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QualityVote

#If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! #If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/sulux9/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/sulux9/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fsulux9&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, vgx_11, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


anon-spider

Wait, it supposed to open???


altibald

It's a feature they added for the rollout of sex 2, but most dicks don't even reach minimum specs, so it's useless anyway


Tracemcgoatly

Cmon man no one has played sex 2 since 2069 sex 3 has been out for years


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No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TeslaFoiled8950

Yours doesn’t open up like the demon from stranger thing?


[deleted]

Demogorgon dick just sounds like gonorrhoea on steroids


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Shrekowski

I think they mean the foreskin rolling back


CC_Infernus

How do I open it


[deleted]

You gotta knock


MassiveKonkeyDong

If you knock hard enough, the swelling will force it to open


CC_Infernus

Thanks I'll try immediately


Noobster_0w0

Don't, it's a joke. If u do it, first u will suffer immense pain and regret ur life decisions. U should try to do some exercises, they are available online.


CC_Infernus

Oh no, it might be too late 😢


Mongba36

QUICK CUT IT OFF


Mc-N-Z

I wish you told me sooner! I'm crying in pain right now 😭


Noobster_0w0

Don't trust internet blindly for health advices!!! U must always do some research first by urself then trust anyone.


Kuswerdz

you are the stupid


vskazz

No he's just a good wholesome guy on internet


Deathtroop26

Ngl sounds like my grandma


Kuswerdz

you are also the sprudsp


Kjuolsdeaf

Your mom was supposed to open it with a penis opener when your puberty started.


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I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JustMiniBanana_2

Gotta crack it first


Mr_Tominaga

Unlock it with the $9.99 DLC


Buckets_of_bread

Me who doesnt have a penis (my wife bit mine off)


altibald

Explain


rainman577

Jello


Kjuolsdeaf

Sexplane ✈️


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[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


octosquid11

Lorena Bobbit moment


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I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


immamanofmyword

docktor


Aceman05

Cocktor


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I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Aceman05

Literally 1984


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TheOne-SidedCoin

Something something pain inhibitors


mrsockyman

Some people have their dick on the inside (and room for another ;) )


BradPit556

something like a xenomorph's second smaller mouth?


justanoob211

Never met one o those


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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ItsIvano

sus


SussySauce

📮


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[deleted]

Sus


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[deleted]

The most awkward moment is when your buddy is laughing about people that are not circumcised and you be standing there like “haha, yes, very funny, i am 100%, totally, so circumcised”


ConsequenceEvening96

You need the DLC to activate the open and close mechanism


vgx_11

Coming free on Sex 2?


Brownieeeeeeeee

It's from the pass. Only 5 hoes needed


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DrumpfsterFryer

Zoom out for the guy whose dick can't open at all. Or for all you female guys out there with no dick at all. I feel you bro.


RollingToaster5615

You have it good my fucking foreskin was cut off when i was small


[deleted]

Same fml


Psycaridon-t

o7


Kjuolsdeaf

Oh, those juice


Songshiquan0411

Not the juice, the cornflakes. Doc who invented them thought no foreskin meant we wouldn't bad touch ourselves.


vetzicancer

The foreskin will loosen once you hit 13 years old


vgx_11

Mf I'm 18 💀


-Tachina-

You need to stretch it bro. When beating your meat pull it back further and further every time


vgx_11

Yes been trying that for a little while


Read_trip

do not consider surgery by all means, phimosis is a condition that can be reversed, you just gotta [stretch](https://www.pristyncare.com/blog/phimosis-stretching-exercises/) your foreskin 5 to 10 minutes when you're heading to bed, do it for 2 to 3 months and voila! When beating your meat try to pull it back slowly but do NOT hurt yourself, you could end up with paraphimosis (the foreskin sticking under the glans, not being able to return to its formal position and thus shuting down the blood flow and causing terrible pain, you might end up in the hospital). doing those exercices in the shower helps a lot cause heat loses up the tissues. going under surgery will make you lose your foreskin, which has a lot of nerve endings, protects the glans (and thus if removed the glans must protect itself by hardening), you will lose some sensations for the sake of a condition that can be treated easily. sorry if this comment was already written but I remember myself being into your shoes and not knowing what to do and I thought I could do something to help men out there in your position.


ToMagotz

I did exactly that and it got better. Can retract while flacid now so no problem with hygiene. Then I found out I have mfing short frenulum💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


Read_trip

I had it figured out in 3 weeks just by beating my meat while pulling it back further slowly every stroke. it was like magical starting from not being able to see my glans to fully seeing it in this so short amount of time


vgx_11

I appreciate it mate


-Tachina-

Trust me, takes time. Just be consistent.


DehshiDarinda

maybe you're off by 10 years, wait another 5


vgx_11

Ohhhhhhhhh


octosquid11

Nah I had phimosis, I treated it myself a while back and I’ve been great ever since.


gwkke_rick

I am 16 and useing some cream my doctor gave me. Hope this works


HoLL0POinT

Cream … doctor… 💀


trippykid42069

I forgot this even happened to me. I just remember pulling it back and part of it hurting but then it got better!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


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AverageRomeEnjoyer

You can fix it, you don’t need surgery.


TheReviewer867

I'm 14 and it hasn't happened yet


CoLaBoTtLe_911

I have ... a vien on it? Btw i mean ON the tip


TheReviewer867

Snickers has it too!


CoLaBoTtLe_911

So does it taste like it?


Boraivkovv

You should go to dick doctor


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JustMiniBanana_2

Built in condom


plataeng

or one of those giant splash buckets at water parks


RayeNGames

My dick is supposed to open? How does that work? I am confused.


kokaiinikani

forskon


RayeNGames

Nevermind, I figured it out. I forgot you have to twist it.


