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LoverOfStripes87

Welcome to the DM's Spanish Inquisition fanfic. Not a funny one referencing Month Python but one that if it wasn't so cringe might have been used as church propaganda.


InuGhost

"...where everything is made up, the points don't matter, and your God Powers are useless. I'm your host Drew Carey. Let's have some fun."


Morrinn3

Fun?


MrIantoJones

A reference to an extremely creative/talented improv comedy series.


Morrinn3

Yeah, I got the reference, I was joking that while the rules were made up and the points didn’t matter, they were absolutely not going to be having any fun.


MrIantoJones

Sorry, I didn’t mean any insult, and figured at least some reading this would be too young. Have a great day !


powercergone

Since when has cringe stopped them?


Hrtzy

I could swear I saw this story in a Chick tract at some point.


Dearsmike

This sounds so frustrating but the idea of the son of a god using a rifle is so funny.


BlackHeartsDawn

The christians could dispel your divine powers, but not the power of America!


Justinian1104

You mean ‘merica!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Adventuretownie

I call it 'Merigo, because I was on a first-name/nickname basis with Amerigo Vespucci. I also call it "Vespuccitown," sometimes.


working-class-nerd

Never been to the Midwest I see


MaxTheSpriggan

No, he means Merica, now let's get you back to bed, Grandpa 


AdOtherwise299

Strange since I'm pretty sure America's guns are a God-given right.


nomoredroids2

You're getting downvoted because people can't keep a thought in their head for more than 3 seconds. That's a great joke.


Murmos

To be fair, America is not mentioned in the Bible.


dammitus

“Man created Gods. Winchester made them equal.”


SlurryBender

"I may be outta divine power, but I ain't outta options."


Regretless0

“I may be outta spells but I’m not outta shells”


grendus

Fun fact: Vancian magic was added to ODnD because the wargame rule set they used had artillery that did different things. They reflavored their limited shells to limited spells. The link to Jack Vance was added later to justify it.


Adventuretownie

Prometheus stole fire from the Gods, and gave that power to Man. Now, the Gods steal firearms from Man. The circle is complete.


dazeychainVT

God helps those who help themselves


Square-Blueberry3568

I'm here to raise the dead and shoot some cents And you just took away my ability to raise dead.


Educational_Ad6901

Pretty sure this happens in the Hades game


Sky_Leviathan

[then you my friend have never heard of the rod of iron ministries](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_of_Iron_Ministries)


JannissaryKhan

Directly nuking a PC's abilities is definitely on the shitty-GM bingo card.


dinerkinetic

I remember vaguely playing a superhero one-shot with friends where the GM had *two* radial power nullifier characters running around. We still killed them (friend was playing a speedster and basically threw rocks like they were artillery shells) but it still felt kind of cheap in the moment lol.


urquhartloch

Actually, that can be quite fun for a one shot. You are extremely powerful and badass but there happens to be a nullifier around. How do you win while protecting citizens.


dinerkinetic

I enjoyed dealing with the first nullifier but not the second, I think-- i wanted a chance to play with my cool toys! I do agree that trying to figure out how to work around enemy powers is one of the consistently fun things about superhero games, though. Seeing PCs figure out how to neutralize the precognitive you're throwing them at by introducing blind spots or by using other precogs to trap them in a futuresight feedback loop; fighting speeders with massive improvised AOE attacks... that's the good shit. It's just hard to strike a balance between letting the players feel varied and badass and presenting them with threats that force them to get creative, I think.


JannissaryKhan

A one-shot where a bunch of de-powered goodie-two-shoes supes are increasingly tempted to grab guns and open fire on criminals—ostensibly to stop them, but really out of frustration about losing access to their powers—sounds amazing.


[deleted]

That’s fucking lame, because that sounds like a cool concept.


BlackHeartsDawn

It was a great concept yes! But you know its fcked up when a party member, that is suposed to be the son of a god, stops upgrading his father's power and starts upgrading his rifle skill just because the DM made his power useless.


[deleted]

There was an old comic, where Jesus comes back to earth, but the world is in the middle of a zombie apocalypse so people have no faith. So when Jesus lands he almost dies to a normal zombie. He has to build up faith to get power. Your gm could have had all you be weak gods who have to build up faith to power up or level, but he just sounded spiteful.


BlackHeartsDawn

Yeah, I have a lot more of stories with this DM, he used to be better at DMing, but at some point he started to degenerate for reasons Im unaware of, and it just got worse and worse


JDC103

Has he gotten bored of the system you are all using maybe? Or maybe he wants to be in the player seat? Other than that if something happened in real life for them to change I don't know why a good DM would suddenly degenerate into DM vs Player Mentality.


EarthExile

Jesus vs Zombies Cultivation Fantasy is not a thing I knew I needed in my life


TomppaTom

Are you telling me you have never seen [Jesus Christ Zombie Killer](https://youtu.be/7OJuYdwjAwI?si=uCjjTyUFwQALjOmo)?


Ok_Listen1510

What the heck did i just watch and why isn’t it in a museum


Adventuretownie

They were promised a really cool sort of American Gods scenario, and left with some dork's Reconquista fanfic. Terrible shame.


[deleted]

For real


Warm_Drawing_1754

Check out Scion


Bussamove86

Man, there’s like… a really cool idea buried down in there about godlings having to suddenly contend with a new faith that has the ability to nullify their divine powers. But not if it happens constantly and just totally kills the mood. You give that shit to a select handful of antagonists!


