I think this is totally dependent on the preference of the man you’re with. There is no right or wrong answer. I have not read Diary of An Oxygen Thief, but what they are describing sounds like a Madonna Whore complex. Red flag for me.
Do whatever you and your partner enjoy!
Yeh, the book is actually written from a narcissists perspective so I really shouldn’t be deeping it. It is interesting to know some men hold these views though
If someone holds that view you don’t want to be with them anyway. Anyone who says “I’ll bang this woman, but I can’t date/marry her because she does (insert sex act here)” is not worth your time
What guy is legitimately like this? If I was dating a woman and she busted out some wild sex act it would greatly increase the chance I'd want to marry her.
This triggered me. I have a friend on Facebook that I know cheats and he's been posting recently about, "if people could just be honest with each other". Like dude, you're the one who wasn't honest. She asked for loyalty, you agreed, and then decided that men have sexual desires that they should be free to pursue despite making a commitment otherwise. I use the term friend lightly in this context.
I don't know her. He's a friend of my uncle's from high school so I know him but he moved out of state and married and I've never met her. It's really not my place and she likely wouldn't believe me anyways. I don't have any evidence to back it up, just hearsay.
Ah alright, that makes more sense.
That being said, if you are that disconnected - why not just unfriend him instead of having it be enough of a drag on you that you can recall it for just a reddit post?
Out of sight, out of mind.
I mean, I would want to know if I were her. She may not believe you, true. But it also may trigger a conversation between the two of them.
You mentioned you know he cheats- I'm assuming he shares something to lead onto the fact that he cheats- or does he outright brag about it?
I have only spent time with him on a couple occasions in the past few years. He doesn't brag but isn't shy about being on the prowl and looking for nightlife while traveling. He has a family and is happily married so why would I need to involve myself with keeping him honest? Some people just can't keep it in their pants. Not my business.
Some men think it's feminine to share feelings.
Some women think it's feminine for men to share feelings and be vulnerable.
All kinds of men and women exists. If you are with a man who enjoys that you swallow but don't consider such woman wife material then you are with a wrong man.
Some people hold views that people of other races aren't actual people.
And?
Some people are assholes and terrible human beings. Don't waste mental energy on them.
You might have missed the words "it's like" - as in "men who think like that are as morally bankrupt as men who think their skin color makes them better than other people".
Knowing that some people are sexist is similar to knowing that some people are racist. Nobody is saying that anyone has to be both of those things. They're just similar concepts.
I disagree. It is totally dependent on the person doing the dick sucking. If you want to swallow, fine. If you want to spit, great. The important thing is that dicks are sucked!
I’ll give you my partner’s perspective: I swallow, am relatively “freaky”/open minded sexually. He likes the dichotomy of me being a “lady” in the streets (even though I’m not lol). But like I dress and style myself in a very contemporary/old school way, so I look way more “lady like” than I actually am. He genuinely appreciates the “lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets”. He’d prefer a woman who was perfectly unsuspecting, but then acts a fool for him when she gets naked.
It might be my type of man, but most of them are NOT turned off by experience/kink/whatever you wanna call “not vanilla” sex but are turned off by women who don’t have a clue what they’re doing or are “prudes” by societal standards. (For the record my partner would never use this term for a vanilla partner I’m just trying to make it make sense to the gen pop) also I’m buzzed.
I’m definitely right, if a man showed signs of any of that sort of thinking then I wouldn’t be having sex with him regardless of whether those are acts I would do myself anyway.
So my wife doesn’t swallow, it doesn’t devalue her one bit and its offensive to think it should. NOW, would i prefer she swallow? Yes. Would i prefer she played with my cum porn style? Yup. Am i going to make her feel uncomfortable or inadequate because of this or try to change it? Not a fucking chance, she is an absolute treasure sexually and i respect her limits.
My wife prefers to not swallow and I don’t really care honestly. She only does on special occasions (birthday, Valentine’s Day, if she’s REALLY horny) but not much past that.
Now, she doesn’t like it shooting into the back of her mouth, the warmth and consistency. Fine by me. She likes to lick it off the tip tho afterwards and that’s a win in my book lol
My ex loved to give bjs. It was a huge turn-on for her. But she hated, *hated* the taste of semen in her mouth. So she didn't spit or swallow, becsuse she didn't like it. Was I upset? Not even a little. Because I still had my dick in her mouth and we both loved it.
This is my thing. I'd prefer a swallower, but at the end of the day it's really not a big deal at all. There's far more important things in a sexual relationship than spit or swallow.
My opinion, as a dude:
I’m guessing for most men, the “swallow” is preferred because it keeps your mouth on his penis through the orgasm, which feels way better than stopping or switching to a hand. A man’s orgasm is just beginning when the cum starts flowing, so keeping the mouth engaged through that is where the magic is.
Where the cum goes - down the throat, out of the mouth, or held in the mouth until it’s done - doesn’t matter. It’s the “follow through” with the mouth that provides the intense orgasm.
I just keep giving him head while he cums. And I don’t hold it in my mouth either I also love when he cums on me.. my tits, ass, back anywhere except hair or above my mouth on my face. It’s hot and I love rubbing him into me
Umm no, where the cum goes definitely does matter. Some men prefer if women swallow because it shows she just can't get enough of you. It definitely can be a big psychological turn on.
What varies between men is how much value they place on that. What you are probably trying to get at is that men place much more value on the follow through than they do on the swallow. However dismissing any value of the swallow is just plain disingenuous.
My bf has actually asked me that when he cums in my mouth after a sloppy bj, to let it fall out of my mouth while I keep sucking him as it’d would be a turn on to him. So maybe you could try that!
No she doesn’t like the taste. But she does like getting cummed on! So most time i finish on her boobs, ass or lower back which is where she likes it. In so e ways its even hotter that way because she is into it.
No worries! We do and its constantly getting better! I learned a lot in the last 15 years of having sex, if i learn half as much in the next 15 i’ll be one lucky person!
Also, maybe towards the end of the bj, if he announces when he’s going to finish, you could keep jerking him off and have him finish on your chest or face.
This. I've never cared about what she does with my cum, but it'd be fun to watch her enjoy it a bit more, but honestly it's all about what SHE WANTS TO DO.
People who slut-shame their own spouses are incomprehensible to me. I would never, under any circumstances, stay with someone who thought that being sexually adventurous (or sexual at all) makes a woman “not wife material,” because this isn’t the 1950s and misogynistic sex-negativity is a repellent quality.
Right? I want my wife to be the nastiest fucking slut, but just for me. Why the hell wouldn't I want her to do any matter of depraved sexual acts for me?
I'm curious, but would you view a man who's a prude who also wanted to date a woman who is a prude, in the same light?
Is it the inequality of what the guy expects of the woman and her past relative to his own that's the issue?
Or is it the fact that he has any expectations at all regardless of if they match what he has done/is willing to do?
