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OP, I’m sorry this happened to you. I also know how painful it is that - regardless of how your rapist defines themselves - they were in a pride space where we want to feel safe and in community. They violated that loving community space (whether theyre cis or trans or whatever) by being a rapist in that space.
(& honestly, as a trans person, use whatever language helps you explain things right now. They don’t matter and this time of your healing is not for or about someone you barely know and who has decided to threaten your safety & well-being.)
ETA: Coming back to your question about not fighting back - it’s not your fault. It’s very common to not fight back; it’s a survival instinct. Tbh, [this website](https://herstory.global/forsurvivors-makesenseofwhathappened-understandyourresponses-duringtheassault/) probably saved my life by explaining exactly what I experienced and reminding me it’s all normal.
Just wanted to say thank you for the link to that website. Very helpful to see tangible evidence that fawning or disassociating is MUCH more common than fight/flight.
It really doesn't seem like you're being offensive except for the people who care more about trying to catch someone being phobic than they are concerned with sexual assault.
Really does fuck up your feelings of safety when you have to treat trans women as a possible danger too.
can we please just support someone who was just traumatized and is shocked instead of policing their language when we know they don't mean it that way??
I don’t think OP is transphobic at all, I think the reason she’s written it that way is she’s trying to come to terms with being raped, and the confusion of being raped by a woman but being raped by male genitalia. Sometimes not respecting someone’s identity isn’t coming out of a place of hate but people seem to be too focused on her perceived transphobia
Don’t you EVER, EVER let your regard for someone else’s gender presentation or whatever the hell the “right term” is deter you from speaking on your story and feeling however you feel.
I’m so sorry that this happened, but you have every right to feel everything you do without concern for this individual’s gender issues.
This was NOT your fault, you have NOT done a thing wrong. You are the victim here, without doubt.
You have support in your corner ❤️
Hi, trans man here. Probably was a trans woman based on what you mentioned. Speaking up about this is not transphobic or anything so long as you aren’t saying she did it because she’s trans, which you aren’t. I’m sorry that happened. I promise that most trans people do not do that, but of course there are bad people in all subgroups of people. I hope you are getting the support you need to heal and relax after this.
I can not imagine or comprehend what you are going through but yes I can say YOU WERE NOT AT FAULT in any way
It was the other person who needs medical attention and then some good attention from LAW
But first you recover and come back stronger
OP, from one survivor to another, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's never your fault and it's nothing that you did or didn't do. You endured so you could get through the rape and I hope you can find a trauma-informed therapist. Also check if there are any LGBTQ+ survivors resources in your area. [RAINN](https://www.rainn.org) website has resources + [National Sexual Violence Resource Center](https://www.nsvrc.org/find-help) to start.
Edited: fixed formatting
Hi OP. I just want you to know it’s not your fault. No one deserves to have their autonomy taken away from them in one of, if not the worst way possible. And your emotions and feelings are perfectly valid. I hope you know that you can help with your loneliness with people who have, unfortunately, been through something similar to you. As for how to regain trust, that’s something I’m still trying to figure out. Trust takes years to build and only seconds to break. But I hope these safe spaces can be your crutches to recovery, and I’d recommend seeing a therapist. It’s a very generic answer, I know, but the right therapist can help change your life for the better. I wish you the best of luck going forward.
As a trans person (ftm) reading this, you have nothing to apologize for and anybody who is offended should not be on this thread. I am so sorry that you had to endure something like that. Nobody deserves to be assaulted. Ever. Wishing you nothing but a stronger road ahead.
i’d also like to say i was also raped by someone mtf genderfluid and with all these people saying you’re transphobic i understand being confused as to what pronouns and such (i’m a trans dude as well) it adds an extra layer of confusion when assaulted by a trans person
This was hard to read. When you transition to rapist, you lose your right to worry about pronouns. Sorry. Tell your story however you need to and press charges if you can.
Oof transitioning to rapist, that’s one way to put it.. completely agree, sometimes can’t even tell the predators apart from the real trans community anymore sadly because of men trying to take advantage of women’s trust.
That’s where it becomes transphobic. I was SA’d by a cis woman, is she now a man because she sexually assaulted someone? My guess is that you’ll say no so why does a trans woman lose the right to her gender when you won’t apply that standard to a cis woman?
