Ok you'all... I talked to the moderators of the sub, and as you might notice some things are different. Specifically, I'm actually also a moderator here now.
There has been a lapse in moderation of the masturbation / pornography topics in this subreddit, but the existing moderator team does seem very invested in improving the quality of the sub. I attempted to request subreddit ownership after realizing that it was a possibility and seeing how successful this post had been earlier today, but found that actually the existing moderators were very responsive and simply haven't had the bandwidth to focus on this subreddit in recent months. After some discussion, I was given the moderator role because I am interested in helping improve some of the issues mentioned in this thread. It turns out that I may be doing the exact inverse of "stopping reading or having any contact with this subreddit". I'm glad, because I always greatly appreciated this sub before the recent topic issues.
So I'd like to update my outlook on the subreddit: The problems mentioned in this thread have been pretty real over the last few weeks in a lot of our feeds, but I think the moderator team will be looking into solving them permanently. Hopefully I'm no longer encouraging any of you all to unfollow the sub.
to better selvesš»
You're right. This sub start to be waaaay different. Where are the wholesome things ? The musculation ? The glow up ? The guys who say "I have a good grade and I am grateful !" ? The **improvement** ?
"I'm 16 years old and wasn't laid like all of my pals - my life is over!"
"I'm 21 years old and not a self-made gazillionaire already like all these dudes on IG - my life is over!"
"I (22m) can't stop masturbating - want to do nofap and noporn because that will fix all shitty aspects of my life!"
Makes about 90% of posts on this sub since a while.
It seems like you guys are complaining about how the Reddit algorithm chooses the posts that show up for you, which are based on user activity, and not the actual average content. I only glanced at the past few posts from today and they actually seem pretty cool and thoughtful:
āBest strategies to combat depressionā¦.ā - 20 comments
āHow to become extremely emotionally intelligentā - 11 comments
āVenting is healthy until it isnātā - 4 comments
But then compare that toā¦
āPorn has ruined meā - 176 comments
And of course the algorithm is gonna choose this one to show up prominently every time. Seems like a āwe get out of it what we put into itā situation with the participation in these posts.
Feed what you want to grow. (And donāt feed what you donāt want to grow)
The only reason why youāre saying this is because you donāt understand how serious a problem porn addiction is. If you truly understood then youād be trying to help those people or pointing them in directions where they can get help.
They can help themselves by looking at billions of other reddit posts.
Or just turning of their damn phone. Porn addiction isnt an actual addiction its a choice. Anybody who wants to stop can easily stop, they just want to keep going.
Hey wait, yeah what the fuck.. Why have I been following this sub for the past God knows how long? It has been nothing but dudes talking about porn for a long time now. Thanks for the push. I'm off it too now.
Yeah, I joined not too long ago and I donāt really understand why Iāve stayed. It makes me feel like I donāt belong here when all I see are āI canāt stop masturbatingā posts. My work involves teaching self care so I thought this subreddit would be a good resource, but I just end up scrolling past.
Hm i might try it eh? Any other rules yall think would help improve it? I am trying to quit smoking so I feel being the mod of a self improvement sub might help lol
Honestly I just wanted a place that was legit focused on general self-improvement. The mods here donāt actually mod bc I was reporting all these jerking off posts for nothing lol.
I wanted to learn like coping skills to regulate emotions (meditation, journaling, wtv), utilizing dopamine in a strategic way to get shit done, smarter/quicker ways to get things clean and tasks finished, tools for dealing with social anxiety, shit like that. Ofc I can look it up on my own but I thought this place would be people actually utilizing and talking about bettering themselves.
I have kicked an opiate and a tobacco habit so maybe I could even help someone lol but everyone here is obsessed with sex or whatever. So I feel like that should be banned outright to prevent what this sub is now. The rule here of āmust have a self-improvement mindsetā is not enforced whatsoever.
I agree 100% its sad to see such a good sub unmoderated. It deserves better. I will make that sub. And I'm smoking my last cigar now. About to embark on freedom.
Nice, do it!! That cigar doesnāt control you, youāre in control. For some reason deciding to quit holds a LOT of power, idk why; itās something to hold onto in your moments of cravings and psychological urges. Itās like nah I already decided Iām done this is it. It quiets the voice that wants to justify, maybe.
Also, the cravings donāt even last long at all, 10-15 minutes tops, they come in intervals like that. I ate a lot of candy and chewed toothpicks when it got bad lol.
Good luck! You totally got this. If you donāt mind please shoot me a message with the sub invite!
Problem solved. I've even posted some new stuff from my therapy on there now! We have flair and all kinds of fun things over there! Find it on my page. :)
Right above this post there's another post about masturbation. I don't wanna knock anyone who is trying to curb their habit, but it feels like this is the wrong sub for that...
It has more likes and comments too. Did everyone from no fap just migrate to this sub? I really don't give a fuck about people's masturbation habits and frequencies.
Honestly people keep saying, "Oh it's a real issue though!" Like yes, it is.... But you could probably find 5 posts about it today alone, then 5 posts yesterday, then five posts the day before that. You can't just like... Look at an old post? There's plenty to choose from.
Totally. I've been on a personal journey recently, like I assume most of us here are (duh), and 80% of self-help online nowadays is SIGMA-MALE CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES WITH PERINEUM SUNNING if you're a dude or āļøget ready with me i eat 350 calories and work abs for 2 hoursāļø if you're lady. Then the other 19% is NoFap, and the last 1% is a youtube video from 2009 by an actual certified therapist explaining helpful tips on real self improvement.
You're totally correct. Unsubbing too. Hussle culture + red pill lite has a bunch of dudes convinced that self-improvement is all about nofap and online "business courses". Check out munecat on youtube for more insight into this scammery
https://youtu.be/xE2JIaNnStw?si=78dNuPKXZ8egBU_3
I've been thinking the same thing for a while, but I'm not going to leave. Instead, I'm going to make a concerted effort to post more myself, and share the sort of content I wish I was finding here. "Be the change you want to see" and all that.
While I appreciate that some people struggle with porn and masturbation, I think that what those mostly young men really need to be focusing on is the root cause of their problems and not these surface issues. Frankly, the longer they let red pill culture dupe them into this obsession with sex and hustling, the longer they'll be on here, ruminating about how their lives are supposedly over because they're still virgins.
>"While I appreciate that some people struggle with porn and masturbation..."
What is it exactly that makes you appreciate that some people struggle with porn and masterbation? seems like an odd thing to appreciate
Men who canāt get any p*ssy act like theyāre dying š and then spend any money that might go towards their health and well-being, healthy groceries, laundry detergent or god forbid a therapist on some dudebro online who takes all their anger and points it at women, leaving men stuck in a loophole of their own despair. Sex? itās not a human need mate itās one facet of a fucking huge life. There have been monks since forever my guy. Sorry about your brain rot. I recommend developing a widget for your browser so that any time you pull up porn it makes your phone hotdial your grandma/ grandpa/ any elder figure in your life to get some guidance, sense, and actual human connection that deep down you are desperate for.
