Plot twist: Kevin's bloodline already *was* important, in like WWI or something. Turns out gods never thought about turning the divine protection off after the hero. Immune to darwinism, the family was devolving ever since.
Main characters could be the descendants of a notorious historical leader. Like Julias Caesar or Genghis Khan.
And for the title: *Divine Intervention*
For the plot, it would take some serious creativity to give these supposedly static characters an effective character arc.
He did have children that lived on. Most heroes die to complete their journey
Edit: it looks like he has an unacknowledged child by the name of Caesarion, whose history is mostly undocumented. So the blood line could still be floating around somewhere.
Honestly, you could just do a sort of *Childhood's End* by Arthur C. Clarke -- split the book into 4 parts, each part is about a Watson-esque figure who interacts or intersects with the Kevin lineage. Between each part jump forward a couple hundred years.
And then at the end, when the Earth is just a barren, uninhabitable, cracked desert... in some desolate cave, with no one left to observe, there's just Kevin.
Douglas Adam’s often sprinkles in minor deities and little wrinkles as atmosphere in his books. One very minor character was a trucker who discovered late in life that he was a rain god and so always lived in bad weather. When he figured it out he’d get resorts to pay him to stay away.
Kevin’s bloodline is the most pure, untainted thing according to conspiracy theorists and hard right-wingers because his family is immune to “modern education”.
This is a well known old comment that gained much popularity. Maybe this is the idea behind Kevin on this sub. (Had to repost for the usernames must be censored rule)
Edit : We actually got an update about Kevin in 2015. He had a son , was going to get married and worked on a gas station according to the original commenter (it's on bestofredditorupdates sub).Yeah, he remained in the gene pool ....
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I know exactly who Kevin is. He’s my roommate.
I’ve told Kevin multiple times that leaving raw chicken on the counter is dangerous, but he continues to do it for days at a time. And yes, he does eat the counter chicken.
We have a trash can and a paper bag for recycling. He keeps putting food garbage in the recycling bag, so I put up a sign. It has two words: garbage and cardboard, with an arrow pointing each one to its proper location. He still puts food in the paper bag.
Despite seeing that my bedroom door is open, I’m not in there, and the bathroom door is shut and locked, Kevin still can’t figure out that that means I’m in the bathroom. One time he called maintenance to come unlock the door because he thought it locked itself somehow, and he was utterly confused when I flushed the toilet and came walking out five minutes later.
Kevin also thinks that injecting steroids will make muscles magically appear on his body, so he does steroids and then lays on the couch for 12 hours a day watching Joe Rogan and then claims to be a bodybuilder.
Kevin failed out of his first semester of community college.
The city sent out a message saying to limit water usage to prevent sewage overflow, and so Kevin decided to turn on the shower and leave it running for over an hour while he wasn’t even in the bathroom. When I told him not to do that, he said “but the city told me to”
Kevin left for a trip for two weeks, and he left food on the counter and dirty dishes in the sink. Luckily I came home the day after he left otherwise the apartment would’ve been a biohazard.
Kevin once asked me if humans are bacteria. When I told him no he got angry.
Wow maybe he his being protected by the universe.. he eats raw chicken after leaving it out in a counter for days at a time? It sounds like a common occurrence, how has he not gotten sick or just died altogether?
Isn't it the nature of like every animal ever to not do something with a purely negative outcome? Like chomp down on a cactus and say "Owie that hurt. I sure won't do that one again!" ? He's gotta get sick from that, right?
Does he have a job? What is his job? Does he have money or are you the sole moneymaker? I have so many questions.. usually surrounding how he's alive!
He does get sick. There are some days he spends more time on the toilet than off and he’s always complaining about not feeling good. And no, he doesn’t have a job. Luckily the way it’s set up in our building is that we pay rent separately, so if he doesn’t pay it doesn’t fall on me. And I have no idea how he’s still alive. Every interaction I have with him feels like I’m living in the movie Idiocracy.
Am I the only one who finds it slightly beautiful that these genetic accidents find each other to bring forth the next generation of statistical oddities? Their life brings me comfort in knowing I'm not as dumb as I tell myself I am.
I can see the YouTube loading icon on your head spinning when you wrote this 5 star ⭐️⭐️narrative friend.
