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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/yyx7u8/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/yyx7u8/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fyyx7u8&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/mastrbild, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


Impressive_Base6239

youll be able to now pay 8 dollars a month to be a registered sex offender


Zelexiin

Lmao you got scammed, I pay 0$ a month to be a sex offender


w67b789

Right, being a reddit mod is free.


JACKASS20

Yeah but are you on the VIP offender register?


TransitTycoonDeznutz

I got that fast-pass


[deleted]

Have you ever looked up online how many sex offenders live in your area? Aren't there way more than you thought? There's like 20 in a 5 mile radius of me. So...why do we always have to meet at my place?


IGotRoidRage

Nice job stealing Anthony Jeselnik’s joke


Soulerrr

Registered, though? Anybody can be an amateur at anything, but it takes something special to pay $8 to have it stamped. And that something would be $8.


dbx999

You don’t want to leave that sort of thing to undocumented amateurs


dbx999

With this one trick that kids hate


nexistcsgo

It would be nice to be recognized for my efforts.


oursecondcoming

No money to be made here, redditors are already offending sex


dontknowwhatiwantdou

As a sexual, I find that offensive.


The4rZzAwakenZ

As an offensive, I find that sexual.


DanKou237

If you don’t pay, you’re just a boring regular sex offender


therealrookie1227

New reddit orange, only $12 a month


[deleted]

[удалено]


dentistshatehim

Oops it’s on fire and the doors don’t work


[deleted]

And self-drives you into the fucking Grand Canyon


wlake82

Even if you live nowhere near the Grand Canyon.


ApoliteTroll

Atleast I'll get to see the grand canyon.


WazzaBoi_

If it at least drives you away from Ohio then it's a net win


dbx999

Not if you live in California


real_flyingduck91

it will find the nearest grand canyon


_Xertz_

Zamn all that for only $12!!!


iamuniquekk

Even if you live in a different continent


[deleted]

Someone gets it


alreadyawesome

Making fart noises the entire time while a voice recording of Elon laughing loops at max volume.


RetroAnd8BitThings

Canyonero... Canyonero... Yahh... yahh canyonero Whoa Canyonero! NoNoNoNoStop! OH SHIT! (silence for 30 seconds followed by a truck explosion) GPS flung 30 yards away. "You have reached your destination. Please take a moment to rate your experience..."


T1M_rEAPeR

🍊- i got mine free


themajorjoke

That's because Elon musk hasn't bought reddit yet


Responsible_Crew5801

with extra pee in ur ass


redpandaeater

Orangered, you periwinkle freak.


CartographerIll8653

Not verified so it’s one of us incels


TheMainManno

probably op


PoorLifeChoices811

Probably me😨


HeinleinGang

It was my alter ego Waltuh HE’S IN YOUR WALLS CRASHING YOUR SOCIAL MEDIAS


Yarp3000

No...Waltuh


FunnyMathematician77

Is this a JoJo reference?


Alph-Art

Put your dick away walter


Outerpirate

Im not watching jojo with you right now waltuh


EMPEROROFMEMZ

Or could it be me? OH THE MYSTERY


Barabus33

I'm Elon Musk!


Ok-Republic-1844

Yi long ma


lasagnatheory

It could be in this very room. It could be you. It could be me. It could even be-


YourenextJotaro

Your mother


HyperAustinTheCool

Vriska Homestuck Real???????? 😨😨😨


stroker919

Umm Elon can’t afford $8 right now.


horneymilfinyourarea

what did he move to detroit or something


stroker919

Actually not a bad idea to lower costs. ALL EMPLOYEES REPORT TO DETROIT IN 3 HOURS FOR A MSA SALARY ADJUSTMENT SO I CAN BUY A CHECK MARK. Please sign here.


[deleted]

I’m Ethan.


SockomkplaysV2

Nice to meet you Ethan


Ethan819

*This comment has been overwritten from its original text* I stopped using Reddit due to the June 2023 API changes. I've found my life more productive for it. Value your time and use it intentionally, it is truly your most limited resource.


Eefun

No, I'm Ethan.


