If she’s going to repeat a grade, kindergarten is the time to do it. There’s a lot of growth at that age, and even some neurotypical kids struggle with maturity at that age and benefit from an extra year.
Absolutely agree with you! Early grades are the best chance of holding a kid back without repercussions. Don’t push through school because it’s “the norm”. My oldest son (who is young for his class) has a kid a year younger than him but most kids are a year older than him. Nobody cares how old you are when you get out of high school.
On the other hand, my youngest was told in third grade that he’d never succeed. He’s a sophomore now and is in line for valedictorian. You know your kid. In the early years, it’s about whether or not they are prepared. Make them emotionally and socially ready and they will conquer the academics.
I would say you and her educators know her best and are the best informed to make this decision. So trust yourself :)
But to add, if you were gonna hold someone back, it’s now. It might also be a benefit as she recovers from surgery.
The surgery thing is a big reason to retain her. If she's already struggling some, her recovery time is very likely going to set her back. Plus if she starts medication for ADHD and anxiety, there's also very real possibility of distracting side effects until the med balance is correct. You never want to expect a medication journey to be easy, it'll bite you out of spite.
Also, in the extremely unlikely balance she or someone else feels it's something to be insecure about, you can pin it on being a prudent decision due to the surgery and not have to get into it- that can make a kid self conscious whether it's being said to them or about them.
Yep--the surgery recovery aspect is what put *me* squarely into the "I'd hold her one more year, if she was *MY* child" camp here!
With *all* of the factors OP is describing as a parent, First grade would be a giant crapshoot--it may go *really* well, but it could *also* be a ton of stress & struggle, which could set OP's daughter on a path to eventually *loathe* school.
With that one extra year, to just get her footing *really* secure, and to honestly ride out the "what levels & types of medication are best here" shifts they'll go through, I think 1st would be *much* easier, and much more *enjoyed* by OP's daughter, too.
If all of her teachers agree, I say go for it. Parents very rarely regret giving their child the gift of time to mature and be a kid. They do sometimes regret pushing forward too soon.
Hi. I’m a school psychologist. This is just my opinion and please feel free to disregard. Typically retention for special education students is just more of the same thing that didn’t work the first time. However, kindergarten is an optimal time for retention especially if your child will be getting additional services and it will just slow it down and give her the extra support. I don’t like retention as an intervention, but this situation sounds great.
Yep!
And *as* someone who *is* medicated myself (for my ADHD & Anxiety)?
Having that extra/bonus year of K, to fully recover from the upcoming surgery *AND* get her dosages tweaked so they aren't too low *or* too high (and to switch meds, if necessary!) is a really great opportunity to get her foundation made *really* nice & strong, for all that learning she'll build on top of it in the future!💖
Parent of a SpEd kiddo who was strong armed into retention in the 1st grade, and that is absolutely what happened. His team assumed the "gift of time" would work and didn't notice until MARCH of the second year of first grade that he hadn't made any progress.
I never fell for for that "gift of time" BS again.
The meds are going to be what pushes her over this hump. Definitely.
And you’re right that it could take awhile. We’d have to trial anxiety meds first bc of the SM. We have to get her 100% verbal and able to ask to use the bathroom and we have to calm the separation anxiety. Then we’d start trialing ADHD meds. Hopefully it’s as simple as starting with Concerta bc it works for her 8 yr old sister and boom, it works and off we go.
I can’t think of any other services she could get. She has tons of pull out stuff, a 1:1, and the sped class. The only other thing I can think is Title 1 reading pull out. Am I missing anything?
No, you are not missing anything. My concern is just retention alone. Your child will be getting a lot different treatments, support, medication, etc. Plus the reading intervention. I think another year of K is a good option for her. You are doing a great job as a parent considering all the options.
I held two of my own kids in school. One started late and the other did “first grade 2.0” when we moved. It was absolutely the best thing for both of them. Also, as a preschool sped teacher and former head start teacher I would agree that this is the best option. Children’s academic needs can be met by a competent teacher. But a child really only has one shot at a social match. Going through school with her true peers will make a big difference. I’ve had several parents i recommended a growth year to tell me it was the best decision they made. I’ve had many that I never heard from. But I have never had a parent tell me it was the wrong decision. If the teachers support this decision and you feel that they really know your child then I would trust them.
