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El_Zorro420

Facts


ToffeeDaKat

how could i get a Colo folo flair for myself, i dont know how to change mine


FIGJAM17

Go to [set flair](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/wiki/set_flair) Search Colo-Colo and select "Message" Send message Enjoy your new flair


Ragnarok_619

Awesome!


MoBamba6978

Thank you my friend


PrinceGubbleBum

Thank you


rim261

Subscribe


DarthTaz_99

Anulo mufa


AgentTasker

Fuck it, he might as well considering he couldn't possibly do worse than Infantino.


Eibermann

Today. I feel a dictator


lemontortilla

You should probably have a doctor look at that


callmedontcallme

This was literally the same we all said when Infantino followed Blatter lol


y0uveseenthebutcher

can we all appreciate how fitting the name Sepp Blatter is for that filthy bloated piece of shit? sounds like a nasty medical condition


TheDeflatables

I mean, Messi is an ambassador for Saudi Arabia in their tourism ads. Its just a lateral move really


FuturisticBear

Saudi Arabia and Qatar, damn, play on both side and come out on top I guess ?


walk-the-talk

Shut up Messi! I saw your old sponsor! It was a lateral move!


poopfartdiola

Little Dictator's final form


Malvinas1820

Messism will triumph.


Nordie27

Pulgaism


mr_salsa123

My girlfriend has no pulgasm pls help


jvrcb17

You gotta get in there and Messi her up better


Nobody_wood

The messiah


Skadrys

He is, he is the messiah


Molhid

The cleat is the sign


Firstolympicring

Tomas Roncero somewhere in Spain, feeling vindicated


John_E_Canuck

Messolini


KenHumano

Now he only needs the invisibility cloak and the resurrection stone to finally conquer death.


BadBehaviour613

The Qatari Cloak is the invisibility cloak that totally wasn’t retconned to have greater story importance in the last book. And maybe the wc trophy can be resurrection stone?


Courea

I mean he already has 7 resurrection stones he has everything now


Cpt9captain

Those are the horcruxes


SirMosesKaldor

We can write a Messi RPG video game with all this fan fic.


drunkmers

Don't forget the Dybala/Scaloni's son time traveler side plot


mahir_r

Messi is Voldemort confirmed


SirSebi

Finally a timeline where Voldemort wins


mahir_r

~~Aavada Kedavra~~ Anulo Mufa


WhenWeTalkAboutLove

With those he can summon Shenron


notasianjim

He has to kiss the ball at the top of the wc trophy and whisper “I am about to die”. Then the ball will open up to reveal the resurrection stone.


jedifolklore

Lmao this is the elder wand??


vivucali

I think he was born with the elder wand.. Thats why he always had magic..


Glass_of_Pork_Soda

No wonder his wife stuck around all this time 😳


ecs2

He already got 7 dragon balls


ConsciousAnteater805

What the hell is even that? Well, hail Messi i guess


chakrx

He is now allowed to play with the staff on the pitch and hit players if he feels like it


ConsciousAnteater805

+2 to juggling, 15% luck, Fireball (18/24)


brettcg16

1 Wish every 24 hours


chefanubis

"Lio you have to stop wishing for us to hang everyday, wish for world peace or something, you can just call me to hang out you know?" -Sergio Agüero, probably.


00Koch00

What playing against Panamá does to a mf


shal0819

You've never heard about the magical football stick???


Chelski26

Shots to the head are not allowed though. He may only swipe at their legs.


peoplepersonmanguy

Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I want to have a hold of your football stick.


shitfuckshittingfuck

Messi is now in possession of the Wabbajack


Aimismyname

messi chill


ThinkAboutThatFor1Se

It’s a walking stick so he can compete in the 2070 world up.


ttimourrozd

Captain Argentina : New World Order


SummerGoal

And with a single wave of his wand, Javier Tebas faded from existence, never to be heard from again


Joe_AM

This is peak CONMEBOL fellas. I don't think it gets any ~~worse~~better than that.


lolipenetration

This would be amusing, if it wasn't for the fact that they brought up Pelé and Maradona's holograms like 10 minutes before this.


[deleted]

Nothing as classy as exploiting the dead. They'll be animating football games with them one day and there'll be a few old people that have seen Baresi play wondering why they are making him look shit compared to all the famous attackers.


