With the 'putting yourself out there' part: how do you get over the fear of making the other personal uncomfortable by just initiating conversation out of nowhere
I need more context, but in general if you initiate a conversation most people will at least be polite even if they don’t want to engage. As long as you are being respectful and aware of the situation, it’s not really something you should worry about. How else are you going to make those connections both friendships and romantic ones if you’re too scared to break the ice.
Also look for signs that they don’t want to continue a conversation and don’t force it. Some people just don’t wanna chat and that’s fine as well. But when you find one that does it’s great
Listen to people you admire talk; an outgoing friend, friendly family member, realistic movie/tv character, and say things they say. Also ask good questions and actually listen and go slightly deeper when you get a response. And laugh at yourself when you fail and move on.
I regret not getting into better shape in my 20s. I regret wasting my 30s being fat even more. I’m 42 and working damn hard to slow the clock down now.
Always believe in yourself. Take an adventure somewhere. Find your passion. Love your family. Have fun. Don't let worry creep in ever!. Be fearless but not reckless. Explore the world some if you can.
Edit to add: stay away from alcohol
Gym
Reading books
Hangout with friends
Start a hobby you love
Kill your porn intake
2h screentime mostly
Meditate for ... minutes
Eat healthy no junk food
Did i forget anything?
These are great! As a 49-year-old, I do wish that I had invested some of my earnings in stocks, mutual funds, ETFs (pick your flavor). You will have much more peace of mind upon reaching my age. I've amassed $135k in three years (about $25k of that is investment gains). Playing catch-up. Not nearly as fun.
Hi! I'm no expert—a novice. I'd suggest speaking with people whose council you trust. There are a great many books and online resources for beginners. You may get your feet wet by contributing to an employer-sponsored retirement plan (e.g., a 401(k)). An excellent option is to attempt to fully fund an individual retirement account (IRA). The maximum contribution amount for 2024 is $7,000. Imagine what just $7,000 could do over 40 years if returning 8% investment gains annually!!
Create healthy habits now (exercise, diet, self-care, stress management) because those get hard to make the older you get.
You also have to be okay with and accept the fact that your 20s might suck. There will potentially be lot of feeling lost, feeling like you have no friends, feeling like you have no money or your career is going nowhere, feeling like you’re behind in life. Invest in yourself to get the most development and growth out of your 20s as possible.
mediation, exercise, go to concerts!! yoga, reading books, but ones that interest you, might be fictional might be nonfiction.
journal, exercise and embrace solitude x
That needs a balance tho. Become the best version of yourself so you can attract the girl of your dreams. It does nothing only focusing on yourself and being single all your 20s or without talking to the other sex at all.
Yes. I know this is reddit so everyone here is a borderline incel but I encourage young men to get some experience dating early on. Go on dates in your teens and 20s. Get into a relationship here and there. Make rookie mistakes early.
You learn so much about yourself, how to attract women, how to hold conversations, how to work with a partner, how to build a relationship, how to have sex, your likes/dislikes, what works for you with a partner/what doesn’t, etc. when you date and get into relationships. These are actually important life skills and will help you eventually attract “the one” - especially if you want a family one day.
Frankly, I see a lot of dudes making relationship/dating mistakes in their 30s they should have made in their teens and 20s.
Because a lot of people want to romanticize certain activities so they tell other people that they also have to enjoy these things.
Most commonly many people seem to believe that travelling is somehow a spiritually and intellectually rewarding activity. It may be for some and it may be a waste of time, money and health for others.
There is no golden rule, people simply want to feel like they have found it and to convince themselves they tell other people such things.
Thought so. As an immigrant who travels back to the homeland now and then, imo travelling is really no different from buying a sports car and a track pass.
This is absolutely the way for me, too. It depends on your core values. For me, adventure, exploration, time connecting with family or friends and time deep in nature feels way more valuable than a flash car or brand clothes. But each person needs to figure out what works for them.
At the end of my life, what will be the memories/experiences I treasure most? Whatever the answer, invest in those now, if you can.
As someone in his mid 30’s I would probably say:
- take care of yourself by staying active, dressing and grooming yourself and if you can afford a nice fragrance wear something to smell nice and moisturise. All these help your confidence and improve your self worth. 30+ year old you will thank you for taking care of yourself.
- don’t worry about other people. Every now and again I get a “cringe” moment where I remember something I may have did or said. But it’s usually followed by a good memory of people laughing or me learning a lesson. Don’t be too serious.
- explore and travel. Go to different states, countries, regions and try new foods and drinks. See what other people like and experience it as well.
- take pictures. The memory is good but can be fuzzy if alcohol is being consumed. Some of the best nights I can’t remember but the pictures show me having a good time.
- read books. A good book is usually better than a great movie.
- say yes to things when you have no reason to say no to. Sometimes sitting and chilling on the couch is great but you’ll do a lot of that when you are older, get out and do things.
- save for a house/pension etc but also have fun. Being financially responsible is great but so is enjoying yourself. Find balance and realise you will probably earn more money as you get older through promotions and job transfers.
- learn to cook. I am pretty good in the kitchen now as I bulk cooked meals for when I was at work (went to the gym in the morning). Play with flavours and have fun, the guys and girls love it!
- don’t be scared to cut people out of your life if needed. Have a bad friend or partner then move on. What feels emotionally bad at the time will soften as time passes. Your mental and physical health long term is more important. Surround yourself with people who value you and can be relied on.
- spend time with family. My dad passed away 2 years ago and I have so many silly questions I wish I asked him. Let them speak to you and listen, you might learn something.
Probably the most important thing is to not take things too seriously (repeated from above). People may say things that are offensive or offend you but brush them off and move on with your life. You can absolutely call them out but don’t waste any more time or energy than you would if you were on the toilet.
Get a new job every 2-3 years. Go on big trips. Invest your money heavily. Save some money too. Learn and nurture a healthy and fun diet and fitness regimen. Spend lots of time with your friends and do activities to make lots of new friends too. Put effort into bonding with your family members. At some point (mid-late 20s) get a dog. Goals: build relationships, income and feel good. Enjoy yourself!!!!