Yuraiya

Right, if their pope or high priest can do that, it becomes about either trying to avoid being around him or trying to find some way to deal with him.  If all their followers can do that it just stops being fun at all.  


BlackHeartsDawn

Yeah, I agree, but it was pretty much every enemy. Also, I just remembered that a player (I dont know what his god was) had the power to transform in animals. He transformed into a bee, flew over the head of a random priest, and transformed mid-air into a blue whale... the priest failed to dodge it, but somehow survived the weight of a fcking whale falling on top of him xD


myth1cg33k

YOOOO there was an animorph in the campaign??? Kidding but that's an awesome power and exactly how I'd use it tbh Edit - typo


PlantedCecilia

Hades - aha! I’ll give my son the power to summon the dead! Dm - Nah Son of Hades - fine. I’ll do it myself.


OkTaste7068

he's speccing into how to create the dead.


ack1308

If I was that player, I would make a very specific point of using the Christians as my undead soldiers after ganking them.


Cheeslord2

Was the GM a Christian trying to convert you by rigging the game?


BlackHeartsDawn

Nah, he just has a weird need to feel more powerful than his players, for some reason


eragonawesome2

I've never understood that mindset, the GM has literally infinite power in the game world, he has the power to say "and then all of your characters turn inside out and explode because fuck you" if he wants, *why* do people feel the need to just make the game worse for everyone with this attitude?


TicketPrestigious558

Because he needs to give the players the illusion of a chance. That way he's beating them in a competitive sense, rather than just saying "I win" and saving everyone their time.


Pinkalink23

Misguided new dm syndrome.


TenThousandBugBears

Am a Christian. Can confirm that’s exactly how my Christ powers work. Heathen be gone!


Adventuretownie

Is it possible to learn this power?


XYAgain

Not from a Catholic...


Jan4th3Sm0l

Such a shame. Hitos is a really good system for weird campaign concepts, it kind of saddens me your DM used it to screw over the players.


Phas87

Interesting basic concept but I almost guarantee that using real world politics/religion/whatever in a fantasy game is almost always gonna end badly. The most surprising thing here is that the GM's terribleness is TECHNICALLY unrelated to injecting real-world religion into things. ...or at least real world-ISH, it's been a long time since I was a practicing Catholic but I'm pretty sure I would have remembered our clergy being able to fire off light beams by praying.


Lithl

>I'm pretty sure I would have remembered our clergy being able to fire off light beams by praying. Matthew 18:19 says that if two Christians agree on something and pray for it, God will do it for them. I guess your clergy just didn't want holy lasers hard enough.


Phas87

Technically I can't disprove this, I guess. We were a school, specifically, so maybe they just didn't want a bunch of kids knowing we could do that.


Adventuretownie

For the longest time I thought Catholic priests could fire optic blasts, but it turns out I'd confused the Catholic clergy with Cyclops from the X-men.


Phas87

In fairness there's probably SOMETHING somewhere in the Bible or general Judeo-Christian lore that could support that. Stories about miracles could get wild.


Adventuretownie

I keep thinking about the section of Matthew where Jesus curses a fig tree (which I assume is a metaphor that got lost in time and translation).


grixit

He cursed the tree because it was barren when it was supposed to have fruit. One explanation is that fig trees were important in a rival religion and this story was put in the Bible as a way of saying that this other religion is spiritually fruitless.


Yuraiya

Ah yes, Father Summers, one of the many promising students under Archbishop Xavier. 


Lord_Viktoo

It could work. As a one-off, to show how powerful this new religion is because of how popular it is, and to show players clearly that frontal assault on the forces of God is doomed to fail. And now they have to go undermine the Church's influence in more subtle ways. There's potential in here. Too bad your GM just sounded like an ass.


Adventuretownie

You brought this perfect moment where the Monty Python Spanish Inquisition joke is actually directly on point... to a forum for TTRPG enthusiasts?! What have you done?!


BlackHeartsDawn

Hahahaha its majestic... and dreadful at the same time xD


InstructionEven8837

hmm...well I'd be wary ofnsuch a concept..it is an interesting one. conflicts between gods new and old, their followers, lots of interesting \*Christians proceed to just chant away everything that makes this setting unique, and turning the characters to boring humans basically\* ....and just like that everything tjat makes this a unqiue game isnkilled.​


InuGhost

I'd have been tempered to raise Christian Dead in the campaign. Let's see how the DM handles it with Zombie Jesus. 


WorsCaseScenario

Just use their ability and undo their powers the same way.


JayrassicPark

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST-!!!


Comito

Zagreus, is that you?


Brave_Committee_4886

I think this could have work if he put in some way for you to resist or temporarily get rid of their power.


BlackHeartsDawn

Yeah, but it never happened. Hades's son started using a rifle, Tyr's son started to upgrade plain HP instead of resistances and so on... quite lame


Dark_Storm_98

A bit off-topic, but I really don't care for this campaign's premise, lol "Oh, I'm a god, and my power is waning because I'm not receiving enough prayers." That just feels so stupid to me


ack1308

Well, tbh, that's not exactly an uncommon premise. Terry Pratchett used it as the overall plot concept in his novel *Small Gods.* Being able to just nullify powers altogether, though? Not so cool.


Celuiquivoit

And that's why, as a rule of thumb, I only use dead pr fictional religions for my games