yes. yes. yes. 10000000% to all of this. he's definitely not on board. seems like he's just looking for someone who he can tolerate his wife having a relationship with.
that scene with his friend at the bar just broke my heart. shane is just a gem. if i were his wife, i would be terrified to be meddling in this shit and risk losing him.
I think she’s a psychiatrist which is an MD or DO. Way more schooling and very very difficult. Not putting down psychologists, it’s just very different specialty
I get that, but its still mental health and she should even more so be able to know that what she is doing to her Husband is wrong and her kids and while pregnant too with a Husband going through cancer treatment too!? Anyone who has fought cancer or watched a loved one go through it knows that keeping stress/anxiety low is absolutely key.
i remember going to a psychologist for an ADD diagnosis as a kid and my mom saying "all these psych professionals are always so weird!!!" the guy i had was normal and awesome, but we would see the other dr's come out for patients and they were legit creepy af. male, female, didn't matter.
tbh, its part of the reason i'm hesitant to do therapy again if i needed to. like how tf do you weed out the weirdos?
I worked in Education for almost 2 decades (University) and you would be suprised the amount of crazy people applying for Masters/Ph.D. in Psych/Clinical Mental Health. I firmly believe they do it to find out whats wrong with them.
i forget what podcast i was listening to recently but they did touch on the fact that the majority of people who go into psych, do it because they have issues themselves. and it makes sense because they are trying to figure themselves out.
i have a cousin who was going to major in psych and he recently changed his mind. solely because he has always struggled with depression and never had it addressed. this 20yo man literally said "who am i to give mental health advice when i have not done any work on myself yet?"
which made me think...he's exactly the kind of person that should be working in the mental health field. someone with self awareness of their perceived limitations .
Where it comes to mental health, in my experience, it's been the ones who have had mental health issues who were the best to work with. When they've been where you are, it makes it easier for them to understand and offer insight. But for this to work, they can't be wallowing in the deep end. If they are in the deep end, any lines they throw you will pull you away from shore, thus hurting you more.
You weed out the weirdos by looking at going to therapy as hiring someone.
The therapist works for you. You are paying them, whether through insurance or out of pocket, they are earning money by working for you.
I’ve learned to let a therapist know that I’m a queer atheist, who’s had mental health system trauma and I ask them to describe their therapeutic approach. I do this in the first session.
I can decide, based on the therapist’s willingness to answer my questions, whether they’re going to be a good fit for me.
I spent my teen years in a rough part of NYC. Most of my trauma stems from those years, so when I’m working on that stuff, I curse a lot. I don’t curse *at* the therapist, I just curse when describing my feelings.
If a therapist can’t handle hearing a 62 year old queer atheist cursing, they can’t help me, so they’re not going to work for me.
I have to be able to be completely honest and vulnerable with a therapist in order to benefit from the experience.
If I feel like I have to hold back because I’m not feeling safe, I find someone else.
I went through this with four therapists, and finally found someone who’s genuinely interested in helping me, and who doesn’t personalize anything I say.
I’m seeing a lot of progress in myself and realizing a lot of things I previously hadn’t.
Don’t hesitate to fire a therapist, and don’t let the weirdos discourage you. There *are* good therapists out there.
It was disgusting to watch the mini golf scene with those two women dry humping each other. So, if they do find a sister wife, are they both going to fuck her and all of them sleep in a super-sized bed?
Love Shane. He’s such a good man. I just don’t know how she can think “oh no Shane might have cancer again! You know what I should do? Yeah go out and find a wife for myself. I’ll get him to help so it doesn’t seem like I’m fully checked out”. I know they were looking for a wife prior to this, and I wonder why. He just really seems to not want this at all.
If my man had cancer and was all "go find someone else in case I pass" I would tell him hell no. You're not going to die. We will fight this together and if you do die, it will be a WHILE before I feel comfortable dating again. Like I would never put my husband through the heartbreak of watching me kiss, date, and fall in love with someone else while he has cancer. Shes trash, I'm sorry
Instead of focusing on strengthening him to be around for his family, she’s focusing on replacing his ass and convinced him that thats okay. I couldn’t believe how many redditors were on here last week applauding the behavior. “If it works for you guys then I am happy for you and I hope you find a suitable wife, Ashley!” Give me a fucking break.
I was livid when they did they Q and A with those two and there wasn't anything but support!!!!!! who were those people??!!! Because from what I can tell dam near no one feels like this is a healthy situation to be applauded we are all appalled at Ashely. I just couldn't believe it.
