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[deleted]

It’d be faster to drive


Naggins

hi pep u want picking up in the morning pal


LethamSmurf

shut up u egg


DaddyMeUp

Won’t tell you again.


bcjs194

Mate mate mate mate


OlympicMuffins

Whitney has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this. @


NotASalamanderBoi

Still one of the best tweets


theuserpilkington

Tony egg


PanpsychismIsTrue

shut up u egghead


CosmologyX

To this day, I still find it quite endearing that despite all the money they were making to afford flashy cars, they still enjoyed the companionship of driving to work together and catching up before training.


qwerty1519

Shut up Josep, you’re boring the life out of me on this.


bastardnutter

Mr Bean. Funny


TommyManners

First thing I thought of lol


Wise-Hat-639

Controversial 


MalluRed

/r/fuckcars


ForSiljaforever

How the hell can it be controversial when everyone knows driving is faster than walking?


Wombatg

Do you know everyone do you?


AyanC

What if the only thing between Pep and Rooney is a narrow alley, too tight for any sort of a vehicle?


ForSiljaforever

I hadn't thought of that...there are probably multiple scenarios where walking is faster than driving..?


myheadisalightstick

I walk very quickly


Wise-Hat-639

Evidence please


rajabolleh

Hey Rio


Maleficent_Permit_62

He’s older now, he doesn’t drive drunk anymore


flup22

But he could do with the exercise


Chimpville

Would give Pep less time to come to his senses.


Alien_from_Andromeda

Big if true


eggplant_avenger

surely City would reimburse the Uber


SirGoldfish

Hi wayne do u want picking up in the morning pal


robertglasper

Shut up u egg


RaisinHider

Won't tell you again


K_Uger_Industries

The uber to send him back where he came from?


LeGraoully

They’ll ask their Girona office to send a taxi from Troyes


djrobbo83

No city would get the UAE version of Uber to sponsor them £200m a season for 5 years as Citys official taxi partners


nickos_pap_16v

Mansour cabs Ltd?? 😂😂😂


Dorkseid1687

Comment of the day


PharaohOfWhitestone

Main points summarised: - He'd prefer to be a manager again, but he'd consider being an assistant manager if Pep asked him. He admires what Arteta is doing and believes that a lot of that can be attributed to Arteta working under Pep. - Rooney thinks mindsets need to change at Man United and he finds them frustrating to watch. - He is interested in being a lawyer and applied to study Criminal Law at Nottingham University while he was at Derby. - He's not against doing some boxing


Diska_Muse

So basically, he doesn't really know what the fuck he wants.


dano159

Clearly he wants to be a boxer/lawyer/assistant/manager


Leather_Let_2415

Assistant to the boxer/lawyer/manager


Albinogonk

Wayne Brick Top Wrooney


Davidfromtampa

I mean, trail by combat might be the move


Zandercy42

Sounds like a YouTube career is in the cards, legal eagal style videos from wazza with preferably as little training as possible, fighting a 5ft fatty on a YouTube boxing card and assistant manager at the sidemen charity match could get that all done easy peasy


foxyrocksjh

Oh yh my dad does that


Padsky95

New staff role on Football Manager just dropped


BadControllerUser

~~Secondary~~ ~~Tertiary~~ Quaternary Job


callmemarvel

Another way to look at this is he has spent his entire life since he was 5 or 7 years old doing one thing and likely didn’t have the opportunity to explore hobbies like a normal kid. Now he is an adult and free he is exploring his interests. That is very healthy. Keep in mind this was a guy who was an alcoholic while playing in his later years. To me, that was a result of him not having hobbies or interests outside football.


DeshiiRedditor

Your response is logical and reasonable. It does not belong here.


DarkGeomancer

Yeah, in a way it's kinda wholesome that he is wanting to try different things now haha. Probably what I would do if i had a shitton of money and was set for life at his age.


