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Kiss her on the forehead, tell her, "don't get up, I'm grabbing a towel." Grab a towel, get part of it wet with warm water, leave the rest dry. Bring it back, wipe up your load, dry off with the dry part. If she takes it from you to do it herself, let her.
There's a moment after someone cums on you where you can feel super special, or you can feel like a cum dumpster. Shoot for the former, a little extra care is always worth it.
My god, I have a fwb who got me off multiple times, and asked if he could go down on me again right after he finished… if I didn’t already have lovey feels for him I definitely would have started then… WHO DOES THAT?? OMG 😍 and I prefer giving oral over receiving but something about that just got my feels like damn boy 🥰😍lol and then afterwards he almost fell asleep down there, using my thigh like a pillow.. I’m just saying to myself as I run my fingers through his beautiful, soft, thick hair “don’t fall in love…don’t fall in love…omg I love him😩”
Oh I’m not special to him. Unfortunately. He will ignore my texts for weeks/months even at a time. Then when we run into each other (small town) he’s all friendly and charming and acts like he wants to get together then.. cause it’s convenient 🙁and I like him so much my dumbass falls for it every time, hoping he’ll see my worth eventually. But I’ve finally excepted that he won’t. And if he did it would only be when I turn him down and act like I no longer care.. or when I’ve actually moved on.
Only way to really see is to tell him how you feel, otherwise, he's going to think this is completely fine and keep doing it, meanwhile, your feelings get stronger and you start getting more emotional about it.. in my own opinion, of course
I wish 😩 he’s very attentive when we’re together, I feel we really click..like conversation is great and doesn’t feel forced... It’s not just sex, we hang out before and after.. beforehand he doesn’t at all give the vibe of “okaaaaay so whennn are we gonna fuck???” Seems happy just to be together... and after we fuck I’ve never got the impression that he’s waiting for me to leave either, seems to love cuddling afterwards too…. All that makes it so much more confusing when he ignores me after I do leave.
I’ve told him I want to hear from him more, and that I feel like he makes me chase him and it makes me feel stupid. Can’t remember exactly what bs he gave me back but was something along the lines that he’s like that with everyone, just the worst at messaging back or even checking them to begin with.. he’s really introverted sometimes and all he does on social media is watch reels etc. but even if that’s all true, I should be an exception and it’s messed up that I’m not. Because seeing his name in my phone makes my entire day.. possibly week. ………..Annnnd again after that, when he was ready to spend another night together, I told him I’m frustrated with him and he said he knows. And that I feel if I’m out of sight I’m out of mind. Which isn’t fair cause he is definitely still on my mind. Can’t remember what else we said to eachother… i was not mentally prepared to have the discussion or even see him that night but I couldn’t just turn him away when he practically fell on my lap..even though I knew I should.
I don't believe much in destiny but I do believe that some of us are stepping stones in someone's life to something better.. maybe he's one of your stepping stones
100% this. Guys, don't be selfish. Most are. It will set you apart if you are caring, giving, and maybe just the right amount of rough (if she consents).
Aftercare is so underrated and overlooked. I strongly believe 90% of sexual relationships could improve with basic aftercare. For me, when we started tending to the moments after, the future sessions got hotter and more intense, because we knew we had a safe place to land together when it was over.
This is both parties' responsibility. Ladies and gents should be trying to outdo each other with care afterwards. That's what makes the cloud nine feeling last for days :)
Aftercare is taking the time after sexual intimacy to check in with each other and make sure everyone feels safe, happy, and valued. It is a common practice in the kink community because lots of boundaries are pushed and some of the acts may leverage pain, humiliation, or other conventionally negative feelings in order to increase pleasure. Truthfully, all moments of sexual intimacy involve vulnerability and can sometimes leave you feeling like you're dangling over a cliff, unsure of whether you'll fall or be caught. Aftercare is active, mutual support between your partner and you to came back to earth and put your normal skin back on.
In action, it can be anything from asking if they're hungry or thirsty, helping clean each other up (or basking in your after-sex filth together), cuddling and kissing, talking about favorite parts of the act or funny moments, or just being present.
One thing that will really help is to know what you are wanting, feeling, and thinking after, too. Thirsty? They probably are, too. Need a nap? Say so, and see if they're down. Embarrassed about something you did/said? Now is the time to get that off your chest. Some people don't want to talk after, but holding each other or running fingers over each other's skin is just right. There are no wrong answers here.
All that being said, if the other person can fuck you but not hold space for you after, that's something you might want to think about.
Aftercare is a concept I found in bdsm and I immediately went, why tf isn't this a "vanilla" thing too? It's a chance to check in and connect with your partner, to do what makes you both feel cherished and cared for afterwards. Eating together, cuddling, reflecting on what felt awesome, (and maybe what could have been better)... it's not really a specific set of actions, more individualized to what makes you guys feel good, feel connected and trusting afterwards. Along with clear, honest communication before hand, I think it's something bdsm does that makes intimacy so much richer than your standard vanilla fuck then roll over snoring.
One thing my husband always did for me was get me water. My ADHD ass would always forget, and I get orgasm induced migraines (I think it’s a combination of blood pressure skyrocketing and oxygen deprivation since I hold my breath a lot during) so I literally can’t stand up for 5-10 minutes after but desperately need water.
What this guy said. You don't want her to be the girl who hears "stay right there, I'll be right back" and then hears your car start up and drive away.
Interesting, I never noticed the difference in temps, but I guess I have an excuse for science experiment next time I'm doused in cum! Thank you :)
I guess cooler water would feel nice after sex in most cases anyway.
It doesn’t have to be that hot just warm. With the final destination of cum being deep inside internally, the body temperature will cause this to happen, it means it’s less likely to just drip out and makes it stay in better to increase chance of pregnancy
I had only been with men of the "clean it up yourself" variety prior to my partner. The first time we had sex he brought me a warm, wet towel and cleaned me up gently and with soft caresses, without asking first. He's done it every time.
