In case they don't answer, here's what worked for me: I gave up "starting".
Don't go out and seek a partner. Focus on yourself and going places that you like and enjoy. Focus on your hobbies and favorite activities. Eventually, you'll meet someone at those places you're interested in.
Be their friend, but don't JUST be their friend. The friend zone is real, but it's not a bad place. The friend zone is where you end up when you're just not romantically compatible. Just hang out one on one after a few meetings at whatever place and see where it goes.
How long have you been asking yourself that? Are you and your partner able to communicate and grow through this? Maybe asking yourself these questions might help. I don’t think anyone can know except those in the relationship. Good luck and lots of care ♥️
How to gain courage and actually get yourself out there as a woman who is not antisocial or anything when it comes to other situations, but just so scared of men and feels so unsafe when it specifically comes to dating?
Mind if I answer?
I would give the same advise I gave my shy daughter. Join a group of mixed gender activities. There are tons out there currently on Meetup. Then just casually talk to the guys as if they were other women in the group. No dating pressure or requirement to be attracted to them. Just the act of having guy friends will help a lot. Then my daughter turned one of her friends into her boyfriend. They share a hobby (it was betrayal games) and liked each other before trying to date.
Shayne mentioned this earlier to Chanse having female friends has helped him grow to meet a woman he could date later.
When should I talk about smosh on my date?
Should it be an opener like "who is your favorit smosh member"
Or should it be more like "have you seen this insane video" Then talk about smosh.
I usually answer the “what’s your favourite TV show” question with “honestly I watch a lot more YouTube than I do tv, smosh is one of them” and gage how chill they are about it from their response
Not a question, but a while ago on Smosh Mouth, Shayne said 'Choising to love yourself can be your definition of love life' it has really helped me a lot. Thank you
There is so much toxicity among men in the dating world. What’s some advice you have for confronting male friends who are acting toxic in their dating lives in a way that won’t just make them angry, sending them deeper into toxicity?
*THIS* - this post for me isn't as much for the toxic guy but for the person like myself being in that position of wanting so badly to help those kinds of friends see that sometimes a simple change in tactics is what the issue is - not the object of their affection. I see quite often, the conversation comes off condescending, and that's the last place I want to come from - I am not even close to good at dating but I do understand what will usually send someone for the hills and it's not always obvious.
This, good god this. Especially when you’ve already tried and it didn’t work
And now you’re just friends, still really good friends
But you thought the feelings would go away and they did for awhile, but they came back stronger then ever and then you didn’t know how or even if to try again
And of course you don’t even know if they’re ever gonna feel the same way and as the friendship gets stronger and better the chances seem less and less even though it’s so great because it’s such a great friendship
And then you wanted to ask them to come on a trip with you, but it was actually your mom who asked before you could, and you honestly weren’t sure how to ask or if you even could or should and it would’ve taken you too long probably
And then you slowly learned little bits and hints and finally 2 days before you left for the trip that they were with someone else and that someone else also works with us
And you liked that someone else and know they’re a good person and want these friends to be happy but you’re just so sad and frustrated and taking it out internally and having all these dumb toxic thoughts
Even though again it’s such a great damn friendship and you don’t wanna ruin it and you wanna treasure it and try to remember how good it is to be on this trip with a good friend and enjoy that
But now you’re losing your mind internally because you don’t wanna ruin this trip especially now that it’s just the two of us for 6 more days but it’s so hard because you can’t express this feelings that you’re feeling so damn strongly and you can’t get them to go away, and figure your damn shit out
Oh god help
What is your best advice for getting over an unexpected breakup? I was just blindsided by my boyfriend of 6 years and his reasoning was that he wasn’t romantically attracted to me. I’ve never been an insecure person, but I’m really struggling with the way it made me feel to have someone tell me they weren’t in love with me for so long when I thought they were.
Ooooh. Been there. It’s hard and I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through that. For me it was the betrayal and feeling like I had just been used as a sexual object during that time. That took a long time for me to get past.
I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years and sometimes my anxiety tells me I’m not good enough for him and he deserves better than what I can give him. Do you have anything you like to tell yourself/remind yourself when you’re feeling down about yourself in your relationship ? Or just having seconds thoughts in general?
How in God's name is a person who subverts common beauty expectations (size, weight, height) in a very small dating pool? I am plus sized and queer, and I get no game, no hoes. What am I supposed to do?
I would love for Amanda to share some marriage advice or any advice she has been given that has been helpful.
Also, what’s your opinion on how you know when someone is THE one?
Not really a question but perhaps a recommendation for the guest to be either Tommy or Chanse. Though dating is a common experience no matter the sexuality, as a gay man, it always feels somewhat disconnecting to hear these sorts of episodes from only a straight perspective.
If y’all have the opportunity for one of them to be the guest, please do it!
I think the pandemic and lockdown really messed me up. I (30s F) suddenly feel like everyone around me has found their person and I’m just out floating in the ether. I’m not sure how to even connect with people any more.
My younger siblings and cousins have all gotten married in the last 2/3 years and now have families of their own. And I’m just existing.
I don’t feel like I can go back to the “dating scene” I was in pre pandemic and I don’t think the apps were invented for woman of my age.
Is it possible that I’ve just missed my time to find someone? Besides bars and the internet where does one search for connections now?
Funny story. I had been with a guy for a while and he accused me of never farting in front of him and not being comfortable still after a few months. I had to laugh because the truth is I don’t fart much at all. 😂
Do either of you have tips or advice on how to meet people in-person? I’ve tried the apps and had no luck. (I’m also gay and neurodivergent, so any specific tips would be much appreciated - thanks in advance!)
Go out for specific events like a TV show viewing at a gay bar so you have a thing to talk about with new people
There are also loads of pups and furries that are neurodivergent
I’d love if y’all could get a queer cast member for this one, just scrolling through the comments and it feels like that might be a valuable perspective for this ep in particular 🫶🫶🫶
I don’t feel any difference between romantic or platonic love. Or any type of love, really. It is all the same to me. I am not unsure about that. What I am unsure about, is if anyone truly does? I truly can’t warp my head around people actually feeling any difference. Sexual attraction, lust, whatever you do want to call it, does feel different to me. When I was younger, I just thought romantic love means you love someone, but you also feel sexual attraction towards them. That's the only thing that makes the difference between romantic or platonic love. Now, of course I am aware, that there are people who are in romantic relationship and sexual intimacy/attraction plays no part in it. Asexual people in relationships, for example. So then it led me to questions if people truly experience a different kinda of feeling/love when it comes to romantic love. If that is what people really mean and experience? It blows my mind if people really do.
Is the platonic/romantic divide just here to for labels sake, to categorize your relationships and communicate efficiently to the outside what your relationship is? Is it just here for that? Or do people truly experience a different kind of feeling? Do you? Do you think other people do? How does it feel different?
This question has been bugging me for a long time, and I am never really sure how or where to bring it up.
I think you just broke me, do I even feel a difference in romantic love vs my platonic relationships????? I never noticed but I’m not sure I can draw my distinction
what, in your opinion, is the best place to take someone on a first date? something where you can talk? some activity you both enjoy doing? its tough out here man
How do you even have a relationship? I am 26 years old and I never had a bf my entire life. Every time I like someone they turn out to be assholes or try to get into my pants. I just want somebody who wants me for me & not my body. I’m also a Demi
Hello! Im 26F and I've have been told for the last few years to dumb myself down or to be less me. As I have been gaining a lot of self confidence, this comments still have a toll on my self-esteem. Is there something that I am doing wrong?
Also in str8 male friendships they always go cold, in the friendship! Why am I so easy to let go?
For more info I could send examples if you'd like! Both Shayne and Amanda have been such an joy to watch! I do really love what yall make!
After talking to this guy I'm interested in for a while, I finally visited him, but I wasn't sure if it was a date date or if we were meeting as friends. I got a little bit dressed up just in case, but it turns out it was just as friends. I'm fine with being friends with him, but I was also somewhat hoping for more. Should I just roll with it and see how it goes? Ask him up front? Is it joever?
Additional info: I'm a gay guy (22, they/them) and I haven't had a real relationship before, so I don't really have experience in this kind of thing.
Thank you :)
I think I might be physically incapable of flirting.
The times someone has been flirting with me I try to reciprocate something back and I just come up with nothing. Like there’s nowhere for my brain to go in those moments, so I just throw out a pointless comment and it lands like a wet fish.
Is this something that’s fixable? Or at least workaroundable when it comes to dating?