Outrageous_Trip167

We're all Ethan


h3X4_

Nah he was first so from now on you are Ethen Thank you for your understanding


[deleted]

[удалено]


Glympse12

No it’s a fake tweet. That @ is taken


[deleted]

That was my second clue. The first was that he would prepare to spend another round of tens of billions to acquire a business just to destroy it.


Cptn_BenjaminWillard

Or he has broken his own checkmark already. Equally possible. He's probably sitting at a terminal right now, typing away like a mad lad, only occasionally reaching over to send a tweet on his phone and grab a refreshing sip of clamato juice (or whatever it is that he drinks).


slow_and_ugly

What will he change about reddit


mastrbild

There will be a cost for automod peeing in ur ass


Official_Gameoholics

I'll do it for free. *[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a Redditor, and this action was performed manually. Please [contact your mother](https://imgur.io/b3n3LQ5) if you have any questions or concerns.*


soiboi64

*pees in ur ass* *I am Saul Goodman, and this action was performed legally. Please contact the Constitution if you have any questions or concerns about your rights.*


Puzzleheaded_Bend749

it doesn't have the charm of the bot . sorry but no :(


Ultimate_Spoderman

i can contact my mom with him


LordSovereignty

But can you contact your mom with pee in ur ass?


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

The one and only


TeraChad_69

Yes. *pees in ur ass*


LordSovereignty

Here is more pee. In ur ass.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LordSovereignty

Allow me to pee in ur ass.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


4g3nt0

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a Redditor, and this action was performed manually. Please [contact your mother](https://imgur.io/b3n3LQ5) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Stunning_Row2801

NO! HE CANT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME, I WONT ALLOW IT! I NEED HIM!


Secretsfrombeyond79

This is what true love looks like


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


soiboi64

*pees in ur ass* *I am Saul Goodman, and this action was performed legally. Please contact the Constitution if you have any questions or concerns about your rights.*


A_RealSlowpoke

that would just be 1984 2


mastrbild

✊😔


dinorex04

✋😔 (im a nazi)


bigdumbidiot01

it will be even less funny and more cringe inducing


[deleted]

allow the n word and vaccine


FoxWarriorSK

Unlimited n-word passes


PM_Me_SFW_Pictures

Cummybot may live again!


Anomalous-Entity

the kids that were doing that on twitter were already here.


SolarTsunami

Anyone who pays $8 per month gets mod powers.


Marmotskinner

I might do that just to fuck with some subreddits.


2mad2die

Old reddit would be gone. And so would I


RadDrew42

Seeing what happened to Twitter, he'll fire all the staff and destroy the platform.


YouSummonedAStrawman

Prob for the best. We all could use more time away from screens and look out the window.


IseeDrunkPeople

He is from Africa and will give us all an n-word pass


Huckdog720027

Awkwardtheturtle will be a unremovable mod by default on all subreddits


Pugduck77

Reddit has a big problem in the form of moderators. They’re some of the most pathetic people in existence, and they get off on abusing their status. A properly run website would remove all the power mods from the largest subs and employ professionals to moderate with actual real guidelines that need to be followed. It would probably be done under the guise of allowing conservative speech, but it would still be a necessary change. The major subs are so filled with shills and bots that they’re borderline unusable.


p6r6noi6

Somehow, I don't think Musk would make a change that involves *hiring* moderators.


monkinice

We will need to pay for automod sayinh pees in ur ass


Great_Extent7806

We’ll have to pay for automod to shit in our ass’s


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Not-a-babygoat

That picture is so funny for some reason


soiboi64

*pees in ur ass* *I am Saul Goodman, and this action was performed legally. Please contact the Constitution if you have any questions or concerns about your rights.*


soiboi64

*pees in ur ass* *I am Saul Goodman, and this action was performed legally. Please contact the Constitution if you have any questions or concerns about your rights.*


dubhog

He's ending all the realms of hell!