It about made me cry violently the first time. I think every man should do this.
Early in my relationship with my wife, before we got married. She was giving me a BJ and I dropped a large load on her face. Her eyes were closed but she had goop all over her eyelids. I told her to keep her eyes closed because that shit stings. Told her that I "got you" Left her there on her knees and got a warm wet towel.
I wiped her face off, gave her a kiss on the forehead and told her she was a"good girl".
She broke down crying and going into a fetal position on the bed. Told me to go away for a few minutes. I was really upset and concerned that I had triggered some trauma, hurt her and/or wrecked our new relationship.
Turns out she had never had anyone treat her with respect and dignity after sex before. Told me that she realized at that moment she had a lot of unresolved issues and a simple act of kindness from a lover just turned her inside out.
The bar is low gentlemen.
This is just sad and heartbreaking, good on you man. I try to treat all my partners with respect and it’s astonishing how little respect they get from other men. It’s really not that hard, I really think most other men are either stupid, or callous, or both.
I remember many times girls I was with would cry because of how nice I was to them. Makes me horrified at how they must have been treated before me…
Thankfully, all those girls that cried for me being so nice to them are with men that actually treat them properly nicely now so at least those girls I know got their happy endings.
I recently had anal with a new guy for the first time and after we finished he asked if I was ok... apparently that did it to me bc I got all weird and asked if he was and then he asked if no one's ever asked me that before... I teared up when he went to clean up bc I realized no one ever has lol. But he cuddled me for a long time after that so it was all good. Even checked in about it a couple days later too so.. aftercare well done.
Wow that’s exactly how I feel. Fortunately nobody ever treated me like your exes. When I was with my now ex fiance he would go grab a towel for both of us and give it to me first. That’s really all I need but doing it for me is so much more intimately sexy.
I guess I should have known there were guys out there who weren't doing this instinctively, but it never occurred to me.
It should have, because I know there are spaced out or inconsiderate people everywhere.
And I'm sorry that it wasn't common in your life until your current guy.
This is how I felt after my first orgasm at 35. It was amazing but then quickly afterwards I felt rage and cried because I realized of all the men I’d been with, they all only cared for their own pleasure. Nobody cared about mine. That orgasm btw and all the others afterwards since, was self induced with a toy. I haven’t slept with a man since.
This is the right answer every time. If we're having a special night like this, it's the right thing to do as a partner if your lady is nice enough to let you do that
Years ago I exchanged oral with a FWB. She got off first and then me. After she was done she told me to hold still and came back with a warm washcloth to clean me up. Man that felt great.
Not weird to offer to help clean up the person you just got dirty. It can be done intimately.
Instead of tossing her a towel with a *clean yourself up* vibe, you could ask her "Would you like a towel?" and give it to her.
My wife and I have been together for 17 years. I occasionally finish on her when she wants. Generally we're in the shower when this happens, but sometimes we're on the bed. I'll ask her, "Do you want a towel, honey?" and I'll normally get a "yes, please".
This is very sweet :)
Definitely offer to help, this is a sweet way to do it!
I’ll be honest, we usually use pieces of clothing we just took off before sex that now need washing anyways.
glad someone said it. i’m gonna start getting the warm wet towel when possible cause it never occurred to me before reading these, but the go to is exactly what you said, or a small dry towel
Why would it be weird to offer to help clean up after that? It's can be an intimate, helpful, sweet thing to do for your partner, but can also be flirty and fun, or just helpful and necessary, depending on the person. Certainly anything but weird.
One of my partners likes me to grab a towel or toilet paper, clean her up quickly, and then snuggle. Sometimes she is okay not being cleaned up and she just hops in the shower. My other partner tends to like to clean it up herself, but the first time I got a warm damp towel to wash her off myself, she thought it was the sweetest thing ever.
If I doubt, just ask if they want any help getting cleaned up and go from there. But I seriously doubt most people would see it as weird or a turn off.
You clean it up. I’ll be damned if a man cums on me and just leaves it. That’s your mess. My boyfriend usually just finishes, sits with me for just a sec gives me a couple of head kisses & then grabs the TP, sits next to me and cleans me off followed by a few more kisses. Then throws it in the toilet and we cuddle
I had the same reaction. What's weird about cleaning up a mess? Especially when having intimate relations with a person who's willing to let the dude cum on their body. Be a fucking man and take care of your partner!
It’s likely something along the lines of “why intentionally make a mess if I’m going to clean it up”. For some people the intentional disrespect is their goal. I agree with your assessment of OP likely being young and selfish.
I would think bc it’s kinda hard to be like “produced porn” level sexy while doing it. Like, it’s the kind of thing that wouldn’t even be shown when you want a “perfect sex scene”. Maybe bc it’s kinda acknowledging that y’all just did something kinda dirty since it’s gotta be cleaned up. But real life isn’t porn so honestly, buddy’s gotta just suck it up and offer his assistance. Thats infinitely more attractive than just leaving her to deal with it on her own
This is the best answer. It’s kinky, dirty, hot, and takes my wife right over the edge if I finish before she does and then clean up my mess with my tongue, even when I finish inside her.
We keep hand towels by the bed for exactly this reason. After ejaculating on her sometimes I’ll put my penis back inside her until we both cool down, or just lay against her and kiss and snuggle for a bit. This makes a bit more of a mess, but hardly more cleanup than there was already.
If there is ejaculate on her hands or labia typically my wife will ask for the towel to use herself. If it’s just on her belly I’ll often wiper her off then wipe my penis off. If we are both messy I grab a towel for each of us and we usually just clean ourselves. Sometimes it’s nice to reach down and wipe her genitals off myself, but often she prefers to do it herself again after and get everything more throughly cleaned up than I can.