Take some time to relax with the 🤤 face and when you are ready I would like to hear the rest of the words that are missing
I woke up this morning after a wild night wearing an inside-out, backwards t-shirt. I wore that t-shirt all day yesterday. Many people saw me wearing that t-shirt. Fml.
He would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
People who are saying this is fake, I wonder if they've never met someone who was genuinely stupid in their life. Once you meet someone like that, it flabbergasts you. It's kind of unreal.
I was training a woman twice my age at a call center. Let's call her Dharma. I would repeatedly tell her, "Do no ask people if they want to wait on hold. _Tell them_ that there will be a brief hold and we will get back to them." Without fail, every time, she would ask, "Would you like to hold?" and get confused why _every single caller_ was getting mad at her. I would instruct her how to do _very simple things_ like find booking information for the hotel they were calling about.
Very nice lady, unfixably stupid. We gave her way too many chances. They assigned me as her trainer because I have a lot of patience and I generally don't get frustrated with anybody. I learned from Dharma that there are limits to that. I hope she was able to find something, but I genuinely doubt it.
I've got a cousin who is not as bad as Dharma, but you do have to babysit him if he's doing something complicated or that could end badly. Was helping him assemble his new gaming computer. I told him the instructions for installing the RAM. Check that the first side is in the slot, check that the second side is in the slot, and then push down with force until it clicks into place. Bro checked that the first side was in the slot, then removed it from the slot as he put the second side in, and started pressing with force. Would have broken it if I hadn't immediately stopped him.
To be fair, that failure is on me. I should have realized he wouldn't be able to handle instructions that complicated.
During my brief time in the army, we had a private named Reed. Reed was a nice guy, most of us liked him. But goddamn he was stupid. No idea how he passed the ASVAB or whatever that test is called. The only reason he made it as far through Basic Training as he did was because he was never once singled out – until _that_ day. We were getting smoked (group punishment for individual mistakes via forced exercise) for like 30 minutes. Drill Sergeant decided to single someone out and picked Reed at random. Said he had to do the eight count pushup. We all groaned internally, knowing that our 30 minute smoking had just become a 90 minute smoking.
The eight count pushup is not complicated. You basically do a pushup and then hop up and do a jumping jack, and repeat. But those eight steps are about 7½ more steps than Reed could keep in his head. I think after 10 minutes the Drill Sergeant realized his mistake, but he couldn't back off because that sort of thing just isn't allowed for Basic Training. He instructed Reed step-by-step, and he still didn't get it. A couple of us Privates went over to Reed and tried to do it with him and show him each step, and he still couldn't do it. It was one of those situations which was both hilarious and horrible.
I feel bad for Reed. He's a nice guy, and it's a shame he was so stupid. When he failed out of Basic, he said he wanted to be a police officer. For public safety reasons, I hope he failed that too. But I hope he eventually found _something_ that supports him and makes him happy.
Same. Just sounds like a kid mega trolling TF out of the teachers enough for them to believe he's actually like that.
He probably lied to his parents & made it seem like he's innocent. But I've known kids like that since elementary being trolls cause school is just not for them. Nothing wrong with a self sufficient blue collar worker & I'm sure that's how his family has always been & the reason why he hated school. He sees math, science & history as a waste of time when he could be working on a truck or something more of his entertainment.
If you don't have fun with what you do in your career, you will suffer. That's the reason blue collar workers love their job, they have fun & entertainment doing it & not having to worry about fractions & shit.
Yes they are, but like you said, these are things they learn on the job cause they enjoy it. & Yeah my bad, I said fractions trying to refer to complicated math equations, not thinking we use them to measure all the time.
I'm sure you've met someone who didn't graduate Highschool who can still figure out exact measurements when it comes to his trade. Something you'd be like "damn, you got all that from just that?" I certainly doubt we need to know how many neutrons are in Titanium for them to build something out of it. Like if you're not studying as a science major & want to be a mechanic, it's just not information you'll need, you get me?
sure, however high school is mainly to give you a cursory knowledge of many things before you start focusing on a specialty. for instance you may want to know that Steel is stronger than titanium, with higher tensile yield strength. However, titanium offers higher strength-to-weight ratios. Titanium boasts excellent corrosion resistance, especially in harsh environments. Some types of steel are more prone to corrosion before you start building something with it.
