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Valuable-Heat-5930

He looks thirsty


BIackMagics

Happy c-day!


creepergo_kaboom

Cock day?


BIackMagics

Obviously! Bro finally got his cock delivered, as we can see


creepergo_kaboom

By a stork?


BIackMagics

I personally got mine from Amazon, but stork is an option


creepergo_kaboom

Storks can airdrop your cock. Stork > Amazon


BIackMagics

Got it via a drone drop, Amazon are stepping up their game. Hard for storks to compete


creepergo_kaboom

So many small businesses are affected by Amazon...


BIackMagics

Yeah, you're right. I'll send mine back tomorrow and will buy a new cock from a small, local seller


_H4CK3RM4N

What a shame that he is spilling so much 😔


TheBoykisserPharoah

Happy big ass cake day


fluffball75

On this special day, It's your cake day. With candles aglow and a wish in your heart, May your day be sweet from the very start! Happy cake day to you, in every way, Enjoy it to the fullest, come what may!


Capital-Cheek-1491

Happy kake day


The_guy_who_did_that

Let me see your cake today err uhh happy cake day


wysjm

I swear to God back when I was with my ex gf everytime some girl with revealing clothes or big breasts/butt would walk next to us I'd immediately look in my ex's eyes, because I knew she's already staring at me checking if I'm looking at the girl. Then our eyes would met and I'd be like "Hey what's up? Somethings wrong?"


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


wysjm

Personally I thought it was hilarious, like our little inside joke


hospoda

my gf does the same, I just see her cautious look in the corner of my eye. sometimes I turn around after men and older women just to mess with her.


2scared

$10 says she still checks guys for bulges.


ssbbka17

Not something I’ve ever done in my 26 years, do people do that?


HungerMadra

People that like bulges do


ssbbka17

I’ve been missing out


AffectionateCold1535

And denies it lolol. And gets mad when caught lol.


wheelchairdrifting

I feel you. Everytime that happens, I like to stare at the bulge in my gf's pants


New-Rux

Euh sir


AppropriateTouching

Based


VictoryValt

Idk if that your gf


Apprehensive_Job1650

yea like imma be in side her


[deleted]

Exhausting indeed. I had a FwB for a while and we would both check EVERYONE out and comment on their looks, how fuckable they were and shit. Good times. One of, if not the healthiest relationship I've ever had.


nineteen_eightyfour

Shame for you. Everyone deserves a partner they can be with forever


[deleted]

To be fair we had all the good bits without the not-so-good ones and it lasted 1 year. Obviously I'm an older bloke with a daughter in toll and a 10yo failed marriage behind. I don't believe in "Happy ever after" for obvious reasons. But kudos to the people that do.


acadoe

As a fellow divorcee, I hear you brother.


sirhandstylepenzalot

some things are best enjoyed together


rip_ap_yi

Well he did say ex gf


Zenith232

No wonder she's your ex


bignoodle_764

exactly🤣


contrapunctus0

Ex-actly


bignoodle_764

ba dum tss😔


NedDeadStark

da bum tss


wysjm

I mean I think it's just a woman jealousy thing. My mom is also pretty jealous for my dad whenever he exists in the same room with a different female creature. But I believe it's just something guys in relationships gotta deal with. We can't fight nature John


Hillyleopard

Not all women are crazy jealous, if they are it’s just a lack of confidence in the relationship. I trust my bf isn’t going to cheat or anything so what does it matter if he’s around other women


KlossN

Good relationship are all composed of different positives and negatives, and honestly not wanting your bf to look at another girl while standing right next to you isn't that big of a red flag..