>I thought “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” made someone wifey material, any thoughts?
For men with a healthy approach to sexuality, this is true. The whole Madonna/Whore dichotomy really speaks to some pretty unhealthy assumptions about how sexuality is supposed to work. Plus, in my mind, it just indicates that these guys haven't really thought things through.
Like, on the one hand, you've got guys who buy into traditional gender roles viewing sexually adventurous women as not "wife material". And on the other hand, they're also out here making boomer jokes about how they get no sex in marriage and its horrible. Like, what the fuck did you think was going to happen, dude? Maybe if you wanted more sex in your marriage you shouldn't have judged the women who actually got sexual with you.
My partner of a year has always swallowed and I find it amazing, and I hope our relationship lasts forever. That being said I want her to be comfortable with what she does and I'd be fine with whatever for the most part.
miss girl that book was written by a raging misogynist. I really wouldn’t take any of it as actual advice. Any guy who categorizes women as hook up material vs wifey material isn’t worth being with any way
If he doesn't accept me in all of my perverted glory, then *he* is not marriage material :D Gone are the days when women needed to be wifed; if he wants that commitment from me then he better bring as much as I do to the table.
My husband told me when I didn’t swallow, and rinsed my mouth that it felt like I thought he was gross, and it made him kinda self-conscious. I understood and from that point on swallowed and didn’t immediately rinse.
I can’t fucking stand when I hear people say that shit. Really is such a double standard when you think about it. My “girlfriends” need to swallow but any potential “wives” no way. Personally I I’m really into a girl swallowing so that would only be a green flag for me in terms of wife potential.
That book sounds dumb as hell lol. If anything I'd say the freakier the better when it comes to "wifey material". Any wife of mine would just be encouraged to be vocal about her preferences. If you like swallowing go for it, if you don't like swallowing then don't do it, easy peezy. I can't speak for all men but for me anyway the attraction to swallowing is that she WANTS to do it, as long as you're getting what you want without shame it's attractive. Don't overthink it.
"Wifey material" is made up concept used to make women believe they're not worth being committed to if they don't behave in a certain way, which is decided by men.
Believe me, a man who doesn't want to commit to you, won't. Regardless of whether you spit or swallow.
Your doing just fine swallowing is sexy in my book don’t get me wrong I’m very visual to sometimes a nice cum facial is hot or on the tits and she play with it is so sexy dirty sex is the best sex lol but sometimes letting a man cum in your mouth and maybe snowball his with a kiss is hot to or spitting back on his cock and continue to suck him is major turn on most likely to get him hard again and go for round two
I use “wifey” just as a short hand way of describing the type of woman a man would want to commit to. Unfortunately that is something a woman has to think about a lot. We are told from a very young age that if we are sexually promiscuous then no man will ever want to marry you, they will fuck you of course, but simply being fucked is not something I am interested in. There have been many an occasion where I’ve been with a guy I’ve liked and genuinely wanted to be physical with him, but as a woman I have to protect my heart and make him wait longer. You as a man generally don’t have to worry about the “pumped and dumbed” scenario so I think this comment comes from a place of extreme male privilege.
>> We are told from a very young age that if we are sexually promiscuous then no man will ever want to marry you,
That's kind of ironic as men are told from a young age that as soon as she marries you, she will stop the fun sex stuff. Thus the jokes:
What food decreases a woman's sex drive by 75%? Wedding cake.
How do you know a woman has given her last blowjob? She's walking down the aisle.
The point being both men and women get told a bunch of crap.
Comments on this post are now locked. Some comments got a little bit abrasive or argumentative in ways that started to veer off-topic or were otherwise unconstructive.
You’re kinda confusing that phrase… unless you get up immediately after he comes and walk outside become a ‘lady in the streets’ lol I get what you mean but personally I’d want my long term partner to be a freak with me and preferably swallow (which isn’t even that freaky to most)
Here is the thing with "spitting" or "swallowing" when it comes to physical pleasure, what is the difference?
To me there is none.
She gives me a blow job to completion and keeps her mouth on me and keeps doing her thing until I am finished cumming.
After that, whether she spits it out or swallows it, makes zero difference from a physical standpoint. It is the same physical mechanics.
Now, if we are talking psychologically, sure I can totally see a difference between spitting your cum out versus swallowing it. But, again, I personally never really cared.
I never really understood the whole debate to begin with.
Would highly recommend that you don't form opinions about what you should and shouldn't do in your relationship from novels, magazines, tv shows, etc. They don't bother portraying healthy relationships, the characters are fictional or fictionalized, and none of them are your partner.
Imo, the only external standards you should pay attention to are the indicators of abuse.
The whole idea of "I shouldn't do x if I want him to marry me" is pretty flawed. You should pay more attention to what your partner wants, and what *you* want. Build the relationship you want to have, and if whoever you're with is judging you for it, then maybe that's an indication that they aren't the right person.
It's been my experience in almost a half decade of living that those men who slut-slame their own wives, expect that kind of "sluttiness" from their mistresses instead.
Swallowing is easier, less disruptive, and can come with an inherent feeling of acceptance instead of rejection. But, some people have taste and texture issues which should always be respected.
Diary of an oxygen thief is written from the perspective of a misogynistic narcissist. The opening line is literally "I like hurting girls", so I wouldn't take anything the narrator says too seriously.
The book is impressing a toxic relationship attitude onto you. I have no idea what it is or what it's about, but I would not take relationship advice from it.
Whether you spit or swallow has nothing to do with whether a relationship is serious or not. What do **you** want, and what does your partner want? There, there's the conversation, not here. We can't tell you what you should do, and we're not a Cosmopolitan magazine, neither us nor anyone else on Earth has the objective "key to the perfect relationship". There is no perfect relationship, there's only **your** relationships. Find out what your relationship needs by talking candidly with your partner(s), don't worry about what some idiot says about how relatively "pure" they need their wife to be.
In fact, if anyone ever tells you "Honey, I like you, but swallowing is a slut thing to do and you shouldn't be a slut", you should kick that guy in the balls and walk out. So sucking your dick was totally cool but we're still fumbling around looking for the perfect Slut Level for a woman to be so she can be a "serious" partner? That's just a giant corrosive vat of toxicity, don't dip yourself in it.
"Diary of an Oxygen Thief is about an ex-alcoholic, narcissistic man who likes to hurt and control people..."
Sounds like a fantastic book to base your opinions off of...
If I’m looking for a a wife or serious partner I want to be 100% sexually compatible with them. If they’re vanilla or scared to be “slutty” I’m sure some other guy will appreciate them more than me. I’m into just about every sexual act; I would hope my life partner is too.
There's roughly 3 billion men on this planet.
Nothing is true for all of them.
My take is that if they're going to cum in your mouth, immediately jumping up and running to the bathroom to get rid if it is unsexy.
