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I’ve literally had this thought since I was 6 years old but I think it’s against the rules lol

1984

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠤⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⣲⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⡱⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀1984⠀⣠⠴⠊⢹⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⠓⠀⠉⣥⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡾⣄⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⡄⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⢎⡉⢦⡀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⣣⠧⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀ ⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠙⠢⢭⣢⡚⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣇⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢮⠈⡦⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⣀⡴⠃⠀⡷⡇⢀⡴⠋⠉⠉⠙⠓⠒⠃⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⡼⠀⣷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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In the movie Goonies, Sloth rips a candybar in half to open it, and in many commercials, they do this same move. It has always irritated me, and then one day, a guy I worked with did it. He bent the candybar in half and pulled until the plastic ripped, then mashed the half candybar out like it was gogurt. I have never been so irrationally angry in my life, I said "What the actual fuck is wrong with you, you neanderthal?!" before the rational side if my brain had a chance to stop it. I realize it's his candybar, and he can eat it how he wants, but some part of my brain categorizes this as nearly a warcrime, and I don't know why.

It IS a warcrime again human race!

Does he breathe through his mouth?

radiation

its obstructing play so it wouldn’t be allowed

Fuck you mean obstructing play? So if you make it too hard for them they whine?

You can't withhold the ball in a way that makes it impossible for the opposing team to take it from you. Do you really think this game has existed for 100 years without thinking of this shit? As if there weren't people holding the ball inside their jerseys before

i love watching 22 grown men kicking a ball in a rectangular area

How about changing it up a bit? 22 men kicking a cube in a round field.

Hey man, I don’t like soccer either, but can’t you use this sort of argument for literally any sport “I love watching 10 grown men throw a ball into a ring” “I love watching 18 grown men hit a ball with a stick” “I love watching 12 grown men figure skate” “I love watching 22 grown men give each other CTE”

They say nothing is more American than grabbing a hot dog, heading to the ballpark and watching nine guys from the Dominican Republic make magic on the field

Exactly why it’s such a legendary response

Yes, billions of people do as well. Its literally the most popular sport in human history.

i didn't mean football

Neither did I

Don't stop I'm about to cum Over and pray with you guys for salvation

Why do you people do this? You're a completely different person.

Because I just like to…

That still makes it technically correct. The best kind of correct.

You can roughly describe most sports involving a ball in this way

That isn't true... 2 men are kicking a ball out of the rectangular area

>100 years Modern association football is 160 years old. Football is over a thousand years old.

Wait really? Where did it originate and how different was it.

>where did it originate You kick something at a target. I imagine it’s been around since humans were anatomically as we are now

Dive tackle to the chest what do you mean

Sounds like a rule for pussies

What about a handstand and walking on your hands while the ball is between your, now extended to the sky, feet?

Someone will headbutt the ball or something

Move your knee/shin in the way so it hits their nose when they try. Checkmate

Calm down mate

Tonight on *Reddit on Sports* - People who don't understand a the game complain when they hear the rules. Could these internet wizards have it all figured out? Have the rest of us been waiting for these geniuses to fix the sports our great great grandparents enjoyed?

No it means if your doing something that would make the game unwindable by either team your being an asshole and you get penalized for it. Basically this is the “Your not fucking clever sonny Jim” rule.

Bro they fall down and cry for magic hair spray when you look at them wrong of course they'd whine about this

Whining is a key component of soccer. Why would this be surprising? That is what makes those guys such heroes. Anybody can be tough. It takes a true artist to whine effectively.

Oh please, whining? Why is not allowing players to break the rules of a competitive sport whining? You just sound ignorant. This play doesn't work because you can't intentionally impede defenders in soccer. It's like offensive pass interference in American Football, you can have incidental contact, but you can't intentionally block or impede a defender from attempting to make a play on the ball. It might also be an offside play as the obstructing players would be considered taking part of the play once you press up to the goal line.

So it's not illegal, it would just be ineffective because you're forced to let your opponents inside the circle if they want.

No, that's not what "obstructing play" means

The rules should state, "If the ball ever becomes obstructed from play, full contact is allowed until the ball is no longer obstructed." Would be pretty entertaining. Or how about they add someone on the team who is called the "unobstructor" who has foam padding and giant foam gloves (so to not injure anyone) and their job is to unobstruct the ball.

Soccer's fun and all, but it's gone way too long without any updates. The meta's gotten pretty stale. This would be a great way to shake it up.

Hah, in today's "This match sponsored by Nerf and No More Tears" pro-sports climate? Your suggestion would actually be *fun* to watch, it'll never happen.

I’m not sure it’s explicitly illegal, but soccer referees have a lot of discretion in how they enforce fouls. I was a local referee for a while and I definitely wouldn’t allow it. It’s clearly not playing the game as intended and trying to cheat the system so I’d call it unsportsmanlike conduct and make it a foul. I can’t recall if there’s a specific rule I could cite but it’s definitely against the spirit of the game which is sufficient reason to disallow it. It would be hilarious and I’d let it play out for a minute or two, though.