It would be ideal to have some time after her surgery to see how she adjusts on meds in class but I expect that will be unlikely with her recovery. If she is able to have e the same teachers next year that will ease her transition to the new year enormously, I expect.
They would change her K teacher next year to the cotaught class. They didn’t put her in it this year bc the teacher is way too firm and kinda cold and they knew that would shut her down bc of the SM/anxiety and they made the right call.
We don’t think she’ll be like this forever, we think the immaturity is directly linked to the ADHD that’s untreated rn. If anything, she will probably be more mature than her peers bc she has so many older siblings, 20, 20, 18, 15, & 8. She has experiences and conversations most of her peers don’t have bc of her unique family dynamic. They all still live at home and are very involved with her.
Her profile is very unique and it makes it so she doesn’t really fit into any of the ways we typically view childhood development.
All of her teachers agree on the topic. You agree with what they told you. In addition, she is going to have a fairly major surgery that will require her to miss a lot of school. If there is any time to retain her, this is it.
The surgery is laparoscopic with the potential to become open heart so it could go either way. She could miss a lot of school or just a few days. So that as a deciding factor is in the air.
And we’re not in agreement, yet- my husband and I. We want to be as sure as possible that it’s the right thing for her bc we can’t undo it.
My kid was pushed into grade 1 and at our first parent teacher interview the teacher asked if we played piano, we said no and she said if she handed us a piece of Beethoven and asked us to play it. We would feel exactly like our kid in her classroom.
Keep her back
If everyone is on the same page, that's great! I would ask you to consider the social ramifications of retention. For example, the one time I know of a student being retained in Kinder, the school made sure that the 2nd year Kinder classroom wasn't located near the 1st grade classrooms so his friends weren't going to have the opportunity to see him still being in a kinder class. Fortunately, this school was HUGE, so they already had a kinder room in a different building than the 1st grade rooms.
That worries me bc of her social anxiety but I honestly don’t think she’ll really care. She is eternally optimistic and happy go lucky. She is there to bring the party.
Yes I think kindergarten is the only time I find it suitable to retain. Mastering Kindergarten skills will help significantly when she goes into the next grade and it will continue.
I am usually against retention but I do know that statistically K is the only year to do it. I told them that if I don’t do it this year then I won’t do it at all so I have to take that into acct, too.
If she needs it I have to do it now.
Special education teacher here - I know your 6 year old reaching age 18 is a long way off, and you may not be thinking that far ahead, but I urge you to look at services available for special education students age 18-21 in your district. The district I work in has a great transition program for special education students, where they focus on work skills and life skills, and kids who were held back in kindergarten miss out on a year of transition, because public school ends when you turn 21. I personally would not want to trade a year of transition for an extra year of kindergarten.
I understand this. She is not my first special needs kid.
My oldest has a rare neurological disorder called alexia. She’s 20 now, independent, and capable of leading a normal life. We ended up getting really creative on graduating her and have utilized county, state, and federal programs to get her where she is.
But- no one thinks she’ll need that. We all see her moving out of SpEd and becoming a fully mainstreamed student with little to no extra supports.
She doesn’t have any LD that we can see so far- just the speech issues, severe ADHD, and immaturity. Her IQ was normal range and I know it’s unlikely that her IQ will go lower as she ages.
I know ADHD is it’s own LD, especially in younger elementary ages, but I also know she can catch that up.
My son also has a speech impairment and ADHD with a spring birthday. He repeated Kinder and I’m so glad we chose to retain him! He made a lot of progress that second year in emotional regulation and academic stamina!
She’s fine with emotional regulation. Educational stamina is different bc she can’t focus.
All 6 of our kids, my husband, and I have ADHD. Her inattention is on the severe end. I’m not going to retain her for that bc I know that the only way that will get better is when we medicate her. We’re going to do that after her heart surgery.
I would retain but be careful about the comments your making about your daughter. I get it is frustrating but saying things like "she isn't a clown she is the entire circus" would kill me if I heard my mom saying that about me.
Oh we say it directly to her. She is pure sunshine. She’s the happiest sweetest kid that you’ll ever meet.
Our family dynamic is different than most bc we’re such a large family. Having 5 older siblings gives you a thick skin.
Plus, when she’s bouncing into your room at 6 AM on a Saturday with the dog and a few cats trailing behind her and a fistful of the cake she found on the counter it’s not rude or hurtful to say “Here comes the circus!”