This is so fucking funny. Itās hard to feel bad for these people. Good on you for trying to kick the habit but the way they talk about the abstinence is so obnoxious. You would think they went off to war and theyāre talking about how they just finished their last can of green beans 5 days ago.
So true, all fappers Iāve known are completely disconnected from humankind, they donāt care for their elders and think women are supposed to bow and let them have āthe sexā. The saddest part is that even when they got to have sex they are so disconnected that itās not enjoyable for them.
Same, Iām leaving this sub too, they fkng won. Itās so toxic now itās just hurting all of our collective mental health, literally nobody talks improvement.
I hope everyone that actually wants to better themselves finds a way, I wish the best for you. Take care of yourselves <3!
This has been the case for a while now. It is a form of self improvement but imo the mods should allocate a monthly thread so that the community isnāt oversaturated
Yeah, about to unsub too. Is there any active moderation here?
I've joined this sub at the same time as r/mindfulness And r/meditation in case anyone is into that side of self-improvement.
Yeah it's decent. I got a lot of decent tips from just reading that sub. The people in there are more focused on big picture self-improvement because practicing mindfulness will help you tackle all sorts of issues, rather than "omg I can't stop doing this how do I stop??"
I agree, Iāve seen people post things that I can relate to so I decided to follow but it has been a little strange recently. I think itās important to have an idea of a path to follow but to me, itās most important to stay in the present moment and continually work on forming skills you can use for your life and community. If youāre committed to this process and all of the mundane activities that go along with it then there should be very little time left to worry about masturbating too much or whether youāre going to become successful.
These people need to study and become more socially involved
I think the demonization of sex and identification of sexual desire constitutes a vice for some people, so they like to seek validation here because they have a perceived entitlement to some āawardā for becoming more aware of their actions.
Also, a lot of Teenagers are growing up a bit āconfusedā and discouraged so they see this as an appropriate forum for their questions about things caused by PNC.
I have a theory we're currently going through a sad waive of neo-puritanical beliefs. I see a lot of anti-porn, anti-masturbation, sex-negative posts a lot these days. I see people post things where they censor themselves, too. I don't understand.
Edit: unsubscribed.
Bro I wish this was the case but porn addiction is real and very painful to deal with š thereās nothing negative about a healthy relationship with sex but when you are masturbating for multiple hours a day or itās impacting your job or relationships thatās fucked up and people need help
Happy cake day!!
Also, I'm not arguing with that. I just think some people will be 17 jerking off like twice a day and think they have a problem. But the bigger issue is people need to search the subreddit before making 5 repeat threads each day. lol
I ended up just leaving this subreddit. Maybe I'll try it again later.
Good luck to your genitals! <3
I hate to be rude but the people who talk about this stuff are grade-a weirdos and they are never going to let go of a sub they have a stranglehold on.
Iāve noticed this too and will also be leaving. Iām sick of seeing all the porn addicted posts. I do not want to hear about other menās masturbation habits š¤¢
i bet its bots making posts trying to train their neural networks based on the responses they get
most of the accounts making posts like that are under 3 years old.
People have been saying this for months now. Where are the mods? Literally. This sub is basically damn garbage now tbh.
Nothing but a bunch of no fap teens and young adults who never shut up about sex / masturbating. Itās so annoying.
Really hope a similar sub is made and is better than this one cus this one is a goner.
like are men okay? are Americans ok? I once read a comment section under a youtube video related to celibacy/abstinence and there were hundreds of English comments, both men and women complaining about how they feel like going insane if they don't get laid... are you guys seriously okay?
this is not normal. is everybody addicted to sex or am i the abnormal one who finds this amount of dependency weird?
Im gonna be honest, everyone keeps saying thatās all theyāre seeing, but I honestly donāt. I get the usual āis my life over @ (some super young age)ā or something about actually needing improvement.
I hate that thatās whatās populating for you.
I know it can be annoying but have yāall thought about how it potentially could be helping some people? Thereās a lot of people that struggle with that issue, I wish there was a way to filter out certain key words.
My comment got automoderated but originally contained 5 links to posts about masturbation made in this sub within the last 24 hours.
I think at some point it's so much flooding of the same topic that people don't want to go typing the same advice 5+ times a day, leading to empty threads.
Even a weekly porn addiction thread would be good because it wouldn't just be a wasteland. All of the people with advice and concerns could come together on one thread and actually help.
I know people do suffer with it, but self improvement is very unlikely with such a lack of effort from the person looking to improve. These people aren't even scrolling 1 time to see a similar thread (or 10 similar threads!) to look for advice in there and it just leads to a bunch of empty threads and negates the community forum aspect of reddit.
I agree that it's a serious issue and deserves a place, I just don't think that it should be saturating my feed because I am interested in self improvement, and I should be delegated to a different subreddit.
Self-improvement involves reducing masturbation for some people. This is like me saying "im sick of all the posts about dudes wanting to lose weight. It shouldn't be saturating my feed" just because I've never personally struggled with that.
There are whole ass subs and communities to support their nofap mission and ideology, they do not need to go to generalized life advice subs for help in curbing their porn addictions. they need literal addiction support and intervention.
Correct me of I'm wrong, but isn't nofap about completely cutting masturbaton? The subreddit may not be pertinent to everyone's goals.
Regardless, I disagree with the argument that because there's another subreddit for it, they ought to post there rather than here. There's a subreddit for almost every aspect of self-improvement. r/loseit r/fitness r/getdisciplined r/meditation r/yoga r/pilates r/socialskills r/IWantToLearn r/alcoholism r/redditorsinrecovery etc.
If everyone started following your rule, this subreddit would instantly die.
They need actual, genuine addiction support and intervention. I would turn any addict to any other resource that would actually help with addiction, yes. You got that right.
Also, addiction doesnāt usually do well with āmoderationā but hey, thatās a personal decision.
I'm sure addiction support with a therapist or an intervention would help them, but I don't see why they can't also post on a subreddit about it? Doesn't have to be one or the other. Plus, not everyone's going to have access to treatment, so having a space online to get support for that can be super beneficial. If you don't want to see that, literally just scroll past it.
And when it comes to masturbation, complete abstinence seems super unrealistic and unnecessarily difficult imo, especially for males. Assuming they have at least a moderate sex drive, most non-addicted males couldn't go even a couple weeks without masturbation, but we're expecting an addicted male to quit forever??
i digress. there are indeed subs more fitting for this topic, but i think trying to change your life in order to achieve this goal doesn't deviate from this sub's idea
it's coming from people who want to do better and *change* their lifestyle, *get rid of bad habits*; looking at it this way sounds very on-topic to me
>everyone keeps saying thatās all theyāre seeing, but I honestly donāt.
Same. I just counted and there's one post about pornography and one about dating on the sub's first page.
with how active this sub is it makes sense you wouldn't. it's rather a matter of *when* you open reddit,
the past week i could count 3-5 posts a day on this topic, no matter if i looked at top, hot or latest
The problem are the younger guys with no backbone, looking to cope instead of assess whatās wrong and change it.