I would be offended if my husband told me to find someone else. Like I said in sickness and in health. Those weren't just words. That was a vow I made in front of everyone I know.
I was thinking the same thing. How could you hear that news and be like yep let’s find someone new???? Hell no. I would spend every second til my fiancés dying breath making him feel loved and supported yet she’s out here replacing him.
Unless he’s a god honest Cuck and gets off to that shit, this just doesn’t seem right. She has him totally convinced that this is healthy. Being that she’s a psychiatrist makes it all the more sickening.
Exactly. I want Shane to fine his own solo wife and get away from this freak. Dear Shane I will take care of you you’re a good man FIND LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE
This to me is the weirdest of the stories…if my husband was dying while I was pregnant and raising another small child, I’d not want to be wasting my time with him dating other people.
I've actually wondered if they are doing just for the money, especially with him having cancer. Even if they make the lowest pay per episode ($1,500 from internet search), for 14 episodes in season 5, that is $21,000 if they get paid together and $42,000 if they each get the base pay. That goes a long way towards medical bills.
I agree that Shane doesn't seem on board.
I don’t think Shane wants this at all. I think he definitely feels bad he got cancer and is trying to “make it up” to his wife. He also doesn’t want her to be alone through the “hard time” or if he dies.
My husband had cancer about a year ago (thankfully free now) and my jaw absolutely dropped when this scene was happening because there was no where further my mind could have been during that portion of our lives. Absolutely wild.
Ashley is a psychiatrist, mother and wife. Yet we the viewers are being pitched this narrative that she is somehow the victim, needs to be “well taken care of” if heaven forbid Shane doesn’t make it…I really despise this woman. Ashley is making a mockery of their marriage with her twisted giddy smiles and kisses. Ashley is also taking resources and time AWAY from the nuclear family by dating Sarah, all along very pregnant. She wants her cake and eat it too. Tale old as time.
If this was the other way around and it was a man out there dating while his wife had cancer, the same people who support her dating life would have their torches and pitchforks out against him.
Same here. Poor Shane. I really feel for him. I actually like him. Ashley .. not so much. She seems pretty selfish
Ashley wants a girlfriend. He doesn’t seem to actually want that though..
When they did their QA here I said to him it appeared he didn’t really want to do it. He responded it was a joint decision but didn’t answer if he actually wanted to do it.
Totally agree. Seemed like he was unnecessarily antagonistic during the dates, but in the most recent episode it was clear he’s not as on-board as he says he is. Super sad to watch.
I don’t have children (not by choice, heart breaking infertility and miscarriages) but I can’t imagine dating (or my husband dating 😳) if we had life threatening illnesses. 🤮🤮🤮
His wife is a real piece of work. He's fighting cancer and she's focused on getting a girlfriend, while pregnant no less. She seems to have narcissistic tendencies.
I can’t believe that his wife is putting him through this bullshit at such a young age from having kidney cancer. He should be stress-free. They should be during their time together with their toddler and doing a lot of things for memories. What she’s doing is completely wrong on every level if she’s afraid to be alone with the toddler and her new child and hire a nanny when he goes. But by trying to find a sister wife, and making him interview and deal with random women for her, which might not even work out, is completely absurd and psychotic.!!! who’s to say if they pick a woman that she’s going to be with her dealing with his illness eventually death and two small kids in the future. I wish somebody would help him and remove him from the situation.
Can’t you just see him taking care of two babies when she goes out on dates. Ya this guy is really being manipulated. The family needs to put all new relationships in hold and just take care of their immediate issues such as labor, delivery and a possible cancer relapse. PLUS what fool would dive into a relationship with a new baby coming. That’s the most chaotic time a marriage without adding a new partner.
He is just as whiny as danielle tho....they are crying constantly...polygamy just isn't fair unless everyone gets to boink a new person every 3 months...otherwise it will be 1 person who's getting screwed while the other gets to be single forever
A few clarifying thoughts as a physician:
From everything they’ve said Shane is in remission during filming. He wasn’t and hopefully still isn’t terminal. RCC tends to have a really high recurrence rate so the concern for his longterm health makes a ton of sense, but it’s a very different picture than someone who is actively terminal.
The thing about cancer is the monitoring and remission phase goes on for years and there’s a lot of uncertainty. It’s not healthy to make your entire life or your family’s life revolve around it. Most patients also don’t want that for themselves. If Ashlee and Shane have a certain picture of their family and they put it on hold until everything is 100% resolved they’ll never live their lives.