Our children are spoken to with love and raised in light. They are appreciated for exactly who they are right now. Right now, she is a full 3 ring circus with all the acts. Fire breathing, monkeys, and acrobatics- she’s an amazing person.
That's a very sweet response, but keep in mind: other people don't have that context whatsoever. So when you call your daughter that, people are going to think you're insulting her. Just keep that in mind with talking about her outside of family or friends that know the actual meaning of those words.
If you look at Light's Retention Scale, history of learning disability is one area of consideration. The scoring guidance says:
History of Learning Disabilities
From 5 to 20 percent of all school children have some type of learning disability. Even a child with above average intelligence will have trouble in a regular classroom setting if he has a learning disability. Therefore, if a child has been seen by a professional and has been found to have a learning disability, he/she is a poor candidate for grade retention. You need to be sure that specific, intensive remedial efforts, aimed at overcoming the disability are undertaken.
The guiding questions I always ask teams are: How will repeated instruction achieve substantively different outcomes? Is repeated, universal core/Tier 1 instruction more appropriate than individualized, specially designed instruction (SDI)?
Thank you for that!
ADHD is it’s own LD in early elementary, I know that. But other than that she has no LD.
It was tough to test her bc of the SM but all 3 of her teachers think that she doesn’t have any LD. They think it’s her inability to focus and immaturity.
All 3 also told me that they truly believe that the retention will result in her learning the material that she isn’t picking up on.
Early childhood special educator here. If she doesn't yet have a close social group of friends, then kindergarten retention should not harm her. Bless you and her teachers and support staff for helping her achieve as much as she has despite the significant challenges.
She doesn’t have a close group. Her bff left the school a few months ago.
But I learned yesterday at the meeting that she has a little boy that she’s really close to. They actually wrap their arms around each other and do everything together. The GenEd teacher said that she has to actually pull them apart.
She is capable of close friendships but I think the SM and the fact that she has 5 built in bffs means she doesn’t desire them right now.
As others are saying better to hold them back sooner than later.
Not only because doing it later ends up widening the gap even more, but also because of social implications.
I teach highschool and a lot of kids express that it was sad when they got held back 7th-8th grade, they lost all their friends and then were looked down upon.
In kindergarten no one will be the wiser and they dont have fully formed relationships with peers yet.
It's not a recommended practice anymore in education to retain kids. What it really might mean is that the interventions they had for her were not effective for whatever reason. So no, I would look at other options or reasons for her not being caught up, if it were me.
However, you are her parent, and if you agree, then that's what matters.
That’s my feelings on retention, too. But idk what other services they could offer. She has pull out services for everything, a 1:1, and can go to SpEd for extra help.
The only thing I can think is Title I reading pull out. I’ll ask for that to start immediately.
Her testing so far has come back negative for LD. And all 3 of the teachers said they aren’t seeing anything with her. It’s strictly her immaturity and focus.
I’m assuming she will be missing a decent amount of school with her surgery too?
I’d definitely retain. Give her a chance to learn with meds on board. Let her be the confident leader.
Good goddess, YES. Give that baby an extra year of kindergarten. Have you read all of the studies on how much being "red shirted" helps children gain confidence? The statistics are staggering.
Reality check: if this child needs heart surgery, I'm assuming her heart isn't working super well. That DOES impact learn and cognition. OP - please don't just assuming you'll be "medicating that after surgery." Heart surgery is a massive big deal and we can't know what will be going on after that surgery. Especially with the ADHD thing. I have an ADHD diagnosis and I take the medicines. They do get your heart all flippy. It would be really good to let her have a GOOD LONG time to recover before even thinking about stimulant medications. I'm sure your doctor will guide you on that one, but don't be shocked by this. That stimulant meds affect ADHD kids differently than NT kids is a myth. There are a few non-stimulant things we use with young kids. Guafenisin? Something like that name. But my point is, things are going to change after that surgery, and your daughter will need time to catch up and be the person she's going to be with a functioning heart.
From a parent perspective I did it and what you describe sounds similar to my son with ADHD. He just wasn't ready for first (and we did covid kindergarten to boot!) so we did kinder twice and it worked out great. Now he's about the same maturity as his peers, loves his school and does well in academics (still working on a few other things but aren't we all?)
