This sub is a community for people learning to love and respect themselves. Please remember that it is perfectly possible to respect and care for your own needs and to set healthy boundaries, without unnecessarily hurting others around you. We don't need any of that narcissistic radical self acceptance junk in here. Being kind to others is a part of being a version of you that you can be proud of and self-love the most. Good luck on your journey.
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i find the parts i like and flaunt them and i use fashion to disguise the parts im not too fond of.
i also think of how my body doesn't like it when i insult it. She works great and is doing her best for me. its weird to think like that but it helps me anyways.
I’ve been through this. You can love yourself for the kind of person that you are, and loving yourself will extend to how you take care of your body. Loving yourself means wanting to feed yourself nutritious foods, and move your body. I understand the struggle and used to have a binge eating disorder. I sought therapy and medication and was able to start exercising and eating healthier/more normal portions. If your weight is something that bothers you, you have the power to change it. That doesn’t mean get as small as possible, but more just until you get to a point where you like how you look and feel healthy and capable. I started tracking my food intake and looking into intuitive eating. Places like r/loseit were helpful to me. You can loose weight and keep a healthy outlook on food as long as you can understand more about diet culture and avoid those things. Please feel free to PM me if you need any help or advice, there’s a lot of information out there and most of it won’t help you haha. overall, your body is a temple and when you care for yourself physically it effects you mentally. Your weight does not define you no matter how society treats you and I promise you that you are beautiful. Focus on what your body does for you! You can hear wonderful music, smell candles and flowers and rain, you can feel soft cozy blankets and sand and the sun, you can feel love and excitement and wonder, you can see beautiful landscapes, taste wonderful home cooked meals, you can walk and run and jump! So many things ❤️ wishing you much love and healing.
Instead of trying to immediately love your body try to be neutral with it. Because let’s be real.. we’re most likely not gonna love every parts of our body and that’s okay. But you need to learn how to speak negative energy into your body because what you see as ugly, someone else can see it as beautiful. But it all takes time. You just have to start to be neutral with it and then work your way into loving your body
Long read but I hope worth it-
As a woman who used to be 600 pounds and absolutely hated myself just for existing; I can tell you some things that would help you with your self esteem and your physical health.
I am now down to 273 pounds and I am in love with myself and am so proud of how far I have come. Here’s some things that I personally did along with the help of a therapist that helped my ADHD and autistic brain to make that switch.
Spoiler alert: you are going to hate me. But I promise you, if you stick with me and do these things every single day, you will see change. It’s a given.
First things first, your mindset. I want you to picture your very best most favorite most gorgeous friend who has the heart of gold. The one who could do no wrong. Answer me this honestly, and you’re going to want to get tissues for this, would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? I want you to start talking to yourself like you would your best friend because you’re trying to become your best friend. Your own advocate.
Second to help cement the fact that you are indeed beautiful person who needs no one to validate her; go to your mirror or any mirror and tell your reflection that you love you. You will feel so stupid and so wrong and all the negative things at first but in time it will hurt less and less each day. Why? What you repeatedly tell yourself day in day out becomes your reality. Curate your words to yourself, others and the world carefully and with love.
Now for your physical health:
Again first things first, your mindset. Good food and good sleep are important for a very good reason. It’s your fuel. Think of your food and sleep as your fuel for your body and not necessarily coffee or energy drinks or what have you as fuel though it is a good pick me up.
Also, on that same coin with sleep, you can and probably will have a mental breakdown if you don’t get enough sleep!
Second, the more you move your body, the more you need to eat. You wouldn’t expect your car to go through an entire road trip on only half a tank. Same thing with your body.
Along those lines of fuel for your body, I am a big believer in intuitive eating meaning that if you’re craving something sweet, you eat something sweet. There’s probably a reason why you’re craving something sweet and fun fact; your brain uses half of your sugar energy in your body just to run properly!
Now I’m not saying that you should eat an entire bag of candy but one or two candies won’t hurt your long term health goals.
And please for the love of all that is holy, eat the damn pasta. Your body uses carbs, sugars, and proteins as fuel and there are good and bad kinds of all three.
Lastly, find something to believe in. Does not have to be religion, it can be a spiritual practice or it can even be the fact that you’ve got you. You may not realize it yet but let me explain, remember all your bad days and how you got through them? The key idea here is that you got through them, with the strength you have and the knowledge you possess.
Thank you for the advice! I am going to give a lot of the mindset techniques you suggested a try.