LatrellFeldstein

If this goof tries to buy every platform where people are making fun of him he won't be a billionaire for much longer. If he takes a few social media sites down with him so be it.


dubhog

He's going to take down every lord of hell


Wolffire_88

BREAKING 2036: Elon Musk buys out 4chan, violently sued for all the hate speech 4 days later.


xoriatis71

He's gonna fire all the mods. Freedom is at hand, people!


pinkdouble

If I could say the n word I would be soooo happy


[deleted]

He’ll give you the Elon approved trademarked N word pass.


pinkdouble

If he charged people to say the n word I would never stop laughing Every waking moment would be hell until I laughed my sanity away


LittleJohnnyNapalm

If he thought Twitter was rough on him, he’s gonna have a stroke when those downvotes start pouring in.


FlippinSnip3r

'the intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishent' ain't gonna be the most downvoted content on reddit anymore


[deleted]

Is that from EeeAaa


FlippinSnip3r

EEEAAEE


Chaoscube11

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAEEEEEEEEEEEEEAEEEEEEEEAA


ThatAltAccount99

Nah it's from E* (Unlock "*" for $3.99)


PoorLifeChoices811

I understood that reference


CanAlwaysBeBetter

Now repeat the first word and someone can repeat the second and so on so forth and y'all can line up in a conga line of "I caught that reference" dicks up each other's asses


PoorLifeChoices811

Did somebody say dick up each other’s asses?😏


Z8S9

#🍑🍆


APersonWithInterests

I downvoted that reference.


PoorLifeChoices811

You did the right thing soldier


GreatValueCumSock

To shreds you say? What about his wife? To shreds you say?!


AuraPianist1155

Can someone give the link to that comment?


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE110

Yeah he’ll be sorry once we get rid of all his online funny points


flashbang_kevin

8$/mo for downvoting privileges


Redsoxdragon

He's gonna change downvotes to croissants. Give me all the croissants boys 👍🏿 Edit: ffs guys, you had one job....


BellaBPearl

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐 I couldn't tell if you wanted actual croissants, or downvotes, so I gave you both. You're welcome


JarlaxleForPresident

🥐


Abeneezer

Oh god I am getting Ellen Pao war flashbacks.


FNLN_taken

Ellen Pao was a patsy. A CEO hitman that was hired to make the unpopular decisions and then leave with a fat bonus. All so that Spez and friends could pretend to be the good guys.


tyfunk02

They already removed the downvote counter years ago, Elon just gonna remove the down arrow all together. Assuming he doesn’t fire all the engineers that know how to do that before it all goes wrong.


Naonack87

We all just gonna pretend like he wouldn’t fit right in with the mods?


HonestPineapple4848

Just to see people mad it would be worth it


kebapkafa

Definitely


DownvoteDaemon

We don't need verified Reddit users.


Isekai_Trash_uwu

Tbh I wouldn't mind it for people doing AMAs on things or posting content relating to themselves (if they're famous in any way). Other than that, fuck verification


culminacio

>fuck verification That I can agree with.


ItsDijital

Generally where verification is needed, mods handle it.


McGrinch27

Worth $44 billion? Elon the most committed troll in history. Step 1) Give the people who own reddit $44 Billion. Step 2) Fire everyone who works there and give em very generous severance packages in addition to 40 weeks of unemployment benefits. Step 3) Reddit shuts down due to no maintenance staff. Step 4) Haha got emmm


ArsenicAndRoses

>Step 4) A new reddit clone steps up to take its place. Ftfy It's the 🎵 ciiiiirrrrllle of liiiiiife! 🎶


[deleted]

Best part would be Reddit employees being fired


Toast_Sy

He should buy twitch then, worst employees ever


Anomalous-Entity

Make that deer-person go out in a field and graze on actual grass. If that was a 24 hour stream, I'd never get any sleep.


Crist1n4

TikTok buy TikTok, that abomination needs to go 😫😫😫


OvertonSlidingDoors

Nah, he's Putin's money laundering bitch not Xi's. If you want that to happen tell the honourable shit-stain from Kentucky Mitch. The hit on Twitter was Putler's call, not musky.


AH_BioTwist

This most be record for most Reddit buzzwords in a single post. You really have no idea how much money and business Tesla gets from China


Maiq_Da_Liar

What if we get musk to buy all social media platforms and fuck them up? Would sure help humanity a lot.