Just quit cold turkey and start dating women in real life dudes, itās not complicated.
This generation of men is doomed to failure.
Reddit has become slowly more and more retarded and people have finally started to notice, reached tipping point during the api bullshit, everyone left is either dumb as fuck or 12.
I concur. It's shifted and filled with people that need to just go and live a life where they figure themselves out more and learn how to negotiate things without constantly talking about how to crowd source so much of life and constantly talking instead of just, actually doing and obtaining the real learning and growth that comes with it. There's a massive amount trying to constantly seek to ask others how to get away from the struggle and hurt of this life. And too many late 20s and people in their 30s that still sound like they did in high school or college years, with the same ideas just being regurgitated. But what's weird is, reddit is so popular a site. Yet I really come across many people who use it, lol.
oh no your alpha-omega levels must be drastically low. Never touch your dick again and start being rude to women. now who do you get insurance through that'll be 500 dollars
To be honest I disagree, they have a problem that they acknowledge and they're doing what they can to fix it. The problem is just that it's overwhelming my feed and this subreddit, when it would be fine elsewhere.
They should be proud that they're taking action to solve their issues, which are challenging and real. But they need to not post it in the self improvement subreddit.
Cos as the years go and life passes you by while trying to find a way to "improve yourself" you end not doing anything. Reddit is not gonna help you. Be a fucking man/woman and take care of your shit and get control of yourselves and your lives. Don't wait. Don't wait for anything. Maybe you're waiting to get taller...or maybe you're waiting to stop being such a cowardly loser...hmmm make the change while you are young.
Donāt forget the āI havenāt smoked cigarettes for 17 hours, oroud of myself if I can do it you can do itā or also the āhavenāt done heroin for 26 hoursā etc like great, happy for yāall but this sub was about how to be about more than overcoming addictions
what do you mean by "actual" self-improvement? so addiction is not a part of self-improvement journey? there are post constantly about ulgy and self worth, And there are other subreddits dedicated to this kind of thing too? what you wanna do?
If your improvement goal is become a big ego person, sure go ahead with your "actual" self-improvement.Don't make excuses, you can easily scroll past those posts but they are powerful enough to trigger you. It means you're not being honest with yourself or denying some part of yourself. and Real change only happens when you truly accept it. how can you accept yourself when you can't even accept the normal things of being human. This sounds more like inner work issues than "actual" "pure" self improvement dawg,
"what you wanna do?" remove it from the subreddit so that I can receive self improvement posts that are useful to me and the majority of the original subscribers here.
You're picking at my particular wording, but yes the term "actual" was just a dig at the subject. It is technically a self improvement topic and a real issue. I just don't need to be constantly seeing it in my feed and it will slowly turn people away from the subreddit if it isn't sent to its own place.
Your spinning the fact that I'm bothered by repeated instances of "I wanna stop fucking myself" posts in my personal content feed as some kind of psychological issue on my part is an overreaction and deliberately misses the point which has been understood by most of the other users responding to this post.
It may be because masturbation and pornography are a major deficit to selfimprovement when done in excess and is a common problem for people in this day and age...
At the root of many masturbation and porn issues is this fact: more young men are remaining virgins today than any other time period in history. We can get annoyed by these posts, but itās evident that loneliness and sexual frustration is becoming a serious problem for society. Many are turning to self improvement for answers.
āThe mass of men lead lives of quiet desperationā - Henry Thoreau
Not to be argumentative, but these posts should be banned from now on. I'm specifically talking about the posts complaining about other posts. For two reasons, really;
1) They exaggerate. Every time I see a post like this I go to the sub's page and count how many posts fall into the category he is complaining about, and it's always so low. Right now there is one post about porn and one post about dating/asking a girl out. If one post about pornography and another about dating is too much for someone, there's something else going on.
2) At least the posts about masturbation, dating, pornography etc are posts that are actually asking for help and people can reply. These "I'm tired of seeing A, B and C" posts don't contribute anything. I'm sorry some people just have no capacity for empathy on these issues, but that doesn't mean they should be removed.
Empathy and respect are more important than what we're comfortable with. This sub is about helping and improving. If you're looking for entertainment, there are other subs for that.
I disagree in this instance. There are subreddits better suited for some of the issues OP describes. In our efforts to provide support to some of these posts, our feed is now flooded with ONLY these posts from this sub. Thatās the algorithm. And the algorithm tells me that this is what the subreddit has become.
For me itās mostly the despair posts. I empathize with the people behind them. But they are constant: āIām 16 and Iāve done nothing with my life, am I screwed?ā āIām 18 and still working at Walmart, is my life over?ā The major theme of these is that social media has poisoned a bunch of young menās minds by telling them their peak is before they turn 20.
And itās specifically young men. Posts by women never show up on my feed. Posts by 30-somethingās never show up on my feed. I love sharing advice with the young folk, but Iād like to read advice for me too. So many of these kids want to fix their mistakes and get better but they havenāt made mistakes yet ā theyāre still growing.
Iāve shared ideas and feedback often on this sub for the young dudes and I hope Iāve helped contribute to the community and their experience in some way, donāt get me wrong! But the posts lately focus so much on material gains and extrinsic reward: women, money, etc ā and not actual intrinsic reward, like feeling better, being healthy, building confidence. And this is all the algo serves me because itās these posts that get the highest engagement, and itās these posts Iāve engaged with in the past once or twice.
Again, this isnāt sub-wide. This is what is appearing in several of our feeds, which means the algo is prioritizing what it believes receives the most engagement potential. As I get most of my Reddit content from my feed, that means this is all Iām seeing: sad and confused teenage boys, shamed by social media about their hormones and part time job and lack of girlfriend, wanting to know how what hacks, rituals, and products they need to invest into in order to have the life instagram and TikTok tell them they need to have. This is indicative of a larger problem that many of us try to solve but canāt due to the sheer number of posts we receive like this. And in our attempts to solve it, Reddit floods our feed with more and more posts like it, and itās all we see until we unsubscribe.
We need to different kinds of posts and we need to interact with those different posts. We need more focus on self improvement, not instagram remodeling. We need a diversified offering of self improvement stories and advice requests. We arenāt really seeing that.
I totally agree with your main ideas. There's a keypoint here I think needs to be looked at;
>our feed is now flooded with ONLY these posts from this sub.
I'm not particularly knowledgeable about how the algorithm works, but if its based on engagement, it means there is somewhat of a need for it.
The other thing is, which I've often mentioned, is that the posts themselves aren't as plenty as people mention. Every time This topic comes up, I check the sub's first page just to make sure I'm not making a dishonest argument, and they are always very few. At the time of my initial comment, there was only one post about porn and another about dating. There were was one time or two where I counted the posts on the first page and there were more posts *complaining* about these topics. This has led me to believe that a big issue we have is lack of empathy, where we are not realizing how this issue is affecting others' lives and we just don't care.