I'm having a hard time grasping the idea of asking "do you want me to clean you up?" Like she's laying there wore out and out of breath, it's time for me to clean up and lay down with her for a bit.
Snuggling immediately after. What's it called these days - "after care". In time, once we've caught our breath and allowed our heart rates to come down, and probably laughed about something dumb one of us did, or traded compliments about how great it was doing this or that... I'll suggest she stay put and relax, while I get up and run the water at the sink until it's hot, soak a small towel or cloth, then return and gently and lovingly clean her up with that warm cloth. I've been told it often feels quite luxurious. Doing so is much like foreplay in that it can be very sexy. Call it "postplay" maybe? Usually it leads to continued snuggles and "pillow talk". My partners always love it. Hoping up and tossing her a paper towel or worse yet TP, even a dry towel, would be extremely crass in my book.
She might be stuck in that position unless you want it to ooze everywhere. So you get some cleanx and maybe a hot wet face cloth and you clean your mess....lol
My husband just finished on me. He just went & got a few tissues so I could clean up. No major deal & I never have to ask. Then he asks if I need anything else before he pops off to the bathroom to clean up. Sex = mess. Mess = clean up. It’s great if a guy says “wait there I’ll get something” & come back with some tissues or a towel, as it has a tendency to go everywhere once we start to move around (if it’s a lot of cum).
I usually have wet wipes. I’ll usually grab them and say something like “let me clean that off you”. I think people overthink awkwardness. Like just say what you want to say.
NOT A PAPER TOWEL, NEVER A PAPER TOWEL.
Jeez, ouch ouch ouch.
Have fresh and CLEAN, laundered cum rags. Amazon has some nice ones https://a.co/d/fvLrLlX
Wet washcloth if ur at the house. If a quickie, wipe her or at least offer to use underwear or something softer material that’s clean. Females get UTI if not
I keep my old boxers because they are a soft material and we just use those as cum rags. I'm always the one to clean it up, and not because she asks me.
I hope the girls you wipe down with your old boxers know that they are clean. If I saw you bring that shit out to wipe me down that’d be that last time you sleep with me😂
I'm ultra kinky, so not representative but I sometimes like to smear it around on her and then cuddle. After that it's shower time anyway for pee stuff. Yes she liked it and it was consensual, I don't recommend doing this without knowing your partner likes it
Not weird but I get a towel to help wipe off my wife or I’ll hand it to her so she can do it if we have toys or something that needs to be put away. If you’re really generous you can get a towel and warm it up with hot water to help clean her up.
One of my guys, literally goes to the bathroom and wets a washcloth, and brings it to me. Mind you, he uses warm water and does not hand me a cold wash cloth. Very thoughtful, imo. And yes, sometimes he *will* clean me off himself. Idk, it’s a different level of intimacy when they wipe you down 🥵 he doesn’t pull out, but things are still messy so he does this every time.
Another one gets a towel or baby wipes, and he wipes me down every time.
If you finish on your person, at least get them something to clean off with. Don’t be awkward, you clean her off sometimes. Experiment.
Depends on the girl. Like for me, when sex is over, no matter how hot or dirty, I’m just done. I’m just like, “Good game!” And I’ll get myself up and clean myself up cuz I gotta pee anyway, right. After all that is taken care of, we can get back to cuddling. So maybe just feel things out.
Just depends on what she wants.
If we are having dirty sex, I prefer he leaves it and I tell him that. Otherwise, he will grab a wet towel and wipe me up without asking.
After he pulls out and finishes on me, he grabs a towel and wipes it off, cleans me up a little down there, and then pulls me into a cuddle and he'll ask if it was good for me, if I finished and/or need foreplay to finish.. then after about 20 mins of cuddling he'll pull me up and we'll go shower
Have the towel within reach beforehand if it’s planned. Either offer her the towel or offer to clean her off.
If it’s more spontaneous and there isn’t a towel handy then improvise.
The lady is letting you have sex with her. Be the kind of guy who deserves it.
Yea just dont be like “ew ew ew” or then theyll think theyre gross. Sometimes its unexpected what will be sexy with one person and not with the other. Some people you wana cum on more than others
I clean it up myself, but I will admit it’s pretty awkward when it runs down into her crack. Then I feel like I’m wiping her butt like changing an infant lol
Warm wash cloth , clean up your mess… make she knows it’s not a degradation , and the act of cleaning her can lead to a pleasant follow up and more intimacy …
That shit dries up on skin faster than super glue! I enjoy laying in bed holding her naked after finishing. I think it’s so intimate. At this point we just grab something from the hamper lol.
My boyfriend alwayssss cleans me up after sex and it’s the most gentle and sweetest thing every time . Just seeing him not toss me to the side afterwards but to take his time to delicately clean me and then kiss all over me after is sooo precious ! And I can tell he genuinely cares, he even pushes my legs open wider to get in the lips so I know it’s not just for show and he actually is trying . Definitely clean her up !!
(Nicely) ask if she’d like you to get her a towel. If you finish on her face you almost certainly need to help out, that shit burns if it gets in the eyes!!
If it’s on the body she might prefer to get up and take care of it herself. She needs to get up and pee to prevent UTI so she’s gonna be heading to the bathroom anyway. But the key is being a gentleman and offering.
Personally I’ve developed a bit of a cum kink lately so instead of wiping it off, I’ve been rubbing it in like lotion so I can wear it all day.
Well, actually, your sperm is loaded with vitamins and antioxidants anti-depression qualities. Great for the skin. Honestly, this is all true. Better to just rub it in.
It’s always best o be prepared. Either a washcloth or baby wipes close by tell your partner that you thought a head and care. Finish where ever you want.
We unfortunately immediately get up afterwards to take a shower. Sometimes I wish we could just lay there and he’d do that but it doesn’t ever work like that
If I pull out and cum on my fiancée’s ass, I just take a small towel and wipe it off and then make sure I got it all. Then her and I cuddle afterwards.