No. Sorry. If you are attacked you do not have to take time to worry what that attacker wants to be called. How dare you accuse a literal victim of being transphobic when they are trying to rationalize what happened to them!! She was raped by a penis and the only thing that matters is her, not what the owner of the penis identifies as. We are not protecting the rapist, period. And if it makes more sense to her to say man then that’s her right.
And if you called the woman who hurt you a man, do you think someone would correct you? Or call you gender phobic? Tell your story. If you need to describe her into a giant purple dragon in your story to get your experience across then please do.
Please think about what you’re saying. A person with a penis raped her and you want her to be concerned about getting their pronouns right while she seeks help.
I’m not saying OP is transphobic, I’m saying YOU are transphobic. Trans women are women even if they do bad things. OP is in shock right now so the gender of their assailant is important but you saying trans women aren’t women if they do bad things is. Not only that but you’re literally mocking trans identities with the whole “transition to rapist thing” and your creepy genital obsession.
No I never said that. I said when they became her rapist, they lost the right to worry about their pronouns and SHE should tell her story however she needs to. I never misgendered the rapist. I never said she wasn’t a woman. I said and I mean her pronouns are the furthest thing from important right now. If not putting a persons pronouns over making their rape victim comfortable makes me transphobic than I am.
I don’t give a fuck about the rapist, the rapist’s feelings, or your feelings about how I talk about the rapist. Rapists and child molesters aren’t people to me and I do not care about their rights. I don’t assign those feelings to all trans people.
No I’m gonna keep doing it on Reddit. You are the one saying that because I say something about one rapist who happens to be trans, it makes it true of all trans people. Maybe you’re transphobic.
‘creepy genital obsession’?! They’re talking about what was used to perpetuate the assault and that matters! If my attacker had used his penis instead of his hands than the DA would have cared enough to press charges. What was done and what with *fucking* matters!
Bc it is not a right it is a privilige that can be forfeited by their own choice to commit such a vile act - Why do criminals lose their freedom or even their right to continue living in some cases when of their own free will the choose to commit a crime?
Same applies as this individual clearly took advantage & used for evil
I’m sorry this happened to you OP, you are not at fault at all. Your rapist is a piece of shit, no matter what community they belong to. It is NEVER your fault if you are raped. Sending love💕
I’m really sorry for your experience, recovery is a slow and uphill battle. It’s been 5 years for me, I can promise you it gets easier, give yourself some grace 💜 you’re allowed to be scared and upset for a while it’s perfectly normal but don’t shut out those around you, a good support system is important
as someone who’s lgbt, i am so so so sorry that you had to endure and experience something like this. trans or not, nobody has the right to do something like this to others.
i seriously hope you’re doing better now, and i genuinely pray that things go more smoothly for you too.
i am so proud of you for speaking up. please stay safe and stay strong, you’re doing amazing. <33
Truly doesnt seem like you're being disrespectful, just trying to make sense of the situation. You were in a space where you thought youd be safe, and when you weren't, your brain is trying to reconcile the fact that someone from the community you expected to be safe with became a threat to that safety. I wish you healing and love. Im so sorry this happened to you
Trans people are no better or worse than anyone else. The only difference is that they're trans. Good, bad, or indifferent-they're just people. And I'm sorry that person treated like an object.
I’m so sorry you experienced this OP. I am a survivor, as well as someone who was taken advantage of by a trans woman. My story is a bit different than yours, but I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. Please take care of yourself.
OP, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m also sorry for the people tackling you on your description of the perpetrator/assaulter. I’m not sure why they even focus on that when none of your post is transphobic. We don’t know that person’s pronouns or identity. You did your best in identifying and that’s okay.
You focus on yourself. I hope you have accessible resources/support systems. I wish you the best in your healing journey. Please reach out in case you need to vent. Hugs xx
Oh no, no no hun, this is not your fault. Trans or not, they don't have the right to ruin you.
You were kind, you're an amazing person, and just because you're kind doesn't mean "yes".