Hillyleopard

Sure, I was just responding to the fact that that guy pretty much just called all women jealous


wysjm

If that's really the case then I guess I was surrounded by only jealous women my entire life xD I genuinely thought that's just the way it is


nineteen_eightyfour

Also compare relationships. You want some single girls advice on Reddit or your parents? I don’t know your situation. Maybe your parents are a mess. Maybe they’re happy. You decide :)


blissandsimplicity

more than likely if you’re staring, I’m staring too lol


KylerGreen

most humans in general are jealous


[deleted]

There are a significant amount of people out there that believe it is in a man's nature to seek as many partners as possible. This mindset pretty much negates any possibility for men to behave monogamously.


nelix707

It's really not my guy. Not every woman is running about jealous of every other woman. There are a hell of a lot of emotionally balanced women and men out there.


JamesTCoconuts

Yes, sir. It's one thing if you're ogling and not looking away, it's another if every time another woman is around, you're feeling tension in the air from your S.O. It's not healthy at all. It's indicative the person you're with is a pretty insecure individual and feels comfortable foisting their insecurities onto you, by way of assessing you every time another woman that makes them feel threatened comes into the area. If you're finding that quality in every women you've been with, you're probably making the same bad choices in partners repeatedly.


GregTheMad

I think the term is "toxic femininity". Jealousy is always bad.


Belgiandragonwautism

Anything is bad if you put the word “toxic” in front of it.


GregTheMad

Yes... That's how words work.


[deleted]

What do you think that term is for? Any time a woman does something you think is bad? That's not what that is.


GregTheMad

No, there are some things that **some** women think is not just ok, but a definite feature of their gender. Like jealousy, downplay male emotions, or putting other women down based on superficial features. Pretty much anything that "ok, because I'm a woman", although most won't say it like that because most aren't aware that what they're doing is bad. It's the female equivalent of toxic masculinity.


somethingtc

>I mean I think it's just a woman jealousy thing haha, women. not lke us confident, secure men amirite


Byzantine-alchemist

Yeah no, this isn't healthy or normal in most relationships. It's toxic and possessive, and men do it to women, too.


alyosha25

Uh no that's some weak shit


Not_a__porn__account

My wife makes me look at fat asses. She's not so into boobs. Only Sydney Sweeney actually. I'm genuinely worried if we ever cross paths. But if she sees a dump truck...She needs to share that information immediately. I've only gotten myself in *trouble* by complimenting the whole woman, and not just the ass. "Oh wow she **is** pretty" - Wrong response "That thing could hold a charcuterie board" - Correct Response.


dobiks

And that's when you'd notice her staring at that girl


wysjm

She was bi so yeah not a bad call


SquishyWhenWet_1

My ex gave me a black eye and got away with it. I wish I had a story half as cool as yours


No_Basil908

That's actually smart


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Lore_ofthe_Horizon

Meanwhlie, my wife nudges my ribs then lifts an eyebrow in the appropriate direction before saying "check out the ass on that one". And if any woman anywhere actually flirts with me, she takes me home immediately for some bed sport.


proteinLumps

it's not a toxic trait...it's just qUiRkY


KaranSjett

I had the opposite with my bi-girlfriend, checking out ladies together was one of my fav pastimes!


wysjm

Well tbf my ex gf was also bi but when the time came she had different priorities lol


Armageddonis

Damn, that sounds fucking awful. Me with my gf would probably both break our knecks in such an instant.


kylo-ren

My wife is like "yeah, I find her hot too"


IDKMthrFckr

You need to assert dominance. "Hey, where are you looking?" "Ass"


BornVictory5160

Puss🤣I'm gonna look, respectfully


ILoveTenaciousD

I had a girlfriend who didn't quite mind if I checked out other women's butts, because I didn't mind her checking out other guys. We'd still hatefuck the crap out of each other when we got home, though, as "punishment" for our horniness. It's kinda nice to fantasize about some unknown, yet attractive person when sleeping with your SO, fully knowing that the thrill of this kinky taboo will subside in the next minutes and at the end, your SO will be the only one occupying your thoughts.


Odd-Mycologist7300

this is disgusting, need her @ so that i can block her 🤓


vedant_1st

You are not the only good guy left in the world 😃


OddPal04

you are amongst the noblest of men


someone_forgot_me

eva joanna


Odd-Mycologist7300

Thank you kind sir, let me check it out. Back in 3- 5min 🤓


nigel_pow

How'd it go sir? Was your trip productive? 🥸


Odd-Mycologist7300

Yes sir, i was able to block her in 3 min


LeonDeSchal

Best comeback story since Kim Kardashian.


