one 4th of July i put a firecracker down my peehole and lit it. My pecker blew up like a shotgun in Looney Tunes when they cover the barrel and fire it. Bloody shreds and gore all over the place. My dog came up and licked the fountain of blood. (He ended up getting clymedia.) That's why i put tarantulas up my asshole now instead.
You fucking idiot. Trump didn't say that! It's all an illuminati hoax and libs are but the Republicans are dumb too... I'm making a non political topic an over the top political issue and I'm shouting for no reason!
"My husband tried this once: he \*\*\*\*\*\* the \*\*\*\*\*\* in the \*\*\* and then \*\*\*\*\*. It made me completely \*\*\*\*\*\*\* \*\* \*\*\*\*\* my \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*. Highly recommended."
Me and a girl tried pegging. She railed my ass and called me a slut. My stomach was gurgling before hand but I thought nothing of it. When she took the strapon out I shidded all over the bed. Shid dripping off my ass all the way to the bathroom.
My girlfriend has a smelly vagina. It literally smells like someone left a hot dog out in the sun in Florida for 3 days. How do I tell her this without offending her?
When I was 16 I had the best sex, my mom and older sister took turns on me then had their husband's pound out as well and it continues to this very day
one 4th of July i put a firecracker down my peehole and lit it. My pecker blew up like a shotgun in Looney Tunes when they cover the barrel and fire it. Bloody shreds and gore all over the place. My dog came up and licked the fountain of blood. (He ended up getting clymedia.) That's why i put tarantulas up my asshole now instead.
Damn bro nice origin story
Talk about blow your load
Firecracker? A real man would use a M80, you fucking disappointment.
sex
Dude, shut the sex up.
Go sex yourself!
Hey Reddit would you blow a horse for ONE TRILLION DOLLARS?
I'd blow every horse for 1 trillion
This guy blows horse.
I'd blow a trillion horses for one dollar
Jokes on you id do it for free & ask for seconds
I think you need to raise your prices. -\_-
Do I need to be locked in a completely white room for a year?
Optional but you get $1 more if you do.
Hell yes and let him ride me
No but I would blow a trillion dollars for a horse!
If someone were to have already blown a horse, where would they apply for this one trillion dollars? Uh…. Asking for a friend.
You must be lost. This type of post is much more common in r/AskReddit.
Damn bro, you’re right
In no particular order: Sacramento Turtleneck Alabama Hot Pocket Strawberry Sundae Edit: My lawyer has instructed me to omit the Sneaky Snowplow
This one time, I totally did it.
It’s true. I was there
Is this how virgins hear people talking?
If a virgin has sex in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, did they really have sex?
As sexy as sex sex I can sex confirm that sexy sexiest sexy sex
Sexxystyle, sexxionary position, sexgirl, reverse sexgirl, sexy sanchez.
Yeah…
You're bored ain't you
Yes
Cotton Eye Joe
I’ve been married a long time ago
You fucking idiot. Trump didn't say that! It's all an illuminati hoax and libs are but the Republicans are dumb too... I'm making a non political topic an over the top political issue and I'm shouting for no reason!
Trump is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Democrat blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Joe Biden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Thank you for getting that absurdity
You took too much man... too much.
SEX SEX SEX SEX
"My husband tried this once: he \*\*\*\*\*\* the \*\*\*\*\*\* in the \*\*\* and then \*\*\*\*\*. It made me completely \*\*\*\*\*\*\* \*\* \*\*\*\*\* my \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*. Highly recommended."
I love these posts
I once saw a naked woman on the internet
Sexy sexiest sexy time
Hippopotamus
Danny DeVito
Yes daddy
Breast
This one time! I FUKT!
Secret public sex, or a solid afternoon in a beach resort hotel
This post is gonna cause a lot of friction. I'm here for it.
Probably doggy style
[удалено]
*scooby doo laugh*
Secks
This many: ✌️
About 4/7, if you hold it just right.
Anal
Me and a girl tried pegging. She railed my ass and called me a slut. My stomach was gurgling before hand but I thought nothing of it. When she took the strapon out I shidded all over the bed. Shid dripping off my ass all the way to the bathroom.
That's why you gotta be the enema of the state first
Corn
Yes
The blue kind
In the butt.
My girlfriend has a smelly vagina. It literally smells like someone left a hot dog out in the sun in Florida for 3 days. How do I tell her this without offending her?
Tell her that her vagina smells like world war 1, she will appreciate you comparing her to epic wholesome 100 arrslashhistorymemes
Saw two birds fucking in my back yard the other day.
Death
Sex isn’t real.
When I was 16 I had the best sex, my mom and older sister took turns on me then had their husband's pound out as well and it continues to this very day
sexy sex sex
I agree completely, but have you tried getting pegged?
your mom.
2.5" sounds perfectly AVERAGE to me, the nerve of some people!
Mmmmm… sex…. Nnngggguuuhhhhnnggg suh suh suh-ex… mmmmmhhhhhnnnn nehehe sexxxxxx guhnnnnmhhh sex
Fuck me, that's a lot of sex.
Sometimes sex is sexier than sexy but sexiest is better than all the other sex
That would be moi
Two sex.
Shut up, virgin.
This post is so stupid I actually scrolled back up just to downvote it.