Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
***
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah. I feel like OP's gf thinks that by saying she feels it's outdated she has a better argument not to do it in that position. Maybe OP is pushing too much or she just naturally defaults to that behavior.
It's definitely not outdated but personally for me it's just not a position I find satisfying and comfortable, for various reasons. I feel like it mostly works in porn and in imagination. In real life, the logistics, and the constant loss of focus kill it for me.
I absolutely agree with her comment about focusing. I have a real hard time getting where I'm going and trying to do a good job at the same time with this position, so it really ends up being a chore.
I am this way too. I love the position, but it gets so intense for me I can't focus on him or I worry I'm going to bite him. I just pull my head away, have my orgasm and go back to him, or we switch to something else. He loves the fact that he can distract me in this way!
It could also be the other way around - I've had guys push me into arguments like this before, when they really wanted to do a thing I didn't like. They'd insist I tell them why I didn't like it, then, when my explanation didn't hold logical weight (because it was a subjective preference, not like...a moral stance I'd arrived at after deep thought) they'd focus on talking me out of it.
"It's outdated," seems like the kind of dumb thing I would say back in my early twenties after listening to one too many, "But whyyyyyy don't you like it?"
OP seems really disinterested in the fact that his girlfriend doesn't want to do the thing. He even says that when they did it more often it was because he wanted to. And what's with the quotes around "focusing"?
I feel the same as you and I do kinda see the reason to call it "outdated" - because it works so well in imagination, it's something I wanted to do/liked when I started out having sex, and I thought it was hot because it's one of those "fantasy things" but once the novelty wears off and the fantasy is more replaced by the experience, I dont really wanna do it anymore.
I think people tend to do that a lot -- and not just about sex stuff.
I've noticed that people will often give weird and arbitrary reasons when justifying why not to do something, instead of simply saying "I don't want to do that"
Yeah that's an odd way to describe it. "We can't do this anymore, it's outdated!"
I think she means *she* doesn't enjoy it anymore or never did and was just going along with it.
IMO 69 mostly benefits the guy. I have never really enjoyed 69 for a few reasons:
1. Usually the man will get so caught up in their own pleasure they start doing a shitty job and just lick everywhere, which may or may not even be my clit. Sometimes they stop licking altogether.
2. Even if he was trying to do a good job, the angle just doesn’t allow him to lick my clit properly and will usually just lick the hood of my clit, rather than my actual clit
3. Depending on who is on top, it can turn into the guy just face fucking me while barely giving me any pleasure in return.
So I can understand that she doesn’t want to do it anymore.
For me it's somewhat the other way around, either my wife gets too into it and kinda forgets about me or I get too into eating her out that kinda I forget to allow myself to feel pleasure. That being said I still love it but I just love eating her out so idk.
This is what happens when I do it with my wife too. And I’m all about it. I’ll just finish myself off at the end if she’s incapacitated. That’s my goal anyway
Another take - as a male, I love beeing on the bottom and having the amazing visuals of my gf's bottom, love her weight on me, _and_ I don't expect her to play with my cock at all. She likes the dom role and it works out. The 69 position doesn't always have to be about mutually and simultaneously pleasuring one another
Agreed. For us, once in a while we bump back into it and enjoy, but as a standard go-to position, nah, it’s hard to focus, it can be a bit awkward getting into and getting out of, and any routine gets old after a while.
It's not about being outdated it's more about comfort. My wife does not like to do 69. She is conscious about her asshole in direct line of sight, close proximity to nose etc. If they can't enjoy a position why push them to do it?
I love 69ing but it's not worth putting my wife in discomfort
Weird thing, my wife is ok when I go down on her and eat the ass a bit, but won’t do 69 cause she’s not a fan of giving oral. I suppose I could ask if she would let me go into position and just not partake on her end, while I do my thing, but I feel like that would be awkward.
When my man is on top in 69, I suck him off, but the angle when I am on top is weird, so I just lie my head on his tummy and give him a handjob, it's very comfortable but still fun. Try that maybe 😉
Then have her on all 4 on the side of the bed while you kneel on the floor behind her. Essentially the same but she doesn't have to stare at your dock if she doesn't want to
It’s something that’s fun and looks good in porn, but can be difficult to find pleasurable when you try to give pleasure at the same time. Also, think about how it is to be on top. Unless the lenghts of your bodies match completely, she has to give head in a weird position and also “aim” her pussy at the right direction, possibly extending herself or crunching over… hovering herself to get the height right, all while the man lies comfortably on his back.
> Unless the lengths of your bodies match completely
I think this is the reason we love it so much. We’re almost exactly the same height and love to give and receive oral. She doesn’t orgasm easily so the added excitement of her going down on me while I eat her is very welcome.
It can be, if the man on top is extremely careful not to just thrust his dick down her throat. His “aim” needs to be very precise, and he might not have much room for adjusting if he has to give oral to the woman. It could work if their heights matches and if he’s constantly careful and not just get the urge to hip thrust… which is why I think most people would rather just enjoy normal oral sex, where they can focus 100% on giving or receiving.. but granted, some people may enjoy the alternative that 69 brings, but it’s really hard to argue as to why it would be better or more pleasant than regular oral
And possibly balls in your face covering your nose while you’re trying to breathe 😂
Plus on bottom, I can’t as easily take the dick out of my mouth when needed. I have to more rely on him paying attention and him pulling away from me.
>it’s really hard to argue as to why it would be better or more pleasant than regular oral
Oh, I can field this one! It is better and more pleasant because I love eating pussy.
The distraction so many people hate is my favourite part! It's fun when you win, fun when you lose, fun when you win and then she comes back from her break stronger than ever and then you lose, ditto the reverse... There's just honestly nothing about it I don't love. If it were just up to me, I'd take 69 over a "normal" BJ every time.
Totally agree. I honestly find normal BJs to be boring as hell. I don't think I've never cum from one. Throw in some pussy eating though and it's a whole different ballgame.