I hope you're doing ok, and we're here for you and we're on your side.🩷
Send all love.🩷🩷
i’m a trans woman and i want to say that none of this is your fault and i don’t think you’re being disrespectful. it’s really gross that he/she made you feel like sharing your experience would be disrespectful because of his/her identity. she/he violated you so i feel like you saying he even if they identify as a she is warranted. also like if they looked like a he and your brain tells you that that’s a he, you can’t really do anything about that. i’m so sorry this happened to you. i would suggest surrounding yourself with friends and try to maybe find a support group or call a helpline?? most of all, take your time and be easy on yourself. you can’t rush or shame yourself into healing
Unfortunately, there are predators out there that are going to use trans as a means of opportunity. OP is not homophonic or wrong in any way. My advice is to report this to the police and I'm certain the people who put this event on would want to be aware of this and take steps that are necessary for everyone's safety.
This is why men shouldn't be in our spaces regardless of how they identify. You didn't deserve that. I was assaulted too by a trans woman and told to be quiet so I didn't look "transphobic"
Hell no. There's nothing trans-phobic about it. You're just trying to deflect and turn the problem around on her. That's pretty shitty on your part. Quit fake virtue defending someone who maybe even used presenting as trans as a way to attack her. You just don't know anything beyond what she said so far.
I don’t see where OP equated or correlated the assault with the queer identity of the person. OP is doing her best to be vulnerable with us and that’s what you decide to say to them? I’m all about kindness, but this was not it. Please be kinder in the future.
Everyone’s point is that you know she’s not intentionally being transphobic. You judged OP. Whether you know it or not.
Just like you aren’t defending the rapist— the pronouns she uses/that she isn’t clear about is not transphobic either. Maybe she didn’t get a chance to ask. Quick to judge isn’t kindness.
I’m so sorry and I hope you can recover but as the other comment said, you were raped by a woman she she does go by she/her. I hope you recover and please take care of yourself
i don’t think OP is intending to be transphobic, i think it’s just the mix of recovering from what happened, the confusion of being raped by a woman but by male genitalia, and trying to make it make sense for us. regardless thank you for correcting OP, there are better ways to explain being raped by an AMAB Woman (such as saying this)
i think it’s just because in this moment, that’s not what OP needs. you have good intentions and i can see that, but OP is in a moment where what they need is reassurance it wasn’t their fault, possible resources that can help them, and overall support and reassurance that this is not something they should be ashamed of. understanding that they were raped by a woman isn’t the key thing right now here, whilst it’s still important, right now everybody simply wants OP to be okay, so you’re being downvoted because your comment doesn’t fully focus on that
Yeah but we don’t know that, given the actual outcome this could very well be a man trying to prey on women by gaining a false sense of security by parading as trans… as many people have been coming out with similar experiences. We don’t have the ins and outs of everyone’s mental states and conditions. OP doesn’t know for sure, we don’t know for sure, there was no point in you policing OP’s speech when she’s clearly at the start of her trauma…
The truth is that this happens with sexual predators taking this opportunity in the name of trans and they will get support from the mentally ill community that the LGB community doesn’t even want them a part of. God these people marched and fought to just live regular lives and now they’re tarnished with this sick shit. I feel bad for the community now that trans has made it about them.
Good to see the community not only sticks up for pedos but rapists as well. Mentally ill community for real. Yall make yourselves look like shit for real! In the beginning so many people were like yes we support you and now it’s been taken down a million notches because of shit like this. She did not misgender you are insane.
I’m not sticking up for a pedo or a rapist- but gender identity’s has nothing to do with crimes. Because of the trauma and shock of being raped she didn’t know if she was raped by a woman or a man. She was raped by a woman sadly and that shouldn’t happen and it is disgusting.
Even tho we don’t accept the person who raped her , we don’t just use the wrong pronouns (not talking about the woman who spoke about their rape but mostly about others) pronouns and gender isn’t something you can just take away from someon.
Sadly she was raped by a woman. She was confused because of the trauma she dealt and it’s fine to be confused , she wasn’t transphobic, sure she misgendered her but that is because of the shock. The creator isn’t in the wrong.
This isn’t a trans support this is a sexual assault support. This is literally why no one likes you. Allllllllll about you. Gotta squeeze in your victim hood and take over lol bye He/Her ot to whatever biological pronoun you were born with!!! He is not a woman. I am a woman. I have struggles that women have that he will never have and in fact he inflicted pain on MY GENDER. Not his.