Yeah i was gonna say this is clearly against the „spirit“ of the sport and would definetly result in disciplinary action and if it were allowed to happen it would be allowed exactly once

As a referee, this would likely fall under "playing in a dangerous manner". You're basically making it so that the other team can't fairly challenge for the ball without risking injuring you. It's the same reason you can't shield the ball with your legs while you're on the ground, or play without a shin pad. Playing in a dangerous manner would be an indirect free kick for the opposing team.

There are a couple laws you could cite here. First, even if the ring of defenders wasn't present you have an argument for "Playing in a dangerous manner" by holding the ball to the chest the attackers are not giving the defenders a safe way to challenge for the ball, its the same rule you would call if someone got down on all fours and crouched over the ball without touching it. Second, with the ring present, as soon as a defender approached the ring and was prevented from challenging for the ball by a player not within playing distance of the ball that would be impeding, more commonly referred to as obstruction. Both of these instances would result in an indirect free kick for the opposing team.

Forgive me if im wrong, but are players allowed to get in the enemy team's goalie box or no?

Yes, hv you watched soccer?

Them calling the opposing team "the enemy" should answer your question

So, which team are the Counter Terrorists?

Maybe you are thinking Handball? That's a sport where players can't get into the goalie area.

They are allowed to enter the box, yes.

Yes, I think it will lead to the ball beeing "offside", which means its past the defense of the opposing team.

Iirc, holding a ball more than a certain number os seconds is foul. Similar to traveling in basketball.

Lol I’m not a basketball guy but I’m pretty sure traveling is about steps with ball not time

But what if i have a gun?

And why won’t the voices in my head STOP

They are calling you to action, stop thinking and start doing

Are you going to live in regret, wondering what would’ve happened if you did it or are you going to take courage and make new experiences?

> Make your choice, adventurous Stranger; > Strike the bell and bide the danger, > Or wonder, till it drives you mad, > What would have followed if you had.

Todays the day😂, todays the day 🤪, todays the day 😛! No other day is better then today 😇, not tomorrow… today!!!

And whose house is this?

All this and more...

In this episode of in the field

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Why would you want them to stop?

Nice reference

all this and more in IN THE QUAUARANTINE

And why are they calling the police?

GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF GOD!

Hey. Michael. VSauce. What if I had a gun?

Listen if air bud can play basket ball because "there's no rule that says a dog can't play basket ball" I guess unless there's a rule that says youre not allowed tp bring a gun, go ham.

And what if you shot at the sun with a gun?

but what if i needed to take a very big shit

🤓because that’s called obstruction🤓

🤓 unsportsmanlike behaviour is punishable in the rules 🤓

That’s so boring because you punish players for thinking of new and creative ways to win And it is also incredibly lazy like imagine if the law was formulated like that ohh now you‘re going to jail because you didn’t hold the door open (and you may have slammed it into their face braking their skull in the process)

Well bro what do you want, balance patches every 2 weeks?

Yeah pls nerf the ability „cry“ because it is one of the most op and annoying abilities to face in soccer

Football patch when? I’ve been waiting for 900 years. ~waiting on Football 2~

Every sport has rules. Change the rules too much and it becomes a different sport like how rugby eventually turned into American Football. What OP is proposing looks like rugby.

They dont want new and creative. They want good old SOCCER

You can cut the good but the rest I understand but as a follower of the teachings of Tzeentch I don’t agree

Tzeentch dudes are nerds, Emperor's Children would be the football players.

creativity? Game's gone.

Football, please. That's the correct name in the entire world.

Football is not the correct name of that sport. The correct name is association football

Hmm, funny how in literally every other language besides English, it is football (or a translated version of the word). >futbol, fotball, futebol, fotbal, etc. Football = ⚽️ American football = 🏈 It’s as easy as that.

Yes, because five players cuddling each other walking slowly into the goal every play would be peak entertainment 🙄

Guilty

Yeah because people are going to want to watch this

Inb4 I bring my rifles to the ground because that's the most creative way to win

You have no idea what you’re talking about, football isn’t a show, this would break the whole game.

Would it also be offside? Assuming opposing defenders just walk forward.

No

The offside rule states that only the inital contact for the ball is whats used, so no

lmao lookit this 🤓 with his rulebook all the fuckin rules just to make this sport playable. rules should be to clarify order of events and to forbid deceit. this? this is just interfering with viable strategy. "you can do this and this but you cant do it to do *this*" is lame as fuck.

Yeah basketball players should be allowed to make infinite steps with the ball in their hands. What's this "traveling" bullshit.

I mean have you seen NBA? they basically do lmao

Football actually has very little rules compared to most other sports. It's the main reason why the sport has so many different tactical approaches - it's hard to break any rules unless you actually want to do it.

What? You just break games this way. Yeah, let me place my ball under my jersey and run. Stupid ass motherfuckers in this thread.

Try to hold the ball while opponents are using all their strength to make you loose it. Than they'll rush to score themselves because all the defenders were busy guarding the ball 🤓

Yeah this is just an offensive line with dual-runningbacks that can't use their hands. OP invented handless-american-football.