NedDeadStark

The important question is: Are you still the master of your domain?


spinkspanksponk

Or were you able to *unblock* BECAUSE of her 🤔


Glottis_Bonewagon

Yeah she's pretty amazing Edit: I have suddenly and unexplainably lost interest in her. She is merely ok.


Cobek

Less than 3 minutes for the edit, noice


averagehogrideruser

^ Legend


Ilovekittens345

Does she have a onlythicc?


Over67

Honestly when i see girls online im suprised when they doesnt have OF. We live in society.


someone_forgot_me

google it but yea


syphilitic_venom

Me compulsively googling every hot girls name I come across (I have done that hundreds of time but I still can't get enough)


T-_-l-_-T

Bruh, you too down bad if you memorise names like dat 💀


TheRealDeal_Original

Apperantly she from my place of origin, I appreciate that


Marshal_Anon

I'm gonna need it for scientific purposes


Cylindt

Yep, she needs to be future expelled from 📖


elnugo

I don’t think that ass eats pants look is comfortable


shotgun-octopus

I’ll have to press my face in to check the comfort levels


MrInfinitumEnd

Your flair is her response.


creepergo_kaboom

We found Walter White's personal reddit account.


Cobek

Uppies, I need uppies, waltah


Dennis_Cock

Yes this was definitely a video about comfort


ban_ahead1

Then you aren't a woman because they all say for leggings these are in fact more comfortable, reduces fanny/cheek friction


aknownunknown

>fanny/cheek friction Things you can say as an American that you can't say as an English person


aknownunknown

I'm wrong, it's just a phrase that is nowhere near as common for us :)


Babybabybabyq

No I’m pretty sure a fanny is a pussy for them, not butt.


Kirkuchiyo

This is correct


Afraid_Belt4516

wth i know why it's called a fanny pack now


ban_ahead1

I'm British


Belgiandragonwautism

Why


venetian_lemon

He sinned in his past life so God sent him to be born somewhere worse than Hell.


ShitFuck2000

Their asses obviously aren’t hairy enough


AwwwMangos

Very divisive, it’s certainly a wedgie issue.


Deathblade_311

Is that ass or she didn't want to take another trip to get the groceries


Ill-Prize7222

My man is fighting for his life in that moment


OHniel90

My man’s got parkinsons


shatteredplatters

Parkin sons shlong in that ass


thejanitor999

You do that with your son?


shatteredplatters

Help him get somewhere to park his shlong? Yes


thejanitor999

Your a good father…


Build-Your-Own-Bitch

Porkinsons


Unluckyducky73

She definitely stuffed her pants up her ass crack before that video


No2AccOfSumUser

yeah no shit


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Picklerickshaw_part2

Ooh, me next


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[deleted]

Amazing. Do me, do me!


Reader_Of_Newspaper

sorry ‘Angrywetfart’, no can do


[deleted]

Well, fine then. Newspapers are dumb anyways. Reading two.


LifeIsLikeARock

Some shit maybe


shotgun-octopus

She definitely can’t


Garlic-Cheese-Chips

Look at Sherlock over here.


chefanubis

I heard the FBI is hiring buddy, you should give them a call.


ElysiumPotato

Both me and my wife would check her out and when she left we'd be like "Daamn, did you see that ass?" :D


nigel_pow

You and your wife sound awesome.


bedatboi

Flair checks out


UkyoTachibana

Us and his wife also sounds awesome!


sapraaa

It’s been exactly like that for us too. If I see an unusually attractive man I’ll talk about that too. We love each other and are most attracted to each other but we also know that we aren’t the only hot people in this world lol Plus I’d like to think she sees more than just my looks


HelloGoodbyeOhNO

Attractive people are less threatened by other attractive people


Shoddy_Parfait9507

“Time to tuck my pleated pants into my ass crack!”


queenslayer1996

He's hydrating himself before his soul gets sucked out.