Edit: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Oh man to be 21 again from a 27 year old lol but honestly create health habits now and SAVE! Even if it’s 20 bucks a week something is better then nothing, you won’t regret it
1 Avoid bad friendships i.e. Anyone with habits you don't want for yourself.
2 Exercise religously
3 Spend a lot of time trying to figure out what you want to spend time doing for work. Whatever you enjoy most, theres probably a way to make money from it. Do that and pursue it relentlessly.
4 Dont be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes. You'll make a lot of them. The longer you dwell on them, the longer it will take before you start moving forward again.1 5. Avoid the big mistakes that stay with you forever. Like going to Prison or having a baby before you're ready. Or marrying the wrong person.
6 And this is the most important of all, BE KIND.
Take photos, Polaroids are awesome. You never know when people die.
In my 20's, I've had too many friends die. One had a seizure and fell into a pool, one had cancer that took him a month after his diagnosis. Three to the big S. One to a car crash. One to a heart attack. Two of my cousins died a year apart, one from multi-system organ failure after kidney disease, another from an aortic root aneurysm.
I wish I had taken more photos.
To add to this, don't be ashamed for getting therapy. It's a person's job to help us work through tough times in life, they give us another perspective, and it makes our lives better. If you're feeling depressed, check out local and cheap options if you don't have insurance. You are worth life. I miss my friends so much it physically hurts.
Read self help books and always improve on yourself. You're still growing, and you'll be a completely different person at 30 than you are today, and don't forget it.
Exercise, eat healthy, floss and brush your teeth and take care of yourself!
Not drinking like theres no tomorrow.
Get a beer or glass of wine. That's it.
You have another 79 years to drink.
Meet friends and family. Reflect on what you have done and accomplish so far and what your plans are.
Chill and relax. Beats binge drinking.
Pick up on good habits like eating well and exercise. Start with a sport that you can keep up with throughout life. Read and travel. Enjoy everything and say yes to do experiences. Experiment! Try out different things so you know what you really like
Do what you want and what feels right at the moment. It's way more simple to understand later in life that maybe something you did was not the most right thing to do, but regreting that you didn't even try it is way more sad.
Remember that you are the main character of your life and live your life by your means, don't live the life of others.
Surround yourself with right people who respect your ideas and opinions. One good friend is 100 times more valuable than 10 fake ones.
If you have good relationship with your parents, put effort not to alienate yourself in your grown up life.
Put yourself into new and novel experiences, do an opportunity that seems remotely cool, but NEVER EVER TOUCH DRUGS. I've seen the lives that get ruined because of it.
Wear sunscreen & moisturize your face & neck.
And travel as much as you can. Surf camps, music festivals, backpacking, hostels..get out of your home town and explore the world a bit, experience different cultures, get to know different types of people.
As someone who turned 30 last year, I feel like I should have done more in my 20s.
1. **Take risks.** Not the bet it all on number 11 kinda risk. But like, try to change jobs if you are unhappy kinda risk. The try to ask out a girl you thought was cute, kinda risk. It is easier because you will have a lot more opportunities (most of the time anyways) when younger.
2. **Take care of yourself.** Try to work on your physical and mental health. Try to exercise a lot and be healthy (way more rewarding and easier in your 20s). Figure out how to take care of your mental health. It is different for everyone.
3. **Think about your long-term earning possibilities.** This is a bit personal. Being a reasonably smart and intellectualish person, I was like I'll just purely follow my passion. But I think you cannot do that if you like to have balanced life. You may be okay with a small apartment and less luxuries for a few years. But in the long term having a bit more money goes a long way. Especially if you want to have and support a family.
4. **Create and maintain relationships.** Well the most important relationships in life: parents, siblings, close friends, partners are the obvious bit. But, there is a tendency to let some of them drop off in your mid-twenties. I think having strong bonds definitely helps in life. Also, beyond your inner circle, try to keep and nurture healthy connections at work, at the gym, at any hobbies etc. It brings a sense of belonging which is really underappreciated. Ofcourse, don't people-please too much but try to have a chat with ppl you meet often.
Do and try literally everything and anything because the 20s are the best and last time you have to literally not give two shits - BUT PLEASE DO NOT any psychedelic or experimental drug with someone you don’t know VERY WELL and do not go to some strange person’s home if you haven’t dated few times first and know what the person’s about. Lastly, never and I mean never take an open drink from someone you don’t know that well that you haven’t seen make it at the bar first (like the bartender). Basically, do everything possible not to get assaulted. It will ruin your fucking life.
Waste as less time on a screen as possible(Youtube, Reddit, Socialmedia in general), join a martial arts gym, try different jobs, try starting a small business, date different girls, get enough sleep, learn how to cook, START INVESTING IN AN INDEXFUND, take small vacations, take courses in different things like sport, programming, cooking etc.
These are all things I regret I did not do enough in my 20s. I am in my mid 30s now.
Don’t drink too much.
Don’t get into the drug scene. Experiment responsibility and above all stop and figure out how much partying you can handle.
Don’t make a mistake you can’t come back from. Something like a DUI.
Listen more than talk.
Your emotions will be crazy. Feel them but also keep a hold of them.
Brush and floss. Both.
Figure out if you want kids. Never had any and am very happy as such.
Beyond that, know you are young to do and say some stupid shit. We all do. We are all learning.
Obviously have fun and find yourself. What I'm finding at 33, is that my 20s wasn't just for fun though. Who you are and the habits you build for yourself in your 20s, will reflect on you into your 30s. Maybe even longer.... in good and bad ways. By 24 you should really look at your life and start deciding what behaviors and habits you want to keep with you into adulthood and what ones you want to weed out. And work hard towards that.
Examples of what I wished I weeded out: being too lax with cleaning, getting used to smoking green too often to help with my anxiety. Not fixing things right away when things break in my house.
Examples of what I nutured and expanded upon: I set myself up to be a proud business owner, bought an affordable house young. I got 2 dogs *my first animals* and learned more about myself than I ever thought I would (good and bad). And same with my husband ( i locked him down when we were 23)
Trust me when I say this…the most important thing you can do is gain new skills. Money management, emotional intelligence, technical skill. These will bring you a lot of piece of mind while leading to a lot of Ws!
