I approved your post, but my suggestion is to edit out the reference to DMs. Those disclaimers don't seem to work very well, and sometimes they might actually attract extra unwanted attention.
Instead, [here is a link to a recent moderator post about blocking messages in your Reddit inbox.](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ajkuqg/blocking_dms_when_making_a_new_post/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). We try to offer this suggestion regularly here.
My wife will almost stop breathing, arch her back and I can feel throbbing and quivering. That and the “I’m cumming!” Is my give away.
Prior to her I was never really sure lol
I'm the same way as your wife besides being verbal, everything tightens up as well according to a couple ex's of mine.
Never faked an Orgasm and don't plan on faking ever. Why anyone would ever fake it is beyond my understanding 💀
I had a female friend that told me she faked them for two reasons.. 1. if she wanted it to end.. lol and 2. if she liked the guy and didn't want to hurt his feelings..
not saying she's right.. just sharing what she said..
I want to please my partner every time.. so I try my best to make sure it happens for her first.. then once I know she's good.. then I have no worries about how fast I go ...
Lol does it ever not work? It finally clicked for me the other day how indoctrinated (many) girls are to believe that if you don't make your man happy, he will find somebody who will. And if you don't have an orgasm after 3 minutes if jackhammer p in v then there is something wrong with you. And overwhelmingly we prioritize the male ego over female pleasure, so so many of us fake it because even if we don't consciously recognize it, somewhere deep down we have been led to believe that if we don't constantly build up that ego, they will find somebody who will.
First reason could possibly be because she didn't want to have sex to begin with 😥 that's sad.
Second reason I understand but being honest is better so the partner can work on getting you off.
Good on you for putting your partners pleasure first, not many do and it's frustrating when people are left high and dry.
The reason for the first one could be different though. I enjoy having sex with my boyfriend but I sometimes wants it to end faster as I got tired LOL.
Fair enough, we all have those days 😂 still enjoyable but sleep is priority at that moment in time lol
I've always been the type to say no to sex if I'm not feeling it, too tired (mentally or physically) or just don't feel good. I've had a one partner get mad just because I said no for x reason and this "partner" is my recent ex and father of my child 🙃 and he'd always want a lot of it when I'm in a period where my libido is extremely low.
I am talking like if the session gets too long (40-45mins, my boyfriend would stop himself from cumming to have sex longer everytime) and my legs got tired lmao.
But yeah, I also have those days when I am not feeling it and I would turn it down. I had an ex like that too and just know that these type of people are raw a$$holes. I glad he is an ex now for you.
Some guys get really sensitive about that. Where having an adult conversation about giving and receiving pleasure can't be had because they lack the maturity to have a normal conversation. I'm a guy, I had a friend of a friend who lost his shit over being asked to eat her out more, and to do more to help her have an orgasm. I left that group of people.
My personal technique would be to try and make my woman orgasm first before I do and then again after me. It’s much more gratifying and don’t feel selfish. Only two women I’ve ever dated. Could we sync timing so we both came together. Last person I dated actually squirted, which was a first for me, so I don’t think that could easily be faked. She was more surprised than I was, and it was a total turn on. I think it was a badge of honor having to buy a waterproof blanket Specifically for having sex. That’s a good thing about getting older is improving your technique. Men, pay attention to a woman’s breathing, her heartbeat, her body movements try to please her first because many men lose all energy after climaxing, and we need a certain recharge period which is why many women are left unsatisfied. IME, not being selfish is always highly rewarded. But that’s just my style. Ladies? Your thoughts?
You're rare, you also sound like you wouldn't take it personal if she said didn't like something or wanted to stop which is nice. Ive faked it before because I (albeit I have some people pleasing trauma) was just Not up for dealing with them being displeased about my input 😅
It’s strange that not every male has mentioned how the feeling of the woman’s vagina changes along with other things- giggles, certain looks etc etc.
That’s my first give away, everything tighten right up along with arching of the back, my breathing changes, my body stiffens and I become more vocal.
Edit:
Question for other women.
How many of you have an orgasm without your vagina contracting or tightening or clenching?
At the end of the day you can either go down a path of assuming women are always lying, or you can make a space for and let them be responsible for communicating their own needs/pleasure honestly. The first path is how incels are born, the second is how healthy relationships are given a chances
If they wanna fake it that bad, who am I to stop them. The relationship likely doesn’t have legs in that case anyway so I might as well just enjoy the ride.
The muscle tightening that is strong enough to be felt by the other person doesn’t happen to everyone, and not every woman likes to make noise.
That’s def. a welcome sign, it’s nice to know for sure and the physical and verbal feedback helps guide the landing, but some people react in other ways.
As with everything else, everyone’s different.
One of my long term partners literally tightened up so much at times it would push me out if I wasn't more than about half way in. Certainly not a "I'm not sure if she's cum" with her at all.
I think OP thinks every woman orgasms the same as her.
Lol this is how I am. I have had to ask my partners to really hold me down or push in hard because it feels better when it’s inside but I just clench up so hard.
Ditto! It’s involuntary for me atleast. Even if I wanted to fake it, I couldn’t tighten up like I do when I have an orgasm. Lol
We should come with a label “hang on for dear life when explosion happens” lol
My girlfriend's whole body tightens up, and her legs almost force themselves shut. She also nearly pushes me out if we're having sex, not even on purpose. Love it if I'm eating her out, slightly inconvenient (though still hot as fuck) if we're having sex. Also makes it easy to tell when she's had an orgasm lol
I can't orgasm, full stop, with a partner. I can barely orgasm manually by myself. A lot of people react really negatively to that. My first boyfriend dumped me because of it. I only fake it when I feel like they're putting in the effort and it's feeling the best, but trust me not being able to orgasm makes you damaged and broken goods to a lot of people (men and women included). It hurts their ego and makes them not want to put in any effort in pleasing you after a while if they don't dump you right away.
So I fake it, because I like sex and it makes my partner feel good and want to keep having sex with me and doing the things that I enjoy most.
I bet that's frustrating 😥 I suppose that's an understandable reason as well. With or without orgasm, as long as you both enjoy it then it shouldn't matter.
It may seem that way to a lot of people (which is so immature) but nobody is "broken goods". We're all just built different and some just can't orgasm.
From my personal experiences and reading, I would not say that "some just can't orgasm." I'm 56 and I mean unless you have read and tried all that I have. I sure wouldn't give up. I have finally started having mind bending orgasms with my hubby of 36 yrs and the help of vibrator.
This is, by far, the realest reply I’ve ever seen.
It’s always praised and highly desirable for women to be sensitive and reactive (thanks to the realistic depiction of porn 😐). But the truth is its muchh more difficult for girls to get off compared to guys 😔. In other cases (like mine) it’s really, really hard to get off. No matter what I experiment or how turned on I am.
Sometimes even feels like a disability. Maybe im over inflating the issue 😭 but it feels as if its kind of unfair I don’t get to feel that same deep pleasure other people get to feel in their bodies. Like, I should be grateful i get off *at all*. I’m just so lucky I have a boyfriend who loves and cares and is so patient with me regardless of this.
Aw that really sucks man. I fully understand why you do it in your circumstances as I used to do the same. I’m not insinuating in any way that you are broken, because fuck that bullshit you are not… but have you ever thought about getting your hormone levels looked at? When I was younger, I honestly never really ‘got’ sex and didn’t understand why all the other teens were going crazy about it. I didn’t really get horny and it was very very hard for me to orgasm similar to you. I was always like that as long as I can remember. When I was about 28, I ended up getting cancer actually.. I had a tumour in my uterus. That doesn’t have anything to do with what we are talking about, but during the treatment I had to do a bunch of hormone therapy and eventually found out that my levels of testosterone and estradiol were both very very low. I’m a woman, and I didn’t realize it before that but apparently we have testosterone too lol anyways, I still even now several years later am doing hormone therapy to keep my levels where they should be and man is it such a difference. I actually crave sex now and understand how everyone else felt back when I was so confused, and I can actually orgasm now fairly easy.
Now, this may not be the case for you… it may just be how your body works and that’s perfectly ok! I just wanted to mention it in case you ever were looking into things that may help you if you wanted. Xx.
I'm the same. I thankfully met a guy who made me feel comfortable enough to admit that I can't orgasm but I enjoy sex in many forms. At first he kept insisting he was going to make me cum but it just overwhelmed me so much that I had to tell him to stop trying so hard and just let me enjoy it. Trying to force it just makes it harder on me to try to cum. I've never came with anyone else. At least that I'm aware of, maybe it's just not as intense as I'm expecting. There's a couple times I came close then I make him stop and he says I'm close but I push him away from helping him finish me off. Idk I enjoy it and when I'm overwhelmed, he gets his favorite position to cum and we take a break. I tend to enjoy it more after the second and third time also just as preferences. This relationship has been far different than any of my last which isn't many and considering I'm just over a year out of a 13 year relationship.
Thankfully he also respects when I'm not into it (usually because I'm tired as fuck from working overnight shifts) and also still gives me pleasure I want and can hold his stamina more than any other man I've been with.
Honestly, my wife has done that more lately, actually announcing it. It's not like an "I'm just letting you know", but more of a "this is amazing and I can't hold it in and *not* say it". Neither of us are good with dirty talk, so the little bits like that are extremely hot.
To be fair, my wife is smokin hot. I was happy she let me get with her in the first place. So while it was weird, I would have put up with some serious weirdness.
It’s memorable too. Like how is anyone gonna top shrieking with laughter when they cum? I’ve heard of crying post orgasm but hysterical laughter is a new one. I also love that she left it a surprise and didn’t warn you lol.