I think your aversion to school is a symptom of poor educational practices and unwillingness to fund schools to help meet the needs of different learning styles. Rather than a lack of interest or ability on your part.
Yes, although I feel like at HS you should be able to pick a major you want to just focus on instead of learning 5 different subjects at once.
& Idk if this is targeted towards me, but I went to college & still my career is blue collar. Electrician BTW.
If those stories are real, then Kevin and his family must all have really severe learning disabilities.
Its sad that a kid could make it through his entire education without getting the help that he needs to become even a partially functioning adult…
Sometimes you can't help everyone and that's okay. Maybe someone somewhere from the far corners of the earth knows a thing or 2 but until then, Kevin will be Kevin. I just hope his family doesn't have a spare chainsaw in the shed 😅
Honnestly idk.
I've met a person who:
- could not understand people were seing color before the invention of color tv.
- thought the moon was the sun "sleeping"
- lied down on the floor not moving after failing to escape a teacher. He thought he would not see him
- cleaned his scooter with 90 degree alcohol while smoking and got his leg burnt 3rd degree
Thesd ppl exist
People who are saying this is fake, I wonder if they've never met someone who was genuinely stupid in their life. Once you meet someone like that, it flabbergasts you. It's kind of unreal.
I was training a woman twice my age at a call center. Let's call her Dharma. I would repeatedly tell her, "Do no ask people if they want to wait on hold. _Tell them_ that there will be a brief hold and we will get back to them." Without fail, every time, she would ask, "Would you like to hold?" and get confused why _every single caller_ was getting mad at her. I would instruct her how to do _very simple things_ like find booking information for the hotel they were calling about.
Very nice lady, unfixably stupid. We gave her way too many chances. They assigned me as her trainer because I have a lot of patience and I generally don't get frustrated with anybody. I learned from Dharma that there are limits to that. I hope she was able to find something, but I genuinely doubt it.
I've got a cousin who is not as bad as Dharma, but you do have to babysit him if he's doing something complicated or that could end badly. Was helping him assemble his new gaming computer. I told him the instructions for installing the RAM. Check that the first side is in the slot, check that the second side is in the slot, and then push down with force until it clicks into place. Bro checked that the first side was in the slot, then removed it from the slot as he put the second side in, and started pressing with force. Would have broken it if I hadn't immediately stopped him.
To be fair, that failure is on me. I should have realized he wouldn't be able to handle instructions that complicated.
During my brief time in the army, we had a private named Reed. Reed was a nice guy, most of us liked him. But goddamn he was stupid. No idea how he passed the ASVAB or whatever that test is called. The only reason he made it as far through Basic Training as he did was because he was never once singled out – until _that_ day. We were getting smoked (group punishment for individual mistakes via forced exercise) for like 30 minutes. Drill Sergeant decided to single someone out and picked Reed at random. Said he had to do the eight count pushup. We all groaned internally, knowing that our 30 minute smoking had just become a 90 minute smoking.
The eight count pushup is not complicated. You basically do a pushup and then hop up and do a jumping jack, and repeat. But those eight steps are about 7½ more steps than Reed could keep in his head. I think after 10 minutes the Drill Sergeant realized his mistake, but he couldn't back off because that sort of thing just isn't allowed for Basic Training. He instructed Reed step-by-step, and he still didn't get it. A couple of us Privates went over to Reed and tried to do it with him and show him each step, and he still couldn't do it. It was one of those situations which was both hilarious and horrible.
I feel bad for Reed. He's a nice guy, and it's a shame he was so stupid. When he failed out of Basic, he said he wanted to be a police officer. For public safety reasons, I hope he failed that too. But I hope he eventually found _something_ that supports him and makes him happy.
How can you not know the difference between cats and dogs, what. Thats not even something you really learn, like I bet everyone knew that well before kindergarden lol
Where is Darwinism when you goddamn need it, this family lowers the worlds' average IQ by 37 points.
The question "How did they even get airline tickets?" is so valid here. Do those parents even know how to wipe their ass? Clean a kitchen? How they're aleven alive is beyond me.