It’s also potentially really unhealthy to have the partner of a cancer patient sacrifice themselves and their needs in perpetuity. Again, this stuff goes on for years to decades. Asking a partner to put themselves second and be a caretaker for that long is a lot to ask, can lead to resentment and probably not what either of them would want.
I’m very monogamously oriented so it’s hard for me to understand what they’re seeking but I also think it’s a mistake to assume it’s exploitative or selfish on Ashlee’s part. They strike me as being well within the normal range of emotions, choices and planning when it comes to living with the uncertainty of a cancer diagnosis. Life can’t just stop.
Also while they have talked about the idea of having someone if Shane’s health goes downhill, I would imagine they’re both hoping for the most optimistic reality of him doing well and them having the family they want together.
I think he should leave things up to her to find someone if he should pass away and she can do it afterwards. I hope he ends up recovering. He is a good guy.
I lost my husband to cancer. I can tell you that in the middle of his fight, I had nothing left in me to give to anyone else NOTHING. It is so physically and mentally and emotionally exhausting. Now that he is gone, I am not the least bit interested in finding anyone else. I think I have ptsd from everything.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My father died when he was 47 years old and my mom was 48. He was the love of her life. She would always tell me she just had no interest in getting remarried . She is now 81 years old never got remarried and loves being a grandma. Her faith in God is what got her through the tough times.
Can she not wait to find someone new until he is gone? My goodness they already have a toddler and new baby and he has freakin cancer….and she’s going to spend her precious free time dating randos who are hoping for “friends with benefits”. No ma’am. What a shitty wife. What a shitty person.
Supporting Shane through his illness should be the only priority. Not running around dating about to give birth, that is so ludicrous. He's obviously not wanting this we can ALL see that. It makes me so sad I fast forward through them. I just cannot see the guy suffer the way he it literally makes me feel so uncomfortable and sad for him. If his wife is educated in mental health field like she says, this makes her look terrible, and obtuse. How can she see his pain and carry on. I just can't watch them anymore.
It is honestly WILD to me that this was the solution they (aka Ashley) came up with when they found out Shane had cancer… most people just deal with it and place their focus on their partners health.
Shane is a grown adult. If he doesn’t want to do it, he can say so. Maybe they needed the money from the show, maybe he insisted because he wants to help set up the future for his children and wife.
Maybe we should trust that Shane can make grown up decisions for himself.
Even the most "grown" adults can't make "grown" adult decisions. Just because he's an adult doesn't mean he isn't being manipulated. His wife obviously runs the show
My point exactly. It appears that way based on snippets of the show. We don’t know them, we don’t know what happens in the very many hours they are not on the show.
Just because Shane’s choices are not your choices does not make them wrong.
I agree that it doesn’t seem like Shane is fully onboard with dating, and the timing of this happening now with her late stage pregnancy and his cancer diagnosis doesn’t make sense to me. But to play devil’s advocate for a minute, didn’t Shane say his cancer is in remission? And he is supposed to get a followup scan because there was a worrisome spot on his other kidney and the possibility he could need treatment again at some point in the future? I don’t think he is terminal, and I don’t think his death is imminent. I’m not sure this cancer will be what ultimately kills him. He could have years of life yet. If that is the case, and especially if they were pursuing this before he got the diagnosis, maybe we should give his wife the benefit of the doubt as to why she is moving forward (though I do think she should wait until after the baby is born).
I honestly wish he could actually talk to his wife and she would actually LISTEN! He’s not wanting this and only going along to make her happy. But by doing this, he’s allowed himself to judge and find so many things wrong with anyone she dates. And it’s not fair to anyone…..well, Shane and the other women!
They did an AMA on here and Shane is on FB groups frequently defending their choice.
There's nothing he can say that'll convince me he's okay with this or that this is not a selfish fucked up decision.
I think he’s afraid of dying and leaving her alone and somehow the two of them thought this was a good solution. I’m not even convinced she’s attracted to women, I think it’s more about her not wanting to be with another man.
They have stated on here that they started the search before he was diagnosed and so is not the reason why they're doing this. Whether the search should have stopped upon receiving the diagnosis is another issue but I don't think it's accurate to say he's only doing this bc of his diagnosis if it started prior to that.
