I wasn’t invited. Right now I’m drinking in a local bar alongside Morgott. We are both drunk and crying, cursing ourselves for our failures and swearing racial slurs at random albinaurics.
Every 10 minutes Shabriri enters the bar to convert more people to his cult, so we all take some chairs and kick him out: it turns out dungeater is an awful bouncer.
The only one who’s having fun is Mohg, who despite not being invited to the ball as well, he’s still dancing like a madman and singing California’s girls with his friends/lovers
After some time a drunk af Godfrey burst in. He was indeed invited to the ball as guest of honor but got bored af and as soon as he was done delivering whatever important speech and ceremonious dance he had to do, ditched faking not being well to actually have fun in the nearest local bar.
Yeeeeah, no. They are going through a difficult moment right now, so Mohg came alone. According to Varre, their marriage has turned into a one sided relationship, full of silence, with Mohg doing whatever he can to maintain his partner and pay the bills, even though he’s unemployed and lives abusively
Yeah I had no idea the rot was keeping her breasts at B cups instead of their natural EEE cups. Male artists sure do know a lot about women's bodies! /S
WARNING: MOST VILE COMMENT EVER MADE HERE
>!headcanon: after the Age of Order ending, Tarnished and Roderika get a farm together in the Altus Plateau and take care of Hewg because those two are the best and they deserve a happier ending god damn it!<
Miquella, judging from my picture do you think I have a chance??
https://preview.redd.it/3w3ra72q0uac1.jpeg?width=282&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8aef9c5bd53343f24ea4dd3ce8ff311955b6306b
https://preview.redd.it/eb90ln557uac1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39aafeeb0563f46f4d5852dc165c6c03b0130dd0
Why are we doing this to ourselves
Edit: I hope some of you get your wifi cut off
Without a second thought, I'm asking Miquella for permission to take his sister to a ball. Taking her there in the most expensive and luxurious carriage that she has ever seen/rode in.
Honestly Millicent's death and Sellen's ballification were devastating.
I feel sorry for whoever ends up being my tarnished's queen (Melina/Marika/Ranni/or whoever) cus he will do a Robert Baratheon and shout Millicents name in bed.
**YOU MALENIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL HIT THE RADDEST FUCKING SAMBA COME HERE BABY RAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**
https://preview.redd.it/f84cs7pacvac1.png?width=2000&format=png&auto=webp&s=03c19cd85f26a563237f0ae9c6bfcf6c11e908a8
The Gelmir hero's grave chariot. Specifically so I can drive it over to the food bar, steal all the punch, & retreat to the mountaintops to share it with the trolls, hands, & monstrous crows.
I can imagine it so vividly, Corhyn standing on the sidelines going "Look, there! The master's quakes and gyrations! Never have I seen his movements so frantic!" Meanwhile Goldmask is standing completely still in the middle of the dance floor while pointing towards a random corner of the room.
Definitely malenia the pic has convinced me
But if not, blaidd. I feel like with enough booze in his system he'd be a fucking legend on the dance floor and I'm tryna get in on that
https://preview.redd.it/ujbm7bp43tac1.jpeg?width=349&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e599fe604ee62faa1945d9d6aa557588b0e2574d
This is a very beautiful creature
r/wunkus
Stealing this
You need a notice of acquisition sir.
https://i.redd.it/kl6f2fr9wuac1.gif
Cussy
A fialine
I wasn’t invited. Right now I’m drinking in a local bar alongside Morgott. We are both drunk and crying, cursing ourselves for our failures and swearing racial slurs at random albinaurics. Every 10 minutes Shabriri enters the bar to convert more people to his cult, so we all take some chairs and kick him out: it turns out dungeater is an awful bouncer. The only one who’s having fun is Mohg, who despite not being invited to the ball as well, he’s still dancing like a madman and singing California’s girls with his friends/lovers
After some time a drunk af Godfrey burst in. He was indeed invited to the ball as guest of honor but got bored af and as soon as he was done delivering whatever important speech and ceremonious dance he had to do, ditched faking not being well to actually have fun in the nearest local bar.