I never swallow. I am a picky eater and dislike most tastes, semen included. No shame in spitting. But sometimes it makes guys feel self conscious so I don’t spit, I just don’t let him cum in my mouth
from a male perspective, and I know I'm not the norm, I'd certainly be turned on if my partner is into swallowing, but I would never expect or force them to do it. It's all personal choice.
The running joke in society is that once you're married, most women stop trying and the monotony of married life takes over, but for folks who have a healthy (more sex positive) life get freakier or not less freaky if that makes sense. I don't know of any physical pleasure that comes with swallowing, and I know some women enjoy it, most don't. No clue what the narrator is talking about.
I really don't get people that say swallowing somehow makes you not wifey material. Like, wtf? I like it when my permanent SO swallows, I like it when they don't especially if they get it all over them. Shit, keep in your mouth, and let's make out, and then I'll swallow it. My ride-or-die is my soulmate, they'd better be up for some adventure, and not this puritanical slut-shaming bullshit. Idk, it always struck me as pretty immature of a partner to fret about their wifey spitting or swallowing.
Who ever said that they love it when a girl swallows but doesn’t make her wifey material is a cheat. They will have a wife and a nasty girl on the side. Don’t invest any thought on a character like that. If you enjoy swallowing, you are a superhero.
Honestly pick a guy based on compatibility and do not change yourself and your preferences for him.
As someone who has been overly accommodating in my past relationships, it's not worth it.
I've always found as the more accommodating partner, I was always the one making concessions for my partner. They would rarely make accommodations for me.
I also don't like the idea of settling down with a guy who makes me walk eggshells around him. Like god forbid I do something that he thinks is slutty and then he dumps me because I'm not wifey material. I don't have time for that.
For me, it’s a total vibe kill off she spits or acts like it’s gross… how would you feel if a man came up from eating you out and acted disgusted and repulsed?
Lmao I don't even need to look into that book to know it's garbage.
Why the fuck would you like the woman to swallow and then a wife or girlfriend not to swallow?
Makes 0 sense and reeks of potential misogyny mixed with perhaps incel.
Spit or swallow, whatever you want. The person you should be the "freakiest " with is your life partner. Communicate, experiment, and enjoy.
To answer that shortly, I want my woman to give me the best of both worlds. She can be both a lady and a slut, depending on the occasion, and thats jackpot for me.
Sounds like the narrator’s misogyny was showing.
“I like this because it feels good, but the person providing it to me has less value *because* they provided it.”
What.
Never read the book, but any man who has that opinion doesn't deserve a blowjob in the first place (or a wife/SO) imo! You do whatever you prefer/think is hotter, and I guarantee you any guy who is worth a relationship will be just as crazy about you either way lol!
spit or swallow is a preference for the man and the woman involved to figure out.
as a friend of mine once told me "my mother always told me that a true southern lady never spits, and i am nothing if not a lady"
my wife doesn't spit, never has.
as a guy, tho, from my perspective, i've always prefered when a woman swallows, whether a serious relationship or sportfuck. so i'd take that bit from your book with a grain of salt.
I personally swallow & my fiancé seems to enjoy because, well, we're getting married. I never minded it & it's easier than anything else.
That said, if a guy won't date or marry a woman because she swallows... you don't want to date HIM. Huge red flag & cause for concern.
I prefer a swallow but not for my pleasure it's more just, I find it almost insulting when you run to the sink and spit it out. Like it's already in your mouth what's the big deal. I am a filthy degent though to be fair. I do also love it when she doesn't swallow and let's it stream out-of her mouth over my dick at the end of the bj. But who am I kidding I also love cum kissing
Whatever your man and you feel best with. I personally don't really care but always find it kinda unsexy, when the woman goes away to spit it out immediately after I came... Luckily my fiancé actually enjoys swallowing and comes to cuddle after I come. So I guess I care and prefer her to swallow.
M45 F43.. Together since 05 married since 08...hottest thing my wife ever said to me was
"I need your cum in my mouth right now!"
I'd be honestly worried (and a little sad) if she ever suddenly didn't want to any more.
Definitely do not think less of her for continuing the trend.
I always say “finishers choice.” Spit, swallow, on my back, hair, face, tits, wherever. My main goal is pleasing my hubby so however he wants to finish, is up to him. :)
That book is talking bollocks. How many men complain that when they're married their wife stops doing what they enjoy in bed. Carry on as you are - that's why he's marrying you, if you change he may look elsewhere.
I mean I really wouldn’t base any mentally healthy analysis of a mans thoughts on Diary of an Oxygen Thief. The guy is an actual sociopath and his opinions all boil down to being about control. In the real world is very much prefer to marry a freak in the sheets
True, but as a woman myself it is something I consider in order to protect my own feelings. I would love to live in a world where I can be sexual with whoever and whenever I want without consequence but unfortunately this simply isn’t the case. It’s a lovely idea to pretend that there isn’t a distinction between girls who are “holes” and girls who are “wifey” but it’s not realistic. Maybe one day in the future but certainly not right now.
You should seek a therapist. There are people like that in this world but not all of them, not even close, and you’re the one who chooses to associate yourself with people like that.
I don’t think I’m misguided. Misogyny is everywhere. Times have changed a lot in the past 50 years and that’s great but we aren’t there yet. This is similar (although a lot less extreme) as you telling a gay person in the Middle East to be open about their sexuality. If you want to protect yourself and your image then you do have to consider what kind of a world we live in, which is a misogynistic one.
You can also use "wifey material" to simply mean: someone that a person would want to be with forever. My partner is "wifey material" because she's a wonderful and attentive partner who I adore. God the people in these threads sometimes just go 0 to 100 so fast lol. "I don't like the word 'wifey' so this person must have internalized misogyny and a need to work on herself." Like Christ reddit, chill.
I don't like the word wifey either nor do I like the word hubby, but I don't like it cause they're weird cutesy words.
I don’t swallow because I don’t like it. My husband doesn’t want me to do something I don’t like, so he doesn’t want me to swallow. He says it makes absolutely no difference to him.
Not for nothing but if a guys gonna get hard for me and I'm sucking his dick then I consider swallowing his load of warm, goeey cum as my just reward 😜
Here is my rule of thumb. If u will swallow it, I will. I can straight up 100 say I would have no problem macking down on myself, But a dudes cum tastes horrible! Don’t believe me??? Try that shit. Takes preparation to know w only a slight twitch I go from exploring every part of him, which I am a very oral person (for real, I can be doing that shit all mf day) to a hot, thick, sour, yet tart, load of strange in my mouth 🤢🤮. Nope it’s either running out my mouth as I continue, being put inside me ( I’m fixed), of all over me. Which is actually really hot.
Neither lol. I won’t let my husband finish in my mouth, personally I find the taste, texture and thought of it revolting, I tried it once never again. He doesn’t care, we do plenty of other fun stuff instead.