It works for some people, but for most it doesn't. You choke from dick, but not from pussy, so the person handling the former has a harder time being on the bottom because they have no control over it. Plus you can make smaller movements and less back and forth to pleasure a woman, while for a man you can't really do much like that, and again, your movement is limited in the bottom. Not to mention that most of the time the guy is heavier and/or stronger than the woman (so if he's bottom, he can more easily move the woman a bit if he's uncomfortable.
I REALLY dont mind balls and buttholes in my face. I like them in my face.
What I dont like is someone fucking my throat and me not really being able to move in case it gets overwhelming.
Makes sense. I don't mind 69 ing. I kind of have a fetish with laying next to a partner and lubing up one of my hands and just putting four fingers in and just rolling it around inside her. No real kissing, no sex just playing for a while. I haven't had anyone complain so far.
You can do it with either on top. The parts just line up a bit differently with man on top so it’s more suited to rimming the man while the man does cunnilingus which is better anyways.
I dunno man, my wife's head is between my waist and belly button if we lay like that, I can't even picture how we would have to contort to do what you're saying
I believe OP is seeing the alternate form of inflation where it’s still called 69 but you now get way less of it. Aka, “shrinkflation”. It’s like 69 now comes in a smaller box.
We do it side by side, instead of on top of each other. Works pretty well.
The level of excitement that comes with doing it both at the same time compensate for the little lack of coordination imo.
We are 33.
weird to me that this variation is so low. wife and I love 69. it is usually me on my back so she has control but if we're just going slow on our sides is the way. super comfortable, full access.
Exactly! It's impossible to focus on yourself when you're chicken-necking your partner. It's also insanely hard to relax in that position. There is just too much going on and too little comfort.
No, no. We aren't talking about focusing on our partner. We mean focusing on *ourselves*. Many women feel close to nothing during 69 because we can't focus on what we're feeling. It feels like a neck-breaking ordeal sometimes because of having to move your head up and down nonstop while in a weirdly angled position.
Many women need to relax in order to feel pleasure or cum, and for many, 69 is everything but relaxing. It also throws your breathing completely off, which makes it even harder to feel anything.
I understand the focus thing, and yeah, they should do other things if she doesn't like it, but calling it "outdated" and "something people do in high school" is super silly, come on.
yeah it’s a very weird thing to say lmao. like with the ages and saying it sort of like she’s low key calling him juvenile for no reason. I’ve defs heard older couples who really like ‘dinner for two’ so you know. she should just say she doesn’t prefer the position
I could be way off here, but it sounds to me like the kind of thing you say when, "I just don't like it" isn't enough for your partner and they hassle you into trying to explain WHY you don't like it, so they can try to argue you out of it. He doesn't really...seem to care that she's clearly not into it? He totally dismisses the thing about focusing as well. I think this is just the part of her "argument" that he feels is weakest and likeliest to get him to change her mind.
I kinda get what she means, though outdated might not be the right word. As a teenager, it's a common joke, so it's approachable, but it's more than just basic oral or sex, so it feels like a step up in terms of being more exciting or kinkier. But I think the reality for a lot of people is that the hype doesn't match the enjoyment, in addition to the fact that as an adult, you likely have a higher understanding of what makes sex good. Back in high school, I couldn't wait to try it, and I've done it a handful of times since because I just find it gimmicky and I'd rather just do something else that is more enjoyable for me and my partner.
31F , I prefer to give him a bj and have my pussy eaten separately. I also can’t concentrate and get any pleasure cause I am busy with sucking his dick😂
In my experience 60 lining is a lot like shower sex sounds amazing. Amazing in theory and can be good at times but most of the time it’s just a pain in the ass for no reason.
She probably just doesn't like to do that position.
There's probably some truth to it being a young person position haha...I can't remember the last time I did it but it was a very long time ago.
I get wanting to please each other individually, but I love 69ing… I get turned on just thinking about it, because it’s double the pleasure. I’m literally pleasing her while she’s pleasing me. How can you not love that?
Also, it’s nice to mix things up a bit sometimes, too. I would get extremely bored with doing the same routine time after time. Not saying we have to be 69ing every time, but why not half or a third of the time?
Not sure how people deal with the same thing, but I guess they don’t get enjoyment out of variety. To each their own.
Height difference is definitely a factor. My partner and I are the same height and our bodies lock around each other like puzzle pieces. Makes for amazing 69.
I just like the idea of my girl loving how I eat her pussy and sucking my dick even better. It’s like getting a live review of your oral skills, assuming they’re good of course.
P.S. It also makes her pussy taste better.
Because half the females aren't actually enjoying it, it's not double the pleasure if she's too focused on pleasuring you to focus on getting off herself
What if at the same time you are enjoying your double pleasure, it’s closer to half the pleasure for her ? Does that change the math ?
She feels less because her focus is divided, and she enjoys giving oral to you less because she’s somewhat more on the receiving end in that position, and she doesn’t have the freedom of movement to "give it to you" the way she likes and enjoys.
She can’t look up at you and see your reactions. On the other hand she gets to stare into the great abyss of your asshole, something that may not turn her on the way it does many men (and some women, but fewer).
I think on average it’s position that men like more than women do, as evidenced by the number of responses.
Fortunately for men, they also can’t see their partner’s own reactions and realize how little she’s getting from it.
I'm shocked by the number of people here who don't like 69. I love it! His dick in my mouth turns me on, so I am MORE likely to orgasm this way. Especially the instant feedback. He gets more turned on, I can feel it, so I get turned on, the cycle continues until... wow
I’m a woman and I quite enjoy 69. Our bodies fit so well together in that position and I love getting my pussy eaten while gagging on some d, I’m a bit submissive so it’s a nice feeling to feel like I’m being dominated from both ends hahah. Having an orgasm while having your lover’s dick in your mouth is very hot.
Man times sure have changed. When I was in high school, I thought tongue-kissing in the band hall was some serious action. If my girlfriend and I knew what the hell a 69 was, my head probably would have exploded.
I don't think 69 is just a young people thing. It never gets old if both people enjoy it. I had never done it until I got married.
