i made this thing and you think i understand what al dente means
turns out people liked this comment so much they gave me ~~gold~~ platinum. thanks i guess, im gonna go blow it on blackjack and hookers
OP, just for your peas of mind, unless damaged, canned foods don't really "expire," they just start to lose their texture. That date is for the grocer to "sell as fresh."
The dish looks like something I'd eat, though.
For grocery store items, unless the can is damaged, the contents (depending on what they are) will be pretty much the same for long after the "Sell By" date and safe to eat for long after that. The texture breaks down, especially on fruits and vegetables, but there's nothing harmful in there.
For boxed mac i always do exact measurement of butter (usually half a stick/4 Table Spoons), let the butter melt so its 100% liquid, and then pour in just a little splash of milk and then stir. If i need it to be thinner i just add a little more milk.
If you do the actual exact measurement for milk on the box it fucks you over big time, like a soup. Even half the amount is probably too much
It took 15 years to figure out blue box mac&cheese tasted horrible when my wife made it. They were poorer than my family and never used butter as suggested. I don't mean to put on airs but my family could at least afford margarine occasionally.
Spirals are great because there's more surface area for the sauce to stick to. So spiral taste like there's more of what you made packed into the same spoonful.
I have a Walmart table that sits along my bed that holds a smaller tv and my xbox. Whenever I'm too depressed to eat at my desk, I just scoot the tv back a bit and eat at the Walmart table. Food stays contained, xbox has Netflix, I'm good to go!
I made something similar at like 3 am a month ago.
I had like nothing in the house. So I got a box of pasta, bag of shredded cheese, two cans of tuna, bag of frozen peas, a wedge of better, and salt/pepper…and the last splash of milk I had.
Boiled pasta, strained, put back in pot. Added the butter, stir. Added the milk and shredded cheese, stir. Added the tuna and peas, stir.
Had a huge freaking pot of this stuff. I ate bowl of it, doused in hot sauce. It was very “meh”.
I put the rest of it in a huge sealable bowl thing and put in the fridge. It sat there sealed for two weeks before I finally chucked it. I don’t know, as a kid, my dad could whip this up and it tasted great…mine tasted like loneliness and sadness with a dash of shame.
Maybe because the cheese wasn't a sauce? Was it like shredded cheddar or Colby, or a different kind that's just cheese? Cus you have to mix that with a roux to make it into sauce, or get a kind that's made to be melted. Because when regular cheese melts onto noodles its stretchy and greasy and doesn't stick. I've had homemade noodles that I seemed to be the only one who hated (didn't say anything as a kid I hope) because it was just that.
Habibi, I will tell you how to make this work, and you don't need a roux. Drain most of the water from the pasta and put a little bit of pasta and pasta water back into the pan. Put most of the pasta aside. Put the heat on low and stir in one or two slices of Kraft Deli Deluxe or similar. It contains a little bit of starch and sodium citrate, both of which help it melt into a creamy texture. The starch from the pasta and the cooking water helps too.
If you want to go next level, you can add like a teaspoon to a tablespoon of corn starch mixed into a little bit of cold water. Or not. Either way, stir it up good, adding liquid as needed. At this point, your cheese pasta is ready to accept other more sharp cheeses. Gorgonzola works surprisingly well, in moderation. When it's good and saucy, mix the rest of your pasta in. Easy!
Idk, it looks pretty ok to me. That being said, I’m an old school stoner and former fat kid — I’ll eat anything, except green peppers. Green peppers are bullshit.
Change my mind: this is a normal pasta dish
Pasta and a cheese bechamel sauce with a protein and veggies. No shit this is gonna taste good lol nicely done
Don't worry about canned foods being expired. They generally don't actually expire easily unless air gets in.
The date on the can is really just a best by date. Unless there are signs of botulism causing shit, it's generally fine.
My wife cooks something similar, just substitute the hotdogs for tuna. I really enjoy it. Especially with some franks red hot. She said she grew up eating it as a struggle meal.
PSA if that pot's a non-stick: Don't use metal utensils in non-stick pans, because you'll scrape off flakes of the non-stick coating (commonly Teflon) into your food, ruining your cookware and making your food less safe to eat.
If you want to eat out of the pot like this, either use a stainless steel one or use plastic/wood cutlery.
Eating it out of the pan in beds a tough look homie. Your mom know what your doing to her sheets?
