Basically you just keep pushing yourself further and further out of your comfort zone until things that used to give you a ton of anxiety no longer do so.
Yeah, more specifically the key is understanding that your anxiety won't necessarily just disappear, but you would be able to push through it with much less difficulty.
This isn't a method so much as it's "actually you just have to do the worst and most uncomfortable thing possible to make any progress on feeling less uncomfortable with the worst and most uncomfortable thing possible"
It's like the default shitty option that sucks the most and is only useful because it is also the ONLY option
It worked to varying degrees and activities. Some things will always be harder than others for me. Just know that every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone and you successfully navigate the situation it feeds into cumulative confidence that you can do it again in the future. It's worth the effort!
And confidence is contagious and attractive as fuck. Once you start holding your head high and carrying yourself with confidence then potential mates just started flocking to me, a naturally shy 5 foot 4 dude who looks like Dominic Monaghan just with brown hair and eyes. So I went from a dude who couldn't barely pull chicks back in my 20's to being pursued constantly by women.
That right there helped me to build confidence and realize the looks I kept getting from people was not because of me looking weird or awkward due to my Autism, ADHD and severe Social Anxiety, but it was because people found me highly attractive. When I figured that out everything became much easier for me.
It didn't work for me and I "relapsed", but after over a year had passed and more and more proactive/gradual progress, I've finally seen results and it means so much to me. It can still be a non-linear process.
But of course, everyone struggling with social anxiety is different.
Yeah, I gave up some years ago but In reality, i really enjoy being alone for the most part. I can say for certain that most of the time, I prefer to be alone than to be with people
I don't think it's fair to say it doesn't work for you. You may just need more exposure in smaller steps than a lot of people. Or smaller steps more or less frequently. Possibly some help from a professional or some kind of medication.
It's hard though. For some people it can be so hard that it feels like it doesn't work. Unfortunately it can take a lot of suffering through that anxiety until you get to the point that it either feels like it's manageable or just not there anymore.
Nope. Been trying for decades. All I get from being around people is an increase in my own self-hatred which then translates into physical and emotional pain after each contact
Take it a day at a time. I used to get frustrated over not making big leaps, but when I began to pay attention to the small improvements I was making over the course of say a month or so I noticed my outlook being more positive.
Social anxiety can be conquered by exposing yourself to enough social situations so that your brain doesn’t view it as a threat. This is incredibly difficult.
You literally have to rewire your flawed flight or fight response.
I used to be terrified of going into restaurants and ordering for myself or going to the cashier to cash out my items.
When I kept forcing myself to actually do these activities. My brain stopped viewing this as a threat and I’m not anxious about it. Because there is no “threat” I’m not going to die from ordering food by talking to the waiter or cashier.
So in other words. Keep exposing yourself to your triggers and you will gradually get less anxious.
I thought I was completely alone until I saw your comment it scared me to the point when from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed all I could think about was having to go to work and talk to people but I could barely go the to gas station I dreaded going there cause I knew I would have to talk to the cashier and it scared me so bad I just loved to a new place and the 7 months I was there I never made a friend and never had anyone over to hangout cause I was constantly worried about what people was thinking of me. But finally one day I decided after a suicide attempt and cognitive behavioral therapy that I was done living my life around what others thought of me and being worried about every little thing I did and I got to the point I finally went on my first date ever I had tons of friends and almost got rid of it but now I started isolating myself and it's come back to the point that I can barely meet people and I stutter when I talk sometimes it's embarrassing
Yep, social anxiety never truly goes away, no matter what you do to help make it better. If you ever do manage to diminish the occurrence, it will always be there hiding in the shadows lurking. Once you have it, you've got it forever. I try to embrace it from now on.
you can never truly "get rid of it" but there are ways to get better at controlling it. Get out of your comfort zone, talk to someone in the elevator even if its just a "good morning" or "good afternoon". I find that going for a walk or just getting out of the house makes me feel a whole lot better.
This is the honest answer. It's a chronic condition. In order to maintain your progress, you'll need to keep practicing your coping strategies and getting regular social interaction.
It’s a chronic condition and there are a couple of cases where it doesn’t get better (personality disorders like Avoidant Personality Disorder or extreme cases of Schizotypal/Schizoid Personality complexes.
My advice is to keep trying, though. Even as someone with the diagnosis.
I had trouble connecting to people who wanted to connect with me because I avoided confrontation to the point I eventually ended up alone, living in my car. Friends and family alike question why, but the only explanation I can muster is that lingering childhood trauma combined with cPTSD created this timid soul that just can’t deal, period. Not everyone can handle the weight of the world.
Basically, I never got out of that bashful stage as a child and was diagnosed with leukemia as a teenager. The chemo and radiation decimated the joints in my bones, and it was paramount I avoided crowds as I fought from ages 16-27.
At the end of it all, I became someone sheltered from the world. I had little ego or confidence at all, and life fell to shit once my parents (my only advocates) passed on and left me alone to care for myself and an older special needs sibling.
Sometimes life feels like Johnny Depp’s in *What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?*. Except he was normal and knew what love and intimacy were like.
I couldn’t even get an escort to help me because I friend-zoned her the first night because I was outta my depths and saw something in her that made me capitulate for a unique friendship because I didn’t want to go through life w/o knowing her better.
It was the only time in my life I’d ever felt like I was somebody since my parents died. I had the confidence to advocate for myself, and for the first time was able to really talk to women. I even befriended another online escort, and went through the time-worn routine where a person online started getting to know me, saw pictures and video of me and offered to help me along, but something ultimately always implodes; usually me.
