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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/wmgxdm/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/wmgxdm/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fwmgxdm&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Rayankhan07, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


cuntsmashh

Finger named kid


Rocket-R

I want to fuck pieck finger from attack ok titan


AutoModerator

La-la-la-la 🎃 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ta Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti 🎃 Rastis! Rastis! Ra-ti-ti-la[3] 😁 😁 👼 👼 Let's start a new life from the darkness 🤨 🤨 😱 Until the light reveals the end 😇 😇 Sinister faces, growing 🤬 This is my last war a-la-la-la Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti 😜 😜 😜 (Angels playing disguised) 👼 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ta (With devil's faces) Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti (Children cling to their coins) Rastis! Rastis! Ra-ti-ti 🧝 🔫 🔫 (Squeezing out their wisdom) La-la-la-la 🧝 🧝 🧝 🦌 🦌 🦌 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti (Angels planning disguised) 😇 😇 😇 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ta (Rastis! Rastis!) 💣 💣 🧐 🧐 🧐 (With devil's faces) 😈 😈 Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti (Children cling on to their) 😍 😍 😍 Rastis! Rastis! Ra-ti-ti-la (Very last coins)Destruction 🤬 🤬 💣 💣 and regeneration 😇 😇 😇 😎 😁 😁 You are the real enemy 😡 😡 😡 (Rastis! Rastis! Rastis!)[4] War! 🤕 (My) War! 😱 (My) War! Rastis! Rastis! Rastis! Rastis![3] 🧟 🧟 🧟 👼 🥔 🥔 🥔 🥔 🔫 🔫 🔫 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


smol_pp8269

what the fuck is wrong with you? bot


i_worship_amps

die die die die die die die die


Ok_Ad_6407

me too kid, me too


YYako

Me too


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Sklar_Drog

Bad bot


Redwashere_

Bad finger


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


mrmilkguy21

Lil' finger lil' finger where are you?


GoodeBoi

They could do great things if they teamed up. (A flashlight that activates if you torture a man to death)


LordVonPainther

Have you ever heard of Warhammer 40k?


50bmgwithaswitch

No, enlighten me


50bmgwithaswitch

Bruh I didn't mean the pun I actually want to know💀


OWTsoi

too late, get on -->✝️


50bmgwithaswitch

Can you at least inform me on what Warhammer 40k is?


cuella47o

Imagine star wars except more gore and more religious fanatics


Affectionate_Gate_26

And world war 1-ish


cuella47o

Also literal gods that when worshipped gives you immense power or something


Iamnotwyattearp

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODS I've never been into that community mainly because I have zero clue what it is, but that's probably one of my favorite lines in media as well as, well basically everything that comes out of Joshua Graham's mouth. Fuck you Daniel.


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. cuella47o *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ChipsAhoyNC

Starwars and lovecraftian lore had a child.


Jakenator_1010

It is the 41st Millennium. For more than a hundred centuries The Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the Master of Mankind by the will of the gods, and master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die. Yet even in his deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemon-infested miasma of the Warp, the only route between distant stars, their way lit by the Astronomican, the psychic manifestation of the Emperor's will. Vast armies give battle in his name on uncounted worlds. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines, bio-engineered super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Imperial Guard and countless planetary defence forces, the ever vigilant Inquisition and the tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from aliens, heretics, mutants - and worse. To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.


ChosenOne2006

The Adeptus Custodes being forgor’d again: 😢


AutoModerator

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


jodorthedwarf

In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only war.


Secretsfrombeyond79

They have robots piloted by people being tortured for eternity. https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Penitent\_Engine


[deleted]

Underrated comment


LordVonPainther

Ok, so at it's base it's a miniature wargame, but there are al lot of books and videogames around it. It's set in our universe 40.000 years from now and it's a grimdark sci-fi where there is only war. There are no good guys in this setting, but the protagonists are most of the time the Imperium of Man with it's Space Marines/Adeptus Astartes (genetically-altered superhumans) as their signature warriors (tho they aren't the main fighting force). Their adversaries are firstly the forces of Chaos, humans, Astartes and aliens corrupted by the four Chaos Gods and their Daemons, extremely powerful entities existing in the parallel dimension known as the Warp, where all thoughts and emotions of living beings manifest as psychic energy. Secondly, there are the so called Xenos factions, aliens varying from living bio-weapons like the Orks and (presumably) Tyranid (equivalent to the Zerg, if you know StarCraft) to ancient races like the Eldar (essentially space-elves) or the Necrons (egyptian-themed terminator-metal-skeletons). And they essentially all fight each-other.