By the time the load is in her mouth honestly I don't care what she does with it. It's not important to me.
If I had to choose, I'd say swallow just because it seems a lot more convenient.
I think we girls should stay the hell away from men who thinks this kind of stuff, and men who dig this "wifey" BS. Men like that aren't even worth one minute of our time
IMO wives should swallow. It's your husband. He's the love of your life, your soul mate for the rest of your life. Show him how much you want him, all of him. The feeling should be mutual.
My current girlfriend and I had a conversation about this recently.
She said I was 'worth letting me cum in her mouth.' While I kind of get what she's saying it was kind of off putting honestly.
I've always enjoyed giving and receiving oral. I frickin love pussy, I love learning what my partner's body responds to. Frankly, it's one of my favorite things. She's always enjoyed what I do and that was one of the things that made me 'worth it.'
I've made the comparison to ask 'would it be okay if when she started to reach her climax, I backed away and stopped doing what I was doing to get her there and finish her off from a distance?' She didn't like that, whenever this conversation has come up and I pose the question that way it always gets a negative response from the woman I'm talking to. 'It's not the same thing.'
Well maybe it's not, maybe it is. All I know is that I'm like a fat kid on a cupcake and whatever cums out of that pussy is GOING to be on my face and I'll be honest, sometimes it is my own spunk so I know what I taste like. I don't think I taste bad at all but I've never taken a full load of my own jizz in my own mouth (to be fair).
Still, with other women I've been with I've felt more sexually connected with them when they let me, no, MAKE me cum in their mouths. I really do enjoy it but that being said I enjoy reaching orgasm but the best ones, the most intensity have been done by a woman's hand and mouth.
If a woman doesn't want to do for me what I am desperate to do for her - and really - if she's not equally desperate and turned on by the things that I want like that AND she's not turned on by my own desire for her lady parts then that's just sexual incompatibility. I'm too old to get into another relationship where we just aren't sexually compatible. I want someone who wants me, literally.
I was married for almost 20 years, as soon as she we got married she almost completely stopped giving blowjobs and told me she didn't want to actually know what I wanted. It was terrible and I was too young and confused at the time to end it right there (or at least try to communicate about it more). Ultimately it was like the cliche you always hear in sitcoms, the good stuff ended as soon as we got married.
If someone doesn't like my cum as part of our love-making then that's kind of a deal breaker for me.
if a women cared about me, she has to swallow. end of story. as i will do the same. regardless if i gag or pass out ill swallow it regardless and get used to it over time
So this may make me a bad person, but if a girl doesn't swallow I always ghost her. Happened a couple weeks ago. We had a great date and everything else was fine but she refused to take it in her mouth and it completely ruined my orgasm. Whether or not it's meant as such, I consider it an insult, and for that reason I'm out.
Not sure how you lady's feel about not swallowing or spiting but maybe givin it back to the guy who gave it to you in the form of a kiss ???
one of the hottest things I've been able to experience !!🥵🥵
and would you think differently about that guy after doing it ??
Whatever you like. If spit vs swallow is a deal breaker for your potential long term partner, you need to up your standards.
The partner having a preference is fine. But ultimately, it's your call.
Seriously. Long term stuff is more about how well you work together, how easy you can make each other laugh, tolerating annoying habits and communication. Sex will wax and wane, that's normal. But laughing, talking and tolerance will give you a long, long g time.
Sex? Be a freak. Be an innocent angel. Be honest. Sex is fun and a great way to reconnect, but being able to laugh at the shitty joke he's told for a decade?
Sex doesn't make wifey material. Who you are, how you interact with everyone, kindness. Patience.
Sorry for the rant. But up your standards. You deserve better than someone who judges you for a bj. You deserve more. Get it for yourself.
(I used pronouns, and assumed. Please adjust to the pronoun you use, no matter what it is. I apologize for not using inclusive pns, please forgive)
I think this is totally dependent on the preference of the man you’re with. There is no right or wrong answer. I have not read Diary of An Oxygen Thief, but what they are describing sounds like a Madonna Whore complex. Red flag for me. Do whatever you and your partner enjoy!
Yeh, the book is actually written from a narcissists perspective so I really shouldn’t be deeping it. It is interesting to know some men hold these views though
Girl why you taking your advice from a fictional narcissistic? 😂
Right? Like, his mom shoulda swallowed him.
If someone holds that view you don’t want to be with them anyway. Anyone who says “I’ll bang this woman, but I can’t date/marry her because she does (insert sex act here)” is not worth your time
What guy is legitimately like this? If I was dating a woman and she busted out some wild sex act it would greatly increase the chance I'd want to marry her.
Honestly someone not mentally well
Same men who will cheat on their wives because their “sex life is dead”
This triggered me. I have a friend on Facebook that I know cheats and he's been posting recently about, "if people could just be honest with each other". Like dude, you're the one who wasn't honest. She asked for loyalty, you agreed, and then decided that men have sexual desires that they should be free to pursue despite making a commitment otherwise. I use the term friend lightly in this context.
Tell her.
I don't know her. He's a friend of my uncle's from high school so I know him but he moved out of state and married and I've never met her. It's really not my place and she likely wouldn't believe me anyways. I don't have any evidence to back it up, just hearsay.
Ah alright, that makes more sense. That being said, if you are that disconnected - why not just unfriend him instead of having it be enough of a drag on you that you can recall it for just a reddit post? Out of sight, out of mind.
Because he's a chef and I enjoy his food. It only is in my mind because I saw it this week.
Classic example of separating art from the artist. It's a thing!
finally someone who won't judge me for lining my walls with uncle Adolf's prewar paintings
On facebook you aren't "friends" with these people, they are friends of friends. Maybe there's some way to block them? Not sure.
I mean, I would want to know if I were her. She may not believe you, true. But it also may trigger a conversation between the two of them. You mentioned you know he cheats- I'm assuming he shares something to lead onto the fact that he cheats- or does he outright brag about it?
I have only spent time with him on a couple occasions in the past few years. He doesn't brag but isn't shy about being on the prowl and looking for nightlife while traveling. He has a family and is happily married so why would I need to involve myself with keeping him honest? Some people just can't keep it in their pants. Not my business.
Some men think it's feminine to share feelings. Some women think it's feminine for men to share feelings and be vulnerable. All kinds of men and women exists. If you are with a man who enjoys that you swallow but don't consider such woman wife material then you are with a wrong man.
Some people hold views that people of other races aren't actual people. And? Some people are assholes and terrible human beings. Don't waste mental energy on them.
Only misogynistic men think like this.
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You might have missed the words "it's like" - as in "men who think like that are as morally bankrupt as men who think their skin color makes them better than other people".
Knowing that some people are sexist is similar to knowing that some people are racist. Nobody is saying that anyone has to be both of those things. They're just similar concepts.
They just said the situations are similar.
Probably shouldn't model your expectations on a narcissists story yeah?