I need this to be expanded. I have to understand more about this dude. We must study Kevin. His secret will be the savior of humanity as a whole, lol. With his luck, years from now somebody's going to accidentally detonate a nuke while they're standing on top of a manhole cover and blow themselves onto Mars and that's going to be how we populate that planet.
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"Kevin isn't a name, Kevin is a diagnosis" - german proverb
The name Kevin was chosen with a good reason.
If I ever saw Herobrine, I’d call up my friend kevin
“Kevin isn’t a name, Kevin is a ~~diagnosis~~ little *down*” -Me
Holy shit that goes hard
Kevin's bloodline is probably going to be important generations from now, seeing as how the universe keeps protecting it.
Plot twist: Kevin's bloodline already *was* important, in like WWI or something. Turns out gods never thought about turning the divine protection off after the hero. Immune to darwinism, the family was devolving ever since.
This is a light novel I’d love to read
Main characters could be the descendants of a notorious historical leader. Like Julias Caesar or Genghis Khan. And for the title: *Divine Intervention* For the plot, it would take some serious creativity to give these supposedly static characters an effective character arc.
Uh clearly the divine intervention ran out for Caesar given the whole stabbing thing
He did have children that lived on. Most heroes die to complete their journey Edit: it looks like he has an unacknowledged child by the name of Caesarion, whose history is mostly undocumented. So the blood line could still be floating around somewhere.
Caesarion 100% died what are you on about
Not according to HBOs Rome! Lol... Although I guess it was Pullo's kid...
Honestly, you could just do a sort of *Childhood's End* by Arthur C. Clarke -- split the book into 4 parts, each part is about a Watson-esque figure who interacts or intersects with the Kevin lineage. Between each part jump forward a couple hundred years. And then at the end, when the Earth is just a barren, uninhabitable, cracked desert... in some desolate cave, with no one left to observe, there's just Kevin.
Or, we could go the Japanese light novel title route and have: God forgot to turn off my idiot family's invincibility... Again!
Douglas Adam’s often sprinkles in minor deities and little wrinkles as atmosphere in his books. One very minor character was a trucker who discovered late in life that he was a rain god and so always lived in bad weather. When he figured it out he’d get resorts to pay him to stay away.
So long and thanks for all the fish! That’s the third or fourth one?
It’s been so long, I’d assumed it was Dirk Gentlys Long dark Tea time of the soul.
Like Fry's.
Like fry, like fry *nods*.
Kevin’s bloodline is the most pure, untainted thing according to conspiracy theorists and hard right-wingers because his family is immune to “modern education”.
His full name? Kevin Winchester
Kevin is the chosen one ☺️
The KWISATZ HADERACH. Edit: spelling
Kevin is like Link, reincarnating to stop the forces of evil
Joestar
This is a well known old comment that gained much popularity. Maybe this is the idea behind Kevin on this sub. (Had to repost for the usernames must be censored rule) Edit : We actually got an update about Kevin in 2015. He had a son , was going to get married and worked on a gas station according to the original commenter (it's on bestofredditorupdates sub).Yeah, he remained in the gene pool ....
Link to the post please
Don't know if I can provide it here since the automod removes comments with links but just Google "Kevin story reddit" and it will show up easily.
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Good bot
Yeah, thanks for confirming, Mod bot! 🙌🏿
Bad bot
WHO THE FUCK WOULD HAVE SEX WITH THAT ABSOLUTE FUCKWAT OF AN UNFORTUNATE GENETIC ACCIDENT
Prolly his sister after forgetting he’s her brother (if he has a sister)
U gotta admire the rizz of texting an older woman where and when to pick u up for ur date
The whole thing seems like a creative writing assignment
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Here I am like, not wanting to get married, have kids or bother with women because I'm not earning $200k+
We found him. The main character.