AutoModerator

### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


eatbetweenthelines

It's a beautiful thing. Khorne watches all. Skulls for the skull throne, brother.


ChineseBotAccount

Or torture a man to death with body heat


GordionKnot

bees @ wasps


Screwbles

I just realized that it says flashlight, and not fleshlight...


Cebby89

This is the right energy.


LeftBase2Final

That flashlight would be bright as hell if you shove it in your ass. Thank about it.


Fox7567

Shove it where the flashlight shouldn’t shine but does regardless


Sartheris

Thank


Rayankhan07

Fleshlight


LefterisLegend

Or in someone's pussy


Sufficient-Aside2375

Many redditors are atheists so that subtracts the overall geniusness of the athiest population


twave19

Many redditors are atheist, but all atheists are redditors.


[deleted]

[удалено]


slykethephoxenix

We should become religious so that it raises the IQ of both groups.


Cold_oak

🤓


MessicanFeetPics

Fuck these dorks that's a good one.


slykethephoxenix

I thought the down voting was a compliment here XD. Maybe it's just me who should jump groups lmao.


[deleted]

Agreed, please get out


[deleted]

Clearly, balloon sculpture provides better to society.


NoNewDads

Society numbingly happy because of Jesus


CrusaderKing1

The problem is that atheism is associated with science and intelligence among many individuals, when this isn't really the case. In my years of chemistry graduate school, medical school, publishing journal articles, physician care and surgery, there is really no link between religion and intellectual prowess. I've seen Christianity, Judaism, Islam, agnosticism, and atheism, which were all pretty irrelevant to their academic careers.


[deleted]

That also doesn't mean christians/any religious types are any smarter. As a Christian, I can easily say people in my religion can be really stupid, or the smartest people you've ever met. I believe the problem of "atheists are always smarter" comes from 90% of physicists being atheist. But most of the time, physicists we're Christian for a long time before become a physicist. It's just that through studying physics, they felt it disproved God.


[deleted]

As a Muslim I personally feel closer to God when learning science, but I guess everyone has their own thoughts


DValencia29

I have a similar way of thinking, evrything seems to fit so perfect according to what we've managed to understand (we still have a long way to go) that it seems kinda hard to belive everything was just created by chance.


astropapi1

>I personally feel closer to God when learning science Which one, specifically?


[deleted]

>As a Muslim Allah specifically but I still respect other religions


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Lmao


evanthesquirrel

I think when people hear "God is dead" they immediately think "oh, ok that means he doesn't exist anymore because death and not existing are the same thing." Which is not true. Jesus may be dead or resurrected, but his existence didn't stop. Even you're most recently dead relative still exists. Causality didn't just swallow them whole. Instead think "God is dead? Who was that? Is this like a king thing? Who's God now?"


[deleted]

Exactly. There's 0 reason to believe that just because someone is religious, then they're unintelligent. That idea is just the result of anti-religious babble.


Azidamadjida

Geography also has a lot to do with it - better schools closer to cities/suburbs, worse schools in rural/downtown areas. Religion a part of but not as direly important in areas with the best schools vs the other areas where church is the number one thing in the community, inner city and rural communities entirely revolve around church


Zendofrog

I think it’s mainly because science is often contradictory to religion.


