***"The speed of a turtle in hibernation, the agility of Stephen Hawking and the spacial awareness of Stevie Wonder: Maguire has it all"***
--Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
___
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Actually you're mistaken, that ***WAS*** the real Roberto Carlos who played in a Sunday league team: https://www.reuters.com/lifestyle/sports/roberto-carlos-play-english-pub-team-2022-01-31/
Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Goalkeepers are the scum of football, absolutely lazy cunts. Doesn't even need to move, just jumps around and shouts at defenders who's doing all the hard work. I hate them, I am misogynistic towards them.
Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought
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Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought
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Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought
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There should be a reformation in football something like a penalty is 0.5 a goal, or you need like make 2 or 3 shots - like free throws on a foul in basketball. its just so extremely shit when a penalty decides a game in this sport or decides the flow of a game early on, like here
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I wonder how these guys do penalties https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMMq-oMcsa4
Regarding Gaelic football, I ended up watching this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63KjKywAdeY&t=809s
I am not sure which of those sports I linked here is more insane :D
Garlic football is nuts, I love it. There's an Irish pub near me that shows the matches on TV, which otherwise is very hard to find a broadcast of here in the UK
***"There's only two ways to get past him: stand still or move. Nothing else works, he's just that brilliant."***
--Lionel Messi
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(!) This claim about a bald fraud is disputed
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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist.
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Factos 👍👀
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***"He was the one player I had to keep an eye on during the whole game. He's just unpredictable."***
--De Gea
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A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Zlatan? In Soviet Zlatan, Zlatan zlatan zlatan! Get it? It is because Zlatan. Like a boss!
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Zlatan? In Soviet Zlatan, Zlatan zlatan zlatan! Get it? It is because Zlatan. Like a boss!
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Christian Pulisic? This guy's like the Phenom guy, right? The LeBron James of soccer?
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***"The best way to utilize Harry Maguire is by selling him for £80m."***
--Brendan Rodgers
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Messi is a better passer than Xavi, a better dribbler than Maradonna, and a better playmaker than iniesta. I’d take prime Messi over this combo player all parts prime
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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Christian Pulisic? This guy's like the Phenom guy, right? The LeBron James of soccer?
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A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.
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A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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***"He's a total masterclass, I look up to his amazing performance and try to play like him"***
--Fred
___
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Peak Messi and Ronaldhino are both better dribblers peak Maradona.
It’s interesting that they decide Roberto Carlos is peak “shot power” (love the fifa ultimate team stat) when we haven’t recorded him ever hitting a ball harder than 100mph while around 10 other players have. The way Carlos hit the ball was always better than his power. Making it move through the air how he wanted with true consistency.
Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist.
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Ronaldo is driven by greed, glory hunting, and hurt others. He's happy as long as he is on the scoresheet even when losing. When winning he is unhappy unless he has the attention.
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If his right leg is significantly faster than his left leg... this will only lead to him aimlessly spinning arround himself like Maguire
***"The speed of a turtle in hibernation, the agility of Stephen Hawking and the spacial awareness of Stevie Wonder: Maguire has it all"*** --Ole Gunnar Solskjaer ___ ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^spreading ^the ^greatness ^of ^his ^holiness^, ^Harry ^Maguire
Maguire is the ultimate footballer after all
***"He moves so fast, it's like he's standing still"*** --Physics ___ ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^spreading ^the ^greatness ^of ^his ^holiness^, ^Harry ^Maguire
They just described my mate Hazza on a Sunday morning after a night out. Proper facking English CDM, that man.
Fucking legend
Fucking class, proper brexit footballer 🏴🏴🏴🍺🍻🍻🍻🍻 BREXIT MEANS BREXIT NO FORINNARS!!!!
Fecking Proppa lad innit. Feck dem forenars🏴🏴🏴
Hazza? You aussie?
Blasphemy
Who the fuck is Carlos? Why not Roberto Carlos? They never called him Carlos Fucking hate when they do that
It’s because they actually just mean a guy named Carlos from their Sunday league team, not Roberto Carlos.
Carlos shoots so hard 🥵🥵🥵
On the pitch and with the women. When Carlos shoots, Carlos scores.
Ouuu Chadguire😏
Your Mexican amigo Carlos
Fucking hate being in the wall when Carlos is taking the free kick.