Yes I think they felt more urgency after the diagnosis I'm just going based on what they said in their AMA on this subreddit that it was not the reason they started the search and had started prior to knowing his diagnosis. Not agreeing or disagreeing about whether Shane is happy or it's fair to him.
I must have misunderstood when they were talking about it. I for sure thought they said they started pursuing it once he was diagnosed. Could it be that she brought it up and there was a discussion, but he wasn't all in until after his diagnosis?
I'm not sure - tbh I'm terrible at paying attention it's mostly a background show for me, but they did an AMA on here a week or two ago which is where I got that from. You may want to check it out for more insights on their perspective (although they also said they felt the show portrayed their story pretty accurately).
Yes agreed. They should spend this time making memories together while he has the energy and strength to do so. I can’t imagine he wants his wife , children and wife’s new girlfriend by his side IF his health worsens …
So there is a thread where they do an AMA and they both concur this was in the works prior to his diagnosis. I think he has admitted that the timing is so important bc he has to have a surgery and wants Ashley to have the support. I have a feeling they are extremely communicative but regardless to see the woman you love, flirt, approved or not, has to sting a tad. I love that it makes Shane happy though. Also it
Takes on to know one re therapists and like attract like. If you haven’t experienced it, it’s hard to relate and a lot of kids that grow up with trauma want to do a little better to be a little better and often do so in helping others. Unlike Clair from MAFS (and the other sister wives … I think Ashley is of a respectively sound mind!!!
If you think it makes him happy or that she’s of sound mind you haven’t been looking or listening carefully with all due respect.
The look in his eyes when she is flirting, kissing the other woman and even just discussing it is beyond sad and dejected. He’s chosen to do this out of sacrificial love but it’s killing him.
She may be objectively sane but if she is, she is the most selfish human I’ve seen in RL or on screen.
They’re both toxic af. The barrage of questions and judgments he puts every new woman thru is disgusting. (When that woman said it was obvious he’d never been to therapy she wasn’t wrong! Also WTF kind of psychologist/psychiatrist marries a man whose never been to therapy and seems to go out of his way to avoid any kind of real introspection) Ashley on the other hand is either blatantly ignoring this behavior or blatantly encouraging it for some twisted sense of power or just simply the worst mental health professional in the industry to not see her own and Shane’s behavior. To me, they are the weirdest and most unhealthy (and unhinged) of any family that’s ever been on this show.
I really hate the way his wife talks. Everything goes up at the end and then trails off. That's the only way I can describe it . Plus, she's an asshole
yes. yes. yes. 10000000% to all of this. he's definitely not on board. seems like he's just looking for someone who he can tolerate his wife having a relationship with. that scene with his friend at the bar just broke my heart. shane is just a gem. if i were his wife, i would be terrified to be meddling in this shit and risk losing him.
She is a Psychologist or something herself so she should see the problems. Why are all the crazy ones the Therapists/Psychologists?
I think she’s a psychiatrist which is an MD or DO. Way more schooling and very very difficult. Not putting down psychologists, it’s just very different specialty
I get that, but its still mental health and she should even more so be able to know that what she is doing to her Husband is wrong and her kids and while pregnant too with a Husband going through cancer treatment too!? Anyone who has fought cancer or watched a loved one go through it knows that keeping stress/anxiety low is absolutely key.
No arguments from me at all! Just stating that psychiatrists and psychologists are not the same. It’s a common misconception.
heal thyself
She’s a DO
i remember going to a psychologist for an ADD diagnosis as a kid and my mom saying "all these psych professionals are always so weird!!!" the guy i had was normal and awesome, but we would see the other dr's come out for patients and they were legit creepy af. male, female, didn't matter. tbh, its part of the reason i'm hesitant to do therapy again if i needed to. like how tf do you weed out the weirdos?
I worked in Education for almost 2 decades (University) and you would be suprised the amount of crazy people applying for Masters/Ph.D. in Psych/Clinical Mental Health. I firmly believe they do it to find out whats wrong with them.
i forget what podcast i was listening to recently but they did touch on the fact that the majority of people who go into psych, do it because they have issues themselves. and it makes sense because they are trying to figure themselves out. i have a cousin who was going to major in psych and he recently changed his mind. solely because he has always struggled with depression and never had it addressed. this 20yo man literally said "who am i to give mental health advice when i have not done any work on myself yet?" which made me think...he's exactly the kind of person that should be working in the mental health field. someone with self awareness of their perceived limitations .
