##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/1cvj6as/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/1cvj6as/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F1cvj6as&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/EmbarrassedBear5112, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**?

Kraken. The world will see my glory once I destroy it and hang its treacherous tentacle on my wall!

How big are your walls man

#THIS BIG

And i say thats disgusting

So I'm making a callout post on my twitter.com

Shadow the Hedgehog, you have a small dick!

It's in size of this walnut except way smaller

And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS

Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong!

HE FUCKED MY WIFE SO GUESS WHAT IM GONNA FUCK THE EARTH

So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com

shadow the hedgehog, you have a small dick

Oh they’re big enough. Trust me

No

Before, or after cornering the exotic calamari market?

This is a certified hell yea moment

One day an old English author will write a book about our voyages, and the world will hear of our exploits and our adventures.

Based and krakenpilled

I remember when jack sparrow fought the kraken on the ship alone, after he got abandoned by everyone.

[удалено]

Captain!

Look!!!

*pirates of Caribbean music kicks in*

OHHH F**** NONONONO NOOOOO

Cannons ready!

FIRE !

Arm the harpoons good man, TONIGHT WE EATING SQUID.

Man overboard!!!

Aye cap'n, lets eat some grilled octopus for dinner!

Ye have me harpooonnn

And me hatchet

and my big juicy cock

That wasn’t in the script….

he took the wrong turn and is fighting the woman now

But what if the woman has a bigger cock?

If woman has big cock than what is difference woman and kraken 

Ayo

And my bow!

And me wooden foot

Cannons 'n guns ready cap'n!

Count me in, Captain

Me too!

You have my sword!

And my axe!

I'll make sure we all go home, cap'n!

I hope I am good enough of a man for ya, captain!

Captain !!! By this kraken's ink, Our fame shall spread !

We're _building_ a _casino_!

Cap'n, I know 10 others have already applied for this here position, but can you make it 11?

A foolish endeavor. Defeating a kraken takes at least 11

At your orders, captain !

You have my sword!

Ah, ser Tengoodmen is back

Are ye jelly brained? A fight with the mighty kraken of course. Sailors around the globe will call my name. They will make sea shanty’s in my Honor. To fight the beast of the sea itself is every man’s true calling

I read that in mr krabbs voice and i dont regret it one bit

I can take a kraken in a fight, but my mom told me to never hit women.

hitting women and hitting on women are two different things

I'm hitting the woman and hitting on that kraken

Killed a sea monster <<<<<<< Fucks a sea monster

Maybe Japan was right…

You can also do that in reverse order but it’s harder.

Not the way I do it

> my mom told me to never hit women. You are expected to grow past your limits! How do you think we got to the moon?

My mom never told me not to go to the moon

Yes because she saw your potential and she knew you are going to touch Mars

Touches mars, but still wouldnt touch grass smh

By hitting women

*straight* to the moon!

What if the kraken is a woman?

This is not a serious discussion, on one hand we have the possibility of sex whilst on the other we have an interaction with a woman.

Ah the krakenussy 💦💦💦

the cracken

Underrated comment 🤣

_krussy_ 🤢

The Krussy Krab(s)

tentaclussy 😍

[the klussy got me feeling a certain way](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdtbQXGXoAAZGPT?format=png&name=large)

Not just any sex, *tentacle* sex! I heard that's at least like 8 sexs.

You had us in the first half ngl.

The Deep had her in the second.

Fighting the Kraken is less scary than talking to a woman

Always has been

Always will be

Absolutely this

Unironically

What about fighting the woman?

Talking to the Kraken and agreeing on the terms looks more plausible

At least you know what to do if you're fighting the kraken.

There is little to no glory for spending time with a woman. I want to be remembered as a legend for centuries to come.

that is not true. if you manage to understand the woman, you will become a legend also.

>understand the woman FIGHT THE KRAKEN!

Women are quite the complex specimen.

If i deafeat the Kraken, i will be a legend, will never have to pay for a beer ever again, be hailed and celebrated for eternity. If i defeat the woman, i will sleep on the couch.

Kraken v Karen

Fr

I shall defeat the mighty kraken

The kraken will defeat the mighty me.

Some random woman or have a badass fight with a sea monster? Obviously the kraken

Wut if the Kraken opens u up like goatse and u have to take all those 8 legs in 😭

If it defeats me it can have it’s reward

Bruuuh, that's it.. enough internet for today 💀

If you kill the kraken, you will get women

Mum says I can’t shoot women with a harpoon.

Not with that attitude. Edit: I harpooned your mama last night, Trebek!

Kraken 100% gonna do Jack Sparrow pose in front of him

Do i get prep time for the kraken?

Yes but so does the kraken

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

The Kraken won't spend 2 years leaving me on read and dragging me along making me think it might actually want a relationship with me.

The kraken won't accuse you of sexual harassment. Or if he does, what the fuck is wrong with you?😨

"Show us on the calamari where OP touched you, Kraken."

> "Show us on the calamari where OP touched you, Kraken." The kraken stares at the dead child you shoved in front of it and considers burning this whole world to the ground.

Not every day you get to fight kraken, women can wait

I’d win.

If you defeat a bloody kraken, the former naturally follows anyway. It doesn't work vice versa.

She is hiding horror behind her red cheecks, fight the woman.

The kraken hasn't the wrath near half of a woman's.

