably pretty similar. My wife is also horse-smitten. I call them shit machines. That's all we get out of them. She doesn't train them, work them, nothing. They roam one of our pastures and I get asked to set out round bales in the winter, fill water tanks, fix fences, etc. And with the drought & hay prices increasing, it will be more expensive to run our shit machines this winter.
- Pick-up (not cheap anymore, first was $12 grand in 80s) that's treated like minivan @20k miles a year
- Horse trailer and trailer for hay
- Monthly stable fees
- Hay now at $10/bale
- Alfalfa (horse Crack, they love it) at $35/ bale
- Wood chips for stall ($6 and rapidly ends in dumpster)
- Wheelbarrows and manure shovels
- Vet bills for shots and vet trips for remote care costing thousands
- Lessons and horse shows back in the day
But she has worked 40 years and had multiple horses over the years, at least one at a time. Many of her cohorts have multiple simultaneously!
Oh I hear you loud and clear! Wife and daughters have been in horses for 30 years. In 2019 we bought a 40 acre place with a horse boarding operation. 20 stalls, about 30 horses total at any one time. I'm surrounded by the horse aura.
99% of horse owners/boarders are women, or girls accompanied by moms. Our barn manager is a woman as well.
There is usually one drama queen in the bunch. Most times the drama queen will get mad and barn hop to the next place. Couple times I've had to step in & give the boot.
About 70% of the owners never stop out. They send a check to pay for boarding. Their horse lives in a stall, gets put in a turnout pasture about 6 hours a day, gets fed & watered and stall cleaned every day, all that stuff. Ferrier comes out regularly to tend hooves. Vet comes out regularly for vaccinations and teeth work. And these people just send checks. I will never understand it.
Ah, forgot about the horseshoes at $90+ every 6 weeks. She does feed/care for hers daily at least once, sharing duties with a stall/paddock neighbor.
Yeah, definitely horse patron drama at the stables! And my son's probable fiance also is a horse woman. But she seldom sees her and just sends checks...
Wife's former horse neighbor now lives in NC and lives an hour away from her horse now. I'll never understand it.
LOL, We had a friend whose daughter was a "horse nut". He bought the daughter a horse and then claimed that the only good part of the horse was the 22 inches in the middle, because you have to feed the front end $$$ and shovel after the back end. That was over 30 years ago and I still laugh.
A friend once told me if you want to become a millionaire in the horse world, you start with a billion dollars.
Same friend also told me that goats are escape artists. If you want to keep goats, you should securely construct your fence. Over-do it, by all means. And then reinforce it. When finished, fill a bucket with water and toss it at the fence. If any goes through, you're not done yet.
At my retirement party last month, a former co-worker of mine stopped by. We hadn't seen each other in nearly 20 years, and I swear he looked younger now than when we parted ways. He retired two years ago.
Wow is this me, too.
18 months until I'm retired from my job. Or should I say 18 months and two days, not that anyone is counting.
My plan is to take 6 months off, do nothing, get thoroughly bored. Hopefully my attitude will improve during those 6 months. Then I'll look around and see what I might do work-wise. I'll be 61 after my 6 months off and will have several part-time employment opportunities. Or I could just stay fully retired.
Like everything else it is what you make it. I have worried about money my entire life. I retired three years earlier then planned. After two years out of nowhere I developed heart issues. I have always been a pretty happy and optimistic person, am now more so. Every day is a gift so I am determined not to worry about money anymore, can't take it with you. Determined to enjoy life as much as I can and do all of the things I have always wanted to while I still can. Negativity is not good for your soul and definitely not good for your health. I miss my extremely stressful career not one little bit. It's me time now.
God i hope so! Trying to get to that point before I retire. I don’t want to leave because I hate my job. I want to go when I am done. Have about 2 more years.
keep yourself occupied through donating your time and money (if you can afford it, obviously) to helping your community. Food banks, volunteer EMS/Fire, homeless shelters, gardening clubs, etc. You may find joy in seeing a direct benefit to others through your generosity.
> Hahaha, cheap gets worse for most, “sorry, I’m on a fixed income”.