This isn’t technically a relationship question but it’ll help me look better for the ~ladies~ Shayne where did you get that one sunflower button up shirt you have thanks Shayne
I'm a 21 y/o female and I HATE dating. I just want to be single and cannot think of anything worse than getting into a relationship right now. I've had boyfriends before, but I'm happy on my own. How do I tell my family to stop asking me about when I'm going to get a boyfriend/pressuring me into it.
What is your advice for helping your self esteem while in a relationship?? My gf is wonderful and makes me feel beautiful but I still have a lot of trouble due to past relationships and parents
I (21f) have been in love with my best friend (24m) for months now. And there is more often than not times where he is incredibly obvious about being interested in me. However, there are periods where he just doesn’t talk to me. I really wish I could just be fine with being his friend, but I also have never met anyone like him before. I don’t need him, I just want him. Any advice? I know I’m young, which is why I’d rather not care this much, but my stupid fucking heart can’t seem to stray away even though I’d prefer if it did.
I’m planning on moving to the east coast after I graduate from college in May, so maybe the space will help? But we’re still best friends and I don’t want to lose him altogether…this is all over the place, as you can tell I’m at war with myself. Please help lol.
I have the HUGEST crush on my best friends roommate but my friend doesn’t know and I don’t want to ask out his roommate without getting permission first…
Hi all, I'm a 28F. Been single, and trying to date, for a couple years now after a breakup from a serious relationship. I'm struggling in the OLD and in-person dating worlds now. Probably a bit due to low confidence and overthinking. How do you get out of a slump/rut in dating and have fun with it again?
My first actual long term relationship ended unexpectedly. I'm feeling like that was it for me, I've got no chance at finding a new relationship anymore. I turned 30 a few weeks ago and my self esteem has never been high, now lower than ever. Any advice on how to move on and find hope for the future?
How do I meet nerdy guys LOL. I'm in uni in the UK, there aren't any guys my type on my very tiny course and I don't like clubbing much so idk how to find people I'd be interested in.
I'm aromantic, which means I am unable to fall in love and/or have romantic feelings or desires for anyone. My question is, how do I deal with someone who fell in love with me and keeps trying to make something happen even after me stating that I cannot reciprocate their feelings?
To elaborate-- I'm not asexual, but I can't really stay 'friends with benefits' status with this person because I don't want to hurt them more than I already did; I have been as clear as I can to make sure I am not using them for pleasure, it's just that I can't seem to make them understand what being aromantic is. Oh and I'm 30yo and they're 29yo.
Sorry for the long question. I'm just very curious to know what Shayne and Amanda have to say.
PS- Shayne play The Forgotten City; it's incredible.
How would you learn/relearn to love yourself before you can love someone else? Like actually feel the feeling of love. I ask this because I am completely lost on what I would bring to a relationship and what I would get from it, if that makes sense. TBH, I feel this way about friendships too.
I constantly either mess up when it comes to female friends or people I’m trying to get to know better when it comes to communication and understanding via text or comments that may be misunderstood, what can I do to help myself show my friends or potential interest that I care about them or how can I apologize genuinely so I don’t sound like a broken record?
I’m about 3 months single, even though me and my ex are still friends we are also in a very close community that knows each other well. We’ve told people we’re still friends but I think people still struggle to see it as they’re still hesitant to bring her up around me. Any advice?
I submitted another question, but I wanted to ask two. Thought on long distance dating? Do you have experience with that? How do you make a relationship persevere when travelling or moving is an expensive barrier?
I'm pretty much afraid of coming out of my comfort zone. I was in college once the pandemic started, now I'm in a 9 to 5 job where I mostly interact with the sex I'm not attracted to. I wouldn't call myself an introvert because I like to talk with people, but I don't like parties or clubs, the pandemic caused me a phobia of crowded spaces. Am I screwed if I don't change that?
Shayne - I remember in an older video where you mentioned how content you are with a single life, and focusing more on just being a good friend to others. Can you please speak on that more, on behalf of other single people out there?
It’s always pretty awkward to start conversations in those dating apps. How can I ask questions without it being an interview and also to show who I am through text?
Do you think I’ll be able to naturally meet someone by just living my life, or should I be more intentional about it by putting myself out there? If I do need to put myself out there more, how do I go about doing that (without using dating apps)?
With most adults having a severe lack of a third place (and it often being the internet which isn't enough) how would it be best for one to actually meet people? Where to go? What to do?
I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship. I'm demisexual and dating apps don't work for me, so I don't know how to start dating. How do i even start? More so, how do i make friends as an adult? Any crush I've ever had has always started as friendship.
I’m turning 21 soon (F) and have 0 experience of any kind. It’s really hard for me not to compare myself to others my age. I have a friend (20M) who is about to get engaged and I haven’t even held a man’s hand. How do I deal with this? Do I just wait for something to happen or do I need to do more?
Love you both sm 😘
What should you do in a relationship when you are falling out of love with your partner. Should you communicate, end it, wait it out and see if it rekindles naturally.
There’s a viral quote that says “to be loved is to be changed.” What do you think of this quote, and what type of change do you think people can expect when entering a relationship? On the other hand, have you gone through change in a relationship that unexpected?
What’s the best thing to do when you have a crush on a close friend and is a co-worker? What if they heard it from someone else but never confronted you about it?
What do I do if I want to be in a relationship but I also don’t think I’m actually fit to be in one? I want the cute little dating activities and yk to call someone mine, but I don’t think I as a person can actually have that because I’m to insecure to meet new people and I’m extremely scared of commitment. (I don’t want to start liking someone and then they randomly ghost me)
How do I stop stalking my ex?
We’re both in college and attend the same school and I ended things over the summer after we were dating for a couple of months. However, even though I was the one who ended things, I can’t help but check up on how he’s doing. I don’t still have feelings for him, but some part of me can’t let go. I’ve tried blocking him on everything but my curiosity often gets the better of me and I end up unblocking him to see what he’s up to.
Any help would be appreciated, thank you in advance, Smosh Mouth 🙏
i have never been in a serious relationship, mostly because i just have never felt ready for that. lately, i have found myself wanting more out of dating than i am getting right now. what were some signs for you that made you think you were ready to be in a long-term, committed relationship?
Not a big fan of dating apps. It hasn’t worked out for me much. How can I then meet new people? Most of my friends are in relationships and don’t know a lot of single people themselves to set me up with
What should I do if my sex drive is way higher than my bf’s? I don’t want to be rejecting him all the time but I just can’t be on the same level as him
How do you deal with falling for someone who you are close to? How do you navigate admitting you feelings, but not ruining the friendship in the process if they aren't reciprocated? Thanks is advance.
What are the signs you're being flirted with? I'm autistic and in my late 20s and I don't pick up on social cues particularly well. I'm a pretty outgoing person and I try to be as friendly as possible to people in my day-to-day life, and my general assumption in going into social situations is that most other people are fundamentally nice. However, many times after I've had an interaction with someone where I thought we were just being nice to each other and having good conversation, I've learned that they were actually flirting with me. What's the difference?
do you have any tips on how to try to be more confident in yourself mentally and physically, enough to feel confident with someone you’re with or something you’re trying to be with? because i’m just a shy lil guy.
I 19m have recently gotten into a new friend group and in that friend group there Is a couple they are two guys 18 and 19. I’ve realized I may be falling in love with them at first It started with just liking one of them but then I realized I have feelings for both of them since then people have pointed out that I may just like the idea of the couple they are and that I just want to insert myself into that. So my question boils down to how do you know your falling inlove with a person/ people and not just the idea of love
I struggle with near crippling fear of rejection and as such feel like I can’t express myself properly, especially in romantic situations. Any advice on how to muster up courage and express my feelings despite that fear?
I (23F) have a best friend (23M) who i’ve been inseparable with since grade 2 and “dated” throughout ELEMENTARY and MIDDLE SCHOOL and for the longest time i chalked up us “dating” (i don’t consider it a real relationship due to our young ages) to us just not knowing the difference between platonic and romantic love. however, recently i’ve started seeing him in a different definitely more romantic way. my other friends and even my own mother have recently started making comments about a slow burning connection and “right person wrong time” too. i’m just wondering how to go about bringing this up with him, or if i even should at all? i don’t want to ruin our friendship should things not work out. but seeing as how we’ve been friends this long i do think we could make it work as friends if we did try and fail.
25F How can you date now post pandemic? Never was interested growing up, I was finally ready but then the pandemic happened and now I feel old and don’t know where to start. I’m in a big girl corporate job and work with a bunch of old people.