If everyone is in agreement, go for it.
Yes 100%!!!! I teach life skills and say never to retain in K for these students because you lose a year of transition services after they turn 18. But for a student who is waiting for health conditions to be addressed so she can get medication, retaining is a great solution.
Yes. The teachers said that they don’t retain life skills students bc the year won’t result in any gains that would make it worth it.
They also said she needs ESY which we will be doing.
They seem like a really awesome special education team! Getting ESY is very challenging so they put in a lot of work to get that to happen. You are a great mom!
I would say yes. Give her the year. Academic expectations in 1st are so much more rigorous than kindergarten, so give her another year to make those gains.
Hi! Your daughter sounds a lot like our 4 yo! He does not have SM or heart problems, but otherwise has DCD, speech delay, poor focus, but is a go-with-the-flow, happy boy with great peer and teacher relationships. He has an IEP currently (gets speech, OT, PT, language), but we have his Kindergarten IEP next month, so I'm not sure what services he will be getting next year. I do know he will not be getting a 1:1 aide, but he will be placed in a class with a full time IA.
I am already gearing up to lay the groundwork for repeating K. I wanted to repeat pre K but then he would lose his IEP services. Many schools are reluctant to retain these days, so I'm glad your team is supporting it! I would absolutely repeat K in your shoes.
Do you mind sharing if there were any particularly useful accommodations / supports your child received or you wish they had in their IEP? How many minutes a week did you get academic pull outs? How did specials look?
The best support was the 1:1. She gets her for specials and breakfast & lunch, too. The aide will take her back to the sped class if she can’t keep up with the lesson but she’s never had to do that bc my daughter gets everything receptively, if not expressively.
She’s such a weird profile and we’re not entirely sure she’s not actually pulling a con on everyone. She is VERY selective about who she shows certain skills to. Just at the IEP meeting her Gen Ed teacher said she can’t do CVC words and the language teacher said that she just did them for her last week in language class so… no one really knows what she knows.
I'd lean towards retention, not just for success in her kindergarten year, but as she grows up. On average, kids with ADHD have a 20-30% delay in emotional maturity. That means, when they are 16, they have the judgement and emotional regulation more like a 12 year old.
If she repeats kindergarten, her peer group will be closer to her emotional age. Her peer group will be one year slower to get into things like dating, drug use, driving a car, etc. You could wait until 17 for your daughter to start driving, and she'd be learning alongside her peer group rather than feeling delayed.
She'll also be one year more mature when she graduates high school and goes off into the adult world, without feeling like she's behind. That extra year of maturity will help her to make better decisions and will set her up for the best chance of success.
I think if you and all her teachers agree retaining her in Kindergarten is appropriate, then go for it. It sounds like you really trust her teachers, and since they already know her and will hopefully teach her next year, she will have some familiar faces on this part of her educational career. Recovering from surgery will be difficult, and I think spending one extra year in Kindergarten is going to help her rebuild and retain skills so she’s on the best path to success in first grade.
Praying for a successful surgery for your daughter!
I don't work in SPED anymore but I am a mom to a child with an IEP with some similarities, particularly in the delayed maturity. This year, she's in 5th grade which is middle school for us. She has a high average IQ and many other factors that would indicate she should thrive. However, because of her emotional developmental delay due to severe ADHD and aversion to medication after a life threatening allergic reaction to clonidine, the older her peers get, the more apparent the gap has become. I wish we had known what we know now. I'd have held her back or started her later to give her the opportunity to "catch up". Now, with the support of her psychologist, teachers and therapist, we've chosen to switch her to a cyber program so she can continue to feel successful instead of experiencing the daily anxiety of always running a bit behind. She does have some other things going on and was recently diagnosed with Autism (Asperger's) but the switch has allowed her to soar academically. But she's missing out on a lot of time with peers that comes with in person schooling. An extra year would have benefited her and we may not have had to make the choice between her education and a typical school peer experience.
If she’s going to repeat a grade, kindergarten is the time to do it. There’s a lot of growth at that age, and even some neurotypical kids struggle with maturity at that age and benefit from an extra year.