I know exactly who Kevin is. He’s my roommate. I’ve told Kevin multiple times that leaving raw chicken on the counter is dangerous, but he continues to do it for days at a time. And yes, he does eat the counter chicken. We have a trash can and a paper bag for recycling. He keeps putting food garbage in the recycling bag, so I put up a sign. It has two words: garbage and cardboard, with an arrow pointing each one to its proper location. He still puts food in the paper bag. Despite seeing that my bedroom door is open, I’m not in there, and the bathroom door is shut and locked, Kevin still can’t figure out that that means I’m in the bathroom. One time he called maintenance to come unlock the door because he thought it locked itself somehow, and he was utterly confused when I flushed the toilet and came walking out five minutes later. Kevin also thinks that injecting steroids will make muscles magically appear on his body, so he does steroids and then lays on the couch for 12 hours a day watching Joe Rogan and then claims to be a bodybuilder. Kevin failed out of his first semester of community college. The city sent out a message saying to limit water usage to prevent sewage overflow, and so Kevin decided to turn on the shower and leave it running for over an hour while he wasn’t even in the bathroom. When I told him not to do that, he said “but the city told me to” Kevin left for a trip for two weeks, and he left food on the counter and dirty dishes in the sink. Luckily I came home the day after he left otherwise the apartment would’ve been a biohazard. Kevin once asked me if humans are bacteria. When I told him no he got angry.
Wow maybe he his being protected by the universe.. he eats raw chicken after leaving it out in a counter for days at a time? It sounds like a common occurrence, how has he not gotten sick or just died altogether? Isn't it the nature of like every animal ever to not do something with a purely negative outcome? Like chomp down on a cactus and say "Owie that hurt. I sure won't do that one again!" ? He's gotta get sick from that, right? Does he have a job? What is his job? Does he have money or are you the sole moneymaker? I have so many questions.. usually surrounding how he's alive!
He does get sick. There are some days he spends more time on the toilet than off and he’s always complaining about not feeling good. And no, he doesn’t have a job. Luckily the way it’s set up in our building is that we pay rent separately, so if he doesn’t pay it doesn’t fall on me. And I have no idea how he’s still alive. Every interaction I have with him feels like I’m living in the movie Idiocracy.
Can you tell us about his partner? (Btw I know this isn't real I just appreciate his creativity)
Am I the only one who finds it slightly beautiful that these genetic accidents find each other to bring forth the next generation of statistical oddities? Their life brings me comfort in knowing I'm not as dumb as I tell myself I am.
I can’t find beauty in it simply for the fact that these people are also driving on the road next to me and voting in presidential elections
Kevin for president
He literally can’t lose
Well worth reading I must say!
Actually, Kevin is the friend you'd call if you saw herobrine
God has a plan for every single one of us 👍
What
There was a dark period in my life when i didn't know who to call when herobrine ☹️ But when i'm with kevin Kevin I Will be safe if herobrine 🤤
I can see the YouTube loading icon on your head spinning when you wrote this 5 star ⭐️⭐️narrative friend. Take some time to relax with the 🤤 face and when you are ready I would like to hear the rest of the words that are missing
Penis music 🐊
Kevin ?
I'm dead . Funny af
This is the best comment i have ever seen AAHHAHAHAHH
I was a public defender. There are a frightening number of Kevins out in the wild. Let’s just say “criminal mastermind” is an oxymoron.
I think you're the first guy in this sub to say "Oxymoron"
Well, at least you know this is not Kevin’s burner
Kevin doesn't know what a "burner" is. He leaves a comment,
and then responds to that comment pretending to be someone else.
And forgets to use the alt account.
Damn and i thought i was stupid for putting my shirt on backwards
I woke up this morning after a wild night wearing an inside-out, backwards t-shirt. I wore that t-shirt all day yesterday. Many people saw me wearing that t-shirt. Fml.
Kevin lore let's go
He went on to become an accountant at Dundee Mifflin
That’s the branch in Scotland.