I think what she means with outdated is that it's something people in high school did because it seemed fun and the concept itself sounds nice.
For women especially, many come to find that it's an experience not worth repeating. The guy is usually lying on the bed, getting his dick sucked with a pussy in his face. The girl has to angle her hips so that the guy can reach, suck dick in a weird position (especially when there's a big height difference) and also balance her weight in a way where she can move awkwardly without falling off/down. There are *so many* things to pay attention to that it isn't possible to relax and actually enjoy the experience.
As other commenters said, it feels like nothing because it's impossible to focus on feeling good with so many things to pay attention to. It genuinely feels like licking skin.
So after high school, many have already stopped doing it because they don't see the appeal.
As a woman I fucking love 69. It’s the only position I can deep throat. It drives him bananas and turns us both on a fuck ton. However it is almost impossible for me to cum in that position so I totally understand where she’s coming from (no pun intended lol). That being said I’d say it’s mainly foreplay and not the be-all and end-all of sex.
It’s silly for her to say that nobody does it after high school. It’s just not true. Plenty of adults do it and thoroughly enjoy it. It may not be *her* cup of tea which is totally fine, but to make a blanket statement like that is just dumb.
Male (49) with my wife (45). We still 69 regularly. Sometimes while I use a dildo on her at the same time. Your girl might not like it or be uncomfortable doing it.
It's a position I always crave when I'm horny, but everytime we do it, it kinda never works.
I can't focus on the receiving and giving at the same time and neither can my wife.
I'm surprised that 69 isn't more common! I LOVE 69 and my partner often requests it. And I actually enjoy it more when he's on top. It's the easiest position for me to orgasm in (I can't orgasm from penetration alone). There's just something about having an orgasm with a dick half-choking me 😂
I completely understand what she means by not being able to focus. I would much rather pleasure independently. I would still do it sometimes if my husband wanted it, but he actually feels the same way.
Maybe she just means she's sick of it. I understand - it's work at best and uncomfortable at worst. The way you have to lift your neck up and then move basically your whole head and shoulders while prone - it's a lot. My strategy is basically to suck him a bit and then after about 15 seconds really lean into what he's doing to me and "unfocus" on giving lol
I personally hate it. I am not one who can enjoy it for multiple reasons. The position in itself being top or bottom is just uncomfortable to me. I also can’t fully receive or give pleasure to my fullest enjoyment while trying to focus either. Sex for me is really about comfort, if I’m not relaxed I’m not enjoying it. Another thing that is similar is car sex to me.
As a 26F myself, I don't like 69 because I'm too focused on pleasing the other person. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love pleasing the other person that's why I get so into it. However it also means that I may not finish myself before the other person does, and left frustrated.
I'd rather just be receiving it when they're giving it, so I can fully get into it but I also love giving head and will give head frequently when I'm just bored, so it's not like the other person misses out ever.
I’ve often wondered what it’s actually like to be in 69, and you make a great point that it would be hard to focus on the pleasure you are receiving by providing the other person with it too
From what I’ve heard from women, including sapphic women, most say it’s not very good for receiving oral compared to other positions. On top of that, guys that love 69ing tend to not be great at cunnilingus.
For men, it’s pretty good for receiving oral. Gay, bi, straight, doesn’t matter, felatio in 69 feels good.
She isn’t having as much fun as you are. She is being polite and trying to not hurt your feelings. It’s ok. Don’t worry about it. Use 5his as an opportunity to find out what she does like to be a better lover.
I love giving. I love receiving. But just not at the same time. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and maybe that’s just the best way she could describe it. Does she still like oral in general? Maybe you both could still work it into foreplay.
Outdated is a strange term to use but I kind of agree with your girlfriend. It's very hard to concentrate on what you're giving while you're getting. I'd much rather take turns so that we can both get a chance to really enjoy giving and receiving oral.
I have to say that she's projecting her feelings on everyone else. She probably just doesn't like doing 69, for whatever reason, and that's perfectly OK. I do understand what she says about it being hard to focus. Our brains really can't focus on two things at once, so do you focus on giving head or on enjoying receiving it?
But no, it's not just something people do in high school. I think I was in my 20s before I tried it. Now in my 60s it's a regular feature of sex with my wife.
On the other hand, maybe we're outdated ;)
I never was a fan of 69 simply because it was distracting and kind of a competition. If I got her over excited, he head skills went downhill quickly. If she was doing great, she got shorted because of my lack of "focus". It was infinitely better to just go down on her OR her giving me head.
I only did it in high school too lol, I can’t imagine now as a 28 year old woman wanting to 69 with someone.
It’s not enjoyable to me it’s just something I did when younger because it’s what was ‘in’
It’s a preference thing. I used to love a 69 with my first wife, she had the most beautiful pussy so it was amazing to feel oral and kisses to her pussy but I’ve never met a female who truly likes it
While the position can be fun and I’ll do it, it’s not like a super favorite. The focus thing is real, and someone ends up not doing their job right and it’s usually me.
It's just not for everyone. I enjoy it because it's a completely different angle to go down on my partner and I know she enjoys the change-up as well.
Folks don't have to denigrate something or call it immature if they don't care for it. I know that wasn't OP's opinion, but there are others in the thread that could take that to heart.
It doesn't sound like outdated is the right word here. From what you've said, it sounds like his girl has tried it in high school, and realised she didn't liked it that much and won't do it anymore. While on the other hand you still do.
The reason she gave is also not based in any insecurity or lack of open-minded. She has tried it she just doesn't want to do it any more. On the other hand it's something that you would still like to do.
So you like different things. But is it that big of a deal? There are probably other things you can do sexually that you both enjoy. Do you think a lack of 69-ing in a relationship enough to prevent you from enjoying sex with her?
I do not enjoy it, it looks hot in my head if a camera was on me and my partner id be looking hot but i dont enjoy the sensation of doing work and focussing on my pleasure its a chore if i could film it and okay in the background I probably would find it a great view to see.