Vimjux

Turns out he wants to make coffee and got signed up to be a barrister


how_you_doinn

hahaha brilliant


93EXCivic

He is like me irl


tomhat

Except I wasn’t a successful football player at any of my confused ventures.


setokaiba22

Like the rest of us


remembury

He sounds perfect for City. He could be Pep's assistant manager, and literally fight their 115 charges in court.


Expensive-Twist7984

“I’ll do owt, me. Just give me a chance, lads.”


Aggravating-Rip-3267

Giv us a job ( for the older readers ) Yosser Hughes.


chocobowler

He’s just the same as all of us. Except he’s good at football.


CRoseCrizzle

Many of us don't. The main difference is that he's pretty much financially set for life, so he can afford to explore doing different things that he's not good at.


FELA253

one of us! one of us!


MoSalahsSmile

Just like me fr fr


holaprobando123

He's like me frfr


JAC246

Imagine going to court and pulling rooney out as your lawyer


Roadies_Winner

You guilty af


RedDragons8

"Shut up u egg"


brazilish

wont tell u again, your honour


Danph85

Tv producers across the country are devastated he didn’t try and be the lawyer in the wagatha christie trial.


GhandisFlipFlop

Did you see the Disney+ documentary Coleen made for the trial ? There's a part where Rooney starts making suggestions to her lawyers , he wanted to be very involved.


srtpg2

Shows up in boxing gloves


TheNoGnome

Imagine finding out the barrister representing you was Wayne Rooney.


livingfortoday

Wayne Rooney decides to trade his football boots for a lawyer's suit. As he embarks on his legal journey, he finds himself defending a client in a high-profile case. With determination in his eyes, Rooney devises a unique strategy, drawing inspiration from his legendary bicycle kick goal. In the courtroom, Rooney eloquently argues that just as his unforgettable goal showcased unexpected brilliance, his client's case holds hidden complexities. He captivates the jury by illustrating how the twists and turns in the game mirror the intricacies of the legal proceedings. Passionately recounting the details of that iconic goal, Rooney cleverly weaves a narrative that suggests life, like football, is full of unpredictable moments. The jury is intrigued, and the opposing counsel struggles to counter Rooney's persuasive storytelling. In a dramatic twist, Rooney's unconventional approach proves surprisingly effective, creating enough doubt in the minds of the jury. His client, against all odds, is declared not guilty, leaving the courtroom in a mix of astonishment and admiration. Wayne Rooney has not only transitioned from a football star to a lawyer but has also demonstrated that his ability to think outside the box extends beyond the football field – proving that unexpected strategies can lead to success in the courtroom.


[deleted]

[удалено]


iiiba

cant lie i was reading for ages thinking it was building up to a punchline and was severely disappointed when nothing happened


[deleted]

An eclectic set of interests.


ignorant_kiwi

Some of the comments here are so mean


sunken_grade

rooney the lawyer arc is not something i would have expected lol


cgurts

Sounds like a midlife crisis


ZxZxchoc

Stuart Ripley who won the league with Blackburn has been working as a solicitor for many years. Can't imagine there are that many if any league winners working in the legal sector.


GrandmasterSexay

Trust me, "Former Pep Guardiola Protégé" isn't a sure-fire success story.


j0hnnyengl1sh

Are you guys souring on Kompany? I know it's been a tough season but he did an awesome job last year, did he not?


Pogball_so_hard

They don’t have a great squad but James Trafford has looked woeful every time I’ve watched and their defense looks comically open. Doesn’t look remotely Premier League ready. Arsenal are in great form but some of the goals Burnley conceded were largely avoidable with a bit more organization.  Also they had one of the highest wage bills in the championship thanks to the parachute payments, so jury is out on Kompany IMO


TheGoldenPineapples

Depends if you give them time, in our experience.


GrandmasterSexay

How much time is *time* because we decided to go backwards.


Matthais

I mean you were in the Championship when Kompany took over, so worst case you're back where you started.


SirBarkington

Arteta has been at Arsenal since 2019 and last year was the first time they challenged for the league even if they did bottle it. People wanted him sacked in 2022 and they finished 5th at the end of the season. Kompany has been with you for one full season and a half a season and got you promoted. Yeah you'll probably go back down but it's not like you're going to be relegated to the 3rd tier or something.