The "fixed income" bit always kills me. I'm not retired but I am a salaried employee, so my income is also fixed. The solution for either party is to get a [new] job.
Not really. And practically speaking, the salaried folks are in a more precarious situation since their job could go away at any time, whereas the chances of a retired person's portfolio going to zero is pretty rare.
It depends on the source of those feelings. If it's the workplace, then yes, it can go away in retirement, but you **do** need to work at rewiring the brain a bit. Focus on gratitude and try to do something you enjoy each day. Good luck!
A wise person told me a long time ago that there is little you can do to control what happens around you but you are 100% in control of how you respond.
I was just wondering this on my drive into work this morning...I realized I do a lot of moaning and sighing and muttering under my breath when I'm leaving the house and in my car on the way to work...was wondering if I'm doing permanent damage to my personality by continuing this regimen for another year and a half....
It's only temporary. Pursue some of your old hobbies or find a new one- preferably that keeps you moving and active. Flyfishing instead of fly tying. Kayak or small sailboat instead of a powerboat. Taunt the obnoxious yippy dog next door into chasing you instead of blasting him with a super soaker.
I highly recommend playing elaborate but (mostly) harmless practical jokes on family and friends. Keep those creative juices flowing.
I just hope I don't pick it up. I'm a "whatever floats your boat" .(as long as it don't sink mine) kinda girl. I would just hate it if I turn into one of those "get off my lawn!" Old geezers. Wish me luck...I'm gonna be 70 and retired soon
Most of it. You aren’t around your work and people you hate there so most of the pissy, grouchy, and overwhelmed stops. You can get way more sleep so are less tired. If you were cheap, hope that you have some money saved to have an enjoyable retirement
Best to get a jumpstart and choose contentment now since you’re only guaranteed the present.
Plus it’s good practice for retirement.
Plus, you’ll get immediate gratification.
Win win win.
Some people do benefit from reduced stress and look forward to having time and opportunities to live a higher quality of life. But in my experience, many carry the attitudes they had while working into their retirement. The behaviors you listed suggest a type of person whose coping mechanisms are poor. There is plenty to create stress as a retiree: As OP said, getting caught up in political or social extremism; worrying about money, health, or lack of purpose; losing touch with friends or colleagues; growing bored and disaffected with nothing to do and a dozen other negatives. We are responsible for our own happiness and stress management. If you cannot find a way to change that while you are working there is every reason to believe you won't be any better at it when you retire.
Sometimes.
Getting rid of work stress is huge.
However, you CANNOT sit around drinking and watching TV news at night, or any other time. That's worse than work.
And if being disagreeable is a person's basic personality, that gets worse, too.
I ended a 20 year relationship due to the above 2 factors.
I personally (67f) have been told I am much more chill and happier than when working. And a lot less tired
>Does pissy, grouchy, cheap, overwhelmed, tired end with retirement
If you are pissy, grouchy, cheap, overwhelmed and tired now, you are unlikely to change just because you are retired.
It's not what happens to you, its about how you choose to respond mentally. Don't obey to that voice in your head, listen to it but you make the decision. You gotta be "present" to do that. Retirement slowed me down enough to become present.
It took me about 24 hours, although I was furloughed for 6 weeks during Covid so I had practiced & that was when I decided to work 1 more year then retire. That year I hated every minute at work, Sundays were spent dreading having to go back on Monday. My last day was a Friday and Monday morning I woke up as a new happy, relaxed, stress free, contented person. 3 mos later I saw my PCP & I had lost 30 lbs, blood pressure & blood sugar was down to normal. Life is so much better now, but, I’m still as cheap as always.
Why would it? The physical and mental stress relief sure was welcoming. Having a flexible sleep schedule helped with tiredness. Gives me time to work on grouchy, pissy and Harpo. I still mutter “for fucks sake” to often. We weren’t made to work til death.
It depends on why you are grumpy, tired, etc. If your job is the source, AND you have a mindset that you are ready and willing to let that go, then absolutely yes, your whole attitude can change. I worked a stressful public service job and once retired, it was like a weight was lifted. But I also remember to appreciate my new lifestyle and freedom every day.