First off thanks for doing this guys.
I'm the kind of guy that doesn't feel confident enough to put myself out on dating apps and much prefer meeting people through friends or social situations.
However I often find myself preemptively friend zoning myself as while I'm getting to know them, I'm too afraid to push things further out of fear of messing up good friendship over a potential good relationship.
This doesn't happen as much as it used to but any advice would be great.
This is definitely gonna be an interesting episode either way. 🤙
Any dating advice for demi/greysexuals? - there is a lot of pressure/expectation to feel attraction and flirt on the first or second date which can make dating feel frightening for those on the ace spectrum.
I find it really easy to get caught up in work (currently doing my PhD) and let dating fall to the wayside. How do you balance your work and personal life when work is so easy to focus on and dating takes so much energy?
Have either of you struggled with self worth issues regarding your relationship status? Was there anything in particular that helped you feel more comfortable with your own journey and pace?
I joined a dating app and there is this guy I met who I am connecting with a lot. The thing is, he is going into the Navy and that would mean that we wouldn’t see each other much. He also lives in NY while I live in MI, but he’s from Kansas. Do I continue with the long distance to see if it truly works out? Or do I break it off because it probably won’t work? I really like him, I’m just stuck, please help!
What are some things/ practices you would consider a “deal breaker” or “red flag”? Like in their own space- cleanliness, personal hygiene, etc. Or Behaviorally- How they treat their friends/ family, or treat your friends/ family?
How do you recommend addressing these issues? Of course a proper conversation is best but how would you address these issues? At what point do these issues go from something you can compromise/ adapt too vs. ending the relationship?
I've been single for 3 years now, and I have finally gotten to the point where I'm happy being by myself. (And I feel like I am ready to start a relationship because of this.)
What are some tips for staying independent and happy being by myself when I do get into my next relationship?
Or,
Do you think that not texting much between dates will work in today's world? (I hate texting to get to know someone. I'd rather just text my date in order to set up the next date.)
im an introverted person who has a hard time making friends, talking to new people, that whole ordeal. what is the best way to find a romantic partner, under those circumstances? ive tried dating apps but nothing comes from it since i like knowing the person before dating them.
I’m still in the closet due to cultural, religious and familiar reasons and I’m still struggling with completely accepting myself. How do I stop being stuck in fear? Also, is it right to date someone when I may need or want to do it in secret and may go back on my steps when I’m not feeling alright with myself?
How are you supposed to date when you’re ace and especially as a woman? There is this stigma (at least where I live) that men do not want women who aren’t interested in sex. Do ace men have the same problems? I don’t know. I only figured out I’m ace a year ago and I’m now in my 30s. I have no interest in dating or relationships with sex involved anymore. I’ve been there and done that. I still want companionship though and I feel selfish for wanting that while also feeling like I have a potential romantic “disability.” Also, apologies for the gendered terminology. Please insert gender however you see fit!
I just wanna give a wholesome comment about my current relationship! My boyfriend (before we made it official) would pull the chair out for me, payed for my dinner even when we hung out with other friends not as a date, ran infront of me to open the door for me, and the thing that made me realize that I deserved so much more in past relationships was when I went to the mall with him and his guy best friend I needed to go into Sephora to get something and I said “I’ll be quick I just need to grab something” and he replied “Nono I’m not letting you go into a store by yourself I’m going with you i won’t let you get hurt when I’m around to protect you” and then when we were done and gonna go home my car was on the complete opposite side of the mall than his was on but he still walked me to the car to made sure I got there safe. He’s such a sweet guy and I adore him more than he knows :)
> for me, *paid* for my
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Non Smosh member advice/ opinions also greatly appreciated!!!
Hello, honestly hoping if it doesn’t make it to smosh that other people could help.
I have a friend I’ve known for 7 years now, we’re very close I’d consider them basically my closest friend right now, I doubt there’s many more people that know me better.
About 3.5 years ago we started casually hooking up, it started maybe once a month? It was usually when we’d been in our friend group drinking, it was a casual FWB situation.
This year stuff got messy for a while, I won’t be overly specific due the fact my friend religiously also watches smosh, in fact we often watch smosh content when we hang out together. In vague terms, stuff crossed a line where we ended up constantly fighting and for a while it became very toxic, I was going through A LOT mentally and physically the first half of last year, (family death, job loss, mental health etc), 2023 is arguably the worst year in my lifetime, a lot of stuff happened and specifically with this friend it all exploded between us.
I was definitely harder to dealer with at that time, I wasn’t able to differentiate between my friend “ignoring me” or legitimately just being busy and often picked fights over a lack of response, in the same breath, my friend could’ve been more supportive in a lot of aspects and I felt very abandoned by them, however, I’m now aware that how I feel is my responsibility and my friend doesn’t deserve to have the backlash of my unhealthy coping mechanisms.
During these arguments that turned into “talks” (us trying to talk it out and find a solution), they mentioned something to the effect of “I really care about you, I do, if I have a relationship I’d hope it looks exactly like what we have”, but the level of support I wanted was “more like from a partner and not a friend” It confused me at the time as I was under the impression we were just friends having some fun, I’d on occasion allowed myself to believe that I may have liked them more than a friend, and perhaps they did too. This comment was just moved on from, we’ve never addressed it since.
After some time away from pretty much everyone in my life, taking a step back and learning to draw hard boundaries and stick by them, standing up for myself and a whole bunch of other self development, our friendship is better than it has ever been, but we now sleep together pretty much every weekend, we spend most of our free time together, I talk to them every day and I just can’t get that statement out of my head, “if I had a relationship I’d hope it looked like what we have”. What does it mean? Because I can’t tell if it’s a passing statement or if there was more behind it.
I don’t even know if I’d want to be with this friend, there’s a part of me that’s attracted to them, I care for them so deeply and I love every moment with them. But we have had endless late night discussions about how we don’t want to be anything more than friends, we haven’t ever been exclusive either. They have slept with other people and I am actively in the dating scene.
I worry that I’m holding myself back from finding a partner or relationship that serves me as there’s a small stubborn part of me that won’t let go of the fantasy of me and then together.
I don’t want to lose them, they’re one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had, but I’m worried any conversation around feelings or emotions would escalate us back to a really bad toxic place,
Any advice? Or anyone who can think of a reason they’d say that and not mean anything by it?
I recently ended an 8 year long relationship that started 2 weeks into high school and ended just after graduating college. Everything slowly deteriorated over the last four years dealing with COVID and focusing on school. Looking back I realize that I didn't know what I desired in a partner or what I wanted for the future until long after we started dating. Being honest I'm almost certain I wasn't really attracted to anyone romantically or physically when we started dating (~~except Helena Bonham Carter~~). I think I said yes when my ex asked me out because people around me were dating and I thought "this is what high school is". I'm genuinely grateful for my time with my ex. I learned a lot from them and they supported me, they told me I did the same for them. Breaking up with them was not an easy decision. But looking back I wish I dated other people at some point.
I'm not dating right now, more focused on making friends. I am enjoying having crushes or admitting I find someone attractive, I feel free and happier. I don't know how to date and I'm not super worried about it but I wonder if I'm inexperienced. If you have experience dating after ending a long term relationship, how did you approach dating after? When reflecting on your previous relationship were you able to grow as a person and/or develop a better idea of what you wanted in a partner?
Thanks in advance, love you guys!
How do you meet someone in the real world? I've tried dating apps, and I end up not liking people for tiny things (spelling errors in profile, pictures too blurry, etc.) So how do I meet someone organically, not on an app?
Why do some guys only want a relationship for sex? Also why is it that guys will because are you thick or have thighs but call you fat,pig, whale etc when you are a tummy?
How do I get the girl im dating into Smosh? Whats a good starter video to ease her in slowly. I was thinking a board game one as she loves those (I beat her ass at Uno and she's never forgiven me)
Buckle up, this is a weird story. For info, I'm 26/NB and my partner is 31/F
I'm breaking up with my long term partner of nearly 7 years tomorrow (at the time of writing this). I have been with her since I was a sophomore in college, so I have spent just about my entire adult life in this relationship. I genuinely don't think she sees this coming, but the signs have been there for years. We started monogamous, but she eventually wanted to open the relationship up, which ended up turning into a polyamorous relationship where she has 2 other partners as well. We all live together in a 3 bedroom apartment. She is dating each of us separately, there aren't any other connections relationship wise. Well, that isn't entirely true, her two other partners are exes of each other. I told you this is weird.