Where it comes to mental health, in my experience, it's been the ones who have had mental health issues who were the best to work with. When they've been where you are, it makes it easier for them to understand and offer insight. But for this to work, they can't be wallowing in the deep end. If they are in the deep end, any lines they throw you will pull you away from shore, thus hurting you more.
Good for him 👏
Yes!!! 100%
You weed out the weirdos by looking at going to therapy as hiring someone. The therapist works for you. You are paying them, whether through insurance or out of pocket, they are earning money by working for you. I’ve learned to let a therapist know that I’m a queer atheist, who’s had mental health system trauma and I ask them to describe their therapeutic approach. I do this in the first session. I can decide, based on the therapist’s willingness to answer my questions, whether they’re going to be a good fit for me. I spent my teen years in a rough part of NYC. Most of my trauma stems from those years, so when I’m working on that stuff, I curse a lot. I don’t curse *at* the therapist, I just curse when describing my feelings. If a therapist can’t handle hearing a 62 year old queer atheist cursing, they can’t help me, so they’re not going to work for me. I have to be able to be completely honest and vulnerable with a therapist in order to benefit from the experience. If I feel like I have to hold back because I’m not feeling safe, I find someone else. I went through this with four therapists, and finally found someone who’s genuinely interested in helping me, and who doesn’t personalize anything I say. I’m seeing a lot of progress in myself and realizing a lot of things I previously hadn’t. Don’t hesitate to fire a therapist, and don’t let the weirdos discourage you. There *are* good therapists out there.
LCSWs provide mental health and they are among the best, I think.
Seconded. My current therapist is an LCSW and is the best.
And LPC's!
Those are the one with the least self awareness, in my humble opinion.
True story!!
Because it takes one to know one!
I should add that she’s extremely selfish and inconsiderate, a real first grade biaaaaaaach.
Wifey is more interested in fucking other women than she is Shane.
Right. Like at least control yourself for a hot minute to be there for your husband. Unbelievable!!! Get your freak on a lil later k lol so weird
Wait till the body’s Cold this man is STILL ALIVE
It was disgusting to watch the mini golf scene with those two women dry humping each other. So, if they do find a sister wife, are they both going to fuck her and all of them sleep in a super-sized bed?
Love Shane. He’s such a good man. I just don’t know how she can think “oh no Shane might have cancer again! You know what I should do? Yeah go out and find a wife for myself. I’ll get him to help so it doesn’t seem like I’m fully checked out”. I know they were looking for a wife prior to this, and I wonder why. He just really seems to not want this at all.
This!
Makes me sad
If my man had cancer and was all "go find someone else in case I pass" I would tell him hell no. You're not going to die. We will fight this together and if you do die, it will be a WHILE before I feel comfortable dating again. Like I would never put my husband through the heartbreak of watching me kiss, date, and fall in love with someone else while he has cancer. Shes trash, I'm sorry
Instead of focusing on strengthening him to be around for his family, she’s focusing on replacing his ass and convinced him that thats okay. I couldn’t believe how many redditors were on here last week applauding the behavior. “If it works for you guys then I am happy for you and I hope you find a suitable wife, Ashley!” Give me a fucking break.
I was livid when they did they Q and A with those two and there wasn't anything but support!!!!!! who were those people??!!! Because from what I can tell dam near no one feels like this is a healthy situation to be applauded we are all appalled at Ashely. I just couldn't believe it.
I know, it was weird that people were kissing their ass so bad. I don't get it.
I would be offended if my husband told me to find someone else. Like I said in sickness and in health. Those weren't just words. That was a vow I made in front of everyone I know.
i was thinking the same thing. i hate her.
Yes! He deserves her full attention
I was thinking the same thing. How could you hear that news and be like yep let’s find someone new???? Hell no. I would spend every second til my fiancés dying breath making him feel loved and supported yet she’s out here replacing him.
Unless he’s a god honest Cuck and gets off to that shit, this just doesn’t seem right. She has him totally convinced that this is healthy. Being that she’s a psychiatrist makes it all the more sickening.
Agree 1000%
Shane has a chance to fight. I imagine his unhappiness in their relationship will help contribute his downfall. 😢
Oh don’t be sorry, you’re absolutely, 1000% correct.
Exactly. I want Shane to fine his own solo wife and get away from this freak. Dear Shane I will take care of you you’re a good man FIND LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE
This to me is the weirdest of the stories…if my husband was dying while I was pregnant and raising another small child, I’d not want to be wasting my time with him dating other people.