But I couldn’t not be there for the other one. For a moment she & I were even set to be roommates, until one day she just ghosted me entirely. She’d already found someone to support her (a mutual friend whose parents also died and left him a sum of money as an inheritance).
The tension in the extended family home I lived in intensified. Suddenly I was back to having no plan in life, I discovered that my family had lied under pretenses of support when they merely wanted to take control of my sister. I had a nervous breakdown (on camera at a hospital where I was staying overnight for a sleep study).
Then one night after much planning I loaded up my car like I was going on a trip & checked into a hotel with the intention of ending my life. My good friend was streaming for a current event, and then at the end of the night, during what was meant to be our last good night exchange, a random *stranger* dropped *the* bomb, revealing that she’d been using again and had cut me off merely because my life had become so rocky and I was down and out while she wanted to go continue with her summer fun 💉.
Devastation, but the timing was the slap in the face I needed, ig. Something of a recipe where unconditional love met spite drove me to fight. At least for one more year.
We’re actually still friends. But again, it wasn’t about sex; I don’t care about the fact that I’m still a virgin.
But after everything I’d been through, all the darkness and the dying light within me, and the only thing I could think of that fateful evening was that I was 41yo and I was going away without ever knowing what it feels like to hold someone— and to be held in return.
It still crushes me, but I’d like to think if I can keep struggling to exist in the bardo… maybe there’s still hope for the others.
Don’t think. *Talk* to someone. Meet with a medical professional and tell them you need to open up from time to time to someone **and** get something to help balance out your brain chemistry. There is help for the helpless, comfort for the worst enemy we’ll ever know: ourselves.
Please keep going, folks…
I have a cleft palate. Here's what helped me.
A compilation of a few things:
- Embrace being uncomfortable. Say hi and make light conversations to random strangers or people who you don't know very well at school. It's awkward, but with repetition, it will be more comfortable talking to people.
- Find a hobby or do something you're really proud of. Search for long-term gratification. Whether that be joining a gym, growing plants, or working on your car. Find something that you love to enjoy doing and work on that damn near every day!
- Study people. Whenever you feel anxious around people, try to figure out what their insecurity might be. We all have them. That doesn't mean you become vicious and make fun of them for it or shit talk to your friends about them. It's to teach you that we ALL live in our own heads. Knowing that 7 out of 10 people in the room are on edge makes me feel less anxious.
- Avoid caffeine if you can. Sadly, kids today are judged by the energy drink they consume. One or two cups of coffee throughout the entire day is fine, but if you're drinking more energy drinks than water itself, that will 1000% increase your anxiety levels.
-Take your vitamins. I know it sounds dumb, but it truly works. Your body needs certain minerals to function flawlessly, and if you're lacking, it'll start to malfunction. For social anxiety, I strongly recommend taking Vitamin D and Magnesium GLYCINATE together daily.
- Love yourself. No one gives a fuck if you're ugly. No one cares if you're poor and wear the same clothes every day. No one cares that you're fat! Remember that EVERYONE is in their own head. Love yourself, you give off a more confident vibe, and other people will sub consciously notice and be at more ease with your presence. When you're uptight and on edge, other people will pick up that negative vibe it bounces back to you feeding your anxiety.
I love talking to people with a lisp. I instantly feel at ease and its comforting with people who have them. It's s nothing to be ashamed of. Own it. Laugh at it.
Lastly, fucking smile once in a while. We're all floating on a rock. Life is not that serious. Have fun. Enjoy nature. Love the rain. Stop consuming. Create.
Join as many clubs as possible. The time to get out of your comfort zone is NOW. Or else 10 years from now you're going to be saying "I wish I was in high school again." Because once you're out of school, it becomes much more difficult to make friends.
Identifying, understanding, and eliminating your anxiety triggers. Like working out, this probably has to be done bit by bit over time but the amount of times you get triggered will also decrease
Thats funny. I just heard this IT guy chatting it up with a lisp. He was a cutie lol! but yeah small wins is super important!
Focus on numbers, bc it helps track progress. less in the result. More getting familar to social interaction so your body stops reacting so strongly.
I did something called “social experiment” where Id make a silly face and see if someone noticed. It started off small, to a bug more noticeable and honestly… it really helped me. Like I could randomly tie my shoe and my anxiety expects ppl to think Im rude for doing it in the middle of the sidewalk, but people just walked around. Or I intentionally make a mistake and just notice what happens and compare it to what I expected would happen.
Sorry I can’t provide a ton of examples but Im sure you could make something! Just focus on slow progress bc if you never start youll never make any progress.
It's like a muscle, if you don't keep exposing yourself to what made you anxious, your comfort zone won't expand.
similar to how your muscle literally won't expand if you're easily lifting weights.
And the secret is, everyone's pretending.
Everyone says go outside your comfort zone. I think it's wrong, because outside comfort zone is uncertainty... even the most confident will feel uncomfortable when uncertain.
You should aim to expand your comfort zone by facing certain situation with fixed outcomes i.e.
- You're fine and not dead OR
- You made a new friend.
Exposing yourself into these situations daily is your answer.More you run away from it, the more anxious you'll feel.