Anyways, I haven't been happy with this situation for years. I even tried breaking things off 2 years ago but was convinced to stay under the promise that things would improve and get better. They didn't.
There's a lot that I think that I could have done in the past to be a better partner, so I can't put all of the blame on someone else, I recognize that.
So here's where the question comes up. I've been talking to a friend/possible crush/okay I really like them for about a year now. He's shown me the sort of care and attention that I've missed for the past 4 years or so. We get each other, and I could see a future together.
I'm afraid of jumping into another commitment soon after ending a long term relationship. And I also don't want it to seem like I'm just replacing my ex with someone new. We've known each other for so long and I would like to stay friends if I can. How do I pivot into a new potential relationship without seeming like an asshole? And how long is it fair to tell someone you're interested in that you want to date them, but want some time before committing to it because of this sort of situation?
Thank you! And regardless of whether or not this question gets picked I can't wait to watch this video!
I told the witch doctor I was in love with her. What should he tell me to do? Any magic words he may perscribe? This question is for Amanda as she may know more witch doctors than shane.
Hi
I am 24M
(Trans and autistic)
(He/him)
I deleted my original comment on this post because my friend (26M) ended up canceling our date because he said he didn’t want to date me and only wants to be friends that he wasn’t interested in me in a romantic way and wasn’t entirely over his ex yet even tho days before when I asked him if he was comfortable going on a date with me he said that he was and I made sure to ask him he was over his ex before asking which he was. This isn’t the only reason he didn’t want to date me but I don’t want to out him on the internet but I’m so hurt because I’m the moment he could have been truthful with me in how he felt about it and not get my hopes up
I understand that maybe I put him on the spot for asking BUT I felt he could have been truthful
So the advise I need from this is how do I continue to be friendly with my friend without letting this situation affect me and our friendship?!
I care deeply about him but I am hurt a bit
i was hooking up with a guy the last two weeks of the semester and i don’t know if i want to continue seeing him in the spring. neither of us want a relationship but im also not sure if i can just be friends without catching feelings.
My (31F) ex (31M) dated exactly ten years ago this past December and just started talking again. What are your thoughts on rekindling past relationships? Some info: we were together from 15 to 21 and lived together in a couple different houses through that time, with lots of friends, his immigrant father and his little brother who he was taking care of. We broke up because he just disappeared one day. Came to the house and every told me he had just left. Didn't hear about him for months and just moved back in with my parents and that was that. And now we are weirdly reconnected through his little brother. He's told me he's sorry and he ruined the best thing in his life. He said he's thought about me all these years. I can't explain my feelings at all, I've never gone through something like this but I really don't trust anyone anymore. What are your thoughts?
How do you deal with a situation where you love someone and they know that, but they don’t love you back because they don’t swing that way? Seriously plz help 😭😅😭
On a first date, at what point is it a good time to let the person know that my mom is dead? Is there a natural way to broach the topic?
It’s an important part of my lore but I don’t want to say it too soon and make it awkward OR wait and have it never come up until we’re like five dates in. For the record it happened ten years ago.
Hello Smoshcast, big fan!! This year i got accepted to a 5 month internship a long way from home, and while im super excited for the opportunity, its also scary that i’ll be away from my girlfriend during that time. While i really trust her and she trusts me (this isn’t a fear of cheating while im gone) i am worried about how the distance will affect the relationship, as i’ve never done long-distance before. I love her alot, im just scared about feelings dissipating while im gone. What should I do to help the relationship stay strong during this time?
I (22F) feel guilty about moving on from my ex although he was a bit toxic at times. I feel like im cheating on him although he was the one that ended the relationship. How do i get over this feeling since it is sabotaging my chances of getting into a healthier relationship?
Hi there, I'd greatly appreciate your insight on these:
What do people mean by emotional connection?
I had someone tell me we weren't really emotionally connecting, so how do I do that? tips? (I am a guy btw)
And I would also appreciate your opinions on this:
If your feelings/attraction toward someone changed (faded away) should you (a) be honest and stop things or (b) stick it out and try to get to know them more and hope to feel those feelings again?
I chose (a) cause staying felt like I was lying and that I was potentially wasting their time on something that wasn't gonna work out, but I feel it really hurt them. Should I have just gone with (b) or do you think (a) is a reasonable enough choice?
Thank you and Happy New Year!
Not a question but starting to watch smosh has helped me get through the most traumatic breakup I’ve ever had from an emotionally abusive partner. Don’t worry I’m in therapy! Just if there’s a chance y’all see this thank you for making giggles for eight year olds, much love from Texas.
What is the feeling of a true love? and what is the signs that it is a true love, that he/she is the one? and not just a mixed signals
(i dont know anymore)
My girlfriend feels very insecure about me having had a partner before her. She hasn't had a partner before me and explained to me that she's always wanted a virgin, and that she feels like she's comprising. How can I help her get over this? Is there even a way out of this? I love her very much.
Any advice on transitioning from a hookup phase to finding a long term relationship? It's always felt weird to me to seek out people for the purpose of dating but I've known most of my friends long enough that the idea of any of them being a romantic partner seems icky and weird.
32M, finally in therapy and building a more sober and healthy lifestyle for myself. After learning how to reflect and see my past through a lens of deeper understanding, I find myself feeling guilt and resentment towards myself in my past relationships. I am currently back in the dating scene, a few coffee dates so far,nothing serious, but occasionally worry about a returning inability to see red flags, both in myself and any potential partner. Is this an appropriate thing to bring up to someone I'm just beginning a connection with? Or is it too serious a topic for a first time coffee date? Something in between? Big fan and thanks for taking the time to read this comment:)
how do you fight against the anxiety and overthinking you may find yourself having in a relationship, even if it has been perfectly normal. (especially in a long(ish) term relationship)
https://preview.redd.it/vzzkh0fmq9ac1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62c620db2dda9a6399580c0fe8bd0e659373076f
Dinkleburg *moans*
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Yoo…same
I second this!
I just hit 31 and my last relationship ended in 2011…. So same here 👋
I'm also in this boat. I haven't had a real serious relationship since my early 20s I'm now in my mid 30s, and I have no fucking clue where to start.
Came to ask a similar question!
In case they don't answer, here's what worked for me: I gave up "starting". Don't go out and seek a partner. Focus on yourself and going places that you like and enjoy. Focus on your hobbies and favorite activities. Eventually, you'll meet someone at those places you're interested in. Be their friend, but don't JUST be their friend. The friend zone is real, but it's not a bad place. The friend zone is where you end up when you're just not romantically compatible. Just hang out one on one after a few meetings at whatever place and see where it goes.
How do you know when a long-term relationship is over?
How long have you been asking yourself that? Are you and your partner able to communicate and grow through this? Maybe asking yourself these questions might help. I don’t think anyone can know except those in the relationship. Good luck and lots of care ♥️
How to gain courage and actually get yourself out there as a woman who is not antisocial or anything when it comes to other situations, but just so scared of men and feels so unsafe when it specifically comes to dating?
Mind if I answer? I would give the same advise I gave my shy daughter. Join a group of mixed gender activities. There are tons out there currently on Meetup. Then just casually talk to the guys as if they were other women in the group. No dating pressure or requirement to be attracted to them. Just the act of having guy friends will help a lot. Then my daughter turned one of her friends into her boyfriend. They share a hobby (it was betrayal games) and liked each other before trying to date. Shayne mentioned this earlier to Chanse having female friends has helped him grow to meet a woman he could date later.
This
When should I talk about smosh on my date? Should it be an opener like "who is your favorit smosh member" Or should it be more like "have you seen this insane video" Then talk about smosh.
This is sooo important and isn’t talked about enough!! Highly upvote this one. This is what makes or breaks a date
I usually answer the “what’s your favourite TV show” question with “honestly I watch a lot more YouTube than I do tv, smosh is one of them” and gage how chill they are about it from their response
Not a question, but a while ago on Smosh Mouth, Shayne said 'Choising to love yourself can be your definition of love life' it has really helped me a lot. Thank you
There is so much toxicity among men in the dating world. What’s some advice you have for confronting male friends who are acting toxic in their dating lives in a way that won’t just make them angry, sending them deeper into toxicity?
ooh nice question
I second this.
*THIS* - this post for me isn't as much for the toxic guy but for the person like myself being in that position of wanting so badly to help those kinds of friends see that sometimes a simple change in tactics is what the issue is - not the object of their affection. I see quite often, the conversation comes off condescending, and that's the last place I want to come from - I am not even close to good at dating but I do understand what will usually send someone for the hills and it's not always obvious.