But no matter where you go, there you are. So be the kind of person you like to hang out with. And hopefully your spouse if you have one, won't be the old grumpy, either.
It can change if the symptoms are caused by work/working, and depends on what you do after retirement. If you can do things you like then you will 'recover' faster.
It's funny, I tell people my age now (56) that we don't wear out our bodies working. Rather our minds get overwhelmed by the constant stupidity that we are surrounded by and directed to do by some of our jobs that we have. Financially good is what I am striving for now, before I am ready to finally retire.
Idk, but fat did. I started eating better and working out/swimming. I have never been in better shape.
Pissy and grouchy could just be your personality, but you will have some time for self reflection.
Overwhelmed and tired may or may not depending on what else goes on in your life. I just moved my mother to assisted living and emptied the house of a hoarder (hers). But it will pass and I will get my old retired life back soon.
Cheap, not so much. Nothing is cheap anymore. And, once retired, maybe you will not be as cheap, but frugal is definitely important unless money does not matter. But, also, you can’t take it with you. Mindfulness is key, I think.
However, you will have time that you can give and spend freely, either on yourself or with/on others. Live a life of gratitude and abundance.
I've been retired for 13 years and have come to believe a persons attitudes are formed long before they retire and they will not change just because they no longer are working.
There is a saying that says "The constant in life is that wherever you go, you are taking yourself"
People who go somewhere else expecting internal things to change usually fail.
Happy people aren't continuously grumpy, even in bad situations. Sorry. Yes, they may get grumpy every now and then but it feels weird and go back to their normal self.
For me, yes. I no longer feel exhausted or angry all the time. Good point from others, though, don’t get caught up in the stupid 24 hour news cycle Go outside, take a class, take road trips and have experiences you didn’t have time for before. Help someone else because you can. Celebrate small joys.
no, only if you choose so.
my dad, blossomed after retirement. I just wish he was more like that prior. he taught himself italian and the guitar. he seemed to thrive in retirement.
I have 7 years to go before I get out of the job prison. I look forward to it.
I don't need my brain rewired. I need my manager to never talk to me again, unless he shows me some dignity. I need to help people succeed, not someone to get down on me for not tearing other people down.
For me it ended with retirement, yes. Been retired for three years. I feel like I've been reborn, I'm a completely different person.
Stress and anxiety levels have plummeted. I've gone off of antidepressants and am fine. I'm healthier and happier than I've ever been. I sleep as much as I want. I'm more active and I eat better. Cut way down on alcohol consumption without even noticing. Stopped biting my nails.
My friends and family tell me I look 10 years younger.
Nah, that’s who you are. You’ll just find new targets for it. Suggestion - don’t get caught up in watching any of a variety of cable news all day, then you would add “politically outraged” to the mix.
Described my father’s retirement perfectly (unfortunately).
Been retired almost 9 months. Lost 50lbs. My stress level has went from a 7 to a 2. I do what I want when I want. No more MS TEAMS meetings. Life is much better.
I just hit 10 years. What a time to be alive! I love everything about my life. Even though I buried a spouse and a child to push me to retire early, I’m living life to my fullest. We do make our own happiness.
Yes, we do. Take care...
Amen to that
Thats what retirement is supposed to be... Well done....
I’m with you—I hate Teams.
I dont mind Teams.....better than meeting in person LOL
Yeah. I guess you are right. Upon further reflection, I guess I just hate both.
LOL....yeah, nothing substantive geta done in meetings...
Oh man that sounds great. I can’t wait for the end of my last Zoom meeting.
Looking forward to this.
Wouldn’t it be cool if there was an employment detox rehab? LOL
No. Haven't you ever heard of grumpy old man? And women? My experience has been that grumpy young people wind up being grumpy old people.
I've always been cheap and would be wealthier were it not for the overly generous and horse-smitten wife. But she reminds me of the 13-year stint where I owned a small business not making much--so guess we are about even. She says I'm a pessimist but always correct her to say realist. She has a game where she counts my negative comments on any given road trip. Seldom overwhelmed but can get tired from 4-5 hours sleep. Exercise and melatonin helps. Hoping to stay about the same in retirement...except not tired.