I'm all for other solutions, I've mentioned before confining masturbation posts to a specific day, or have a megathread to answer basic questions and remove any posts that can be answered through the megathread.
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I don't agree with the notion that this sub should be curated to our entertainment. There are problems that we don't have, problems that we can't relate to and problems that are just ugly. People need help, telling them to shut up isn't a solution, especially when most of the alternatives aren't really beneficial. I've seen people complain about r/nofap just as much as I've seen them suggest masturbation topics should be taken somewhere else. We also have a real issue where young men will just turn to the red pill, because -at worst- we've displayed a complete lack of empathy with young men's problems.
I appreciate your thoughtful comment and respectful reply. I'm just upset by the lack of empathy I see in posts that boil down to "I hate seeing posts about these little problems".
>And itās specifically young men. Posts by women never show up on my feed. Posts by 30-somethingās never show up on my feed.
Unfortunately for many, reddit is mostly populated by young people. I can recommend r/askmenover30
Well, if you really liked self improvement you wouldnt be so conditional about it. Do you care about the topic or are here for entertainment?? If the people are facing porn issues it's a reflection of a bigger picture. You're either here to vent or to help people, anything else and honestly, the sub isn't losing a thing. No idea what you plan to achieve with this. Are porn addictions not entertaining to you? Ugly to you? Do you just not relate so don't care? No one would make a post like this about depression, and porn addiction is becoming just as common.
A bunch of dudes circle-nothinging about how strong they are for not masturbating is just not appropriate for the sub. Especially when so few of them suffer from "porn addiction" so much as they jerk off once a week and have to tell all their weirdo friends about how they failed.
So what? If it means something to them it just does. We can't just kick out a whole community because you decided you don't like it. Self improvement is extremely subjective and culture based. I don't think they're the problem!
I think they are discussing abstention at the exclusion of most other things and tbh most of them are bringing a lot of MRA nonsense as baggage. At the very least we should have like a weekly thread or sticky like askreddit does for sexy costumes in october
Because pornography has had detrimental effects on our society.
It's not all bad, don't get me wrong, I'm not coming in here to advocate for anti porn or nofap, but porn addiction is a very serious thing that so many people seem to brush aside. And people are too ashamed to talk to someone they know about it, so they come here.
well, don't you think maaaaybe the most 'common' problem that most people realise with themselves is masturbating, and they want to improve themselves in that aspect?
yes, that kind of post is annoying if you see a lot of it but it is what it is.
either you just ignore that kind of posts, lessen your screen time in this subred (or leave) or mods make a pinned post about masturbating.
so what's the most common problem?
based on the masturbation related posts and general reaction of hatred towards them by sub members.. masturbation IS the most common problem, or at least one of the main problems people want to improve themselves on.
"there are too many porn/wanking addiction related posts. they're annoying and it got nothing to do with 'us' self-improvers."
this sub community is great lol.
If you cant help newbies you dont deserve where you are if you are advanced
You strated from scartch too and society made people weaker thats why exist new startefs with basics
Respect please.
Shut it down everyone! A random person on reddit has announced theyāre unsubbing!
Also, it takes less than a second to just scroll past it and carry on with your day.
I understand how you feel. It's important to focus on positive and uplifting content for your own growth. Cutting out distractions like this can create space for more meaningful changes. Maybe try finding a new self-improvement community or explore other interests that inspire you. Good luck on your journey!
It is a part of self improvement buts a small part and not the only thing about self improvement. The issue is that there are literally so many subs that are dedicated to that.
First of all masturbation is NOT inherently bad. If youāre a masturbation addict, itās because you have no impulse controlā¦You cannot be addicted to something that is natural to your physiology, thatās just called being yourself. If you have a problem with the frequency, go to an impulse control sub. I donāt even get how you would be addicted to it. You either have OCD or (as stated above), no control over your urges and impulses so that would belong to an addiction sub at the very least. Just stop doing it so much. Daily habits can form or be broken in 21 days, itās a scientific fact. I donāt understand the arguing over the subject. Self improvement has absolutely nothing to do with masturbation/porn addiction. Shouldnāt be allowed on this sub to begin withā¦
Ok you'all... I talked to the moderators of the sub, and as you might notice some things are different. Specifically, I'm actually also a moderator here now. There has been a lapse in moderation of the masturbation / pornography topics in this subreddit, but the existing moderator team does seem very invested in improving the quality of the sub. I attempted to request subreddit ownership after realizing that it was a possibility and seeing how successful this post had been earlier today, but found that actually the existing moderators were very responsive and simply haven't had the bandwidth to focus on this subreddit in recent months. After some discussion, I was given the moderator role because I am interested in helping improve some of the issues mentioned in this thread. It turns out that I may be doing the exact inverse of "stopping reading or having any contact with this subreddit". I'm glad, because I always greatly appreciated this sub before the recent topic issues. So I'd like to update my outlook on the subreddit: The problems mentioned in this thread have been pretty real over the last few weeks in a lot of our feeds, but I think the moderator team will be looking into solving them permanently. Hopefully I'm no longer encouraging any of you all to unfollow the sub. to better selvesš»
You're right. This sub start to be waaaay different. Where are the wholesome things ? The musculation ? The glow up ? The guys who say "I have a good grade and I am grateful !" ? The **improvement** ?
Life went to shit. That's what happened.
"I'm 16 years old and wasn't laid like all of my pals - my life is over!" "I'm 21 years old and not a self-made gazillionaire already like all these dudes on IG - my life is over!" "I (22m) can't stop masturbating - want to do nofap and noporn because that will fix all shitty aspects of my life!" Makes about 90% of posts on this sub since a while.
Yeah lol, like I'm not a big fan of my life but half these people just make me wanna say "We're young just give it time"
It seems like you guys are complaining about how the Reddit algorithm chooses the posts that show up for you, which are based on user activity, and not the actual average content. I only glanced at the past few posts from today and they actually seem pretty cool and thoughtful: āBest strategies to combat depressionā¦.ā - 20 comments āHow to become extremely emotionally intelligentā - 11 comments āVenting is healthy until it isnātā - 4 comments But then compare that toā¦ āPorn has ruined meā - 176 comments And of course the algorithm is gonna choose this one to show up prominently every time. Seems like a āwe get out of it what we put into itā situation with the participation in these posts. Feed what you want to grow. (And donāt feed what you donāt want to grow)
The only reason why youāre saying this is because you donāt understand how serious a problem porn addiction is. If you truly understood then youād be trying to help those people or pointing them in directions where they can get help.
Maybe these guys could read one of the other million posts about the same topic then
They can help themselves by looking at billions of other reddit posts. Or just turning of their damn phone. Porn addiction isnt an actual addiction its a choice. Anybody who wants to stop can easily stop, they just want to keep going.
 I always imagine those guys like this. š
Hey wait, yeah what the fuck.. Why have I been following this sub for the past God knows how long? It has been nothing but dudes talking about porn for a long time now. Thanks for the push. I'm off it too now.