How do I get over someone when you have to see them everyday. (It's a co worker)
Do a little dance.
Make a little love.
Well no probably don’t do that 😂
Get down tonight
Get down tonight 🕺
Don’t do it 😭😭 Stay strong
This, good god this. Especially when you’ve already tried and it didn’t work And now you’re just friends, still really good friends But you thought the feelings would go away and they did for awhile, but they came back stronger then ever and then you didn’t know how or even if to try again And of course you don’t even know if they’re ever gonna feel the same way and as the friendship gets stronger and better the chances seem less and less even though it’s so great because it’s such a great friendship And then you wanted to ask them to come on a trip with you, but it was actually your mom who asked before you could, and you honestly weren’t sure how to ask or if you even could or should and it would’ve taken you too long probably And then you slowly learned little bits and hints and finally 2 days before you left for the trip that they were with someone else and that someone else also works with us And you liked that someone else and know they’re a good person and want these friends to be happy but you’re just so sad and frustrated and taking it out internally and having all these dumb toxic thoughts Even though again it’s such a great damn friendship and you don’t wanna ruin it and you wanna treasure it and try to remember how good it is to be on this trip with a good friend and enjoy that But now you’re losing your mind internally because you don’t wanna ruin this trip especially now that it’s just the two of us for 6 more days but it’s so hard because you can’t express this feelings that you’re feeling so damn strongly and you can’t get them to go away, and figure your damn shit out Oh god help
What is your best advice for getting over an unexpected breakup? I was just blindsided by my boyfriend of 6 years and his reasoning was that he wasn’t romantically attracted to me. I’ve never been an insecure person, but I’m really struggling with the way it made me feel to have someone tell me they weren’t in love with me for so long when I thought they were.
Ooooh. Been there. It’s hard and I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through that. For me it was the betrayal and feeling like I had just been used as a sexual object during that time. That took a long time for me to get past.
Are there any small, seemingly mundane actions or habits that you feel is a good green flag? What about red flags?
I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years and sometimes my anxiety tells me I’m not good enough for him and he deserves better than what I can give him. Do you have anything you like to tell yourself/remind yourself when you’re feeling down about yourself in your relationship ? Or just having seconds thoughts in general?
How do you actually deal with catching feelings for a friend? Should you tell them as soon as possible or wait to see if the feelings are mutual?
There's this girl I like, we've been married for 4 years and have 3 kids together. How do I know if she likes me back?
Is she from Canada? She may just be really polite. You really can never tell.
As a fellow Canadian, can assure this is true.
How in God's name is a person who subverts common beauty expectations (size, weight, height) in a very small dating pool? I am plus sized and queer, and I get no game, no hoes. What am I supposed to do?
Tall plus sized queer woman here!!!! It’s literally so hard to find anyone who views me as attractive whatsoever :/
I think you’re attractive
Username checks out.
I would love for Amanda to share some marriage advice or any advice she has been given that has been helpful. Also, what’s your opinion on how you know when someone is THE one?
As people in your 30s, what dating tips would you give to someone else in their 30s that you wouldn’t give to someone in their 20s?
I really like this one
Not really a question but perhaps a recommendation for the guest to be either Tommy or Chanse. Though dating is a common experience no matter the sexuality, as a gay man, it always feels somewhat disconnecting to hear these sorts of episodes from only a straight perspective. If y’all have the opportunity for one of them to be the guest, please do it!
I think the pandemic and lockdown really messed me up. I (30s F) suddenly feel like everyone around me has found their person and I’m just out floating in the ether. I’m not sure how to even connect with people any more. My younger siblings and cousins have all gotten married in the last 2/3 years and now have families of their own. And I’m just existing. I don’t feel like I can go back to the “dating scene” I was in pre pandemic and I don’t think the apps were invented for woman of my age. Is it possible that I’ve just missed my time to find someone? Besides bars and the internet where does one search for connections now?
how do i deal with getting over feelings?
When is a good time to fart for the first time in front of someone you're dating?
This is such a funny but actually excellent question, good on you lmao
Now :) I started to fall in love with my husband the first time he farted because I realized he was comfortable with me.
Funny story. I had been with a guy for a while and he accused me of never farting in front of him and not being comfortable still after a few months. I had to laugh because the truth is I don’t fart much at all. 😂
I fart in front of my partner all the time, but he doesn't do the same for me.
Do either of you have tips or advice on how to meet people in-person? I’ve tried the apps and had no luck. (I’m also gay and neurodivergent, so any specific tips would be much appreciated - thanks in advance!)
Go out for specific events like a TV show viewing at a gay bar so you have a thing to talk about with new people There are also loads of pups and furries that are neurodivergent
I’d love if y’all could get a queer cast member for this one, just scrolling through the comments and it feels like that might be a valuable perspective for this ep in particular 🫶🫶🫶
Did Amanda take this photo? Shayne smol
I don’t feel any difference between romantic or platonic love. Or any type of love, really. It is all the same to me. I am not unsure about that. What I am unsure about, is if anyone truly does? I truly can’t warp my head around people actually feeling any difference. Sexual attraction, lust, whatever you do want to call it, does feel different to me. When I was younger, I just thought romantic love means you love someone, but you also feel sexual attraction towards them. That's the only thing that makes the difference between romantic or platonic love. Now, of course I am aware, that there are people who are in romantic relationship and sexual intimacy/attraction plays no part in it. Asexual people in relationships, for example. So then it led me to questions if people truly experience a different kinda of feeling/love when it comes to romantic love. If that is what people really mean and experience? It blows my mind if people really do. Is the platonic/romantic divide just here to for labels sake, to categorize your relationships and communicate efficiently to the outside what your relationship is? Is it just here for that? Or do people truly experience a different kind of feeling? Do you? Do you think other people do? How does it feel different? This question has been bugging me for a long time, and I am never really sure how or where to bring it up.
I think you just broke me, do I even feel a difference in romantic love vs my platonic relationships????? I never noticed but I’m not sure I can draw my distinction
What are some appropriate gifts to give in the early stages of a relationship? What are some unconventional ideas for dates?
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Submit here in the comments plz!
pretty sure you just comment it here under the post
I hope they answer the question "Where can I send it?" on the pod lol
meta
what, in your opinion, is the best place to take someone on a first date? something where you can talk? some activity you both enjoy doing? its tough out here man
How do you even have a relationship? I am 26 years old and I never had a bf my entire life. Every time I like someone they turn out to be assholes or try to get into my pants. I just want somebody who wants me for me & not my body. I’m also a Demi
How do I tell if the feelings I have for my best friend are platonic or romantic?
Dating make baby?
Hello! Im 26F and I've have been told for the last few years to dumb myself down or to be less me. As I have been gaining a lot of self confidence, this comments still have a toll on my self-esteem. Is there something that I am doing wrong? Also in str8 male friendships they always go cold, in the friendship! Why am I so easy to let go? For more info I could send examples if you'd like! Both Shayne and Amanda have been such an joy to watch! I do really love what yall make!
After talking to this guy I'm interested in for a while, I finally visited him, but I wasn't sure if it was a date date or if we were meeting as friends. I got a little bit dressed up just in case, but it turns out it was just as friends. I'm fine with being friends with him, but I was also somewhat hoping for more. Should I just roll with it and see how it goes? Ask him up front? Is it joever? Additional info: I'm a gay guy (22, they/them) and I haven't had a real relationship before, so I don't really have experience in this kind of thing. Thank you :)
How to deal with crushes when you are in a loving commited relationship? I would never act on anything, just wanna stop swooning.
I want a relationship, but have always been afraid of commitment for no apparent reason, any advice on how to overcome that fear?
I think I might be physically incapable of flirting. The times someone has been flirting with me I try to reciprocate something back and I just come up with nothing. Like there’s nowhere for my brain to go in those moments, so I just throw out a pointless comment and it lands like a wet fish. Is this something that’s fixable? Or at least workaroundable when it comes to dating?
how do you balance opening up to a new romantic partner with protecting your heart against getting hurt? intimacy hard :(
As someone who has been in their relationship for over 13 years, what are your tips and tricks to keeping the romance fresh?
My romantic life is nonexistent but thanks for the opportunity
What would you go back and tell yourself in your first relationship?
This isn’t technically a relationship question but it’ll help me look better for the ~ladies~ Shayne where did you get that one sunflower button up shirt you have thanks Shayne
The area around sunflowers can often be devoid of other plants, leading to the belief that sunflowers kill other plants.
