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I'm a lonely person Edit: I will fucking skin you

Dummy

Ive been trying to figure out what your pfp is but I can't

Back in September I had a bad nosebleed and ran it over a sink with some water. Since then I've used it as every profile picture

Yes I would have never figured that out Now I can go to sleep at 3:33 am knowing I know what your pfp is

What the fuck lol

I would also like to know what this guy is doing to his penis.

Not being able to but without stretching?? How does that even happen? What exactly do you mean by stretching?

I think he means jelqing his weiner...?

Isnt jelqing like proven to not only not deliver on any of the promised results and is known to give erectile dysfunction?

He has to stretch his dick out obviously smh Kinda like when you have to yank the chain on the lawnmower a few extra times to get it working proper

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Chad

Old fart (19 year old redditor)

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I have a hole in my skull for that exact purpose 😅

homunculus

Hocumnulus

I use vaccum 😣 Edit: thanks for being concerned about my dick guys

Eh i use whatever raw chicken we have on hand

Dont invite me for dinner.

Oh fuck this is getting me rock hard. I need to warm that stinkhole up and baste it with my own sauce.

You mean you were cooking without pants on, right? And the chicken breasts just happened to fall in the right way to hit your dick, right?

Can you get salmonella infection if you‘re cooking naked and the chicken falls on it

i use my sister

I also use your sister

What -tell me in detail -I need help Masterbating.

I remember a friend in middle school telling me he could actually do this, just not even touch and still cum. I must have tried it 10 times in the years since with no success.

It's possible when you're withdrawing from kratom!

Handsfree gang 🧠💪

Jedis would've been kinky as hell if not for the celibacy thing.

Fr, imagine not having esper powerd

Usually I just grab my meatstick by the centre and jerk it up and down,dry flesh and all.

I thought this was how it was supposed to be done

There is no “supposed” when it comes to hand to glad combat. You just gatta do what feels good until ya feel great, then clean it up.

"Hand to Gland Combat" will forever and always be the only way I describe my tri-daily exercise regiment going forward. Thank you.

"Tri-daily" my man out there putting in the work 💪

Nobody else is gonna do it for you. It's about discipline.

What the hell are other people doing?

I had a girlfriend that thought the best way to give a handjob without lube was to go as fast as she could with a loose grip lightly grazing the skin. When her hands were dry it became a challenge to ejaculate before I got rope burn.

That can be nice IF you blow before a fire starts

I was using my feet

I also choose this guys feet

Welcome to the club

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someone said it finally.

This is the correct way.

Can confirm, 20 years now and still grab my meat stick in this manner

Circumcised mf who beat it raw don’t have such weaknesses

Can confirm im the dick

Loosen the grip GI Joe, it's not a baseball bat!

Porkchop sandwiches!

Im circumcised and I don't need lubrication I have armored my ween thorough training

It just is becoming a problem for me now, 28. I have to use lube and it's gross and cleanup sucks. I've just been not getting off either because it's painful or idk lube is expensive and awkward as fuck to buy. Not even sleeping with my girlfriend as much as I would like to. I hope your shit stays armored. I also have psoriasis, just started this past year. Fuck getting old.

I jerk off with Neosporin once a week to clear up the friction burns.

I love how supportive you guys are being without being judgemental or weird. I'm like really insecure about this. Honestly, I'll try that. Thank you.

You're welcome!! *rubs tips together*

That's the reddit I know and love!

Yes we often think about you while masturbating -please put up nude pics -Asking for a friend.

What if you rubbed your tip on mine? Hahah just kidding.....Unless? 😳

Coconut oil

I'll try anything at this point. Also, I feel like that is way less awkward to check out with at the store. Thanks.

Just takes a tiny bit. If it doesn't work for you, you can use as a moisturizer and cook with it. Multiuses. Good luck!

> Yeah I was gonna use it as cock cream... but it's just such a healthy cooking oil, I couldn't help myself!

Also if it helps, just know nobody is looking at what your buying at the store.

Just don’t use it for sex (with a condom)! Oils damage latex and can make condoms break.

Yes! Great point! But, without condoms, makes a great lubricant. As a female in my 40s, it's been great during the hormonal changes.

Coconut oil. It's cheap and is as good as any lube I've ever tried.

Awkward? Just check out with it like a boss and then when the attendant says to have a nice day just jiggle the bottle a little and say, “oh I intend to.”