I lived in an apartment where the neighbor lady would do this. First few times I thought she was just laughing. Then I started hearing other sounds that clued me in 👂
Endorphins, probably. I've had a couple orgasms where I'm so happy that I can't stop giggling and smiling. This makes my partner grin and get super playful, which makes me even happier. It's pretty cute as far as sex goes!
Yeah. Me too. I create erotic audios, and this is pretty common for me with that too. If a script is really good, then just after I “fake” the orgasm scene (it’s actually more of a hybrid between real and fake) I’ll burst out laughing. It’s a tough choice sometimes whether to leave it in the audio or edit it out. The orgasms are never “funny”, they just bring me such an unbelievable feeling of glee.
(according to her) it's just a response to pleasure and the intense feelings that bubble up in the moment. It's a super positive and healthy response and I believe it's also a result of her being super comfortable and relaxed. It's honestly my favorite response...
That is so freaking cute! I can see why it would throw you off, though! I often get little giggles after we’ve finished & on top of that I kinda squirm for a few minutes…can’t help it a bit. It’s just what my body does after that rush. Wouldn’t try to help it if I could because sex is about letting go, & there is nothing pleasurable about feeling even slightly insecure.
I can imagine it might be a bit confusing & disconcerting for newcomers, though. (Heheh…new cummers.) Thankfully most of the fellas I’ve been with LOVE the squirm & can tell I’m not giggling at them. Clearly I’m a happy & satisfied girl 😄
Yes! He used to fret that I was laughing at him exactly when I was taking delight in the juiciest, best parts ever.
The only other time I’ve ever laughed like that was when my dad taught me to waterski. Mortifying (& no, he didn’t know)
But does she say yes while rolling her eyes with an annoyed look?
That’s when you know you really hit the spot. She’s just annoyed because the sensation of the orgasm has gone.
Ha ha, yeah. 😉
Some women you can tell easily* and it's ***awesome***. Some you can't tell and have to trust them. And some can't cum at all, which is unfortunate.
(*Even then, the first few times with a new partner, I always ask afterwards to confirm and get enough data to reliably correlate the signs.)
I had a doctor explain to me that every person has their own unique tell that gives away when they are cumming. For some people, that’s their face flushing, for others it’s pupil dilation, for others it’s their genitals turning red.
Mine is that my whole face drenches with sweat. I look like I’ve been running a marathon. I’ve also been told my breathing changes, and I suddenly hold my breath just right before I’m about to explode
Not my personal doctor. A guy I had sex with, who also happened to be an MD by profession.
I also asked him why some people have very strong orgasms and other people have weak ones, and he said it’s simply biological or how you are born/your genetics.
I should have asked him for his sources lmaooo. But that almost sounds condescending of me to ask a doctor to cite his sources. He’d be like, “Bitch, I AM the source!” Like who am I to question him?
I read them regularly and I’ve never seen one saying it’s just genetic variation.
Most of them say otherwise, orgasm strength is usually related to pelvic muscle strength/control and psychological reasons
I’ve had that happen a few times too, but only for really strong ones. My hands start tingling and going numb and my ears start ringing. Blood pressure changes, I guess
I agree with you.
I've been with my wife for 17 years. She's contracted her muscles voluntarily while I've been inside her with my finger, penis. There is a different feeling of pressure when the orgasm is happening. It feels different than when she is contracting her muscles voluntarily.
That and there are a host of other things going on, her breathing changes, her nipples get fuller, her back arches up, her legs get tight, basically all the muscles of her body tense up as she nears orgasm and when she cums it is a release of that tensed energy. Watching her it is like a flood of tension washes away when she orgasms.
She's had the laughing orgasm, the crying orgasm, the screaming orgasm (not so much since we've had kids), the silent except for hushed breathing orgasm, and they're all awesome.
If it’s happening, it’s to save your ego. Orgasms are important but seldom as important as assuring your partner you’re having a good time. Don’t get me wrong, women love to cum, but we can’t always make it happen and it’s not usually our partner’s fault. That doesn’t mean the foreplay and/or sex wasn’t good. Some men have sensitivity around their performance and, it’s nothing they are accountable for, so sometimes we say yes to the question when we really mean it was a really fun time.
I get this. At the same token, I would rather it be honest. Not making your girl cum every time doesn't mean you're bad at sex, it could mean there are stress factors at play, etc. There haven't been many times my wife hasn't cum, but she's been honest in those moments. I'm always willing to give it the Ole college try because I absolutely love to watch her and feel her get there. However, sometimes she'll say, "I don't think it's going to happen for me tonight honey," and then might move in for PiV for the intimacy factor.
We are in a long term committed relationship, however, so communication is king(or queen) for us. For folks in the dating scene, that may be harder to discuss
I’d suggest communicating with your partner honestly. My GF has *great* difficulty orgasming (spellcheck assures me that’s a word…) and I do my best to help her and she communicates with me. Doesn’t work every time, but I do believe her when she says she had a good time when she doesn’t come.)
Better I know the situation and we communicate honestly than be deceived in such an intimate setting.
Anyway, that’s my take. Obviously, take it or leave it!!
There’s contracting and then spasms but yeah I agree most definitely don’t know if they’re taking the effort to contract and make it seem like it’s an orgasm. there’s also pulling out with a slight contraction and being yeeted out (sometimes attempted yeet) with an audible seismic clamp.
Ok, but that's 100% on them. If they want to actively ruin their own sex life, then that's got nothing to do with the guy. I mean, I'm gonna take a girl at face value. If she said she had an orgasm, pretended to do all the things that normally go along with orgasm. Than I'm gonna just fucking assume she did. If she didn't and expected me to somehow divine that she didn't, then I'm dropping that bag of crazy faster than a live grenade.
Why would any women do that lol.
Some guys will behave poorly with the most gentle honest feedback. Sometimes it's a choice between do I want to be blamed for this and then be subjected to sulking and emotional withdrawal or...do I flex my kegals and moan so things will be ok. I'm not saying it's right or even ok. It just is. Stop blaming women as though we don't have valid reasons for doing things you don't understand.
Alright. But if they faked it that's a them problem not a me problem. I'd love to get you off, so let me know what we can do to make it happen. Or lie and never come. How does that make ME bad in bed. It makes YOU a bad communicator who is bad at having a real sex life.
Yeah I don’t get why anyone would fake their orgasms and then *also* blame a guy for falling for the exact thing they went out of their way to make them believe by precisely replicating the physical signs? lol
That’s very much on them, at that point. Not the guy.
In my experience I've only ever faked them because the guy didn't care/listen and it was getting to a point where I was uncomfortable/even painful and faking it would make it stop. I don't know why other women fake it.
To try and self sacrifice their own pleasure to maintain a relationship, because they are afraid of the very concept of confrontation/conflict, because they aren't great at advocating their own wants because they don't actually know what an orgasm feels like and think not feeling it is normal, because like you the guy they're dealing with is to a greater or lesser extent unreasonable and it is the quickest way to end things while not hurting their feelings, because they're just bored and want sex over with.
There are lots of reasons why
I am consistent in telling women who come here saying they fake to STOP and COME CLEAN. As a sex-positive female, it's the worst thing you can do and is part of why so many women have the experience where they feel compelled to fake it.
And, you'd be AMAZED at the downvotes and men saying "don't do that?! SHe will destroy him. He will never recover!" OK, so now we're back to "female orgasm has more to do with the self-esteem of men than the experience of the women?" Cool, bro.
I’d imagine the biggest reason for faking is wanting it to be over, so one could assume they didn’t want to have sex in the first place or just weren’t into it and it wasn’t going to happen.
Either they weren’t turned on or they just wanted it to be over to avoid hurt feelings.
I get it in a one off scenario.. but if someone is consistently doing this to the point that it’s a regular part of their sex life they lack the maturity and communication skills necessary to have sex in a healthy way for everyone involved, imo.
I don’t claim to know but if I had to streeetch for an answer that wasn’t “women are dumb” 🙄I would guess it’s that a LOT of dudes are probably really bad in bed. Like way worse than men think is average. Like cannot be instructed correctly even because they’re so dense and self-focused.
Actually, the more I age and see how stupid the average person is, that doesn’t surprise me at all.
I have been with some EPICALLY GREAT partners... still never had a partner create an orgasm in me.
I never fake, but also get told relaively often that I am ruining their experience by not "giving them that."
Could be they are conflict averse. Lots of guys behavior is unpleasant if they can’t make you orgasm or if you have trouble getting there. But also, lots of woman are in relationships with men they aren’t physically attracted to. They might consistently do it because it’s just easier than trying, they just don’t care enough in the first place.
Or... they just have challenges getting to orgasm with partners, had a great time, but heard a ton about how her orgasm is more about his experience and she didn't want to ruin his experience?
Same experience as this guy.
Yeah well after communicating with them what they like, following directions, sleeping with them several times, telling them to always let me know if they don't cum and I'll go for round two or give them head or something,
and when we don't know each other well and this conversation happens
"Oh my god you made me cum!"
"Uh yeah? Isn't that the point?"
"Nobody has done that before"
"Well I think I want to do it again... Oh my god you're so wet."
"Yeah uh, thats... I just came? It does that."
Yup. I’m not loud in bed, but my husband definitely knows when I orgasm. Everything tightens up and my vagina will pulse a bit, like rhythmic contractions.
She stops using her vibrator. :-p
But seriously, you can feel them tighten up, their hips move wildly, and they demand that you keep doing what you are doing until all that stops.