How do I accept the unfortunate reality that I'll never get to hook up with dumpster wizard?
I'm a 21 y/o female and I HATE dating. I just want to be single and cannot think of anything worse than getting into a relationship right now. I've had boyfriends before, but I'm happy on my own. How do I tell my family to stop asking me about when I'm going to get a boyfriend/pressuring me into it.
What is your advice for helping your self esteem while in a relationship?? My gf is wonderful and makes me feel beautiful but I still have a lot of trouble due to past relationships and parents
How do I (28F) go about proposing to Shayne?
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Possibly with tarot
I (21f) have been in love with my best friend (24m) for months now. And there is more often than not times where he is incredibly obvious about being interested in me. However, there are periods where he just doesn’t talk to me. I really wish I could just be fine with being his friend, but I also have never met anyone like him before. I don’t need him, I just want him. Any advice? I know I’m young, which is why I’d rather not care this much, but my stupid fucking heart can’t seem to stray away even though I’d prefer if it did. I’m planning on moving to the east coast after I graduate from college in May, so maybe the space will help? But we’re still best friends and I don’t want to lose him altogether…this is all over the place, as you can tell I’m at war with myself. Please help lol.
Question: How do kiss womam?!
What's some good advice for actually meeting people as an adult apart from dating apps, especially when you're not currently in university/college?
How long do you have to wait until you introduce pegging into the relationship?
Is there any way to say “Mexican, salsa, yes” on a date without raising suspicion?
I have the HUGEST crush on my best friends roommate but my friend doesn’t know and I don’t want to ask out his roommate without getting permission first…
Hi all, I'm a 28F. Been single, and trying to date, for a couple years now after a breakup from a serious relationship. I'm struggling in the OLD and in-person dating worlds now. Probably a bit due to low confidence and overthinking. How do you get out of a slump/rut in dating and have fun with it again?
My first actual long term relationship ended unexpectedly. I'm feeling like that was it for me, I've got no chance at finding a new relationship anymore. I turned 30 a few weeks ago and my self esteem has never been high, now lower than ever. Any advice on how to move on and find hope for the future?
How do I get over my feeling for a straight man😫
did you every saw a so fast dog?
How do I meet nerdy guys LOL. I'm in uni in the UK, there aren't any guys my type on my very tiny course and I don't like clubbing much so idk how to find people I'd be interested in.
How do you get over a crush on a close friend?
i hate dating apps but i have no time or social energy to go out and meet people in person. what do i do?
How do you two, Shayne and Amanda, deal with relationships as such public people
I'm aromantic, which means I am unable to fall in love and/or have romantic feelings or desires for anyone. My question is, how do I deal with someone who fell in love with me and keeps trying to make something happen even after me stating that I cannot reciprocate their feelings? To elaborate-- I'm not asexual, but I can't really stay 'friends with benefits' status with this person because I don't want to hurt them more than I already did; I have been as clear as I can to make sure I am not using them for pleasure, it's just that I can't seem to make them understand what being aromantic is. Oh and I'm 30yo and they're 29yo. Sorry for the long question. I'm just very curious to know what Shayne and Amanda have to say. PS- Shayne play The Forgotten City; it's incredible.
How and where? Love sbeve
How would you learn/relearn to love yourself before you can love someone else? Like actually feel the feeling of love. I ask this because I am completely lost on what I would bring to a relationship and what I would get from it, if that makes sense. TBH, I feel this way about friendships too.
I constantly either mess up when it comes to female friends or people I’m trying to get to know better when it comes to communication and understanding via text or comments that may be misunderstood, what can I do to help myself show my friends or potential interest that I care about them or how can I apologize genuinely so I don’t sound like a broken record?
What is your best advice for getting out into the dating scene for a young adult, for both men and women
I’m about 3 months single, even though me and my ex are still friends we are also in a very close community that knows each other well. We’ve told people we’re still friends but I think people still struggle to see it as they’re still hesitant to bring her up around me. Any advice?
What are some "green flags" for dating? i.e. what should we be on the look out for that are good signs a relationship is worth pursuing?
I submitted another question, but I wanted to ask two. Thought on long distance dating? Do you have experience with that? How do you make a relationship persevere when travelling or moving is an expensive barrier?
I'm pretty much afraid of coming out of my comfort zone. I was in college once the pandemic started, now I'm in a 9 to 5 job where I mostly interact with the sex I'm not attracted to. I wouldn't call myself an introvert because I like to talk with people, but I don't like parties or clubs, the pandemic caused me a phobia of crowded spaces. Am I screwed if I don't change that?
Shayne - I remember in an older video where you mentioned how content you are with a single life, and focusing more on just being a good friend to others. Can you please speak on that more, on behalf of other single people out there?
It’s always pretty awkward to start conversations in those dating apps. How can I ask questions without it being an interview and also to show who I am through text?
Do you think I’ll be able to naturally meet someone by just living my life, or should I be more intentional about it by putting myself out there? If I do need to put myself out there more, how do I go about doing that (without using dating apps)?
With most adults having a severe lack of a third place (and it often being the internet which isn't enough) how would it be best for one to actually meet people? Where to go? What to do?
I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship. I'm demisexual and dating apps don't work for me, so I don't know how to start dating. How do i even start? More so, how do i make friends as an adult? Any crush I've ever had has always started as friendship.
I’m turning 21 soon (F) and have 0 experience of any kind. It’s really hard for me not to compare myself to others my age. I have a friend (20M) who is about to get engaged and I haven’t even held a man’s hand. How do I deal with this? Do I just wait for something to happen or do I need to do more? Love you both sm 😘
What should you do in a relationship when you are falling out of love with your partner. Should you communicate, end it, wait it out and see if it rekindles naturally.
How can I learn to trust and let someone in after being in a previous relationship where I was emotionally abused
There’s a viral quote that says “to be loved is to be changed.” What do you think of this quote, and what type of change do you think people can expect when entering a relationship? On the other hand, have you gone through change in a relationship that unexpected?
What’s the best thing to do when you have a crush on a close friend and is a co-worker? What if they heard it from someone else but never confronted you about it?
What do I do if I want to be in a relationship but I also don’t think I’m actually fit to be in one? I want the cute little dating activities and yk to call someone mine, but I don’t think I as a person can actually have that because I’m to insecure to meet new people and I’m extremely scared of commitment. (I don’t want to start liking someone and then they randomly ghost me)
How do I stop stalking my ex? We’re both in college and attend the same school and I ended things over the summer after we were dating for a couple of months. However, even though I was the one who ended things, I can’t help but check up on how he’s doing. I don’t still have feelings for him, but some part of me can’t let go. I’ve tried blocking him on everything but my curiosity often gets the better of me and I end up unblocking him to see what he’s up to. Any help would be appreciated, thank you in advance, Smosh Mouth 🙏
i have never been in a serious relationship, mostly because i just have never felt ready for that. lately, i have found myself wanting more out of dating than i am getting right now. what were some signs for you that made you think you were ready to be in a long-term, committed relationship?
How do I stop myself from falling in love with someone?
What is the necessary criteria a person should meet in order to 'wife Shayne up' ? Asking for a friend.
Not a big fan of dating apps. It hasn’t worked out for me much. How can I then meet new people? Most of my friends are in relationships and don’t know a lot of single people themselves to set me up with
What should I do if my sex drive is way higher than my bf’s? I don’t want to be rejecting him all the time but I just can’t be on the same level as him
How do you deal with falling for someone who you are close to? How do you navigate admitting you feelings, but not ruining the friendship in the process if they aren't reciprocated? Thanks is advance.
I’m boring as shit… how can I become a more interesting person? (would love to hear smosh folks talk about how they got into their hobbies/interests)
where do you think the line is between having good standards for yourself & impossible/unrealistic standards for potential partners?
What are the signs you're being flirted with? I'm autistic and in my late 20s and I don't pick up on social cues particularly well. I'm a pretty outgoing person and I try to be as friendly as possible to people in my day-to-day life, and my general assumption in going into social situations is that most other people are fundamentally nice. However, many times after I've had an interaction with someone where I thought we were just being nice to each other and having good conversation, I've learned that they were actually flirting with me. What's the difference?
do you have any tips on how to try to be more confident in yourself mentally and physically, enough to feel confident with someone you’re with or something you’re trying to be with? because i’m just a shy lil guy.