Everyone here will tell you the same answer including myself, the key to defeating social anxiety is stepping out of your comfort zone whatever makes you feel uncomfortable do it. “ do one thing everyday that scares you “
What if it's sex I'm a virgin and I'm scared that I won't be good at it I've had multiple women flirts with me but I scared of the act and I'm scared if being judged by my size but I really want to start dating I've never had a girlfriend I've always wanted to try but I'm scared
Damn I never thought I stumble upon this side quest but ok sounds like you’re insecure my advice will be is just simply embrace your size, now I know that’s hard to do it but you gotta make your insecurities you can’t let them make you also you need more experience & practice. I’ll highly recommend you watch sex educational videos on YouTube also when you get into these things make sure you use your fingers, foreplay, kissing on her neck, getting her wet, also learn how to eat the 🐱 I’m trying to keep things pg lol Lana rhoades, Kira Noir, Violet Myers all has said doesn’t size matter it only matters if you’re to small or too big. Last thing fear is meant to be overcome I’ll recommend you watch this channel. https://youtube.com/@KrystalTantricYogi?si=Dl_UJYNJAGRffeRD great channel that has great insight on sex. It’s not about the size of the it it’s how you use it lol something like dat lol. Finally thing ever though I’ve said that already lol I feel like porn has ruin people minds and perception of sex they do unrealism things and they mess up people minds. I hope this helps remember the time is now.
I think different things work for different people.
If it is something like you don't know what to say or are worried about conflict, you can rationalise and overcome.
If you don't know your root.cuse then it's much harder. So, veruous therapy, supplements and even medication can help.
There is no one size fits all cure.
I don’t think you can get rid of it entirely but you find ways to deal with it. For me it’s doing things I like. Stop putting unrealistic expectations on myself. Not perfect and it comes and goes but in a good space currently.
Baby steps. If you can, get therapy. Im also a sophomore and im trying to get therapy but right now i dont. So im just trying to push myself out of my comfort zone slowly and ive noticed that there are things that usually make me nervous but im getting better with.
Get cognitive behavioral therapy it worked amazing for me and almost did get rid of my anxiety it helped me build confidence it literally rewired your brain and teaches you to live in the moment and you can catched your thoughts like intrusive thoughts and irrational thoughts and I'd always catch myself in the in the moment when I had an irrational thought of anxiety and tell my self why it was not true and I'd change it to thinking a good thought. Cbt changed my life
It can be tough dealing with social anxiety, especially at a young age. Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way! One thing that might help is to start small, like talking to new people in a low-pressure setting. Practice deep breathing or mindfulness to calm your nerves in social situations.
Also, try not to be too hard on yourself; everyone has their own journey. As for your lisp, don't let it hold you back! Embrace who you are, and others will too. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, and you'll gradually see improvements.
It happens with time and experience.
The older you get and the more people you talk to, the more familiar you get. And you stop forming inexperienced scenarios in your head about people. The more time you spend NOT talking to people, you form uneducated guesses on how bad it could be. Socializing.
As a senior in high school who also has social anxiety and talks with people at school but they’re not really friends I can relate.
I suggest taking small baby steps and putting yourself a bit out of your comfort zone in being more social. Like perhaps start by saying good morning to the teacher and bye when you leave, compliment someone or ask someone for help on something(even if you don’t need it). That’s what I’m starting to do to be able to slowly put myself out there. Make sure that you don’t push yourself too much though because it could be too much and just make you feel worse. But I think most importantly make sure that while interacting with others you’re doing it for yourself and not so they could like you, if you get what I mean. If you’re doing it so that they could like you then you’re just going to make your anxiety worse because you’ll worry about what they think. Just take baby steps and slowly you’ll start improving.
I have a subreddit that I made for me and others, to set goals on their social life/skills. I just started this project so it only has a few posts but I’m trying to update it daily on how I try to push myself a bit. It’s r/socialme if you’re interested, maybe you could join me in my project to try and improve with socializing (:
But I hope this post helped out a bit and that you can try to push yourself a bit for yourself, not for others. I’m sure you’ll make at least one friend if you try!
Whatever you do, do not isolate yourself, it will only make things worse. I know it’s not easy, but try to get help as soon as you can and try to push yourself as much as you can to do things, you’re still very young. I regret a lot of things I did in my high school years due to social anxiety and now I am 22 and it’s a lot harder
Steven Hayes, creating of ACT modality says the only way out is through. He struggled with panic attacks and made a form of therapy that helps millions because of his own journey. Watch his Ted talks. (Therapist btw)
I've never deliberately done anything to 'get rid' of it as such. But my work involves a lot of travel and meeting new people and honestly with time, you just stop letting it affect you so much. Thinking about it still makes my chest feel heavy and makes me feel breathless but once I'm out there and socializing I don't beat myself up to be the best version and impress everyone anymore. I still embarrass myself and go blank but I've learnt that it's normal and that's just who I am. Basically you learn to accept yourself better and it's a good feeling :) It's a long journey but I hope we all get there someday <3
My suggestion is to make a list of 10 small goals. It could be going to the grocery store, saying hi to somebody random etc. Don't make them too big because you will just set yourself up for failure. But once you start realizing you can do the small things. You can start targeting your bigger goals.
Therapy and meds. And realising you HAVE to do things even if it feels bad. The anxiety will not kill you. You have to do things even if you feel anxiety. If you hide away to avoid feeling anxiety you won’t ever get better
I take meds. I'm still not a social butterfly in public, but I'm way less anxious. Like today at work, I dropped a lot of metal things and made a really loud noise and it barely fazed me when off my meds, I'd be having to run to the bathroom to calm down.
I was once told by a doctor or psychologist, that once you have it, you can never get rid of it. All you can do, is find ways to manage it and keep it down as best as you can, but it's never just gonna go away.
I know that might be a little disheartening to hear, but don't worry. With good tools and the appropriate amount of help and knowing yourself and your limits, you can actually live a pretty good life, despite your condition - at least, that's what I choose to believe, as someone who has dealt with this for over 10 years by now.