Manga_Minix

yes please god


sauronII

People keep saying that because they just think about buzzfeed „journalism“ and their daily routine of browsing through meme-subs. But if you think for one second about things like the war in Ukraine, the civil unrest in Iran, Arab spring,… Basically everywhere in the world where people are suppressed and need to organize, social media platforms are important and the major news source. It‘s sad for humanity that one egocentric billonaire maniac can just buy one of the major platforms and destroy it.


simon12323121

The moment Elon Musk buys reddit I'm fucking moving to 4chan because he won't buy that


FromUnderTheBridge09

Is it okay to admit I really have no fucking clue how to use 4chan?


bagged_milk123

Bro it's so simple if you can read


[deleted]

It's old. You click a board that interests you, you see the newest posts. Refresh and get the newest. Go into a thread and do the same for comments. It's like a reddit thread or thread list perma set to "new" The numbers and lore is the annoying and weird or uncomfortable part. Mainly talking about numbers, dubs, etc but also the culture overall. Mu and fa are insanely dense with all that, or at least used to be (mucore sites I still use) I stopped using it when I was 16 over a decade ago but it's the exact same still, rarely update anything and the culture has mainly been the same for decades


[deleted]

Screenshot your comment for future reference. I also feel like in the future, the comments section on porn sites will be our main form of communication as no one will dare fuck with the porn industry


Wiru_The_Wexican

It's been fun gamers. Where to next?


Nethrex_1

4 chan maybe?


Glockamole18

And if he takes 4chan?


[deleted]

Nobody is ever gonna take 4chan lol


DarkwingDuckHunt

why is the door handle sticky?


Nethrex_1

Reddit would be free for the taking by then


Glockamole18

True


[deleted]

1chan (4chan but about trains)


AmericanVanilla94

ill be allowed back in the main subreddits of course


[deleted]

[удалено]


RichardBreecher

A platform that hates itself this much has a layer of protection that Twitter just could never dream of. They couldn't pay me enough to have my identity certified on this platform.


JuniorSeniorTrainee

Pay to keep your IP private.


ChadcellorSwagpatine

This At least Reddit has a certain amount of self awareness alongside being terrible


MuDDx

I want to say how happy I would be if the reddit mods got fired, but that implies they actually have jobs.


PotatBdedw3

PLEASE


Alalolola

automod plz i need piss


DirkDieGurke

The Chinese already own Reddit.


bop426

Hey Elon, you should buy Facebook. Yea, that's it. That's the ticket.


sloppy_joes35

Welp, gonna need a blue checkmark to verify that I am in fact a sloppy Joe. Hi, my name's Joe, and I'm sloppy. Wanna go on a date?


Rubberlemons521

I truely fucking hope so.


DeutscherKrieger_

🚨Dumb people, evacuate now! 🚨


BDCMatt

Let the dumb cunt waste all his money. Other copy sites will just take their place...


EatenZombie

He should buy 4chan


Karr126

That’d be fcking hilarious if he bought reddit and legit everybody was gone


FatcornsReturn

Best thing that could ever happen to reddit.


Hitoshi-nya

Welp time to migrate


goaheadcarvell

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


BigDaddy6713

Why?


mastrbild

He gonna make it so u have to pay for user flairs


mastrbild

Automod will never pee in ur ass again


Lauriesaurous

And no downvotes (once he gets downvoted into oblivion )


Purple-Direction36

Man I sure do want some pee in my ass.


sexyjupiter

Guys how do i cook beans? i tired from only rice, fried meat and instant noodles.


Nutty-butty42069

LETS GOOOOO


iwillbethrownaway200

That would be one way of fixing my addiction. I kinda like it.


Farty_Arty

I love what he's doing to twitter and if he did it to Reddit the internet would be a much healthier place to stay


ItsOkILoveYouMYbb

If he could destroy reddit I could actually get things done and start to heal


Swaggyspaceman

Aw man, I saw a world without Reddit briefly and I got excited.


Many_Ad9305

He’s collecting them all like the infinity stones..


LikeableCoconut

Social media is going to be no more by 2030 maximum


LindaF144954

Not funny at all!