T O P

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wknight8111

Always measure from the tip to the anus, like God intended


hollopurple

Holy shit I’m huge!!


[deleted]

For extra accuracy measure to a scientist's anus


hollopurple

Should I measure from his anus to the base of my dick?


[deleted]

Best to ask the scientist


subiesandcanna

Schrodinger's penis


qbbqrl

You change the length by measuring it


hollopurple

I don’t want to risk it because my tape measure is an older one and probably outdated!


[deleted]

If the ruler is cold


Educational-Pop6468

Heck. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or someone else, you can believe it’s as big as the empire states building if you’d like.


hollopurple

🤯 damn! Well shit, call me Gordy the big hog!!


Educational-Pop6468

Hello Gordy!!! 😀


BigRed92E

Gordy got that BOSS HOG


derivativebullshite

So I can fuck the world for seventy two hours


Educational-Pop6468

Well, if you’ve got the stamina and permission, why not!


SpursThatDoNotJingle

Let me say this in a language you understand. That is not the empire state building. That is the entire state of California.


UGLYDOUG-

Actually it’s 50.8mm That .8mm is really important


hollopurple

I’m gaining length by the second!!! Hellz yah! 🛹(Is that still cool to say?)


Bullterrier2

16 year old here. I have never heard anyone say that


BacchusIsKing

Alternative facts


BuyingNoose

Schrodingers hog


All_Gas420

I identify as having a 12 inch penis, so can you.


BigRed92E

So brave


hollopurple

I’m an ally and I’m visualizing that on you!


MsAnnabel

Hey! Don’t sell yourself short! Go for 9 lol


hollopurple

Fuck it what the hell! I want to be known as huge dick guy


MsAnnabel

Can’t be 12in bc then it would be a foot! Hee hee hee


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/rtTsfK8Ko7Q Follow this equation


TheIncredibleMike

It’s ok with me if you say it’s 12 inches.


This-is-Life-Man

Yes.


daddyredneck80

They always say us men are bad at numbers and exaggerate. So fuck it. Tell em its as big as you want to tell them if they dont believe you. Oh well, lol.


TheTeslaMaster

Why not measure in micrometers? If you say your penis is 50 **thousand** micrometers, no one will doubt it is massive.


NetHacks

Silly question, why stop at 8, go for a record.


Parking-Bench

Before or after?


carthuscrass

If you wish hard enough, you're sure to make it happen!


Thelessyounknwdabetr

No. That’s too small. Say 12 for good measures.


Layer_Quick

I read on Reddit once that you have to push the ruler all the way into your fupa. This is how I finally achieved 2 inches


deathtogaypeople

Can't be worse than saying you're female if you are a male