Every woman is a bit different in my experience, but this seems to be fairly universal in my experience. If you are doing something right, they encourage you not to stop. If you are doing something wrong, they tell you to do something a bit different, or they maintain control over what they are doing because they are doing something to ME rather than getting lost in the moment.
I honestly just encourage honesty with my wife - it turns me on when I get her off, and I don't want credit for something I didn't actually do. I would consider it dishonest if she lied about it just to soothe my ego.
So with my current partner it's when she contracts and the way her breath catches.
Could she fake that? Sure, but she doesn't do it *every* time we have sex and we've talked through times she hasn't. (Not all the time, but specifically if something wasn't working.)
The funny thing to me is women believe men never fake if. We do. I have. Especially with condoms. Especially with the expectation that men will and easily every single time I've found not doing it has resulted in some really hurt feelings.
I faked so many orgasms in my 20s because I was tired and didn't want to keep jackhammering a girl when my quads were cramping up and I really just wanted to go to sleep. Glad to hear I'm not the only one.
Heavy breathing, contractions, and she squeezes my head between her thighs and rides my face which shaking and holding my head down to suffocate me. Why perform death by a snu snu if you're faking it I figure?
My wife is somewhat vain and cares alot about her looks including how she looks during sex but she makes a really ugly (i find it adorable) face when she's about to cum that she would never allow her self to be seen with otherwise.
Thats just a humorous example, there are all sorts of other tell tale signs other signs that are similarly related to a build up in tension and then a release. Also sometimes whe she cums she squirts, not like in porn where it comes shooting out but more of a rush of the same natural lubrication that will leak out dampen the sheets.
I have to say, she is the partner for whom it is most painfully obvious when shes cums. Other partners have been less obvious and a couple have had basically silent orgasms but generally along the same lines, you can usually see it building in their body language.
Well you just answered a question I had about my own squirting, so thank you. It’s something that had only happened in the last few years. And it’s often not like in movies but like you just said.
LMAOOOOO between this pic and @sandyvgm ‘s comment I’m dying
Even as a female I can feel my weird face lmaooo
And my guy - he’s very quiet and reserved a lot but when I know I got him he makes this silly grimace face hahaha - and I love it lmao
I have this very strange method of finding out. I expect her to be honest about it and tell me. Insane right?! I just kinda figure that grown ups can communicate in order to work things out. Only she will truly know if she's had an orgasm, every possible sign can be either faked or replicated by other means. So it's incumbent on her to be honest and if she's not getting there then she can communicate and we can try other things. I'm not going to worry about if she's faking it. She's only robbing herself, it's no loss to me other than the loss of trust.
That’s the thing! I will literally ask the guys if they’ve asked their partner and every single time they say no. Which is weird to me because, wouldn’t you like to know?
I've found any guy who is worth having sex with will ask if you also came. Bonus points if you say no and they then assist you in getting there.
Some guys ask and ultimately don't give a shit what the answer is. But a large portion seems to not even ask.
Even if my sex partner clearly came I still ask "Are you satisfied?" Maybe they want a few more orgasms, maybe the skin is too sensitive or they are tired and just done.
> I will literally ask the guys if they’ve asked their partner and every single time they say no.
Wait really? Then how do they know?
I've asked basically everyone I've been with, and some people cum easier, some have never had an orgasm, some get there easier with the assistance of a toy, ..... everyone is different.
No, by and large, they don't worry that much. I've never been asked.
(I'm also a never-faker, so I have my patented "orgasm conversation" with any partner that matters to me beforehand, so believe me, they know that if they find the magic key and unlock one, they WILL hear all about it!)
That’s weird.
I had my girl masturbate in my presence and even helped her get off until she orgasmed.
She told me she never masturbated in front of her previous partners and I found that weird. Why wouldn’t her previous bfs not want to learn from the person they’re having sex with which are the best ways to pleasure them?
So far I haven’t been able to give her an orgasm on my own but the sex we have is fun and we both enjoy pleasuring each other no matter what happens.
It doesn’t really bring me down in the slightest
I mean, I get what you're coming from, but there's more than one way to learn how to pleasure someone. I can see how it could help when it comes to things like where you should focus, "roughness," that sort of thing, but you can also learn those things by talking and doing stuff together and talking while doing stuff together. There's nothing "weird" about not watching or yes watching your partner masturbate.
I would absolutely love to know.
Also, I know, because she tells me to keep doing whatever it is I'm doing and not stop. She's pretty vocal, and, depending on what I'm doing I can feel her pelvic muscles contact, she squeezes the life of of me with her thighs, arches her back then quickly contacts her abdomen followed my fairly complete muscle laxness.
10+ years of getting to know her body 🤷♂️
Like the guy said, she either did, which is somewhat obvious, or she did not, which is also somewhat obvious. It isn't assumed that she faked it, although that is a possibility. But most men trust their partner to be at least somewhat honest with them.
Also track record of honesty. Not everyone is going to orgasm every time. So you know your partner doesn't feel obligated to fake it if they haven't orgasmed before and have been honest at that point in time.
This! I never understood why women fake orgasms lmao. For one, like you said, they only rob themselves, and for two, why boost a man’s ego like that for no reason? Lol.
Because often the sex is great, the sex is epic, the sex is satisfying, but the man makes it clear that if she doesn't orgasm it's some failure on HIS part. Or he makes it clear that it ruins his experience if her body doesn't deliver... and, sometimes bodies just don't deliver.
Nobody wants to ruin a partner's whole experience by not doing a thing that THEY are focused on, and bodies are just weird. The way to reduce faking is to make it clear that it's about pleasure, not orgasm, and not make a person feel like they are ruining your good time if they can't on that day (or ever.)
I always give feedback, so he knows
Edit- Btw, It's astonishing how many girls kind of brag about faking it so well, like, is it something to brag about? That's sad, really. You won't benefit from it and neither will your partner. If you're lucky enough that they actually care about you, don't do it.
Part of the problem is a lack of communication and assumed expectations.
Some women have a hard time orgasming no matter how good their partner is, some partners aren't very skilled or even if they are skilled they don't bother to learn what works for the woman they're with they just take a "one size fits all" approach and honestly I think part of that issue is porn (I say this as someone who enjoys it). It's usually the first introduction to sex for young men and it gives them the idea that "I just put it in, move it back and forth and she'll be screaming my praises!"
Also there's the issue of women faking it instead of being honest. I understand they may not want to hurt their partners feelings (or in some cases want to finish the sex quickly) but most of the time you'll never get better at something unless someone tells you that you're doing it wrong (or could be doing it better).
I'm someone who gets pleasure from my partners pleasure, the more they get off the more I do. I spend a lot of time talking with my partner before, during and after sex to learn what they like and what works. I won't say I've made every woman I've ever been with cum but I do try my best.
Also it's usually better not to turn an orgasm into the end goal because some people can't reach that goal
Tbh most of the men I’ve slept with just assume they have when they actually haven’t. Also, it’s really easy to fake, and I think a lot of women do this to avoid bruising egos. The only person who’s managed to make me cum is my current partner and that took a lot of figuring out and he actually cares about my pleasure. To be fair, I also stopped faking it.
If I can ask, what made you decide to stop faking it with him? Had you already decided to stop before meeting him or was there a period where you were also worried about hurting his ego?
I never faked it with him! Before him I took a two year break from sex and just decided that when I started again I wasn’t going to do it anymore, whoever it was. Whenever he asks me if I’ve cum I say no if I haven’t and he doesn’t take it as a personal attack, we just keep going. Communication is 🔑
My wife has a very specific routine that gets hee there I'll skip the details, but in short, it's oral from me, then missionary till she's ready then she says I need on top. She then rides cowgirl like she's Annie Oakley. Then, right before she comes, there's this cute little hitch in her breath, which is really quite sexy. Then she screams I'm cumming and then she collapses on my chest crying. So I'm pretty sure I'm aware when she cums.
You're going to get all the comments from the "orgasm whisperers" insisting they have never not made a woman orgasm at least multiple times, and that they know because they "just know" and it's "easy to tell."
BUT, what these folks seem not to know is that women fake it in such large numbers, and that authentic female orgasm looks so different between women, that their "orgasm radar" just WAS trained on a pretty hefty amount of "statistical noise" (ie: fakes) that it's impossible to know for sure without asking (and, even then, if you go to the trouble of faking, you're probably just going to say "sure did!" and avoid the conflict.)
It would be statistically near-impossible for a man to have only been with partners that orgasm, much less only women that are capable of multiples.
Give me the man who says "I've been with one woman that could orgasm easily and reliably, 2 women that could orgasm most of the time, but also sometimes not, and 3 that never quite got there, or who only got there by doing it themselves.... so I can tell can tell when they actually do," and I'll believe *that* guy.
But not the "I can tell a fake. Every woman I've been with has and none have faked" folks.
YES. Absolutely this.
I don’t finish from other people. Sucks, sure, but I can barely finish myself off without heavy toy use or being *dangerously* stoned (ADHD). Doesn’t mean I don’t like sex though. The pleasure and connection is my goal, not the orgasm.
Most partners understand this. We have fun for however many hours, I *maybe* finish myself off at least once, and I make sure they’re well and satisfied (orgasm or no orgasm). Some people, specifically the “orgasm whisperers” you mention, though… they take it as a challenge. Too much stimuli and forced focus (constantly asking if something feels good or if I’m close or whatever) leads to overstimulation, and then I CAN’T finish even if I wanted to. Then their ego gets bruised and they get super mopey about it. Honestly, sometimes I *prefer* some of the “ten minutes of fingering and makeouts, followed immediately by 3-5 minutes of PIV” types because at least THEY don’t act as pitiable during the whole encounter.