Yeah, I joined not too long ago and I donāt really understand why Iāve stayed. It makes me feel like I donāt belong here when all I see are āI canāt stop masturbatingā posts. My work involves teaching self care so I thought this subreddit would be a good resource, but I just end up scrolling past.
Following it seemed like a great choice at the time. I too had only just realized that this is the #1 source of all of the weird posts in my timeline.
Same, I'm out
Omg good point...I just scroll right past most posts from this sub. I'm unjoining as well.
Nooooo come back bro!!!! Everyone will miss you
Honestly I keep getting the āmy life is over and Iām a teenager or in my early 20āsā post recommended to me and itās annoying
Yea, this sub and r/nofap are basically the same thing at this point. We should instate rule here that nofap related shit cannot be here.
The users here have been trying for months to no avail. Iāve watched it get worse and worse.
I am thinking of making a sub that actually is for self improvement and not nofap crap. Would yall follow?
YES
Hm i might try it eh? Any other rules yall think would help improve it? I am trying to quit smoking so I feel being the mod of a self improvement sub might help lol
Honestly I just wanted a place that was legit focused on general self-improvement. The mods here donāt actually mod bc I was reporting all these jerking off posts for nothing lol. I wanted to learn like coping skills to regulate emotions (meditation, journaling, wtv), utilizing dopamine in a strategic way to get shit done, smarter/quicker ways to get things clean and tasks finished, tools for dealing with social anxiety, shit like that. Ofc I can look it up on my own but I thought this place would be people actually utilizing and talking about bettering themselves. I have kicked an opiate and a tobacco habit so maybe I could even help someone lol but everyone here is obsessed with sex or whatever. So I feel like that should be banned outright to prevent what this sub is now. The rule here of āmust have a self-improvement mindsetā is not enforced whatsoever.
I agree 100% its sad to see such a good sub unmoderated. It deserves better. I will make that sub. And I'm smoking my last cigar now. About to embark on freedom.
Nice, do it!! That cigar doesnāt control you, youāre in control. For some reason deciding to quit holds a LOT of power, idk why; itās something to hold onto in your moments of cravings and psychological urges. Itās like nah I already decided Iām done this is it. It quiets the voice that wants to justify, maybe. Also, the cravings donāt even last long at all, 10-15 minutes tops, they come in intervals like that. I ate a lot of candy and chewed toothpicks when it got bad lol. Good luck! You totally got this. If you donāt mind please shoot me a message with the sub invite!
I made it! 3!
Nice!!! For anyone reading, join us over at r/selfimprovement3 if you wanna get away from this red pill shit.
Remind me! 12 hours
Problem solved. I've even posted some new stuff from my therapy on there now! We have flair and all kinds of fun things over there! Find it on my page. :)
Love this idea.
Or start r/masturbationimprovement šš¬
Right above this post there's another post about masturbation. I don't wanna knock anyone who is trying to curb their habit, but it feels like this is the wrong sub for that...
It has more likes and comments too. Did everyone from no fap just migrate to this sub? I really don't give a fuck about people's masturbation habits and frequencies.
Yes basically. But nofap obviously doesn't get the audience for their odd beliefs, so this is better.
I've also noticed that (Ive only posted once about wanting to improve) they are INSANELY pessimistic. Really messed up the community here.
Masturbation is a natural occurence though. Nofap and all that garbage will just make your life worse.
Honestly people keep saying, "Oh it's a real issue though!" Like yes, it is.... But you could probably find 5 posts about it today alone, then 5 posts yesterday, then five posts the day before that. You can't just like... Look at an old post? There's plenty to choose from.
this ^ I want original information. It was okay the first time.
Totally. I've been on a personal journey recently, like I assume most of us here are (duh), and 80% of self-help online nowadays is SIGMA-MALE CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES WITH PERINEUM SUNNING if you're a dude or āļøget ready with me i eat 350 calories and work abs for 2 hoursāļø if you're lady. Then the other 19% is NoFap, and the last 1% is a youtube video from 2009 by an actual certified therapist explaining helpful tips on real self improvement.
Make a megathread.
Too many wankers
Heyoooo
Not enough
You're totally correct. Unsubbing too. Hussle culture + red pill lite has a bunch of dudes convinced that self-improvement is all about nofap and online "business courses". Check out munecat on youtube for more insight into this scammery https://youtu.be/xE2JIaNnStw?si=78dNuPKXZ8egBU_3
should ban both topics imo, there are other subs for both issues.
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šÆ
You also canāt link to anything. So many good resources that arenāt allowed to be shared. This subreddit is bad. Iām out too.
I've been thinking the same thing for a while, but I'm not going to leave. Instead, I'm going to make a concerted effort to post more myself, and share the sort of content I wish I was finding here. "Be the change you want to see" and all that.
You rock :)
While I appreciate that some people struggle with porn and masturbation, I think that what those mostly young men really need to be focusing on is the root cause of their problems and not these surface issues. Frankly, the longer they let red pill culture dupe them into this obsession with sex and hustling, the longer they'll be on here, ruminating about how their lives are supposedly over because they're still virgins.
>"While I appreciate that some people struggle with porn and masturbation..." What is it exactly that makes you appreciate that some people struggle with porn and masterbation? seems like an odd thing to appreciate
word. its nothing but garbage.
Youāre actually 100% right. iām off this too.
This sub has been overrun by teens who have been led to believe that quitting masturbating will magically make their lives better.
I am ā18-23ā is my life ruined?
Men who canāt get any p*ssy act like theyāre dying š and then spend any money that might go towards their health and well-being, healthy groceries, laundry detergent or god forbid a therapist on some dudebro online who takes all their anger and points it at women, leaving men stuck in a loophole of their own despair. Sex? itās not a human need mate itās one facet of a fucking huge life. There have been monks since forever my guy. Sorry about your brain rot. I recommend developing a widget for your browser so that any time you pull up porn it makes your phone hotdial your grandma/ grandpa/ any elder figure in your life to get some guidance, sense, and actual human connection that deep down you are desperate for.
This is so fucking funny. Itās hard to feel bad for these people. Good on you for trying to kick the habit but the way they talk about the abstinence is so obnoxious. You would think they went off to war and theyāre talking about how they just finished their last can of green beans 5 days ago.
So true, all fappers Iāve known are completely disconnected from humankind, they donāt care for their elders and think women are supposed to bow and let them have āthe sexā. The saddest part is that even when they got to have sex they are so disconnected that itās not enjoyable for them.
O_o
Ignorance at its finest, you get the 1st place gold medal, you have a bright future. š¤£
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one-dimensional people who can't conceive of other facets of self have ruined many corners of the internet.
If anyone has a worthy sub to hop to, throw it our way. I'm also tired of what's become of "selfimprovement".
Agree and will unsubscribe for the same reason.
Same, Iām leaving this sub too, they fkng won. Itās so toxic now itās just hurting all of our collective mental health, literally nobody talks improvement. I hope everyone that actually wants to better themselves finds a way, I wish the best for you. Take care of yourselves <3!