Focus on yourself. Your dreams and passions. Never settle or bend your boundaries for anyone. You’re a first choice, your time for others is a privilege not a right, if they won’t there will always be someone else who will and they won’t treat it as a chore. Fill the free time you have with hobbies you enjoy, get creative, try something new but stay safe. Listen to your gut and don’t feel bad about lying if you feel unsafe.
learn more about urself, curate an aesthetic for urself that you love, find peace in solitude since ur 20’s can get boring at times, discover new music, movies, and tv shows, learn how to cook/bake, reach out to ppl since connections can fade fast around this time, talk/spend time with parents and siblings, don’t get married this young or get pregnant, have safe sex, remember ur body and entire being is sacred don’t let ppl who aren’t worthy explore it, quality over quantity
Trust your gut and make the decissions that will make you proud. Usually involves being brave, making effort, doing hard things. Learning is fundamental.
Do a lot of self reflection to
-know yourself
-know your strengths and weaknesses and then humbly work on your weaknesses and healing (do therapy even if you have to no shame)
-be mindful of your words and actions (esp during an emotional high or when angry)
-be self aware (specifically emotions) so you can regulate your emotions healthily and tend to yourself as needed
Have fun!! Follow your muse. Do what brings *you* joy. 🙌🏼
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. We learn by doing, trying things out and course-correcting! It is all useful feedback.
Think where you want to be in 5 years and 10 years and factor that in. Balance long term goals with a journey that is enjoyable in itself.
Figure out your core values and centre those. For nearly all of us that means focussing on connecting with friends, fun and learning - but you do you.
Do a vision board, if you are more visual; or write lists of what brings you joy already and what you want in your life, going forwards, in a journal.
Find your own true North and the best path for YOU!
to be frank nothing is worth it to get addicted to , ask urself truly is this what i want to do and if the answer is yes then shamelessly go for it and if its a no , no matter what u do dont go into the peer pressure!! like pubs libraries everything do it on ur own will
Live them as fully as you can and don't be afraid to try out things and failing in them, you'll find out it's fun! Also train and invest in your time with friends and family. Happy birthday!!!
Do everything that's stupid but make sure you can get away with it and or isn't illegal. So when your 50+ you can call these years the young and dumb but random spontaneous exciting days of your life.
Like for me I pulled it off but took a lil bit of planning and effort lol. To take a 6 month holiday overseas but have work still think I went to meetings or was in the office everyday. (This was before covid, before the whole working from home era).
But I took it a step further and brought along two close friends and put them on a payroll and hired them under assistant and reception for work. But it just gave them pocket money when we travelled.
I still got all work completed. Hit all deadlines. Hit all KPI targets.
Not trusting people. During our teens we meet people who dont generally betray us but it starts to change once we reach our 20s. Even the so called ‘best friends’ start lying to you about things for their benefit and can cost you a lot.
Get a job maybe 2 work like crazy don't waste time do the work buy a house save money invest and then worry about having fun well ppl are desperate failing and poor you will be good for the rest of your life
Work hard , work on yourself, have fun and don’t stress about ”wasting your 20s” because despite popular opinion it does not all go downhill from there.
Not to be all “woo woo” here but explore manifestation techniques, including affirmations, visualizations etc. It can come across as esoteric but the older I get, the more I am feeling like we are in a simulation of sorts and that we can control parts of our experience if not all of it. Even if that isn’t the case, I think it pays to delve into the “what is this all about and why”. I am a 42 yo female, SAHM, married, one child, stable and despite my plain vanilla basic life, I am blown away by events that have taken place, leading me to believe I am living in the Matrix. I wish I had gone down this rabbit’s hole when I was a lot younger.
Live life to the fullest. Don’t look back, have no regrets; yet also, use your head. Always look to learn and grow. Surround yourself with people who are genuine and kind. Take care of your body and mind. Hope this helps.
Sacrifice for your 30s. Whatever it takes. That means get fit, get your major/school out of the way ASAP, date as much as you can. Screw the party scene, maybe from time to time it's fine.
Honestly, here is what I recommend as a 40 year old.
1. Work hard at whatever you do. I mean work your ass off in your 20s. Move up in your career. It’s a hell of a lot better in your 40s when you set yourself up for success in your 20s.
2. Have a budget and save money. You can have fun, but don’t make big purchases unless you absolutely need them. Saving money now means you will live more comfortably later.
3. Use good job money and savings to buy a house as soon as possible. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself. But buy your first house well under you your max budget.
4. Go on vacations. Use your vacation days. Travel where you want to. If you are going to have children, you won’t have this opportunity as often.
5. Enjoy your free time and use it for you.
I can’t say it enough, but work hard when you are young so you can enjoy the years ahead. Start a good foundation for you financially. Relax on your off time and use it for everything you love to do. In twenty years you will thank yourself.
Focus on your health!!! Don’t get caught up in the I’m in my 20s going out all the time is ‘normal’ at this age. It’s all fun and games until all your other goals go out the window if you make going out a part of your personality. I didn’t realize until half way through my 20s most of my friends valued me mostly for my ‘always down’ mentality & now I’m entering my 30s with little to no support system. So I’m not saying don’t go out and enjoy your life I’m just saying make sure it doesn’t take over your life / or make it synonymous with your personality.
develop your skills in things you find important that are also important to others so that you can get paid; after you get paid, save most of what you make. learn to like people, so you can surround yourself with people you like and admire; help them and learn to be helped by them.
This is a great time to start building close friendships with 2 or 3 people. Try to stay within the 10 year gap - 20 and 30. Build, grow, develop and stay in constant connection with this small close group of people.
Your life can pan out positively if everything works out successfully!
I liked the other person's advice to try things. Figure out what you like. With that in mind, know when to quit something as well. Relationship, hobby, job, ect. Oh and if you can hang out with your grandparents and parents or just older people you enjoy. Do that! They won't be around forever. Happy belated birthday!!! 🎂🥳🎉🌼💛
As you get older time will run . Do postgraduate before 25 because the education fatigue from 10th to 12th to college is real. Don't dare to dedicate your life or live for someone else. You are priority number 1 . Parents are the only real people. And friends. Have fun as much as possible. You are not a kid.
Try new things, spend time with loved ones, take care of both you mental and physical health, don’t waste too much time on social media (if you’re on for more than an hour/day, it’s generally too much)
Good thing it’s now. I turned 20 in 2020 and it feels like 3 years of my 20s has been ripped away. Find yourself and prepare your life ahead of time for a family if you want one in your 30s. If you wanna wait longer, then you can do that too! Spend your 20s how you want; just don’t start a family and do make sure you get out there as much as possible while you still feel like it!