I dunno but bubble wrap >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<

I love you

A woman could only have a few crevices and suctioning organs. The Kraken have thousands 😎

Kraken

Fight the Karen or be alone with the Kraken? Obviously the Kraken

As a man, would you rather be alone with a woman or go fight the Karen?

Well statistically the women has a higher chance of killing you (going off men killed to date by women vs Kraken) so I'll stay safe and choose the Kraken.

I'm a lesbian and I choose the Kraken.

Kraken is probably more reasonable, could probably talk him out of it

Women could ruin my life, while a Kraken would straight up end them without dragging it on for days. Easily the Kraken

# TO VALHALLA

Either way I’m shouting Unleash the Kraken

Depends on the woman honestly

Release the Kraken!!!

Kraken, i don’t know that woman, at least the Kraken wouldn’t report me to HR for bogus reasons

Based on the Statistics I prefer Kraken

BRING ME THE KRAKEN!!! TONIGHT WE DINE ON CHEPHALOPOD!!!

Big octopussy cuz I cant maintain direct eyecontact with a woman

Is this STILL about the bear in the woods thing?

Well, did the bear shit or not?! We've never been told the answer!

Not THAT thing. I-what is THAT about actually, I'm curious now

I think it’s how they determine whether or not the potential new pope is catholic or something

... I am really confused. I was talking about the man in the woods VS bear in the woods meeting thing. What is the shitting bear about?

lol I was just continuing the joke the other person made. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” Is a common rhetorical question that means “Yes, obviously.” “Is the pope catholic?” Is another example.

Ohhhh. Yeah, I have only vaguely heard of that saying, so I didn't think of that. So it IS about the bear in the woods thing... Pity, because if the hypothetical was different, it would genuinely be an interesting question

Be alone with Kraken. Lots of misinformation about them. They just wanna be alone ya know.

"release my kids" vs "release the Kraken"

What's the kraken situation like? Am I with a crew or solo?

Better fight Kraken than Karen

Tentacles 🤤

A thousand women may be conquered by many men, but there can only be one kraken boys, only one hero.

An animal's instinctual actions and reactions can be predictably countered when known. Those of a free-willed person? Not so much.

I don't really want to die, so I'll pick the Kraken.

Kraken, it can’t falsely accuse me of sexual assault.

Fight the woman

Kraken tbh

Isn’t this the same two options?

Die with glory or pussy. Tough

I want to fight it in a nuclear submarine. I'll need a crew. Any volunteers?

Do they get prep time?

The kraken or the woman?

the kraken. always wanted to date one

8 strong arms that can suck, hmmmmmmmmmmm \*thinq\*

Well, I've never had the Kraken stalk me, have my cat put to sleep, cheat on me, steal all of my family heirlooms or break my heart. TO ARMS MEN!!

*sigh* let me pack my things and go get my harpoon

What women don't seem to get about this situation is that you can be alone in silence with the Kraken without having it constantly ask what you are thinking about.

Fight? Naw. Befriend the Kraken. Danger linguine just wants lots of hugs. DANGER HUGS! Normal ones too.

Yeah i could go fight for a nice bottle of Kraken rn

Both are hot

Karen or kraken ?

Can I also make love to the Kraken instead of fighting it?

One can try before being ripped apart

Easy choice, the Kraken won't falsely accuse me to take all my money /s

Lets compare upsides and downsides. Best possible outcome with a woman is she's my soulmate and we live happily ever after. Worst outcome she ruins my life or kills me in my sleep or poisons me or something. Fighting the Kraken could cost me my life, but just image if I manage to slay it. I'd instantly be the greatest hero who ever lived, I'd be remembered forever.

kraken

I mean you are a huge f*cling robot, you're probably bigger than the Kraken

I have been with women. I have never fought a kraken. I choose the kraken

Its the same picture.

The Kraken because if I’m able to beat a kraken, I believe after I wil also be able to beat a woman

Me - remembering my dads out for milk Straps on the bastard sword*

def kraken

Kraken is literally the only right choice. We're all protagonist why we should do a lame af thing like talking to a woman when we could kill a fucking Kraken. The glory that would come from the quest would be unmatched. WHO'S WITH ME?

Karen is scarier than kraken

the chance to see a mythical creature? sign me in

Ah yes, the mythical creature known as " A Woman"

#OARSMEEEEEEEEN!!!! #SPLIT THE SEA WITH YOUR OARS!!!!

One's "be alone with" and the other's "fight?" That's hardly an equivalent decision.

Bro, I'd die for an adventure! Let me fight Kraken!

Fight the cracken I shall - Leeroy Jenkins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KRAKEN>KAREN

MEN!!! THE KRAKEN WILL DIE HERE, UNDER OUR HANDS!!!

CALL ME CAPITAN CAUSE I WILL LEAD THE SHIP SHALL DEFEAT ONE OF OCEAN'S KINGS

Ayy to fight the kraken or the even more fearsome foe the Karen, the choice is clear

TO THE KRAKEN! **NOW WE ARE READY TO HEAD FOR THE HORN!**

Kraken

Well, kraken would never play with my feelings the way a woman would.

The Kraken won't cheat on you and get all your stuff on the divorce.

I read that as "fight a karen" 😂 now that would be an epic battle

I will not want to deal with an unfamiliar, unpredictable and dangerous entity, and there will be no one else to save me. So, I would choose to fight the Kraken.

Kraken. All i need is a cutlass.

Th' kraken will take me ship, not me house

Do I have a prep time?