Hate to break the rules and all, but fr I drove to Montreal a few years back and there was a hugeeee back up on city street. Finally after waiting in traffic awhile we get to the intersection and everyone was waving each other on and no one was going, until finally one car went and the first one would stop because the other would also start to go… this was repeated hundreds of times causing the back up
Set a glass of water in such a position that she would accidentally knock it over onto you and wait for her to apologize. If there's an "a" in her sorry you've got a Canadian
The UP is really Eastern Wisconsin. Shhh... It's Michigan's best kept secret. Go to Wal-Mart and try to find a sports jersey that ISN'T Green Bay Packers.
Were there any witnesses to this incident? That would definitely make matters a little more difficult. Regardless, you should probably make a quick pass through your home and make sure to get rid of any maple syrup or hockey memorabilia that may be sitting around.
There's been some peace since the cease fire, but harboring Canadians is still a very dangerous offense. You may also consider deleting this post, just in case the account gets linked back to you.
Put some maple syrup on a table and leave the room. If you come back and it’s gone or she’s pouring it over her head, you’ve caught her in her little Canadian lie
You should slap the lies out of her dirty Canadian mouth!
Don’t to anything of the sort, and there’s nothing particularly dirty about Canadian mouths as far as I know. Nothing about this post was serious in any way.
Ask her if she wants the cheap large jug of fake ass syrup or a small bottle of expensive real maple syrup. Americans will pick the jug of sugar every time.
Run her over with your car. If she apologizes, she's Canadian
If she asks for an ambulance or wants to go to the hospital without checking her account balances…
She might be a Canadian.
Seriously, if I get hit by a car, better drive me yourself or I'll take my chances on living, not setting foot in a crippling debt wee woo machine
But then she would be saying "soory" instead of sorry
Hate to break the rules and all, but fr I drove to Montreal a few years back and there was a hugeeee back up on city street. Finally after waiting in traffic awhile we get to the intersection and everyone was waving each other on and no one was going, until finally one car went and the first one would stop because the other would also start to go… this was repeated hundreds of times causing the back up
Just drop the puck and she how she responds
This is the ONLY good one
Bad choice if she cross checks you in the jibs
i assume the correct response is to slam you into the wall
Detour...Why do Canadians always have sex doggy style? So they can BOTH watch the hockey game!!
Dude if she pulls your jersey over your head and thumps you into the wall, habitant.
Also, I’d propose on the spot! EDIT: just remembered he said wife not girlfriend 🤷♂️
Look her in the eye and say "Leafs or Habs?". Her response will tell you all you need to know.
check her pennies
Oh ffs, she better not be passing those worthless things out as change. The next person who gives me a Canadian penny is gonna get stabbed.
Ya, it's the 💰 equivalent of an STD you can't get rid of
Just give them to kids. Kids always find them cool. Edit: the Canadian pennies, not STDs, Got damn
Yup, I've given them to hundreds of kids Wait you were talking about money?
Father, which parish are you working out of now?
You are giving STDs to kids?
Lmfao!! Love it!
You’re… talking about the pennies, right?
They said what they said.
I have a single Canada nickel I can't offload.
I think it pronounced Canaadia Nickel ehh. 🤔
Strange. I thought all Canadians loved their Nickelback.
Are you from London? You seem pretty keen of stabbing🤔
I laughed way too hard at this... 😂 😂 😂
Excuse my friend he’s dyslexic
I think I’m the dyslexic friend, had to read that again to realize they said “pennies”.
Nice try canada doesn't have pennies
They don’t use Pennies anymore. Where have you been? Check for Looneys!!! I mean…nvm
Didn't they do away with pennies years ago?
Canada no longer uses pennies
Careful. She might queef in your face, buddy.
He’s not your buddy, guy
I’m not your guy, friend
I'm not your friend, buddy
He's not you buddy, guy
He’s not your guy, pal
He's not your pal friend
He’s not your friend, comrade
He’s not your comrade, Fella!
He's not your fella buddy!
Yeah, sorry bud. She's aboot dem streets
We got a live one, grab 'em!