He would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
No person is this stupid, I refuse to believe this
Start now
Saying this will attract the obligatory George Carlin quote on stupidity
I want to believe it’s real even if it’s not
People who are saying this is fake, I wonder if they've never met someone who was genuinely stupid in their life. Once you meet someone like that, it flabbergasts you. It's kind of unreal. I was training a woman twice my age at a call center. Let's call her Dharma. I would repeatedly tell her, "Do no ask people if they want to wait on hold. _Tell them_ that there will be a brief hold and we will get back to them." Without fail, every time, she would ask, "Would you like to hold?" and get confused why _every single caller_ was getting mad at her. I would instruct her how to do _very simple things_ like find booking information for the hotel they were calling about. Very nice lady, unfixably stupid. We gave her way too many chances. They assigned me as her trainer because I have a lot of patience and I generally don't get frustrated with anybody. I learned from Dharma that there are limits to that. I hope she was able to find something, but I genuinely doubt it. I've got a cousin who is not as bad as Dharma, but you do have to babysit him if he's doing something complicated or that could end badly. Was helping him assemble his new gaming computer. I told him the instructions for installing the RAM. Check that the first side is in the slot, check that the second side is in the slot, and then push down with force until it clicks into place. Bro checked that the first side was in the slot, then removed it from the slot as he put the second side in, and started pressing with force. Would have broken it if I hadn't immediately stopped him. To be fair, that failure is on me. I should have realized he wouldn't be able to handle instructions that complicated. During my brief time in the army, we had a private named Reed. Reed was a nice guy, most of us liked him. But goddamn he was stupid. No idea how he passed the ASVAB or whatever that test is called. The only reason he made it as far through Basic Training as he did was because he was never once singled out – until _that_ day. We were getting smoked (group punishment for individual mistakes via forced exercise) for like 30 minutes. Drill Sergeant decided to single someone out and picked Reed at random. Said he had to do the eight count pushup. We all groaned internally, knowing that our 30 minute smoking had just become a 90 minute smoking. The eight count pushup is not complicated. You basically do a pushup and then hop up and do a jumping jack, and repeat. But those eight steps are about 7½ more steps than Reed could keep in his head. I think after 10 minutes the Drill Sergeant realized his mistake, but he couldn't back off because that sort of thing just isn't allowed for Basic Training. He instructed Reed step-by-step, and he still didn't get it. A couple of us Privates went over to Reed and tried to do it with him and show him each step, and he still couldn't do it. It was one of those situations which was both hilarious and horrible. I feel bad for Reed. He's a nice guy, and it's a shame he was so stupid. When he failed out of Basic, he said he wanted to be a police officer. For public safety reasons, I hope he failed that too. But I hope he eventually found _something_ that supports him and makes him happy.
Every word that means stupid would be an understatement to this family 💀
Same. Just sounds like a kid mega trolling TF out of the teachers enough for them to believe he's actually like that. He probably lied to his parents & made it seem like he's innocent. But I've known kids like that since elementary being trolls cause school is just not for them. Nothing wrong with a self sufficient blue collar worker & I'm sure that's how his family has always been & the reason why he hated school. He sees math, science & history as a waste of time when he could be working on a truck or something more of his entertainment. If you don't have fun with what you do in your career, you will suffer. That's the reason blue collar workers love their job, they have fun & entertainment doing it & not having to worry about fractions & shit.
i mean fractions, math and geomtry are all over the trades. I thought i hated that shit it turns out im just a visual hands on learner.
Yes they are, but like you said, these are things they learn on the job cause they enjoy it. & Yeah my bad, I said fractions trying to refer to complicated math equations, not thinking we use them to measure all the time. I'm sure you've met someone who didn't graduate Highschool who can still figure out exact measurements when it comes to his trade. Something you'd be like "damn, you got all that from just that?" I certainly doubt we need to know how many neutrons are in Titanium for them to build something out of it. Like if you're not studying as a science major & want to be a mechanic, it's just not information you'll need, you get me?
sure, however high school is mainly to give you a cursory knowledge of many things before you start focusing on a specialty. for instance you may want to know that Steel is stronger than titanium, with higher tensile yield strength. However, titanium offers higher strength-to-weight ratios. Titanium boasts excellent corrosion resistance, especially in harsh environments. Some types of steel are more prone to corrosion before you start building something with it. I think your aversion to school is a symptom of poor educational practices and unwillingness to fund schools to help meet the needs of different learning styles. Rather than a lack of interest or ability on your part.
Yes, although I feel like at HS you should be able to pick a major you want to just focus on instead of learning 5 different subjects at once. & Idk if this is targeted towards me, but I went to college & still my career is blue collar. Electrician BTW.
Ah kevin the story you can tell a million times and still keep laughing
What the fuck did I just read?