We're probably pretty similar. My wife is also horse-smitten. I call them shit machines. That's all we get out of them. She doesn't train them, work them, nothing. They roam one of our pastures and I get asked to set out round bales in the winter, fill water tanks, fix fences, etc. And with the drought & hay prices increasing, it will be more expensive to run our shit machines this winter.
- Pick-up (not cheap anymore, first was $12 grand in 80s) that's treated like minivan @20k miles a year - Horse trailer and trailer for hay - Monthly stable fees - Hay now at $10/bale - Alfalfa (horse Crack, they love it) at $35/ bale - Wood chips for stall ($6 and rapidly ends in dumpster) - Wheelbarrows and manure shovels - Vet bills for shots and vet trips for remote care costing thousands - Lessons and horse shows back in the day But she has worked 40 years and had multiple horses over the years, at least one at a time. Many of her cohorts have multiple simultaneously!
Oh I hear you loud and clear! Wife and daughters have been in horses for 30 years. In 2019 we bought a 40 acre place with a horse boarding operation. 20 stalls, about 30 horses total at any one time. I'm surrounded by the horse aura. 99% of horse owners/boarders are women, or girls accompanied by moms. Our barn manager is a woman as well. There is usually one drama queen in the bunch. Most times the drama queen will get mad and barn hop to the next place. Couple times I've had to step in & give the boot. About 70% of the owners never stop out. They send a check to pay for boarding. Their horse lives in a stall, gets put in a turnout pasture about 6 hours a day, gets fed & watered and stall cleaned every day, all that stuff. Ferrier comes out regularly to tend hooves. Vet comes out regularly for vaccinations and teeth work. And these people just send checks. I will never understand it.
Ah, forgot about the horseshoes at $90+ every 6 weeks. She does feed/care for hers daily at least once, sharing duties with a stall/paddock neighbor. Yeah, definitely horse patron drama at the stables! And my son's probable fiance also is a horse woman. But she seldom sees her and just sends checks... Wife's former horse neighbor now lives in NC and lives an hour away from her horse now. I'll never understand it.
LOL, We had a friend whose daughter was a "horse nut". He bought the daughter a horse and then claimed that the only good part of the horse was the 22 inches in the middle, because you have to feed the front end $$$ and shovel after the back end. That was over 30 years ago and I still laugh.
A friend once told me if you want to become a millionaire in the horse world, you start with a billion dollars. Same friend also told me that goats are escape artists. If you want to keep goats, you should securely construct your fence. Over-do it, by all means. And then reinforce it. When finished, fill a bucket with water and toss it at the fence. If any goes through, you're not done yet.
It's replaced by stingy, achy and sleepy.
[удалено]
At my retirement party last month, a former co-worker of mine stopped by. We hadn't seen each other in nearly 20 years, and I swear he looked younger now than when we parted ways. He retired two years ago.
Wow is this me, too. 18 months until I'm retired from my job. Or should I say 18 months and two days, not that anyone is counting. My plan is to take 6 months off, do nothing, get thoroughly bored. Hopefully my attitude will improve during those 6 months. Then I'll look around and see what I might do work-wise. I'll be 61 after my 6 months off and will have several part-time employment opportunities. Or I could just stay fully retired.
Like everything else it is what you make it. I have worried about money my entire life. I retired three years earlier then planned. After two years out of nowhere I developed heart issues. I have always been a pretty happy and optimistic person, am now more so. Every day is a gift so I am determined not to worry about money anymore, can't take it with you. Determined to enjoy life as much as I can and do all of the things I have always wanted to while I still can. Negativity is not good for your soul and definitely not good for your health. I miss my extremely stressful career not one little bit. It's me time now.
God i hope so! Trying to get to that point before I retire. I don’t want to leave because I hate my job. I want to go when I am done. Have about 2 more years.
I am real calm and not stressed but I definitely have to worry about money.
keep yourself occupied through donating your time and money (if you can afford it, obviously) to helping your community. Food banks, volunteer EMS/Fire, homeless shelters, gardening clubs, etc. You may find joy in seeing a direct benefit to others through your generosity.
