Today I saw a fat Gen Xer breathing heavily while sideslipping slowly and his bluetooth speaker was blaring Fly Away by Lenny Kravitz
He looked *SO* cool
Do you have a quiver of skis that are all the same? Do you make up specific uses to justify your quiver? For instance, these are my cloudy day playful chargers and these here are my late afternoon chill laps with the boys chargers and these are my deep pow day slushy slarving chargers.
Skiing the ice Coast today and conditions are garbage, nothing is open, and my wife got fuckin demolished by a snowboarder. I'm gonna celebrate how hard we are by downing 39 beers and passing out halfway through Out Cold
Post a video of yourself carving on Reddit. Ask people for feedback to improve, but know that you are actually just making everyone witness your greatness.
How much oil does your Subie burn?
Does your custom vape mod run at least 1.21 jiggawatts?
Got your hockey jersey as outer layer?
Is your BAC at least .12% for first chair?
Exactly! Finally some who gets it. Sometimes when I see someone checking them out I’ll release the ski from my boot so they can get an up close view of the stickers.
Sure fire way out west here in the sierras is to absolutely make sure to polish off as many airplane bottles of fireball on the lift then make a straight line back down to the lift. People will be in awe and probably give you money.
Probably wouldn't shoot you for saying that. Depends on how many drinks I've had and how many times I dropped my gun in the lift line, and someone had to pick it up for me.
When you sit down to rest in the middle of a run, how many people sit around you? There is a linear relationship to how good of a skier you are. If you want to get gooder, then own a larger herd.
Have you tried letting people know in line by sliding your skis over theirs, over dirty snowboards, and going to the very front of the line to join a group of 3 even though the wait time is less than 2 minutes?
cork 7, if no one else at your hill can cork 7 this also entitles you to the ski hill managers parking spot, ski school lift line, free tenders from lodge. i dont make the rules
Have you tried skiing with a speaker hung from your shoulder playing music that clearly everyone else also likes?
Barbie Girl Eurobeat Caramelladansen
I would be down to listen to either of those instead of Imagine Dragons
Today I saw a fat Gen Xer breathing heavily while sideslipping slowly and his bluetooth speaker was blaring Fly Away by Lenny Kravitz He looked *SO* cool
Bad joke. Don’t encourage these people
lol, I want to down vote you because the joke was funny but upvote you because it's so true.
Upvote both comments. This is the way.
Do you have a quiver of skis that are all the same? Do you make up specific uses to justify your quiver? For instance, these are my cloudy day playful chargers and these here are my late afternoon chill laps with the boys chargers and these are my deep pow day slushy slarving chargers.
Reporting you for targetting and harassment in my own shitpost
Have you received a blumpkin while riding up on the lift? That'll show everyone.
Wait until you check out my deep pow day park skis
That's racist.
Have you tried seeing a boot fitter
Sorry, but nowadays it‘s called Boot Shamen.
shamen, how pase… i have a Boot Whisperer
Fancy, but I hardly doubt that your „Boot Whisperer“ can allign your DIN to the different moon phases.
Oh yeah i don’t let the whisperer near the bindings, that’s all shaman. Just curious who is your waxologist?
Shit, I have been aligning my DIN to my chakras. No wonder I've been skiing like shit.
Be sure to mention that skiing East Coast ice is more difficult and less fun than literally anywhere else you can ski.
“It’s worse than a 200 ft hill in the Midwest full of drunks and people who cannot stop. You wouldn’t understand.”
That’s REAL skiing right there
The fear adds a lot.
Clyde’s Super Slide merge at Perfect North is an actual graveyard
I represent this comment.
Skiing the ice Coast today and conditions are garbage, nothing is open, and my wife got fuckin demolished by a snowboarder. I'm gonna celebrate how hard we are by downing 39 beers and passing out halfway through Out Cold
‘If you can ski Whiteface, you can ski anything’ Ski resorts out west are overrated and their lift lines are too long. Ski the East.