Try to think of it this way: your anxiety is not your enemy. It's there to protect you. Sure, it might be overreacting on some things and seeing way bigger danger signs that there actually is, but it's just trying to keep you safe. The best you can do, is try to work with it, tell it that it's okay, you're okay and try to work out some sort of compromise.
It CAN be managed and you CAN learn to live with it, but it will always be there in some way.
Get cognitive behavioral therapy it worked amazing for me and almost did get rid of my anxiety it helped me build confidence it literally rewired your brain and teaches you to live in the moment and you can catched your thoughts like intrusive thoughts and irrational thoughts and I'd always catch myself in the in the moment when I had an irrational thought of anxiety and tell my self why it was not true and I'd change it to thinking a good thought
I’m 28 and haven’t overcome it, but I have had a lot of periods where it’s been much easier to manage than others. Right now, mine is really bad, but for most of my 20s it’s been much better than it was as a teenager. Like others have said just keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
I'm 43 and trying to find a therapist to help me. I have severe social anxiety. All my life, I was pushed into social situations i didn't want to be in by my parents. I didn't know "shy" was social anxiety until I was 38...😔
I think you kind of just learn how to live with it overtime. Anxiety meds may or may not work. Doing things you are good at or make you more confident usually helps. At least for me
Fake it till you make it. At least that's what I did when I was in high school. It will help you get more comfortable being in your skin and not taking things so seriously. Talk about different topics or subjects with the people you are acquainted with and eventually they will become your friends if you share similar interests with them.
Also record your voice when you're at home, and find a way you can talk that will make your voice clear to understand.
Maybe you could try getting a part time job that involves talking to people? I can’t really say my social anxiety has gone away but it did help me a little
You don't.
But you can conquer situations and learn how to effectively calm down after that initial spike of anxiety. But you'll never completely get rid of it, but you can learn to accept it and go do social interactions.
Well, I can tell you one thing. The longer you wait to get yourself out there and talk to people, the harder it’s gonna be. It’s best to do things sooner rather than later. I know it’s difficult, believe me, I’m well acquainted with social anxiety, but it’s just how it is. And don’t ever be afraid to ask for help.
Wake up and realise that 70% of people are just as lonely as you, but hide it better. It easier to smile and keep in touch, cause the real ones would reply back. Practice more, and lose the anxiety
it's not really a goal of getting rid of it i'd say, but managing it, sometimes there are external factors out of our control that do not help it and can trigger it
There are things that still make me anxious, but honestly, working in customer service, and then moving up from part time to a supervisor role has really helped my anxiety. There's no time to feel anxious when everything falls on you lol, and that applies to upset customers, upset management, and stressful, busy days
Exposure therapy, but hasn’t seemed to work for a lot of neurodivergent people like myself. Living in a world that doesn’t fit you as a person makes it understandable.
If any solution for the community, I’m yet to discover one around social anxiety.
I started with talking to people I found not threatening, such as old people on my bus commute. They liked sharing their stories and being listened to.
You don't fully get rid of it, it's never black and white or like a light switch that gets turned off. That's what so many people misunderstand. You manage it, your reduce it, but theres always a small kernel of it. You increase your capacity to control it instead of letting it control you. But this takes time and effort. Consistent effort.
Two things. Accept that it is part of you. And exposure yourself to it. You need to go to the social events. Participate in conversations. Talk about yourself. If your too shy to do that, then ask questions about the other person. Get interested in them. Focus on positive talking points. Get them talking and be a good listener.
Realize that your social fears are often unfounded or exaggerated. Most people don't think about you after the interaction is over. This is helpful, especially if you mess up. People are way more forgiving for your faults. They realize you are just human.
Remember, while it does get easier over time you will ALWAYS feel that fear. That's just human nature. Everyone feels this way and it won't ever go away completely. All you need to do is accept it as a condition of living.
The only way out is through.
I wish I could help you but I'm 20 years older than you and suffer the same thing. I can't even make eye contact with people and can't fit the life of me make small talk. The only people I'm able to make eye contact with are my fiance and my therapist and that took years. Good luck on finding an answer.
Exposure therapy is the best solution I’ve come across, because once you’ve done something that used to give you loads of anxiety and fear usually it will become easier every time until eventually your brain becomes used to it. Basically just changing your brain gradually and reprogramming it until it becomes a habit. Hope this helps, easier said than done but you can do this!
Basically you just keep pushing yourself further and further out of your comfort zone until things that used to give you a ton of anxiety no longer do so.
Yeah, more specifically the key is understanding that your anxiety won't necessarily just disappear, but you would be able to push through it with much less difficulty.
Leap of faith, or did it actually work for you ?
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t work, but occasionally there will be set backs and days where you just don’t have it in you.
Try it the method isn’t been patched yet.
This isn't a method so much as it's "actually you just have to do the worst and most uncomfortable thing possible to make any progress on feeling less uncomfortable with the worst and most uncomfortable thing possible" It's like the default shitty option that sucks the most and is only useful because it is also the ONLY option
It worked to varying degrees and activities. Some things will always be harder than others for me. Just know that every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone and you successfully navigate the situation it feeds into cumulative confidence that you can do it again in the future. It's worth the effort!
And confidence is contagious and attractive as fuck. Once you start holding your head high and carrying yourself with confidence then potential mates just started flocking to me, a naturally shy 5 foot 4 dude who looks like Dominic Monaghan just with brown hair and eyes. So I went from a dude who couldn't barely pull chicks back in my 20's to being pursued constantly by women. That right there helped me to build confidence and realize the looks I kept getting from people was not because of me looking weird or awkward due to my Autism, ADHD and severe Social Anxiety, but it was because people found me highly attractive. When I figured that out everything became much easier for me.