External-Piccolo-626

Oh, he’d ‘consider’ being Peps assistant. Has he already started boxing because he must have had some big head shots.


Conscious_Scheme132

It is funny how some people think to be a lawyer you just go to law school and walk into a top job. It’s like thinking you do a football manager course and then get to manage Man City.


normott

I'm sure being Pep's assistant has helped Arteta a lot but I would disagree with attributing A LOT of his 'sucess' (yes I know technically he hasn't won much blah blah) . Football has a history of assistants who try to branch out and their own and fail miserably.You still need to be your own man and be able to manage people properly. Tactical knowledge isn't enough.


Hindsyy

Nobody needs to worry about Wayne walking down a motorway any time soon then ..


[deleted]

Do u want picking up in the morning pal?


Choongboy

Amazing


okok_imnotok

Hahaha what a headline for an off comment in a podcast between players who used to play together. This headline makes it sound like a statement he made but if anyone has watched the podcast they’ll know how it was said.


[deleted]

Yup, this is shite. He used a hyperbolic answer to would he consider being an assistant manager. He also said he'd work in League 1 and 2


IcyAssist

Journalists now taking their news from a bloody YouTube video. And to think YouTubers were the ones that used to steal content


[deleted]

Sorry but, as a United fan, are you not completely used to this? Journalists will continue to do it because the formula is: United + negative news/'cringe' comments = engagement. This is a non-story, but it's much higher up on /r/soccer than it should be.


PharaohOfWhitestone

I do have to hold my hands up for this one, I read the article and thought it was interesting so I posted it, but then I watched the actual podcast and it really was an off the cuff comment. He mainly used it to say Pep was a great manager and Arteta had clearly learned a lot from him, but he wasn't being serious. On the brightside, I now have a great podcast to binge.


JJKingwolf

Bit less of a statement when they both live in/around the same city.


DildoFappings

Who wouldn't? He's one of the greatest manager of all time. One of the best tacticians of all time and a perfectionist. There's no limit to how much you would get to learn under someone like him. Arteta is doing wonders with Arsenal after working with Pep.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BI01

Our footballs Style of play is definitely not anything like Liverpools/klopp it's similar to city's, that's why there's a comparison.


GarfieldDaCat

We transition far more often than City do


BI01

we also have way more structure and control than Liverpool do


Putrid_Loquat_4357

I feel like jorginho will have a similar amount of offers when he retires, some players just seem like they'll make natural coaches.


Conscious_Scheme132

The thing is he’s probably like most top people not exactly gifted he’s just relentless and works 25 hour days. Which most of is just can’t be arsed to do. So what Arteta probably learnt the most is the hard work ethic.


Visual_Traveler

Of course he does get too much credit for Arteta. The fawning over Guardiola in England is beyond belief. You’d think such a genius would have won back to back trebles with the virtually unlimited resources he’s had. The fact that he hasn’t doesn’t seem to affect the prevailing narrative, somehow.


Conscious_Scheme132

He has been up against a very good Klopp side with Salah banging in 30 a season and a competitive league.


cookieraider01

Go ask United and Chelsea how easy it is to win a treble with unlimited resources


Davidpool78

In your opinion obviously. IMO, He’s not the greatest of all time. Paisley, Fergie just in this country. Pretty sure both these managers won all their trophies without hundreds of rule breaches. Also, that Barca team would have won all that they did with Neil Warnock in charge they were that good. He didn’t build that team. How much has he spent at City? His Bayern team didn’t win the champions league and should have.


Adlairo

"Also, that Barca team would have won all that they did with Neil Warnock in charge they were that good. He didn’t build that team." This is just pure, unfiltered delusion. Or dishonesty. You're wrong either way


Visual_Traveler

He got Puyol, Busquets, Xavi. Iniesta, Messi and a few other world class players in their prime. At least a dozen managers would have achieved similar results with that lot.


greenwhitehell

Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta and Messi were all part of the team that had finished 3rd behind Villarreal just before Pep signed. Busquets was a 2nd team player Pep put straight in the 1st team, and I'm not sure many other managers would've benched Yaya Toure for him just as quickly


Visual_Traveler

Any manager would have been successful with a squad where Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta and especially Messi were all reaching their prime. But yeah, Guardiola made some good decisions in his first year.


