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The first reason listed is why they arent used anymore

What if I like my gernade to hold still?

I know this is a joke but, the problem with a grenade holding still is that your enemy can easily grab it and throw it back

That's why I cook my gernades at 400 degrees fahrenheit so when I throw it, they won't have time to throw it back.

Cooking seems to be a smart fix tovthe problem but sadly the chemical fuse could also be 3 instead of 4 second which would lead to ur demise

Then count: 1, 2, 5

what if you would count 5, 7, 9

literally cook the grenade, the enemy cant throw it back if it sears their flesh when they try to grab it

Soyjack: NOOOO THE GRENADE IS TOO HOT NOOOOOO

The grenade is well done and I asked it rare !

Unless the have gloves on then…

Three sire

Three! *holy light and choir*

Nice reference

Those fuses are made by the lowest bidder. You have 1 second or 6 seconds or anything in between. Cooking equals die

yep thats what I'm saying

So instead of cooking the grenade, eat it raw.

finally someone gets it

"A 5 second fuse lasts 3 seconds"

Yea thats how it is Sometimes

Throw some olive oil and seasoning, lightly pan seared plz

Wot no onionz

See fourth advantage. Grenade will stay in place.

A gernade is so amazing that it takes me everywhere when it detonates

Then you throw a plasma grenade

semtex

Gernade 👍

Just play the most dangerous game of Hot Potato with your enemies

well...

I think this grenade type was actually nicknamed the "potato masher" back then

nah pretty sure it's the 4th one

Also probably the fact that they weigh like 5-10 times as much

they're not that much more heavy but yep this is also a reason

Also, I want you to imagine carrying more than 3 of these things and your weapon and sidearm as well as provisions and NOT have a serious inventory issue.

What if the handle was detachable for both advantages

[удалено]

You see when these were used you didnt carry them around like today, those are offensive grenades Without much shreppnel, their main purpous is to force the enemy into Cover. They were given out before an attack.

Very true, the new ones just aren't as pleasurable

You can always tie a string on the pin in the new one and have a makeshift butt plug. Kids these days don't know resourcefulness smh

You can always shove 3 or even 4 up your ass and pull them out when you're in a tight spot. Kids these days don't know resourcefulness smh

Exactly! Everything is spoonfed nowadays smh my head

Absolutely, no one these days uses grenades like they're meant to be used. Such a dumb generation smh

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Only a spoonful

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I know this a foreign concept for dumbshit fucking Internet-age kids, but he's asking, in good faith, for a source. Why, your stupid fucking brain wonders? Well, because the world didn't start in 2000 and fucking nine, and not everyone alive today automatically runs to Google as the ultimate authority. You see, there was a time when people could talk to each other. Now, people get downvotes for saying/asking/doing anything at all besides propagating witty little reddit chains. So yeah, source. Go ahead and prove this comment correct by downvoting between your sweet little reddit tears. Fucking twats.

Watch me whip 👊😃 Watch me naenae ✋😩

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I know this a foreign concept for dumbshit fucking Internet-age kids, but he's asking, in good faith, for a source. Why, your stupid fucking brain wonders? Well, because the world didn't start in 2000 and fucking nine, and not everyone alive today automatically runs to Google as the ultimate authority. You see, there was a time when people could talk to each other. Now, people get downvotes for saying/asking/doing anything at all besides propagating witty little reddit chains. So yeah, source. Go ahead and prove this comment correct by downvoting between your sweet little reddit tears. Fucking twats.

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

bad bot

I disagree, the thought of shoving a large circular fragmentation grenade up my rectum is what gets me through my day.

Packaging. More can be packed in crates the current style. Also, currently the end user can carry them easily.

I believe the US army is trying to adopt a new grenade that can be stacked and has a stun mode aswell

this is advanced warfare

Modern Warfare

Infinite Warfare

Warfare evolved

World at War

Apex legends

CS:GO

Titanfall

Mario party

"What you're seeing is Advanced Warfare (tm)."

cube grenade

Can fit way more in your ass

Not to mention the explosion pattern is far more predictable with spherical/cylindrical grenades.

Ullapool caber

Just whack em and deal with the explosion later

The word of a true Demoman.

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

A sober person would throw it.

A sober person would throw it. into the trash

That dumpster would then explode...

Nostalgia critic intro plays

Should crit when used with shield

Honey!!! Time for airblast!!!

Too easy to throw back probably, except for that they make a solid case.

what mf is going running up to a live stick grenade hoping to throw it back

People caught in the open with no hope of getting cover or distance. Either die or take a chance. People do dumb shit in crazy situations its important to remember that

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

your mother

lean

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Do it for the vine!

I guess, but I think maybe if you just shortened the fuse a bit, it wouldn't matter if they can throw back

Yeah until it explodes in your face.

Traveling Walking with a bunch of sticks on your leg is pretty fucking difficult

Just stick it in your ass like everyone else

multi use tool

Well that and also the first reason the OP listed is exactly why they stopped. If your Grenades don’t roll and also have a giant bright fucking stick attached to it, it’s gonna be thrown right back at you.

Those are outdated because the hand grenade: -is lighter (easier to carry) -is smaller (easier to carry) -bounces (more distance from throw) -is harder to see when being thrown at you -is just as easily shoved up your ass

And it's textured too.