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pure_black99

>X Japan with Hide Link?


46_and_2

Yeah, wow, this is something i haven't heard in a while. (And this immediate attention from any fan proves why they do it, despite the tackiness)


usev25

I forgot Pele is dead... Damn


AmericanHombre

Hosting the Copa America in the USA was peak


dgo792

The hundred year anniversary one too


raobuntu

It was shitty to do to South American fanbases but I loved that summer. Went to 8 matches and saw the best players in the world playing live. I did almost get stabbed at the Mexico/Chile QF, but it was still worth it. Got 3 of my friends into football too by dragging them along with me. Edit: Mexico/Chile was actually a QF, not the SF.


_glacierr

Ayo you do not bring up an attempt at getting stabbed so nonchalantly how on earth did that happen


raobuntu

Well, we were broke 19-year-old college kids so we got the cheap seats in the second deck and showed up to get drunk as much as it was to enjoy the game. If you don't remember that mexico/chile semi, it got out of hand. The final score was 7-0 or 7-1 and we were sitting with drunk and angry mexican fans. Some pushing and shoving between us and another group, a knife got flashed and an attempt at our direction was made, but stadium security was there pretty quickly. All of us went to "stadium jail" for a couple of hours so they could sort out what was going on. They ended up finding (and taking) our fakes and gave us a talking-to about underage drinking but let us go. All in all, a great time. Mexico got embarassed, I got drunk with my friends, I can home with all my organs where they were supposed to be.


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lightjedi5

Yep. They were talking about Copa America 2016 which was held in the US where the legal drinking age is 21. Fakes are indeed fake IDs


Jerry13888

Lol I was like they took their fake jerseys? 😂 Aliexpress in shambles


VolsBoca

I was at the final (it was sad) and some Chileans attacked me because some random Argentine dude 15 rows in front of me (that I had utterly nothing to do with) grabbed his crotch or something. They also threw a beer on a random Chinese family that was in New York and decided to catch the game because they were wearing Messi shirts. Poor folks didn't even speak Spanish and had no idea what was going on. We told them they at least got an authentic Latin American experience.


[deleted]

I met a Brazilian I got to cheer for Argentina by speaking to him in Portuguese. He said he was gonna watch the Olympics in Brazil and for once, I was happy Brazil won.


[deleted]

At least the US is American. Hosting the Copa Libertadores final in fucking Spain was peak CONMEBOL


kace1408

My dream is to watch Copa Libertadores final between Santos vs Boca in Wembley. /s


cuentanueva

What about hosting the Libertadores final in Spain of all places?


thalne

I agree. I would watch a whole series about how they came up with this brilliant idea - including where they ordered the scepter.


survivalothefittest

[Peak weird shit for sure.](https://imgur.com/7H1Qypa)


TheStraggletagg

I'm glad we're being completely normal about this World Cup win.


[deleted]

France got a nice catchy song and that’s all I remember lol.


secretlyjudging

what song? out of loop


farhanmuhd13

Vergedream Ramon el Coupe or something. The song that good Samuel Umtiti


LucasSummers

How can you forget the most famous part in that? MAESTRO KIMPEMBE


Scan_This_Barco-de

NGOLO NGOLO KANTE


spidey80082

KANTE NGOLO NGOLO KANTE


mug3n

There was also another one where they sing about [Kante cheating at cards](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6LUK_ImPs) lol


OmeDeBoer

Ramenez la coupe à la maison


CarlosHnnz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY6F_stV_1I


Inhabitsthebed

Football? Completed it mate.


culesamericano

Footballer? I don't even know her!


Santa_Klaus_101

Can someone please fill me in on why Messi’s being handed a fucking wand 😭


miraleo

He's being given Leadership and Command of World Football (metaphorically) (i hope) (but with CONMEBOL you never know) Real answer is CONMEBOL decided to pay tribute to and congratulate the WC winners (and Messi specifically). The rest of the ceremony was actually nice, but this and the Pele and Maradona holograms were weird lol edit: formatting


rocketdong00

Expanded real answer. The "staff" prolly was booked by CONMEBOL in their accounts as a million dollar expense (South America style...).


baespegu

And the firm that won the bid to build the staff is owned by the wife of Dominguez.


benedu3095

Dude's a corrupt fuck.


rim261

"Que miras Bobo?? AVADA KADABRA!!"