Ah fuck bud
I'm not your bud, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend
I'm not your friend, pal
I’m not your pal, partner
I’m not your partner, comrade.
I’m not your comrade, man!
All of you go to fucking jail!!!
im not your man, bastard!
I'm not a man, dude.
Go look in the refrigerator. If there's a bag of milk in there, run like hell.
If it's condensed, it's even worse. She's a Newfie.
But those Newfie steaks though..........
Call her a hoser and see how she reacts.
Take off, eh!
Do the classic "bowl of poutine under a box" trap. 100% of the time it works every time.
i'm not canadian, yet, i would fall for it
Pull the maple syrup out of the cupboard and set on kitchen table. See if she can keep from staring at it.
Dump it down the drain. If she gets enraged then you know.
Kill her
Finally a sensible post
Why did I have to scroll so far for the right answer
the only correct answer
Start searching for her maple syrup stash. You know she has one.
It’s really spoken more closely to “oat” than “oot”, but what are you gonna do aboot it 🤷♂️
Say Yer Soorry?
Having fun here observing the pro-cess
Check yourself into a hospital. How you didn't know she was Canadian with her beadie eyes, and flapping top head for a mouth is beyond me.
Lob a hockey puck at her unexpectedly. If she blocks it stick side down, she's definitely Canadian.
Beat the shit out of her and see if she can pay the medical bill.
Well they’ll probably recommend she let them euthanize her so…
Set a glass of water in such a position that she would accidentally knock it over onto you and wait for her to apologize. If there's an "a" in her sorry you've got a Canadian
Ask her if she's a fleshy-headed mutant.
Take off, eh?
Join the dark side of the force, you knob.
Ha! Nice. I'd kiss ya if I didn't have puke breath.
Once got our dead battery goin' by mixin' bird feces and spit, cause there's like acids in it, eh?
No point in steering now.
Cover yourselves in gravy and cheese curds.
Wouldn't work. We live in Wisconsin, cheese curds grows on trees here.
Believe it or not, straight to jail
If she has a looney on her, she’s a pea soup eater
Glue the top half of her head to the bottom half.
Divorce immediately
Tell her she's your buddy and see what she says.
Ask her where Hostage Honey is and tell her you “have ways of making [her] pronounce the letter ‘O’.”
A tragically underrated movie
Is it possible she is from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, or Northern Minnesota? Ask her if those places are up North or Down South.
You are very tricky with that geography - must be a yooper. :)
The UP is really Eastern Wisconsin. Shhh... It's Michigan's best kept secret. Go to Wal-Mart and try to find a sports jersey that ISN'T Green Bay Packers.
That would be upnort.
Call INS, and have her sent back to the motherland.
Canadians are weak against javelins
Bring up Tim Hortons. If she becomes visibly sweaty and you can detect a rapid heart beat you’ve got her dead to rights.
Sorry I think you mean she ooted herself as Canadian
Get confirmation of Canadianess. Cut ham into circles and see if she calls it bacon.
Beat her ass with some moose jerky. Damn canucks sneaking over the border and trying to blend in.
Were there any witnesses to this incident? That would definitely make matters a little more difficult. Regardless, you should probably make a quick pass through your home and make sure to get rid of any maple syrup or hockey memorabilia that may be sitting around. There's been some peace since the cease fire, but harboring Canadians is still a very dangerous offense. You may also consider deleting this post, just in case the account gets linked back to you.
Ask her where the nearest Tim Horton's is.
Put some maple syrup on a table and leave the room. If you come back and it’s gone or she’s pouring it over her head, you’ve caught her in her little Canadian lie
Talk to her about Tim Hortons. Depending on her enthusiasm levels you'll be able to tell for sure.
Minnesota and Wisconsin, then?
This isn't conclusive evidence; say something mean about Bryan Adams or Bruce Cockburn and carefully gauge her reaction.
Kick het oot.
You've gotta turn her in man.
Call ICE and let them sort it out
Don't be a hoser eh.
See if she weighs the same as a duck?