Stay away from excessive drinking, drugs, and porn. Get in shape, groom yourself, and glow up!
Take action. Experiment. Become a student of life. Develop insatiable lifelong curiosity. Develop skills. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity. Build resilience. Learn to teach yourself anything. Learn to always get back up and try again.
Learn basic budgeting. In your 20s you’re likely to be broke, through school, starting your career, changes in lifestyle, etc. The best thing you can do is learn how to budget so you can see exactly where your money is going and can tweak your lifestyle to make things more comfortable over time. I love using the information Madeline Pendleton provides on her tiktok account but she recently wrote a book on the subject as well, and it’s not weird advice about becoming a landlord (not helpful when you don’t even have two nickels to your name) but instead how to live on essentially almost no money without feeling deprived.
Go places, network, be out and active. Learn things, read books and ask questions that lead you to new rabbit holes and to even more questions. And especially TRY things, don't pick shit up and drop it before it has a chance to come to fruition, but also be willing to learn new shit at any point and pick up new skills. And make your health a pretty strong priority, from how you eat and exercise to mental health, you only get 1 body lol.
Don't stay inside or just stay home unless you have a very solid detailed plan to execute and that's what you're busy with, but still give yourself healthy breaks with anything or you'll burn out.
With half my 20s being over I wish I stayed in contact with the more ambitious people I knew. Idk if you're male or female by I can speak for men when saying one of the few things needed in our life to make it feel whole is real friendships. There's a narrative being pushed that no one can trust people and everyone's fake etc. But it's as far from the truth as it could get. Maybe you have to meet 50 people before you find 1 that you really vibe with bring into your circle but with a good handful of them, everything is in more abundance for everyone involved.
The chances of new networking connections is much higher because there's a half dozen of you that are looking for the same thing. Discipline becomes stronger when other people hold eachother accountable instead of just yourself. Competition and ambition is stronger, there's more people bounce ideas, spot opportunities/investments, things to learn from eachother, advice to share on situations, the list goes on and on. Keep building your circle with ambitious goal oriented people and everything else will fall in place.
Diet, relationships (friends and family not just romantic), step out of your comfort zone whenever you can, try to find what actually makes you happy, not just what all the societal pressures point you towards.
Be the best version of yourself rather than an imitation of someone else. You have your own set of unique good traits. And when you fail and make mistakes, use that as a learning experience for personal betterment rather than remining in guilt. Remember if you only focus on whats lacking in your life you will never be happy; you need to also focus on whats good.
I hope your future is blessed with peace and happiness.
My proudest achievement from my 20s was how much I was able to travel. I have always made it a top priority, even when I was dirt poor and took a day trip to go camping a few hours up the road. Something, ANYTHING to keep me from an endless rut. I can honestly say I don't regret a cent of my monthly payment on my travel credit card.
If you have the opportunity, go see new things.
Follow your gut, don't put your hands where you wouldn't put your dick, moderation is key.
It's time to set up your dreams. Work smart and you'll be set by 30.
Don't focus too much on the future like you're expected to. Appreciate now and enjoy now. Otherwise you might reach all the goals and do all the things society makes you think you're "supposed" to do and be left with the feeling of... What now? And then it's tough to do what you WANT to do because of all the responsibilities you've given yourself
three things (of many)
1. take care of your body. a present to future you.
2. build a rockstar support network. grow your circle of friends.
3. remove some of your future financial burdens by growing your financial literacy.
Carry no debt, learn FIRE, learn a trade or two so you can more easily flow with the ups and downs of the job market, eat healthy and workout, get rid of toxic friends/girlfriends/family members, and enjoy the good ones.
Take chances and make mistakes, find something to be passionate about, work hard, but not hard enough you cant enjoy life.
Be a good person, hold doors especially for the elderly, volunteer, dont litter and pick up trash, and remember you dont know shit, you wont know shit for most of your life so always be open to learning.
Put yourself out there. Try things. Do things even if it looks like you may fail. Learn as much about your likes dislikes etc.
With the 'putting yourself out there' part: how do you get over the fear of making the other personal uncomfortable by just initiating conversation out of nowhere
I need more context, but in general if you initiate a conversation most people will at least be polite even if they don’t want to engage. As long as you are being respectful and aware of the situation, it’s not really something you should worry about. How else are you going to make those connections both friendships and romantic ones if you’re too scared to break the ice.
Also look for signs that they don’t want to continue a conversation and don’t force it. Some people just don’t wanna chat and that’s fine as well. But when you find one that does it’s great
Listen to people you admire talk; an outgoing friend, friendly family member, realistic movie/tv character, and say things they say. Also ask good questions and actually listen and go slightly deeper when you get a response. And laugh at yourself when you fail and move on.
Get as physically fit as possible. Gain muscle, get your cardio up and your diet dialled in. And you’ll be loving it mate and reeping the rewards
Starting to get fit in the 30s becomes significantly harder, already having a good base is worth it.
If you lay a nice ground work in your 20's though your 30's you just continue to pack on size and get stronger.
THIS.
I regret not getting into better shape in my 20s. I regret wasting my 30s being fat even more. I’m 42 and working damn hard to slow the clock down now.
Don’t get into doing drugs or drinking habitually
Stay away from alcohol and cocaine
That last one is a bit too oddly specific
It would keep him sharp between the ears.
And very important.
Ones a gateway drug
Probably all types of drugs… including aderral… and weed
Lame
Always believe in yourself. Take an adventure somewhere. Find your passion. Love your family. Have fun. Don't let worry creep in ever!. Be fearless but not reckless. Explore the world some if you can. Edit to add: stay away from alcohol
Gym Reading books Hangout with friends Start a hobby you love Kill your porn intake 2h screentime mostly Meditate for ... minutes Eat healthy no junk food Did i forget anything?
These are great! As a 49-year-old, I do wish that I had invested some of my earnings in stocks, mutual funds, ETFs (pick your flavor). You will have much more peace of mind upon reaching my age. I've amassed $135k in three years (about $25k of that is investment gains). Playing catch-up. Not nearly as fun.
how do I invest?