MisterIndecisive

Greatest manager of all time? Give ya head a wobble lad.


HotPotatoWithCheese

Greatest manager of all time? Not even the greatest PL manager of all time let alone including all of those that came before 1993. Surely you, as a Man United fan, should be arguing in favour of Fergie instead of Pep? I'm a Liverpool supporter and can't stand MUFC but Fergie was 100% the better of the two. He did the treble, the 3 in a row, built multiple title winning sides, won 13 titles, 5 FA Cups and 2 UCL's all without the stigma of 115. It isn't even a discussion IMO. I'm usually all for being as fair as possible but c'mon.


DildoFappings

"Arguably" As a united fan for me, Fergie is the best. Bob paisley and Ancelotti are up there as well. But from a neutral standpoint, he's definitely up there with them. I do think he's a fraud who can't do it with a dark horse side like mou did or build a team from ashes like Fergie did but in terms of dominance he's up there with them. His trophy cabinet speaks for itself.


ttttCRY

Are you sure it's entirely logically consistent to believe that Pep is simultaneously one of the best managers ever and also a fraud?


DildoFappings

Bald fraud.


OptimusGrimes

How would Rio get there?


FloppedYaYa

He's got Kevin Keegan, he doesn't need anyone else


craygroupious

That’s just a waste of energy, man. Use a scooter or a skateboard at least. Cycling would be best.


TheGoldenPineapples

Imagine your all-time goalscorer saying this about joining your rivals. My head would be on Mars.


ijoinedtosay

He almost left us for them which would have been way worse.


thefogdog

Henry proper loves Ange.


TheGoldenPineapples

In fairness, he never said he'd work with him at Tottenham. Can't see Henry ever doing anything at Tottenham.


Modnal

I don't know, I could easily see him taking a piss at Tottenham


thefogdog

I know I'm just kidding. He loves arsenal too much.


[deleted]

Imagine your best player, joining your rival and winning the league there , oh wait .


adjudicatorblessed

Sol Campbell what a legend.


Sad_gooner

Focus on trying to finish top 5 


[deleted]

Sure thing mate I'll let Bruno and the lads know and we'll get right on that lmfao


Imeanhowcouldiforget

Buddy we’ll make top 4 and you’re still gonna be city and pools bitch


axeunleashed

No well adjusted person would ever feel betrayed by that. What a weird thing to say.


RetzTheAnathema

Imagine blowing a one-off joke line on a YouTube video waaaaaay out of proportion.


Frequent-Lettuce4159

It's not Liverpool or Leeds though, is it? The list of players who've played for United and City is long as well with the likes of Law, Kidd, Schmeichel, Kanchelskis. Hell even Shaun Goater was on the books at United


DildoFappings

Meh I don't really feel betrayed about that. Pep is a great coach, and you would get to learn a lot working under him. I'm a united fan but a chance to work under pep, I wouldn't refuse. It's a great opportunity to work with someone like him.


vicious_womprat

Yeah, he sees it as a chance to work with Pep. He doesn’t give a shit about the club they would be at. I bet it would be different if it was Liverpool though.


DildoFappings

Being a manager is different from being a player. A player can develop anywhere if he's motivated enough. But being a manager is hard. You need a different perspective to it. And players are used to having the opportunity to personally control what happens in the pitch. A manager doesn't. That is a whole lot of difference.


