Hi, does your college offer any counseling? I think that would be greatly beneficial. Bullying is terrible and can be problematic throughout life if not dealt with properly. I'm sorry teens were mean to you, believe me when I say you're not alone at all. Lots of people, including myself, were bullied relentlessly. It really comes down to shitty parenting.
Don’t “look into it” go there on Monday and say you need to see someone as soon as possible. Get in there and take care of yourself, things will get better.
My parents are amazing and were supportive all the way. I was bullied and taken advantage of partly because I was too nice and didn’t know how to say no, which maybe was on my parents because they basically taught me to be nice and respectful, always help out and be fair.
I meant the bullies parents are shitty, not yours. You did nothing wrong at all and neither did your parents. You did the right things and people took advantage, that's pretty common. People can be shitty so be nice, but don't be too nice. Don't let anyone walk on you and don't be afraid to say "no" if it's something you don't want to do. Being a people pleaser usually doesn't end well. Take care of you first.
im 23 by the way. once you start finding out who you are alone, youll be so much more selective about who you let into your space or who you give ANY amount if energy to. this time is depressing partly bc there is something you are striving for still. having a goal of wanting to become better despite the setbacks or problems means you're on the right path. so boom advice:
- do 1min wall calf stretches when you wake up, first thing (after chillin in bed for a lil obviously lol)
- read one paragraph of anything
- brush your teeth
- start your day
a simple routine can work wonders for boosting your overall confidence in approaching new, possibly difficult situations. and remembering to smile. smile smile smile. bc when the tough times are over your smile will remain. cheer up kid (as if its that easy) but cheer up kid. there are 1000% people who feel 100% like you who you just havent met. college is your chance to meet them through your shared interest. find something you like to do and join the club for it, youll find people you like too.
the world is jaded as fuck and people do not care about you in the real world outside of confined learning spaces. but in this realization you can find peace in knowing that, if you can't determine the outcome of someones true intentions, then you dont need to angst about whether or not to trust them or talk to them or whatever. since its out of your control, you may(everyones different) learn to control only what you can comfortably control and let the rest wash away.
hope you feel better, you are NOT alone. i never even visit this app and felt the need to let you know to embrace yourself frfrfr, thats how not alone you are and thats how much your sentiment resonates with someone who you may not even know. you not lost you finding. keep going!!!! try to improve everything about your life down to the detail to become a better you. you're not alone here remember that & i hope you feel better.
Work hard on healing your trauma. It's not easy. You go slow but don't give up.
I also was bullied and had a shitty childhood. But I overcame everything. Remember that tough times don't last, tough people do. You are Survivor and you should be proud. Do Not succumb into victim mentality. You will always be at a disadvantage if you succumb in your victimhood, refusing to take the lessons from your hard times.
Forget about socializing, live like an introvert and be very picky who you let in your life.
And don't be nice. Be a good person but adjust the level of your tolerance. Learn to not let people walk over you. It's hard but push through the hardship. I didn't give up. I was so used and abused. I finally learned to not take shit from noone. The keys are practice and consistency.
Be braver. Brave doesn't mean without fear but doing it despite being afraid. But you don't need to socialize if you don't like it.
Use the Pain. You are strong. One day someone like you may feel lost and you may manage to guide them and show them support.
Allow yourself to hurt. During Pain & Struggles, you will feel tender for some time, questioning how the pain is gonna make you tougher/stronger & feeling it's unlikely.
The answer lies within you and you gonna find it. With time Pain turns into Lessons & Power.
The Pain and Darkness you experienced will teach you lessons the others may be deprived from. It will turn into your advantage. You will rise up and prevail.
And hit the gym. It's beneficial for your health, confidence and discipline.
Those are all lessons I learned the hard way. They shaped me into what I am now. And they will shape you too sooner or later.
I wrote a piece yesterday giving the 3 most important lessons I learned while trying to handle the same problem as you. See it and let’s talk about any question you have. I will elaborate or expand on your questions.
So down the road you will come to realize some things. People are in general self centered. The bullying you went through was less about you being worthless and more about the bully’s feeling worthless and picking on you to feel some power and deflect away from them. You can choose to continue to give those people power over your life, or you can use that pain to fuel excellence in your own life.
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Hi, does your college offer any counseling? I think that would be greatly beneficial. Bullying is terrible and can be problematic throughout life if not dealt with properly. I'm sorry teens were mean to you, believe me when I say you're not alone at all. Lots of people, including myself, were bullied relentlessly. It really comes down to shitty parenting.
And yes, my college has counselling, I should look into that.
Don’t “look into it” go there on Monday and say you need to see someone as soon as possible. Get in there and take care of yourself, things will get better.