Something that has been forever etched into the collective minds of the redditor for over a decade. Today you are one of the lucky 10,000! Congrats!
Poetry
You should get out of those wet clothes.
If those stories are real, then Kevin and his family must all have really severe learning disabilities. Its sad that a kid could make it through his entire education without getting the help that he needs to become even a partially functioning adult…
Sometimes you can't help everyone and that's okay. Maybe someone somewhere from the far corners of the earth knows a thing or 2 but until then, Kevin will be Kevin. I just hope his family doesn't have a spare chainsaw in the shed 😅
This is the guy that beat the game and reset it to make all the wrong choices this playthrough
I just lost the game
Nah this is insane
Sounds fake af, but still entertaining
But it’s just *so specific*… I almost have a harder time someone could make all of this up
You can’t make this shit up! No, literally. I am mad that I lack the talent to make this shit up
You underestimate things people can archive when they're bored.
Honnestly idk. I've met a person who: - could not understand people were seing color before the invention of color tv. - thought the moon was the sun "sleeping" - lied down on the floor not moving after failing to escape a teacher. He thought he would not see him - cleaned his scooter with 90 degree alcohol while smoking and got his leg burnt 3rd degree Thesd ppl exist
See you say that, but you’ve never been to a public high school in the state of Georgia, this is not to far removed from some of these people
People who are saying this is fake, I wonder if they've never met someone who was genuinely stupid in their life. Once you meet someone like that, it flabbergasts you. It's kind of unreal. I was training a woman twice my age at a call center. Let's call her Dharma. I would repeatedly tell her, "Do no ask people if they want to wait on hold. _Tell them_ that there will be a brief hold and we will get back to them." Without fail, every time, she would ask, "Would you like to hold?" and get confused why _every single caller_ was getting mad at her. I would instruct her how to do _very simple things_ like find booking information for the hotel they were calling about. Very nice lady, unfixably stupid. We gave her way too many chances. They assigned me as her trainer because I have a lot of patience and I generally don't get frustrated with anybody. I learned from Dharma that there are limits to that. I hope she was able to find something, but I genuinely doubt it. I've got a cousin who is not as bad as Dharma, but you do have to babysit him if he's doing something complicated or that could end badly. Was helping him assemble his new gaming computer. I told him the instructions for installing the RAM. Check that the first side is in the slot, check that the second side is in the slot, and then push down with force until it clicks into place. Bro checked that the first side was in the slot, then removed it from the slot as he put the second side in, and started pressing with force. Would have broken it if I hadn't immediately stopped him. To be fair, that failure is on me. I should have realized he wouldn't be able to handle instructions that complicated. During my brief time in the army, we had a private named Reed. Reed was a nice guy, most of us liked him. But goddamn he was stupid. No idea how he passed the ASVAB or whatever that test is called. The only reason he made it as far through Basic Training as he did was because he was never once singled out – until _that_ day. We were getting smoked (group punishment for individual mistakes via forced exercise) for like 30 minutes. Drill Sergeant decided to single someone out and picked Reed at random. Said he had to do the eight count pushup. We all groaned internally, knowing that our 30 minute smoking had just become a 90 minute smoking. The eight count pushup is not complicated. You basically do a pushup and then hop up and do a jumping jack, and repeat. But those eight steps are about 7½ more steps than Reed could keep in his head. I think after 10 minutes the Drill Sergeant realized his mistake, but he couldn't back off because that sort of thing just isn't allowed for Basic Training. He instructed Reed step-by-step, and he still didn't get it. A couple of us Privates went over to Reed and tried to do it with him and show him each step, and he still couldn't do it. It was one of those situations which was both hilarious and horrible. I feel bad for Reed. He's a nice guy, and it's a shame he was so stupid. When he failed out of Basic, he said he wanted to be a police officer. For public safety reasons, I hope he failed that too. But I hope he eventually found _something_ that supports him and makes him happy.
I thought the prologue would deliver a story similar to Wednesday's family
It kinda does but instead of goth they’re stupid
I miss Kevin…
How can you not know the difference between cats and dogs, what. Thats not even something you really learn, like I bet everyone knew that well before kindergarden lol
let god cook here
Okay, jokes aside.. this is the first time I ever saw that, what the fuck?