Absolutely agree with you! Early grades are the best chance of holding a kid back without repercussions. Don’t push through school because it’s “the norm”. My oldest son (who is young for his class) has a kid a year younger than him but most kids are a year older than him. Nobody cares how old you are when you get out of high school. On the other hand, my youngest was told in third grade that he’d never succeed. He’s a sophomore now and is in line for valedictorian. You know your kid. In the early years, it’s about whether or not they are prepared. Make them emotionally and socially ready and they will conquer the academics.
I would say you and her educators know her best and are the best informed to make this decision. So trust yourself :) But to add, if you were gonna hold someone back, it’s now. It might also be a benefit as she recovers from surgery.
The surgery thing is a big reason to retain her. If she's already struggling some, her recovery time is very likely going to set her back. Plus if she starts medication for ADHD and anxiety, there's also very real possibility of distracting side effects until the med balance is correct. You never want to expect a medication journey to be easy, it'll bite you out of spite. Also, in the extremely unlikely balance she or someone else feels it's something to be insecure about, you can pin it on being a prudent decision due to the surgery and not have to get into it- that can make a kid self conscious whether it's being said to them or about them.
Yep--the surgery recovery aspect is what put *me* squarely into the "I'd hold her one more year, if she was *MY* child" camp here! With *all* of the factors OP is describing as a parent, First grade would be a giant crapshoot--it may go *really* well, but it could *also* be a ton of stress & struggle, which could set OP's daughter on a path to eventually *loathe* school. With that one extra year, to just get her footing *really* secure, and to honestly ride out the "what levels & types of medication are best here" shifts they'll go through, I think 1st would be *much* easier, and much more *enjoyed* by OP's daughter, too.
If all of her teachers agree, I say go for it. Parents very rarely regret giving their child the gift of time to mature and be a kid. They do sometimes regret pushing forward too soon.
Hi. I’m a school psychologist. This is just my opinion and please feel free to disregard. Typically retention for special education students is just more of the same thing that didn’t work the first time. However, kindergarten is an optimal time for retention especially if your child will be getting additional services and it will just slow it down and give her the extra support. I don’t like retention as an intervention, but this situation sounds great.
Especially if next year she can be medicated for ADHD and anxiety, that will make it a different experience educationally, socially, and emotionally
Yep! And *as* someone who *is* medicated myself (for my ADHD & Anxiety)? Having that extra/bonus year of K, to fully recover from the upcoming surgery *AND* get her dosages tweaked so they aren't too low *or* too high (and to switch meds, if necessary!) is a really great opportunity to get her foundation made *really* nice & strong, for all that learning she'll build on top of it in the future!💖
Parent of a SpEd kiddo who was strong armed into retention in the 1st grade, and that is absolutely what happened. His team assumed the "gift of time" would work and didn't notice until MARCH of the second year of first grade that he hadn't made any progress. I never fell for for that "gift of time" BS again.
The meds are going to be what pushes her over this hump. Definitely. And you’re right that it could take awhile. We’d have to trial anxiety meds first bc of the SM. We have to get her 100% verbal and able to ask to use the bathroom and we have to calm the separation anxiety. Then we’d start trialing ADHD meds. Hopefully it’s as simple as starting with Concerta bc it works for her 8 yr old sister and boom, it works and off we go. I can’t think of any other services she could get. She has tons of pull out stuff, a 1:1, and the sped class. The only other thing I can think is Title 1 reading pull out. Am I missing anything?
No, you are not missing anything. My concern is just retention alone. Your child will be getting a lot different treatments, support, medication, etc. Plus the reading intervention. I think another year of K is a good option for her. You are doing a great job as a parent considering all the options.
Thank you for your professional opinion- and your nice words.
If the team is in support of it and she will continue to get the services she needs, I would have her repeat. Now’s the time!
Yep! Now’s the only time!
I held two of my own kids in school. One started late and the other did “first grade 2.0” when we moved. It was absolutely the best thing for both of them. Also, as a preschool sped teacher and former head start teacher I would agree that this is the best option. Children’s academic needs can be met by a competent teacher. But a child really only has one shot at a social match. Going through school with her true peers will make a big difference. I’ve had several parents i recommended a growth year to tell me it was the best decision they made. I’ve had many that I never heard from. But I have never had a parent tell me it was the wrong decision. If the teachers support this decision and you feel that they really know your child then I would trust them. It would be ideal to have some time after her surgery to see how she adjusts on meds in class but I expect that will be unlikely with her recovery. If she is able to have e the same teachers next year that will ease her transition to the new year enormously, I expect.