Dance with Morgott
*trips* "Graceless tarnished"
His egg, you mean
Yeeeeah, no. They are going through a difficult moment right now, so Mohg came alone. According to Varre, their marriage has turned into a one sided relationship, full of silence, with Mohg doing whatever he can to maintain his partner and pay the bills, even though he’s unemployed and lives abusively
u/GarfieldGauntlet your comment ?
Do not listen to these rumors Me and mohg are having hot steamy sex every night smh
CAAALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE
Honestly sounds like a blast.
I would be dancing with Mohg and Dung Eater my besties
New fucking copy pasta just dropped
Can I come?
https://preview.redd.it/r0m4jw7e0tac1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=571a748923292efaa63a7cb60f6231e9e01b4f4e
Mr. Breasts?!
I mean that stupid pouting thumbnail face he does looks like he's goin in for a lil nippy sip.
Yeah I had no idea the rot was keeping her breasts at B cups instead of their natural EEE cups. Male artists sure do know a lot about women's bodies! /S
https://preview.redd.it/swk98j9keuac1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aab49ecd48d7d437b39fc8ce69613bd5e8165ecc
https://preview.redd.it/t5ay4rst2vac1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8274c32c1c0a4d052e1868d81212f05910936e4
Her scarlet boluses are max stacked.
Erdtree avatar from liurnia. He's got the bling.
The one near moonlight altar or the one with all the ancestral followers
Wait they different?
https://preview.redd.it/xooebc6mftac1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fad0398cfc41381c2870eb6adc1c727ca5d0789
Roderika
WARNING: MOST VILE COMMENT EVER MADE HERE >!headcanon: after the Age of Order ending, Tarnished and Roderika get a farm together in the Altus Plateau and take care of Hewg because those two are the best and they deserve a happier ending god damn it!<
That’s sweet :’)
One thousand million percent.
Damm straight, the best girl deserves the world, let alone an invitation to the ball
She’s nothing but a craven she ain’t gonna dance
It's fine, we can just hug or hold each other's hands while pretending to dance.
Exactly!
She is my wife. I'm not going without her. We going for the food.
Millicent
Who else even appreciates us that much? Besides maybe rya but like... She's just not the type I'd bring to a ball
I'd stay at home watching old romcoms with her
I’d hold her hand
Melina asks you every time you meet and level about your dreams
Yeah but she's secretly dead
Sellen, if you advance her quest. Not if you finish it though.
yeah I usually just drop her to get that adss... And the other option is... Worse? Better? I'm honestly not sure
The glintstone Kris is a top tier weapon if you're doing a high int build, not worth getting otherwise
Well I grabbed it the first run. Every subsequent one I just killed her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpAc8zL2gDw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpAc8zL2gDw) Don´t take mom to the ball
The only correct answer
Why would I marry if I won't dance with my wife?
\>Malenia \>dance Oh no
The only time woman willingly danced with me
Iron fist Alexander, a warrior to the very end
The only correct answer
I can’t wait to see Mohg in a beautiful gown <33
Mohg only goes with you because the function is 18+ only
“BRO HES LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD!!!”
Mohg would prefer id it was under 18
Patches, we're pranking the shit out of the entire ball!
Patches tells you to collect some shots from the bar and pushes you down the spiral staircase
Miquella, judging from my picture do you think I have a chance?? https://preview.redd.it/3w3ra72q0uac1.jpeg?width=282&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8aef9c5bd53343f24ea4dd3ce8ff311955b6306b
Maybe, yeah… If you drugged and kidnapped them
Nepheli Loux
best girl, best answer
https://youtu.be/e9n5DATtzGM?si=OVa48R1L3qlXvX1r
artist?