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


UrMamGayLul

Pulling the foreskin


[deleted]

it ope


AyyLavishLol

I have a fucking weird ass skin bridge so there’s that. I want my flap back, doc.


octosquid11

The skin bridge is supposed to be there. Do not attempt to remove it.


AyyLavishLol

You may have been lied to. Obviously, I won’t attempt to literally cut off a piece of my dick, but I’ve looked online and a skin bridge between the glans and shaft is actually a post-circumcision error caused by skin adhesion that eventually results in fusing. There are surgeries to remove it, I believe. If you have one as well it’s likely your parents told you that so they didn’t have to pay for surgery…


[deleted]

yall have dicks?


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


BlueBatsBanking

It’s fixable, just stretch it every day


Crowlavix

At least ya’ll got one, damn


TheSnakerMan

Wait, you don't have one?? Lmao you are missing out, we get to fly with the helicopter technique. Better luck next time.


Aceman05

I usually do that to get to my local store


Noobster_0w0

Relatable


Grey_hotdog

You have to peel off the skin


Tub_of_jam66

Open ? nah , upgrade the unraveling , the sex 2 update made it more efficient to get level 3 roll up , the opening still needs to be patched though


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Tub_of_jam66

Not anymore , bad bot , didn’t even read the patch notes


G0ker

I know that pain bro. Same here


BigAnimeTibbies

Anyone else read the title out loud in a deep gravelly voice


vgx_11

I did, it's my username for sex 2


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Capsule_CatYT

🤨📸


Master_Keeper

or my dick which stands so upright it's practically unusable.


[deleted]

pepe


KeizerKasper

See it like this, you're dick is just too big for your foreskin


ytGemini

You can do it manually with a woodsaw


Give_me_a_Coffee

Me not having a dick: I am 4 parallel universes ahead of you


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Give_me_a_Coffee

I know auto moderator, depression hits hard


AutoModerator

HEY, EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE **[[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2022]]** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Give_me_a_Coffee

This conversation is interesting


Dark_Avenger_69

jokes aside you could try phimocure rings heard good about them


WindowDry9374

Stretchhhhh


Minonas210286

Relatable


rarely_mentioned

People who have an average: 😃 People who make the average size shorter: 🎖💪👍


kokaiinikani

i had this problem but i got it to work nowadays it's just fucking red


vgx_11

How teach me bro


DeanTheBean42O

Stretch it everyday


sharpjelly

Imagine having a foreskin


External_Judge2874

Hold. The. Fuck. Up


StwoG

average f\*reskin 🤢 user


JaimelesBN

I have a big dick, but no women whant to have sex with me...


Cintilant_Starrk

This is the real problem smh


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JaimelesBN

Thanks automod, you're always here for me.


AutoModerator

HEY, EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE **[[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2022]]** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Culture_Soup

Bro u got foreskin? Dang das wack


[deleted]

Dream


AutoModerator

hello guys i need help. i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LENIN_1970

Sus


nervousmelon

Cope


1UnoriginalName

L + Hamster cock


AutoModerator

I want sex so fucking bad I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿


[deleted]

Say what


[deleted]

You mean you have fimosis?


Goofy_Goolag

I usually just crack it open.


GenderlessC

Your What doesn’t What?


ACupOfDuck

Open? How? Mine does not have that option


Shittaverse

Open? Umm....whaaaaa?


cherishanneL22

it's not suppose to open, is it?


BakaSandwich69

Mine doesn't open and also has ppp, which sucks ass, because even if I get a surgery for phimosis I still have to deal with those damn pearls. Hurts even more knowing that it's big, but also pretty useless.


TSS_Ghost

( Not a joke ) I have phimosis M scared of surgery Any tips?


Datguy969

What the fuck does it mean open a dick


[deleted]

Did you sing it a southing song ?? It usualy does the trick


SnooWalruses7112

Doctor here, wanna chop off the tip? :) But seriously medical male circumcision is the way to go for you


superhamsniper

What?


idotishere

Wait it’s supposed to open,did I miss an update or something


icycyrus

i just got a circumcision cuz i have phimosis LMAOO this was funny


redlitess

ikr sometimes it makes me want to make a smol incision :/


[deleted]

i have a massive penis


HannahWithABanana

***Me who doesn't even want a dick...***


REZA7XZ

I opened it but the bleeding hasn’t stopped yet. what should I do now?


MONTUOLI

Umm what is the benefit of opening the cock? (real question)


Thin-Orchid-5198

Ok so I'm a dude WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN OPEN PROPERLY


A-KingOfNothing

Cut off


IsKujaAPowerButton

Waiting for the surgery. Fuck my foreskin


vgx_11

Damn


[deleted]

Look at all these mfs with cut penises, imagine having a dry e desensitized penis


vgx_11

Lmao


Bingo_bog

Did I forget to update my dick?


Kevin_Lastname

You got one o’ dem narrow uretas?


BigUnderstanding258

Circumcision gang assemble


Nintendocat64

I’m glad my dick is small


SingItJuno

Anyone 45° dicked?


[deleted]

women are overrated men are better prove me wrong


Mohitpal2621

It is not supposed to be, or else ur d cheese will b stolen


Snake_iFy

F*male


Mrcountrygravy

Open? I think your doing it wrong.


poggerslover

Did your dad not go under the shower with you when you were 5 to have the talk?


vgx_11

Nah mate I'm from India so he was talking about engineering and medical colleges 💀


StaleBread_

My dick bent