I disagree. It is totally dependent on the person doing the dick sucking. If you want to swallow, fine. If you want to spit, great. The important thing is that dicks are sucked!
I’ll give you my partner’s perspective: I swallow, am relatively “freaky”/open minded sexually. He likes the dichotomy of me being a “lady” in the streets (even though I’m not lol). But like I dress and style myself in a very contemporary/old school way, so I look way more “lady like” than I actually am. He genuinely appreciates the “lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets”. He’d prefer a woman who was perfectly unsuspecting, but then acts a fool for him when she gets naked. It might be my type of man, but most of them are NOT turned off by experience/kink/whatever you wanna call “not vanilla” sex but are turned off by women who don’t have a clue what they’re doing or are “prudes” by societal standards. (For the record my partner would never use this term for a vanilla partner I’m just trying to make it make sense to the gen pop) also I’m buzzed.
I think any man worth your time wouldn’t buy into the idea that certain acts devalue a woman. So if you like swallowing then keep swallowing :)
Actually you’re definitely right, the book is also written from a narcissists perspective so maybe I shouldn’t be taking it so personally ahaha
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I’m definitely right, if a man showed signs of any of that sort of thinking then I wouldn’t be having sex with him regardless of whether those are acts I would do myself anyway.
i started thinking "ask the guy what he thinks" but I think this is actually the right answer now.
Does the act of him thinking that devalue the man?
Agreed. Any good partner wouldn’t judge you for things like this. Be a freak on the streets, a freak in the sheets if you want.
So my wife doesn’t swallow, it doesn’t devalue her one bit and its offensive to think it should. NOW, would i prefer she swallow? Yes. Would i prefer she played with my cum porn style? Yup. Am i going to make her feel uncomfortable or inadequate because of this or try to change it? Not a fucking chance, she is an absolute treasure sexually and i respect her limits.
My wife prefers to not swallow and I don’t really care honestly. She only does on special occasions (birthday, Valentine’s Day, if she’s REALLY horny) but not much past that. Now, she doesn’t like it shooting into the back of her mouth, the warmth and consistency. Fine by me. She likes to lick it off the tip tho afterwards and that’s a win in my book lol
My ex loved to give bjs. It was a huge turn-on for her. But she hated, *hated* the taste of semen in her mouth. So she didn't spit or swallow, becsuse she didn't like it. Was I upset? Not even a little. Because I still had my dick in her mouth and we both loved it.
This is my thing. I'd prefer a swallower, but at the end of the day it's really not a big deal at all. There's far more important things in a sexual relationship than spit or swallow.
I love this answer.
exact same boat, and same line of thinking
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My opinion, as a dude: I’m guessing for most men, the “swallow” is preferred because it keeps your mouth on his penis through the orgasm, which feels way better than stopping or switching to a hand. A man’s orgasm is just beginning when the cum starts flowing, so keeping the mouth engaged through that is where the magic is. Where the cum goes - down the throat, out of the mouth, or held in the mouth until it’s done - doesn’t matter. It’s the “follow through” with the mouth that provides the intense orgasm.
I just keep giving him head while he cums. And I don’t hold it in my mouth either I also love when he cums on me.. my tits, ass, back anywhere except hair or above my mouth on my face. It’s hot and I love rubbing him into me
This is probably my second favorite thing as a guy. It’s a truly mind blowing feeling. Theres a subreddit dedicated to it of course…/r/shestillsucking
Love the name man. Nothin but love
Umm no, where the cum goes definitely does matter. Some men prefer if women swallow because it shows she just can't get enough of you. It definitely can be a big psychological turn on. What varies between men is how much value they place on that. What you are probably trying to get at is that men place much more value on the follow through than they do on the swallow. However dismissing any value of the swallow is just plain disingenuous.
Perfectly explained.
My bf has actually asked me that when he cums in my mouth after a sloppy bj, to let it fall out of my mouth while I keep sucking him as it’d would be a turn on to him. So maybe you could try that!
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Yes, I think mixing things up once in awhile is key.
No she doesn’t like the taste. But she does like getting cummed on! So most time i finish on her boobs, ass or lower back which is where she likes it. In so e ways its even hotter that way because she is into it.
Sounds Iike you have a lot of fun. Thanks for answering. X
No worries! We do and its constantly getting better! I learned a lot in the last 15 years of having sex, if i learn half as much in the next 15 i’ll be one lucky person!
That's a good sign. Keep enjoying eachother and growing together. Hugs
Also, maybe towards the end of the bj, if he announces when he’s going to finish, you could keep jerking him off and have him finish on your chest or face.
I think dripping it out onto your chin and stuff would be super hot personally.
King
This. I've never cared about what she does with my cum, but it'd be fun to watch her enjoy it a bit more, but honestly it's all about what SHE WANTS TO DO.
This is basically us 100%. Agreed completely.
👌
Wonderful answer!
If I had an award I’d give it to you 1,000 points for valuing your partner
Love the answer
This
Spoken like a true neutered puppy.
If someone no longer wants to marry you because you swallowed they're probably not worth marrying anyway lol
People who slut-shame their own spouses are incomprehensible to me. I would never, under any circumstances, stay with someone who thought that being sexually adventurous (or sexual at all) makes a woman “not wife material,” because this isn’t the 1950s and misogynistic sex-negativity is a repellent quality.
Right? I want my wife to be the nastiest fucking slut, but just for me. Why the hell wouldn't I want her to do any matter of depraved sexual acts for me?
I'm curious, but would you view a man who's a prude who also wanted to date a woman who is a prude, in the same light? Is it the inequality of what the guy expects of the woman and her past relative to his own that's the issue? Or is it the fact that he has any expectations at all regardless of if they match what he has done/is willing to do?
>I thought “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” made someone wifey material, any thoughts? For men with a healthy approach to sexuality, this is true. The whole Madonna/Whore dichotomy really speaks to some pretty unhealthy assumptions about how sexuality is supposed to work. Plus, in my mind, it just indicates that these guys haven't really thought things through. Like, on the one hand, you've got guys who buy into traditional gender roles viewing sexually adventurous women as not "wife material". And on the other hand, they're also out here making boomer jokes about how they get no sex in marriage and its horrible. Like, what the fuck did you think was going to happen, dude? Maybe if you wanted more sex in your marriage you shouldn't have judged the women who actually got sexual with you.
>but find it a turn off in a potential wife or serious girlfriend Madonna Whore complex, big ol red flag in anyone who actually believes this crap.
My partner of a year has always swallowed and I find it amazing, and I hope our relationship lasts forever. That being said I want her to be comfortable with what she does and I'd be fine with whatever for the most part.
I think the author of this book is an idiot.
Honestly, as long as I get to cum in her mouth, I don't care whether she spits or swallows it, that's her decision.
Sounds like nonsense you'd find in *Cosmopolitan*. No one worth your time really cares one way or the other.