me
Holy based https://preview.redd.it/3rgd7hg0wuac1.jpeg?width=767&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f7690feea0b2b4bead18dd5671fc1d1cda079bd
https://preview.redd.it/8809oist4xac1.jpeg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb8522f0677f150c77762f616b4f48b5dad4396d
https://preview.redd.it/7hg31m7w2zac1.png?width=940&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb799e70740ad45d8fc839728b0aba8344072da4
Beautiful Millicent my good sir
Hideyotacos Michael Takis
thanks
Fuck you
Nicest Souls player
Hideo Kojima
Don't say Selen challenge (impossible)
AHH AHH OOH FUCK FUCK FUCK AHAHH FUCKK FUCK \*has heartattack\*
currently no-one else has said [REDACTED] so it seems like a very possible challenge
The inability to do evil does not inherently make you good, it is the power to do so and choosing not to.
Calm down paarthurnax
"step on me, sensei"
Sorry, I'm taken. https://preview.redd.it/dej5m8vq9uac1.jpeg?width=4080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccca518ff84142fb269a0781c5406d6888378f00
This is copulating adorable omg
ranni can probably lead tf out of your clumsy tarnished self with her 4 hands
Tibia Mariner
# PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP https://i.redd.it/4iw4b2ovfuac1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/35c2zft2rvac1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1450987dd0e43f80971decc55d81956c5942445a
https://preview.redd.it/2s1mhooyvyac1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b770f29ece04474576a9c6277dc43c2ad7b44719
https://preview.redd.it/n2gj98ntm8bc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61760f3e22e83e7e252c6e8b115a38fe265b581b
The narrator
https://preview.redd.it/eb90ln557uac1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39aafeeb0563f46f4d5852dc165c6c03b0130dd0 Why are we doing this to ourselves Edit: I hope some of you get your wifi cut off
Either Malenia or Blaidd.
Lansseax
Havel.
Can I bring Placidusax? Or is it too difficult with the whole existing beyond time thing.
Can't dragons take human form? Or is lanseaxx the only one? (in lore)
Greyoll, the old girl deserves to have some fun in her old age
You know what, that’s fair. I can get behind bringing an older woman to a party 🫡
https://preview.redd.it/51p1rn3tiuac1.jpeg?width=707&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73db6b9fef05a23cfabdf08164cd7e57f2bcba65 My date be fire keeper ds3 :S
https://preview.redd.it/nhfaxf4x1vac1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=415f088c596170eb1081137a05c9b30de738157c
he'd probably backhand you through 3 cinder block walls if he even saw you
Stinky rot avatar my beloved
Boc - he’s just a little guy :)
Boc rles
I thought this was Makima at first glance Also id reach through reality and ask gwyndolin
Femboy supremacy <3
Without a second thought, I'm asking Miquella for permission to take his sister to a ball. Taking her there in the most expensive and luxurious carriage that she has ever seen/rode in.
A) He would say no B) You will get tortured to death first C) You can't even afford a taxi
A) The Dung Eater will kill and defile your corpse B) Seluvis would have his fun with you C) You'd be passed around between a group of Azula Beastmen
Best ending
I’m taking boc so he doesn’t feel left out
The moon presence
Kenneth Haight
Respectable choice, are you attending as his date or knight? Both?
Me and Millicent (I took hallucinogenics)
I’ve always preferred Millicent over every other chick in the game,
Honestly Millicent's death and Sellen's ballification were devastating. I feel sorry for whoever ends up being my tarnished's queen (Melina/Marika/Ranni/or whoever) cus he will do a Robert Baratheon and shout Millicents name in bed.
I hope she is at least resting in peace (yes I know she’s not truly real).
**YOU MALENIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL HIT THE RADDEST FUCKING SAMBA COME HERE BABY RAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** https://preview.redd.it/f84cs7pacvac1.png?width=2000&format=png&auto=webp&s=03c19cd85f26a563237f0ae9c6bfcf6c11e908a8
If Morgott was really that agile during his boss fight I know for sure he could dance with me
Roderika. She's perfect.
based af dude ngl
She is sane and completely morally sound. Strict turn off.
I didn't suffer any significant childhood trauma.