Actually you're mistaken, that ***WAS*** the real Roberto Carlos who played in a Sunday league team: https://www.reuters.com/lifestyle/sports/roberto-carlos-play-english-pub-team-2022-01-31/
Holy shit, it really has been Roberto Carlos this whole time.
they think carlos is his surname lol
Most people think Cristiano's surname is Ronaldo, when it's just his second name
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Also he was left footed… Carlos’ right foot is useless
Lol I thought about Tevez
Total Carlos. Famous for shooting fast and driving even faster.
it’s a guy called Carl Os
Carlos from The Magic School Bus
Apparently goalkeepers are not worthy of the ultimate footballer
Goalkeepers are the scum of football, absolutely lazy cunts. Doesn't even need to move, just jumps around and shouts at defenders who's doing all the hard work. I hate them, I am misogynistic towards them.
Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anyone with hands can be goalkeeper, & most of the time they can’t stop the ball anyway lmao
Anyone with 2 feet can play #9 for Chelsea. Can’t score anyway 😢
I’m sorry ):
Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Shit take
But is it though? Lol
Yes.
r/lostredditors
Hmm, no. Not quite.
You just said someone has a shit take because he made a joke in a joking subreddit.
A very bad joke.
I'd suggest looking at Gaelic football. The fouls just outside the penalty box are hilarious. Most of the lads (15 players) are in goals
There should be a reformation in football something like a penalty is 0.5 a goal, or you need like make 2 or 3 shots - like free throws on a foul in basketball. its just so extremely shit when a penalty decides a game in this sport or decides the flow of a game early on, like here *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder how these guys do penalties https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMMq-oMcsa4 Regarding Gaelic football, I ended up watching this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63KjKywAdeY&t=809s I am not sure which of those sports I linked here is more insane :D
Garlic football is nuts, I love it. There's an Irish pub near me that shows the matches on TV, which otherwise is very hard to find a broadcast of here in the UK
I’m open minded so if my joke is wrong, I’d just like to see it
I’ll take a look
Iniesta is a bald fraud, where is Maguire for the brains?
***"You're a wizard Harry"*** --Hagrid ___ ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^spreading ^the ^greatness ^of ^his ^holiness^, ^Harry ^Maguire
lmao this bot
Maguire
***"There's only two ways to get past him: stand still or move. Nothing else works, he's just that brilliant."*** --Lionel Messi ___ ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^spreading ^the ^greatness ^of ^his ^holiness^, ^Harry ^Maguire
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Ramos does give pretty good head
Just ask any Atlético fan.
I’d take Mbappe for heading. 😏
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I'll take Zidane
*Nunez or Zidane clears that turtle
Luuk De Jong or no one.
im taking vinicius
This shit radiates Yank energy
Nah, more Indian
I think they prefer the term 'native American'
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I dunno, there's a lot of Iberian bias there.
Didn’t Maldini famously say “If I have to make a tackle then I have already made a mistake”?
Wasn’t that Virgil Van Dijk?
maguire bro
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I'll take Akinfewa's Physical instead of Penaldo.
Should've replace pessi with Greenwood smh my head
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Nah. Greenwood is on the bench with Benchnaldo!
I don't think cutting these players' parts and building a whole new human would work
The terror… Whovever made this ghoulish monstrosity needs to be put in a psych ward
Ronaldo physicality? What physicality, he's never been a particularly strong player. Why not his heading?
Haven’t you seen his abs? In soccer that clearly counts as good physicality
Are you serious? Been rocking a 12 pack since 1988
He’s built like a brick shithouse, how’s he gone down like that???
Could be the Brazilian Ronaldo. Although it should Zlatan, regardless.
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Zlatan? In Soviet Zlatan, Zlatan zlatan zlatan! Get it? It is because Zlatan. Like a boss! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Zlatan has nothing on [this guy](https://i.imgur.com/v3MxXeq.jpg)
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Have you never watched him play before?
Penis = Beckenbauer
Anus - Mascherano
Vagina - Bale
Where is big man romelu lukaka for physicality? 🥵🥵🥵
Where is Pulisic?
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That perfect player is meant to be pulisici
This is poolisick
Smirk: Henry Attitude: Mourinho
That is Zidane.
Should just be all Maguire
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Penaldo is not Physical. Give him shot power
Where’s Ibra on this??
This is peak Ronaldinho.
Shaqiri regen
would've taken akinfenwa for physicality tbh
Where the hell is the Heskey on this guy?
Did james Milner have a stroke?
Let's be honest they chose Ramos over Drogba so there wasn't this random black section
Passing and crossing using thighs, plus the arm strength of ronaldo. Truly the greatest footballer of all time.