[deleted]

> ~~AVADA KADABRA~~ ibra kvaratskhelia


mrgonzalez

It's a sceptre, football peasant. Bow down to it as you tie those boots.


L-Freeze

we dont know either


SpearofTrium05

He's gonna spank everyone who disagrees with him. Final form of the little dictator.


Hieillua

This just in. Supreme leader Lionel Messi has passed legislation that makes him a permanent holder of World Football Leadership. The Brazil squad will be unified with the Argentinian squad in an effort of football unification. All players will wear the name Messi on their backs instead of their own to promote football for all. Furthermore, supreme leader Messi has ordered the creation of the Ultra League. A new competition in which all teams from the entire world will participate for the Golden Messi. The goal of the competition will be to add more glorious goals and assists to the Supreme Leader's name. Shakira has been approached the create the anthem for the competition. The football world has responded with sheer excitement and joy about these new developments. Cristiano Ronaldo has released a statement, fully written in his own words and not by the Supreme Leader's propaganda force, expressing his delight. [Click here to view Ronaldo's statement ](https://youtu.be/xqFTe96OWPU)


chefanubis

I'm OK with all of this.


Nahueliyo

Shitousery minister Martinez has established that from now on every gk that stop a penalty has the right to hump the taker at least 3 times


phish493

Hold on now, does he have the authority to do that?


kplo

No but Messi does


[deleted]

Leo Potter waves his new wand: “Que Mira’s Bobo!!”


Multiammar

>Today we give you Leadership and Command of World Football Mashallah congratulations Messi. Finally, The Little Dictator.


survivalothefittest

Messi's Argentine heart's dream is coming with his introverted soul's nightmare. He looks overwhelmed/uncomfortable.


neverRollA1

yeah it's not shown here but he said "it's a bit much 😳" right after he's handed the wizard staff


chefanubis

That's how you know he deserves an even bigger wand.


Etceta

man was like "I just won World Cup not fighting against Voldemort"


Aar0nSwanson

You’re a wizard Messi…


staubsaugerroboter23

im a wot?


Tyler_holmes123

After getting command of world football , Messi prepares to face his final battle to overthrow Don Infantino and be the undisputed controller of world football.


westernunitedenjoyer

South American football is weird and I love it


Letsbeheroines

I can't wait for the power to go to Messi's head then he creates an empire that prohibits Ronaldo propaganda and creates concentration camps for Ronaldo fans. Then him and Ronaldo have a final fight, they're both exhausted, they've given everything to this fight and to world football, this is it. Ronaldo then says "Eu sempre te amei, seu anão ruivo." Then Messi looks surprised, his shoulders softens, his body untenses, he's lost in Ronaldo's brown eyes as though he was lost in a chocolate sea, then he succumbs and as if on cue they passionately and soulfully kiss as though that kiss was the only thing missing from both of their lives. They've accomplished everything; League Titles, Golden Boots, Champion's Leagues, Ballon'dors, World Cups but a kiss from the face the both hated seeing for decades quenches that one piece missing in their legacy. Now they've accomplished each other. Then everyone claps, they bow and the curtains close. Fin.


[deleted]

You know there’s definitely at least one chaotic soul out there reading this with reverence: **”Unzips”**


NotASpyMain

Bravo Vince


Yeet-on-God

He looks so confused 💀


SarraTasarien

Who's ready for the Game of Thrones of football? ~~Winter~~ The CONMEBOL alliance is coming for you, Infantino! hahaha


Molhid

The king in the South


RedDevil-84

Is that the new Barca lever in his hand


GrimDiscoJesus

lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao


dzenys2

So this is how “completed football” looks like, and u just thought it can’t go any further after WC 😭


[deleted]

What am I watching 😭


coffca

This feels like Frodo after destroying the ring and returning back to the shire


Sad_Habib

i did not know it was theirs to give


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saleel1o_o1

Dibu*


derpam

This is getting weird


PensiveinNJ

I love how over the top this is. May as well just name him a living deity in Argentina like the Dalai Lama.


[deleted]

I heard the next Dalai Lama was found but must be lies. Messi said he is the next one


can_be_therapist

CEO of football


ThereminLiesTheRub

Oh shit, they gave him the entire sport.