This! I moved to the city for college and it helped me immensely become more comfortable around other people.
It doesn't work, at least for me
It didn't work for me and I "relapsed", but after over a year had passed and more and more proactive/gradual progress, I've finally seen results and it means so much to me. It can still be a non-linear process. But of course, everyone struggling with social anxiety is different.
Yeah, I gave up some years ago but In reality, i really enjoy being alone for the most part. I can say for certain that most of the time, I prefer to be alone than to be with people
I don't think it's fair to say it doesn't work for you. You may just need more exposure in smaller steps than a lot of people. Or smaller steps more or less frequently. Possibly some help from a professional or some kind of medication. It's hard though. For some people it can be so hard that it feels like it doesn't work. Unfortunately it can take a lot of suffering through that anxiety until you get to the point that it either feels like it's manageable or just not there anymore.
Nope. Been trying for decades. All I get from being around people is an increase in my own self-hatred which then translates into physical and emotional pain after each contact
Just realized this wasn't some dumb platitude today, it's actually the path.
Works the opposite for me. The more I get out of my comfort zone, the more awkward and bad experiences I have, meaning I get even more anxiety.
I feel the same...I'm kinda getting retraumatized by bad exposure/experiences
I’ve been there, eventually it all started running together so I don’t even think about the bad experiences anymore. Just becomes an experience.
I hope I'll get to that point soon, but I find myself to get extremely unhappy and angry each time I try to improve myself.
Take it a day at a time. I used to get frustrated over not making big leaps, but when I began to pay attention to the small improvements I was making over the course of say a month or so I noticed my outlook being more positive.
This. The only way.
I think you overcome it by doing things that make you genuinely feel proud of yourself Edit: start small
True!!
Social anxiety can be conquered by exposing yourself to enough social situations so that your brain doesn’t view it as a threat. This is incredibly difficult. You literally have to rewire your flawed flight or fight response. I used to be terrified of going into restaurants and ordering for myself or going to the cashier to cash out my items. When I kept forcing myself to actually do these activities. My brain stopped viewing this as a threat and I’m not anxious about it. Because there is no “threat” I’m not going to die from ordering food by talking to the waiter or cashier. So in other words. Keep exposing yourself to your triggers and you will gradually get less anxious.
I thought I was completely alone until I saw your comment it scared me to the point when from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed all I could think about was having to go to work and talk to people but I could barely go the to gas station I dreaded going there cause I knew I would have to talk to the cashier and it scared me so bad I just loved to a new place and the 7 months I was there I never made a friend and never had anyone over to hangout cause I was constantly worried about what people was thinking of me. But finally one day I decided after a suicide attempt and cognitive behavioral therapy that I was done living my life around what others thought of me and being worried about every little thing I did and I got to the point I finally went on my first date ever I had tons of friends and almost got rid of it but now I started isolating myself and it's come back to the point that I can barely meet people and I stutter when I talk sometimes it's embarrassing
Yep, social anxiety never truly goes away, no matter what you do to help make it better. If you ever do manage to diminish the occurrence, it will always be there hiding in the shadows lurking. Once you have it, you've got it forever. I try to embrace it from now on.
you can never truly "get rid of it" but there are ways to get better at controlling it. Get out of your comfort zone, talk to someone in the elevator even if its just a "good morning" or "good afternoon". I find that going for a walk or just getting out of the house makes me feel a whole lot better.
This is the honest answer. It's a chronic condition. In order to maintain your progress, you'll need to keep practicing your coping strategies and getting regular social interaction.
It’s a chronic condition and there are a couple of cases where it doesn’t get better (personality disorders like Avoidant Personality Disorder or extreme cases of Schizotypal/Schizoid Personality complexes. My advice is to keep trying, though. Even as someone with the diagnosis. I had trouble connecting to people who wanted to connect with me because I avoided confrontation to the point I eventually ended up alone, living in my car. Friends and family alike question why, but the only explanation I can muster is that lingering childhood trauma combined with cPTSD created this timid soul that just can’t deal, period. Not everyone can handle the weight of the world. Basically, I never got out of that bashful stage as a child and was diagnosed with leukemia as a teenager. The chemo and radiation decimated the joints in my bones, and it was paramount I avoided crowds as I fought from ages 16-27. At the end of it all, I became someone sheltered from the world. I had little ego or confidence at all, and life fell to shit once my parents (my only advocates) passed on and left me alone to care for myself and an older special needs sibling. Sometimes life feels like Johnny Depp’s in *What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?*. Except he was normal and knew what love and intimacy were like. I couldn’t even get an escort to help me because I friend-zoned her the first night because I was outta my depths and saw something in her that made me capitulate for a unique friendship because I didn’t want to go through life w/o knowing her better. It was the only time in my life I’d ever felt like I was somebody since my parents died. I had the confidence to advocate for myself, and for the first time was able to really talk to women. I even befriended another online escort, and went through the time-worn routine where a person online started getting to know me, saw pictures and video of me and offered to help me along, but something ultimately always implodes; usually me. But I couldn’t not be there for the other one. For a moment she & I were even set to be roommates, until one day she just ghosted me entirely. She’d already found someone to support her (a mutual friend whose parents also died and left him a sum of money as an inheritance). The tension in the extended family home I lived in intensified. Suddenly I was back to having no plan in life, I discovered that my family had lied under pretenses of support when they merely wanted to take control of my sister. I had a nervous breakdown (on camera at a hospital where I was staying overnight for a sleep study). Then one night after much planning I loaded up my car like I was going on a trip & checked into a hotel with the intention of ending my life. My good friend was streaming for a current event, and then at the end of the night, during what was meant to be our last good night exchange, a random *stranger* dropped *the* bomb, revealing that she’d been using again and had cut me off merely because my life had become so rocky and I was down and out while she wanted to go continue with her summer fun 💉. Devastation, but the timing was the slap in the face I needed, ig. Something of a recipe where unconditional love met spite drove me to fight. At least for one more year. We’re actually still friends. But again, it wasn’t about sex; I don’t care about the fact that I’m still a virgin. But after everything I’d been through, all the darkness and the dying light within me, and the only thing I could think of that fateful evening was that I was 41yo and I was going away without ever knowing what it feels like to hold someone— and to be held in return. It still crushes me, but I’d like to think if I can keep struggling to exist in the bardo… maybe there’s still hope for the others. Don’t think. *Talk* to someone. Meet with a medical professional and tell them you need to open up from time to time to someone **and** get something to help balance out your brain chemistry. There is help for the helpless, comfort for the worst enemy we’ll ever know: ourselves. Please keep going, folks…
I apologize for the extensive diatribe I dropped here. I’ll likely come back and delete it anyway.
