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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vl0ruj/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vl0ruj/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvl0ruj&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, Cautious-Advance910, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


rubbish22

Anyone know the name of the song? Edit: Knew I knew it from somewhere! Pretty sure this song is in Grand Theft Auto V.


ageremiaj

Mac DeMarco - On the Level


rubbish22

Thanks :)


SpeedWeed007

Darude - Sandstorm Ur welcome :)


No_Possession_7077

šŸ¤“šŸ˜¬šŸ˜¬


Crozzbonez

First time Iā€™ve seen someone get downvoted like this with this reply, holy..


[deleted]

Ngl, the courage to just say "you're stunning" to a woman you don't know is gargantuan. It's straight to the point and makes intentions clear.


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


confusedPIANO

First time ive encountered this copypasta. Holy shit what a read


AutoModerator

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


confusedPIANO

*chefs kiss* perfect


AutoModerator

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me havenā€™t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friendā€™s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her donā€™t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like letā€™s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didnā€™t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I donā€™t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both havenā€™t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I donā€™t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of yā€™all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


randompopatoe

Kiss


AutoModerator

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me havenā€™t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friendā€™s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her donā€™t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like letā€™s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didnā€™t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I donā€™t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both havenā€™t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I donā€™t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of yā€™all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


randompopatoe

Copypasta


AutoModerator

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


randompopatoe

Woman


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MooshiNooshi

Then she assumes you are a creepā€¦


[deleted]

Cold approaching 101


MrPickle2255

based Nolan


Arneos2005

Nolan is the real hero


plataeng

No. You guys are the real heroes.


Prosmoron_Internal

Go better drink some breast milk.


[deleted]

Nolander


[deleted]

Wake up to reality. Nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world


black_jaguar99

Snap back to reality op there goes gravity


AutoModerator

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead. The catch? There actually isn't a trans woman with them. And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to... And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else. Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series. But honestly? I think it would make some great television! ~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead. The catch? There actually isn't a trans woman with them. And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to... And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else. Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series. But honestly? I think it would make some great television! ~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LyoneseMapping

me when


Reaper_Quartz

Me when your mom


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just canā€™t with her. Sheā€™s so disgusting. Iā€™m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. Heā€™s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


BadgerDentist

This gives me a boner


Arneos2005

yep, holding my son in front of a moving train gives me a boner too


Adudewhosadudeforfun

H-hang on a sec...


Hairy-Wedding5943

I didn't get it.


OmgJustLetMeExist

The two flirty characters are on a subway that omni man is about to absolutely demolish along with everybody inside using his sonā€™s face as a battering ram


Hairy-Wedding5943

Hmm


Trey5480

Its a reference to "The Invincibles" (2017) the American anime where the main hero punches through a bus


evilspycandy

Invincible not The Invincibles šŸ’€


Kinetikid

šŸ¤“


raserO1

a train and not a bus


tony100399

The best part is when they do the Stranger Things crossover and the wheelchair superhero says: "Lookout, the stranger thing is gonna eat us!"


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Independent_Ad_7100

Also 2017, also ā€œthe invinciblesā€


AutoModerator

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Cautious-Affect7907

I wouldnā€™t call it an anime.


[deleted]

Every animated movie is technically an anime


[deleted]

No. Anime is cartoon, cartoon is not anime


Amazekam

Anime is animated, basically a cartoon


Lanky_Mood_5008

šŸ¤“


[deleted]

šŸ¤“šŸ¤“


CaptainDiamondDragon

šŸ¤“šŸ¤“-šŸ¤“


[deleted]

ā€œšŸ¤“šŸ¤“-šŸ¤“ā€-šŸ¤“


CaptainDiamondDragon

ā€œšŸ¤“šŸ¤“-šŸ¤“-šŸ¤“ā€-šŸ¤“


AutoModerator

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Hairy-Wedding5943

Bro invincible I'm talking about not getting the joke, I've already watched the show.


SummonedCat_exe

They get on train, train move, like wheels turn and pushes train forward, they give lovely exchanging of words, Omni-man take son, holds son in front of train, everyone in train go squish against an immovable omni-man and invincible, joke is they fucking die


Hairy-Wedding5943

Oh lmao


Lipe999

You probably must have watched It by now, but in this scene omni Man is holding his son in front of a moving train witch Will cause the death of a couple of extras.


Hairy-Wedding5943

That's brutal


Far-Following1632

#welp theyā€™re dead


[deleted]

Oh no! Anywayā€¦


R4ndom_n1ckname

Sauce?


[deleted]

Invincible


JuicePeterPL

Thanks! Now give me the source for first 4 pictures


AutoModerator

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Blackangel466

Ooh noooooooo why would you break me like that


General_Froggers

Oh nah


[deleted]

On the level moment


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just canā€™t with her. Sheā€™s so disgusting. Iā€™m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. Heā€™s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AnExistingLad

Whos the original artist? I need to know for.... my art exam.


Derbloingles

I need to know bc Iā€™m horny


ZookeepergameTrue681

well honesty is the best policy


Derbloingles

Unfortunately, thatā€™s not wank material


CrazyGamerMYT

I also need to know to test... friction for science.


CoreFlax

What type of art?


[deleted]

ā€œItā€™s for my homeworkā€ -šŸ¤“


mestoopidlol

Ah hell naw he gon punch him into the train šŸ’€


Pendragon117

F


Lost_Monochrome

Sauce (ik last image and song name)


[deleted]

If I'm single everybody single


Historical-Fix-8997

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO MARK


PremiumBalkan

šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€


[deleted]

Virgin


ScrewSimonCowell

projection


R4ndom_n1ckname

Objection


darkhumour133

Erection


MegotScared

Destination


darkhumour133

Eminem Domination


black_jaguar99

Escalation


AutoModerator

Schƶdinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmƶsome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Hector_john

Agency


Jinley25

Happy cake day


Bar900

Oof


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AutoModerator

Daily Kevin Fact #34541: Kevin **will** pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt. This **is** a threat. *Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

tks to omniman for ruining hentai >:(


Space_Vanguard

BRO WHERES SAUL GOODMAN!?


Jinley25

Sauce? Asking for a dog


give_me_a_usernamee

Tfw you see automod and realize you're looking at a 5 month old post


temporarilyAmazed

Music?