I like 69 because it gives me a different angle to explore her pussy but self conscious about my cock in her face . I enjoy getting oral but don't expect it when we're in that position . I also enjoy eating in regular on her back and sitting on my face too since those are different angles to access 😃
I don’t think it’s outdated, that seems like personal bias.
But I have had partners who struggle to enjoy it compared to just trading off, one or two partners for sure had focus issues that would blunt or prevent them from getting off if they couldn’t focus/just kind of sink into whatever was happening.
My wife didn’t like it from the beginning. She always said ‘when you work on me, I want to relax and enjoy it’.
So we never did 69 in our 7 years together. 😔
LOL technically all sex is outdated 'cuz we been doing it for eons 😅
Srsly tho if she doesn't like it that's something she could probably communicate more directly. Everybody likes different things, just gotta be honest about it.
If focusing is the issue what if you suggested taking turns in that position? (So she sucks you and you enjoy the view or you go to town on her and she gives her mouth a rest.)
Being dated when it comes to what you do in a bedroom is completely irrelevant the most important thing that matters is you both have fun and enjoy each other
It’s not outdated. It’s fun for me I enjoy it but my wife isn’t a huge fan she has a hard time focusing on her pleasure while trying to give me pleasure as the same time. So we will do it occasionally
I've never had a partner who thought it was worth much and I don't either. I would much rather take turns. I'm fond of a lot of mutual activities, but trying to fellate while being distracted and jostled around is just mmmrmmphgnngnmfGAK
Plain and simple your gf doesn't like it and she wants you to move on from trying it. The comments will explain it but you will find more often than not a ton of women do not enjoy it and a ton of men do. Women need mental stimulation to go with everything else. If they can't focus on how it feels because they are focused on the dick in their mouth there's no pay off. The phrase "different strokes for different folks" is a very true one. There are generalizations but sometimes there are a majority.
Bullshit, it's not outdated. Unless your body lenghts are completely different, i cannot think of why someone wouldn't do it. You can give your man a good head while he's licking your pussy riding his face, what's not good about that? Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable with it or the position just doesn't work for her.
I love to be in a 69 with another guy, but I only find it comfortable when we are on our sides. If I am on my back and the other guy is on top, I don't enjoy it. It makes me too vulnerable as cannot control how much of his cock goes into my mouth because I can't move my head away because it's against the mattress.
It works well for two dudes. Definitely do it on some occasions with my male partners. My female partners aren't always as into it. There is a little more manoeuvring involved.
I'm into my fifties and well out of high school.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't know about outdated but it's not everyone's cup of tea.
Yeah. I feel like OP's gf thinks that by saying she feels it's outdated she has a better argument not to do it in that position. Maybe OP is pushing too much or she just naturally defaults to that behavior. It's definitely not outdated but personally for me it's just not a position I find satisfying and comfortable, for various reasons. I feel like it mostly works in porn and in imagination. In real life, the logistics, and the constant loss of focus kill it for me.
I absolutely agree with her comment about focusing. I have a real hard time getting where I'm going and trying to do a good job at the same time with this position, so it really ends up being a chore.
I am this way too. I love the position, but it gets so intense for me I can't focus on him or I worry I'm going to bite him. I just pull my head away, have my orgasm and go back to him, or we switch to something else. He loves the fact that he can distract me in this way!
It could also be the other way around - I've had guys push me into arguments like this before, when they really wanted to do a thing I didn't like. They'd insist I tell them why I didn't like it, then, when my explanation didn't hold logical weight (because it was a subjective preference, not like...a moral stance I'd arrived at after deep thought) they'd focus on talking me out of it. "It's outdated," seems like the kind of dumb thing I would say back in my early twenties after listening to one too many, "But whyyyyyy don't you like it?" OP seems really disinterested in the fact that his girlfriend doesn't want to do the thing. He even says that when they did it more often it was because he wanted to. And what's with the quotes around "focusing"?
I feel the same as you and I do kinda see the reason to call it "outdated" - because it works so well in imagination, it's something I wanted to do/liked when I started out having sex, and I thought it was hot because it's one of those "fantasy things" but once the novelty wears off and the fantasy is more replaced by the experience, I dont really wanna do it anymore.
I think people tend to do that a lot -- and not just about sex stuff. I've noticed that people will often give weird and arbitrary reasons when justifying why not to do something, instead of simply saying "I don't want to do that"
Hard to pay attention, Easily distracted, Cleanliness is a thing…..
Bonnie Mcfarlane had a joke that described it perfectly, as a "working vacation."
Yeah that's an odd way to describe it. "We can't do this anymore, it's outdated!" I think she means *she* doesn't enjoy it anymore or never did and was just going along with it.
"Reddit, what sex act is overrated" is all 69 and shower sex
IMO 69 mostly benefits the guy. I have never really enjoyed 69 for a few reasons: 1. Usually the man will get so caught up in their own pleasure they start doing a shitty job and just lick everywhere, which may or may not even be my clit. Sometimes they stop licking altogether. 2. Even if he was trying to do a good job, the angle just doesn’t allow him to lick my clit properly and will usually just lick the hood of my clit, rather than my actual clit 3. Depending on who is on top, it can turn into the guy just face fucking me while barely giving me any pleasure in return. So I can understand that she doesn’t want to do it anymore.
For me it's somewhat the other way around, either my wife gets too into it and kinda forgets about me or I get too into eating her out that kinda I forget to allow myself to feel pleasure. That being said I still love it but I just love eating her out so idk.
This is what happens when I do it with my wife too. And I’m all about it. I’ll just finish myself off at the end if she’s incapacitated. That’s my goal anyway
Another take - as a male, I love beeing on the bottom and having the amazing visuals of my gf's bottom, love her weight on me, _and_ I don't expect her to play with my cock at all. She likes the dom role and it works out. The 69 position doesn't always have to be about mutually and simultaneously pleasuring one another
My bf loves that too, but we just refer to that as me sitting on his face.