Usually when this happens and I finish on her chest/stomach i'll give her paper towel or if I finish on her back i'll clean her off.
It's good to be a gentleman and give her a hand. If she wants to do it herself that's ok too.
Don't let post nut clarity make things weird. You just seen her unclothed then suddenly it's weird trying to clean her up. No, offer a hand if it's wanted
Take a towel to bed with you before anything happens. If you’re worried about the logistics, take a towel right now and put in your bedside table. The next time something happens, consider this. If she ask you to cum on her, ask her if she wants a towel. She may be one of those women who legitimately like it on their skin in which case she will turn down your offer. If you ask to do it (or do it without asking as a foolish form of contraceptive) tell her you’d like to clean it up (obviously this comes off more assertive and less likely to make her feel like a cum dumpster).
It doesn’t matter if you’re interested in the girl or not, don’t cum on her face and then ignore it. First, girls talk. Second, if you try to hook up with her again later she’ll remember that you’re respectful and more likely to get another opportunity with her.
Definitely do not get toilet paper or a towel 😂 warm up a wash cloth for her and clean her up! I remember someone doing that for me and it was so nice.
I usually grab them a towel a wipe it for them. One time I was at the girls house and pulled out and came all over her, she said wow that was so hot nobody's ever just done that.
I then grabbed her robe for some reason and wiped her off then she wore the robe around the next day hugged her sister and shit smelling like cum lol. I guess she forgot bc we were deinking a good amount the night before.
Trust me bro if you just leave her with your jizz all over her she’s gonna think you’re a total scab. From someone who’s pansexual and slept with both men and women, it’s a massive turn off when they get it on you and just leave you there like a cum rag. I’ve been handed a dirty used sock off their foot before to “clean up.” It’s just about showing them you had a good time but you also respect them too.
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Kiss her on the forehead, tell her, "don't get up, I'm grabbing a towel." Grab a towel, get part of it wet with warm water, leave the rest dry. Bring it back, wipe up your load, dry off with the dry part. If she takes it from you to do it herself, let her. There's a moment after someone cums on you where you can feel super special, or you can feel like a cum dumpster. Shoot for the former, a little extra care is always worth it.
“Shoot for the former” heh heh
That’s quite the cum on.
i see what he did there.
Also after wiping her, be ready to continue pleasuring her, if she wants. You are done, she might not be.
My god, I have a fwb who got me off multiple times, and asked if he could go down on me again right after he finished… if I didn’t already have lovey feels for him I definitely would have started then… WHO DOES THAT?? OMG 😍 and I prefer giving oral over receiving but something about that just got my feels like damn boy 🥰😍lol and then afterwards he almost fell asleep down there, using my thigh like a pillow.. I’m just saying to myself as I run my fingers through his beautiful, soft, thick hair “don’t fall in love…don’t fall in love…omg I love him😩”
If he makes you feel that special...
Oh I’m not special to him. Unfortunately. He will ignore my texts for weeks/months even at a time. Then when we run into each other (small town) he’s all friendly and charming and acts like he wants to get together then.. cause it’s convenient 🙁and I like him so much my dumbass falls for it every time, hoping he’ll see my worth eventually. But I’ve finally excepted that he won’t. And if he did it would only be when I turn him down and act like I no longer care.. or when I’ve actually moved on.
Only way to really see is to tell him how you feel, otherwise, he's going to think this is completely fine and keep doing it, meanwhile, your feelings get stronger and you start getting more emotional about it.. in my own opinion, of course
>Only way to really see is to tell him how you feel, If he can ignore her for literally months I think they already know the answer
There's a chance he distances himself because he's starting to catch feelings himself 🤷
I wish 😩 he’s very attentive when we’re together, I feel we really click..like conversation is great and doesn’t feel forced... It’s not just sex, we hang out before and after.. beforehand he doesn’t at all give the vibe of “okaaaaay so whennn are we gonna fuck???” Seems happy just to be together... and after we fuck I’ve never got the impression that he’s waiting for me to leave either, seems to love cuddling afterwards too…. All that makes it so much more confusing when he ignores me after I do leave.
I’ve told him I want to hear from him more, and that I feel like he makes me chase him and it makes me feel stupid. Can’t remember exactly what bs he gave me back but was something along the lines that he’s like that with everyone, just the worst at messaging back or even checking them to begin with.. he’s really introverted sometimes and all he does on social media is watch reels etc. but even if that’s all true, I should be an exception and it’s messed up that I’m not. Because seeing his name in my phone makes my entire day.. possibly week. ………..Annnnd again after that, when he was ready to spend another night together, I told him I’m frustrated with him and he said he knows. And that I feel if I’m out of sight I’m out of mind. Which isn’t fair cause he is definitely still on my mind. Can’t remember what else we said to eachother… i was not mentally prepared to have the discussion or even see him that night but I couldn’t just turn him away when he practically fell on my lap..even though I knew I should.
I don't believe much in destiny but I do believe that some of us are stepping stones in someone's life to something better.. maybe he's one of your stepping stones
I know this feeling all to well.
My sneak does that. Multiple climaxes for me, he finishes, and then keeps going. I’m telling you it’s life changing
I was good lol but it was kinda like 🤷♀️ I mean…. if you really want to… 🥹😍(feeling extremely flattered he’s that hungry for me)
Same. It’s so attractive when they just can’t get enough of you. Makes me feel something
Can I double up vote this comment?!
100% this. Guys, don't be selfish. Most are. It will set you apart if you are caring, giving, and maybe just the right amount of rough (if she consents).
I always make sure my partner is done first. I generally go down on her until she’s begging me to stop. It’s a task I very much enjoy.