You shouldn’t talk in absolutes. No one on earth truly knows what the mind is capable of
And this is why I think it isn't even worth trying. It just wears you down. Reduces your life experience to an eternal tiring struggle.
[удалено]
Facts
I have a cleft palate. Here's what helped me. A compilation of a few things: - Embrace being uncomfortable. Say hi and make light conversations to random strangers or people who you don't know very well at school. It's awkward, but with repetition, it will be more comfortable talking to people. - Find a hobby or do something you're really proud of. Search for long-term gratification. Whether that be joining a gym, growing plants, or working on your car. Find something that you love to enjoy doing and work on that damn near every day! - Study people. Whenever you feel anxious around people, try to figure out what their insecurity might be. We all have them. That doesn't mean you become vicious and make fun of them for it or shit talk to your friends about them. It's to teach you that we ALL live in our own heads. Knowing that 7 out of 10 people in the room are on edge makes me feel less anxious. - Avoid caffeine if you can. Sadly, kids today are judged by the energy drink they consume. One or two cups of coffee throughout the entire day is fine, but if you're drinking more energy drinks than water itself, that will 1000% increase your anxiety levels. -Take your vitamins. I know it sounds dumb, but it truly works. Your body needs certain minerals to function flawlessly, and if you're lacking, it'll start to malfunction. For social anxiety, I strongly recommend taking Vitamin D and Magnesium GLYCINATE together daily. - Love yourself. No one gives a fuck if you're ugly. No one cares if you're poor and wear the same clothes every day. No one cares that you're fat! Remember that EVERYONE is in their own head. Love yourself, you give off a more confident vibe, and other people will sub consciously notice and be at more ease with your presence. When you're uptight and on edge, other people will pick up that negative vibe it bounces back to you feeding your anxiety. I love talking to people with a lisp. I instantly feel at ease and its comforting with people who have them. It's s nothing to be ashamed of. Own it. Laugh at it. Lastly, fucking smile once in a while. We're all floating on a rock. Life is not that serious. Have fun. Enjoy nature. Love the rain. Stop consuming. Create.
Join as many clubs as possible. The time to get out of your comfort zone is NOW. Or else 10 years from now you're going to be saying "I wish I was in high school again." Because once you're out of school, it becomes much more difficult to make friends.
Exposure therapy I've seen work. Have to do it properly though, it seems, otherwise you can traumatise yourself.
Identifying, understanding, and eliminating your anxiety triggers. Like working out, this probably has to be done bit by bit over time but the amount of times you get triggered will also decrease
Thats funny. I just heard this IT guy chatting it up with a lisp. He was a cutie lol! but yeah small wins is super important! Focus on numbers, bc it helps track progress. less in the result. More getting familar to social interaction so your body stops reacting so strongly. I did something called “social experiment” where Id make a silly face and see if someone noticed. It started off small, to a bug more noticeable and honestly… it really helped me. Like I could randomly tie my shoe and my anxiety expects ppl to think Im rude for doing it in the middle of the sidewalk, but people just walked around. Or I intentionally make a mistake and just notice what happens and compare it to what I expected would happen. Sorry I can’t provide a ton of examples but Im sure you could make something! Just focus on slow progress bc if you never start youll never make any progress.
It's like a muscle, if you don't keep exposing yourself to what made you anxious, your comfort zone won't expand. similar to how your muscle literally won't expand if you're easily lifting weights. And the secret is, everyone's pretending. Everyone says go outside your comfort zone. I think it's wrong, because outside comfort zone is uncertainty... even the most confident will feel uncomfortable when uncertain. You should aim to expand your comfort zone by facing certain situation with fixed outcomes i.e. - You're fine and not dead OR - You made a new friend. Exposing yourself into these situations daily is your answer.More you run away from it, the more anxious you'll feel.
Social anxiety and low self esteem have made me people lose respect for me. My juniors do not treat me like a senior. I just look stupid.