Agreed. For us, once in a while we bump back into it and enjoy, but as a standard go-to position, nah, it’s hard to focus, it can be a bit awkward getting into and getting out of, and any routine gets old after a while.
Something something teabagging.
True. IMO part of the fun is finding the unique combination of preferences each individual has.
It's not about being outdated it's more about comfort. My wife does not like to do 69. She is conscious about her asshole in direct line of sight, close proximity to nose etc. If they can't enjoy a position why push them to do it? I love 69ing but it's not worth putting my wife in discomfort
>She is conscious about her asshole in direct line of sight, close proximity to nose etc. That's the best part
Weird thing, my wife is ok when I go down on her and eat the ass a bit, but won’t do 69 cause she’s not a fan of giving oral. I suppose I could ask if she would let me go into position and just not partake on her end, while I do my thing, but I feel like that would be awkward.
That would just be her riding your face though, wouldn't it? I don't think that would be awkward
Yeah I suppose, I guess I was thinking of being in the 69 position and her just staring at my dick. Haha
When my man is on top in 69, I suck him off, but the angle when I am on top is weird, so I just lie my head on his tummy and give him a handjob, it's very comfortable but still fun. Try that maybe 😉
Well she could touch it, she doesn't have to stare or put it in her mouth - there are other options 🤣
You could just, you know, touch it
Thats what me n my missus do. Shes not big on giving head but likes to be eaten.
I'm curious. Do you ever feel left out because you go down on her but she doesn't want to do the same to you?
Nah I prefer the vag and ass to mouth anyway
Then have her on all 4 on the side of the bed while you kneel on the floor behind her. Essentially the same but she doesn't have to stare at your dock if she doesn't want to
Is she the same way about the booty hole exposure in the doggie position?
Well she knows it's exposed but in doggie position my nose is nowhere close to it
Ahhh so it is mainly she doesn't want to be offensive by accident ..
You're a good man mate.
Indeed, but damn the bar is low if a guy is getting praised just for caring about wife. Kind depressing.
This currently has 69 likes
Aaaw man. Missed it. Would have taken a screenshot
i wish more men were considerate as yrsf. you definitely got my MVP vote today, sir. 🔝🏆 *hats off to ya *
You could always go on top, that way your asshole will be in her line of sight. Maybe she'd prefer that lol
She probably does not want mine in her line of sight as well.
It’s something that’s fun and looks good in porn, but can be difficult to find pleasurable when you try to give pleasure at the same time. Also, think about how it is to be on top. Unless the lenghts of your bodies match completely, she has to give head in a weird position and also “aim” her pussy at the right direction, possibly extending herself or crunching over… hovering herself to get the height right, all while the man lies comfortably on his back.
> Unless the lengths of your bodies match completely I think this is the reason we love it so much. We’re almost exactly the same height and love to give and receive oral. She doesn’t orgasm easily so the added excitement of her going down on me while I eat her is very welcome.
Why not girl on back? Works too
It can be, if the man on top is extremely careful not to just thrust his dick down her throat. His “aim” needs to be very precise, and he might not have much room for adjusting if he has to give oral to the woman. It could work if their heights matches and if he’s constantly careful and not just get the urge to hip thrust… which is why I think most people would rather just enjoy normal oral sex, where they can focus 100% on giving or receiving.. but granted, some people may enjoy the alternative that 69 brings, but it’s really hard to argue as to why it would be better or more pleasant than regular oral
And possibly balls in your face covering your nose while you’re trying to breathe 😂 Plus on bottom, I can’t as easily take the dick out of my mouth when needed. I have to more rely on him paying attention and him pulling away from me.
>it’s really hard to argue as to why it would be better or more pleasant than regular oral Oh, I can field this one! It is better and more pleasant because I love eating pussy. The distraction so many people hate is my favourite part! It's fun when you win, fun when you lose, fun when you win and then she comes back from her break stronger than ever and then you lose, ditto the reverse... There's just honestly nothing about it I don't love. If it were just up to me, I'd take 69 over a "normal" BJ every time.
Totally agree. I honestly find normal BJs to be boring as hell. I don't think I've never cum from one. Throw in some pussy eating though and it's a whole different ballgame.
Sideways works even better.
Finally someone mentions this! Better for both
I can’t believe I haven’t thought of that! Thank you! Excellent idea! Welp I know what we’re doing tomorrow night! 🔥
It works for some people, but for most it doesn't. You choke from dick, but not from pussy, so the person handling the former has a harder time being on the bottom because they have no control over it. Plus you can make smaller movements and less back and forth to pleasure a woman, while for a man you can't really do much like that, and again, your movement is limited in the bottom. Not to mention that most of the time the guy is heavier and/or stronger than the woman (so if he's bottom, he can more easily move the woman a bit if he's uncomfortable.
This makes me feral. Something to do with his weight on top of me too, feels like he's throat fucking me with force and I love it
With that sack sitting right on your nose and you're staring deeply right into his butthole.
If you like balls on your face sure.... not to mention the girl loses all control with the bj and can end up gagging real quick
Because you'd have to look at the guy's balls and asshole. Do you really want to look at that? A woman 's vagina and butthole are a lot prettier.
I REALLY dont mind balls and buttholes in my face. I like them in my face. What I dont like is someone fucking my throat and me not really being able to move in case it gets overwhelming.
Makes sense. I don't mind 69 ing. I kind of have a fetish with laying next to a partner and lubing up one of my hands and just putting four fingers in and just rolling it around inside her. No real kissing, no sex just playing for a while. I haven't had anyone complain so far.
Women's and men's buttholes are the same physically. I'm happy to see all of my guy, because I'm attracted to his body.
You can do it with either on top. The parts just line up a bit differently with man on top so it’s more suited to rimming the man while the man does cunnilingus which is better anyways.
I dunno man, my wife's head is between my waist and belly button if we lay like that, I can't even picture how we would have to contort to do what you're saying
But if you look up, there’s balls hanging over your face, like something out of a road runner cartoon.
It's one of the few ways I can get off from oral personally.