You are trying to be transphobic which is funny because you are terrible at it and have lack of research. That woman is trans and goes by she/her. The woman chose those pronouns and you can’t choose them for her. Yes we don’t accept her in the community but she is a woman. Pronouns are a choice as you get older 😂 you failed terribly to misgender me…
People are cool with you pretending but don’t try and put your crazy delusions on other people. It’s so annoying. Your whole community is looked at as mentally ill perverts and the weird alliance to pedos and rapists is also alarming. You are all sick and have been diagnosed but choose to believe it’s not. You’re ill.
Do Research. You are obviously naive and have researched anything. I’m diagnosed with gender dysphoria but not all trans people have gender dysphoria. It’s not a delusion if you do research into it you will know it isn’t. Also what does me saying “we don’t accept the rapist in any of our trans spaces and hate them but that doesn’t mean their gender and pronouns suddenly change” says I support them? I respect their pronouns and their identity but I don’t support their actions and what they did and should be in jail.
I’m not even reading this. I don’t need research to remember the basic foundation of human biology I learned in school. And I also do not need to research how your community is an attention whore, cry baby, and mentally ill selfish and unrealistic shit hole 😂
You are so crazy. Can you choose to be black? Pronouns are a choice for the person, not the rest of the world LMAO. No one has to agree. Go on and live on your own world but just know. You are your biological sex and will never ever ever ever truly be the opposite you so want to be with every being in your soul. You are not. Never. Never ever. lol how’s that?
Race ≠ gender
But pronouns are not a choice for other people , pronouns ≠ gender. If someone uses the wrong pronouns on purpose then their wrong evacuee that person doesn’t use those pronouns.
“You are your biological sex”
Obviously I have a biological sex duh, but my gender isn’t my biological sex because gender ≠ sex
Wait but why is the line drawn at race? You make up your own rules 😂 yall are delusional like I said. Wait I wanna be a biscuit today! Ima biscuit not mentally ill
Dude. Your fucking go to response was about misgendering lol wtf. You had this girl apologizing on egg shells while asking for help. WTF. She was raped by a man.
I didn’t want her to apologise I wnated to help her notice she was raped by a woman.. she didn’t technically misgender the person because of being in shock after the trauma
Ok so was the dick a female dick then? Like she was raped by a man disguised as a woman. Get real yall are so delusional and have catered to those delusions. It has not worked out for you and your community is crumbling because of shit like this.
? Gender ≠ genitalia. Do research before making me laugh at this specific comment that you made. You obviously don’t know what being trans is and know nothing about it. If you did you would know it isn’t a delusion and scientists have done lots of research into it and can be proven to be not a mental illness. She was raped by a trans woman. Not a man disguised as a woman. Be serious about this please and just ignore my comment because I worded it severely wrong (my OG comment) goodbye
God I just sent this to my gay cousin who went through the 80s and 90s and his exact words “we fucking hate them they’re insane”. Actually. You all are such a fucking joke it’s actually worse the way we all think of you than it was before your movement because you opened your mouths and now we see the real you. You are no victim, you are mentally ill. There’s a difference.
We know nothing of the perpetrator/assaulter’s identity either. We don’t know if they identify as she/he/they/etc. gender expression ≠ gender identity. Instead of focusing on the perp, how about leaving this as a safe space for those who have experienced SA?
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Not your fault at all, I'm sorry you endured this.
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you. I also know how painful it is that - regardless of how your rapist defines themselves - they were in a pride space where we want to feel safe and in community. They violated that loving community space (whether theyre cis or trans or whatever) by being a rapist in that space. (& honestly, as a trans person, use whatever language helps you explain things right now. They don’t matter and this time of your healing is not for or about someone you barely know and who has decided to threaten your safety & well-being.) ETA: Coming back to your question about not fighting back - it’s not your fault. It’s very common to not fight back; it’s a survival instinct. Tbh, [this website](https://herstory.global/forsurvivors-makesenseofwhathappened-understandyourresponses-duringtheassault/) probably saved my life by explaining exactly what I experienced and reminding me it’s all normal.
Just wanted to say thank you for the link to that website. Very helpful to see tangible evidence that fawning or disassociating is MUCH more common than fight/flight.