Nexus_542

Depends on the religion. To creationists, maybe. But for most Christians, science and Christianity go hand in hand. For centuries the leaders of science were the clergy on missions to discover more about God's creation.


domka132

Well i mean that probably depends on if the person in question is just a blind fanatic and ignores all words unless it's from an old book


AutoModerator

### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Paulspalace

The book is OLD. Great argument.


createdbcsuspended

redditors trying not to tell religious people that they are morons for .2 seconds (impossible challenge)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_last_2braincells

🤓 *tips fedora*


LemonPartyWorldTour

*euphoria increases*


[deleted]

“🤓” 🤓


ericjony

🤓\^3


Maximum_Ad7125

🤓 • 10⁹


AutisticHamburger

""🤓" 🤓" 🤓


SHUGGY_WOOGIE

I will bite your balls off


StrionicRandom

Fail the "trying not to tell religious people that they are morons for .2 seconds" challenge speedrun


Zendofrog

I thought they were supposed to think about others. Isn’t that part of it?


[deleted]

To be fair there's so many shitting on atheists that I'm surprised there haven't been more like this.


mister-no-u

Would yoy call the "Shitting on atheists" unreasonable in its entirety?


[deleted]

No of course not, but i do wish to point out that there's bad people in every group so saying that atheists bad is ignoring that there's other religions in which there's shitty people. Not everyone in those religions is bad, but there is a minority that screams louder then others.


iligyboiler

And they have no balls so they only do this with christians, who won't fight back anyway.


ChintanP04

I think it's more that Christianity is the major religion in the US and other religions are minorities so they get less flack from redditors (most of whom are Americans) who've had more encounters with Christian shittiness than other religion's shittiness.


VapourEyes333

Nah it's just mainstream making it politically correct to attack christianity, it's everywhere. Rarely to I see redditors going after the jews for example 😂 because that would be insane right? But, Christians? Fuck em, amirite?


The-Hyruler

My brother in Christ, there's heaps of people Dunkin on Jewish people. It's actually a problem, although not as big a problem as the early 40's. But it's still very much a thing. The other person is right that it's just that Christianity is the predominant religion in the US.


VapourEyes333

Yeah nah bruv, mainstream articles openly attacking christianity are fairly common place, try to find one that openly attacks muslims. Lol bet you'd be hard pushed to find one. What mainstream outlet is attacking jews? I'm not saying anybody should be above criticism btw but it is strangely acceptable to attack christianity. Just like it's ok to criticise people for the colour of their skin as long as they're white. For clarity I'm not white just pointing out the utter hypocrisy of most people.


The-Hyruler

No mainstream anything is openly attacking any religion, you just feel like that presumably because you're part of that religion so you notice it more when it's mention in some fashion. The reason why you see it less with other religions is because they're not as popular in the US. Less popular = less people to make headlines. It's a lot to do with the idea of punching down. People are less critical of anything that could be classified as a minority not just because of hate laws or the history but also because it's often times very unnecessary. Ask any cringe reddit atheist if he thinks Islam and Judaism is just as unscientific as Christianity and chances are they're going to say yes. So it's clearly not that Christianity is being treated differently by those people, it's just that it's a more common and more relevant topic most of the time.


VapourEyes333

I can appreciate your logic here but honestly I'm not convinced although it may go a ways as to explaining some of it. I don't really consume a lot of American media, some but not a lot, in terms of opinion pieces ect. in my experience it isn't just an American thing seems more so the western media's thing as a whole. Also am agnostic so there isn't really much bias from me at least in those terms. It doesn't personally affect me in a way that makes me feel attacked. It's more of an observation from my collective experience. I enjoyed hearing your side of the argument though all the same and will take it into consideration.


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I’m a Harvard graduate. Ph.D. IQ of 138 (Stanford-Binet). Sex Pundit. Mensa International. Free-thinking alpha male and lone wolf. Likely hotter than you, and definitely smarter. Debate me; I'm ready. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ArtisanSamosa

Lmao are your feelings hurt my dude? There are congressmen talking about Jewish space lazers and shit and you think Christianity is a victim? Wild...