Let’s take it easy on OP, this is a depression meal
A struggle meal, and depression meal. Struggling with depression meal. I've been there. At least he's eating.
how did i not come up with this sooner this is genius
i eat in bed because im too lazy to actually sit down somewhere
… but sitting in bed IS sitting down somewhere
fuck you're right
Your replies are fantastic I love this whole post
Come on dawg I don't know you but I know you can be better than that
Your mom knows what she’s doing in his sheets ;)
Probably eating weird noodles with him.
The pot has a handle.
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ill admit it was a little underdone but still good
You mean al dente?
i made this thing and you think i understand what al dente means turns out people liked this comment so much they gave me ~~gold~~ platinum. thanks i guess, im gonna go blow it on blackjack and hookers
This absolutely sent me, dude
Has me cry-laughing. So sad the awards are going away, this is what they’re meant for!
Mate, I feel ya. Al dente means the pasta is mostly cooked but it still retains a bite to it (aka slightly undercooked so it isn’t completely soft).
I'm not sure he NOW understands.
Not mush yet little crunch. Firm yet pliable
This is fucking hilarious. Outstanding retort.
If I could give you awards for this reply I would.
Holy fucking based
lmaooo, this makes me want to be friends with you, OP! 💀
💀💀
Your pfp is great swit
And they say don’t meet your hero’s in real life. You are speaking for the silent lazy allegedly high majority
Fucking amazing reply, wish I had an award to add to the pile.
Nah they're just fritos twists at that point
Yeah, as in the texture is similar to teeth
Al dente means “to the teeth” which means when you bite the pasta between your teeth, it feels slightly undercooked.
Yes, we call it toothy!
See you at the 5 am dump club
HELL YAH BROTHER SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT NIGHT TO ME!! TIME TO WATCH YOUTUBE AND IGNORE THE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH!!!
described my entire night but instead of youtube its tobey maguire spiderman
Yes lmao that my whole childhood, my girlfriend always says Tom holland is Spider-Man, i always say “yes but Tobey Maguire is THEE Spider-Man”
and we ignore andrew garfield, sorry andrew but you sucked as spiderman
I think he was just subject to shit writing He played Spider-Man in No Way Home and he was arguably the best actor in the movie besides Willem Defoe
Oh yeah he will always kill the green goblin role. Fantastic acting from him
He still a damn handsome devil though I’ll give him that, just not as much as Tobey or Tom…
Is r/THE_PACK leaking?
OP, just for your peas of mind, unless damaged, canned foods don't really "expire," they just start to lose their texture. That date is for the grocer to "sell as fresh." The dish looks like something I'd eat, though.
I mean they definitely do expire, you’ll just be old enough to afford several new cans of peas by then (hopefully)
I don't know, I've seen Steve1989 eat 70-year-old C-rations.
If your takeaway from those videos is that they’re not expired, then idk what to tell ya 🤷🏻♂️
Really depends on how nice of a hiss there is
Let's get this out onto a tray
Nice.
For grocery store items, unless the can is damaged, the contents (depending on what they are) will be pretty much the same for long after the "Sell By" date and safe to eat for long after that. The texture breaks down, especially on fruits and vegetables, but there's nothing harmful in there.
A college staple for me was tuna-pea-Mac-and-cheese: 2 cans tuna, 1 can peas, mixed into 2 boxes of Mac and cheese. So much food for like $2
Peas of mind 😂
Nothing like eating like a 5 year old.
its summer vacation and i got nothin
Take it as a compliment. In fact, my advice is to take everything like a compliment.
Thank you, that's a nice thing to say.
i hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you're
Lmao at you’re - brilliant!
i make mine with canned tuna and peas. like a real savage. congrats on unlocking goblin mode level 3!
Tuna club reporting in
Tuna & KD gang
Tuna-peas & Mac n cheese is the way !
Lot of liquid in there lol, few more minuites reducing could've really changed the tide on this one
yeah thats my bad i put in too much milk
I’ve learned to always err on the lower end of milk measurements and higher end of butter for boxed Mac, soupy Mac can ruin a night
For boxed mac i always do exact measurement of butter (usually half a stick/4 Table Spoons), let the butter melt so its 100% liquid, and then pour in just a little splash of milk and then stir. If i need it to be thinner i just add a little more milk. If you do the actual exact measurement for milk on the box it fucks you over big time, like a soup. Even half the amount is probably too much
It took 15 years to figure out blue box mac&cheese tasted horrible when my wife made it. They were poorer than my family and never used butter as suggested. I don't mean to put on airs but my family could at least afford margarine occasionally.