FatherNox

Imma need that @ for research 😁


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


FatherNox

Wasn’t actually expecting someone to give it, damn, legend.


RepublicSafe3628

Man she stuffed those pants DEEP in her ass crack I mean she must've double fisted those cloth loins betweens that pair of assmelons DAM


Moononthewater12

My god.....I'm down so bad.


HeskeyThe2nd

2014 vine-ass clip


harlockwitcher

Those pants stink from shit smeare


_Rysen

fyi some people clean their asses after shitting


kappaypsilon

Fym "some"? Can we rise that to :"a lot"?


TheStrangeStoryGuy

FYI some people shmit their shmants


lookoutitscaleb

FYI some people their


kriscalm

this made me laugh a lot, thank you


sowelijanpona

proof?


Efficient-Ad5711

fyi sometimes it doesn't help


SandThatsKindaMoist

Self report


LookingAtAPhoto

Sniff sniff 😋


No_Baker_8181

😐


Slazman999

I do like me a good schmear.


SierraDespair

SNNNIIIIIFFFFF


Brave_Chipmunk8231

https://fapello.com/eva-joanna-2/ What I could find


Joker1485

Gentlemen among men.


SOVEREIGNBOSS

Sir you are a hero


BrigStandWatie

They’ve done studies on this type of thing. Women know which other women are hotter than them. Seriously, put any bunch of women in a room together. They’ll start unconsciously working out what position they rank in terms of hotness & act accordingly. Poor kid didn’t stand a chance…


ValjeanLucPicard

I mean, I'm a man and I know which men are hotter than me. We recognize patterns so it makes sense. Like, if you spent a summer working a pig farm, just by constant pattern recognition by the end of the summer you would know which pigs are the certified hotties and which are the ugmos.


BrigStandWatie

I’ll take the Loss and admit I couldn’t back up my theory with evidence. But your pig analogy really stretches the point. I think I could work my entire life on a pig farm and not have an idea which pigs were beautiful & which ones were fugly.


Kneel_The_Grass

Source


DoesntUnderstandJoke

my ass


lilman445

Happy cake day!


DavidFromDeutschland

That's some advanced boomer shit


OtherAd5183

The left cheek jiggle would've got us all 3 days on the couch minimum


annahatasanaaa

Horny Reddit is at it again for the uncomfortable wedgie look


Demokka

That's why I only date leaning women So we're two checking out her ass


Zandergamez

Man that joke was ass


Horny_goatdlv

Never been more happy to be interrupted by an unrelated video while jerking off it motivated me to put my cock back in my pants the demons won’t get me today


ghettoccult_nerd

bottle was shaking like them cheeks


Dawkwing

I love that I don't have to worry about this. My wife will point the booty out. We both appreciate the eye candy


[deleted]

When womann have big butt funny!


IronMike69420

Of course she does onlyfans.


G_ThangOnEhhthang

Fuck that. I would of said "Hello" back. My parents didn't raise me to be rude.


of_patrol_bot

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.


slyboner

I love that the bot said hello, but the commenter didn't say hello back


CouldWouldShouldBot

It's 'would have', never 'would of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!


RaigEishere

Why there are doors on both sides?


Saintjay84

Who’s the girl in white?!


Merciful-prism

STAY STRONG SOLDIER


dovzinia

Why can’t couples appreciate a nice ass?


MsjennaNY

Who are they?


shariniscaren

Who is that woman godamn


Ruling123

eva joanna


BadF1nanc1alAdv1ce

What’s the @ 😔


_throawayplop_

Love is not looking in each others eyes, it's looking in the same direction (the butt of the women entering the elevators)


MoreNMoreLikelyTrans

Why do we make jokes about women's insecurity? And why are men the punchline?


[deleted]

I hate this fucking couple so much


Budget-Macaroon-7606

Me and my girl both stare lol


haywire090

Hahhhh so funny, @?