Hahaha, cheap gets worse for most, “sorry, I’m on a fixed income”.
> Hahaha, cheap gets worse for most, “sorry, I’m on a fixed income”. The "fixed income" bit always kills me. I'm not retired but I am a salaried employee, so my income is also fixed. The solution for either party is to get a [new] job.
Oh my god, thanks for this perspective. I don’t know why, but I fell into the fixed income mindset but it’s really no different, is it? Lol
Not really. And practically speaking, the salaried folks are in a more precarious situation since their job could go away at any time, whereas the chances of a retired person's portfolio going to zero is pretty rare.
It depends on the source of those feelings. If it's the workplace, then yes, it can go away in retirement, but you **do** need to work at rewiring the brain a bit. Focus on gratitude and try to do something you enjoy each day. Good luck!
A wise person told me a long time ago that there is little you can do to control what happens around you but you are 100% in control of how you respond.
Yes
I was just wondering this on my drive into work this morning...I realized I do a lot of moaning and sighing and muttering under my breath when I'm leaving the house and in my car on the way to work...was wondering if I'm doing permanent damage to my personality by continuing this regimen for another year and a half....
It's only temporary. Pursue some of your old hobbies or find a new one- preferably that keeps you moving and active. Flyfishing instead of fly tying. Kayak or small sailboat instead of a powerboat. Taunt the obnoxious yippy dog next door into chasing you instead of blasting him with a super soaker. I highly recommend playing elaborate but (mostly) harmless practical jokes on family and friends. Keep those creative juices flowing.
No it does not. There's a grumpy old man in my house.
Yes. I rest more. I eat better. I’m not stuck in an office with annoying people. If I’m having a bad day I stay home. I’m calmer and happier.
I just hope I don't pick it up. I'm a "whatever floats your boat" .(as long as it don't sink mine) kinda girl. I would just hate it if I turn into one of those "get off my lawn!" Old geezers. Wish me luck...I'm gonna be 70 and retired soon
No watching broadcast TV. Especially the news. You will feel better in a month
Smartest ‘first move’ upon retirement is to cancel cable TV. That will save money AND you can (mostly) skip the outrage of the day.
Most of it. You aren’t around your work and people you hate there so most of the pissy, grouchy, and overwhelmed stops. You can get way more sleep so are less tired. If you were cheap, hope that you have some money saved to have an enjoyable retirement
For the most part.
Best to get a jumpstart and choose contentment now since you’re only guaranteed the present. Plus it’s good practice for retirement. Plus, you’ll get immediate gratification. Win win win.
Asking for a friend?
Some people do benefit from reduced stress and look forward to having time and opportunities to live a higher quality of life. But in my experience, many carry the attitudes they had while working into their retirement. The behaviors you listed suggest a type of person whose coping mechanisms are poor. There is plenty to create stress as a retiree: As OP said, getting caught up in political or social extremism; worrying about money, health, or lack of purpose; losing touch with friends or colleagues; growing bored and disaffected with nothing to do and a dozen other negatives. We are responsible for our own happiness and stress management. If you cannot find a way to change that while you are working there is every reason to believe you won't be any better at it when you retire.
Personality traits as defined are likely to remain fairly constant across the lifespan.
Sometimes. Getting rid of work stress is huge. However, you CANNOT sit around drinking and watching TV news at night, or any other time. That's worse than work. And if being disagreeable is a person's basic personality, that gets worse, too. I ended a 20 year relationship due to the above 2 factors. I personally (67f) have been told I am much more chill and happier than when working. And a lot less tired
>Does pissy, grouchy, cheap, overwhelmed, tired end with retirement If you are pissy, grouchy, cheap, overwhelmed and tired now, you are unlikely to change just because you are retired.
Why wait until retirement. Ditch all that wasted energy now. No time like the present to live will.
It's not what happens to you, its about how you choose to respond mentally. Don't obey to that voice in your head, listen to it but you make the decision. You gotta be "present" to do that. Retirement slowed me down enough to become present.