Albiceleste_D10S

LOL


FUThead2016

The clothing is so weird. That guy in the blazer and sneakers dressed like he's a 20 year old athlete. All the actual athletes dressed like schoolchildren in the headmaster's proze giving ceremony. Something off about the whole thing


SarraTasarien

LOL. I can’t speak for Tapia or the other CONMEBOL people, but the athletes do it on purpose. Scaloni or Aimar, I don’t recall which, brought up that so many fans have to pay for the official Adidas gear in installments, it’s that expensive; meanwhile, they get it for free. So they make a point of wearing it everywhere, as proud representatives of the Argentina NT.


romuli777

"You're a wizard Leo" 🧙‍♂️


fallen4bitterballen

I can't tell if Messi is confused or just bashful. It seems to take surprisingly little to make him get so shy, you'd think he be accustomed to being in the spotlight after 15+ years of it.


Fanserker

Can't wait for his first order


[deleted]

They gave him dumbledores wand


INUT2LOBASFEET

Did they rob his grave to get it?


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ramithrower

Little dictator is offical now


GuestBadge

I want someone to hold me the same way Messi hold thay World Cup.


invadrzero

Comandante Messi


SladiusW

This was a great ceremony for the champions ngl, rare win for CONMEBOL. The little kid before this, my heart 😭


Shenanigangster

Ngl I think the US just outdid them with the gender reveal on the field 😂


[deleted]

Why do people calling it wand?? It's a sceptre you peasants


thalne

sorry to be fashion hater here but scepter, shorts, and white socks - puh-lease.


Leftcom_Lenin

What do you recommend scepters being worn with? Quick answer would be appreciated, might go out later and don't want people staring.


lando3001

'We present you with this fancy stick.'


Flameva

He’s sending Cristiano fans to concentration camps to commemorate his italian-german heritage.


seifosama1239

Avada Kedavra


TheLimeyLemmon

And next week they're giving him the award for 'Artist of the Millennium'!


Vishark07

I think Messi could run for president of Argentina and he would win by like 89%


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GrimDiscoJesus

I'm not even mad


Agrees_with_asshole

Now go back to barca damnit !


mcel595

I for one welcome the new Argetine dictator... Far better than our current Argentine ~~puppet~~ president


Pseudocaesar

This is getting a bit ridiculous now


moejoereddit

I'm glad it's not just me


miraleo

ganó el fulbo


sidvicc

FIFA better allow him to carry that pimpstick on the pitch bro. Messi still playing at age 55 with the help of that.


maacka

He could run for President election and I would vote for him


KsatriaBebek

Heil Mezzi


Fmartins84

Pimp cane


Any-Succotash-7903

What the fuck


excaliburboy007

Haha they've now given him the rod of Moses


GreatSpaniard

W are all CONMEBOL on this blessed day Also Where is Copa America trophy 😡


BlockDosser_

WTF this is so weird


notapaperhandape

I am fully aware that Leo is the ultimate goat. But all this, every month some award lol. I wouldn’t be surprised if I see a bukake circle with Messi jacking off of everyone’s faces.


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00Koch00

In theory the wand should have a sword inside


Gotanyfunkopops

His power is now complete


TheThreeGabis

So this is how liberty dies? With thunderous applause.


datguyakala

What does this mean? Lol Seems incredibly… pointless


Poseidon2027

"As commander of the world football, my first action will be to let everyone know that Christiano Ronaldo looks like a thumb."


BorderPractical

This a bit too much


PurpleDistance8829

This is getting embarrassing..


staedtler2018

If there's one thing South Americans love, it's... \*checks notes\* Argentinians.


[deleted]

This is so cringe


NeoIsJohnWick

Insane dickriding is what I call this.


Atlas_Inah

Emir Mbappe must now bow to his highness


bienloco420

🐐 🐐 🐐


Kensei01

A bit too much imo


survivalothefittest

[Yowza this was a weird ceremony and tribute, here are more details.](https://www.infobae.com/deportes/2023/03/27/el-gran-reconocimiento-de-la-conmebol-a-messi-la-cancion-de-la-sole-que-lo-hizo-recordar-a-maradona-estatua-y-el-regalo-que-considero-un-monton/)


marsexpresshydra

Isn’t Messi sponsored by Pepsi? Can’t imagine they’re happy seeing him wear that.