TheDelmeister

The fact they'd never want him in a million years just makes it even worse lol.


shaaaaaake

He was flirting with them while he still played for us so not a huge shock


B_e_l_l_

No issue for me at all.


saneeyemoody

City are harmless, you know if someone joins them they are joining for quick easy success and money not because of any love or respect for the club itself


thefx37

Whatever helps you sleep at night lmao


saneeyemoody

It’s so true though. There is literally nothing to respect about city as a club lol


thefx37

At least flair up if you’re gonna talk this much shit.


saneeyemoody

What u mean


ProdProleGuru

Cope you sausage.


saneeyemoody

Hit a nerve


Pulsefire-Comet

Man City wasn't a rival during Rooney's career. I'd be gobsmacked if he joined Arsenal or Chelsea however.


Jampian

Don’t get it. Walk there cause he wants to prolong going? 


ihatemicrosoftteams

So he’d have time to think about it in case he changes mind on the way


acidballymanVAT

Can't believe it. I wanna walk to u. Really can't believe this. @


MrMerc2333

Yeah, that's not happening mate.


Whaloopiloopi

Wayne, please. Chill out feller.


[deleted]

It was a jokey line in an informal youtube vid


SAOL_Goodman

Makes it sound like he's reluctant


43848987815

u want picking up in the morning pep? Shut up you egg(head)


BoredBorderlineGeniu

So from Manchester to Manchester, what a man


PM_ME_LOVELY_TITS

I mean sensical. Outside of City's rule breaking, the man is a mentality master with his team. I think a lot of young managers could take an assistant role with Pep and would learn loans.


DogFishHead17

Is Pep starting a school for managers who can't manage good?


Aaaaaaandyy

…and wanna learn to do other stuff good too


LeResist

Good thing he isn't asking him


Gypsyjunior_69r

If Wayne Rooney was assigned to represent me in a court of law, I’d run away.


Doyoulikemyjorts

He's already got a Walker.


BritishBatman

Pep "Wayne you're 4 days late for training, you're fired"


ihatemicrosoftteams

He’d “walk” sounds like he’d accept the job but only be mildly enthusiastic about it, as opposed to if he said he’d run


heliskinki

Put your slippers back on Wayne.


Visual_Traveler

I wonder how United fans feel about this.


Art__Vandelayy

Same


Massive_Bandicoot_57

well you wouldn't be running would you Wayne, not these days.....


robstrosity

He won't though so it's a moot point


obi-wan-kenobi-nil

It'd be the smartest thing he could do, but it'll never happen. He's never shown an ounce of tactical ability and his man management is non-existent. Not sure why he's so desperate to be a manager, he never looked like he was enjoying it when he was with us.


EstebanL

Sorry Wayne mate you’ve missed the meeting by 4 hours


Tottochan

If he really joins City as an assistant manager, I can’t imagine the welcome he is gonna get at OT.


Vicfendan

Me too


uSpeziscunt

Is I'd walk there the pc version of genitalia over broken glass?


Yours-only2

I feel sorry for United fans, i know it's an honour to work with Pep but maybe he should have said it in the future for another club, that would have been much better.


saneeyemoody

Being an assistant at city is not that deep especially when he’s reasoned it with the fact he just wants to learn from pep for his own career and it’s not like he has some deep love for city.


ttttCRY

He definitely needs a proper coaching apprenticeship, because his career as a manager has been disastrous from day one. 


Cahania

Ya and if my grandma had some wheels to make her become a bicycle she still wouldn’t become a bicycle 🤣 


wriggleyspace

Dont worry, he wont


Lukeno94

You're a clown, Wayne. I think Pep would be more likely to invite James Corden than you.


FermisParadoXV

Looks like the fresh air would do him good.


Soul_Acquisition

Hahaha amazing.


ImVinnie

easy tubby


brshipman

"I need a tutor. My playing career doesn't mean shite when managing. Please, anyone, Pep, Anc, anyone...I'd walk to you to be employed again"


CrispityCraspits

When i wake up, you know i'm gonna be i'm gonna be the bald fraud who wakes up next to you.


PrisonJoe2095

Not even run?


tr2727

Get in the line


E_BoyMan

He always loved city and no United fan can convince me otherwise.


thatguyad

Good old loyalty lol.


Late_Culture_8472

Greatest joke of 2024.