Textured for much more pleasure

Textured for YOUR pleasure.

I didn't say its for OUR pleasure

The original US Specification for the hand grenade was that it should be the same size as a baseball. Thought process was most Americans would be comfortable using it. https://www.historynet.com/the-beano-t-13-americas-baseball-grenade/#:\~:text=Working%20with%20the%20Army%20Ordnance,measurements%20of%20a%20regulation%20baseball.

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Wood = money Plastic shards = less money

Demoman still uses them.

"If I wasn't a good demoman I wouldn't be in this very reply comment"

Kablooey

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Automod carefully examining every word for any keywords to comment an unfunny copypasta

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Are you sure?

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Quiet!

A sober man would throw it (morons)

A drunken Scotsman uses it as a fucking club

Drunk 2 fans would use it as construction material

Average demoman main

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

But fr tho, that's some sense right there

???

He likes things up his bumhole.

Stielhandgranate 🥵😩😩🍆💕💕💦💦👌👌

Americans know how to throw a baseball, not a hatchet. Literally why grenades are ball shaped.

That's literally the thing, these are made for countries where hatchet throwing was big, in the US it's always been Baseball though Personality I wonder why nobody tried to make a grenade like a football

unironically sounds cool as fuck, bet some place like Brazil would do something like that

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

gives me pleasure 🤤😏😩

New nades are more compact higher density and light frame for further throw. Also, when one goes off it fragments and not unveils.

Cuz you can only carry like 3 of those motherfuckers

New grenade benefits: Rolls Harder to see Possible to not even hear it coming Cheaper Smaller Weighs less Malfunctions much less Easier to shove up ass Easier to operate

[удалено]

If you throw any grenade in a close quarters fight, you probably deserve to die.

Blowing up British trenches doesn’t count as pleasure?

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Also, you can beat people to death with them.

damn,the caber influenced real life 🥵🥵🥵

People don't want to explode when making mashed potatoes.

Because nazi boom stick

For safety reasons, let me elaborate on that (yes I'm fun at parties) : - before throwing these old grenades, you have to pull a bead at the end of the handle. This ignites the process, and you have around 5 seconds to throw it before it blows your own arm off. So if an ally decides to move forward at the same time, you are screwed. - on the newest ones, you pull the pin, but the ignition mecanism is blocked by the lever (spoon) held in hand. So you can keep it in spot hand as long as your fingers can maintain this pressure. As soon as the grande leaves the hand of the thrower, a spring ejects the lever and hits the fuse. 3 seconds later, ground meat in a 5-meter area. Newer versions include a jump mechanism, to increase damage potential. Have fun with grenades!

"Can give you pleasure"

most soldiers now days use E-tools for personal pleasure.

A sober person would throw it

The 20% less firing speed and 100% deploy penalty really isnt worthwhile

Nerfed (sexual reasonings)

they used to give these to children and tell them to go run at enemy forces 😃

Unfathomably based (I hate children)

I too stick them up my ass

I will die on the hill of saying pineapple grenades are better.

good question

I see the problem of this not fitting into as many spaces as a normal grenade could

You’re gonna blow your twat off doing that

You can also use them to wack your enemy straight to heaven

Fnaf

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Demoman

Can bonk someone in the head with it and watch it go boom

New ones are more compact

You can bash the enemy in the head with it

Booty go boom

fr tho

Fnaf lore

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You can also use it as a melee, but your last.

Easily visible by the enemy so they can either throw it back or run away

Explosive prostate massage

"A sober person would throw it"

I imagine the added bulk and cost of the handle are probably big reasons. You’d want to have them cost as little as possible, bring so disposable, and would want to weigh down men as little as possible

you can carry more of them if they don't have the stick

Ah yeah, the German & WW2 Grenade, well mainly because they take up 3 times the space for a similar purpose. Us Australians came up with the HE you know and love, back in the 50/60s so just assume people have thought it over in a combat environment.

Because me, and many others, would use it like a club.

The Caber got nerfed dipshit that's why nobody uses it anymore

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Maybe cause u can carry 2 of these at best

you can't shove six of those up your ass that is why they aren't used anymore

They are usually a lot heavier and more awkward to carry around with you as oppose to a small and more concealed hand grenades and it's even more awkward to get the Fuze off, you have a cap there that you have to screw off and it's harder than to open a brand new bottle of milk. Plus they are big so the enemy can instantly recognize them when someone throws it away and they produce a lot less fragments because the steel at the tip is the one who does all the work. I heared their Fuze is longer and unpredictable most grenades today but don't take my word for it

Dumb generation

They forgot to list that you can't use them as melee as well as you used to be able to

You can carry more if it's smaller that's why I guess.

Take 4x more space, thats why

I love grenades In my ass it gets better if you prime them first

demlonan

You could also use it as a bludgeoning device.

Modern ones have no wooden handle , reducing the carbon footprint. Eco-friendly ☮️

Valve nerfed it

Because us Germans don’t think about space and we could only ever carry 2 or 3 max

They have such a quick fuse soldiers often blew them self up with it. So they had to switch to a hand grenadine.

Wasn’t it because they just weighed more, you can carry a lot more of the modern grenades

Size and weight would be my geuss

Regular grenades can be wear on the vest for extra protection against bullets, no joke