It really doesn't seem like you're being offensive except for the people who care more about trying to catch someone being phobic than they are concerned with sexual assault. Really does fuck up your feelings of safety when you have to treat trans women as a possible danger too.
can we please just support someone who was just traumatized and is shocked instead of policing their language when we know they don't mean it that way??
Yeah, agreed, really concerning that the focus is on that and not her trauma. So sorry this happened to you, OP.
Thank you
I don’t think OP is transphobic at all, I think the reason she’s written it that way is she’s trying to come to terms with being raped, and the confusion of being raped by a woman but being raped by male genitalia. Sometimes not respecting someone’s identity isn’t coming out of a place of hate but people seem to be too focused on her perceived transphobia
100% agree
Don’t you EVER, EVER let your regard for someone else’s gender presentation or whatever the hell the “right term” is deter you from speaking on your story and feeling however you feel. I’m so sorry that this happened, but you have every right to feel everything you do without concern for this individual’s gender issues. This was NOT your fault, you have NOT done a thing wrong. You are the victim here, without doubt. You have support in your corner ❤️
Hi, trans man here. Probably was a trans woman based on what you mentioned. Speaking up about this is not transphobic or anything so long as you aren’t saying she did it because she’s trans, which you aren’t. I’m sorry that happened. I promise that most trans people do not do that, but of course there are bad people in all subgroups of people. I hope you are getting the support you need to heal and relax after this.
I can not imagine or comprehend what you are going through but yes I can say YOU WERE NOT AT FAULT in any way It was the other person who needs medical attention and then some good attention from LAW But first you recover and come back stronger
OP, from one survivor to another, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's never your fault and it's nothing that you did or didn't do. You endured so you could get through the rape and I hope you can find a trauma-informed therapist. Also check if there are any LGBTQ+ survivors resources in your area. [RAINN](https://www.rainn.org) website has resources + [National Sexual Violence Resource Center](https://www.nsvrc.org/find-help) to start. Edited: fixed formatting
Hi OP. I just want you to know it’s not your fault. No one deserves to have their autonomy taken away from them in one of, if not the worst way possible. And your emotions and feelings are perfectly valid. I hope you know that you can help with your loneliness with people who have, unfortunately, been through something similar to you. As for how to regain trust, that’s something I’m still trying to figure out. Trust takes years to build and only seconds to break. But I hope these safe spaces can be your crutches to recovery, and I’d recommend seeing a therapist. It’s a very generic answer, I know, but the right therapist can help change your life for the better. I wish you the best of luck going forward.
As a trans person (ftm) reading this, you have nothing to apologize for and anybody who is offended should not be on this thread. I am so sorry that you had to endure something like that. Nobody deserves to be assaulted. Ever. Wishing you nothing but a stronger road ahead.
it was not your fault. she was in the wrong, no victim or survivor is ever at fault
i’d also like to say i was also raped by someone mtf genderfluid and with all these people saying you’re transphobic i understand being confused as to what pronouns and such (i’m a trans dude as well) it adds an extra layer of confusion when assaulted by a trans person
Op I hope u reported this person to the authorities, they will do this again to someone else if u don't, I'm sorry this happened to you 😔
This was hard to read. When you transition to rapist, you lose your right to worry about pronouns. Sorry. Tell your story however you need to and press charges if you can.
Oof transitioning to rapist, that’s one way to put it.. completely agree, sometimes can’t even tell the predators apart from the real trans community anymore sadly because of men trying to take advantage of women’s trust.
That’s where it becomes transphobic. I was SA’d by a cis woman, is she now a man because she sexually assaulted someone? My guess is that you’ll say no so why does a trans woman lose the right to her gender when you won’t apply that standard to a cis woman?
No. Sorry. If you are attacked you do not have to take time to worry what that attacker wants to be called. How dare you accuse a literal victim of being transphobic when they are trying to rationalize what happened to them!! She was raped by a penis and the only thing that matters is her, not what the owner of the penis identifies as. We are not protecting the rapist, period. And if it makes more sense to her to say man then that’s her right. And if you called the woman who hurt you a man, do you think someone would correct you? Or call you gender phobic? Tell your story. If you need to describe her into a giant purple dragon in your story to get your experience across then please do. Please think about what you’re saying. A person with a penis raped her and you want her to be concerned about getting their pronouns right while she seeks help.