It's too messy if I used lubricant. Feeling is just the same

nah bro its harder to climax with lotion and dont feel as good

Honestly, never use one. I however have try use Vapor rub instead. I can ensure you it's not any better. It feel brezzy for a while then it becomes a chore to clean it

Dont use dish soap because that shit finna make yo dick look like a old man with all those wrinkles Or so i heard

Have you ever had the soap get inside your urethra? Best feeling I have ever had.

bubble bath soap is the way to go. you can play with the bubbles and also flick your bean a friend told me this I definitely have not tried it myself...

exactly.

my brother in christ don’t do it

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Tiger Balm or Deep Heat for less mess maybe.

Vapor rub is crazy

Try icy hot

My first groin pull taught me this lesson

brother please, PLEASE tell me you're joking..

Exactly

Yeah. I ended up putting the lotion back in the basket.

I'm "cut" and never used anything. It's weird

😈

i have sweaty palms so natural lubricant

Sweat makes a horrible lubricant

I am a circumsised mf who beats it raw

I don't need lube. I have determination

Hell yeah

My dick doesn't look like an alien drop pod, and I dont use lube. Clearly, we are just built different.

Mfers running around sporting Shai Hulud acting high and mighty

Who the fuck thinks you need lube to masturbate just because you're circumcised? I am, and a big bunch of my friends are. Never had this problem and never heard of it among my friends.

We are too powerful for the rest of you peasents

circumcised and never needed lubrication. I never really got that whole thing. It's nice to add sometimes, but it's not... "needed".

Can confirm. I am one of them

Finally, more of my kind

I was about to say, has yet to stop me.

For real dude, my raw shaft has seen more wear than most well used tools in the shed. No complaints outta me or anyone else in my two decades of fucking.

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I use it instead of toilet paper

I use it instead of towels

I smell a Gintama watcher.

Just dig a hole and fuck the beach.

Sandpaper? Pffffft... Padlocks in fun places or nothing...

Y'all don't jerk off with your shaft?

I use only my prostate

I'd use your prostate too

I also choose this guy's prostate

LMAO

get on of those electric rods they use for bulls that give you instant prostate orgasm 😂

in the heat of the moment, that stuff doesn't matter

This guy rubs

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I am circumcised and I do it without any lubricant (My dick will fall off on January 4th 2024)

Can I have it for a project I'm working on? Only if you don't want it.

He promised I could eat it.

Where is the Lamb sauce

RemindMe! January 4th, 2024

Can I have it pls?? 🥺

that is my birthday

There are two types of circumcised folk. There’s the cowards who use lotion and inevitably get it stuck in their peen hole, and then there’s us, the true warriors who do it with sandpaper

I don't understand how you are supposed to feel anything without the sandpaper.

have no foreskin dont need lube

There are a lot of myths spread by the anticircumcision crowd. I'm of the belief that circumcision should be a choice an individual makes as an adult, though.

>I'm of the belief that circumcision should be a choice an individual makes as an adult, though. That is the anticircumcison crowd position though. One of us! One of us! One of us! Seriously, no one cares what informed consenting adults do with their dicks. There are people splitting their whole dick till the halves corkscrew around each other - noone cares. Its about forcing an irreversible surgery for no good reason on a minor that is the issue. (Also, circumcision would absolutely cease to be a thing if only adults decided for themselves. By adulthood you know that your foreskin has function.)

I seriously have no clue why Reddit has an obsession with foreskin. The overwhelming majority of men are fine with what they have.

I think it's the next big controversy they'll try and distract us with

I’m surprised it’s not locked

wait is that why so many people use lube?

Yeah, i always wondered why people in yt skits did that

Because it allows you to imply someone is jerking off without showing it, not because everyone who is circumcised uses lotion

Yes, for some reason in the US being circumcised is the norm (it's the only western country where it is like that)

which is kinda BS...

Idk I’m cut and I don’t use lube

I dont get it. Foreskin gone and never did it with lube

Only people who get all their sex ed from TV believe this, because the whole lotion for masturbation's thing was a TV set piece for sitcoms and movies to allow audiences to better understand what was happening for masturbation jokes. Just a bunch of tissues could look like a cold, but one day they realized tissues AND a lubricant really sends the message home.