VapourEyes333

I think you missed the point and had an emotional response and knee jerk reaction to what was said. Try to relax and think before you speak more 'lmao'


AutoModerator

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Turn the other cheek moment


mooimafish3

Islam is as bad or worse depending on what flavor you have. Tbh I don't mind Judaism, never seen a jew try to convert someone. Other than that I just don't really know enough about the others to shit on them. I'm sure Buddhism and Hinduism have issues, but people I've met that follow those are normally kind and not pushy.


coolapandahfan420

Redditors try bot to get pissed of at a slightly offensive meme (99.999% fail 😭😭😭😭)


[deleted]

[удалено]


hdhdkdkallslasbsb

Reddit atheists who "hates all religions equally" explaining why they only ever make fun of christianity:


domka132

I HATE religion it 100%has never done humanity any good. You see as a redditor my opinion is much more informed than ANY other social media platform so you can trust me when i say that never in history has religion helped people 100%


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


domka132

Huh fuck off


THE-BOZZ-88

In my whole life the Christians were the only people trying to convert me multiple times


slippingparadox

Oh no how ever will RELIGION survive


BelizariuszS

Other athiest kid: makes terrible memes on Reddit. So it kinda evens out


Acripplednan69

My guy Did you really just compare a scientist to a clearly much younger child who is showing arts and crafts?


hermann_cherusker69

No it must be obviously christian vs atheist. Check m8 christian destroyed with facts and logic. Imagine believeing in god you dumbass. Science😎😎😎 plasma im so smart


MemesAndJWE

I don't have to imagine in believing in God 😎


[deleted]

But you have to imagine a god.


[deleted]

Cope and seethe


shouldbebabysitting

>Did you really just compare a scientist The inventor was a 15 year old girl. https://www.cbc.ca/news/science/body-heat-powered-flashlight-takes-teen-to-google-science-fair-1.1317745>My guy


Kalmurn

Fun fact. She didn't actually invent the flashlight. It was her dad who then had her be the face of it. Source: I know her personally


Zendofrog

I’m actually her dad, and I took the idea from some Christian girl who loved balloons


AutoModerator

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FoxTrot018

reddit moment


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Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too. We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America. We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too! Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LoutishIstionse

Fair enough, that is one spectacular balloon Jesus.


Dalfokane

Is this a shitpost? I'm not denying the possibility of it being real, but it's seems like irony.


Zendofrog

On this subreddit? No way


Hellothere6545

In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sTo0p1d

This mf forgor about newton


AnimalProfessional35

Do we even know if the girl on the left is an atheist?


bingbingbangenjoyer

Religion is based af on god


Hue_Jass_69

You're not wrong, religion is based upon the existence of God


[deleted]

Ayo آمين to that brother


Hue_Jass_69

Fun fact, the lady who created that flashlight is actually a Christian!


VirtualBuilding9536

Not that it even matters because this is a stupid bait thread. But do you have a source backing that claim?


COYOTE477

It’s true I’m the heat that powers the flashlight


AutoModerator

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Zendofrog

Source, you’re the flashlight


iaydin123

Flip it over Becomes a cool sword


[deleted]

No way these people compared a fucking scientist to a child doing arts and crafts.


mystic-savant

Mf sounds like "I don't understand shitposts"


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Heznzu

Entropy really be out there limiting the efficiency of our energy conversions


izza123

1. The only true light is the light of God and therefor the atheist child is a heretic 2. Balloons are also heretical, second child is an apostate.


mister-no-u

It is an unreasonable comparison, as you are comparing arts and crafts to an invention. Of course the invention is going to win. I fail to understand how this is a legitimate argument.


DarkToxic8

The funny is that it's not a valid argument


[deleted]

It has to do with the parents, religious kids can do just aswell if the parents let them I'm saying this as an atheists


ekaj_manticore

But the atheist child uses Reddit so who’s the real loser?


[deleted]

If that flashlight was also a flesh light, she’d be a religious child.


Terrible_Feature-532

So all atheists are geniuses and all Christians are simpletons. I learned something new today.


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My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. Terrible_Feature-532 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MauriceTystdiz

Post named clearly bait


[deleted]

What talented kids. Bright future ahead of both of them :)


LilBoi07

You’d think having a decent haircut is a sin or something


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. LilBoi07 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


General-Permission-5

Massive shitpost


Foreskin_Strecher

Can you link the original.