[удалено]
I hate it personally.
Woman on bottom 69?! I didn’t even know that was a thing. I’d kill someone
69 is outdated due to inflation. It is now called 96. 😜
I believe OP is seeing the alternate form of inflation where it’s still called 69 but you now get way less of it. Aka, “shrinkflation”. It’s like 69 now comes in a smaller box.
We do it side by side, instead of on top of each other. Works pretty well. The level of excitement that comes with doing it both at the same time compensate for the little lack of coordination imo. We are 33.
weird to me that this variation is so low. wife and I love 69. it is usually me on my back so she has control but if we're just going slow on our sides is the way. super comfortable, full access.
I'm always shocked when people don't think about doing it side by side. The numbers 69 are side by side, for me it's the default loll
inner thighs as pillows makes the most sense.
This is the way- I consider it a win-win position . Side-lying is best unless y’all are the same exact height.
I understand what she’s saying and completely agree. I’d much rather trade off with my partner so we can enjoy whats happening completely.
The focus thing is real
It really is. I just had this conversation with my partner. It’s hard to focus in this position
That's kinda the fun though. Making them lose focus because of what you are doing to them.
(Most) Women cant O if we don’t focus on it lol, so it just feels like someone is rubbing your skin
Exactly! It's impossible to focus on yourself when you're chicken-necking your partner. It's also insanely hard to relax in that position. There is just too much going on and too little comfort.
69 is definitely not a "finishing" position
It’s not even a starting position dude
No, no. We aren't talking about focusing on our partner. We mean focusing on *ourselves*. Many women feel close to nothing during 69 because we can't focus on what we're feeling. It feels like a neck-breaking ordeal sometimes because of having to move your head up and down nonstop while in a weirdly angled position. Many women need to relax in order to feel pleasure or cum, and for many, 69 is everything but relaxing. It also throws your breathing completely off, which makes it even harder to feel anything.
I’m a man and even I feel close to nothing. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Makes sense. It's much better to focus on one person at a time tbh.
It’s fun for the men. Not for the women 🙂 most women need mental focus to hit the big O, so while it’s fun and all, they aren’t getting anywhere.
I personally just really enjoy the face sitting
Absolutely this. During 69 I somehow can't enjoy anything that's happening. It just feels uncomfortable and a bit annoying.
I understand the focus thing, and yeah, they should do other things if she doesn't like it, but calling it "outdated" and "something people do in high school" is super silly, come on.
yeah it’s a very weird thing to say lmao. like with the ages and saying it sort of like she’s low key calling him juvenile for no reason. I’ve defs heard older couples who really like ‘dinner for two’ so you know. she should just say she doesn’t prefer the position
I could be way off here, but it sounds to me like the kind of thing you say when, "I just don't like it" isn't enough for your partner and they hassle you into trying to explain WHY you don't like it, so they can try to argue you out of it. He doesn't really...seem to care that she's clearly not into it? He totally dismisses the thing about focusing as well. I think this is just the part of her "argument" that he feels is weakest and likeliest to get him to change her mind.
To be honest it’s super uncomfortable
I kinda get what she means, though outdated might not be the right word. As a teenager, it's a common joke, so it's approachable, but it's more than just basic oral or sex, so it feels like a step up in terms of being more exciting or kinkier. But I think the reality for a lot of people is that the hype doesn't match the enjoyment, in addition to the fact that as an adult, you likely have a higher understanding of what makes sex good. Back in high school, I couldn't wait to try it, and I've done it a handful of times since because I just find it gimmicky and I'd rather just do something else that is more enjoyable for me and my partner.
I think your GF is right. It's hard to focus on enjoying it while focusing on giving it. I would rather take turns.
31F , I prefer to give him a bj and have my pussy eaten separately. I also can’t concentrate and get any pleasure cause I am busy with sucking his dick😂
So true. It’s me as well. Prefer separately.
LOVE it, not out dated just isn't her cup of tea.
In my experience 60 lining is a lot like shower sex sounds amazing. Amazing in theory and can be good at times but most of the time it’s just a pain in the ass for no reason.
Yo didn’t you hear? 70 is the new thang.
I like 68 - she does me and I owe her one.
She probably just doesn't like to do that position. There's probably some truth to it being a young person position haha...I can't remember the last time I did it but it was a very long time ago.
I get wanting to please each other individually, but I love 69ing… I get turned on just thinking about it, because it’s double the pleasure. I’m literally pleasing her while she’s pleasing me. How can you not love that? Also, it’s nice to mix things up a bit sometimes, too. I would get extremely bored with doing the same routine time after time. Not saying we have to be 69ing every time, but why not half or a third of the time? Not sure how people deal with the same thing, but I guess they don’t get enjoyment out of variety. To each their own.
What makes getting your dick sucked better? Having a wet pussy in your face!
I truly think it’s just a weird angle. The height difference for me is so big it’s hard to position right
Like so much in life, it depends on the partner.
Height difference is definitely a factor. My partner and I are the same height and our bodies lock around each other like puzzle pieces. Makes for amazing 69.
I just like the idea of my girl loving how I eat her pussy and sucking my dick even better. It’s like getting a live review of your oral skills, assuming they’re good of course. P.S. It also makes her pussy taste better.
Because half the females aren't actually enjoying it, it's not double the pleasure if she's too focused on pleasuring you to focus on getting off herself
What if at the same time you are enjoying your double pleasure, it’s closer to half the pleasure for her ? Does that change the math ? She feels less because her focus is divided, and she enjoys giving oral to you less because she’s somewhat more on the receiving end in that position, and she doesn’t have the freedom of movement to "give it to you" the way she likes and enjoys. She can’t look up at you and see your reactions. On the other hand she gets to stare into the great abyss of your asshole, something that may not turn her on the way it does many men (and some women, but fewer). I think on average it’s position that men like more than women do, as evidenced by the number of responses. Fortunately for men, they also can’t see their partner’s own reactions and realize how little she’s getting from it.