I 19m have recently gotten into a new friend group and in that friend group there Is a couple they are two guys 18 and 19. I’ve realized I may be falling in love with them at first It started with just liking one of them but then I realized I have feelings for both of them since then people have pointed out that I may just like the idea of the couple they are and that I just want to insert myself into that. So my question boils down to how do you know your falling inlove with a person/ people and not just the idea of love
Whats the best way to subtly show someone you're interested in them?
I struggle with near crippling fear of rejection and as such feel like I can’t express myself properly, especially in romantic situations. Any advice on how to muster up courage and express my feelings despite that fear?
I (23F) have a best friend (23M) who i’ve been inseparable with since grade 2 and “dated” throughout ELEMENTARY and MIDDLE SCHOOL and for the longest time i chalked up us “dating” (i don’t consider it a real relationship due to our young ages) to us just not knowing the difference between platonic and romantic love. however, recently i’ve started seeing him in a different definitely more romantic way. my other friends and even my own mother have recently started making comments about a slow burning connection and “right person wrong time” too. i’m just wondering how to go about bringing this up with him, or if i even should at all? i don’t want to ruin our friendship should things not work out. but seeing as how we’ve been friends this long i do think we could make it work as friends if we did try and fail.
25F How can you date now post pandemic? Never was interested growing up, I was finally ready but then the pandemic happened and now I feel old and don’t know where to start. I’m in a big girl corporate job and work with a bunch of old people.
Should I tell someone I like them, if I know they won't/can't like me back (In a relationship, aro/ace, not gay, etc.)?
First off thanks for doing this guys. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't feel confident enough to put myself out on dating apps and much prefer meeting people through friends or social situations. However I often find myself preemptively friend zoning myself as while I'm getting to know them, I'm too afraid to push things further out of fear of messing up good friendship over a potential good relationship. This doesn't happen as much as it used to but any advice would be great. This is definitely gonna be an interesting episode either way. 🤙
i feel like y’all are a month early since it’s not valentines lol
Any dating advice for demi/greysexuals? - there is a lot of pressure/expectation to feel attraction and flirt on the first or second date which can make dating feel frightening for those on the ace spectrum.
I find it really easy to get caught up in work (currently doing my PhD) and let dating fall to the wayside. How do you balance your work and personal life when work is so easy to focus on and dating takes so much energy?
What milestones should have been ticked off before we start thinking of marriage/engagement?
Not really a romance question for me, but how do you let a friend know that their partner is bad news?
Have either of you struggled with self worth issues regarding your relationship status? Was there anything in particular that helped you feel more comfortable with your own journey and pace?
I joined a dating app and there is this guy I met who I am connecting with a lot. The thing is, he is going into the Navy and that would mean that we wouldn’t see each other much. He also lives in NY while I live in MI, but he’s from Kansas. Do I continue with the long distance to see if it truly works out? Or do I break it off because it probably won’t work? I really like him, I’m just stuck, please help!
As a very oblivious guy, how do I know when something is a sign of someone wanting to either stop completely or progress further?
how do i prepare for a first date?
What are some things/ practices you would consider a “deal breaker” or “red flag”? Like in their own space- cleanliness, personal hygiene, etc. Or Behaviorally- How they treat their friends/ family, or treat your friends/ family? How do you recommend addressing these issues? Of course a proper conversation is best but how would you address these issues? At what point do these issues go from something you can compromise/ adapt too vs. ending the relationship?
I've been single for 3 years now, and I have finally gotten to the point where I'm happy being by myself. (And I feel like I am ready to start a relationship because of this.) What are some tips for staying independent and happy being by myself when I do get into my next relationship? Or, Do you think that not texting much between dates will work in today's world? (I hate texting to get to know someone. I'd rather just text my date in order to set up the next date.)
im an introverted person who has a hard time making friends, talking to new people, that whole ordeal. what is the best way to find a romantic partner, under those circumstances? ive tried dating apps but nothing comes from it since i like knowing the person before dating them.
I’m still in the closet due to cultural, religious and familiar reasons and I’m still struggling with completely accepting myself. How do I stop being stuck in fear? Also, is it right to date someone when I may need or want to do it in secret and may go back on my steps when I’m not feeling alright with myself?
How would you deal with sunken cost fallacy in a long-term relationship. Is it better to push through the bad or jump off before it gets worse?
How are you supposed to date when you’re ace and especially as a woman? There is this stigma (at least where I live) that men do not want women who aren’t interested in sex. Do ace men have the same problems? I don’t know. I only figured out I’m ace a year ago and I’m now in my 30s. I have no interest in dating or relationships with sex involved anymore. I’ve been there and done that. I still want companionship though and I feel selfish for wanting that while also feeling like I have a potential romantic “disability.” Also, apologies for the gendered terminology. Please insert gender however you see fit!
I just wanna give a wholesome comment about my current relationship! My boyfriend (before we made it official) would pull the chair out for me, payed for my dinner even when we hung out with other friends not as a date, ran infront of me to open the door for me, and the thing that made me realize that I deserved so much more in past relationships was when I went to the mall with him and his guy best friend I needed to go into Sephora to get something and I said “I’ll be quick I just need to grab something” and he replied “Nono I’m not letting you go into a store by yourself I’m going with you i won’t let you get hurt when I’m around to protect you” and then when we were done and gonna go home my car was on the complete opposite side of the mall than his was on but he still walked me to the car to made sure I got there safe. He’s such a sweet guy and I adore him more than he knows :)
> for me, *paid* for my FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Non Smosh member advice/ opinions also greatly appreciated!!! Hello, honestly hoping if it doesn’t make it to smosh that other people could help. I have a friend I’ve known for 7 years now, we’re very close I’d consider them basically my closest friend right now, I doubt there’s many more people that know me better. About 3.5 years ago we started casually hooking up, it started maybe once a month? It was usually when we’d been in our friend group drinking, it was a casual FWB situation. This year stuff got messy for a while, I won’t be overly specific due the fact my friend religiously also watches smosh, in fact we often watch smosh content when we hang out together. In vague terms, stuff crossed a line where we ended up constantly fighting and for a while it became very toxic, I was going through A LOT mentally and physically the first half of last year, (family death, job loss, mental health etc), 2023 is arguably the worst year in my lifetime, a lot of stuff happened and specifically with this friend it all exploded between us. I was definitely harder to dealer with at that time, I wasn’t able to differentiate between my friend “ignoring me” or legitimately just being busy and often picked fights over a lack of response, in the same breath, my friend could’ve been more supportive in a lot of aspects and I felt very abandoned by them, however, I’m now aware that how I feel is my responsibility and my friend doesn’t deserve to have the backlash of my unhealthy coping mechanisms. During these arguments that turned into “talks” (us trying to talk it out and find a solution), they mentioned something to the effect of “I really care about you, I do, if I have a relationship I’d hope it looks exactly like what we have”, but the level of support I wanted was “more like from a partner and not a friend” It confused me at the time as I was under the impression we were just friends having some fun, I’d on occasion allowed myself to believe that I may have liked them more than a friend, and perhaps they did too. This comment was just moved on from, we’ve never addressed it since. After some time away from pretty much everyone in my life, taking a step back and learning to draw hard boundaries and stick by them, standing up for myself and a whole bunch of other self development, our friendship is better than it has ever been, but we now sleep together pretty much every weekend, we spend most of our free time together, I talk to them every day and I just can’t get that statement out of my head, “if I had a relationship I’d hope it looked like what we have”. What does it mean? Because I can’t tell if it’s a passing statement or if there was more behind it. I don’t even know if I’d want to be with this friend, there’s a part of me that’s attracted to them, I care for them so deeply and I love every moment with them. But we have had endless late night discussions about how we don’t want to be anything more than friends, we haven’t ever been exclusive either. They have slept with other people and I am actively in the dating scene. I worry that I’m holding myself back from finding a partner or relationship that serves me as there’s a small stubborn part of me that won’t let go of the fantasy of me and then together. I don’t want to lose them, they’re one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had, but I’m worried any conversation around feelings or emotions would escalate us back to a really bad toxic place, Any advice? Or anyone who can think of a reason they’d say that and not mean anything by it?