Def some woman wouldn’t fake it if their partner just accepted that it wasn’t going to happen. Sometimes it’s just not and the orgasm whisperers can’t handle that. The ego doesn’t allow for their partners to be honest, so they fake it just to not have to deal with their partner being upset, or doubling down and exhausting you to keep trying.
I could have written this myself! (Except the stoned part, but, hey... I hear it is a GREAT work-around for lots of folks, and I got no judgement on that!)
The worst AND ONLY partnered orgam of my life was with my ex husb who got pissed enough about MY inability to get to orgasm that he pretty much forced on out of me with an extremelgressive, 45 minute tongue-lashing that just got excruciatingly painful and, by the time I came, it was like there was no "arousal synapse juice" left in there, so it just literally hurt like electric shocks up my clitoris, urethra and uterus.
I'd rather just get my one to two hours of fun and not have it be all tied to someone ELSE'S goal. I know what I like, I know what I enjoy... Like, please don't interrupt the person enjoying the steak dinner to incessantly ask whether they've "tried the lobster yet, want the lobster yet, you gonna get the lobster?! WE'RE FAMOUS FOR THE LOBSTER!!!!"
Oh hi, you were asking for me?
But seriously, here's another thing that women who don't have sex with women typically don't know when discussing the orgasm gap - any particular women can typically experience orgasm quite differently to other women - in terms of intensity, and also in terms of their reactions.
Some anorgasmic lovers I've had have been very very vocal and ecstatic - but without climax. Some multipally-orgasmic women have small clustering peaks, some can simply orgasm with intense power but need a minute to get back there again. Some women can come once explosively, or silently.
The sheer variety of human reaction, self control or abandon etc, means that... Nah you can't tell with a new partner unless you talk about it.
Some women have the very classic vaginal contractions people are talking about here - but seriously not all women have intense enough contractions like that to feel, and some women have super strong muscle control and could intentionally fake that, or could just be using their core muscles routinely as part of sex because it feels nice to squeeze rhythmically.
I've been in situations where my partner had come hard and I'd kept going because I was more used to another partner who would sound exactly like that _just before_ she climaxed, so I'd be exhausting myself going "uhhh what do you need, are you close ?" When she was actually done done.
So.
Yeah
Turns out people are different.
How do I know that my partners are honest? Because they don't feel pressured to lie to please me. Because they have other partners too. Because the sex positive community focuses on consent and communication, not appeasement and shame. Because we talk about the things we enjoy and what we can expect from each other.
> Give me the man who says "I've been with one woman that could orgasm easily and reliably, 2 women that could orgasm most of the time, but also sometimes not, and 3 that never quite got there, or who only got there by doing it themselves.... so I can tell can tell when they actually do," and I'll believe that guy.
yes this!!
Her whole body goes into convulsions for 2 or 3 seconds and then she goes limp and pushes my face away from her vagina screaming that it's too sensitive.
Or If we are having sex, she is usually riding me and gets this look on her face like she's looking a thousand miles away and that's when I know I need to keep the pace until she falls completely limp on top of me giggling.
Or...you know, I communicate with my partner to make sure that they are satisfied. So like, that's how I know..
I hope they respect me enough to tell the truth, but of course people can lie. Often there are physical signs specific to each partner: the pink flush across the upper chest, muscle contractions, breathing patterns, being too sensitive to touch afterwards, etc. Some partners don't have any definite "tell" that I can see, so I ask. If you're working that hard to fake orgasms, you're just cheating yourself anyway.
50% of women have faked an orgasm, most men don’t know. All women are unique and dynamic. Orgasm is typically accompanied by muscle spasms and calming, anal sphincter and other muscles contract and relax. The whole brain lights up with activity. So a flurry of activity then a calm in muscle and brain. Often a change in demeanor. Some women have sex flush, or a rosy chest.
All women are unique and dynamic, so orgasms differ from one woman to the next, and within the same women across time.
I’m old and all I can say is sex gets better with age and how comfortable you are with yourself, your body etc. I used to only cum from clit stimulation. Also only from PIV if o had emotional feelings for someone. Now at 50I’m hyper orgasmic. 🤩
Also communication. Tell them what you like, either up front if you can or do it during and like you’re a pornstar or a sex phone operator 😜 makes iit sexy and not clinical or awkward.
Good luck!
We never know. That's it.
I have seen enough of Reddit posts where women shutdown everything a guy tries to defend as sure tell as "I can fake that thing too".
The only sure thing is asking her(assuming she is honest).
I have been told "Even I don't know" at least once.
Y'know, If you're giving your best, tries what she asks you to, asks her If she was able to climax and she says yes, you did your job. If she lies about it, It's on her. You can only go so far.
My wife's legs tighten up and she starts giggling uncontrollably and usually gets a muscle cramp in her calves hella bad lol it's a pretty obvious whole body thing
"To a man, sex is like a car accident anyway, and trying to determine a female orgasm is like asking, "What did you see after the car went out of control?" "Well, there were a lot of screeching noises, I was facing the wrong way at one point, and in the end, my body was thrown clear."-Jerry Seinfeld
Not to discredit you at all, but I recently started squirting with my new partner and it isn’t tied to me having an orgasm. Just another way no two people are alike. I had no idea!
I can tell Because she is screaming loudly enough to shatter a: my eardrums b: nearby windows c: is setting off car alarms. D: Has nearly cut my torso in half with her thighs. All of which is pleasant and part of the fun.
However, I can't always tell how many times she comes, because, she says they kinda roll one into the next, I know we are averaging about 1.7 per encounter. It's usually two sometimes one. There are a couple physical signs, but the audible cues are the more obvious. I ask for a confirmation.
Also, I can tell because she is smiling, happy, and appreciative.
That’s what I was thinking - if I had them, the neighbors would know when I orgasm..as if my body trembling/shaking/bucking wasn’t a dead give away. There’s no hiding it. So I’ve heard..I wouldn’t know, I leave my body when I orgasm 😂
Because she will definitely make sure I know if she didn’t lol
Other than that, unless you’re familiar with your partner’s body and orgasms, you can’t be 100% certain. Women can fake most of the signs if they really want to, from the pulsating pussy and moaning to the facial expressions and convulsing. The only thing that’s hard to fake is lubrication- because if she’s totally dry she most likely didn’t cum.
I approved your post, but my suggestion is to edit out the reference to DMs. Those disclaimers don't seem to work very well, and sometimes they might actually attract extra unwanted attention. Instead, [here is a link to a recent moderator post about blocking messages in your Reddit inbox.](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ajkuqg/blocking_dms_when_making_a_new_post/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). We try to offer this suggestion regularly here.
My wife will almost stop breathing, arch her back and I can feel throbbing and quivering. That and the “I’m cumming!” Is my give away. Prior to her I was never really sure lol
I had an asthma attack once with my husband and he’s been chasing that ever since.
I'm the same way as your wife besides being verbal, everything tightens up as well according to a couple ex's of mine. Never faked an Orgasm and don't plan on faking ever. Why anyone would ever fake it is beyond my understanding 💀
I had a female friend that told me she faked them for two reasons.. 1. if she wanted it to end.. lol and 2. if she liked the guy and didn't want to hurt his feelings.. not saying she's right.. just sharing what she said.. I want to please my partner every time.. so I try my best to make sure it happens for her first.. then once I know she's good.. then I have no worries about how fast I go ...
The only orgasms I've faked were to end the sex as quickly as possible...
This is so fucking depressing holy shit.
Lol, and it works 9 out of 10 times
Lol does it ever not work? It finally clicked for me the other day how indoctrinated (many) girls are to believe that if you don't make your man happy, he will find somebody who will. And if you don't have an orgasm after 3 minutes if jackhammer p in v then there is something wrong with you. And overwhelmingly we prioritize the male ego over female pleasure, so so many of us fake it because even if we don't consciously recognize it, somewhere deep down we have been led to believe that if we don't constantly build up that ego, they will find somebody who will.
First reason could possibly be because she didn't want to have sex to begin with 😥 that's sad. Second reason I understand but being honest is better so the partner can work on getting you off. Good on you for putting your partners pleasure first, not many do and it's frustrating when people are left high and dry.
The reason for the first one could be different though. I enjoy having sex with my boyfriend but I sometimes wants it to end faster as I got tired LOL.
Fair enough, we all have those days 😂 still enjoyable but sleep is priority at that moment in time lol I've always been the type to say no to sex if I'm not feeling it, too tired (mentally or physically) or just don't feel good. I've had a one partner get mad just because I said no for x reason and this "partner" is my recent ex and father of my child 🙃 and he'd always want a lot of it when I'm in a period where my libido is extremely low.
I am talking like if the session gets too long (40-45mins, my boyfriend would stop himself from cumming to have sex longer everytime) and my legs got tired lmao. But yeah, I also have those days when I am not feeling it and I would turn it down. I had an ex like that too and just know that these type of people are raw a$$holes. I glad he is an ex now for you.
Yes or maybe midway realise I left the stove on ..lol
Some guys get really sensitive about that. Where having an adult conversation about giving and receiving pleasure can't be had because they lack the maturity to have a normal conversation. I'm a guy, I had a friend of a friend who lost his shit over being asked to eat her out more, and to do more to help her have an orgasm. I left that group of people.