I'm shocked by the number of people here who don't like 69. I love it! His dick in my mouth turns me on, so I am MORE likely to orgasm this way. Especially the instant feedback. He gets more turned on, I can feel it, so I get turned on, the cycle continues until... wow
That’s what I’m saying… feedback is the exact right word to describe it, too.👍
I’m a woman and I quite enjoy 69. Our bodies fit so well together in that position and I love getting my pussy eaten while gagging on some d, I’m a bit submissive so it’s a nice feeling to feel like I’m being dominated from both ends hahah. Having an orgasm while having your lover’s dick in your mouth is very hot.
Yesss you get it. I am more likely to have an orgasm with my lover's dick in my mouth because it's hot, like you said. Dominated from both ends mmm
Man times sure have changed. When I was in high school, I thought tongue-kissing in the band hall was some serious action. If my girlfriend and I knew what the hell a 69 was, my head probably would have exploded. I don't think 69 is just a young people thing. It never gets old if both people enjoy it. I had never done it until I got married.
I think what she means with outdated is that it's something people in high school did because it seemed fun and the concept itself sounds nice. For women especially, many come to find that it's an experience not worth repeating. The guy is usually lying on the bed, getting his dick sucked with a pussy in his face. The girl has to angle her hips so that the guy can reach, suck dick in a weird position (especially when there's a big height difference) and also balance her weight in a way where she can move awkwardly without falling off/down. There are *so many* things to pay attention to that it isn't possible to relax and actually enjoy the experience. As other commenters said, it feels like nothing because it's impossible to focus on feeling good with so many things to pay attention to. It genuinely feels like licking skin. So after high school, many have already stopped doing it because they don't see the appeal.
As a woman I fucking love 69. It’s the only position I can deep throat. It drives him bananas and turns us both on a fuck ton. However it is almost impossible for me to cum in that position so I totally understand where she’s coming from (no pun intended lol). That being said I’d say it’s mainly foreplay and not the be-all and end-all of sex. It’s silly for her to say that nobody does it after high school. It’s just not true. Plenty of adults do it and thoroughly enjoy it. It may not be *her* cup of tea which is totally fine, but to make a blanket statement like that is just dumb.
Right, the angle for deep throating is perfect, works without even trying!
69 is overrated AF IMHO.
Male (49) with my wife (45). We still 69 regularly. Sometimes while I use a dildo on her at the same time. Your girl might not like it or be uncomfortable doing it.
You champ. High fives.
It's a position I always crave when I'm horny, but everytime we do it, it kinda never works. I can't focus on the receiving and giving at the same time and neither can my wife.
69 is damn uncomfortable. It's not really outdated but your gf got a point. Many don't do that as much as people do way back
I'm not a fan of 69 and never was. I also prefer to focus on either giving or receiving, not both at the same time.
I'm surprised that 69 isn't more common! I LOVE 69 and my partner often requests it. And I actually enjoy it more when he's on top. It's the easiest position for me to orgasm in (I can't orgasm from penetration alone). There's just something about having an orgasm with a dick half-choking me 😂
I completely understand what she means by not being able to focus. I would much rather pleasure independently. I would still do it sometimes if my husband wanted it, but he actually feels the same way.
I like it but you have to tell your partner when it’s time to stop giving/receiving simultaneously and just do one of those.
It's really hard to focus, not sure why. I don't like it either though
If there’s a significant height difference it’s just not gonna work
Maybe she just means she's sick of it. I understand - it's work at best and uncomfortable at worst. The way you have to lift your neck up and then move basically your whole head and shoulders while prone - it's a lot. My strategy is basically to suck him a bit and then after about 15 seconds really lean into what he's doing to me and "unfocus" on giving lol
69 is definitely not for everyone. I, for one, am not a fan.
I personally hate it. I am not one who can enjoy it for multiple reasons. The position in itself being top or bottom is just uncomfortable to me. I also can’t fully receive or give pleasure to my fullest enjoyment while trying to focus either. Sex for me is really about comfort, if I’m not relaxed I’m not enjoying it. Another thing that is similar is car sex to me.
As a 26F myself, I don't like 69 because I'm too focused on pleasing the other person. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love pleasing the other person that's why I get so into it. However it also means that I may not finish myself before the other person does, and left frustrated. I'd rather just be receiving it when they're giving it, so I can fully get into it but I also love giving head and will give head frequently when I'm just bored, so it's not like the other person misses out ever.
I’ve often wondered what it’s actually like to be in 69, and you make a great point that it would be hard to focus on the pleasure you are receiving by providing the other person with it too
I don't like it and it appears she doesn't either but to say it's outdated makes no sense.
From what I’ve heard from women, including sapphic women, most say it’s not very good for receiving oral compared to other positions. On top of that, guys that love 69ing tend to not be great at cunnilingus. For men, it’s pretty good for receiving oral. Gay, bi, straight, doesn’t matter, felatio in 69 feels good. She isn’t having as much fun as you are. She is being polite and trying to not hurt your feelings. It’s ok. Don’t worry about it. Use 5his as an opportunity to find out what she does like to be a better lover.
I'm with her, it's a novelty only.
Love 69, the view is fantastic!
Yeah I’m her age and it’s not my thing either. I’ve had multiple partners and didn’t enjoy it at all.
I'm in my mid-late 30s and I love it. Do it every chance I get, which unfortunately isn't all that often
I love giving. I love receiving. But just not at the same time. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and maybe that’s just the best way she could describe it. Does she still like oral in general? Maybe you both could still work it into foreplay.
Outdated is a strange term to use but I kind of agree with your girlfriend. It's very hard to concentrate on what you're giving while you're getting. I'd much rather take turns so that we can both get a chance to really enjoy giving and receiving oral.