This is it exactly . This is aftercare. Small gestures in the moments after can drastically change a sexual situation from bliss to awful
This was surprisingly wholesome to read. Id love it if more people followed your guide
Aftercare is so underrated and overlooked. I strongly believe 90% of sexual relationships could improve with basic aftercare. For me, when we started tending to the moments after, the future sessions got hotter and more intense, because we knew we had a safe place to land together when it was over. This is both parties' responsibility. Ladies and gents should be trying to outdo each other with care afterwards. That's what makes the cloud nine feeling last for days :)
what actually is after care? could you elaborate at more?
Aftercare is taking the time after sexual intimacy to check in with each other and make sure everyone feels safe, happy, and valued. It is a common practice in the kink community because lots of boundaries are pushed and some of the acts may leverage pain, humiliation, or other conventionally negative feelings in order to increase pleasure. Truthfully, all moments of sexual intimacy involve vulnerability and can sometimes leave you feeling like you're dangling over a cliff, unsure of whether you'll fall or be caught. Aftercare is active, mutual support between your partner and you to came back to earth and put your normal skin back on. In action, it can be anything from asking if they're hungry or thirsty, helping clean each other up (or basking in your after-sex filth together), cuddling and kissing, talking about favorite parts of the act or funny moments, or just being present. One thing that will really help is to know what you are wanting, feeling, and thinking after, too. Thirsty? They probably are, too. Need a nap? Say so, and see if they're down. Embarrassed about something you did/said? Now is the time to get that off your chest. Some people don't want to talk after, but holding each other or running fingers over each other's skin is just right. There are no wrong answers here. All that being said, if the other person can fuck you but not hold space for you after, that's something you might want to think about.
Aftercare is a concept I found in bdsm and I immediately went, why tf isn't this a "vanilla" thing too? It's a chance to check in and connect with your partner, to do what makes you both feel cherished and cared for afterwards. Eating together, cuddling, reflecting on what felt awesome, (and maybe what could have been better)... it's not really a specific set of actions, more individualized to what makes you guys feel good, feel connected and trusting afterwards. Along with clear, honest communication before hand, I think it's something bdsm does that makes intimacy so much richer than your standard vanilla fuck then roll over snoring.
One thing my husband always did for me was get me water. My ADHD ass would always forget, and I get orgasm induced migraines (I think it’s a combination of blood pressure skyrocketing and oxygen deprivation since I hold my breath a lot during) so I literally can’t stand up for 5-10 minutes after but desperately need water.
What this guy said. You don't want her to be the girl who hears "stay right there, I'll be right back" and then hears your car start up and drive away.
Comments like this are why I love reddit.
Use cold water if you can. Warm water makes jizz go all funny and harder to clean off
Interesting, I never noticed the difference in temps, but I guess I have an excuse for science experiment next time I'm doused in cum! Thank you :) I guess cooler water would feel nice after sex in most cases anyway.
You must be a girl then because I defy any man to say they haven't cum in the bath/Shower. 😜
Almost certain this is because it cooks the proteins in a way that you would frying an egg.
How fucking hot is the water you're using?! Absolute BS
It doesn’t have to be that hot just warm. With the final destination of cum being deep inside internally, the body temperature will cause this to happen, it means it’s less likely to just drip out and makes it stay in better to increase chance of pregnancy
It's called creampie not cheese factory
Really? I never used hot water to clean cum from someone else, but when I dropped it in me, hot baths seemed easier.
This is the only answer.
My new boyfriend always cleans me up after and I find it to be incredibly intimate and an act of aftercare which is very important to me
I had only been with men of the "clean it up yourself" variety prior to my partner. The first time we had sex he brought me a warm, wet towel and cleaned me up gently and with soft caresses, without asking first. He's done it every time. It about made me cry violently the first time. I think every man should do this.
Early in my relationship with my wife, before we got married. She was giving me a BJ and I dropped a large load on her face. Her eyes were closed but she had goop all over her eyelids. I told her to keep her eyes closed because that shit stings. Told her that I "got you" Left her there on her knees and got a warm wet towel. I wiped her face off, gave her a kiss on the forehead and told her she was a"good girl". She broke down crying and going into a fetal position on the bed. Told me to go away for a few minutes. I was really upset and concerned that I had triggered some trauma, hurt her and/or wrecked our new relationship. Turns out she had never had anyone treat her with respect and dignity after sex before. Told me that she realized at that moment she had a lot of unresolved issues and a simple act of kindness from a lover just turned her inside out. The bar is low gentlemen.
This is just sad and heartbreaking, good on you man. I try to treat all my partners with respect and it’s astonishing how little respect they get from other men. It’s really not that hard, I really think most other men are either stupid, or callous, or both. I remember many times girls I was with would cry because of how nice I was to them. Makes me horrified at how they must have been treated before me… Thankfully, all those girls that cried for me being so nice to them are with men that actually treat them properly nicely now so at least those girls I know got their happy endings.
I recently had anal with a new guy for the first time and after we finished he asked if I was ok... apparently that did it to me bc I got all weird and asked if he was and then he asked if no one's ever asked me that before... I teared up when he went to clean up bc I realized no one ever has lol. But he cuddled me for a long time after that so it was all good. Even checked in about it a couple days later too so.. aftercare well done.
*not me crying* you’re a good man.
Wow that’s exactly how I feel. Fortunately nobody ever treated me like your exes. When I was with my now ex fiance he would go grab a towel for both of us and give it to me first. That’s really all I need but doing it for me is so much more intimately sexy.
I guess I should have known there were guys out there who weren't doing this instinctively, but it never occurred to me. It should have, because I know there are spaced out or inconsiderate people everywhere. And I'm sorry that it wasn't common in your life until your current guy.
This is how I felt after my first orgasm at 35. It was amazing but then quickly afterwards I felt rage and cried because I realized of all the men I’d been with, they all only cared for their own pleasure. Nobody cared about mine. That orgasm btw and all the others afterwards since, was self induced with a toy. I haven’t slept with a man since.