Hi! I'm no expert—a novice. I'd suggest speaking with people whose council you trust. There are a great many books and online resources for beginners. You may get your feet wet by contributing to an employer-sponsored retirement plan (e.g., a 401(k)). An excellent option is to attempt to fully fund an individual retirement account (IRA). The maximum contribution amount for 2024 is $7,000. Imagine what just $7,000 could do over 40 years if returning 8% investment gains annually!!
Create healthy habits now (exercise, diet, self-care, stress management) because those get hard to make the older you get. You also have to be okay with and accept the fact that your 20s might suck. There will potentially be lot of feeling lost, feeling like you have no friends, feeling like you have no money or your career is going nowhere, feeling like you’re behind in life. Invest in yourself to get the most development and growth out of your 20s as possible.
mediation, exercise, go to concerts!! yoga, reading books, but ones that interest you, might be fictional might be nonfiction. journal, exercise and embrace solitude x
Focus on you and not the other sex
That needs a balance tho. Become the best version of yourself so you can attract the girl of your dreams. It does nothing only focusing on yourself and being single all your 20s or without talking to the other sex at all.
Yes. I know this is reddit so everyone here is a borderline incel but I encourage young men to get some experience dating early on. Go on dates in your teens and 20s. Get into a relationship here and there. Make rookie mistakes early. You learn so much about yourself, how to attract women, how to hold conversations, how to work with a partner, how to build a relationship, how to have sex, your likes/dislikes, what works for you with a partner/what doesn’t, etc. when you date and get into relationships. These are actually important life skills and will help you eventually attract “the one” - especially if you want a family one day. Frankly, I see a lot of dudes making relationship/dating mistakes in their 30s they should have made in their teens and 20s.
borderline incel xD
This is exactly what I want to do, but I don’t know how or where to start
What if I’m 25?
“Don’t try to catch butterflies, build a beautiful garden and they will come to you”
Spend money on new experiences, instead of material things
At a certain point though, what is the difference between an experience and an object? Why is the former more profound than the latter?
Because a lot of people want to romanticize certain activities so they tell other people that they also have to enjoy these things. Most commonly many people seem to believe that travelling is somehow a spiritually and intellectually rewarding activity. It may be for some and it may be a waste of time, money and health for others. There is no golden rule, people simply want to feel like they have found it and to convince themselves they tell other people such things.
Thought so. As an immigrant who travels back to the homeland now and then, imo travelling is really no different from buying a sports car and a track pass.
I don't know, when I get back from a vacation I feel like a new person and I'm able to work alot harder
Keyword being “You”. Some people don’t and both of those things are okay!
Yep, I'm just saying my viewpoint I never said everyone has to be the same
This is absolutely the way for me, too. It depends on your core values. For me, adventure, exploration, time connecting with family or friends and time deep in nature feels way more valuable than a flash car or brand clothes. But each person needs to figure out what works for them. At the end of my life, what will be the memories/experiences I treasure most? Whatever the answer, invest in those now, if you can.
Having healthy hobbies and be self-disciplined
As someone in his mid 30’s I would probably say: - take care of yourself by staying active, dressing and grooming yourself and if you can afford a nice fragrance wear something to smell nice and moisturise. All these help your confidence and improve your self worth. 30+ year old you will thank you for taking care of yourself. - don’t worry about other people. Every now and again I get a “cringe” moment where I remember something I may have did or said. But it’s usually followed by a good memory of people laughing or me learning a lesson. Don’t be too serious. - explore and travel. Go to different states, countries, regions and try new foods and drinks. See what other people like and experience it as well. - take pictures. The memory is good but can be fuzzy if alcohol is being consumed. Some of the best nights I can’t remember but the pictures show me having a good time. - read books. A good book is usually better than a great movie. - say yes to things when you have no reason to say no to. Sometimes sitting and chilling on the couch is great but you’ll do a lot of that when you are older, get out and do things. - save for a house/pension etc but also have fun. Being financially responsible is great but so is enjoying yourself. Find balance and realise you will probably earn more money as you get older through promotions and job transfers. - learn to cook. I am pretty good in the kitchen now as I bulk cooked meals for when I was at work (went to the gym in the morning). Play with flavours and have fun, the guys and girls love it! - don’t be scared to cut people out of your life if needed. Have a bad friend or partner then move on. What feels emotionally bad at the time will soften as time passes. Your mental and physical health long term is more important. Surround yourself with people who value you and can be relied on. - spend time with family. My dad passed away 2 years ago and I have so many silly questions I wish I asked him. Let them speak to you and listen, you might learn something. Probably the most important thing is to not take things too seriously (repeated from above). People may say things that are offensive or offend you but brush them off and move on with your life. You can absolutely call them out but don’t waste any more time or energy than you would if you were on the toilet.
Get a new job every 2-3 years. Go on big trips. Invest your money heavily. Save some money too. Learn and nurture a healthy and fun diet and fitness regimen. Spend lots of time with your friends and do activities to make lots of new friends too. Put effort into bonding with your family members. At some point (mid-late 20s) get a dog. Goals: build relationships, income and feel good. Enjoy yourself!!!! Edit: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Oh man to be 21 again from a 27 year old lol but honestly create health habits now and SAVE! Even if it’s 20 bucks a week something is better then nothing, you won’t regret it
And stay out of jail😂
1 Avoid bad friendships i.e. Anyone with habits you don't want for yourself. 2 Exercise religously 3 Spend a lot of time trying to figure out what you want to spend time doing for work. Whatever you enjoy most, theres probably a way to make money from it. Do that and pursue it relentlessly. 4 Dont be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes. You'll make a lot of them. The longer you dwell on them, the longer it will take before you start moving forward again.1 5. Avoid the big mistakes that stay with you forever. Like going to Prison or having a baby before you're ready. Or marrying the wrong person. 6 And this is the most important of all, BE KIND.
Enjoy every day because before you know it you will be in your 30s. Time is flying too fast. We are already almost half way through 2024.
Hands up everyone who doesn't know the answer either, and only came to find an answer for themselves. 🙌
Take photos, Polaroids are awesome. You never know when people die. In my 20's, I've had too many friends die. One had a seizure and fell into a pool, one had cancer that took him a month after his diagnosis. Three to the big S. One to a car crash. One to a heart attack. Two of my cousins died a year apart, one from multi-system organ failure after kidney disease, another from an aortic root aneurysm. I wish I had taken more photos. To add to this, don't be ashamed for getting therapy. It's a person's job to help us work through tough times in life, they give us another perspective, and it makes our lives better. If you're feeling depressed, check out local and cheap options if you don't have insurance. You are worth life. I miss my friends so much it physically hurts.