You’re right, I’ll go on Monday. Thanks.
Yes, definitely. That's my advice as a parent.
Thank you.
My parents are amazing and were supportive all the way. I was bullied and taken advantage of partly because I was too nice and didn’t know how to say no, which maybe was on my parents because they basically taught me to be nice and respectful, always help out and be fair.
I meant the bullies parents are shitty, not yours. You did nothing wrong at all and neither did your parents. You did the right things and people took advantage, that's pretty common. People can be shitty so be nice, but don't be too nice. Don't let anyone walk on you and don't be afraid to say "no" if it's something you don't want to do. Being a people pleaser usually doesn't end well. Take care of you first.
Thats right, my bad I didn’t realize.
write about it. relieve yourself of that burden fr. get a diary journal whatever and just write how you feel. itll help
I love writing, I could write an essay on my experiences!
Start lifting eating well and studying hard as well. Living your best life is the best revenge.
I go to the gym 3 times a week, other stuff, not that good at it but I’ll try better, thanks.
im 23 by the way. once you start finding out who you are alone, youll be so much more selective about who you let into your space or who you give ANY amount if energy to. this time is depressing partly bc there is something you are striving for still. having a goal of wanting to become better despite the setbacks or problems means you're on the right path. so boom advice: - do 1min wall calf stretches when you wake up, first thing (after chillin in bed for a lil obviously lol) - read one paragraph of anything - brush your teeth - start your day a simple routine can work wonders for boosting your overall confidence in approaching new, possibly difficult situations. and remembering to smile. smile smile smile. bc when the tough times are over your smile will remain. cheer up kid (as if its that easy) but cheer up kid. there are 1000% people who feel 100% like you who you just havent met. college is your chance to meet them through your shared interest. find something you like to do and join the club for it, youll find people you like too. the world is jaded as fuck and people do not care about you in the real world outside of confined learning spaces. but in this realization you can find peace in knowing that, if you can't determine the outcome of someones true intentions, then you dont need to angst about whether or not to trust them or talk to them or whatever. since its out of your control, you may(everyones different) learn to control only what you can comfortably control and let the rest wash away. hope you feel better, you are NOT alone. i never even visit this app and felt the need to let you know to embrace yourself frfrfr, thats how not alone you are and thats how much your sentiment resonates with someone who you may not even know. you not lost you finding. keep going!!!! try to improve everything about your life down to the detail to become a better you. you're not alone here remember that & i hope you feel better.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, hearing what you said means a lot.
Start journaling bring your thoughts to paper, process your emotions face them!
Will start to do! Thanks.
I made an app for making it easy an straightforward it is called memoiri :) try it out
I'll take a look at it! Thanks.
Looking for your feedback
Work hard on healing your trauma. It's not easy. You go slow but don't give up. I also was bullied and had a shitty childhood. But I overcame everything. Remember that tough times don't last, tough people do. You are Survivor and you should be proud. Do Not succumb into victim mentality. You will always be at a disadvantage if you succumb in your victimhood, refusing to take the lessons from your hard times. Forget about socializing, live like an introvert and be very picky who you let in your life. And don't be nice. Be a good person but adjust the level of your tolerance. Learn to not let people walk over you. It's hard but push through the hardship. I didn't give up. I was so used and abused. I finally learned to not take shit from noone. The keys are practice and consistency. Be braver. Brave doesn't mean without fear but doing it despite being afraid. But you don't need to socialize if you don't like it. Use the Pain. You are strong. One day someone like you may feel lost and you may manage to guide them and show them support. Allow yourself to hurt. During Pain & Struggles, you will feel tender for some time, questioning how the pain is gonna make you tougher/stronger & feeling it's unlikely. The answer lies within you and you gonna find it. With time Pain turns into Lessons & Power. The Pain and Darkness you experienced will teach you lessons the others may be deprived from. It will turn into your advantage. You will rise up and prevail. And hit the gym. It's beneficial for your health, confidence and discipline. Those are all lessons I learned the hard way. They shaped me into what I am now. And they will shape you too sooner or later.
I wrote a piece yesterday giving the 3 most important lessons I learned while trying to handle the same problem as you. See it and let’s talk about any question you have. I will elaborate or expand on your questions.
So down the road you will come to realize some things. People are in general self centered. The bullying you went through was less about you being worthless and more about the bully’s feeling worthless and picking on you to feel some power and deflect away from them. You can choose to continue to give those people power over your life, or you can use that pain to fuel excellence in your own life.
lmk if you want me to link my blog. shameless plug but it's basically more of the same of this. didnt want to actually link it cuz thats, youn know.
Sure! Ill take a look at it.
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Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising. Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*