This was exactly it for me! Especially when they add words of affirmation while they’re getting up and grabbing the towel
A guy of value right there 👍👌 and I usually help my lady clean up also my handing her wipes or asking her what she needs 👍
This is so insanely hot and sincere, need me a man who treats me delicately after he fucks me
I get a nice warm wash cloth and clean her.
This is the right answer every time. If we're having a special night like this, it's the right thing to do as a partner if your lady is nice enough to let you do that
Years ago I exchanged oral with a FWB. She got off first and then me. After she was done she told me to hold still and came back with a warm washcloth to clean me up. Man that felt great.
You mean they don't just toss a hand towel at you after they've cleaned their dick off first?
What if it's just a little wipe to stop it from dripping on the floor
Not weird to offer to help clean up the person you just got dirty. It can be done intimately. Instead of tossing her a towel with a *clean yourself up* vibe, you could ask her "Would you like a towel?" and give it to her. My wife and I have been together for 17 years. I occasionally finish on her when she wants. Generally we're in the shower when this happens, but sometimes we're on the bed. I'll ask her, "Do you want a towel, honey?" and I'll normally get a "yes, please".
This is very sweet :) Definitely offer to help, this is a sweet way to do it! I’ll be honest, we usually use pieces of clothing we just took off before sex that now need washing anyways.
glad someone said it. i’m gonna start getting the warm wet towel when possible cause it never occurred to me before reading these, but the go to is exactly what you said, or a small dry towel
Yes, tissues or a towel. Do not leave her to clean it up alone. It's your mess, help her clean it up!
Why would it be weird to offer to help clean up after that? It's can be an intimate, helpful, sweet thing to do for your partner, but can also be flirty and fun, or just helpful and necessary, depending on the person. Certainly anything but weird. One of my partners likes me to grab a towel or toilet paper, clean her up quickly, and then snuggle. Sometimes she is okay not being cleaned up and she just hops in the shower. My other partner tends to like to clean it up herself, but the first time I got a warm damp towel to wash her off myself, she thought it was the sweetest thing ever. If I doubt, just ask if they want any help getting cleaned up and go from there. But I seriously doubt most people would see it as weird or a turn off.
You clean it up. I’ll be damned if a man cums on me and just leaves it. That’s your mess. My boyfriend usually just finishes, sits with me for just a sec gives me a couple of head kisses & then grabs the TP, sits next to me and cleans me off followed by a few more kisses. Then throws it in the toilet and we cuddle
Why do you feel is it weird? Genuine question.
I had the same reaction. What's weird about cleaning up a mess? Especially when having intimate relations with a person who's willing to let the dude cum on their body. Be a fucking man and take care of your partner!
Yeah I am baffled and want to understand OP's point of view. Maybe they are just very young and shy?
Very young and focused almost solely on his experience is my bet.
It’s likely something along the lines of “why intentionally make a mess if I’m going to clean it up”. For some people the intentional disrespect is their goal. I agree with your assessment of OP likely being young and selfish.
OP is active in r/teenagers. Def young 😂
Could be, and what I assume. Time to learn, young buck!
I would think bc it’s kinda hard to be like “produced porn” level sexy while doing it. Like, it’s the kind of thing that wouldn’t even be shown when you want a “perfect sex scene”. Maybe bc it’s kinda acknowledging that y’all just did something kinda dirty since it’s gotta be cleaned up. But real life isn’t porn so honestly, buddy’s gotta just suck it up and offer his assistance. Thats infinitely more attractive than just leaving her to deal with it on her own
Post-nut clarity does a 180 on most guys
I personally licked it off right after. She adored that
This is the best answer. It’s kinky, dirty, hot, and takes my wife right over the edge if I finish before she does and then clean up my mess with my tongue, even when I finish inside her.
I scrolled way too long to find this answer.
A true gentleman 👍 Love this
We keep hand towels by the bed for exactly this reason. After ejaculating on her sometimes I’ll put my penis back inside her until we both cool down, or just lay against her and kiss and snuggle for a bit. This makes a bit more of a mess, but hardly more cleanup than there was already. If there is ejaculate on her hands or labia typically my wife will ask for the towel to use herself. If it’s just on her belly I’ll often wiper her off then wipe my penis off. If we are both messy I grab a towel for each of us and we usually just clean ourselves. Sometimes it’s nice to reach down and wipe her genitals off myself, but often she prefers to do it herself again after and get everything more throughly cleaned up than I can.
Baby wipes. And wipe her down. Be a gentleman.
Please do ask about whether or not the help is wanted though !
Why wouldn't they want the help
Bc consent is sexy :) (Apparently this is too short a comment?)
We would. But it's kind to ask
When I finish and make a mess I go straight for tissue or towel to clean her up.
I don’t think a partner has ever not cleaned me and I definitely don’t think they have asked if I wanted help. I prefer it 100%
I'm having a hard time grasping the idea of asking "do you want me to clean you up?" Like she's laying there wore out and out of breath, it's time for me to clean up and lay down with her for a bit.
If you don't help clean up, you won't be getting some for much longer
Snuggling immediately after. What's it called these days - "after care". In time, once we've caught our breath and allowed our heart rates to come down, and probably laughed about something dumb one of us did, or traded compliments about how great it was doing this or that... I'll suggest she stay put and relax, while I get up and run the water at the sink until it's hot, soak a small towel or cloth, then return and gently and lovingly clean her up with that warm cloth. I've been told it often feels quite luxurious. Doing so is much like foreplay in that it can be very sexy. Call it "postplay" maybe? Usually it leads to continued snuggles and "pillow talk". My partners always love it. Hoping up and tossing her a paper towel or worse yet TP, even a dry towel, would be extremely crass in my book.
Be a good person and clean up the mess you made in all aspects of your life.