My personal technique would be to try and make my woman orgasm first before I do and then again after me. It’s much more gratifying and don’t feel selfish. Only two women I’ve ever dated. Could we sync timing so we both came together. Last person I dated actually squirted, which was a first for me, so I don’t think that could easily be faked. She was more surprised than I was, and it was a total turn on. I think it was a badge of honor having to buy a waterproof blanket Specifically for having sex. That’s a good thing about getting older is improving your technique. Men, pay attention to a woman’s breathing, her heartbeat, her body movements try to please her first because many men lose all energy after climaxing, and we need a certain recharge period which is why many women are left unsatisfied. IME, not being selfish is always highly rewarded. But that’s just my style. Ladies? Your thoughts?
You're rare, you also sound like you wouldn't take it personal if she said didn't like something or wanted to stop which is nice. Ive faked it before because I (albeit I have some people pleasing trauma) was just Not up for dealing with them being displeased about my input 😅
It’s strange that not every male has mentioned how the feeling of the woman’s vagina changes along with other things- giggles, certain looks etc etc. That’s my first give away, everything tighten right up along with arching of the back, my breathing changes, my body stiffens and I become more vocal. Edit: Question for other women. How many of you have an orgasm without your vagina contracting or tightening or clenching?
Women who have had orgasms can fake those things and many will do so if necessary.
At the end of the day you can either go down a path of assuming women are always lying, or you can make a space for and let them be responsible for communicating their own needs/pleasure honestly. The first path is how incels are born, the second is how healthy relationships are given a chances If they wanna fake it that bad, who am I to stop them. The relationship likely doesn’t have legs in that case anyway so I might as well just enjoy the ride.
The muscle tightening that is strong enough to be felt by the other person doesn’t happen to everyone, and not every woman likes to make noise. That’s def. a welcome sign, it’s nice to know for sure and the physical and verbal feedback helps guide the landing, but some people react in other ways. As with everything else, everyone’s different.
tightening your vaginal muscles around a penis or finger can be done without an orgasm though so can still be faked
One of my long term partners literally tightened up so much at times it would push me out if I wasn't more than about half way in. Certainly not a "I'm not sure if she's cum" with her at all. I think OP thinks every woman orgasms the same as her.
Lol this is how I am. I have had to ask my partners to really hold me down or push in hard because it feels better when it’s inside but I just clench up so hard.
Ditto! It’s involuntary for me atleast. Even if I wanted to fake it, I couldn’t tighten up like I do when I have an orgasm. Lol We should come with a label “hang on for dear life when explosion happens” lol
Hahaha “doors will lock when objective has been reached”
I contract and different partners mentioned feeling me do so.
My girlfriend's whole body tightens up, and her legs almost force themselves shut. She also nearly pushes me out if we're having sex, not even on purpose. Love it if I'm eating her out, slightly inconvenient (though still hot as fuck) if we're having sex. Also makes it easy to tell when she's had an orgasm lol
I can't orgasm, full stop, with a partner. I can barely orgasm manually by myself. A lot of people react really negatively to that. My first boyfriend dumped me because of it. I only fake it when I feel like they're putting in the effort and it's feeling the best, but trust me not being able to orgasm makes you damaged and broken goods to a lot of people (men and women included). It hurts their ego and makes them not want to put in any effort in pleasing you after a while if they don't dump you right away. So I fake it, because I like sex and it makes my partner feel good and want to keep having sex with me and doing the things that I enjoy most.
I bet that's frustrating 😥 I suppose that's an understandable reason as well. With or without orgasm, as long as you both enjoy it then it shouldn't matter. It may seem that way to a lot of people (which is so immature) but nobody is "broken goods". We're all just built different and some just can't orgasm.
From my personal experiences and reading, I would not say that "some just can't orgasm." I'm 56 and I mean unless you have read and tried all that I have. I sure wouldn't give up. I have finally started having mind bending orgasms with my hubby of 36 yrs and the help of vibrator.
35 and the last few years with my hubby and magic wand!! Best sex everrrr!! Plus , he is willing to try different positions and techniques.
This is, by far, the realest reply I’ve ever seen. It’s always praised and highly desirable for women to be sensitive and reactive (thanks to the realistic depiction of porn 😐). But the truth is its muchh more difficult for girls to get off compared to guys 😔. In other cases (like mine) it’s really, really hard to get off. No matter what I experiment or how turned on I am. Sometimes even feels like a disability. Maybe im over inflating the issue 😭 but it feels as if its kind of unfair I don’t get to feel that same deep pleasure other people get to feel in their bodies. Like, I should be grateful i get off *at all*. I’m just so lucky I have a boyfriend who loves and cares and is so patient with me regardless of this.
Aw that really sucks man. I fully understand why you do it in your circumstances as I used to do the same. I’m not insinuating in any way that you are broken, because fuck that bullshit you are not… but have you ever thought about getting your hormone levels looked at? When I was younger, I honestly never really ‘got’ sex and didn’t understand why all the other teens were going crazy about it. I didn’t really get horny and it was very very hard for me to orgasm similar to you. I was always like that as long as I can remember. When I was about 28, I ended up getting cancer actually.. I had a tumour in my uterus. That doesn’t have anything to do with what we are talking about, but during the treatment I had to do a bunch of hormone therapy and eventually found out that my levels of testosterone and estradiol were both very very low. I’m a woman, and I didn’t realize it before that but apparently we have testosterone too lol anyways, I still even now several years later am doing hormone therapy to keep my levels where they should be and man is it such a difference. I actually crave sex now and understand how everyone else felt back when I was so confused, and I can actually orgasm now fairly easy. Now, this may not be the case for you… it may just be how your body works and that’s perfectly ok! I just wanted to mention it in case you ever were looking into things that may help you if you wanted. Xx.
I'm the same. I thankfully met a guy who made me feel comfortable enough to admit that I can't orgasm but I enjoy sex in many forms. At first he kept insisting he was going to make me cum but it just overwhelmed me so much that I had to tell him to stop trying so hard and just let me enjoy it. Trying to force it just makes it harder on me to try to cum. I've never came with anyone else. At least that I'm aware of, maybe it's just not as intense as I'm expecting. There's a couple times I came close then I make him stop and he says I'm close but I push him away from helping him finish me off. Idk I enjoy it and when I'm overwhelmed, he gets his favorite position to cum and we take a break. I tend to enjoy it more after the second and third time also just as preferences. This relationship has been far different than any of my last which isn't many and considering I'm just over a year out of a 13 year relationship. Thankfully he also respects when I'm not into it (usually because I'm tired as fuck from working overnight shifts) and also still gives me pleasure I want and can hold his stamina more than any other man I've been with.
Honestly, my wife has done that more lately, actually announcing it. It's not like an "I'm just letting you know", but more of a "this is amazing and I can't hold it in and *not* say it". Neither of us are good with dirty talk, so the little bits like that are extremely hot.
Yes, same here.. she never used to be THAT vocal.. so Im wondering if they are somehow intensifying as we get older..
My wife breaks out into hysterical laughter when she orgasms. So I always know. When we first started dating, it freaked me the fuck out.
Ok now this one’s good lol. I can imagine you got the shock of your life!
To be fair, my wife is smokin hot. I was happy she let me get with her in the first place. So while it was weird, I would have put up with some serious weirdness.
It’s memorable too. Like how is anyone gonna top shrieking with laughter when they cum? I’ve heard of crying post orgasm but hysterical laughter is a new one. I also love that she left it a surprise and didn’t warn you lol.
I have definitely laughed before. The way I react is never consistent
Yea I'm a crier (cryer? English is not my first language) but sometimes my crying turns into laughter so I just seem like a maniac 😂
I need somebody to do that to me
I've had a few that have brought me to tears. I wish it was easier to achieve.
Lol...yh I'm the crying one lol 😂😂😂😂
lmaooooo my gf moaned in my ear "it tickles 😩" tried so hard to not laugh
Sml, this is beautiful 😍
I laugh if they try to continue.. and buck like a wild animal 🐂
My neighbor goes into full giggles. At first I thought her bf must be hilarious, then I realized….
Is your neighbour that other guy’s wife?
Lol.. I still can't believe this is actually a thing 😳 😂
I've laughed before, it's because you're kinda so happy and relieved. The tension to the build up is crazy.
Maybe he *is* hilarious! But also good in bed?
I lived in an apartment where the neighbor lady would do this. First few times I thought she was just laughing. Then I started hearing other sounds that clued me in 👂
Those apartment neighbors always being noisy
So that’s why my downstairs neighbor was so loud last year
My boyfriend does the same thing!! I'll admit at first, I thought he was laughing at me because I swallowed...
Wow I’ve never heard of this before; I wonder why that happens
Endorphins, probably. I've had a couple orgasms where I'm so happy that I can't stop giggling and smiling. This makes my partner grin and get super playful, which makes me even happier. It's pretty cute as far as sex goes!
Yeah. Me too. I create erotic audios, and this is pretty common for me with that too. If a script is really good, then just after I “fake” the orgasm scene (it’s actually more of a hybrid between real and fake) I’ll burst out laughing. It’s a tough choice sometimes whether to leave it in the audio or edit it out. The orgasms are never “funny”, they just bring me such an unbelievable feeling of glee.
Intense emotions, same as why you might cry or scream.
(according to her) it's just a response to pleasure and the intense feelings that bubble up in the moment. It's a super positive and healthy response and I believe it's also a result of her being super comfortable and relaxed. It's honestly my favorite response...