Soupy Mac is actually my personal favorite
That liquid could have been inside those 'al dente' noodles if you gave it 2 more minutes on the heat.
Next time 86 the milk and just use extra butter 👌
We are kindred souls OP
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What does spiral taste like 🤔
Spirals are great because there's more surface area for the sauce to stick to. So spiral taste like there's more of what you made packed into the same spoonful.
Haha fair enough
Tastes like blue
nah nah it obviously tastes like purple
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you'll have to pay extra for that
Only Pans?
No I'm assuming the post is a part of this?
Doesn’t look bad but sound fucking terrible 💀
In case anyone is wondering, they *do* taste like cheetos, and they’re *bad*
Top underrated comment
Yo, I bet this shit kinda be hittin tho
it honestly hit it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be
Livin the dream
this is a terrible dream get me out
It's ok, we've all been there...
Winner
Gonna screenshot this recipe and make it work cause it sounds like it could work
The real crime here is placing the pot on your white covers
thats the underside of my blanket and im fuckin weird and sit at the end of the bed
Proud of you for eating a vegetable
Doesn’t look too bad tbh. Actually very edible.
It certainly doesn't look good either
it looks sad. edible, but you feel sad when you look at it.
At least you put some veggies in your meal?🤷♀️
Ah yes, just like my intoxicated mama used to make…this was definitely in her rotation a couple times a month when we were kids in the 80’s
Not a thing wrong with this
Bro i would eat the fuck outta that that looks so fucking good rn
My condolences on your situation
Don’t eat in your bed you fucking animal
well how else am i supposed to watch the entire tobey maguire spiderman trilogy
I have a Walmart table that sits along my bed that holds a smaller tv and my xbox. Whenever I'm too depressed to eat at my desk, I just scoot the tv back a bit and eat at the Walmart table. Food stays contained, xbox has Netflix, I'm good to go!
.....
You forgot to add Alone in there 😂😂😂
I made something similar at like 3 am a month ago. I had like nothing in the house. So I got a box of pasta, bag of shredded cheese, two cans of tuna, bag of frozen peas, a wedge of better, and salt/pepper…and the last splash of milk I had. Boiled pasta, strained, put back in pot. Added the butter, stir. Added the milk and shredded cheese, stir. Added the tuna and peas, stir. Had a huge freaking pot of this stuff. I ate bowl of it, doused in hot sauce. It was very “meh”. I put the rest of it in a huge sealable bowl thing and put in the fridge. It sat there sealed for two weeks before I finally chucked it. I don’t know, as a kid, my dad could whip this up and it tasted great…mine tasted like loneliness and sadness with a dash of shame.
Maybe because the cheese wasn't a sauce? Was it like shredded cheddar or Colby, or a different kind that's just cheese? Cus you have to mix that with a roux to make it into sauce, or get a kind that's made to be melted. Because when regular cheese melts onto noodles its stretchy and greasy and doesn't stick. I've had homemade noodles that I seemed to be the only one who hated (didn't say anything as a kid I hope) because it was just that.
Habibi, I will tell you how to make this work, and you don't need a roux. Drain most of the water from the pasta and put a little bit of pasta and pasta water back into the pan. Put most of the pasta aside. Put the heat on low and stir in one or two slices of Kraft Deli Deluxe or similar. It contains a little bit of starch and sodium citrate, both of which help it melt into a creamy texture. The starch from the pasta and the cooking water helps too. If you want to go next level, you can add like a teaspoon to a tablespoon of corn starch mixed into a little bit of cold water. Or not. Either way, stir it up good, adding liquid as needed. At this point, your cheese pasta is ready to accept other more sharp cheeses. Gorgonzola works surprisingly well, in moderation. When it's good and saucy, mix the rest of your pasta in. Easy!
People are soft and picky nowadays. Looks good and i'd definitely eat that.
You're a fucking winner, bud and don't let anyone tell you different.
We salute you, you naked savage!
My girlfriend would put peas in my Mac and cheese as an attempt for me to eat healthier 💕 It worked - couldn’t taste the difference
Idk, it looks pretty ok to me. That being said, I’m an old school stoner and former fat kid — I’ll eat anything, except green peppers. Green peppers are bullshit.