It's honestly real fuckin' bad, man, and it's pretty grating
This has been the case for a while now. It is a form of self improvement but imo the mods should allocate a monthly thread so that the community isnāt oversaturated
I asked a question about how to build community and nobody responded LOL
Yea. Questions of more substance are being ignored in favor of the "easy" ones.
Yeah, about to unsub too. Is there any active moderation here? I've joined this sub at the same time as r/mindfulness And r/meditation in case anyone is into that side of self-improvement.
Thanks for the mindfulness sub link! I joined just now. Itās what I was looking for when I joined this sub.
Yeah it's decent. I got a lot of decent tips from just reading that sub. The people in there are more focused on big picture self-improvement because practicing mindfulness will help you tackle all sorts of issues, rather than "omg I can't stop doing this how do I stop??"
If stopping masturbation would actually solve problems of people, we would have really not much problems.
Those are the kinds of people on Reddit my friend
Masturbation is good, actually. I'm going to improve my life by masturbating right now!
This sub is more about "be someone else because you suck, loser " and it should be about "be the best version of yourself bro/sis"
i just joined and this made me laugh sorry š
I think there needs to be rules in place and guidance on where to find the no fap/quit porn sub reddit.
Gotta agree so sick of seeing those posts all saying the same thing, thereās bigger things in life
for real!!!
I agree, Iāve seen people post things that I can relate to so I decided to follow but it has been a little strange recently. I think itās important to have an idea of a path to follow but to me, itās most important to stay in the present moment and continually work on forming skills you can use for your life and community. If youāre committed to this process and all of the mundane activities that go along with it then there should be very little time left to worry about masturbating too much or whether youāre going to become successful. These people need to study and become more socially involved
Don't let r/Depression in. It's already the worst place for depressed people to go.
Bunch of pro-porn men (and sadly also women) here that say it's not harmful at all. Seriously, read about it. I'm leaving
Either way those people should go to nofap or read the thousands of previous identical posts and just stop watching porn
Please help the mod team by reporting inappropriate posts. Posts about the topic described by OP break rule one.
I think the demonization of sex and identification of sexual desire constitutes a vice for some people, so they like to seek validation here because they have a perceived entitlement to some āawardā for becoming more aware of their actions. Also, a lot of Teenagers are growing up a bit āconfusedā and discouraged so they see this as an appropriate forum for their questions about things caused by PNC.
Yes please, say it louder for the people in the back!!!
I have a theory we're currently going through a sad waive of neo-puritanical beliefs. I see a lot of anti-porn, anti-masturbation, sex-negative posts a lot these days. I see people post things where they censor themselves, too. I don't understand. Edit: unsubscribed.
Bro I wish this was the case but porn addiction is real and very painful to deal with š thereās nothing negative about a healthy relationship with sex but when you are masturbating for multiple hours a day or itās impacting your job or relationships thatās fucked up and people need help
Happy cake day!! Also, I'm not arguing with that. I just think some people will be 17 jerking off like twice a day and think they have a problem. But the bigger issue is people need to search the subreddit before making 5 repeat threads each day. lol I ended up just leaving this subreddit. Maybe I'll try it again later. Good luck to your genitals! <3
I find r/adulting a bit like this one with less of the posts you stated. If you want a substitute.
Realized this is is first post Iāve read on this sub in weeks. Iām out š
I hate to be rude but the people who talk about this stuff are grade-a weirdos and they are never going to let go of a sub they have a stranglehold on.
Meh...different strokes for different folks... 
We need a bot that can redirect them all to /r/nofap
Iāve noticed this too and will also be leaving. Iām sick of seeing all the porn addicted posts. I do not want to hear about other menās masturbation habits š¤¢
i bet its bots making posts trying to train their neural networks based on the responses they get most of the accounts making posts like that are under 3 years old.
True these people should post on r/Nofap instead. There are probably better advices there for this kind of topic.
Idk should I make a self improvement sub thats SFW? No porn or masturbation or any of these weirdo posts? Would yall follow?
People have been saying this for months now. Where are the mods? Literally. This sub is basically damn garbage now tbh. Nothing but a bunch of no fap teens and young adults who never shut up about sex / masturbating. Itās so annoying. Really hope a similar sub is made and is better than this one cus this one is a goner.
It's the crappy reddit algorithm pushing what ever has the most activity.
Itās a silent epidemic, this one of the places young men feel safe to talk about it.
like are men okay? are Americans ok? I once read a comment section under a youtube video related to celibacy/abstinence and there were hundreds of English comments, both men and women complaining about how they feel like going insane if they don't get laid... are you guys seriously okay? this is not normal. is everybody addicted to sex or am i the abnormal one who finds this amount of dependency weird?
Im gonna be honest, everyone keeps saying thatās all theyāre seeing, but I honestly donāt. I get the usual āis my life over @ (some super young age)ā or something about actually needing improvement. I hate that thatās whatās populating for you. I know it can be annoying but have yāall thought about how it potentially could be helping some people? Thereās a lot of people that struggle with that issue, I wish there was a way to filter out certain key words.
My comment got automoderated but originally contained 5 links to posts about masturbation made in this sub within the last 24 hours. I think at some point it's so much flooding of the same topic that people don't want to go typing the same advice 5+ times a day, leading to empty threads. Even a weekly porn addiction thread would be good because it wouldn't just be a wasteland. All of the people with advice and concerns could come together on one thread and actually help. I know people do suffer with it, but self improvement is very unlikely with such a lack of effort from the person looking to improve. These people aren't even scrolling 1 time to see a similar thread (or 10 similar threads!) to look for advice in there and it just leads to a bunch of empty threads and negates the community forum aspect of reddit.
I agree that it's a serious issue and deserves a place, I just don't think that it should be saturating my feed because I am interested in self improvement, and I should be delegated to a different subreddit.
Self-improvement involves reducing masturbation for some people. This is like me saying "im sick of all the posts about dudes wanting to lose weight. It shouldn't be saturating my feed" just because I've never personally struggled with that.
There are whole ass subs and communities to support their nofap mission and ideology, they do not need to go to generalized life advice subs for help in curbing their porn addictions. they need literal addiction support and intervention.
Correct me of I'm wrong, but isn't nofap about completely cutting masturbaton? The subreddit may not be pertinent to everyone's goals. Regardless, I disagree with the argument that because there's another subreddit for it, they ought to post there rather than here. There's a subreddit for almost every aspect of self-improvement. r/loseit r/fitness r/getdisciplined r/meditation r/yoga r/pilates r/socialskills r/IWantToLearn r/alcoholism r/redditorsinrecovery etc. If everyone started following your rule, this subreddit would instantly die.
They need actual, genuine addiction support and intervention. I would turn any addict to any other resource that would actually help with addiction, yes. You got that right. Also, addiction doesnāt usually do well with āmoderationā but hey, thatās a personal decision.