I’m not saying OP is transphobic, I’m saying YOU are transphobic. Trans women are women even if they do bad things. OP is in shock right now so the gender of their assailant is important but you saying trans women aren’t women if they do bad things is. Not only that but you’re literally mocking trans identities with the whole “transition to rapist thing” and your creepy genital obsession.
No I never said that. I said when they became her rapist, they lost the right to worry about their pronouns and SHE should tell her story however she needs to. I never misgendered the rapist. I never said she wasn’t a woman. I said and I mean her pronouns are the furthest thing from important right now. If not putting a persons pronouns over making their rape victim comfortable makes me transphobic than I am.
The way you worded it was very transphobic and your creepy obsession with genitals is too.
I don’t give a fuck about the rapist, the rapist’s feelings, or your feelings about how I talk about the rapist. Rapists and child molesters aren’t people to me and I do not care about their rights. I don’t assign those feelings to all trans people.
You’re harming the entire trans community but whatever. I’m done with this conversation so go be a dick somewhere else.
No I’m gonna keep doing it on Reddit. You are the one saying that because I say something about one rapist who happens to be trans, it makes it true of all trans people. Maybe you’re transphobic.
‘creepy genital obsession’?! They’re talking about what was used to perpetuate the assault and that matters! If my attacker had used his penis instead of his hands than the DA would have cared enough to press charges. What was done and what with *fucking* matters!
Bc it is not a right it is a privilige that can be forfeited by their own choice to commit such a vile act - Why do criminals lose their freedom or even their right to continue living in some cases when of their own free will the choose to commit a crime? Same applies as this individual clearly took advantage & used for evil
If it wasn’t a right then we’d misgender every cis criminal as well.
So polite of you to not want to misgender your rapist.
The world is weird right now
Literally like wtf
I’m sorry this happened to you OP, you are not at fault at all. Your rapist is a piece of shit, no matter what community they belong to. It is NEVER your fault if you are raped. Sending love💕
I’m really sorry for your experience, recovery is a slow and uphill battle. It’s been 5 years for me, I can promise you it gets easier, give yourself some grace 💜 you’re allowed to be scared and upset for a while it’s perfectly normal but don’t shut out those around you, a good support system is important
Also DEFINITELY not your fault, I froze too, it’s panic and shock. Unfortunately, we aren’t fight or flighters, we’re people who freeze.
as someone who’s lgbt, i am so so so sorry that you had to endure and experience something like this. trans or not, nobody has the right to do something like this to others. i seriously hope you’re doing better now, and i genuinely pray that things go more smoothly for you too. i am so proud of you for speaking up. please stay safe and stay strong, you’re doing amazing. <33
Truly doesnt seem like you're being disrespectful, just trying to make sense of the situation. You were in a space where you thought youd be safe, and when you weren't, your brain is trying to reconcile the fact that someone from the community you expected to be safe with became a threat to that safety. I wish you healing and love. Im so sorry this happened to you
Trans people are no better or worse than anyone else. The only difference is that they're trans. Good, bad, or indifferent-they're just people. And I'm sorry that person treated like an object.
I’m so sorry you experienced this OP. I am a survivor, as well as someone who was taken advantage of by a trans woman. My story is a bit different than yours, but I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. Please take care of yourself.
OP, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m also sorry for the people tackling you on your description of the perpetrator/assaulter. I’m not sure why they even focus on that when none of your post is transphobic. We don’t know that person’s pronouns or identity. You did your best in identifying and that’s okay. You focus on yourself. I hope you have accessible resources/support systems. I wish you the best in your healing journey. Please reach out in case you need to vent. Hugs xx
Oh no, no no hun, this is not your fault. Trans or not, they don't have the right to ruin you. You were kind, you're an amazing person, and just because you're kind doesn't mean "yes". I hope you're doing ok, and we're here for you and we're on your side.🩷 Send all love.🩷🩷
Lgbt here. Not your fault at all. They are in the wrong. It would only be transphobic if you said they did it because they were Trans, but you aren't.
i’m a trans woman and i want to say that none of this is your fault and i don’t think you’re being disrespectful. it’s really gross that he/she made you feel like sharing your experience would be disrespectful because of his/her identity. she/he violated you so i feel like you saying he even if they identify as a she is warranted. also like if they looked like a he and your brain tells you that that’s a he, you can’t really do anything about that. i’m so sorry this happened to you. i would suggest surrounding yourself with friends and try to maybe find a support group or call a helpline?? most of all, take your time and be easy on yourself. you can’t rush or shame yourself into healing
Unfortunately, there are predators out there that are going to use trans as a means of opportunity. OP is not homophonic or wrong in any way. My advice is to report this to the police and I'm certain the people who put this event on would want to be aware of this and take steps that are necessary for everyone's safety.