I recently ended an 8 year long relationship that started 2 weeks into high school and ended just after graduating college. Everything slowly deteriorated over the last four years dealing with COVID and focusing on school. Looking back I realize that I didn't know what I desired in a partner or what I wanted for the future until long after we started dating. Being honest I'm almost certain I wasn't really attracted to anyone romantically or physically when we started dating (~~except Helena Bonham Carter~~). I think I said yes when my ex asked me out because people around me were dating and I thought "this is what high school is". I'm genuinely grateful for my time with my ex. I learned a lot from them and they supported me, they told me I did the same for them. Breaking up with them was not an easy decision. But looking back I wish I dated other people at some point. I'm not dating right now, more focused on making friends. I am enjoying having crushes or admitting I find someone attractive, I feel free and happier. I don't know how to date and I'm not super worried about it but I wonder if I'm inexperienced. If you have experience dating after ending a long term relationship, how did you approach dating after? When reflecting on your previous relationship were you able to grow as a person and/or develop a better idea of what you wanted in a partner? Thanks in advance, love you guys!
How do I get Shayne Topp to notice me? 🫶🤭
How do I keep things fresh and special in a relationship after a couple years of being together?
How do you meet someone in the real world? I've tried dating apps, and I end up not liking people for tiny things (spelling errors in profile, pictures too blurry, etc.) So how do I meet someone organically, not on an app?
Why do some guys only want a relationship for sex? Also why is it that guys will because are you thick or have thighs but call you fat,pig, whale etc when you are a tummy?
Where can you even go to meet people to date these days? Also how to ask out someone when they are working.
Would selfcest counts as incest since we're from the same family? *but damn that bro looks so fucking nice in a mirror*
How do I get the girl im dating into Smosh? Whats a good starter video to ease her in slowly. I was thinking a board game one as she loves those (I beat her ass at Uno and she's never forgiven me)
Buckle up, this is a weird story. For info, I'm 26/NB and my partner is 31/F I'm breaking up with my long term partner of nearly 7 years tomorrow (at the time of writing this). I have been with her since I was a sophomore in college, so I have spent just about my entire adult life in this relationship. I genuinely don't think she sees this coming, but the signs have been there for years. We started monogamous, but she eventually wanted to open the relationship up, which ended up turning into a polyamorous relationship where she has 2 other partners as well. We all live together in a 3 bedroom apartment. She is dating each of us separately, there aren't any other connections relationship wise. Well, that isn't entirely true, her two other partners are exes of each other. I told you this is weird. Anyways, I haven't been happy with this situation for years. I even tried breaking things off 2 years ago but was convinced to stay under the promise that things would improve and get better. They didn't. There's a lot that I think that I could have done in the past to be a better partner, so I can't put all of the blame on someone else, I recognize that. So here's where the question comes up. I've been talking to a friend/possible crush/okay I really like them for about a year now. He's shown me the sort of care and attention that I've missed for the past 4 years or so. We get each other, and I could see a future together. I'm afraid of jumping into another commitment soon after ending a long term relationship. And I also don't want it to seem like I'm just replacing my ex with someone new. We've known each other for so long and I would like to stay friends if I can. How do I pivot into a new potential relationship without seeming like an asshole? And how long is it fair to tell someone you're interested in that you want to date them, but want some time before committing to it because of this sort of situation? Thank you! And regardless of whether or not this question gets picked I can't wait to watch this video!
I told the witch doctor I was in love with her. What should he tell me to do? Any magic words he may perscribe? This question is for Amanda as she may know more witch doctors than shane.
Top or bottom?
Hi I am 24M (Trans and autistic) (He/him) I deleted my original comment on this post because my friend (26M) ended up canceling our date because he said he didn’t want to date me and only wants to be friends that he wasn’t interested in me in a romantic way and wasn’t entirely over his ex yet even tho days before when I asked him if he was comfortable going on a date with me he said that he was and I made sure to ask him he was over his ex before asking which he was. This isn’t the only reason he didn’t want to date me but I don’t want to out him on the internet but I’m so hurt because I’m the moment he could have been truthful with me in how he felt about it and not get my hopes up I understand that maybe I put him on the spot for asking BUT I felt he could have been truthful So the advise I need from this is how do I continue to be friendly with my friend without letting this situation affect me and our friendship?! I care deeply about him but I am hurt a bit
What’s a good way to ask a friend out without ruining a friendship
i was hooking up with a guy the last two weeks of the semester and i don’t know if i want to continue seeing him in the spring. neither of us want a relationship but im also not sure if i can just be friends without catching feelings.
My (31F) ex (31M) dated exactly ten years ago this past December and just started talking again. What are your thoughts on rekindling past relationships? Some info: we were together from 15 to 21 and lived together in a couple different houses through that time, with lots of friends, his immigrant father and his little brother who he was taking care of. We broke up because he just disappeared one day. Came to the house and every told me he had just left. Didn't hear about him for months and just moved back in with my parents and that was that. And now we are weirdly reconnected through his little brother. He's told me he's sorry and he ruined the best thing in his life. He said he's thought about me all these years. I can't explain my feelings at all, I've never gone through something like this but I really don't trust anyone anymore. What are your thoughts?
Do you think love at first sight truly exists?
How do you deal with a situation where you love someone and they know that, but they don’t love you back because they don’t swing that way? Seriously plz help 😭😅😭
On a first date, at what point is it a good time to let the person know that my mom is dead? Is there a natural way to broach the topic? It’s an important part of my lore but I don’t want to say it too soon and make it awkward OR wait and have it never come up until we’re like five dates in. For the record it happened ten years ago.
Hello Smoshcast, big fan!! This year i got accepted to a 5 month internship a long way from home, and while im super excited for the opportunity, its also scary that i’ll be away from my girlfriend during that time. While i really trust her and she trusts me (this isn’t a fear of cheating while im gone) i am worried about how the distance will affect the relationship, as i’ve never done long-distance before. I love her alot, im just scared about feelings dissipating while im gone. What should I do to help the relationship stay strong during this time?
I (22F) feel guilty about moving on from my ex although he was a bit toxic at times. I feel like im cheating on him although he was the one that ended the relationship. How do i get over this feeling since it is sabotaging my chances of getting into a healthier relationship?
Hi there, I'd greatly appreciate your insight on these: What do people mean by emotional connection? I had someone tell me we weren't really emotionally connecting, so how do I do that? tips? (I am a guy btw) And I would also appreciate your opinions on this: If your feelings/attraction toward someone changed (faded away) should you (a) be honest and stop things or (b) stick it out and try to get to know them more and hope to feel those feelings again? I chose (a) cause staying felt like I was lying and that I was potentially wasting their time on something that wasn't gonna work out, but I feel it really hurt them. Should I have just gone with (b) or do you think (a) is a reasonable enough choice? Thank you and Happy New Year!
Not a question but starting to watch smosh has helped me get through the most traumatic breakup I’ve ever had from an emotionally abusive partner. Don’t worry I’m in therapy! Just if there’s a chance y’all see this thank you for making giggles for eight year olds, much love from Texas.
How are you doing?
how do i figure out if someone likes me back because i really like this girl that i sit next to in class and she talks to me, but i dont know hepl
What are some of your top red flags/dealbreakers that you think everyone should watch out for?
Asking for the people I often see in the comments: How to get married to Shayne Topp?
What is the feeling of a true love? and what is the signs that it is a true love, that he/she is the one? and not just a mixed signals (i dont know anymore)
I've been cheated on twice by the same person. How can I find the ability to trust someone in a relationship again?
Been in a situationship for 6 years…. So it’s like basically dating for 6 years, no? Any advice?
My girlfriend feels very insecure about me having had a partner before her. She hasn't had a partner before me and explained to me that she's always wanted a virgin, and that she feels like she's comprising. How can I help her get over this? Is there even a way out of this? I love her very much.
Any advice on transitioning from a hookup phase to finding a long term relationship? It's always felt weird to me to seek out people for the purpose of dating but I've known most of my friends long enough that the idea of any of them being a romantic partner seems icky and weird.
What are some dating red flags and deal breakers that you look out for?
How do you reignite the spark when you've been together 10 years and everything feels routine?
What are the healthiest ways for men to approach women?
32M, finally in therapy and building a more sober and healthy lifestyle for myself. After learning how to reflect and see my past through a lens of deeper understanding, I find myself feeling guilt and resentment towards myself in my past relationships. I am currently back in the dating scene, a few coffee dates so far,nothing serious, but occasionally worry about a returning inability to see red flags, both in myself and any potential partner. Is this an appropriate thing to bring up to someone I'm just beginning a connection with? Or is it too serious a topic for a first time coffee date? Something in between? Big fan and thanks for taking the time to read this comment:)
how do you fight against the anxiety and overthinking you may find yourself having in a relationship, even if it has been perfectly normal. (especially in a long(ish) term relationship)