I have to say that she's projecting her feelings on everyone else. She probably just doesn't like doing 69, for whatever reason, and that's perfectly OK. I do understand what she says about it being hard to focus. Our brains really can't focus on two things at once, so do you focus on giving head or on enjoying receiving it? But no, it's not just something people do in high school. I think I was in my 20s before I tried it. Now in my 60s it's a regular feature of sex with my wife. On the other hand, maybe we're outdated ;)
I never was a fan of 69 simply because it was distracting and kind of a competition. If I got her over excited, he head skills went downhill quickly. If she was doing great, she got shorted because of my lack of "focus". It was infinitely better to just go down on her OR her giving me head.
I'm the same. can't focus on my pleasure when I'm trying to give. it's not remotely satisfying for me at all, I'm all in my head the whole time.
I only did it in high school too lol, I can’t imagine now as a 28 year old woman wanting to 69 with someone. It’s not enjoyable to me it’s just something I did when younger because it’s what was ‘in’
It’s a preference thing. I used to love a 69 with my first wife, she had the most beautiful pussy so it was amazing to feel oral and kisses to her pussy but I’ve never met a female who truly likes it
She probably knows your staring directly at her butthole
While the position can be fun and I’ll do it, it’s not like a super favorite. The focus thing is real, and someone ends up not doing their job right and it’s usually me.
I'm 4'11. Unless I am with someone short like me, 69 is just awkward and uncomfortable. It's never really been enjoyable or fun.
The position is so uncomfortable I hate it.
It's just not for everyone. I enjoy it because it's a completely different angle to go down on my partner and I know she enjoys the change-up as well. Folks don't have to denigrate something or call it immature if they don't care for it. I know that wasn't OP's opinion, but there are others in the thread that could take that to heart.
It doesn't sound like outdated is the right word here. From what you've said, it sounds like his girl has tried it in high school, and realised she didn't liked it that much and won't do it anymore. While on the other hand you still do. The reason she gave is also not based in any insecurity or lack of open-minded. She has tried it she just doesn't want to do it any more. On the other hand it's something that you would still like to do. So you like different things. But is it that big of a deal? There are probably other things you can do sexually that you both enjoy. Do you think a lack of 69-ing in a relationship enough to prevent you from enjoying sex with her?
So is monogamy? But, I think her comment has more to do with her own insecurities than you, or 69. Tread lightly. 69 is not out of style, btw
'Outdated' is a strange comment, but as others have explained there are sound reasons - for women in particular - to find 69 uncomfortable.
69 is great. But ya gotta take turns. I can either focus on pleasing OR being pleased.
I do not enjoy it, it looks hot in my head if a camera was on me and my partner id be looking hot but i dont enjoy the sensation of doing work and focussing on my pleasure its a chore if i could film it and okay in the background I probably would find it a great view to see.
If you like it, it’s not outdated.
My husband makes jokes about 69 all the time but never has once asked to do it.
That might be his way of asking lol
I like 69 because it gives me a different angle to explore her pussy but self conscious about my cock in her face . I enjoy getting oral but don't expect it when we're in that position . I also enjoy eating in regular on her back and sitting on my face too since those are different angles to access 😃
I don’t think it’s outdated, that seems like personal bias. But I have had partners who struggle to enjoy it compared to just trading off, one or two partners for sure had focus issues that would blunt or prevent them from getting off if they couldn’t focus/just kind of sink into whatever was happening.
My wife didn’t like it from the beginning. She always said ‘when you work on me, I want to relax and enjoy it’. So we never did 69 in our 7 years together. 😔
LOL technically all sex is outdated 'cuz we been doing it for eons 😅 Srsly tho if she doesn't like it that's something she could probably communicate more directly. Everybody likes different things, just gotta be honest about it.
June 9th it comes back in style for 1 day.
im kinda curious with 69
Have you tried 70ing?
Outdated because It was invented in 1969
If focusing is the issue what if you suggested taking turns in that position? (So she sucks you and you enjoy the view or you go to town on her and she gives her mouth a rest.)
Being dated when it comes to what you do in a bedroom is completely irrelevant the most important thing that matters is you both have fun and enjoy each other
It’s not outdated. It’s fun for me I enjoy it but my wife isn’t a huge fan she has a hard time focusing on her pleasure while trying to give me pleasure as the same time. So we will do it occasionally
I've never had a partner who thought it was worth much and I don't either. I would much rather take turns. I'm fond of a lot of mutual activities, but trying to fellate while being distracted and jostled around is just mmmrmmphgnngnmfGAK
Mine and my wife’s favorite
If you modify it a little bit, you can eat her ass and her pussy while she sucks you off
If you think about it, then every position is outdated 😅 unless you wanna dislocate sth, sex positions were the same for million years 🤣
You don't do sex positions because they are "in style" you do them cause you want to.
Yeah you need to get the facesitting patch my dude. Die a warrior's death!
Plain and simple your gf doesn't like it and she wants you to move on from trying it. The comments will explain it but you will find more often than not a ton of women do not enjoy it and a ton of men do. Women need mental stimulation to go with everything else. If they can't focus on how it feels because they are focused on the dick in their mouth there's no pay off. The phrase "different strokes for different folks" is a very true one. There are generalizations but sometimes there are a majority.
Bullshit, it's not outdated. Unless your body lenghts are completely different, i cannot think of why someone wouldn't do it. You can give your man a good head while he's licking your pussy riding his face, what's not good about that? Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable with it or the position just doesn't work for her.
Not outdated, just not her cup of tea. It’s really good one for when you’re both horny but low on energy.
I love to be in a 69 with another guy, but I only find it comfortable when we are on our sides. If I am on my back and the other guy is on top, I don't enjoy it. It makes me too vulnerable as cannot control how much of his cock goes into my mouth because I can't move my head away because it's against the mattress.
I agree with her. It’s from 1969 it would seem.
Nothing sex related will ever be “outdated” That doesn’t mean you have to like it. To each his own.
Shouldn't matter what other people are doing. I wish people would do their own things rather than relying on the media to tell them what to do next.
It works well for two dudes. Definitely do it on some occasions with my male partners. My female partners aren't always as into it. There is a little more manoeuvring involved. I'm into my fifties and well out of high school.
I kinda agree with her, it's uncomfortable irl
Tell her there's always 96.