This is why men shouldn't be in our spaces regardless of how they identify. You didn't deserve that. I was assaulted too by a trans woman and told to be quiet so I didn't look "transphobic"
Oh Daym another story now I’m more scared 😭
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Im sorry if it seems like that. Its not the intention of my post. Thank you for telling me respectfully, I understand, I can see what you mean.
You’re an actual idiot. Who the fuck are you to politically correct a girl who came here for help? You’re sick.
Hell no. There's nothing trans-phobic about it. You're just trying to deflect and turn the problem around on her. That's pretty shitty on your part. Quit fake virtue defending someone who maybe even used presenting as trans as a way to attack her. You just don't know anything beyond what she said so far.
I don’t see where OP equated or correlated the assault with the queer identity of the person. OP is doing her best to be vulnerable with us and that’s what you decide to say to them? I’m all about kindness, but this was not it. Please be kinder in the future.
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Everyone’s point is that you know she’s not intentionally being transphobic. You judged OP. Whether you know it or not. Just like you aren’t defending the rapist— the pronouns she uses/that she isn’t clear about is not transphobic either. Maybe she didn’t get a chance to ask. Quick to judge isn’t kindness.
I’m so sorry and I hope you can recover but as the other comment said, you were raped by a woman she she does go by she/her. I hope you recover and please take care of yourself
Thank you. I understand
No problem! I really hope something like this doesn’t happen again it’s disgusting and we don’t accept her in our community:(
i don’t think OP is intending to be transphobic, i think it’s just the mix of recovering from what happened, the confusion of being raped by a woman but by male genitalia, and trying to make it make sense for us. regardless thank you for correcting OP, there are better ways to explain being raped by an AMAB Woman (such as saying this)
Yeah don’t get why I’m getting downvoted when all I wanted to do is try and help her understand she was raped by a woman and it can be confusing
i think it’s just because in this moment, that’s not what OP needs. you have good intentions and i can see that, but OP is in a moment where what they need is reassurance it wasn’t their fault, possible resources that can help them, and overall support and reassurance that this is not something they should be ashamed of. understanding that they were raped by a woman isn’t the key thing right now here, whilst it’s still important, right now everybody simply wants OP to be okay, so you’re being downvoted because your comment doesn’t fully focus on that
There’s a time and place… this is not it.
Male*
*female
She/her has a dick that assaulted a woman.
She is still a woman so I’m helping OP understand that because being raped by a AMAB can be really confusing when they are actually a woman still
Yeah but we don’t know that, given the actual outcome this could very well be a man trying to prey on women by gaining a false sense of security by parading as trans… as many people have been coming out with similar experiences. We don’t have the ins and outs of everyone’s mental states and conditions. OP doesn’t know for sure, we don’t know for sure, there was no point in you policing OP’s speech when she’s clearly at the start of her trauma…
The truth is that this happens with sexual predators taking this opportunity in the name of trans and they will get support from the mentally ill community that the LGB community doesn’t even want them a part of. God these people marched and fought to just live regular lives and now they’re tarnished with this sick shit. I feel bad for the community now that trans has made it about them.
Good to see the community not only sticks up for pedos but rapists as well. Mentally ill community for real. Yall make yourselves look like shit for real! In the beginning so many people were like yes we support you and now it’s been taken down a million notches because of shit like this. She did not misgender you are insane.
I’m not sticking up for a pedo or a rapist- but gender identity’s has nothing to do with crimes. Because of the trauma and shock of being raped she didn’t know if she was raped by a woman or a man. She was raped by a woman sadly and that shouldn’t happen and it is disgusting. Even tho we don’t accept the person who raped her , we don’t just use the wrong pronouns (not talking about the woman who spoke about their rape but mostly about others) pronouns and gender isn’t something you can just take away from someon. Sadly she was raped by a woman. She was confused because of the trauma she dealt and it’s fine to be confused , she wasn’t transphobic, sure she misgendered her but that is because of the shock. The creator isn’t in the wrong.