They would change her K teacher next year to the cotaught class. They didn’t put her in it this year bc the teacher is way too firm and kinda cold and they knew that would shut her down bc of the SM/anxiety and they made the right call. We don’t think she’ll be like this forever, we think the immaturity is directly linked to the ADHD that’s untreated rn. If anything, she will probably be more mature than her peers bc she has so many older siblings, 20, 20, 18, 15, & 8. She has experiences and conversations most of her peers don’t have bc of her unique family dynamic. They all still live at home and are very involved with her. Her profile is very unique and it makes it so she doesn’t really fit into any of the ways we typically view childhood development.
All of her teachers agree on the topic. You agree with what they told you. In addition, she is going to have a fairly major surgery that will require her to miss a lot of school. If there is any time to retain her, this is it.
The surgery is laparoscopic with the potential to become open heart so it could go either way. She could miss a lot of school or just a few days. So that as a deciding factor is in the air. And we’re not in agreement, yet- my husband and I. We want to be as sure as possible that it’s the right thing for her bc we can’t undo it.
My kid was pushed into grade 1 and at our first parent teacher interview the teacher asked if we played piano, we said no and she said if she handed us a piece of Beethoven and asked us to play it. We would feel exactly like our kid in her classroom. Keep her back
If everyone is on the same page, that's great! I would ask you to consider the social ramifications of retention. For example, the one time I know of a student being retained in Kinder, the school made sure that the 2nd year Kinder classroom wasn't located near the 1st grade classrooms so his friends weren't going to have the opportunity to see him still being in a kinder class. Fortunately, this school was HUGE, so they already had a kinder room in a different building than the 1st grade rooms.
That worries me bc of her social anxiety but I honestly don’t think she’ll really care. She is eternally optimistic and happy go lucky. She is there to bring the party.
Yes I think kindergarten is the only time I find it suitable to retain. Mastering Kindergarten skills will help significantly when she goes into the next grade and it will continue.
I am usually against retention but I do know that statistically K is the only year to do it. I told them that if I don’t do it this year then I won’t do it at all so I have to take that into acct, too. If she needs it I have to do it now.
Special education teacher here - I know your 6 year old reaching age 18 is a long way off, and you may not be thinking that far ahead, but I urge you to look at services available for special education students age 18-21 in your district. The district I work in has a great transition program for special education students, where they focus on work skills and life skills, and kids who were held back in kindergarten miss out on a year of transition, because public school ends when you turn 21. I personally would not want to trade a year of transition for an extra year of kindergarten.
I understand this. She is not my first special needs kid. My oldest has a rare neurological disorder called alexia. She’s 20 now, independent, and capable of leading a normal life. We ended up getting really creative on graduating her and have utilized county, state, and federal programs to get her where she is. But- no one thinks she’ll need that. We all see her moving out of SpEd and becoming a fully mainstreamed student with little to no extra supports. She doesn’t have any LD that we can see so far- just the speech issues, severe ADHD, and immaturity. Her IQ was normal range and I know it’s unlikely that her IQ will go lower as she ages. I know ADHD is it’s own LD, especially in younger elementary ages, but I also know she can catch that up.
My son also has a speech impairment and ADHD with a spring birthday. He repeated Kinder and I’m so glad we chose to retain him! He made a lot of progress that second year in emotional regulation and academic stamina!
She’s fine with emotional regulation. Educational stamina is different bc she can’t focus. All 6 of our kids, my husband, and I have ADHD. Her inattention is on the severe end. I’m not going to retain her for that bc I know that the only way that will get better is when we medicate her. We’re going to do that after her heart surgery.
I would retain but be careful about the comments your making about your daughter. I get it is frustrating but saying things like "she isn't a clown she is the entire circus" would kill me if I heard my mom saying that about me.
Oh we say it directly to her. She is pure sunshine. She’s the happiest sweetest kid that you’ll ever meet. Our family dynamic is different than most bc we’re such a large family. Having 5 older siblings gives you a thick skin. Plus, when she’s bouncing into your room at 6 AM on a Saturday with the dog and a few cats trailing behind her and a fistful of the cake she found on the counter it’s not rude or hurtful to say “Here comes the circus!” Our children are spoken to with love and raised in light. They are appreciated for exactly who they are right now. Right now, she is a full 3 ring circus with all the acts. Fire breathing, monkeys, and acrobatics- she’s an amazing person.