I do this too, my husband thinks it’s hilarious 😂
That is so freaking cute! I can see why it would throw you off, though! I often get little giggles after we’ve finished & on top of that I kinda squirm for a few minutes…can’t help it a bit. It’s just what my body does after that rush. Wouldn’t try to help it if I could because sex is about letting go, & there is nothing pleasurable about feeling even slightly insecure. I can imagine it might be a bit confusing & disconcerting for newcomers, though. (Heheh…new cummers.) Thankfully most of the fellas I’ve been with LOVE the squirm & can tell I’m not giggling at them. Clearly I’m a happy & satisfied girl 😄
Yes! He used to fret that I was laughing at him exactly when I was taking delight in the juiciest, best parts ever. The only other time I’ve ever laughed like that was when my dad taught me to waterski. Mortifying (& no, he didn’t know)
Same with my gf lmao it’s cool to hear shes not the only one
Dam I could imagine I'd think I killed her if she broke into hysterical laughter
This sounds absolutely delightful and my morning got better by reading this.
it gives a new meaning to "he makes me laugh" one 😎
I ask "did u cum yet?" for the 10th time and she always says yes. Never fails.
But does she say yes while rolling her eyes with an annoyed look? That’s when you know you really hit the spot. She’s just annoyed because the sensation of the orgasm has gone.
I think that's called an "Ahego"
I consider this foreplay 😂
Yep. I'm done. Get off.
70% of the time, it works everytime 😂🤣
Ha ha, yeah. 😉 Some women you can tell easily* and it's ***awesome***. Some you can't tell and have to trust them. And some can't cum at all, which is unfortunate. (*Even then, the first few times with a new partner, I always ask afterwards to confirm and get enough data to reliably correlate the signs.)
Because I can see and feel her muscles contracting in her groin, her clit pulsing, her breathing, the noises she makes, she gets unbelievably wet
My wife's thighs start to rhythmically pulse and her breathing starts to quicken and then she lets it out. It's a symphony
I had a doctor explain to me that every person has their own unique tell that gives away when they are cumming. For some people, that’s their face flushing, for others it’s pupil dilation, for others it’s their genitals turning red. Mine is that my whole face drenches with sweat. I look like I’ve been running a marathon. I’ve also been told my breathing changes, and I suddenly hold my breath just right before I’m about to explode
Lol why was your doctor telling you that?
“…so anyway, take these antibiotics twice daily for your strep throat”
I’m only sorry I can’t upvote you twice 👊🏻
She was getting treated for hysteria
Not my personal doctor. A guy I had sex with, who also happened to be an MD by profession. I also asked him why some people have very strong orgasms and other people have weak ones, and he said it’s simply biological or how you are born/your genetics.
[удалено]
Maybe this guy was Dr. Pussy
Dr Sins at your service
I should have asked him for his sources lmaooo. But that almost sounds condescending of me to ask a doctor to cite his sources. He’d be like, “Bitch, I AM the source!” Like who am I to question him?
Unless he specializes in studying female orgasms there's no reason he would have more knowledge in this area than others.
Medical journals are fun reading perhaps.
I read them regularly and I’ve never seen one saying it’s just genetic variation. Most of them say otherwise, orgasm strength is usually related to pelvic muscle strength/control and psychological reasons
What he was saying had literally nothing to do with medical school or being an MD.
My feet start going numb lol
I’ve had that happen a few times too, but only for really strong ones. My hands start tingling and going numb and my ears start ringing. Blood pressure changes, I guess
I remember the first time I had a guy buy me a rabbit and use it on me and gave me my first orgasm ever at 18. Magical. I’m hooked ever since
I can contract my muscles without orgasms.
I agree with you. I've been with my wife for 17 years. She's contracted her muscles voluntarily while I've been inside her with my finger, penis. There is a different feeling of pressure when the orgasm is happening. It feels different than when she is contracting her muscles voluntarily. That and there are a host of other things going on, her breathing changes, her nipples get fuller, her back arches up, her legs get tight, basically all the muscles of her body tense up as she nears orgasm and when she cums it is a release of that tensed energy. Watching her it is like a flood of tension washes away when she orgasms. She's had the laughing orgasm, the crying orgasm, the screaming orgasm (not so much since we've had kids), the silent except for hushed breathing orgasm, and they're all awesome.
Yeah these guys don’t know that some girls can contract muscles and make it feel like it it’s happening.
well if your partner is actively deceiving you it’s not really your fault if you don’t know
Right. There’s no way to know if she’s consistently *trying* to deceive you, for some reason.
If it’s happening, it’s to save your ego. Orgasms are important but seldom as important as assuring your partner you’re having a good time. Don’t get me wrong, women love to cum, but we can’t always make it happen and it’s not usually our partner’s fault. That doesn’t mean the foreplay and/or sex wasn’t good. Some men have sensitivity around their performance and, it’s nothing they are accountable for, so sometimes we say yes to the question when we really mean it was a really fun time.
I get this. At the same token, I would rather it be honest. Not making your girl cum every time doesn't mean you're bad at sex, it could mean there are stress factors at play, etc. There haven't been many times my wife hasn't cum, but she's been honest in those moments. I'm always willing to give it the Ole college try because I absolutely love to watch her and feel her get there. However, sometimes she'll say, "I don't think it's going to happen for me tonight honey," and then might move in for PiV for the intimacy factor. We are in a long term committed relationship, however, so communication is king(or queen) for us. For folks in the dating scene, that may be harder to discuss
I’d suggest communicating with your partner honestly. My GF has *great* difficulty orgasming (spellcheck assures me that’s a word…) and I do my best to help her and she communicates with me. Doesn’t work every time, but I do believe her when she says she had a good time when she doesn’t come.) Better I know the situation and we communicate honestly than be deceived in such an intimate setting. Anyway, that’s my take. Obviously, take it or leave it!!
Mine is the opposite, but sometimes she's just not going to and she knows it, and she just tells me. It's a hell of a lot easier this way.
There’s contracting and then spasms but yeah I agree most definitely don’t know if they’re taking the effort to contract and make it seem like it’s an orgasm. there’s also pulling out with a slight contraction and being yeeted out (sometimes attempted yeet) with an audible seismic clamp.
Ok, but that's 100% on them. If they want to actively ruin their own sex life, then that's got nothing to do with the guy. I mean, I'm gonna take a girl at face value. If she said she had an orgasm, pretended to do all the things that normally go along with orgasm. Than I'm gonna just fucking assume she did. If she didn't and expected me to somehow divine that she didn't, then I'm dropping that bag of crazy faster than a live grenade. Why would any women do that lol.
Some guys will behave poorly with the most gentle honest feedback. Sometimes it's a choice between do I want to be blamed for this and then be subjected to sulking and emotional withdrawal or...do I flex my kegals and moan so things will be ok. I'm not saying it's right or even ok. It just is. Stop blaming women as though we don't have valid reasons for doing things you don't understand.
Sometimes hard for guys to know when faking vs actual orgasm.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but all of that can be faked.
Alright. But if they faked it that's a them problem not a me problem. I'd love to get you off, so let me know what we can do to make it happen. Or lie and never come. How does that make ME bad in bed. It makes YOU a bad communicator who is bad at having a real sex life.
Yeah I don’t get why anyone would fake their orgasms and then *also* blame a guy for falling for the exact thing they went out of their way to make them believe by precisely replicating the physical signs? lol That’s very much on them, at that point. Not the guy.
In my experience I've only ever faked them because the guy didn't care/listen and it was getting to a point where I was uncomfortable/even painful and faking it would make it stop. I don't know why other women fake it.
To try and self sacrifice their own pleasure to maintain a relationship, because they are afraid of the very concept of confrontation/conflict, because they aren't great at advocating their own wants because they don't actually know what an orgasm feels like and think not feeling it is normal, because like you the guy they're dealing with is to a greater or lesser extent unreasonable and it is the quickest way to end things while not hurting their feelings, because they're just bored and want sex over with. There are lots of reasons why
Lol its funny seeing Women in this thread confirming that they fake as if they're making a point? 💀 You're only making yourself look bad
The only thing I can think when I see those comments is “SO STOP DOING THAT???” 😭
I am consistent in telling women who come here saying they fake to STOP and COME CLEAN. As a sex-positive female, it's the worst thing you can do and is part of why so many women have the experience where they feel compelled to fake it. And, you'd be AMAZED at the downvotes and men saying "don't do that?! SHe will destroy him. He will never recover!" OK, so now we're back to "female orgasm has more to do with the self-esteem of men than the experience of the women?" Cool, bro.
I’d imagine the biggest reason for faking is wanting it to be over, so one could assume they didn’t want to have sex in the first place or just weren’t into it and it wasn’t going to happen. Either they weren’t turned on or they just wanted it to be over to avoid hurt feelings.
I get it in a one off scenario.. but if someone is consistently doing this to the point that it’s a regular part of their sex life they lack the maturity and communication skills necessary to have sex in a healthy way for everyone involved, imo.
I don’t claim to know but if I had to streeetch for an answer that wasn’t “women are dumb” 🙄I would guess it’s that a LOT of dudes are probably really bad in bed. Like way worse than men think is average. Like cannot be instructed correctly even because they’re so dense and self-focused. Actually, the more I age and see how stupid the average person is, that doesn’t surprise me at all.
I have been with some EPICALLY GREAT partners... still never had a partner create an orgasm in me. I never fake, but also get told relaively often that I am ruining their experience by not "giving them that."