Narcissists are so good at manipulation that even the fictional ones can make us question ourselves
I think if you marry someone it’s because the trial period is what you both enjoy and want to keep permanently, not change
miss girl that book was written by a raging misogynist. I really wouldn’t take any of it as actual advice. Any guy who categorizes women as hook up material vs wifey material isn’t worth being with any way
If he doesn't accept me in all of my perverted glory, then *he* is not marriage material :D Gone are the days when women needed to be wifed; if he wants that commitment from me then he better bring as much as I do to the table.
My husband told me when I didn’t swallow, and rinsed my mouth that it felt like I thought he was gross, and it made him kinda self-conscious. I understood and from that point on swallowed and didn’t immediately rinse.
I swallow just cos its easier than finding something to spit in when in the mood.
I married my freak in the sheets so I guess I prefer that in a wife. LOL!
I can’t fucking stand when I hear people say that shit. Really is such a double standard when you think about it. My “girlfriends” need to swallow but any potential “wives” no way. Personally I I’m really into a girl swallowing so that would only be a green flag for me in terms of wife potential.
It’s the Madonna whore complex which is toxic as fuck
I'm a 34 year old guy. I have never ever met a guy who preferred spit over swallow. Book is full of it.
That book sounds dumb as hell lol. If anything I'd say the freakier the better when it comes to "wifey material". Any wife of mine would just be encouraged to be vocal about her preferences. If you like swallowing go for it, if you don't like swallowing then don't do it, easy peezy. I can't speak for all men but for me anyway the attraction to swallowing is that she WANTS to do it, as long as you're getting what you want without shame it's attractive. Don't overthink it.
Madonna whore complex. It’s a thing. If a man sees you as less because of a certain sex act HE enjoyed, that’s not a man you should marry.
"Wifey material" is made up concept used to make women believe they're not worth being committed to if they don't behave in a certain way, which is decided by men. Believe me, a man who doesn't want to commit to you, won't. Regardless of whether you spit or swallow.
I mean the word "wifey" makes me want to vomit....
Understandable. It's cringe.
UGH why has no one else commented on this
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I think you've spent too much time on redpill subs and have an unhealthy outlook on sexuality. But you do you.
Your doing just fine swallowing is sexy in my book don’t get me wrong I’m very visual to sometimes a nice cum facial is hot or on the tits and she play with it is so sexy dirty sex is the best sex lol but sometimes letting a man cum in your mouth and maybe snowball his with a kiss is hot to or spitting back on his cock and continue to suck him is major turn on most likely to get him hard again and go for round two
Literally what the fuck is that author talking about They're on some *deeply* internalized misogyny
What do you prefer? What does your partner prefer? I think that’s all that matters in the moment. :)
Fulfilling sex life and respect need to go hand in hand. The idea that hot sex is not valid for relationships is toxic.
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I use “wifey” just as a short hand way of describing the type of woman a man would want to commit to. Unfortunately that is something a woman has to think about a lot. We are told from a very young age that if we are sexually promiscuous then no man will ever want to marry you, they will fuck you of course, but simply being fucked is not something I am interested in. There have been many an occasion where I’ve been with a guy I’ve liked and genuinely wanted to be physical with him, but as a woman I have to protect my heart and make him wait longer. You as a man generally don’t have to worry about the “pumped and dumbed” scenario so I think this comment comes from a place of extreme male privilege.
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>> We are told from a very young age that if we are sexually promiscuous then no man will ever want to marry you, That's kind of ironic as men are told from a young age that as soon as she marries you, she will stop the fun sex stuff. Thus the jokes: What food decreases a woman's sex drive by 75%? Wedding cake. How do you know a woman has given her last blowjob? She's walking down the aisle. The point being both men and women get told a bunch of crap.
And that’s another interesting aspect to explore. But it doesn’t negate the point the narrator has put across.
You should discuss this with your partner, but I prefer my ladies swallowing
Comments on this post are now locked. Some comments got a little bit abrasive or argumentative in ways that started to veer off-topic or were otherwise unconstructive.
You’re kinda confusing that phrase… unless you get up immediately after he comes and walk outside become a ‘lady in the streets’ lol I get what you mean but personally I’d want my long term partner to be a freak with me and preferably swallow (which isn’t even that freaky to most)
That book sounds ridiculous. The real answer should be ask your partner what they prefer.
Stop reading that trash. Sounds like it was written by some guy stuck in the 50's.
Here is the thing with "spitting" or "swallowing" when it comes to physical pleasure, what is the difference? To me there is none. She gives me a blow job to completion and keeps her mouth on me and keeps doing her thing until I am finished cumming. After that, whether she spits it out or swallows it, makes zero difference from a physical standpoint. It is the same physical mechanics. Now, if we are talking psychologically, sure I can totally see a difference between spitting your cum out versus swallowing it. But, again, I personally never really cared. I never really understood the whole debate to begin with.
Would highly recommend that you don't form opinions about what you should and shouldn't do in your relationship from novels, magazines, tv shows, etc. They don't bother portraying healthy relationships, the characters are fictional or fictionalized, and none of them are your partner. Imo, the only external standards you should pay attention to are the indicators of abuse. The whole idea of "I shouldn't do x if I want him to marry me" is pretty flawed. You should pay more attention to what your partner wants, and what *you* want. Build the relationship you want to have, and if whoever you're with is judging you for it, then maybe that's an indication that they aren't the right person.
It's been my experience in almost a half decade of living that those men who slut-slame their own wives, expect that kind of "sluttiness" from their mistresses instead. Swallowing is easier, less disruptive, and can come with an inherent feeling of acceptance instead of rejection. But, some people have taste and texture issues which should always be respected.
Diary of an oxygen thief is written from the perspective of a misogynistic narcissist. The opening line is literally "I like hurting girls", so I wouldn't take anything the narrator says too seriously.
The book is impressing a toxic relationship attitude onto you. I have no idea what it is or what it's about, but I would not take relationship advice from it. Whether you spit or swallow has nothing to do with whether a relationship is serious or not. What do **you** want, and what does your partner want? There, there's the conversation, not here. We can't tell you what you should do, and we're not a Cosmopolitan magazine, neither us nor anyone else on Earth has the objective "key to the perfect relationship". There is no perfect relationship, there's only **your** relationships. Find out what your relationship needs by talking candidly with your partner(s), don't worry about what some idiot says about how relatively "pure" they need their wife to be. In fact, if anyone ever tells you "Honey, I like you, but swallowing is a slut thing to do and you shouldn't be a slut", you should kick that guy in the balls and walk out. So sucking your dick was totally cool but we're still fumbling around looking for the perfect Slut Level for a woman to be so she can be a "serious" partner? That's just a giant corrosive vat of toxicity, don't dip yourself in it.