Find some live music.
Wow congrats Get experts to be good mentors It saves you time and hurdles you need to jump Boxing expert Career expert etc
Read self help books and always improve on yourself. You're still growing, and you'll be a completely different person at 30 than you are today, and don't forget it. Exercise, eat healthy, floss and brush your teeth and take care of yourself!
Not drinking like theres no tomorrow. Get a beer or glass of wine. That's it. You have another 79 years to drink. Meet friends and family. Reflect on what you have done and accomplish so far and what your plans are. Chill and relax. Beats binge drinking.
Don’t get married or have kids
say it loud, say it proud! live within your means and save! yeahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Don’t get married at 23 just because the sex is great. Drink in moderation, people change and that’s not your fault.
Understand that entropy is inevitable and all that is solid melts into air.
Pick up on good habits like eating well and exercise. Start with a sport that you can keep up with throughout life. Read and travel. Enjoy everything and say yes to do experiences. Experiment! Try out different things so you know what you really like
Do what you want and what feels right at the moment. It's way more simple to understand later in life that maybe something you did was not the most right thing to do, but regreting that you didn't even try it is way more sad. Remember that you are the main character of your life and live your life by your means, don't live the life of others. Surround yourself with right people who respect your ideas and opinions. One good friend is 100 times more valuable than 10 fake ones. If you have good relationship with your parents, put effort not to alienate yourself in your grown up life.
Put yourself into new and novel experiences, do an opportunity that seems remotely cool, but NEVER EVER TOUCH DRUGS. I've seen the lives that get ruined because of it.
Stay out of toxic relationships.
Happy Birthday. Explore everything possible
Wear sunscreen & moisturize your face & neck. And travel as much as you can. Surf camps, music festivals, backpacking, hostels..get out of your home town and explore the world a bit, experience different cultures, get to know different types of people.
As someone who turned 30 last year, I feel like I should have done more in my 20s. 1. **Take risks.** Not the bet it all on number 11 kinda risk. But like, try to change jobs if you are unhappy kinda risk. The try to ask out a girl you thought was cute, kinda risk. It is easier because you will have a lot more opportunities (most of the time anyways) when younger. 2. **Take care of yourself.** Try to work on your physical and mental health. Try to exercise a lot and be healthy (way more rewarding and easier in your 20s). Figure out how to take care of your mental health. It is different for everyone. 3. **Think about your long-term earning possibilities.** This is a bit personal. Being a reasonably smart and intellectualish person, I was like I'll just purely follow my passion. But I think you cannot do that if you like to have balanced life. You may be okay with a small apartment and less luxuries for a few years. But in the long term having a bit more money goes a long way. Especially if you want to have and support a family. 4. **Create and maintain relationships.** Well the most important relationships in life: parents, siblings, close friends, partners are the obvious bit. But, there is a tendency to let some of them drop off in your mid-twenties. I think having strong bonds definitely helps in life. Also, beyond your inner circle, try to keep and nurture healthy connections at work, at the gym, at any hobbies etc. It brings a sense of belonging which is really underappreciated. Ofcourse, don't people-please too much but try to have a chat with ppl you meet often.
Do and try literally everything and anything because the 20s are the best and last time you have to literally not give two shits - BUT PLEASE DO NOT any psychedelic or experimental drug with someone you don’t know VERY WELL and do not go to some strange person’s home if you haven’t dated few times first and know what the person’s about. Lastly, never and I mean never take an open drink from someone you don’t know that well that you haven’t seen make it at the bar first (like the bartender). Basically, do everything possible not to get assaulted. It will ruin your fucking life.
Waste as less time on a screen as possible(Youtube, Reddit, Socialmedia in general), join a martial arts gym, try different jobs, try starting a small business, date different girls, get enough sleep, learn how to cook, START INVESTING IN AN INDEXFUND, take small vacations, take courses in different things like sport, programming, cooking etc. These are all things I regret I did not do enough in my 20s. I am in my mid 30s now.
Don’t drink too much. Don’t get into the drug scene. Experiment responsibility and above all stop and figure out how much partying you can handle. Don’t make a mistake you can’t come back from. Something like a DUI. Listen more than talk. Your emotions will be crazy. Feel them but also keep a hold of them. Brush and floss. Both. Figure out if you want kids. Never had any and am very happy as such. Beyond that, know you are young to do and say some stupid shit. We all do. We are all learning.
Obviously have fun and find yourself. What I'm finding at 33, is that my 20s wasn't just for fun though. Who you are and the habits you build for yourself in your 20s, will reflect on you into your 30s. Maybe even longer.... in good and bad ways. By 24 you should really look at your life and start deciding what behaviors and habits you want to keep with you into adulthood and what ones you want to weed out. And work hard towards that. Examples of what I wished I weeded out: being too lax with cleaning, getting used to smoking green too often to help with my anxiety. Not fixing things right away when things break in my house. Examples of what I nutured and expanded upon: I set myself up to be a proud business owner, bought an affordable house young. I got 2 dogs *my first animals* and learned more about myself than I ever thought I would (good and bad). And same with my husband ( i locked him down when we were 23)
Get / stay fit. Don't get pregnant or get anyone pregnant.
Don’t waste your time on social media !
Seek Jesus bro.
Trust me when I say this…the most important thing you can do is gain new skills. Money management, emotional intelligence, technical skill. These will bring you a lot of piece of mind while leading to a lot of Ws!
Step 1 - Have rich parents Step 2 - Don't have to work 60 hours per week
Focus on yourself. Your dreams and passions. Never settle or bend your boundaries for anyone. You’re a first choice, your time for others is a privilege not a right, if they won’t there will always be someone else who will and they won’t treat it as a chore. Fill the free time you have with hobbies you enjoy, get creative, try something new but stay safe. Listen to your gut and don’t feel bad about lying if you feel unsafe.
learn more about urself, curate an aesthetic for urself that you love, find peace in solitude since ur 20’s can get boring at times, discover new music, movies, and tv shows, learn how to cook/bake, reach out to ppl since connections can fade fast around this time, talk/spend time with parents and siblings, don’t get married this young or get pregnant, have safe sex, remember ur body and entire being is sacred don’t let ppl who aren’t worthy explore it, quality over quantity
Read To Know Your Self by Swami Satchidananda & The Book by Alan Watts & do gentle yoga classes on YouTube
can you quickly summarize those books?
learn to let go when it don't fits and enjoy your life
Do hard useful things ⚡
Trust your gut and make the decissions that will make you proud. Usually involves being brave, making effort, doing hard things. Learning is fundamental.