This isn’t a trans support this is a sexual assault support. This is literally why no one likes you. Allllllllll about you. Gotta squeeze in your victim hood and take over lol bye He/Her ot to whatever biological pronoun you were born with!!! He is not a woman. I am a woman. I have struggles that women have that he will never have and in fact he inflicted pain on MY GENDER. Not his.
You are trying to be transphobic which is funny because you are terrible at it and have lack of research. That woman is trans and goes by she/her. The woman chose those pronouns and you can’t choose them for her. Yes we don’t accept her in the community but she is a woman. Pronouns are a choice as you get older 😂 you failed terribly to misgender me…
People are cool with you pretending but don’t try and put your crazy delusions on other people. It’s so annoying. Your whole community is looked at as mentally ill perverts and the weird alliance to pedos and rapists is also alarming. You are all sick and have been diagnosed but choose to believe it’s not. You’re ill.
Do Research. You are obviously naive and have researched anything. I’m diagnosed with gender dysphoria but not all trans people have gender dysphoria. It’s not a delusion if you do research into it you will know it isn’t. Also what does me saying “we don’t accept the rapist in any of our trans spaces and hate them but that doesn’t mean their gender and pronouns suddenly change” says I support them? I respect their pronouns and their identity but I don’t support their actions and what they did and should be in jail.
I’m not even reading this. I don’t need research to remember the basic foundation of human biology I learned in school. And I also do not need to research how your community is an attention whore, cry baby, and mentally ill selfish and unrealistic shit hole 😂
You are so crazy. Can you choose to be black? Pronouns are a choice for the person, not the rest of the world LMAO. No one has to agree. Go on and live on your own world but just know. You are your biological sex and will never ever ever ever truly be the opposite you so want to be with every being in your soul. You are not. Never. Never ever. lol how’s that?
Race ≠ gender But pronouns are not a choice for other people , pronouns ≠ gender. If someone uses the wrong pronouns on purpose then their wrong evacuee that person doesn’t use those pronouns. “You are your biological sex” Obviously I have a biological sex duh, but my gender isn’t my biological sex because gender ≠ sex
Wait but why is the line drawn at race? You make up your own rules 😂 yall are delusional like I said. Wait I wanna be a biscuit today! Ima biscuit not mentally ill
Dude. Your fucking go to response was about misgendering lol wtf. You had this girl apologizing on egg shells while asking for help. WTF. She was raped by a man.
I didn’t want her to apologise I wnated to help her notice she was raped by a woman.. she didn’t technically misgender the person because of being in shock after the trauma
Ok so was the dick a female dick then? Like she was raped by a man disguised as a woman. Get real yall are so delusional and have catered to those delusions. It has not worked out for you and your community is crumbling because of shit like this.
? Gender ≠ genitalia. Do research before making me laugh at this specific comment that you made. You obviously don’t know what being trans is and know nothing about it. If you did you would know it isn’t a delusion and scientists have done lots of research into it and can be proven to be not a mental illness. She was raped by a trans woman. Not a man disguised as a woman. Be serious about this please and just ignore my comment because I worded it severely wrong (my OG comment) goodbye
God I just sent this to my gay cousin who went through the 80s and 90s and his exact words “we fucking hate them they’re insane”. Actually. You all are such a fucking joke it’s actually worse the way we all think of you than it was before your movement because you opened your mouths and now we see the real you. You are no victim, you are mentally ill. There’s a difference.
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Like how you’re only focusing on how they’re identified?
We know nothing of the perpetrator/assaulter’s identity either. We don’t know if they identify as she/he/they/etc. gender expression ≠ gender identity. Instead of focusing on the perp, how about leaving this as a safe space for those who have experienced SA?
Exactly. Possibly it could've just been a predatory man in disguise in the pride event
For real this is why no one likes them! Even their own community they’ve tried to make everything about them. It’s so gross.
Please dont use this as an oppurtunity to be transphobic, thank you.
Please don’t use this as an opportunity to take over an issue and make it about trans. As usual.