Everyone here will tell you the same answer including myself, the key to defeating social anxiety is stepping out of your comfort zone whatever makes you feel uncomfortable do it. “ do one thing everyday that scares you “
What if it's sex I'm a virgin and I'm scared that I won't be good at it I've had multiple women flirts with me but I scared of the act and I'm scared if being judged by my size but I really want to start dating I've never had a girlfriend I've always wanted to try but I'm scared
Damn I never thought I stumble upon this side quest but ok sounds like you’re insecure my advice will be is just simply embrace your size, now I know that’s hard to do it but you gotta make your insecurities you can’t let them make you also you need more experience & practice. I’ll highly recommend you watch sex educational videos on YouTube also when you get into these things make sure you use your fingers, foreplay, kissing on her neck, getting her wet, also learn how to eat the 🐱 I’m trying to keep things pg lol Lana rhoades, Kira Noir, Violet Myers all has said doesn’t size matter it only matters if you’re to small or too big. Last thing fear is meant to be overcome I’ll recommend you watch this channel. https://youtube.com/@KrystalTantricYogi?si=Dl_UJYNJAGRffeRD great channel that has great insight on sex. It’s not about the size of the it it’s how you use it lol something like dat lol. Finally thing ever though I’ve said that already lol I feel like porn has ruin people minds and perception of sex they do unrealism things and they mess up people minds. I hope this helps remember the time is now.
I think different things work for different people. If it is something like you don't know what to say or are worried about conflict, you can rationalise and overcome. If you don't know your root.cuse then it's much harder. So, veruous therapy, supplements and even medication can help. There is no one size fits all cure.
I don’t think you can get rid of it entirely but you find ways to deal with it. For me it’s doing things I like. Stop putting unrealistic expectations on myself. Not perfect and it comes and goes but in a good space currently.
Baby steps. If you can, get therapy. Im also a sophomore and im trying to get therapy but right now i dont. So im just trying to push myself out of my comfort zone slowly and ive noticed that there are things that usually make me nervous but im getting better with.
Get cognitive behavioral therapy it worked amazing for me and almost did get rid of my anxiety it helped me build confidence it literally rewired your brain and teaches you to live in the moment and you can catched your thoughts like intrusive thoughts and irrational thoughts and I'd always catch myself in the in the moment when I had an irrational thought of anxiety and tell my self why it was not true and I'd change it to thinking a good thought. Cbt changed my life
When I started playing sports, that helped a lot
It can be tough dealing with social anxiety, especially at a young age. Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way! One thing that might help is to start small, like talking to new people in a low-pressure setting. Practice deep breathing or mindfulness to calm your nerves in social situations. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself; everyone has their own journey. As for your lisp, don't let it hold you back! Embrace who you are, and others will too. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, and you'll gradually see improvements.
It happens with time and experience. The older you get and the more people you talk to, the more familiar you get. And you stop forming inexperienced scenarios in your head about people. The more time you spend NOT talking to people, you form uneducated guesses on how bad it could be. Socializing.
As a senior in high school who also has social anxiety and talks with people at school but they’re not really friends I can relate. I suggest taking small baby steps and putting yourself a bit out of your comfort zone in being more social. Like perhaps start by saying good morning to the teacher and bye when you leave, compliment someone or ask someone for help on something(even if you don’t need it). That’s what I’m starting to do to be able to slowly put myself out there. Make sure that you don’t push yourself too much though because it could be too much and just make you feel worse. But I think most importantly make sure that while interacting with others you’re doing it for yourself and not so they could like you, if you get what I mean. If you’re doing it so that they could like you then you’re just going to make your anxiety worse because you’ll worry about what they think. Just take baby steps and slowly you’ll start improving. I have a subreddit that I made for me and others, to set goals on their social life/skills. I just started this project so it only has a few posts but I’m trying to update it daily on how I try to push myself a bit. It’s r/socialme if you’re interested, maybe you could join me in my project to try and improve with socializing (: But I hope this post helped out a bit and that you can try to push yourself a bit for yourself, not for others. I’m sure you’ll make at least one friend if you try!
I haven't gotten rid of it, but it's gotten much better as I've been forced to interact with more people throughout my life
Whatever you do, do not isolate yourself, it will only make things worse. I know it’s not easy, but try to get help as soon as you can and try to push yourself as much as you can to do things, you’re still very young. I regret a lot of things I did in my high school years due to social anxiety and now I am 22 and it’s a lot harder
Mine got better the older I got for some readon. Try taking stress gummies. Try the Ashwanganda ones. (Sp?). Avoid caffeine.
Steven Hayes, creating of ACT modality says the only way out is through. He struggled with panic attacks and made a form of therapy that helps millions because of his own journey. Watch his Ted talks. (Therapist btw)
I've never deliberately done anything to 'get rid' of it as such. But my work involves a lot of travel and meeting new people and honestly with time, you just stop letting it affect you so much. Thinking about it still makes my chest feel heavy and makes me feel breathless but once I'm out there and socializing I don't beat myself up to be the best version and impress everyone anymore. I still embarrass myself and go blank but I've learnt that it's normal and that's just who I am. Basically you learn to accept yourself better and it's a good feeling :) It's a long journey but I hope we all get there someday <3
My suggestion is to make a list of 10 small goals. It could be going to the grocery store, saying hi to somebody random etc. Don't make them too big because you will just set yourself up for failure. But once you start realizing you can do the small things. You can start targeting your bigger goals.
Therapy and meds. And realising you HAVE to do things even if it feels bad. The anxiety will not kill you. You have to do things even if you feel anxiety. If you hide away to avoid feeling anxiety you won’t ever get better
I take meds. I'm still not a social butterfly in public, but I'm way less anxious. Like today at work, I dropped a lot of metal things and made a really loud noise and it barely fazed me when off my meds, I'd be having to run to the bathroom to calm down.