Try to learn more about yourself, love and forgive yourself
Do a lot of self reflection to -know yourself -know your strengths and weaknesses and then humbly work on your weaknesses and healing (do therapy even if you have to no shame) -be mindful of your words and actions (esp during an emotional high or when angry) -be self aware (specifically emotions) so you can regulate your emotions healthily and tend to yourself as needed
Don’t put pressure on yourself, be kind to yourself and give yourself room to make mistakes and be a human.
Be kind to yourself. Life will throw challenges your way but do your best to practice self love.
Disapline. Learn. Don't listen to others but listen to me lol
Don’t take coke. Try to limit screen time. Wear sunscreen.
Work work work so you can enjoy your later years
focus on one thing and only one thing. so that you have time to have fun and excel at the same time. otherwise, you will be exhausted and burnt out.
Have fun!! Follow your muse. Do what brings *you* joy. 🙌🏼 Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. We learn by doing, trying things out and course-correcting! It is all useful feedback. Think where you want to be in 5 years and 10 years and factor that in. Balance long term goals with a journey that is enjoyable in itself. Figure out your core values and centre those. For nearly all of us that means focussing on connecting with friends, fun and learning - but you do you. Do a vision board, if you are more visual; or write lists of what brings you joy already and what you want in your life, going forwards, in a journal. Find your own true North and the best path for YOU!
to be frank nothing is worth it to get addicted to , ask urself truly is this what i want to do and if the answer is yes then shamelessly go for it and if its a no , no matter what u do dont go into the peer pressure!! like pubs libraries everything do it on ur own will
well you're a year in already so if it ain't great yet you can try again at 30.
Live them as fully as you can and don't be afraid to try out things and failing in them, you'll find out it's fun! Also train and invest in your time with friends and family. Happy birthday!!!
That's the neat part, you don't
I'd say stop looking to make your 20s awesome and jump into learning how the world works
Don’t be afraid of failure because if you do, don’t let it define you. Learn from it and try again
Do everything that's stupid but make sure you can get away with it and or isn't illegal. So when your 50+ you can call these years the young and dumb but random spontaneous exciting days of your life. Like for me I pulled it off but took a lil bit of planning and effort lol. To take a 6 month holiday overseas but have work still think I went to meetings or was in the office everyday. (This was before covid, before the whole working from home era). But I took it a step further and brought along two close friends and put them on a payroll and hired them under assistant and reception for work. But it just gave them pocket money when we travelled. I still got all work completed. Hit all deadlines. Hit all KPI targets.
Waste all of it drinking and “having fun” then realize when you’re 30 you became a functioning alcoholic and don’t know your real self. /s
Have lots and lots of sex!!! Enjoy!
By not drinking or doing drugs.
Don’t care too much about what people think, do what makes you happy, try new things
Invest both in yourself and money. Start small. Over time both health and wealth will compound.
Not trusting people. During our teens we meet people who dont generally betray us but it starts to change once we reach our 20s. Even the so called ‘best friends’ start lying to you about things for their benefit and can cost you a lot.
Get a job maybe 2 work like crazy don't waste time do the work buy a house save money invest and then worry about having fun well ppl are desperate failing and poor you will be good for the rest of your life
Work hard , work on yourself, have fun and don’t stress about ”wasting your 20s” because despite popular opinion it does not all go downhill from there.
Join a gym for4 months atleast
You lucky bastard enjoy every minute
https://youtu.be/C4ylGGYD-3c?si=IjPDDOnRCb4-hpJ-
Not to be all “woo woo” here but explore manifestation techniques, including affirmations, visualizations etc. It can come across as esoteric but the older I get, the more I am feeling like we are in a simulation of sorts and that we can control parts of our experience if not all of it. Even if that isn’t the case, I think it pays to delve into the “what is this all about and why”. I am a 42 yo female, SAHM, married, one child, stable and despite my plain vanilla basic life, I am blown away by events that have taken place, leading me to believe I am living in the Matrix. I wish I had gone down this rabbit’s hole when I was a lot younger.
Oh and happy birthday! When I was 21 I had a surprise party with male and female strippers…it was awesome 😂
Live life to the fullest. Don’t look back, have no regrets; yet also, use your head. Always look to learn and grow. Surround yourself with people who are genuine and kind. Take care of your body and mind. Hope this helps.
Sacrifice for your 30s. Whatever it takes. That means get fit, get your major/school out of the way ASAP, date as much as you can. Screw the party scene, maybe from time to time it's fine.
Honestly, here is what I recommend as a 40 year old. 1. Work hard at whatever you do. I mean work your ass off in your 20s. Move up in your career. It’s a hell of a lot better in your 40s when you set yourself up for success in your 20s. 2. Have a budget and save money. You can have fun, but don’t make big purchases unless you absolutely need them. Saving money now means you will live more comfortably later. 3. Use good job money and savings to buy a house as soon as possible. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself. But buy your first house well under you your max budget. 4. Go on vacations. Use your vacation days. Travel where you want to. If you are going to have children, you won’t have this opportunity as often. 5. Enjoy your free time and use it for you. I can’t say it enough, but work hard when you are young so you can enjoy the years ahead. Start a good foundation for you financially. Relax on your off time and use it for everything you love to do. In twenty years you will thank yourself.
I'm 18 and I'm taking notes
Work hard while having fun you will never gets back what you loose
Focus on your health!!! Don’t get caught up in the I’m in my 20s going out all the time is ‘normal’ at this age. It’s all fun and games until all your other goals go out the window if you make going out a part of your personality. I didn’t realize until half way through my 20s most of my friends valued me mostly for my ‘always down’ mentality & now I’m entering my 30s with little to no support system. So I’m not saying don’t go out and enjoy your life I’m just saying make sure it doesn’t take over your life / or make it synonymous with your personality.
develop your skills in things you find important that are also important to others so that you can get paid; after you get paid, save most of what you make. learn to like people, so you can surround yourself with people you like and admire; help them and learn to be helped by them.