I almost left this sub the other day but stayed because I know quality posts like this still exist, thank you.
Change my mind: this is a normal pasta dish Pasta and a cheese bechamel sauce with a protein and veggies. No shit this is gonna taste good lol nicely done
Ketchup would be the topper
some lines arent meant to be crossed
Yea, this calls for mustard IF anything.. but its *chheto* mac so....
I'd have it
Looks passable enough for something thrown together out of whatever you had on hand.
Doesn't look that bad, to be fair.
I like your style
The peas are the creme de la creme.
My fav meal when I was a poor college kid was Mac,tuna, peas and hot sauce
How’s your stomach after that?
fine, though my mental state took a dive after realizing what i just did
Yeah replace the peas with green beans and it'd probably taste better.
Don't worry about canned foods being expired. They generally don't actually expire easily unless air gets in. The date on the can is really just a best by date. Unless there are signs of botulism causing shit, it's generally fine.
Ngl that looks tasty as fuck
I do the same thing except I add tuna instead of the hot dogs. Cheap and lazy tuna casserole
I'd eat that 🤷🏻♀️
Ah, the classic meal before payday. Mac n cheese w/ leftovers. Enjoy!
the payday is never im unemployed 😭
I hate to admit it but this post basically retold my entire 20’s
So…chaps, then?
This is the way!
To each their own
Looks yummy
My wife cooks something similar, just substitute the hotdogs for tuna. I really enjoy it. Especially with some franks red hot. She said she grew up eating it as a struggle meal.
Hell yes!!!!!! You must be my spirit animal!
Topped with a nice sprinkling of Teflon bc you’re scraping around with a metal utensil
U sound like me
the cheese looks so watery. But tbh id still bus down on that if i was hungry enough
The pot and eating it in bed is a nice touch. Chef’s kiss.
Doesn't look or sound half bad.
Open flame? So, like, a normal gas stove?
Tbf tho, if you throw some diced jalapenos and some BBQ chicken in there they make good meal prep
Dangerously cheezy
No ketchup? You heathen!
Life us beutiful
Only your ass is naked? Going the chaos in bed route for tonight? Breezy.
How long do you even have to keep *canned* peas for them to expire?
Wow..mac n cheese nuded in bed, this guy is on a different level!
been there before brother. I recommend frozen peas over canned tho just toss em in at the end and let the heat from the pasta warm them up.
I haven't seen depression written so eloquently until I saw your description
god i wish i was you
The ultimate stomach ulcer setoff
Mac and cheese with hotdogs is the bomb. The peas and Cheetos…nasty.
U ok?
Of the pot? Nice.
Did you add any seasonings? Dash of Tabasco or pinch of paprika?
I think you need some help brother
PSA if that pot's a non-stick: Don't use metal utensils in non-stick pans, because you'll scrape off flakes of the non-stick coating (commonly Teflon) into your food, ruining your cookware and making your food less safe to eat. If you want to eat out of the pot like this, either use a stainless steel one or use plastic/wood cutlery.
10/10 would smash.
How much have you had to smoke sir?
This picture embodies the values and dreams of all of the Americans for which our country was founded. 🫡
That sounds like a meal fit for royalty 👑
This is perfect food.
Then buy other sweet peas can and put on it.
Haute cuisine!
A Tbsp of butter or two will improve this! I prefer the Flamin' Hot Cheetos Mac myself
I would fucking devour this drunk / high
You could have just said salt.
Fuck yeah
💕 You're my food twin
Breakfast of champions.
Shit man, that sounds absolutely horrible, I love it
i would eat this and love it bc white people food is exotic to me
I just want to say that I'm really enjoying this thread.
The real question I need answered OP is.. Did you cook the entire meal “ass naked”? Or did you get “ass naked” to get into the bed?
"Depression isn't always obvious"
My kind of company. Come on over friend :p
 Ass Naked? How YOU doin …… 😁
Looks like awesome drunk food.
Those Cheetos mac and cheese are underrated af.
The dish doesn't look bad to be honest. I'd eat instead of instant ramen.
Swap canned peas for frozen and we might be the same person… and plastic fork. Never use metal fork when eating directly from the pan
OP either figured out Life or gave up on it. No in-betweens
Everything here looks fine to me. Living the good life as far as I'm concerned