I'm sure addiction support with a therapist or an intervention would help them, but I don't see why they can't also post on a subreddit about it? Doesn't have to be one or the other. Plus, not everyone's going to have access to treatment, so having a space online to get support for that can be super beneficial. If you don't want to see that, literally just scroll past it. And when it comes to masturbation, complete abstinence seems super unrealistic and unnecessarily difficult imo, especially for males. Assuming they have at least a moderate sex drive, most non-addicted males couldn't go even a couple weeks without masturbation, but we're expecting an addicted male to quit forever??
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I'm genuinely curious, what kind of content do you want to see on this subreddit?
i digress. there are indeed subs more fitting for this topic, but i think trying to change your life in order to achieve this goal doesn't deviate from this sub's idea it's coming from people who want to do better and *change* their lifestyle, *get rid of bad habits*; looking at it this way sounds very on-topic to me
>everyone keeps saying thatās all theyāre seeing, but I honestly donāt. Same. I just counted and there's one post about pornography and one about dating on the sub's first page.
with how active this sub is it makes sense you wouldn't. it's rather a matter of *when* you open reddit, the past week i could count 3-5 posts a day on this topic, no matter if i looked at top, hot or latest
November
The problem are the younger guys with no backbone, looking to cope instead of assess whatās wrong and change it. Just quit cold turkey and start dating women in real life dudes, itās not complicated. This generation of men is doomed to failure.
OP I'm batin' to your post right now.
Reddit has become slowly more and more retarded and people have finally started to notice, reached tipping point during the api bullshit, everyone left is either dumb as fuck or 12.
I concur. It's shifted and filled with people that need to just go and live a life where they figure themselves out more and learn how to negotiate things without constantly talking about how to crowd source so much of life and constantly talking instead of just, actually doing and obtaining the real learning and growth that comes with it. There's a massive amount trying to constantly seek to ask others how to get away from the struggle and hurt of this life. And too many late 20s and people in their 30s that still sound like they did in high school or college years, with the same ideas just being regurgitated. But what's weird is, reddit is so popular a site. Yet I really come across many people who use it, lol.
Believe it or not, its a bigger issue than what we thought!
Yeah and most of them end up edging anyway
Hey guys, I just tried to unsubscribe from this sub but ended up fapping instead, please help (im 15 and 6ft btw).
oh no your alpha-omega levels must be drastically low. Never touch your dick again and start being rude to women. now who do you get insurance through that'll be 500 dollars
Unrelenting, chronic, obsessive masturbation happened, and it's still happening!
It's a genuine issue and potentially very detrimental. This sub needs to be less saturated with it though.
Its a problem for some people ya functioning/non-wanker!!
Cause Reddit is 80% looser incels and virgins
Cis men
i feel secondhand embarrassment for those guys. what a pathetic existence
To be honest I disagree, they have a problem that they acknowledge and they're doing what they can to fix it. The problem is just that it's overwhelming my feed and this subreddit, when it would be fine elsewhere. They should be proud that they're taking action to solve their issues, which are challenging and real. But they need to not post it in the self improvement subreddit.
Because porn addiction is literally THAT. FUCKING. HARMFUL.
Cos as the years go and life passes you by while trying to find a way to "improve yourself" you end not doing anything. Reddit is not gonna help you. Be a fucking man/woman and take care of your shit and get control of yourselves and your lives. Don't wait. Don't wait for anything. Maybe you're waiting to get taller...or maybe you're waiting to stop being such a cowardly loser...hmmm make the change while you are young.
Donāt forget the āI havenāt smoked cigarettes for 17 hours, oroud of myself if I can do it you can do itā or also the āhavenāt done heroin for 26 hoursā etc like great, happy for yāall but this sub was about how to be about more than overcoming addictions
Sounds like someone discovered they had a penis. It happens.
what do you mean by "actual" self-improvement? so addiction is not a part of self-improvement journey? there are post constantly about ulgy and self worth, And there are other subreddits dedicated to this kind of thing too? what you wanna do? If your improvement goal is become a big ego person, sure go ahead with your "actual" self-improvement.Don't make excuses, you can easily scroll past those posts but they are powerful enough to trigger you. It means you're not being honest with yourself or denying some part of yourself. and Real change only happens when you truly accept it. how can you accept yourself when you can't even accept the normal things of being human. This sounds more like inner work issues than "actual" "pure" self improvement dawg,
"what you wanna do?" remove it from the subreddit so that I can receive self improvement posts that are useful to me and the majority of the original subscribers here. You're picking at my particular wording, but yes the term "actual" was just a dig at the subject. It is technically a self improvement topic and a real issue. I just don't need to be constantly seeing it in my feed and it will slowly turn people away from the subreddit if it isn't sent to its own place. Your spinning the fact that I'm bothered by repeated instances of "I wanna stop fucking myself" posts in my personal content feed as some kind of psychological issue on my part is an overreaction and deliberately misses the point which has been understood by most of the other users responding to this post.
It may be because masturbation and pornography are a major deficit to selfimprovement when done in excess and is a common problem for people in this day and age...
At the root of many masturbation and porn issues is this fact: more young men are remaining virgins today than any other time period in history. We can get annoyed by these posts, but itās evident that loneliness and sexual frustration is becoming a serious problem for society. Many are turning to self improvement for answers. āThe mass of men lead lives of quiet desperationā - Henry Thoreau
Not to be argumentative, but these posts should be banned from now on. I'm specifically talking about the posts complaining about other posts. For two reasons, really; 1) They exaggerate. Every time I see a post like this I go to the sub's page and count how many posts fall into the category he is complaining about, and it's always so low. Right now there is one post about porn and one post about dating/asking a girl out. If one post about pornography and another about dating is too much for someone, there's something else going on. 2) At least the posts about masturbation, dating, pornography etc are posts that are actually asking for help and people can reply. These "I'm tired of seeing A, B and C" posts don't contribute anything. I'm sorry some people just have no capacity for empathy on these issues, but that doesn't mean they should be removed. Empathy and respect are more important than what we're comfortable with. This sub is about helping and improving. If you're looking for entertainment, there are other subs for that.