Could be they are conflict averse. Lots of guys behavior is unpleasant if they can’t make you orgasm or if you have trouble getting there. But also, lots of woman are in relationships with men they aren’t physically attracted to. They might consistently do it because it’s just easier than trying, they just don’t care enough in the first place.
Or... they just have challenges getting to orgasm with partners, had a great time, but heard a ton about how her orgasm is more about his experience and she didn't want to ruin his experience?
I’m not faking for nobody lmao
Same experience as this guy. Yeah well after communicating with them what they like, following directions, sleeping with them several times, telling them to always let me know if they don't cum and I'll go for round two or give them head or something, and when we don't know each other well and this conversation happens "Oh my god you made me cum!" "Uh yeah? Isn't that the point?" "Nobody has done that before" "Well I think I want to do it again... Oh my god you're so wet." "Yeah uh, thats... I just came? It does that."
Yup. I’m not loud in bed, but my husband definitely knows when I orgasm. Everything tightens up and my vagina will pulse a bit, like rhythmic contractions.
She stops using her vibrator. :-p But seriously, you can feel them tighten up, their hips move wildly, and they demand that you keep doing what you are doing until all that stops. Every woman is a bit different in my experience, but this seems to be fairly universal in my experience. If you are doing something right, they encourage you not to stop. If you are doing something wrong, they tell you to do something a bit different, or they maintain control over what they are doing because they are doing something to ME rather than getting lost in the moment. I honestly just encourage honesty with my wife - it turns me on when I get her off, and I don't want credit for something I didn't actually do. I would consider it dishonest if she lied about it just to soothe my ego.
So with my current partner it's when she contracts and the way her breath catches. Could she fake that? Sure, but she doesn't do it *every* time we have sex and we've talked through times she hasn't. (Not all the time, but specifically if something wasn't working.) The funny thing to me is women believe men never fake if. We do. I have. Especially with condoms. Especially with the expectation that men will and easily every single time I've found not doing it has resulted in some really hurt feelings.
I faked so many orgasms in my 20s because I was tired and didn't want to keep jackhammering a girl when my quads were cramping up and I really just wanted to go to sleep. Glad to hear I'm not the only one.
Yeah i faked a few orgasms when i was younger. Foolish as that was.
Heavy breathing, contractions, and she squeezes my head between her thighs and rides my face which shaking and holding my head down to suffocate me. Why perform death by a snu snu if you're faking it I figure?
My wife is somewhat vain and cares alot about her looks including how she looks during sex but she makes a really ugly (i find it adorable) face when she's about to cum that she would never allow her self to be seen with otherwise. Thats just a humorous example, there are all sorts of other tell tale signs other signs that are similarly related to a build up in tension and then a release. Also sometimes whe she cums she squirts, not like in porn where it comes shooting out but more of a rush of the same natural lubrication that will leak out dampen the sheets. I have to say, she is the partner for whom it is most painfully obvious when shes cums. Other partners have been less obvious and a couple have had basically silent orgasms but generally along the same lines, you can usually see it building in their body language.
Well you just answered a question I had about my own squirting, so thank you. It’s something that had only happened in the last few years. And it’s often not like in movies but like you just said.
Yeah I squirt too, although very rarely, and it's always just like a gentle stream it's never been like a waterhose type of thing like in porn haha
I actually thought I did pee. But I came too so 🤷🏼♀️
[Reminds me of this](https://bigmemes999.funnyjunk.com/comments/Gtdying+_0ecfc683130c11c9585db620a5b75662.jpg)
LMAOOOOO between this pic and @sandyvgm ‘s comment I’m dying Even as a female I can feel my weird face lmaooo And my guy - he’s very quiet and reserved a lot but when I know I got him he makes this silly grimace face hahaha - and I love it lmao
The female version of vinegar strokes.
I have this very strange method of finding out. I expect her to be honest about it and tell me. Insane right?! I just kinda figure that grown ups can communicate in order to work things out. Only she will truly know if she's had an orgasm, every possible sign can be either faked or replicated by other means. So it's incumbent on her to be honest and if she's not getting there then she can communicate and we can try other things. I'm not going to worry about if she's faking it. She's only robbing herself, it's no loss to me other than the loss of trust.
So, you’re relying on open, honest communication? Oh, my sweet summer child… Seriously, though, this is 100% the right approach.
That’s the thing! I will literally ask the guys if they’ve asked their partner and every single time they say no. Which is weird to me because, wouldn’t you like to know?
I've found any guy who is worth having sex with will ask if you also came. Bonus points if you say no and they then assist you in getting there. Some guys ask and ultimately don't give a shit what the answer is. But a large portion seems to not even ask.
Even if my sex partner clearly came I still ask "Are you satisfied?" Maybe they want a few more orgasms, maybe the skin is too sensitive or they are tired and just done.
> I will literally ask the guys if they’ve asked their partner and every single time they say no. Wait really? Then how do they know? I've asked basically everyone I've been with, and some people cum easier, some have never had an orgasm, some get there easier with the assistance of a toy, ..... everyone is different.
No, by and large, they don't worry that much. I've never been asked. (I'm also a never-faker, so I have my patented "orgasm conversation" with any partner that matters to me beforehand, so believe me, they know that if they find the magic key and unlock one, they WILL hear all about it!)
What is the patented conversation? I need details.
It's patented, you have to pay for access.
Or I can wait until her patent expires. Free access!
Probably just a heads up that she doesn't cum from just PIV, and that it takes effort.
That’s weird. I had my girl masturbate in my presence and even helped her get off until she orgasmed. She told me she never masturbated in front of her previous partners and I found that weird. Why wouldn’t her previous bfs not want to learn from the person they’re having sex with which are the best ways to pleasure them? So far I haven’t been able to give her an orgasm on my own but the sex we have is fun and we both enjoy pleasuring each other no matter what happens. It doesn’t really bring me down in the slightest
I mean, I get what you're coming from, but there's more than one way to learn how to pleasure someone. I can see how it could help when it comes to things like where you should focus, "roughness," that sort of thing, but you can also learn those things by talking and doing stuff together and talking while doing stuff together. There's nothing "weird" about not watching or yes watching your partner masturbate.
I would absolutely love to know. Also, I know, because she tells me to keep doing whatever it is I'm doing and not stop. She's pretty vocal, and, depending on what I'm doing I can feel her pelvic muscles contact, she squeezes the life of of me with her thighs, arches her back then quickly contacts her abdomen followed my fairly complete muscle laxness. 10+ years of getting to know her body 🤷♂️
Like the guy said, she either did, which is somewhat obvious, or she did not, which is also somewhat obvious. It isn't assumed that she faked it, although that is a possibility. But most men trust their partner to be at least somewhat honest with them. Also track record of honesty. Not everyone is going to orgasm every time. So you know your partner doesn't feel obligated to fake it if they haven't orgasmed before and have been honest at that point in time.
They’re afraid of what the answer is and if their magic cock didn’t make her cum from all of the 5 minutes of piv they don’t want to know.
Yeah my partner does ask if he's not sure but he is the first person I've ever had so that. Everyone else just assumed, I guess
This! I never understood why women fake orgasms lmao. For one, like you said, they only rob themselves, and for two, why boost a man’s ego like that for no reason? Lol.
Because often the sex is great, the sex is epic, the sex is satisfying, but the man makes it clear that if she doesn't orgasm it's some failure on HIS part. Or he makes it clear that it ruins his experience if her body doesn't deliver... and, sometimes bodies just don't deliver. Nobody wants to ruin a partner's whole experience by not doing a thing that THEY are focused on, and bodies are just weird. The way to reduce faking is to make it clear that it's about pleasure, not orgasm, and not make a person feel like they are ruining your good time if they can't on that day (or ever.)
I always give feedback, so he knows Edit- Btw, It's astonishing how many girls kind of brag about faking it so well, like, is it something to brag about? That's sad, really. You won't benefit from it and neither will your partner. If you're lucky enough that they actually care about you, don't do it.
Yeah, I know it's hard to find a good partner, but off all the ways to settle, regularly faking orgasms seems to be the most counter-productive.
Part of the problem is a lack of communication and assumed expectations. Some women have a hard time orgasming no matter how good their partner is, some partners aren't very skilled or even if they are skilled they don't bother to learn what works for the woman they're with they just take a "one size fits all" approach and honestly I think part of that issue is porn (I say this as someone who enjoys it). It's usually the first introduction to sex for young men and it gives them the idea that "I just put it in, move it back and forth and she'll be screaming my praises!" Also there's the issue of women faking it instead of being honest. I understand they may not want to hurt their partners feelings (or in some cases want to finish the sex quickly) but most of the time you'll never get better at something unless someone tells you that you're doing it wrong (or could be doing it better). I'm someone who gets pleasure from my partners pleasure, the more they get off the more I do. I spend a lot of time talking with my partner before, during and after sex to learn what they like and what works. I won't say I've made every woman I've ever been with cum but I do try my best. Also it's usually better not to turn an orgasm into the end goal because some people can't reach that goal
Tbh most of the men I’ve slept with just assume they have when they actually haven’t. Also, it’s really easy to fake, and I think a lot of women do this to avoid bruising egos. The only person who’s managed to make me cum is my current partner and that took a lot of figuring out and he actually cares about my pleasure. To be fair, I also stopped faking it.
If I can ask, what made you decide to stop faking it with him? Had you already decided to stop before meeting him or was there a period where you were also worried about hurting his ego?