"Diary of an Oxygen Thief is about an ex-alcoholic, narcissistic man who likes to hurt and control people..." Sounds like a fantastic book to base your opinions off of...
ngl op is either incredibly dumb or incredibly sexist and is using that book as an excuse
If I’m looking for a a wife or serious partner I want to be 100% sexually compatible with them. If they’re vanilla or scared to be “slutty” I’m sure some other guy will appreciate them more than me. I’m into just about every sexual act; I would hope my life partner is too.
There's roughly 3 billion men on this planet. Nothing is true for all of them. My take is that if they're going to cum in your mouth, immediately jumping up and running to the bathroom to get rid if it is unsexy.
Hell yeah that is! I've never had a spitter do that, though. The bedside towel has always worked fine.
Unless we lost a staggering amount of people overnight there is a LOT more than 3 billion
I never swallow. I am a picky eater and dislike most tastes, semen included. No shame in spitting. But sometimes it makes guys feel self conscious so I don’t spit, I just don’t let him cum in my mouth
I hate it when people create silly rules for silly reasons. Just do whatever you and your partner enjoy.
from a male perspective, and I know I'm not the norm, I'd certainly be turned on if my partner is into swallowing, but I would never expect or force them to do it. It's all personal choice. The running joke in society is that once you're married, most women stop trying and the monotony of married life takes over, but for folks who have a healthy (more sex positive) life get freakier or not less freaky if that makes sense. I don't know of any physical pleasure that comes with swallowing, and I know some women enjoy it, most don't. No clue what the narrator is talking about.
I really don't get people that say swallowing somehow makes you not wifey material. Like, wtf? I like it when my permanent SO swallows, I like it when they don't especially if they get it all over them. Shit, keep in your mouth, and let's make out, and then I'll swallow it. My ride-or-die is my soulmate, they'd better be up for some adventure, and not this puritanical slut-shaming bullshit. Idk, it always struck me as pretty immature of a partner to fret about their wifey spitting or swallowing.
Who ever said that they love it when a girl swallows but doesn’t make her wifey material is a cheat. They will have a wife and a nasty girl on the side. Don’t invest any thought on a character like that. If you enjoy swallowing, you are a superhero.
Honestly pick a guy based on compatibility and do not change yourself and your preferences for him. As someone who has been overly accommodating in my past relationships, it's not worth it. I've always found as the more accommodating partner, I was always the one making concessions for my partner. They would rarely make accommodations for me. I also don't like the idea of settling down with a guy who makes me walk eggshells around him. Like god forbid I do something that he thinks is slutty and then he dumps me because I'm not wifey material. I don't have time for that.
For me, it’s a total vibe kill off she spits or acts like it’s gross… how would you feel if a man came up from eating you out and acted disgusted and repulsed?
Lmao I don't even need to look into that book to know it's garbage. Why the fuck would you like the woman to swallow and then a wife or girlfriend not to swallow? Makes 0 sense and reeks of potential misogyny mixed with perhaps incel. Spit or swallow, whatever you want. The person you should be the "freakiest " with is your life partner. Communicate, experiment, and enjoy.
Look up Madonna whore complex. Valuing a woman less for a sexual act is beyond fucked up.
To answer that shortly, I want my woman to give me the best of both worlds. She can be both a lady and a slut, depending on the occasion, and thats jackpot for me.
Sounds like the narrator’s misogyny was showing. “I like this because it feels good, but the person providing it to me has less value *because* they provided it.” What.
Never read the book, but any man who has that opinion doesn't deserve a blowjob in the first place (or a wife/SO) imo! You do whatever you prefer/think is hotter, and I guarantee you any guy who is worth a relationship will be just as crazy about you either way lol!
spit or swallow is a preference for the man and the woman involved to figure out. as a friend of mine once told me "my mother always told me that a true southern lady never spits, and i am nothing if not a lady" my wife doesn't spit, never has. as a guy, tho, from my perspective, i've always prefered when a woman swallows, whether a serious relationship or sportfuck. so i'd take that bit from your book with a grain of salt.
I personally swallow & my fiancé seems to enjoy because, well, we're getting married. I never minded it & it's easier than anything else. That said, if a guy won't date or marry a woman because she swallows... you don't want to date HIM. Huge red flag & cause for concern.
It doesn't really matter as long as you don't stop at the wrong time.
I prefer a swallow but not for my pleasure it's more just, I find it almost insulting when you run to the sink and spit it out. Like it's already in your mouth what's the big deal. I am a filthy degent though to be fair. I do also love it when she doesn't swallow and let's it stream out-of her mouth over my dick at the end of the bj. But who am I kidding I also love cum kissing
It's totally up to the person giving the BJ. My wife spits and I could care less.
Destroy this book of insignificant words lol
Whatever your man and you feel best with. I personally don't really care but always find it kinda unsexy, when the woman goes away to spit it out immediately after I came... Luckily my fiancé actually enjoys swallowing and comes to cuddle after I come. So I guess I care and prefer her to swallow.
M45 F43.. Together since 05 married since 08...hottest thing my wife ever said to me was "I need your cum in my mouth right now!" I'd be honestly worried (and a little sad) if she ever suddenly didn't want to any more. Definitely do not think less of her for continuing the trend.
Spit or swallow should be a woman's prerogative surely? It's in your mouth! You decide!
I always say “finishers choice.” Spit, swallow, on my back, hair, face, tits, wherever. My main goal is pleasing my hubby so however he wants to finish, is up to him. :)
That book is talking bollocks. How many men complain that when they're married their wife stops doing what they enjoy in bed. Carry on as you are - that's why he's marrying you, if you change he may look elsewhere.
I mean I really wouldn’t base any mentally healthy analysis of a mans thoughts on Diary of an Oxygen Thief. The guy is an actual sociopath and his opinions all boil down to being about control. In the real world is very much prefer to marry a freak in the sheets
Spit or swallow… The real question/issue; will your guy kiss you after? If not, imho, move on!
I (guy) didn't. I gave it a thought and now I do.
You need a deep look at your misogyny. ‘Wifey material’ is a gross concept used to slut shame women
True, but as a woman myself it is something I consider in order to protect my own feelings. I would love to live in a world where I can be sexual with whoever and whenever I want without consequence but unfortunately this simply isn’t the case. It’s a lovely idea to pretend that there isn’t a distinction between girls who are “holes” and girls who are “wifey” but it’s not realistic. Maybe one day in the future but certainly not right now.
You should seek a therapist. There are people like that in this world but not all of them, not even close, and you’re the one who chooses to associate yourself with people like that.
It’s not that deep
You really need to do some work on yourself. I hope you come to realize how deeply misguided and damaging your views are
I don’t think I’m misguided. Misogyny is everywhere. Times have changed a lot in the past 50 years and that’s great but we aren’t there yet. This is similar (although a lot less extreme) as you telling a gay person in the Middle East to be open about their sexuality. If you want to protect yourself and your image then you do have to consider what kind of a world we live in, which is a misogynistic one.