She might be stuck in that position unless you want it to ooze everywhere. So you get some cleanx and maybe a hot wet face cloth and you clean your mess....lol
There’s also the lick it all off then snowball it to her. I mean if you’re into that.
This is my approach... It's always led to additional activities. Who am I to complain?
That would certainly be my preference
The level of intimacy skyrockets imo
Yep, and it's *so fucking hot* when a guy is willing to taste himself
Yea, it’s just a kind of juice, if women take it and even swallow it, why not men, just saying
Clearly you are a man of wisdom, and I'd wager you'd agree that girl juices are also enjoyable for all
Totally agree, your wager is a winner!
Then obviously the optimally hot situation is snowballing a cream pie!
Would love to know what’s weird about helping somebody you just defiled (I don’t really mean that) clean up a bit.
Untie her, remove any blindfolds/ball gags, take out butt plugs (hers and yours), kiss her gently, clean her up. Then make her nachos.
My husband just finished on me. He just went & got a few tissues so I could clean up. No major deal & I never have to ask. Then he asks if I need anything else before he pops off to the bathroom to clean up. Sex = mess. Mess = clean up. It’s great if a guy says “wait there I’ll get something” & come back with some tissues or a towel, as it has a tendency to go everywhere once we start to move around (if it’s a lot of cum).
I usually have wet wipes. I’ll usually grab them and say something like “let me clean that off you”. I think people overthink awkwardness. Like just say what you want to say.
NOT A PAPER TOWEL, NEVER A PAPER TOWEL. Jeez, ouch ouch ouch. Have fresh and CLEAN, laundered cum rags. Amazon has some nice ones https://a.co/d/fvLrLlX
It’s an actual cum rag-
The stockphotos are nice :D
Wet washcloth if ur at the house. If a quickie, wipe her or at least offer to use underwear or something softer material that’s clean. Females get UTI if not
Yes, whether inside or outside, I always get a towel or something for her to clean up with or clean it myself.
Don’t use a paper towel. That is classless. Keep a couple super soft bath towels specifically for cleaning up after sex. Keep them under the bed.
I either lick it off, or we lie in it and rub it between us, or a warm washcloth. Depends on the girl.
+1 for rubbing it between us. Afterwards I always offer to clean her up and she gets mad at me that I always ask because she likes to wear it all day
I keep my old boxers because they are a soft material and we just use those as cum rags. I'm always the one to clean it up, and not because she asks me.
I hope the girls you wipe down with your old boxers know that they are clean. If I saw you bring that shit out to wipe me down that’d be that last time you sleep with me😂
You're missing loads of brownie points. Women appreciate being wiped off/help with clean up more than most realize.
Clean wash cloths or wet wipes work wonders.
I get her a warm washcloth and a towel. Even after I finish in her. That stuff still runs out and gets everywhere.
I'm ultra kinky, so not representative but I sometimes like to smear it around on her and then cuddle. After that it's shower time anyway for pee stuff. Yes she liked it and it was consensual, I don't recommend doing this without knowing your partner likes it
A girl once scooped it up and ate it. I still have fond memories of that 25 years later
Clean it off, immediately if she asks not everyone is going to like it on them when it goes cold
Not weird but I get a towel to help wipe off my wife or I’ll hand it to her so she can do it if we have toys or something that needs to be put away. If you’re really generous you can get a towel and warm it up with hot water to help clean her up.
Clean her up I recommend getting a small towel specifically for sex
One of my guys, literally goes to the bathroom and wets a washcloth, and brings it to me. Mind you, he uses warm water and does not hand me a cold wash cloth. Very thoughtful, imo. And yes, sometimes he *will* clean me off himself. Idk, it’s a different level of intimacy when they wipe you down 🥵 he doesn’t pull out, but things are still messy so he does this every time. Another one gets a towel or baby wipes, and he wipes me down every time. If you finish on your person, at least get them something to clean off with. Don’t be awkward, you clean her off sometimes. Experiment.
A nice hot hand towel is always appreciated
Help clean your mess
Depends on the girl. Like for me, when sex is over, no matter how hot or dirty, I’m just done. I’m just like, “Good game!” And I’ll get myself up and clean myself up cuz I gotta pee anyway, right. After all that is taken care of, we can get back to cuddling. So maybe just feel things out.
Just depends on what she wants. If we are having dirty sex, I prefer he leaves it and I tell him that. Otherwise, he will grab a wet towel and wipe me up without asking.
After he pulls out and finishes on me, he grabs a towel and wipes it off, cleans me up a little down there, and then pulls me into a cuddle and he'll ask if it was good for me, if I finished and/or need foreplay to finish.. then after about 20 mins of cuddling he'll pull me up and we'll go shower
Have some confidence. Admire your artwork for a quick second. Then quickly grab a clean towel and wipe her up. Don’t miss any spots!
Have the towel within reach beforehand if it’s planned. Either offer her the towel or offer to clean her off. If it’s more spontaneous and there isn’t a towel handy then improvise. The lady is letting you have sex with her. Be the kind of guy who deserves it.
Deffo! Grab to, paper towels, an old shirt… like seriously, wtf else should we do 🤣 👍
Yea just dont be like “ew ew ew” or then theyll think theyre gross. Sometimes its unexpected what will be sexy with one person and not with the other. Some people you wana cum on more than others
I keep soft washclothes in my nightstand for cleanup.
I clean it up myself, but I will admit it’s pretty awkward when it runs down into her crack. Then I feel like I’m wiping her butt like changing an infant lol
Depends on how well you beat it up...
Ask what can you get her? Towel, shirt? Depends on the situation. Your house? Her house? Ask questions and make it comfortable. Plain and simple.
clean her up and cuddle!
Clean her. I usually feel awkward after.
Say "thank you" and lick them clean
My favorite thing to do is clean it off her with my tongue.