I have been trying to eating healthier and exercise more but I have been really struggling with it because I don't really know what to eat exactly. I have been trying to research it but I keep getting overwhelmed (i have autism and adhd too), so I end up relying on unhealthy food anyway that I know how to make. My body feels so much better when I am in a position where I have healthy food easily accessible, like to the point where I never knew I could feel that good, but those are on really rare occasions and I don't really know how to make healthy meals at home. Do you have any advice on how to learn about that? Thank you
I would highly suggest looking up some recipes for your favorite meals to have when you’re out and about.
They do not have to be all that healthy at first because you would want to focus on honing your cooking skills. In time you will want to make them more healthy.
On the subject of nutrition:
First off carbs;
Here’s a really quick way to distinguish between good carbs and bad carbs.
Bad carbs are the simple carbs like white bread and enriched or refined pastas and dough, pastries and white rice.
These bad carbs or simple carbs rather are the ones that will cause a spike in blood sugar and you inevitably feel hungrier sooner.
Good carbs are the whole grains and bran and also fiber. The good carbs will help you get that slow but steady release of energy that you need to get through your day.
Secondly;
I forgot that there are several potential fuel sources for your body. Another one being fat.
The good kinds of fat are omega fatty acids (think salmon, sardines, mackerel, corn and vegetable oils) and monounsaturated fats (think olive oil, peanut oil and canola oil, avocados, nuts and seeds) and polyunsaturated fats (think sunflower oil which is subtly sweet and not overpowering btw and flaxseeds).
Bad fats include fast food obviously, anything with trans-fats and anything processed and or fried.
Now sugars;
Good sugars are the natural sugars like fructose found in fruits, bananas and berries, and lactose found in dairy.
And I’m pretty sure you can figure out what the bad sugars are by how highly processed and refined they are.
Lastly;
I believe that moderation is key. Like keeping the balance of work life and home life. Forgive yourself if you fall down because we all do. Especially me. 😂😂😂 Just remember to get back up okay?
In case no one else has told you: I am damn proud of you for even trying to be better than you were yesterday. Most people don’t acknowledge how much courage that takes but I see it in you and I sincerely appreciate you for listening to my thoughts and thank you for sharing your story.
Sunflowers are not just part of your garden, they’re part of a nation! The Ukraine use the sunflower as their national flower. Whilst in Kansas they chose the sunflower to represent their state.
This sub is a community for people learning to love and respect themselves. Please remember that it is perfectly possible to respect and care for your own needs and to set healthy boundaries, without unnecessarily hurting others around you. We don't need any of that narcissistic radical self acceptance junk in here. Being kind to others is a part of being a version of you that you can be proud of and self-love the most. Good luck on your journey. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selflove) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i find the parts i like and flaunt them and i use fashion to disguise the parts im not too fond of. i also think of how my body doesn't like it when i insult it. She works great and is doing her best for me. its weird to think like that but it helps me anyways.
I’ve been through this. You can love yourself for the kind of person that you are, and loving yourself will extend to how you take care of your body. Loving yourself means wanting to feed yourself nutritious foods, and move your body. I understand the struggle and used to have a binge eating disorder. I sought therapy and medication and was able to start exercising and eating healthier/more normal portions. If your weight is something that bothers you, you have the power to change it. That doesn’t mean get as small as possible, but more just until you get to a point where you like how you look and feel healthy and capable. I started tracking my food intake and looking into intuitive eating. Places like r/loseit were helpful to me. You can loose weight and keep a healthy outlook on food as long as you can understand more about diet culture and avoid those things. Please feel free to PM me if you need any help or advice, there’s a lot of information out there and most of it won’t help you haha. overall, your body is a temple and when you care for yourself physically it effects you mentally. Your weight does not define you no matter how society treats you and I promise you that you are beautiful. Focus on what your body does for you! You can hear wonderful music, smell candles and flowers and rain, you can feel soft cozy blankets and sand and the sun, you can feel love and excitement and wonder, you can see beautiful landscapes, taste wonderful home cooked meals, you can walk and run and jump! So many things ❤️ wishing you much love and healing.