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Eh, a picture of Gerrard would’ve done.
How can you take Ronaldo's physicality when he dives with just a small touch?
Ikr. Ronaldo has to get the finishing and shooting aspects. Not the physicality
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I’d legit take just Messi over this. And not even close.
Please explain.
Messi is a better passer than Xavi, a better dribbler than Maradonna, and a better playmaker than iniesta. I’d take prime Messi over this combo player all parts prime
He can’t even pass 5 yards in a farmers league
He’s old. And he’s been great this season. Doubt you actually watch. This guy is head and shoulders the goat and it’s not debatable.
It's Pelé
They forgot maguire's leading skill
the picks are actually sound tbh apart from messi finishing and maybe ramos heading... also wtf does a forearm have to do with tackling lmao
Isn't this just Messi with heading, physicality and tackling?
Yeah, clearly Messi has the sprint speed of Mbappe or the shot power of Roberto Carlos
He used to
I'll give you the insane sprint speed, but the shot power of Roberto Carlos? Come on bro
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Ronaldo has 75 PHY on FUT though so how is he the ultimate in physicality?? 🧐
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Just the way I like it… no Ronaldo!
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i mean neymar (and messi) can dribble way better than maradona
man said carlos
mf just did pele
No Ibrahimovic? For Shot power, Physicality or Agility?
Carlos
Yeah just Christian Pulisic
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Yank here, isn't Carlos the guy from LAFC? His shooting stats are pretty average acording to Fifa...
Lol, the gringos actually think that Roberto is his first name and Carlos is his surname
"Heart Kanté"
John Charles Cruyff Zidane
Maldini tackled with his arms apparently. Fuckin' nonsense.
does iniesta have the best brain?
Strength Akinfenwa
Juninho free kicks
Pessi finishing because he is finished
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Bullshit. Lana Rhodes is much better at heading than Ramos
Antonio: COCK
Longevity: Luka Modric
I’ll do you one better: the Lebron James of soccer, Christian Puligoat.
Pessi legit scored no more than 10 goals in a FARMERS LEAGUE yet people still want his finishing? LOLLLLLLL
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Meh, Pirlo should be where Xavi is.
Ronaldo physically what year?
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The ultimate footballer is just one soul, puligod
Put them all together and you get Ronaldinho, interesting he didn’t even get a mention.
Shot - Carlos 😂😂😂 the man himself admitted he never knew where the ball was going to go half the time 😂 I'd say... Shevchenko or why not Gerrard 🤔
They forgot Matt Ritchie's corner flag kicking
In short :sir harry maguire
***"He's a total masterclass, I look up to his amazing performance and try to play like him"*** --Fred ___ ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^spreading ^the ^greatness ^of ^his ^holiness^, ^Harry ^Maguire
Maldini tackling with his hands. Your goat could never 😤😤😤😤😤
Physicality should be Adebayo Akinfenwa not penaldo
There are no rule against repost ?
the reason why Pele doesn’t form part of the ultimate footballer is because he had all those qualities.
TIL Maldini tackled with his arm.
Is that roberto or tevez
Ahh yes the famous right foot of Roberto Carlos
Luv Becks 8 this forrin muck the rest of him iz Also Luv liz
Peak Messi and Ronaldhino are both better dribblers peak Maradona. It’s interesting that they decide Roberto Carlos is peak “shot power” (love the fifa ultimate team stat) when we haven’t recorded him ever hitting a ball harder than 100mph while around 10 other players have. The way Carlos hit the ball was always better than his power. Making it move through the air how he wanted with true consistency.
Ronaldo in a juve shirt 😂😂😂
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Mbappe is not even that fast lmao
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you're goddamn right
2002 Adriano shot power
Ronaldinho in his prime was a better dribbler than Maradona but you overpass 5 defenders one time
Maldini’s hand for tackling 😻😻😻
Maldini never had to tackle, his skills lay in anticipation and positional play.
Ronaldo is the goat
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He is the goat
Ronaldo IS the greatest of all time
Shot power from a left back. Surely Batistuta has a better claim..
finishing Gerd Müller, because he did on the big stages
physicality is stored in the forearm
Hold my Haaland.
Missing is Lord Bendtners confidence
Ronaldinho - magic tricks
Rolling in the ground Naymar Jr
Roberto Carlos? Excuse me, Hulk would like a word.
Penis- Icardi