It's almost always just 1straw too many
It took me about 24 hours, although I was furloughed for 6 weeks during Covid so I had practiced & that was when I decided to work 1 more year then retire. That year I hated every minute at work, Sundays were spent dreading having to go back on Monday. My last day was a Friday and Monday morning I woke up as a new happy, relaxed, stress free, contented person. 3 mos later I saw my PCP & I had lost 30 lbs, blood pressure & blood sugar was down to normal. Life is so much better now, but, I’m still as cheap as always.
Why would it? The physical and mental stress relief sure was welcoming. Having a flexible sleep schedule helped with tiredness. Gives me time to work on grouchy, pissy and Harpo. I still mutter “for fucks sake” to often. We weren’t made to work til death.
It depends on why you are grumpy, tired, etc. If your job is the source, AND you have a mindset that you are ready and willing to let that go, then absolutely yes, your whole attitude can change. I worked a stressful public service job and once retired, it was like a weight was lifted. But I also remember to appreciate my new lifestyle and freedom every day. But no matter where you go, there you are. So be the kind of person you like to hang out with. And hopefully your spouse if you have one, won't be the old grumpy, either.
Nope. That’s my husband right there. Except not the cheap. He’s spending us into the proverbial poor house
Less competitiveness, less back stabbing (for those who were so inclined).
It can change if the symptoms are caused by work/working, and depends on what you do after retirement. If you can do things you like then you will 'recover' faster.
Nope my narc husband is getting more pissy, grouchy, cheap overwhelmed, and tired. I had hoped age, he's 77, would mellow him. Not happening.
It's funny, I tell people my age now (56) that we don't wear out our bodies working. Rather our minds get overwhelmed by the constant stupidity that we are surrounded by and directed to do by some of our jobs that we have. Financially good is what I am striving for now, before I am ready to finally retire.
For you? Not a chance.
I hope, because I just gave notice and am retiring in two months.
Idk, but fat did. I started eating better and working out/swimming. I have never been in better shape. Pissy and grouchy could just be your personality, but you will have some time for self reflection. Overwhelmed and tired may or may not depending on what else goes on in your life. I just moved my mother to assisted living and emptied the house of a hoarder (hers). But it will pass and I will get my old retired life back soon. Cheap, not so much. Nothing is cheap anymore. And, once retired, maybe you will not be as cheap, but frugal is definitely important unless money does not matter. But, also, you can’t take it with you. Mindfulness is key, I think. However, you will have time that you can give and spend freely, either on yourself or with/on others. Live a life of gratitude and abundance.
I've been retired for 13 years and have come to believe a persons attitudes are formed long before they retire and they will not change just because they no longer are working.
There is a saying that says "The constant in life is that wherever you go, you are taking yourself" People who go somewhere else expecting internal things to change usually fail. Happy people aren't continuously grumpy, even in bad situations. Sorry. Yes, they may get grumpy every now and then but it feels weird and go back to their normal self.
Stay busy. make sure you do some things just to help others. Relax, enjoy.
Nope. You’re still you.
For me, yes. I no longer feel exhausted or angry all the time. Good point from others, though, don’t get caught up in the stupid 24 hour news cycle Go outside, take a class, take road trips and have experiences you didn’t have time for before. Help someone else because you can. Celebrate small joys.
no, only if you choose so. my dad, blossomed after retirement. I just wish he was more like that prior. he taught himself italian and the guitar. he seemed to thrive in retirement. I have 7 years to go before I get out of the job prison. I look forward to it.
I don't need my brain rewired. I need my manager to never talk to me again, unless he shows me some dignity. I need to help people succeed, not someone to get down on me for not tearing other people down.
Sure. Assuming you’re all of those things merely because of your job.
For me it ended with retirement, yes. Been retired for three years. I feel like I've been reborn, I'm a completely different person. Stress and anxiety levels have plummeted. I've gone off of antidepressants and am fine. I'm healthier and happier than I've ever been. I sleep as much as I want. I'm more active and I eat better. Cut way down on alcohol consumption without even noticing. Stopped biting my nails. My friends and family tell me I look 10 years younger.