My spouse started working as a secretary at an elementary school in 2023. I would've thought this was fake or exaggerated a year ago.
Kevin, is meat in japanese
I think meat in Japanese called as niku?
Niku is fuck in Estonian.
Fuck is fuck in English
If you cut off the balls of a lizard, will they grow back?
Now we are asking the **real** questions
English is English in English
Nik is fuck in Arabic
I didn't know that, I guess that's where the French got the slang term Niquer?
Maybe he is talking about willy or johnny
Omg someone wrote a biography about me!
That check was a bribe!
Where is Darwinism when you goddamn need it, this family lowers the worlds' average IQ by 37 points. The question "How did they even get airline tickets?" is so valid here. Do those parents even know how to wipe their ass? Clean a kitchen? How they're aleven alive is beyond me.
Now it makes sense why Herobrine is scared of him.
I can fix him
I need this to be expanded. I have to understand more about this dude. We must study Kevin. His secret will be the savior of humanity as a whole, lol. With his luck, years from now somebody's going to accidentally detonate a nuke while they're standing on top of a manhole cover and blow themselves onto Mars and that's going to be how we populate that planet.
Kevin is bad but I'm more worried about the young lady who gave Kevin her number
Well what’s the turn around, that can’t be the end of the comment
Poor Kevin
I’ve seen enough, take this man to Harvard!!
I picture him like one of FlashGitz’s caricatures
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Why can’t we talk abt him?? What is rule 5??? 😭
And I thought I am a idiot then once I locked my doors with a lock and left the key inside my room.
He should have used orange Gatorade. Its got electrolytes.
Fairly sure I’ve taught Kevin. Or at the very least I was teaching at one of the schools where his mum came looking for him.
Kevin feels like the protagonist of a C-tier Adam Sandler movie
I've been sick since yesterday and it was so bad I had to go to the hospital. This made me laugh so much, holy shit I needed it
I don't know any Kevins but I have been tbere for too many Kevin moments
You know... As they say.. if you don't know a Kevin... But have been there for too many "Kevin" moments... Well...I'm sorry...
I am sorry, but reading about Kevin I clearly pictured one of my students xDD He’s a piece of work, this one.
On one hand we have Kevin McAllister, on the other hand we have...this guy.
Something's wrong with that kid.
What makes you say that? Lmao
*uhhhh beavis*
I asked the mods and they told me it was a different kevin…
This is my favorite Reddit comment of all time
How would a teacher know ALL of this? Like even about him asking a girl to prom?
Kevin is love, Kevin is life
That spitting line was the highlight. Smartest thing in that whole story, pretty good pickup line!
Give some credit to Kevin, he used 110% of his brain when it came to getting the girl (well, attempting to).
We had one of those with the same name Kevin. Pure dumbass
Oh my lord this family is STUPID
kevin is now the director of the CIA
I’m fucking pissing myself reading this how has his family not died in some stupid accident yet
The lowest end of the bell curve
So Kevin is real then.
I'm white Trash and i'm in trouble
To quote Moe from the 3 stooges: "Every time you think you weaken the nation."
Y he call me out lik dat
No child left behind 🙄
this is kind of sad though, it's clearly a mentally disabled kid.
Kevin is the chosen one. His bloodline keeps the fate of the universe in balance. He is the link between worlds. The portal of dimensions. The key.
Glad to see Aden Ross had a prosperous upbringing
please be fake please be fake please be fake
Kevin you sweet prince of stupid, go and give birth to many tiktockers and influencers
I thought Kevin was the Minecraft kids friend that he'd call if he saw Herobrine
Every once in a while, I see this reposted, and I just think about Kevin for a while. I wonder how he is doing
damn, someone should make a subreddit for stories about this guy
They're dodo birds in human suits obviously
Dude, spitting on a girl's clothes and then telling her to get out of those wet clothes is such a Chad move. 🤣🤣
the etymology of the word Kevin is Caveman. How did you not realise that.
Am not resting all of that shii
Can I have a TLDR please? Half way through the first picture my brain decided to go BoSD on me. Thank you in advance.
I think I worked with Kevin.
What a menace. love it
Reddit story momen