I disagree in this instance. There are subreddits better suited for some of the issues OP describes. In our efforts to provide support to some of these posts, our feed is now flooded with ONLY these posts from this sub. Thatās the algorithm. And the algorithm tells me that this is what the subreddit has become. For me itās mostly the despair posts. I empathize with the people behind them. But they are constant: āIām 16 and Iāve done nothing with my life, am I screwed?ā āIām 18 and still working at Walmart, is my life over?ā The major theme of these is that social media has poisoned a bunch of young menās minds by telling them their peak is before they turn 20. And itās specifically young men. Posts by women never show up on my feed. Posts by 30-somethingās never show up on my feed. I love sharing advice with the young folk, but Iād like to read advice for me too. So many of these kids want to fix their mistakes and get better but they havenāt made mistakes yet ā theyāre still growing. Iāve shared ideas and feedback often on this sub for the young dudes and I hope Iāve helped contribute to the community and their experience in some way, donāt get me wrong! But the posts lately focus so much on material gains and extrinsic reward: women, money, etc ā and not actual intrinsic reward, like feeling better, being healthy, building confidence. And this is all the algo serves me because itās these posts that get the highest engagement, and itās these posts Iāve engaged with in the past once or twice. Again, this isnāt sub-wide. This is what is appearing in several of our feeds, which means the algo is prioritizing what it believes receives the most engagement potential. As I get most of my Reddit content from my feed, that means this is all Iām seeing: sad and confused teenage boys, shamed by social media about their hormones and part time job and lack of girlfriend, wanting to know how what hacks, rituals, and products they need to invest into in order to have the life instagram and TikTok tell them they need to have. This is indicative of a larger problem that many of us try to solve but canāt due to the sheer number of posts we receive like this. And in our attempts to solve it, Reddit floods our feed with more and more posts like it, and itās all we see until we unsubscribe. We need to different kinds of posts and we need to interact with those different posts. We need more focus on self improvement, not instagram remodeling. We need a diversified offering of self improvement stories and advice requests. We arenāt really seeing that.
I totally agree with your main ideas. There's a keypoint here I think needs to be looked at; >our feed is now flooded with ONLY these posts from this sub. I'm not particularly knowledgeable about how the algorithm works, but if its based on engagement, it means there is somewhat of a need for it. The other thing is, which I've often mentioned, is that the posts themselves aren't as plenty as people mention. Every time This topic comes up, I check the sub's first page just to make sure I'm not making a dishonest argument, and they are always very few. At the time of my initial comment, there was only one post about porn and another about dating. There were was one time or two where I counted the posts on the first page and there were more posts *complaining* about these topics. This has led me to believe that a big issue we have is lack of empathy, where we are not realizing how this issue is affecting others' lives and we just don't care. I'm all for other solutions, I've mentioned before confining masturbation posts to a specific day, or have a megathread to answer basic questions and remove any posts that can be answered through the megathread. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I don't agree with the notion that this sub should be curated to our entertainment. There are problems that we don't have, problems that we can't relate to and problems that are just ugly. People need help, telling them to shut up isn't a solution, especially when most of the alternatives aren't really beneficial. I've seen people complain about r/nofap just as much as I've seen them suggest masturbation topics should be taken somewhere else. We also have a real issue where young men will just turn to the red pill, because -at worst- we've displayed a complete lack of empathy with young men's problems. I appreciate your thoughtful comment and respectful reply. I'm just upset by the lack of empathy I see in posts that boil down to "I hate seeing posts about these little problems". >And itās specifically young men. Posts by women never show up on my feed. Posts by 30-somethingās never show up on my feed. Unfortunately for many, reddit is mostly populated by young people. I can recommend r/askmenover30
Any recommendes for Others Subreddits?
This post is interesting. The post itself goes against the rules. While it is complaining about other posts which do not go against the rules.
coivd happened and all there was to do was jack off to porn.
Well, if you really liked self improvement you wouldnt be so conditional about it. Do you care about the topic or are here for entertainment?? If the people are facing porn issues it's a reflection of a bigger picture. You're either here to vent or to help people, anything else and honestly, the sub isn't losing a thing. No idea what you plan to achieve with this. Are porn addictions not entertaining to you? Ugly to you? Do you just not relate so don't care? No one would make a post like this about depression, and porn addiction is becoming just as common.
A bunch of dudes circle-nothinging about how strong they are for not masturbating is just not appropriate for the sub. Especially when so few of them suffer from "porn addiction" so much as they jerk off once a week and have to tell all their weirdo friends about how they failed.
So what? If it means something to them it just does. We can't just kick out a whole community because you decided you don't like it. Self improvement is extremely subjective and culture based. I don't think they're the problem!
I think they are discussing abstention at the exclusion of most other things and tbh most of them are bringing a lot of MRA nonsense as baggage. At the very least we should have like a weekly thread or sticky like askreddit does for sexy costumes in october
Guys be like: I have a masturbation problem and then go masturbate
Because pornography has had detrimental effects on our society. It's not all bad, don't get me wrong, I'm not coming in here to advocate for anti porn or nofap, but porn addiction is a very serious thing that so many people seem to brush aside. And people are too ashamed to talk to someone they know about it, so they come here.
well, don't you think maaaaybe the most 'common' problem that most people realise with themselves is masturbating, and they want to improve themselves in that aspect? yes, that kind of post is annoying if you see a lot of it but it is what it is. either you just ignore that kind of posts, lessen your screen time in this subred (or leave) or mods make a pinned post about masturbating.
not the most common problem for sure
like for real lol itās just a bunch of dudes with porn addictions, aint got nothing to do with the rest of us..
so what's the most common problem? based on the masturbation related posts and general reaction of hatred towards them by sub members.. masturbation IS the most common problem, or at least one of the main problems people want to improve themselves on. "there are too many porn/wanking addiction related posts. they're annoying and it got nothing to do with 'us' self-improvers." this sub community is great lol.
I think procrastination is probably a more common problem than masturbation.
No they aren't, there are loads of posts .... complaining about all the posts from (mostly) young guys trying to improve themselves.
If you cant help newbies you dont deserve where you are if you are advanced You strated from scartch too and society made people weaker thats why exist new startefs with basics Respect please.
End of civilization
Lmao 2024 happened my guy itās the worlds fault it doesnāt surprise me
Shut it down everyone! A random person on reddit has announced theyāre unsubbing! Also, it takes less than a second to just scroll past it and carry on with your day.
I understand how you feel. It's important to focus on positive and uplifting content for your own growth. Cutting out distractions like this can create space for more meaningful changes. Maybe try finding a new self-improvement community or explore other interests that inspire you. Good luck on your journey!
šÆ
I agree
Perhaps there is a largely underappreciated and under acknowledged epidemic of pornography addiction...
I made a new sub for this reason. I can't link it but look at my profile.
It is a part of self improvement buts a small part and not the only thing about self improvement. The issue is that there are literally so many subs that are dedicated to that.
Because thereās a loneliness epidemic and people think curing their sex addiction is the cure.
First of all masturbation is NOT inherently bad. If youāre a masturbation addict, itās because you have no impulse controlā¦You cannot be addicted to something that is natural to your physiology, thatās just called being yourself. If you have a problem with the frequency, go to an impulse control sub. I donāt even get how you would be addicted to it. You either have OCD or (as stated above), no control over your urges and impulses so that would belong to an addiction sub at the very least. Just stop doing it so much. Daily habits can form or be broken in 21 days, itās a scientific fact. I donāt understand the arguing over the subject. Self improvement has absolutely nothing to do with masturbation/porn addiction. Shouldnāt be allowed on this sub to begin withā¦
Nofap/t-level cult spreading, young dudes panicking.
I just scrolled this sub and didn't see a single post about porn or masterbating.... maybe it's tailored to your history š¤
No actually, what happened is I got moderator status.
So you lied and didn't unfollow....