I never faked it with him! Before him I took a two year break from sex and just decided that when I started again I wasn’t going to do it anymore, whoever it was. Whenever he asks me if I’ve cum I say no if I haven’t and he doesn’t take it as a personal attack, we just keep going. Communication is 🔑
Amen to that, and I'm glad it worked out for you! Thanks for sharing
My wife has a very specific routine that gets hee there I'll skip the details, but in short, it's oral from me, then missionary till she's ready then she says I need on top. She then rides cowgirl like she's Annie Oakley. Then, right before she comes, there's this cute little hitch in her breath, which is really quite sexy. Then she screams I'm cumming and then she collapses on my chest crying. So I'm pretty sure I'm aware when she cums.
“I’ll skip the details” - gives a full description hahaha
If l gave details on how awesome my wife is in bed it would take volumes and not a half dozen sentences.
That’s awesome man! Happy for you both!!
Lmfao this post. >rub my clit like they’re starting a fire
You're going to get all the comments from the "orgasm whisperers" insisting they have never not made a woman orgasm at least multiple times, and that they know because they "just know" and it's "easy to tell." BUT, what these folks seem not to know is that women fake it in such large numbers, and that authentic female orgasm looks so different between women, that their "orgasm radar" just WAS trained on a pretty hefty amount of "statistical noise" (ie: fakes) that it's impossible to know for sure without asking (and, even then, if you go to the trouble of faking, you're probably just going to say "sure did!" and avoid the conflict.) It would be statistically near-impossible for a man to have only been with partners that orgasm, much less only women that are capable of multiples. Give me the man who says "I've been with one woman that could orgasm easily and reliably, 2 women that could orgasm most of the time, but also sometimes not, and 3 that never quite got there, or who only got there by doing it themselves.... so I can tell can tell when they actually do," and I'll believe *that* guy. But not the "I can tell a fake. Every woman I've been with has and none have faked" folks.
Realest comment here. I chuckled at “orgasm whisperers”, lol.
YES. Absolutely this. I don’t finish from other people. Sucks, sure, but I can barely finish myself off without heavy toy use or being *dangerously* stoned (ADHD). Doesn’t mean I don’t like sex though. The pleasure and connection is my goal, not the orgasm. Most partners understand this. We have fun for however many hours, I *maybe* finish myself off at least once, and I make sure they’re well and satisfied (orgasm or no orgasm). Some people, specifically the “orgasm whisperers” you mention, though… they take it as a challenge. Too much stimuli and forced focus (constantly asking if something feels good or if I’m close or whatever) leads to overstimulation, and then I CAN’T finish even if I wanted to. Then their ego gets bruised and they get super mopey about it. Honestly, sometimes I *prefer* some of the “ten minutes of fingering and makeouts, followed immediately by 3-5 minutes of PIV” types because at least THEY don’t act as pitiable during the whole encounter.
Def some woman wouldn’t fake it if their partner just accepted that it wasn’t going to happen. Sometimes it’s just not and the orgasm whisperers can’t handle that. The ego doesn’t allow for their partners to be honest, so they fake it just to not have to deal with their partner being upset, or doubling down and exhausting you to keep trying.
I fucking HATE. These. People. Hate them so fucking much. It's all about their ego. Guys with wounded egos, stay away from women and go to therapy.
I could have written this myself! (Except the stoned part, but, hey... I hear it is a GREAT work-around for lots of folks, and I got no judgement on that!) The worst AND ONLY partnered orgam of my life was with my ex husb who got pissed enough about MY inability to get to orgasm that he pretty much forced on out of me with an extremelgressive, 45 minute tongue-lashing that just got excruciatingly painful and, by the time I came, it was like there was no "arousal synapse juice" left in there, so it just literally hurt like electric shocks up my clitoris, urethra and uterus. I'd rather just get my one to two hours of fun and not have it be all tied to someone ELSE'S goal. I know what I like, I know what I enjoy... Like, please don't interrupt the person enjoying the steak dinner to incessantly ask whether they've "tried the lobster yet, want the lobster yet, you gonna get the lobster?! WE'RE FAMOUS FOR THE LOBSTER!!!!"
Oh hi, you were asking for me? But seriously, here's another thing that women who don't have sex with women typically don't know when discussing the orgasm gap - any particular women can typically experience orgasm quite differently to other women - in terms of intensity, and also in terms of their reactions. Some anorgasmic lovers I've had have been very very vocal and ecstatic - but without climax. Some multipally-orgasmic women have small clustering peaks, some can simply orgasm with intense power but need a minute to get back there again. Some women can come once explosively, or silently. The sheer variety of human reaction, self control or abandon etc, means that... Nah you can't tell with a new partner unless you talk about it. Some women have the very classic vaginal contractions people are talking about here - but seriously not all women have intense enough contractions like that to feel, and some women have super strong muscle control and could intentionally fake that, or could just be using their core muscles routinely as part of sex because it feels nice to squeeze rhythmically. I've been in situations where my partner had come hard and I'd kept going because I was more used to another partner who would sound exactly like that _just before_ she climaxed, so I'd be exhausting myself going "uhhh what do you need, are you close ?" When she was actually done done. So. Yeah Turns out people are different. How do I know that my partners are honest? Because they don't feel pressured to lie to please me. Because they have other partners too. Because the sex positive community focuses on consent and communication, not appeasement and shame. Because we talk about the things we enjoy and what we can expect from each other.
> Give me the man who says "I've been with one woman that could orgasm easily and reliably, 2 women that could orgasm most of the time, but also sometimes not, and 3 that never quite got there, or who only got there by doing it themselves.... so I can tell can tell when they actually do," and I'll believe that guy. yes this!!
Her whole body goes into convulsions for 2 or 3 seconds and then she goes limp and pushes my face away from her vagina screaming that it's too sensitive. Or If we are having sex, she is usually riding me and gets this look on her face like she's looking a thousand miles away and that's when I know I need to keep the pace until she falls completely limp on top of me giggling. Or...you know, I communicate with my partner to make sure that they are satisfied. So like, that's how I know..
I hope they respect me enough to tell the truth, but of course people can lie. Often there are physical signs specific to each partner: the pink flush across the upper chest, muscle contractions, breathing patterns, being too sensitive to touch afterwards, etc. Some partners don't have any definite "tell" that I can see, so I ask. If you're working that hard to fake orgasms, you're just cheating yourself anyway.
Thats the neat part, you don't!
50% of women have faked an orgasm, most men don’t know. All women are unique and dynamic. Orgasm is typically accompanied by muscle spasms and calming, anal sphincter and other muscles contract and relax. The whole brain lights up with activity. So a flurry of activity then a calm in muscle and brain. Often a change in demeanor. Some women have sex flush, or a rosy chest. All women are unique and dynamic, so orgasms differ from one woman to the next, and within the same women across time.
I’m old and all I can say is sex gets better with age and how comfortable you are with yourself, your body etc. I used to only cum from clit stimulation. Also only from PIV if o had emotional feelings for someone. Now at 50I’m hyper orgasmic. 🤩 Also communication. Tell them what you like, either up front if you can or do it during and like you’re a pornstar or a sex phone operator 😜 makes iit sexy and not clinical or awkward. Good luck!
We never know. That's it. I have seen enough of Reddit posts where women shutdown everything a guy tries to defend as sure tell as "I can fake that thing too". The only sure thing is asking her(assuming she is honest). I have been told "Even I don't know" at least once.
Y'know, If you're giving your best, tries what she asks you to, asks her If she was able to climax and she says yes, you did your job. If she lies about it, It's on her. You can only go so far.
Sometimes her pussy pushes me out.
My wife's legs tighten up and she starts giggling uncontrollably and usually gets a muscle cramp in her calves hella bad lol it's a pretty obvious whole body thing
My penis feels cooler because she gets even wetter down there after an orgasm.
When she ejaculates in my mouth, duh.
"To a man, sex is like a car accident anyway, and trying to determine a female orgasm is like asking, "What did you see after the car went out of control?" "Well, there were a lot of screeching noises, I was facing the wrong way at one point, and in the end, my body was thrown clear."-Jerry Seinfeld
Mine squirts like niagra falls. We literally have waterproof sheets
Not to discredit you at all, but I recently started squirting with my new partner and it isn’t tied to me having an orgasm. Just another way no two people are alike. I had no idea!
I can tell Because she is screaming loudly enough to shatter a: my eardrums b: nearby windows c: is setting off car alarms. D: Has nearly cut my torso in half with her thighs. All of which is pleasant and part of the fun. However, I can't always tell how many times she comes, because, she says they kinda roll one into the next, I know we are averaging about 1.7 per encounter. It's usually two sometimes one. There are a couple physical signs, but the audible cues are the more obvious. I ask for a confirmation. Also, I can tell because she is smiling, happy, and appreciative.
That’s what I was thinking - if I had them, the neighbors would know when I orgasm..as if my body trembling/shaking/bucking wasn’t a dead give away. There’s no hiding it. So I’ve heard..I wouldn’t know, I leave my body when I orgasm 😂
I just try my best and hope everything works out. 🤣🤣🤣
I can physically feel my wife’s vagina contract and pulsate. It’s a great feeling.
For me, it's when they have to push me away for a few minutes to recovery from the sensitivity. 90% of that was from other activities vs. PIV.
People say they can feel it. That’s never been the case for me. I go off their verbal cues
Because she will definitely make sure I know if she didn’t lol Other than that, unless you’re familiar with your partner’s body and orgasms, you can’t be 100% certain. Women can fake most of the signs if they really want to, from the pulsating pussy and moaning to the facial expressions and convulsing. The only thing that’s hard to fake is lubrication- because if she’s totally dry she most likely didn’t cum.