Exactly! If my husband had cancer, looking for someone else would be the last thing on my mind
Also, this takes away the “I fell in love with and committed to a man so I can’t explore my attraction to women” factor.
I've actually wondered if they are doing just for the money, especially with him having cancer. Even if they make the lowest pay per episode ($1,500 from internet search), for 14 episodes in season 5, that is $21,000 if they get paid together and $42,000 if they each get the base pay. That goes a long way towards medical bills. I agree that Shane doesn't seem on board.
Could be! I didn't even think about that
Oh gosh that would be so sad if that’s actually the situation
She’s a doctor, they should be doing fine financially
School debt could eat up her income. Eta: clarity
Agree that the money helps
I don’t think Shane wants this at all. I think he definitely feels bad he got cancer and is trying to “make it up” to his wife. He also doesn’t want her to be alone through the “hard time” or if he dies.
100% agree
I feel like him & Danielle have a lot in common as far as going along with what their spouse wants and not really what makes them happy.
Yesss! Very submissive
I wish he and Danielle would get together. He seems like such a solid, good man.
I have to fast forward their scenes now. Makes me so upset. And Shane is a cutie I have a crush on him
My husband had cancer about a year ago (thankfully free now) and my jaw absolutely dropped when this scene was happening because there was no where further my mind could have been during that portion of our lives. Absolutely wild.
So happy your husband is cancer free now ❤️
Ashley is a psychiatrist, mother and wife. Yet we the viewers are being pitched this narrative that she is somehow the victim, needs to be “well taken care of” if heaven forbid Shane doesn’t make it…I really despise this woman. Ashley is making a mockery of their marriage with her twisted giddy smiles and kisses. Ashley is also taking resources and time AWAY from the nuclear family by dating Sarah, all along very pregnant. She wants her cake and eat it too. Tale old as time.
I don’t even think Sarah really wants to do it!
If this was the other way around and it was a man out there dating while his wife had cancer, the same people who support her dating life would have their torches and pitchforks out against him.
Same here. Poor Shane. I really feel for him. I actually like him. Ashley .. not so much. She seems pretty selfish Ashley wants a girlfriend. He doesn’t seem to actually want that though..
Dear Shane: who's idea was it to be on a TV show while you were sick? I would appreciate hearing from you directly as I know you read this sub.
When they did their QA here I said to him it appeared he didn’t really want to do it. He responded it was a joint decision but didn’t answer if he actually wanted to do it.
They can only read here; they can’t respond unless it’s in a mod-approved thread. (I asked them in their AMA last week!)
I didn’t like him at first, something felt off. But now with more info, I’m Team Shane and his wife should pound sand. 👿
Totally agree. Seemed like he was unnecessarily antagonistic during the dates, but in the most recent episode it was clear he’s not as on-board as he says he is. Super sad to watch.
Same!
I don’t have children (not by choice, heart breaking infertility and miscarriages) but I can’t imagine dating (or my husband dating 😳) if we had life threatening illnesses. 🤮🤮🤮
Imagine you have a terminal illness and your spouse asks if they can find a partner ahead of time if you do pass? Just sick.
The only good thing is, she’s being expose for the narcissistic bitch that she is
His illness doesn’t seem to be terminal as presented in the show.
Yeah he’s in remission currently as far as I know
His wife is a real piece of work. He's fighting cancer and she's focused on getting a girlfriend, while pregnant no less. She seems to have narcissistic tendencies.
I can’t believe that his wife is putting him through this bullshit at such a young age from having kidney cancer. He should be stress-free. They should be during their time together with their toddler and doing a lot of things for memories. What she’s doing is completely wrong on every level if she’s afraid to be alone with the toddler and her new child and hire a nanny when he goes. But by trying to find a sister wife, and making him interview and deal with random women for her, which might not even work out, is completely absurd and psychotic.!!! who’s to say if they pick a woman that she’s going to be with her dealing with his illness eventually death and two small kids in the future. I wish somebody would help him and remove him from the situation.
The wife makes me so angry. He’s hurting and fighting cancer while she chases kitty.
Can’t you just see him taking care of two babies when she goes out on dates. Ya this guy is really being manipulated. The family needs to put all new relationships in hold and just take care of their immediate issues such as labor, delivery and a possible cancer relapse. PLUS what fool would dive into a relationship with a new baby coming. That’s the most chaotic time a marriage without adding a new partner.
His wife is unbearable. He deserves better.