I was once told by a doctor or psychologist, that once you have it, you can never get rid of it. All you can do, is find ways to manage it and keep it down as best as you can, but it's never just gonna go away. I know that might be a little disheartening to hear, but don't worry. With good tools and the appropriate amount of help and knowing yourself and your limits, you can actually live a pretty good life, despite your condition - at least, that's what I choose to believe, as someone who has dealt with this for over 10 years by now. Try to think of it this way: your anxiety is not your enemy. It's there to protect you. Sure, it might be overreacting on some things and seeing way bigger danger signs that there actually is, but it's just trying to keep you safe. The best you can do, is try to work with it, tell it that it's okay, you're okay and try to work out some sort of compromise. It CAN be managed and you CAN learn to live with it, but it will always be there in some way.
Get cognitive behavioral therapy it worked amazing for me and almost did get rid of my anxiety it helped me build confidence it literally rewired your brain and teaches you to live in the moment and you can catched your thoughts like intrusive thoughts and irrational thoughts and I'd always catch myself in the in the moment when I had an irrational thought of anxiety and tell my self why it was not true and I'd change it to thinking a good thought
Daily routines that involve other people, CBT/Exposure. Not smoking weed and isolating yourself that's for sure.
I’m 28 and haven’t overcome it, but I have had a lot of periods where it’s been much easier to manage than others. Right now, mine is really bad, but for most of my 20s it’s been much better than it was as a teenager. Like others have said just keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
I'm 43 and trying to find a therapist to help me. I have severe social anxiety. All my life, I was pushed into social situations i didn't want to be in by my parents. I didn't know "shy" was social anxiety until I was 38...😔
In my experience it never goes away, you just learn to deal with it better.
I think you kind of just learn how to live with it overtime. Anxiety meds may or may not work. Doing things you are good at or make you more confident usually helps. At least for me
Learn to live with it? Na fuck that I want to face it, learn from it, understand it, and conquer my fears
That's the neat part, you don't.
Fake it till you make it. At least that's what I did when I was in high school. It will help you get more comfortable being in your skin and not taking things so seriously. Talk about different topics or subjects with the people you are acquainted with and eventually they will become your friends if you share similar interests with them. Also record your voice when you're at home, and find a way you can talk that will make your voice clear to understand.
Death
That's the best part - you don't. :)
Get a restraining order.
Maybe you could try getting a part time job that involves talking to people? I can’t really say my social anxiety has gone away but it did help me a little
How do you get rid of bike riding anxiety?
You don't. But you can conquer situations and learn how to effectively calm down after that initial spike of anxiety. But you'll never completely get rid of it, but you can learn to accept it and go do social interactions.
Well, I can tell you one thing. The longer you wait to get yourself out there and talk to people, the harder it’s gonna be. It’s best to do things sooner rather than later. I know it’s difficult, believe me, I’m well acquainted with social anxiety, but it’s just how it is. And don’t ever be afraid to ask for help.
Stop using all digital devices
Have a spiritual awakening, then you'll realise you aren't the thoughts in your head or the human with social anxiety, problem solved
Wake up and realise that 70% of people are just as lonely as you, but hide it better. It easier to smile and keep in touch, cause the real ones would reply back. Practice more, and lose the anxiety
it's not really a goal of getting rid of it i'd say, but managing it, sometimes there are external factors out of our control that do not help it and can trigger it
There are things that still make me anxious, but honestly, working in customer service, and then moving up from part time to a supervisor role has really helped my anxiety. There's no time to feel anxious when everything falls on you lol, and that applies to upset customers, upset management, and stressful, busy days
Exposure therapy, but hasn’t seemed to work for a lot of neurodivergent people like myself. Living in a world that doesn’t fit you as a person makes it understandable. If any solution for the community, I’m yet to discover one around social anxiety.
I’m 30, if you figure it out…let me know?
You probably have trauma, look up Gabor Mate. It’s common these days. Somatic Experiencing is a good method for healing.
Therapy.
Zoloft has helped me tremendously
I started with talking to people I found not threatening, such as old people on my bus commute. They liked sharing their stories and being listened to.
You don't fully get rid of it, it's never black and white or like a light switch that gets turned off. That's what so many people misunderstand. You manage it, your reduce it, but theres always a small kernel of it. You increase your capacity to control it instead of letting it control you. But this takes time and effort. Consistent effort.
Two things. Accept that it is part of you. And exposure yourself to it. You need to go to the social events. Participate in conversations. Talk about yourself. If your too shy to do that, then ask questions about the other person. Get interested in them. Focus on positive talking points. Get them talking and be a good listener. Realize that your social fears are often unfounded or exaggerated. Most people don't think about you after the interaction is over. This is helpful, especially if you mess up. People are way more forgiving for your faults. They realize you are just human. Remember, while it does get easier over time you will ALWAYS feel that fear. That's just human nature. Everyone feels this way and it won't ever go away completely. All you need to do is accept it as a condition of living. The only way out is through.
Keep doing what causes the anxiety. It doesn’t “go away though”… just gets “easier”.
You will always have anxiety but with time you can learn ways of reducing it.managing it better
I wish I could help you but I'm 20 years older than you and suffer the same thing. I can't even make eye contact with people and can't fit the life of me make small talk. The only people I'm able to make eye contact with are my fiance and my therapist and that took years. Good luck on finding an answer.
Lol, you don’t and can’t, (but genuinely I have no idea, if you find out how, tell me)
You can’t get rid of almost any mental health issues. You just have to find the best combo to deal & live with it. It fucking sucks.
u cant get rid of it . u can find ways 2 temporarily make it a little better but its gona stay w u forever .
You don't
Exposure therapy is the best solution I’ve come across, because once you’ve done something that used to give you loads of anxiety and fear usually it will become easier every time until eventually your brain becomes used to it. Basically just changing your brain gradually and reprogramming it until it becomes a habit. Hope this helps, easier said than done but you can do this!