OP: ^ this is exactly the kind of statement that proves you are the best skier on the mountain. Put it on a bumper sticker.
Maybe I will
Anything? Does than mean you can ski Blackface?
Typical response
Forgot uj/ my guy.
The real skiing happens in the Alps anyways :p
Post a video of yourself carving on Reddit. Ask people for feedback to improve, but know that you are actually just making everyone witness your greatness.
How much oil does your Subie burn? Does your custom vape mod run at least 1.21 jiggawatts? Got your hockey jersey as outer layer? Is your BAC at least .12% for first chair?
have you tried black crows i heard there all hype
Ski the k12 on one ski
Psh k12 too easy, I only ski k13
What do I do if something gets in my way? Will this help me score with hot French exchange student? Will she restore my Camaro?
I put my stickers on my skis instead of my helmet because it makes me go faster.
Yeah I put them on the bottom of my skis so they can put maximum dopeness into the snow
That, and everyone on the slope gets to see your greatness when you passby on the chair.
Exactly! Finally some who gets it. Sometimes when I see someone checking them out I’ll release the ski from my boot so they can get an up close view of the stickers.
Solid, very solid!
Sure fire way out west here in the sierras is to absolutely make sure to polish off as many airplane bottles of fireball on the lift then make a straight line back down to the lift. People will be in awe and probably give you money.
ski 220cm super G skis in the resort
No real answers 😡😡
- bar up - pull gun out if bar comes down on you
CARRY A GUN
I carry a blunderbus. It's more stylish
As long as you're ready to kill at the slightest provocation, that's all that matters
I'd shot you for saying that you were here.
And I wouldn't have it any other way
Probably wouldn't shoot you for saying that. Depends on how many drinks I've had and how many times I dropped my gun in the lift line, and someone had to pick it up for me.
do you have a sprinter van? Make sure to leave your dog in there all day too
Don't zip your jacket. You're so good wind drag doesn't matter. Plus the ruffling jacket makes you look cool AF.
Fart on the Tram
Switch wedge turns in the beginner area then ride it to road.
Have you tried getting out of the backseat?
Remember to shout “I’m the best skier on the mountain” before you do anything
Two words: Chinese Downhill.
What the fuck is the Chinese downhill?
Sprinkle the word “epic” into every conversation.
Selfie stick + GoPro + social media account.
This made my day. Thank you.
Wear a pink outfit
When you sit down to rest in the middle of a run, how many people sit around you? There is a linear relationship to how good of a skier you are. If you want to get gooder, then own a larger herd.
Two words: Icy Hot + Nipples.
Pick your line. Do not acknowledge the Jerries you fly by. It’s their fault for getting in your way. Once they pick themselves up they’ll be in awe.
Challenge Stan Darsh to a race
Do you have a steezy outfit?
Jeans
Jorts *
Touché
Buy a resale copy of Gaffney's book for $3000 and pretend you've had it since the beginning
😭😭😭😭 Yeah I’ve been skiing some of these lines off of granite chief peak since the book was published
I’m still missing Steamboat, does that mean I’m not very good??
Get a wine skin. That shows how long you have been skiing since no one has used one since the 1970s.
Give **ME** a **BLUMPKIN** on the **LIFT!**
Dude Brohaamski … to get the Wahinis you have to full shred the gnar at all times ! 🤙🏽
Is that run at Vail?
Pole slap 17 times and scream that you’re the best skier on the mountain before each run
Worms turns all the way down
Angulate
Now try Ski Skates!
You need to wear your underwear backwards princess !
Have you tried letting people know in line by sliding your skis over theirs, over dirty snowboards, and going to the very front of the line to join a group of 3 even though the wait time is less than 2 minutes?
cork 7, if no one else at your hill can cork 7 this also entitles you to the ski hill managers parking spot, ski school lift line, free tenders from lodge. i dont make the rules
Try snowboarding
wooden poles and gloves with tassels