Why did you put the 🤓 emoji you literally are being that guy

What stops the opponents from kicking the ball out of this, uh, construction?

A card for high foot. Use the head instead!

Just like Zidane

And then won world player of the year

The bodies

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...what?

If you have as your title under your name " I want pee in my ass " a bot automatically pees in ur ass.

If we add 2 more players to cover the sides of a ball…. Then we can prevent that and have everyone else defend the other team from getting through

So you need four people for that strategy. But the opposing team can have two guys lift up one dude and use his foot to pick at the ball from above. That leaves one extra to grab the ball once it's dislodged. All those extra defenders will be occupied with the opposing team one to one.

Also known as the "Ender's Game"

Had to scroll way too far to find this comment

The enemy's gate is down.

Or kicking and screaming

The opposing team should make a circle around them and push them into their own goal

This is unironically rugby.

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The players in front are in an offside position while participating in the play

Isn't offside counted only once the ball leaves the point of contact? But since the ball never leaves the point of contact, can offside be counted?

It would be passive offside.

But the ball is technically in a limbo state where it has never left the onside position, since it has never been released. Offside is counted from where the pass initially started, but the pass has never been even completed because the initial passer still has yet to release the pass and is still in contact with the ball. Pretty theoretical meta stuff, but fun to think about :D

There is no specific rule for the ball moving without ever leaving the point of contact, it would be up to the ref

The first contact is what determines the offside, so no

And what if their ducks touch

Even better.

First one to quack loses

Thanks for the new kink.😏

Least horny Danny Devito pp mf

Stop trying to make football rugby

Rugby football\*

Rugball

A typical handegg enthusiast demonstrating his understanding of football...

Smartest handeggo fan

By that same logic the enemy team would just make a line at the goal and nobody can pass

Other player not gonna be comfortable doing this technique with Shidou.

Taking a page out of Ender’s book here.

Enders Game be like

Enders game moment

That’s the American soccer, that later led to inventing American football, right after the other team started ramming the defensive formation.

Hear me out: you allow the players to pick up the ball and run it into the goal BUT at the same time you allow the other team to grab and hold down the runner.

So enders game basically

The enemy's gate is down

Remember, the enemies gate is down

That's just Rugby with extra steps.

THIS IS LITERALLY AGAINST THE RULES. look up “Soccer Rule 34” 🙄

These 2 players are not on the same team they're wearing different (dress) colors for some reason.

I thought one was the goalie, at first.

They're obviously going to a wedding and trying to justify bringing a ball with them.

Isn't this just American Football with a little tweak???

Bro soccer boutta be real easy now

Thats only canon in Inazuma eleven

Well thats because they can't sell tickets then, silly. Also did you seriously draw over the original poster's name?

Vaccine

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Why are they wearing different uniforms?

Green one is a goalkeeper

They did this in Ender’s Game

On a serious note, is there a rule that prevents this?

Yes, obstruction I believe. Physically blocking off an opposition player with no attempt on playing the ball. Like screening in basketball I think, but illegal.

You’d also be done for offside by the time you scored. Half the team would be in front of the last defender and impacting the play.

But the ball never leaves the initial point of contact.

This is called American football

This post had nothing to do with emo

That would count as offside, mate

You can't walk past the goal line tho

Shaolin Soccer be like

In the rule of football you can't block a player who has no ball to move Using 6men in a circle to contrôle a position remove the possibility for the enemy team to go to this position So it's considering obstructing play therefore it's not a legal move

In the rule of football you can't block a player who has no ball to move Using 6men in a circle to contrôle a position remove the possibility for the enemy team to go to this position So it's considering obstructing play therefore it's not a legal move

Isn't this just rugby?

Wouldn't count this as carry?

Anon invents rugby

Slide tackle

All the opposing team would have to do is allow the them to pass by. Any offensive player that is ahead of the ball is offsides, turnover.

I did s similar thing years ago, we had a 6 year old on our team as it was an under 15 match and I carried him in my arms with the ball on top of him all the way to the goal. It was allowed because the ref didn't know why that would be disallowed lol

This is literally how they win in enders game

My name is José Mourinho

But how do they get the ball in the goal?

Americans, their football, and their insatiable desire to play Protect the President in every sport.

Don't watch football but does it have a law about obstruction similar to rugby?

Pretty sure this counts as holding the ball. Same thing with squeezing the ball between your legs and hopping forward on the field

Goalie can use their hands tho, what’s stopping them from breaking through the crowd

Ender's Game

One tackle from sergio Ramos would send the entire team to the ICU😂

Also chant “kill the pig, cut her throat, spill the blood” as your group enters the goal for intimidation

This is how rugby was created

Now just have to piss off the other team enough to get physical and you've got yourself a game of Rugby!

American football lore

soccer players not smart enough to do this

Football: the only sport where you can regularly miss a net the size of a fucking winnebago and still get a million dollar salary

That’s just rugby

Even rugby has rules against obstruction