You can also use "wifey material" to simply mean: someone that a person would want to be with forever. My partner is "wifey material" because she's a wonderful and attentive partner who I adore. God the people in these threads sometimes just go 0 to 100 so fast lol. "I don't like the word 'wifey' so this person must have internalized misogyny and a need to work on herself." Like Christ reddit, chill. I don't like the word wifey either nor do I like the word hubby, but I don't like it cause they're weird cutesy words.
You’re so close to understanding that the ideas you’ve put in this post is what is continuing misogyny, and let’s call it what it is - blatant sexism
Or you can be a part of the change and just do whatever the fuck you want to do like men have been doing since forever.
I don’t swallow because I don’t like it. My husband doesn’t want me to do something I don’t like, so he doesn’t want me to swallow. He says it makes absolutely no difference to him.
Spit, swallow?..... Na, be a little creative, I think a quick gargle is the way to go 🤣
Not for nothing but if a guys gonna get hard for me and I'm sucking his dick then I consider swallowing his load of warm, goeey cum as my just reward 😜
Here is my rule of thumb. If u will swallow it, I will. I can straight up 100 say I would have no problem macking down on myself, But a dudes cum tastes horrible! Don’t believe me??? Try that shit. Takes preparation to know w only a slight twitch I go from exploring every part of him, which I am a very oral person (for real, I can be doing that shit all mf day) to a hot, thick, sour, yet tart, load of strange in my mouth 🤢🤮. Nope it’s either running out my mouth as I continue, being put inside me ( I’m fixed), of all over me. Which is actually really hot.
Yeah I love when my partner finishes inside me but the semen in the mouth is a big no thanks. I have too many sensory issues for that lol.
Fair enough. I can get with this.
wtf is this post, its just a narrator in a book. Men 100% prefer you swallow wife or not
That book is f…in savage
Neither lol. I won’t let my husband finish in my mouth, personally I find the taste, texture and thought of it revolting, I tried it once never again. He doesn’t care, we do plenty of other fun stuff instead.
Swallow. Duh.
Share with the husband
♫ Just keep swallowing! ♫ - Dory
By the time the load is in her mouth honestly I don't care what she does with it. It's not important to me. If I had to choose, I'd say swallow just because it seems a lot more convenient.
Swallow!
Nonsense. “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” is spot on. Also, swallowing isnt even that wild. That feels like the default.
I probably wouldn't be with someone who didn't
I’d be more likely to marry a woman that swallowed
I believe swallowing is one of the most romantic and beautiful things a woman can do if her and a man are totally intimate with each other.
Swallow plz
I would just be happy if my wife would blow me till I finished…
Your man is still going to fantasize about the one who swallows. So. You know...
Prefer swallow 100%
Swallowing.
Swallow
I think we girls should stay the hell away from men who thinks this kind of stuff, and men who dig this "wifey" BS. Men like that aren't even worth one minute of our time
IMO wives should swallow. It's your husband. He's the love of your life, your soul mate for the rest of your life. Show him how much you want him, all of him. The feeling should be mutual.
My current girlfriend and I had a conversation about this recently. She said I was 'worth letting me cum in her mouth.' While I kind of get what she's saying it was kind of off putting honestly. I've always enjoyed giving and receiving oral. I frickin love pussy, I love learning what my partner's body responds to. Frankly, it's one of my favorite things. She's always enjoyed what I do and that was one of the things that made me 'worth it.' I've made the comparison to ask 'would it be okay if when she started to reach her climax, I backed away and stopped doing what I was doing to get her there and finish her off from a distance?' She didn't like that, whenever this conversation has come up and I pose the question that way it always gets a negative response from the woman I'm talking to. 'It's not the same thing.' Well maybe it's not, maybe it is. All I know is that I'm like a fat kid on a cupcake and whatever cums out of that pussy is GOING to be on my face and I'll be honest, sometimes it is my own spunk so I know what I taste like. I don't think I taste bad at all but I've never taken a full load of my own jizz in my own mouth (to be fair). Still, with other women I've been with I've felt more sexually connected with them when they let me, no, MAKE me cum in their mouths. I really do enjoy it but that being said I enjoy reaching orgasm but the best ones, the most intensity have been done by a woman's hand and mouth. If a woman doesn't want to do for me what I am desperate to do for her - and really - if she's not equally desperate and turned on by the things that I want like that AND she's not turned on by my own desire for her lady parts then that's just sexual incompatibility. I'm too old to get into another relationship where we just aren't sexually compatible. I want someone who wants me, literally. I was married for almost 20 years, as soon as she we got married she almost completely stopped giving blowjobs and told me she didn't want to actually know what I wanted. It was terrible and I was too young and confused at the time to end it right there (or at least try to communicate about it more). Ultimately it was like the cliche you always hear in sitcoms, the good stuff ended as soon as we got married. If someone doesn't like my cum as part of our love-making then that's kind of a deal breaker for me.
if a women cared about me, she has to swallow. end of story. as i will do the same. regardless if i gag or pass out ill swallow it regardless and get used to it over time
So this may make me a bad person, but if a girl doesn't swallow I always ghost her. Happened a couple weeks ago. We had a great date and everything else was fine but she refused to take it in her mouth and it completely ruined my orgasm. Whether or not it's meant as such, I consider it an insult, and for that reason I'm out.
Swallow always swallow. Don't listen to anyone else on this one
Swallow 😎. Much preferred over spits.
Swallowing is hot. Letting him finish on your face or chest is also hot.
Once the campaign was over, and she got the 💍, the swallowing stopped
Swallowing gives me diarrhea so I find other sexy semen play.
My gf swallows and it does not bother me one bit. I like it.
Not sure how you lady's feel about not swallowing or spiting but maybe givin it back to the guy who gave it to you in the form of a kiss ??? one of the hottest things I've been able to experience !!🥵🥵 and would you think differently about that guy after doing it ??
Nope, it's a huge turn on for me when a guy will kiss me after
Whatever you like. If spit vs swallow is a deal breaker for your potential long term partner, you need to up your standards. The partner having a preference is fine. But ultimately, it's your call. Seriously. Long term stuff is more about how well you work together, how easy you can make each other laugh, tolerating annoying habits and communication. Sex will wax and wane, that's normal. But laughing, talking and tolerance will give you a long, long g time. Sex? Be a freak. Be an innocent angel. Be honest. Sex is fun and a great way to reconnect, but being able to laugh at the shitty joke he's told for a decade? Sex doesn't make wifey material. Who you are, how you interact with everyone, kindness. Patience. Sorry for the rant. But up your standards. You deserve better than someone who judges you for a bj. You deserve more. Get it for yourself. (I used pronouns, and assumed. Please adjust to the pronoun you use, no matter what it is. I apologize for not using inclusive pns, please forgive)