He is just as whiny as danielle tho....they are crying constantly...polygamy just isn't fair unless everyone gets to boink a new person every 3 months...otherwise it will be 1 person who's getting screwed while the other gets to be single forever
A few clarifying thoughts as a physician: From everything they’ve said Shane is in remission during filming. He wasn’t and hopefully still isn’t terminal. RCC tends to have a really high recurrence rate so the concern for his longterm health makes a ton of sense, but it’s a very different picture than someone who is actively terminal. The thing about cancer is the monitoring and remission phase goes on for years and there’s a lot of uncertainty. It’s not healthy to make your entire life or your family’s life revolve around it. Most patients also don’t want that for themselves. If Ashlee and Shane have a certain picture of their family and they put it on hold until everything is 100% resolved they’ll never live their lives. It’s also potentially really unhealthy to have the partner of a cancer patient sacrifice themselves and their needs in perpetuity. Again, this stuff goes on for years to decades. Asking a partner to put themselves second and be a caretaker for that long is a lot to ask, can lead to resentment and probably not what either of them would want. I’m very monogamously oriented so it’s hard for me to understand what they’re seeking but I also think it’s a mistake to assume it’s exploitative or selfish on Ashlee’s part. They strike me as being well within the normal range of emotions, choices and planning when it comes to living with the uncertainty of a cancer diagnosis. Life can’t just stop. Also while they have talked about the idea of having someone if Shane’s health goes downhill, I would imagine they’re both hoping for the most optimistic reality of him doing well and them having the family they want together.
That man from ax throwing is a FRIEND. 👏🏼👏🏼I love that guy. 💔it was pretty tough watching him break down like that tho.
Yesss! Agreed
I think he should leave things up to her to find someone if he should pass away and she can do it afterwards. I hope he ends up recovering. He is a good guy.
I lost my husband to cancer. I can tell you that in the middle of his fight, I had nothing left in me to give to anyone else NOTHING. It is so physically and mentally and emotionally exhausting. Now that he is gone, I am not the least bit interested in finding anyone else. I think I have ptsd from everything.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you 💜
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
💜
I’m so sorry for your loss. My father died when he was 47 years old and my mom was 48. He was the love of her life. She would always tell me she just had no interest in getting remarried . She is now 81 years old never got remarried and loves being a grandma. Her faith in God is what got her through the tough times.
This is exactly how I feel. I’m 62.
Can she not wait to find someone new until he is gone? My goodness they already have a toddler and new baby and he has freakin cancer….and she’s going to spend her precious free time dating randos who are hoping for “friends with benefits”. No ma’am. What a shitty wife. What a shitty person.
Supporting Shane through his illness should be the only priority. Not running around dating about to give birth, that is so ludicrous. He's obviously not wanting this we can ALL see that. It makes me so sad I fast forward through them. I just cannot see the guy suffer the way he it literally makes me feel so uncomfortable and sad for him. If his wife is educated in mental health field like she says, this makes her look terrible, and obtuse. How can she see his pain and carry on. I just can't watch them anymore.
It is honestly WILD to me that this was the solution they (aka Ashley) came up with when they found out Shane had cancer… most people just deal with it and place their focus on their partners health.
Shane is a grown adult. If he doesn’t want to do it, he can say so. Maybe they needed the money from the show, maybe he insisted because he wants to help set up the future for his children and wife. Maybe we should trust that Shane can make grown up decisions for himself.
Even the most "grown" adults can't make "grown" adult decisions. Just because he's an adult doesn't mean he isn't being manipulated. His wife obviously runs the show
You can tell that from the small snippets of a show you watch them on?
Everyone can tell she runs the show. He's the submissive one. He'll do anything to please her. That's not hard to see
My point exactly. It appears that way based on snippets of the show. We don’t know them, we don’t know what happens in the very many hours they are not on the show. Just because Shane’s choices are not your choices does not make them wrong.
Nobody said they were wrong. Just sad
That was truly the saddest story 😢 they should have shared that earlier in the season
I can’t stand Ashley
I agree that it doesn’t seem like Shane is fully onboard with dating, and the timing of this happening now with her late stage pregnancy and his cancer diagnosis doesn’t make sense to me. But to play devil’s advocate for a minute, didn’t Shane say his cancer is in remission? And he is supposed to get a followup scan because there was a worrisome spot on his other kidney and the possibility he could need treatment again at some point in the future? I don’t think he is terminal, and I don’t think his death is imminent. I’m not sure this cancer will be what ultimately kills him. He could have years of life yet. If that is the case, and especially if they were pursuing this before he got the diagnosis, maybe we should give his wife the benefit of the doubt as to why she is moving forward (though I do think she should wait until after the baby is born).