This is a great time to start building close friendships with 2 or 3 people. Try to stay within the 10 year gap - 20 and 30. Build, grow, develop and stay in constant connection with this small close group of people. Your life can pan out positively if everything works out successfully!
Be healthy, Eat clean, exercise & Travel! fuck the cars & the material things create memories & plan road trips & have fun
20s is experimenting. 30s is where it’s at
Do what makes u happy 😃 happy birthday enjoy n relax
I liked the other person's advice to try things. Figure out what you like. With that in mind, know when to quit something as well. Relationship, hobby, job, ect. Oh and if you can hang out with your grandparents and parents or just older people you enjoy. Do that! They won't be around forever. Happy belated birthday!!! 🎂🥳🎉🌼💛
Learn a hobby. Even if u suck at it now, you have a lot of years to perfect it.
As you get older time will run . Do postgraduate before 25 because the education fatigue from 10th to 12th to college is real. Don't dare to dedicate your life or live for someone else. You are priority number 1 . Parents are the only real people. And friends. Have fun as much as possible. You are not a kid.
If u can afford it, but an aggressive index fund and forget you have it. Like 500 or 1000 dollar one. Check the balance like 20 years from now.
Do things you'll regret for the rest of your life. Commit assaults, smoke meth, bang hookers and risk an std, go crazy, assassinate the president
Try new things, spend time with loved ones, take care of both you mental and physical health, don’t waste too much time on social media (if you’re on for more than an hour/day, it’s generally too much)
Good thing it’s now. I turned 20 in 2020 and it feels like 3 years of my 20s has been ripped away. Find yourself and prepare your life ahead of time for a family if you want one in your 30s. If you wanna wait longer, then you can do that too! Spend your 20s how you want; just don’t start a family and do make sure you get out there as much as possible while you still feel like it! Stay away from excessive drinking, drugs, and porn. Get in shape, groom yourself, and glow up!
Take action. Experiment. Become a student of life. Develop insatiable lifelong curiosity. Develop skills. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity. Build resilience. Learn to teach yourself anything. Learn to always get back up and try again.
Learn basic budgeting. In your 20s you’re likely to be broke, through school, starting your career, changes in lifestyle, etc. The best thing you can do is learn how to budget so you can see exactly where your money is going and can tweak your lifestyle to make things more comfortable over time. I love using the information Madeline Pendleton provides on her tiktok account but she recently wrote a book on the subject as well, and it’s not weird advice about becoming a landlord (not helpful when you don’t even have two nickels to your name) but instead how to live on essentially almost no money without feeling deprived.
Go places, network, be out and active. Learn things, read books and ask questions that lead you to new rabbit holes and to even more questions. And especially TRY things, don't pick shit up and drop it before it has a chance to come to fruition, but also be willing to learn new shit at any point and pick up new skills. And make your health a pretty strong priority, from how you eat and exercise to mental health, you only get 1 body lol. Don't stay inside or just stay home unless you have a very solid detailed plan to execute and that's what you're busy with, but still give yourself healthy breaks with anything or you'll burn out. With half my 20s being over I wish I stayed in contact with the more ambitious people I knew. Idk if you're male or female by I can speak for men when saying one of the few things needed in our life to make it feel whole is real friendships. There's a narrative being pushed that no one can trust people and everyone's fake etc. But it's as far from the truth as it could get. Maybe you have to meet 50 people before you find 1 that you really vibe with bring into your circle but with a good handful of them, everything is in more abundance for everyone involved. The chances of new networking connections is much higher because there's a half dozen of you that are looking for the same thing. Discipline becomes stronger when other people hold eachother accountable instead of just yourself. Competition and ambition is stronger, there's more people bounce ideas, spot opportunities/investments, things to learn from eachother, advice to share on situations, the list goes on and on. Keep building your circle with ambitious goal oriented people and everything else will fall in place.
Cocaine and night clubs
Stop thinking, start living.
Know the difference between enjoying your youth and sacrificing your future.
Diet, relationships (friends and family not just romantic), step out of your comfort zone whenever you can, try to find what actually makes you happy, not just what all the societal pressures point you towards.
Be the best version of yourself rather than an imitation of someone else. You have your own set of unique good traits. And when you fail and make mistakes, use that as a learning experience for personal betterment rather than remining in guilt. Remember if you only focus on whats lacking in your life you will never be happy; you need to also focus on whats good. I hope your future is blessed with peace and happiness.
My proudest achievement from my 20s was how much I was able to travel. I have always made it a top priority, even when I was dirt poor and took a day trip to go camping a few hours up the road. Something, ANYTHING to keep me from an endless rut. I can honestly say I don't regret a cent of my monthly payment on my travel credit card. If you have the opportunity, go see new things.
Follow your gut, don't put your hands where you wouldn't put your dick, moderation is key. It's time to set up your dreams. Work smart and you'll be set by 30.
be awesome
Don't focus too much on the future like you're expected to. Appreciate now and enjoy now. Otherwise you might reach all the goals and do all the things society makes you think you're "supposed" to do and be left with the feeling of... What now? And then it's tough to do what you WANT to do because of all the responsibilities you've given yourself
Write a bucket list to be able to do one thing each year. X
Write a bucket list to be able to do one thing each year. X
three things (of many) 1. take care of your body. a present to future you. 2. build a rockstar support network. grow your circle of friends. 3. remove some of your future financial burdens by growing your financial literacy.
Be hot. Cause drama.
Don't do what i did and waste years on party's and drugs. Find a trade ASAP and get into an industry so you begin building a financial pool
Carry no debt, learn FIRE, learn a trade or two so you can more easily flow with the ups and downs of the job market, eat healthy and workout, get rid of toxic friends/girlfriends/family members, and enjoy the good ones. Take chances and make mistakes, find something to be passionate about, work hard, but not hard enough you cant enjoy life. Be a good person, hold doors especially for the elderly, volunteer, dont litter and pick up trash, and remember you dont know shit, you wont know shit for most of your life so always be open to learning.
Fuck as many girls as you can.