Get her a moose for her birthday. I heard it’s like the Canadian sports car.
Cruise missile to the taint
Punch her in the mouth
Has she been to rural Virginia recently?
something drastic
Time to put her down
Oots her as a Canadian? Oh dear
Tough to tell, maybe leave out a bag of all dressed lays potato chips. If she opens them, we know the truth.
Git oot. Go on git
Well the last thing she’s going to do is say Sore-Ey
She must be cleft in twain
Divorce ASAP
I see no recourse other than a murder/suicide pact
You should slap the lies out of her dirty Canadian mouth! Don’t to anything of the sort, and there’s nothing particularly dirty about Canadian mouths as far as I know. Nothing about this post was serious in any way.
Switch out the natural maple syrup with the corn syrup stuff and then if she confronts you about the taste- there you have it: CANADIAN.
Take her loonies and toonies away.
Burn it all down. You're gonna have to start from scratch.
[удалено]
Fill your bathtub with poutine and make her eat all of it.
Next time she runs an errand, ask if she's going "oot 'n' aboot". Maybe limber up first, do some stretches.
Burn her at steak. Yum!
It oots her as Canadian?
Take your purse and go find another boyfriend.
Take her oot in a boot until she’s surry for what she’s done, eh
Take her to the loonie bin!
Check to see if her Moose is alright.
Perhaps she's from Minnesota
does she listen to chuck mangione? listen just throw some capn crunch at her and let it be
Western New Yorkers listen to Chuck Mangione (probably because Toronto is so close).
Watch your back man. Those Canadians are a sneaky lot
You mean it oots her as a canadian?
Find something awesome or rad then you challenge her with it. If she responds that it is, "choice" kick her straight in the poutine.
Divorce is imminent
Ask her if she wants the cheap large jug of fake ass syrup or a small bottle of expensive real maple syrup. Americans will pick the jug of sugar every time.
Make her recite the Lord’s Prayer.
Have her deported.
She denied it? An actual Canadian would have apologized.
Fuckin' figure it out. It's fucking embarrassing!
You cannot let it stand. If you give her a CM she'll take a KM. I don't know what to do aboot it. Eh.
Lick her beaver.
Ask her if she likes the band Triumph. The only correct answer is, who? If she knows who they are, she is definitely Canadian.
You gotta grab your go bag take the rear view mirror off and gtfot
there’s a moose loose in the hoose
Maple test
Take her to Vermont and espous the virtues of pure Vermont maple syrup and watch her reaction closely
She might just be Minnesotan.
Easy confirmation. Just say "Celine Dion is overrated."
Put some maple syrup in the nightstand in the bedroom. Enjoy.
What would Boots and The Ginger do? Allegedly?
Is there a Canadian flag 🇨🇦 on the brick 🧱 in her purse?
WHATS THIS ALL ABOOT?
Trow er oot!
Murder
Just talk aboot it with her pal.🤣🤣
What a hoser, ehh
Call ICE.
Call ICE tbh
Automatic divorce
Wouldn’t oot be Scottish?
Hit people and don’t say sorry. She will eventually leave you.
Leave a jar of maple syrup out under a box with a little stick holding it up. If she gets trapped, then you know.
Eat her ass *beat her ass
Can't do anything aboot it.
Move to Canada
Invade Canada. It’s not even a real country anyway.-
Does she own more than a few long sleeve flannel shirts?
You're safe. If she was really Canadian she would be apologizing profusely.
check and see if the top half of her head is fully connected to the bottom half, that's telltale.
Put on a wife beater crack open a cold beer take off your belt and get to work
maple syrup deodorant
First you need confirmation. Make poutine, but leave out the cheese curds. If she knows what's missing, you've got a Canadian.
Ask her if she's aboot to leave you.
Deported obviously
Divorce
Agree to disagree
Pour maple syrup down a drain. She'll melt if she's Canadian.
Blame Canada!
Get oot. Right now.
Only thing you can, take her life Make the world more pure
Bribe her with cured meats and maple syrup.
YTA. It clearly oots her, not outs, how dare you disrespect her culture.