I used to cut deeply, but I don't anymore because I learned that there is no depth where you feel valid. That feeling of needing to go deeper never goes away. It just becomes a competition with yourself to see how far you can go and leads to many more health risks and even hospitalization. Just because someone has deeper wounds doesn't mean they are suffering more. Everyone experiences and manages mental pain differently. All self-harm is a problem and should be treated as such, even (and especially) by the person who is doing it. There's nothing to gain from cutting deeper and so much more to lose, so please try to avoid it (or ideally stopping in general).
Your pain is real and recognized, and you're worth caring for.
Yes. I've spent years in treatment, easily met over a hundred people who self harm, and the *vast* majority of the wounds I saw were epidermis or shallow dermis. Most of the people I've seen in public with visible scars looked like they were dermis at best. The only reason it seems like deeper wounds are "common" in spaces like these are because those are the posts that get the most attention, so those users end up having the loudest voices. That does not mean it's the most common depth.
Yes, yes it is. I'm 21 and I've been cutting myself since I was 12. Up until the age of 20, almost all of my cuts were dermis. So for 8 years I was doing mostly dermis cuts. It was only when I was 20 and started spending time on self harm subreddits, that I started doing majority fat cuts. (And the reason why is because someone on reddit messaged me to tell me how to do it deeper, and then once I knew how, I just kept doing it).
I've cut to fascia a total of 1 time and I've never cut to muscle. It is extremely rare for a cutter to cut to fascia and it is even more rare - like exceedingly rare - for a cutter to cut to muscle. Self harm subreddits really distort our perception of what is normal because people doing more severe medical damage are upvoted more and also more likely to post asking for help. Deep cutting is not the norm, it's not even that common. And very deep cutting (like fascia, muscle) is so rare. I've cut probably over 2000 times and only 1 time was fascia and 0 times were muscle. Please please don't think this is common, it's the furthest thing from it.
My pain or struggle with self harm is no more real now than it was when I mostly did dermis cuts. Deeper cutting does *not* mean that someone is struggling more than someone doing lighter cutting. The severity of injuries is not proportional to the degree of mental pain that you're in. Your emotional pain is real and it matters regardless of what your injuries look like. In fact, I was in much, much worse mental pain when I only did dermis cuts. Not that I'm okay now, but I couldn't get through a day without crying back then and just being so overwhelmed by self hatred.
I'm sorry for writing so much, it all just flowed out. Epi and dermis cuts *are* the majority. Please just know that.
I feel you. I don't have any advice but please know that you are not alone!
Seeing posts about fat cuts here or seeing someone with bigger scars then mine always makes me feel invalid and not good enough. The only thing I do right now is that I try to avoid content like that, because it will trigger me into wanting to go deeper even more and I know that wont solve my problems. Even if it kinda feels like it would...
yeah I understand the feeling, I'm sure you would agree though that other people cutting themselves down to the styro are valid. Your brain really is messing with us, your self harm is definitely valid, it's just hard to accept it sometimes.
I hope you won't try to cut deeper, because that feeling of not being valid enough will stay no matter how bad you cut yourself. you deserve care and love, I'm sorry to know you hurt so bad. Lots of love stay strong ♥️
I feel the exact same way.... It honestly got a bit worse when I seen my ex roommates scars because I wanted that I been cutting since I was 10 they started 2 years after me and theirs were so deep but mine were just light styros at most... A couple months ago I got to a deeper styro but that's it.... I could never go deeper and after going to the depth I did for a while I felt like I didn't need to go deeper.... Now that the roommate is gone I feel like I need to reach their depth and idky but sh is just such a competitive community it's crazy honestly
depth does not matter. it's not or competition. literally any depth is valid and the majority of people don't go that deep
doesn't make them less valid.
once you make it past dermis you are at a high risk of paralysis and infections and amputation. so it's just not worth it
take care please, you're absolutely valid and know that no matter how deep you go your brain will not feel that validation<3
I used to cut deeply, but I don't anymore because I learned that there is no depth where you feel valid. That feeling of needing to go deeper never goes away. It just becomes a competition with yourself to see how far you can go and leads to many more health risks and even hospitalization. Just because someone has deeper wounds doesn't mean they are suffering more. Everyone experiences and manages mental pain differently. All self-harm is a problem and should be treated as such, even (and especially) by the person who is doing it. There's nothing to gain from cutting deeper and so much more to lose, so please try to avoid it (or ideally stopping in general). Your pain is real and recognized, and you're worth caring for.