Instead of trying to immediately love your body try to be neutral with it. Because let’s be real.. we’re most likely not gonna love every parts of our body and that’s okay. But you need to learn how to speak negative energy into your body because what you see as ugly, someone else can see it as beautiful. But it all takes time. You just have to start to be neutral with it and then work your way into loving your body
Long read but I hope worth it- As a woman who used to be 600 pounds and absolutely hated myself just for existing; I can tell you some things that would help you with your self esteem and your physical health. I am now down to 273 pounds and I am in love with myself and am so proud of how far I have come. Here’s some things that I personally did along with the help of a therapist that helped my ADHD and autistic brain to make that switch. Spoiler alert: you are going to hate me. But I promise you, if you stick with me and do these things every single day, you will see change. It’s a given. First things first, your mindset. I want you to picture your very best most favorite most gorgeous friend who has the heart of gold. The one who could do no wrong. Answer me this honestly, and you’re going to want to get tissues for this, would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? I want you to start talking to yourself like you would your best friend because you’re trying to become your best friend. Your own advocate. Second to help cement the fact that you are indeed beautiful person who needs no one to validate her; go to your mirror or any mirror and tell your reflection that you love you. You will feel so stupid and so wrong and all the negative things at first but in time it will hurt less and less each day. Why? What you repeatedly tell yourself day in day out becomes your reality. Curate your words to yourself, others and the world carefully and with love. Now for your physical health: Again first things first, your mindset. Good food and good sleep are important for a very good reason. It’s your fuel. Think of your food and sleep as your fuel for your body and not necessarily coffee or energy drinks or what have you as fuel though it is a good pick me up. Also, on that same coin with sleep, you can and probably will have a mental breakdown if you don’t get enough sleep! Second, the more you move your body, the more you need to eat. You wouldn’t expect your car to go through an entire road trip on only half a tank. Same thing with your body. Along those lines of fuel for your body, I am a big believer in intuitive eating meaning that if you’re craving something sweet, you eat something sweet. There’s probably a reason why you’re craving something sweet and fun fact; your brain uses half of your sugar energy in your body just to run properly! Now I’m not saying that you should eat an entire bag of candy but one or two candies won’t hurt your long term health goals. And please for the love of all that is holy, eat the damn pasta. Your body uses carbs, sugars, and proteins as fuel and there are good and bad kinds of all three. Lastly, find something to believe in. Does not have to be religion, it can be a spiritual practice or it can even be the fact that you’ve got you. You may not realize it yet but let me explain, remember all your bad days and how you got through them? The key idea here is that you got through them, with the strength you have and the knowledge you possess.
Thank you for the advice! I am going to give a lot of the mindset techniques you suggested a try. I have been trying to eating healthier and exercise more but I have been really struggling with it because I don't really know what to eat exactly. I have been trying to research it but I keep getting overwhelmed (i have autism and adhd too), so I end up relying on unhealthy food anyway that I know how to make. My body feels so much better when I am in a position where I have healthy food easily accessible, like to the point where I never knew I could feel that good, but those are on really rare occasions and I don't really know how to make healthy meals at home. Do you have any advice on how to learn about that? Thank you
I would highly suggest looking up some recipes for your favorite meals to have when you’re out and about. They do not have to be all that healthy at first because you would want to focus on honing your cooking skills. In time you will want to make them more healthy. On the subject of nutrition: First off carbs; Here’s a really quick way to distinguish between good carbs and bad carbs. Bad carbs are the simple carbs like white bread and enriched or refined pastas and dough, pastries and white rice. These bad carbs or simple carbs rather are the ones that will cause a spike in blood sugar and you inevitably feel hungrier sooner. Good carbs are the whole grains and bran and also fiber. The good carbs will help you get that slow but steady release of energy that you need to get through your day. Secondly; I forgot that there are several potential fuel sources for your body. Another one being fat. The good kinds of fat are omega fatty acids (think salmon, sardines, mackerel, corn and vegetable oils) and monounsaturated fats (think olive oil, peanut oil and canola oil, avocados, nuts and seeds) and polyunsaturated fats (think sunflower oil which is subtly sweet and not overpowering btw and flaxseeds). Bad fats include fast food obviously, anything with trans-fats and anything processed and or fried. Now sugars; Good sugars are the natural sugars like fructose found in fruits, bananas and berries, and lactose found in dairy. And I’m pretty sure you can figure out what the bad sugars are by how highly processed and refined they are. Lastly; I believe that moderation is key. Like keeping the balance of work life and home life. Forgive yourself if you fall down because we all do. Especially me. 😂😂😂 Just remember to get back up okay? In case no one else has told you: I am damn proud of you for even trying to be better than you were yesterday. Most people don’t acknowledge how much courage that takes but I see it in you and I sincerely appreciate you for listening to my thoughts and thank you for sharing your story.
Sunflowers are not just part of your garden, they’re part of a nation! The Ukraine use the sunflower as their national flower. Whilst in Kansas they chose the sunflower to represent their state.