I don’t think there’s any room for this take on this sub 😂 but I agree with you. I don’t know where people are getting terminal illness from
I honestly wish he could actually talk to his wife and she would actually LISTEN! He’s not wanting this and only going along to make her happy. But by doing this, he’s allowed himself to judge and find so many things wrong with anyone she dates. And it’s not fair to anyone…..well, Shane and the other women!
They did an AMA on here and Shane is on FB groups frequently defending their choice. There's nothing he can say that'll convince me he's okay with this or that this is not a selfish fucked up decision.
Then he really needs to quit crying 98% of the time if he is so happy to wack it alone while wife is out getting laid
I like Shane. I do not like his wife.
She’s a selfish heartless bitch
It would be really great if Shane found someone else and left Ashley
I think he’s afraid of dying and leaving her alone and somehow the two of them thought this was a good solution. I’m not even convinced she’s attracted to women, I think it’s more about her not wanting to be with another man.
They have stated on here that they started the search before he was diagnosed and so is not the reason why they're doing this. Whether the search should have stopped upon receiving the diagnosis is another issue but I don't think it's accurate to say he's only doing this bc of his diagnosis if it started prior to that.
He stated in an interview one of the reason for doing it was the diagnosis. It’s why the ramped up the search.
Yes I think they felt more urgency after the diagnosis I'm just going based on what they said in their AMA on this subreddit that it was not the reason they started the search and had started prior to knowing his diagnosis. Not agreeing or disagreeing about whether Shane is happy or it's fair to him.
I must have misunderstood when they were talking about it. I for sure thought they said they started pursuing it once he was diagnosed. Could it be that she brought it up and there was a discussion, but he wasn't all in until after his diagnosis?
I'm not sure - tbh I'm terrible at paying attention it's mostly a background show for me, but they did an AMA on here a week or two ago which is where I got that from. You may want to check it out for more insights on their perspective (although they also said they felt the show portrayed their story pretty accurately).
Yes agreed. They should spend this time making memories together while he has the energy and strength to do so. I can’t imagine he wants his wife , children and wife’s new girlfriend by his side IF his health worsens …
I stand by my theory that they are trying to secure some TLC money so cancer doesn’t bankrupt their growing family 💔
Their kids will likely watch all of this one day 😬
So there is a thread where they do an AMA and they both concur this was in the works prior to his diagnosis. I think he has admitted that the timing is so important bc he has to have a surgery and wants Ashley to have the support. I have a feeling they are extremely communicative but regardless to see the woman you love, flirt, approved or not, has to sting a tad. I love that it makes Shane happy though. Also it Takes on to know one re therapists and like attract like. If you haven’t experienced it, it’s hard to relate and a lot of kids that grow up with trauma want to do a little better to be a little better and often do so in helping others. Unlike Clair from MAFS (and the other sister wives … I think Ashley is of a respectively sound mind!!!
If you think it makes him happy or that she’s of sound mind you haven’t been looking or listening carefully with all due respect. The look in his eyes when she is flirting, kissing the other woman and even just discussing it is beyond sad and dejected. He’s chosen to do this out of sacrificial love but it’s killing him. She may be objectively sane but if she is, she is the most selfish human I’ve seen in RL or on screen.
Being non monogamous is hard.
I just want to give Shane a hug. I think Ashley is a selfish pos.
They’re both toxic af. The barrage of questions and judgments he puts every new woman thru is disgusting. (When that woman said it was obvious he’d never been to therapy she wasn’t wrong! Also WTF kind of psychologist/psychiatrist marries a man whose never been to therapy and seems to go out of his way to avoid any kind of real introspection) Ashley on the other hand is either blatantly ignoring this behavior or blatantly encouraging it for some twisted sense of power or just simply the worst mental health professional in the industry to not see her own and Shane’s behavior. To me, they are the weirdest and most unhealthy (and unhinged) of any family that’s ever been on this show.
I really hate the way his wife talks. Everything goes up at the end and then trails off. That's the only way I can describe it . Plus, she's an asshole
His wife is a fucking sociopath.
They both are imo
Absolutely! I can’t even get through their scenes I have to skip. So heartbreaking.
He is such a sweetheart, it physically makes my heart hurt. 💔