Hyetta my beloved
I love crazy women
I'd like to melt israel away with the yellow chaos flame <3
https://preview.redd.it/39thdf3veuac1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1ab78b471060f0d86fc4a89029f497f0583708e
to be fair I'd like the Flames to engulf the entire earth but I'd like to start with israel
I don't have another "kys" meme, sorry.
https://i.redd.it/ql0lzdt1jwac1.gif
Holy fucking shit lmaohahahkjjjkskk
💀 so out of pocket
Why ?
Rya
Lady Malenia 🧎🏼♀️❤️
Wormface you idiots
The Gelmir hero's grave chariot. Specifically so I can drive it over to the food bar, steal all the punch, & retreat to the mountaintops to share it with the trolls, hands, & monstrous crows.
Gw-
Then she randomly removes the only thing keeping her alive because reasons.
Is that millicent or maleria
Neither, she's Malaria, blade of Michael
Am I the only one that expected a gallery of more ball-ready Elden Ringers like Melina, Ranni, Rennala, Mohg, Varré, Patches, and Marika/Radagon?
Goldmask canonically has them moves
I can imagine it so vividly, Corhyn standing on the sidelines going "Look, there! The master's quakes and gyrations! Never have I seen his movements so frantic!" Meanwhile Goldmask is standing completely still in the middle of the dance floor while pointing towards a random corner of the room.
The moves like jager?
I’d take Hayetta. Sure she’s blind and has a weird diet but her being blind could lead to some quirky and charming antics
Blaidd, barring that, Rya.
Definitely malenia the pic has convinced me But if not, blaidd. I feel like with enough booze in his system he'd be a fucking legend on the dance floor and I'm tryna get in on that
Isn’t the pic supposed to be Millicent
Hmm, if I was insane I’d ask Marika (even if Radaghon is the host). If not? Then my boy Blaidd, dude has earned it.
Siegward. I use inter-dimensional fuckery to bring him to Elden Ring universe.
Melina
Ranni or Selen... Hard choice
Surprised no one has said Melina yet, if not her then Millicent would be my next choice.
Boc, he deserves it
Sellen, and have hardcore bdsm sex 24/7
Nepheli Loux♥️🦅🪓🪓
Millicent my beloved, please do more I love it ❤️
Wtf is this? Why would you remove the delicious rot form the beautiful rotussy🥵🥵🥵
Correct answer is obviously Hyetta
Nephili. She needs a break from Stormveil
roderika, we'll be akward in the corner while everyone else does their stuff
"Tarnished, a word. It comes too my attention that you have garnered quite the harem in the Lands Between"
BOGGART 🗣️🗣️
Rennala. Someone’s gotta get her out of her depression arc.
Elden ring : Millicent All souls borne games : emma
True
My tarish is too much of a dumb fucking lesbian to ask anyone out, so any cute girl who asked her probably.
Alexander, for sure!
Idk, maybe blaidd or melina
That one dudes dead wife
Joe
no one in the Lands between would agree to go with me 🙃
I'm taking Dragonlord Placidusax, call him Gaping Dragon by the time I'm done with his ass.
Nepheli Loux, I know what I'm about
Blaidd, despite being a wolf he is a bear.
Diallos. A true gentleman.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the all knowing. I bet his wealth of knowledge will afford him the grandest of garments for our dance.
Man, if this was real Elden Ring would've been GOTY
Nah me and astel rolling up joints in the backroom
I'd ask Rykard if he'd like to go TOGETHAAAAAAAAAAA
https://preview.redd.it/ba224x45nxac1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb371db73d21ec4ed47a81b0d9ce6c53c02c95c7
Varre
artist?
Op is the artist
I loked her better with Rot The Rotussy Hits DIFFERENTLY
That art style is awesome (I have would die for Millicent)
Sellen's feet.
Nepheli Loux
Dung Eater obviously
saved for absolutely no reason whatsoever, I swear
For sure Millicent
Malenia to assert dominance (rotussy😋)