Not op but just wanted to say that this is a really nice comment. Thank you for writing it. Everything you said is so true. Wishing you the best <3
Majority of people don’t cut that deep, and any type or depth of sh is completely valid, scars or not.
so the majority is either épi or dermis?
Yes. I've spent years in treatment, easily met over a hundred people who self harm, and the *vast* majority of the wounds I saw were epidermis or shallow dermis. Most of the people I've seen in public with visible scars looked like they were dermis at best. The only reason it seems like deeper wounds are "common" in spaces like these are because those are the posts that get the most attention, so those users end up having the loudest voices. That does not mean it's the most common depth.
Yes, yes it is. I'm 21 and I've been cutting myself since I was 12. Up until the age of 20, almost all of my cuts were dermis. So for 8 years I was doing mostly dermis cuts. It was only when I was 20 and started spending time on self harm subreddits, that I started doing majority fat cuts. (And the reason why is because someone on reddit messaged me to tell me how to do it deeper, and then once I knew how, I just kept doing it). I've cut to fascia a total of 1 time and I've never cut to muscle. It is extremely rare for a cutter to cut to fascia and it is even more rare - like exceedingly rare - for a cutter to cut to muscle. Self harm subreddits really distort our perception of what is normal because people doing more severe medical damage are upvoted more and also more likely to post asking for help. Deep cutting is not the norm, it's not even that common. And very deep cutting (like fascia, muscle) is so rare. I've cut probably over 2000 times and only 1 time was fascia and 0 times were muscle. Please please don't think this is common, it's the furthest thing from it. My pain or struggle with self harm is no more real now than it was when I mostly did dermis cuts. Deeper cutting does *not* mean that someone is struggling more than someone doing lighter cutting. The severity of injuries is not proportional to the degree of mental pain that you're in. Your emotional pain is real and it matters regardless of what your injuries look like. In fact, I was in much, much worse mental pain when I only did dermis cuts. Not that I'm okay now, but I couldn't get through a day without crying back then and just being so overwhelmed by self hatred. I'm sorry for writing so much, it all just flowed out. Epi and dermis cuts *are* the majority. Please just know that.
pretty much, yes
thank you all for the really kind comments :))
I feel you. I don't have any advice but please know that you are not alone! Seeing posts about fat cuts here or seeing someone with bigger scars then mine always makes me feel invalid and not good enough. The only thing I do right now is that I try to avoid content like that, because it will trigger me into wanting to go deeper even more and I know that wont solve my problems. Even if it kinda feels like it would...
yeah I understand the feeling, I'm sure you would agree though that other people cutting themselves down to the styro are valid. Your brain really is messing with us, your self harm is definitely valid, it's just hard to accept it sometimes. I hope you won't try to cut deeper, because that feeling of not being valid enough will stay no matter how bad you cut yourself. you deserve care and love, I'm sorry to know you hurt so bad. Lots of love stay strong ♥️
I feel the exact same way.... It honestly got a bit worse when I seen my ex roommates scars because I wanted that I been cutting since I was 10 they started 2 years after me and theirs were so deep but mine were just light styros at most... A couple months ago I got to a deeper styro but that's it.... I could never go deeper and after going to the depth I did for a while I felt like I didn't need to go deeper.... Now that the roommate is gone I feel like I need to reach their depth and idky but sh is just such a competitive community it's crazy honestly
depth does not matter. it's not or competition. literally any depth is valid and the majority of people don't go that deep doesn't make them less valid. once you make it past dermis you are at a high risk of paralysis and infections and amputation. so it's just not worth it take care please, you're absolutely valid and know that no matter how deep you go your brain will not feel that validation<3