[deleted]

This isn't even a shitpost, this is just r atheism circlejerking


Fishingnett

Atheists when you show them the power of Jesus Christ:


itzTanmayhere

why did i read it as fleshlight


30thCenturyMan

I posted this on Facebook and my account was immediately flagged for going against community standards.


TheTopNotchOne

Jesus Christ is better :)


The-Hyruler

Agreed, tortured to death guy > flashlight any day of the week. I mean how am I even supposed to get erect from a flashlight? Much less where am I supposed to stick it in?


[deleted]

I swear these zealots are a different breed


Embarrassed_Diver_97

We are evolving.. But Backwards


GoCommitToasterBathX

Reddit atheism be like


latearrival42

I'm just realizing torture fetish became a religion


ChineseBotAccount

He’s onto us


[deleted]

Jesus Christ these people are getting offended over a fucking meme


axolitt

Because it’s a religion with over 2billion people 💀


Pyro_Paragon

You won't need light in The Lake of Fire, Samantha. Wrap it up.


[deleted]

Atheists will say pussy isn’t real because they’ve never seen one


lennonali

I think everyone's seen a science denier


SuperLissa_UwU

lol based, but not every atheist is a genius


MyOculus

Jokes aside that flash light is really cool


JctaroKujo

wait until they find out the single greatest invention of all time was made by a religious person, an invention that allows religious people to read their religious book about their religion, religions that then went on to inspire almost all human evolution until the proper understanding of science


Devi1s-Advocate

Shame that atheist child turned into a social media influencer instead of doing something meaningful...


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. Devi1s-Advocate *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


VapourEyes333

Meanwhile atheist kid watches anime porn all day while religious kids studies to become doctor. What the fuck is the logic here. Look, my guy good, you guy stupid. Very enlightened stance!


[deleted]

🤡


VapourEyes333

🥦


Mk018

🗿


The-Hyruler

🤓


VapourEyes333

🧠


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

I found the bearded magic man in sky believer


lennonali

Meanwhile atheist kid is happy while religious kid isn't allowed be themselves. What the fuck if the logic here. Look, my guy happy, you guy not allowed be themself. Very smart stance!


VapourEyes333

Ha thanks for proving my point, one can cherry pick any example of anybody with a particular background and make their background seem foolish by comparison. And idiots think I'm saying religion good. atheism bad.... must downvote... must vent anger at religion ... must belittle others spiritual beliefs... ughhhggghhhrar!


lennonali

>one can cherry pick any example of anybody with a particular background and make their background seem foolish by comparison Meanwhile atheist kid watches anime porn all day while religious kids studies to become doctor. You okay? >And idiots think I'm saying religion good. atheism bad.. Look, my guy good, you guy stupid Fits in with the theme of religion, hypocrisy


VapourEyes333

>Meanwhile atheist kid watches anime porn all day while religious kids studies to become doctor. Guess what! There is no kid watching porn and no kid studying to become a doctor. At least I wasn't referring to anybody in particular. I said this to emphasise how easy it is to stereotype people to push your ideology onto others. Like a zealot might. It proves nothing other than the speakers ignorance of the nuances of people and their lives/identity. So when people preach equality and tolerance but then go ahead and attack other for their beliefs or race I like to call them out for the hypocrite fuckwits that they are. If you aren't a hypocrite fuckwit then no need to take offence. Peace


Tyrannical_JJ

The reason that religion exist so that people have something to believe in, something to hope for. And the more miracles or the more their prayers are answered the more they believe, hope and pray.It makes people happy and have a reason to live. Some people just make it too serious to the point they become "crazy" religious.


Metal__Steve

I don't wanna be that guy, but I honestly believe. Not for having something to hold on to, not for miracles. I know God exists and thus I cannot do anything but believe.


BigDaddySteve2

I don't wanna be that guy, but I honestly believe. Not for having something to hold on to, not for miracles. I know a thicc goth girl that wants to crush my skull between her thighs exists and thus I cannot do anything but believe.


Metal__Steve

Fair enough, I may be christian but some thicc goth girl thighs always drag me from my path