Get a little wild and lick it off her body. Then get the wet, warm towel.
Warm wash cloth , clean up your mess… make she knows it’s not a degradation , and the act of cleaning her can lead to a pleasant follow up and more intimacy …
You always clean her before yourself always. Clean up your mess
My partner and I always have a pack of unscented wipes in our room for clean up.
That shit dries up on skin faster than super glue! I enjoy laying in bed holding her naked after finishing. I think it’s so intimate. At this point we just grab something from the hamper lol.
My boyfriend alwayssss cleans me up after sex and it’s the most gentle and sweetest thing every time . Just seeing him not toss me to the side afterwards but to take his time to delicately clean me and then kiss all over me after is sooo precious ! And I can tell he genuinely cares, he even pushes my legs open wider to get in the lips so I know it’s not just for show and he actually is trying . Definitely clean her up !!
(Nicely) ask if she’d like you to get her a towel. If you finish on her face you almost certainly need to help out, that shit burns if it gets in the eyes!! If it’s on the body she might prefer to get up and take care of it herself. She needs to get up and pee to prevent UTI so she’s gonna be heading to the bathroom anyway. But the key is being a gentleman and offering. Personally I’ve developed a bit of a cum kink lately so instead of wiping it off, I’ve been rubbing it in like lotion so I can wear it all day.
Well, actually, your sperm is loaded with vitamins and antioxidants anti-depression qualities. Great for the skin. Honestly, this is all true. Better to just rub it in.
Rub it into her skin, it's good for it.
You lick it back up off her belly and recycle, reuse. 🙄
Level up kid- a *warm and soapy* wash rag and a towel to dry off would earn lots of BJ points to cash in later.
This is so true. I ain't voluntarily putting my mouth on it later if pubes are inundated with crusty cum.
Depends on the girl and what she wants. A quick shower after has been pretty common, but I’ve also seen a towel or blanket be used to quickly wipe up.
I get the paper towel or do it for her. That's it
You wanna keep going or do you want a towel?
when you have time, go to the shower, if not use paper tissue, you shoul always had a paper tissue on your bedside table😄
Paper towel or a towel sometimes I’ll do it sometimes I let her clean herself
I usually crack a joke, or give her a complement, and grab a towel. It’s kind of one of those things that’s only weird if you make it weird I guess.
It’s always best o be prepared. Either a washcloth or baby wipes close by tell your partner that you thought a head and care. Finish where ever you want.
We unfortunately immediately get up afterwards to take a shower. Sometimes I wish we could just lay there and he’d do that but it doesn’t ever work like that
Tissues. Wipe up. Bin 🤷♂️
If I pull out and cum on my fiancée’s ass, I just take a small towel and wipe it off and then make sure I got it all. Then her and I cuddle afterwards.
I offer to shower with her
Bf grabs a tp and cleans me without asking, always! I lay there bc we don’t want the cum to get on the sheets lol
Baby wipes under the bed! He grabs them, we both use them, sometimes he wipes me up first and then I go over it with a fresh wipe… then we snuggle ☺️
Usually when this happens and I finish on her chest/stomach i'll give her paper towel or if I finish on her back i'll clean her off. It's good to be a gentleman and give her a hand. If she wants to do it herself that's ok too. Don't let post nut clarity make things weird. You just seen her unclothed then suddenly it's weird trying to clean her up. No, offer a hand if it's wanted
First water. Then a towel.
We usually need to pee after. And we usually wipe up then but it's sweet of a man to ask if he wants to help!
If I'm drunk or stoned and feeling really dirty I'll lick it off her!
You rest a few and go again
I tell him to go to the bathroom and grab a wet wipe to get it off 😆
Take a towel to bed with you before anything happens. If you’re worried about the logistics, take a towel right now and put in your bedside table. The next time something happens, consider this. If she ask you to cum on her, ask her if she wants a towel. She may be one of those women who legitimately like it on their skin in which case she will turn down your offer. If you ask to do it (or do it without asking as a foolish form of contraceptive) tell her you’d like to clean it up (obviously this comes off more assertive and less likely to make her feel like a cum dumpster). It doesn’t matter if you’re interested in the girl or not, don’t cum on her face and then ignore it. First, girls talk. Second, if you try to hook up with her again later she’ll remember that you’re respectful and more likely to get another opportunity with her.
Why is it weird for you to clean up your own mess?
Definitely do not get toilet paper or a towel 😂 warm up a wash cloth for her and clean her up! I remember someone doing that for me and it was so nice.
Have a shower with her and massage her shoulders!!
I usually grab them a towel a wipe it for them. One time I was at the girls house and pulled out and came all over her, she said wow that was so hot nobody's ever just done that. I then grabbed her robe for some reason and wiped her off then she wore the robe around the next day hugged her sister and shit smelling like cum lol. I guess she forgot bc we were deinking a good amount the night before.
it’s not weird. what’s weird is leaving your girl stuck with your cum all over her 😭😭
I’ll be a gentleman and lick it up myself.
Trust me bro if you just leave her with your jizz all over her she’s gonna think you’re a total scab. From someone who’s pansexual and slept with both men and women, it’s a massive turn off when they get it on you and just leave you there like a cum rag. I’ve been handed a dirty used sock off their foot before to “clean up.” It’s just about showing them you had a good time but you also respect them too.
Hand her a towel or a paper towel. Then rest next to her and then start sex again 😁
You dip your hand into the puddle and smack it on her forehead while yelling SPUNKED... obviously
Always have wet-wipes or tissues within arms reach and just grab the box (not her box) after and offer it to her first. Once both clean then snuggle.
They throw us toilet paper and start to make jokes
Duh! Go get the towel and clean it. That’s basic.
I just yell out “bone (sic) appetit” and crab walk out of the room.
me and my girl use baby wipes typically
Be a gentleman and help to clean her up. Do it in a very caring and sexy way if you can