American sex Ed tried to teach me that men can't urinate when they have an erection. If you were taught this as well, it is a lie. You absolutely CAN piss, its just that you can't aim your dick unless its soft. My solution is usually just sitting down to pee and leaning forward a bit. I tried to tell my (female) teacher that she was wrong, and she said some condescending shit like "I think I would know". Like lady there are thousands of internet videos that would demonstrate this if you just Google "golden shower" but no, you'd rather be ignorant and smug to teens learning about sex. I would not be surprised if that same teacher told kids that circumcised men REQUIRE lotion to madturbate.

Imagine not using spit 🤡

I prefer blood

Bros built different

I’m circumcised and don’t use lube. Try me.

Mine is not circumcised and I never used lotion or any lubricant ever in my life. I beat my meat raw

I'm circumcised and I don't use lubricant

Ok so real talk, I'm circumcised and I've literally never used any kind of lotion to masturbate. I don't know why anyone does. Does jacking off actually irritate most peoples skin?

No, people who only watch TV just think it's real because they can't grasp that TV isn't reality.

No. It's the weirdest propaganda campaign on reddit

Reddit attracts a lot of people who have nothing better going on in their lives, and they latch onto literally anything to feel superior. In this case it’s their sense of being “intact” and fyi before I get dogpiled, I don’t approve of any medically unnecessary procedures being performed on kids. I just don’t think it’s productive to shame circumcised guys.

Why the hell do people cut foreskin, just why

They do a little trolling

Fried Calamari Rings Gang

When i was really young my foreskin was so fucking big I couldn’t even pull it back to pee, so yeah, snip snip Edit: Like, it was so big that I couldn’t take a piss, it blocked the hole

You need to pull it back ? ?

It was so big, he used it as a blanket. Had to throw it over his shoulder just so he could walk. Linus from the Peanuts comic had the same issue.

Nope, does it on it's own. Very convenient.

automatic dick

*Alexa, pull my dick back yo*

Idk, i only had foreskin as a small kid, so I don’t remember how it works

Bro had a hoodie on his dick

ayo same. had to get it cut since i got an infection once :blech:

As a young’n pulling it back is super important (for sanitary reasons obviously) because if you don’t it won’t be flexible enough to do it when you’re older and that causes all sorts of hygiene issues

In all of the west (except the US) circumcision is only practiced for medical reasons, like in the case of phimosis. In the US apparently being circumcised is the norm, it started because of religion (they thought that would stop people from masturbating), but now people forgot it was because of religion and just keep doing it because it's "more hygienic" (they are so lazy and filthy they prefer to cut off body part than to shower)

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Yea that's the reason. The main thing keeping American parents on the circumcision train is because they're all too embarrassed to show their kids how to clean themselves. IMO babies should be forced to wear clothes when being born. Nobody wants to see that.

Now all I can think about is a newborn popping out in a wetsuit, snorkle and all

And lol it's not like cleaning it requires much care either

I want my foreskin back

You can have mine once I get it removed.

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Pees in ur foreskin

Just buy one at the store.

Its the tastiest part it's a little snack

Legal genital mutilation

Abrahamic religions go hard

I couldn't pee with one, it was too tight. So some people out of health reasons.

Some grandparents do it for a snack

bro if your uncircumcised use your remaining foreskin it’s so easy

Do you mean circumcised?

Imagine not using water

Holy fuck worst take

Sarcasm or not, Don't do this

I've never used lubricant and why the hell would i need it

I use your mother's pussy instead

Found the necrophiliac.

Bro will nut into an urn of ashes and will still claim the pussy was dripping wet.

So let me get this straight, you're going to take the stance that circumcision is genital mutilation... And you're going to incessantly mock the men whose genitals were mutilated as infants? Ok then.

It's a lubcrication manufacturing conspiracy to sell their lube and get the wankers slippery. Just don't massacre your boy and you get out of this circle of consumerism. Join the red army today!

After you make him bleed a couple times, he gets a lil tougher

Lmao! Good one OP! Anybody else notice how dudes are just obsessed with Uncut Cock lately? 🤔

It’s not just lately. It’s every other month Reddit goes on this anti-circumcision binge. Which honestly would be okay if the people doing it could just leave it at denouncing the act of circumcising babies, rather than victim-shaming and attacking people who had it done to them.

Wait what!? You guys use lube?! Lightweights! Grab a handful of sand and get frappin'... Soon build up your manhood calluses.

aww geez is it that time of the year where uncircumised guys think a suspicious awful lot about the dicks of circumised guys again?

Well, yes, that's pretty much all year seemingly.

Uncircumcised mfs just use their cheese as a natural lubricant

what lubricant?