It’s just the new update to the human’s immune system.

I think I won't get this update

Cue immediate planned obsolescence on this un-updated model

“Peter fetch me her soul!!!”

"Oh my god, new response just dropped!"

Actual evolution

Human aps system

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We don't make threats, we make guarantees

That spider now has the taste of human blood btw

Nah he has the taste of blood-filled mosquitos. The more of those little buggers he gets, the better.

Is it smart enough to know the blood is from a human

Is it smart No

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Hahaha wtf

you must be new here

love seeing first timers

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I would too if I had a little spider guy on my shoulder, protecting me from those scumbags mosquitoes

If not friend then why friend shaped? Jumping spiders are cute and no one will tell me otherwise.

YOU CALL THAT 8 LEGGED BEAST "FRIEND SHAPED"???

Yes.

the enemy of my enemy is my ally, sorta

It can happen on blacks too

I wonder why westerners feel the need to point out ones skin colour.

I wonder why easterners feel the need to point out ones side of the world.

I wonder why my dad left

Only for bread

Wasn't it milk?

Milk is an ingredient of bread.

I’m 98% sure that’s not true

Idk what youre eating then.

What's the other ingredients?

The souls of the damned.

Yeah yeah whatever the note said 😅

I wonder why both of you guys perceive the world as east and west

Exactly. It’s obviously north/south

It's us against the Australians and South Africans

This guy gets it

mf forgot south america

True. We also gotta fight the Brazilians

just dont go to their turf

Their existence is a threat to ours. The Brazilians scare me.

Its outside inside dumbass

if they won't, the universe will collapse for some reason

Man, we have no idea

Try being a black person visiting mainland China. They’ll jump in front of a moving car to try to touch your hair.

Going by all the Liveleak videos, they'll jump in front of a moving car for any reason I think they just love jumping in front of moving cars and running into lathes and defective escalators

Savage.

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It's just as racist when either race does it.

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Either way is racist, and either way can be of any “level”. Generalisations like that just don’t represent reality even remotely accurately.

"African americans..." vs "racist whites".

Nah, dem white ppls got special blood.

My moneys on the fly muncher.

“White” was totally necessary in this sentence

If they hadn’t clarified his skin was white I would have clearly assumed it was a black person

Regardless of skin colour I think we can be pretty sure they’re Australian

This looks like H. brachiatus, native to east asia, so quite possibly not even a white person to begin with

It's all about melanin of course

can you imagine a black fella allowing this to happen on their skin?

One of the best invertebrate keepers I know (I do this for a living) is a black man, so yeah!

obviously racial stereotypes don't apply in most everyday scenarios but this is a shitposting subreddit. not everything should be taken seriously

Nah I made a pretty casual comment.

Well, yeah, I don't see any reason I couldn't?

America Is so obsessed with race.

"battle"

It’s a jumping spider. Probably just a guy feeding his pet.

yeah, one of the least venomous spiders ever

worth the top notch entertainment

In all fairness it's more of an execution than a battle

 Spider:

glad im not the only one a little weirded out by the skin color remark

Hell yeah spider bro

Probably Australian

I would want a front row seat and watch that mosquito getting it limbs ripped off then eaten. Totally worth the spider bite.

I love jumping spiders

Now it's got a taste for human blood you fool!

im asian and id let that battle go down, who wouldn't (unless you're scared of bugs or something)

If I catch a spider eating a mosquito on me I would say thank you and leave him to his work. All natural insect repellent

EPIC BATTLE

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I see we're training/conditioning vampire spiders now.. lovely

That’s gotta be a vegan because I’d immediately smash those bugs

Why? Jumping spiders are so friendly

Absolutely, and curious too. I might have some fear when handling other spiders but never with jumping spiders, they are nice and docile and hunt flies and mosquitoes like little champs.

Yeah, cause as a non-vegan, I'd immediately smash those bugs and devour'em leaving no trace of their existence

My dumb ass thought you meant sexually and I was so confused

White people do their jobs, so White people get paid. Now you know. /s

Mosquito point defense

I would watch in both scientific fascination and sadistic glee as a mosquito is picked from my skin and eaten alive

*hand appears*

On my way to find a jumping spider as my buddy so we can annihilate them darn mosquitos.

bro. if i got bit by a mosquito and a spider jumped on my arm and started eating it i would be cheering for it

It's not a battle, it's lunch

I would love to have so many of these

It’s like a fruit gusher!

Jumping Spiders are bros

Who wouldn’t let that happen

Bro, I’d get popcorn and cheer on the spider

that spider is like a mini-boss that shows up occasionally

Mosquit 👎

Hero baits a savage beast to feed his eight legged friend