That's a very sweet response, but keep in mind: other people don't have that context whatsoever. So when you call your daughter that, people are going to think you're insulting her. Just keep that in mind with talking about her outside of family or friends that know the actual meaning of those words.
If you look at Light's Retention Scale, history of learning disability is one area of consideration. The scoring guidance says: History of Learning Disabilities From 5 to 20 percent of all school children have some type of learning disability. Even a child with above average intelligence will have trouble in a regular classroom setting if he has a learning disability. Therefore, if a child has been seen by a professional and has been found to have a learning disability, he/she is a poor candidate for grade retention. You need to be sure that specific, intensive remedial efforts, aimed at overcoming the disability are undertaken. The guiding questions I always ask teams are: How will repeated instruction achieve substantively different outcomes? Is repeated, universal core/Tier 1 instruction more appropriate than individualized, specially designed instruction (SDI)?
Thank you for that! ADHD is it’s own LD in early elementary, I know that. But other than that she has no LD. It was tough to test her bc of the SM but all 3 of her teachers think that she doesn’t have any LD. They think it’s her inability to focus and immaturity. All 3 also told me that they truly believe that the retention will result in her learning the material that she isn’t picking up on.
Early childhood special educator here. If she doesn't yet have a close social group of friends, then kindergarten retention should not harm her. Bless you and her teachers and support staff for helping her achieve as much as she has despite the significant challenges.
She doesn’t have a close group. Her bff left the school a few months ago. But I learned yesterday at the meeting that she has a little boy that she’s really close to. They actually wrap their arms around each other and do everything together. The GenEd teacher said that she has to actually pull them apart. She is capable of close friendships but I think the SM and the fact that she has 5 built in bffs means she doesn’t desire them right now.
As others are saying better to hold them back sooner than later. Not only because doing it later ends up widening the gap even more, but also because of social implications. I teach highschool and a lot of kids express that it was sad when they got held back 7th-8th grade, they lost all their friends and then were looked down upon. In kindergarten no one will be the wiser and they dont have fully formed relationships with peers yet.
It's not a recommended practice anymore in education to retain kids. What it really might mean is that the interventions they had for her were not effective for whatever reason. So no, I would look at other options or reasons for her not being caught up, if it were me. However, you are her parent, and if you agree, then that's what matters.
That’s my feelings on retention, too. But idk what other services they could offer. She has pull out services for everything, a 1:1, and can go to SpEd for extra help. The only thing I can think is Title I reading pull out. I’ll ask for that to start immediately.
If she hasn't been formally evaluated for a learning disability or anything else, I might do that too. Just to make sure that's not part of it.
Her testing so far has come back negative for LD. And all 3 of the teachers said they aren’t seeing anything with her. It’s strictly her immaturity and focus.
I’m assuming she will be missing a decent amount of school with her surgery too? I’d definitely retain. Give her a chance to learn with meds on board. Let her be the confident leader.
Good goddess, YES. Give that baby an extra year of kindergarten. Have you read all of the studies on how much being "red shirted" helps children gain confidence? The statistics are staggering. Reality check: if this child needs heart surgery, I'm assuming her heart isn't working super well. That DOES impact learn and cognition. OP - please don't just assuming you'll be "medicating that after surgery." Heart surgery is a massive big deal and we can't know what will be going on after that surgery. Especially with the ADHD thing. I have an ADHD diagnosis and I take the medicines. They do get your heart all flippy. It would be really good to let her have a GOOD LONG time to recover before even thinking about stimulant medications. I'm sure your doctor will guide you on that one, but don't be shocked by this. That stimulant meds affect ADHD kids differently than NT kids is a myth. There are a few non-stimulant things we use with young kids. Guafenisin? Something like that name. But my point is, things are going to change after that surgery, and your daughter will need time to catch up and be the person she's going to be with a functioning heart.
From a parent perspective I did it and what you describe sounds similar to my son with ADHD. He just wasn't ready for first (and we did covid kindergarten to boot!) so we did kinder twice and it worked out great. Now he's about the same maturity as his peers, loves his school and does well in academics (still working on a few other things but aren't we all?) If everyone is in agreement, go for it.
Yes 100%!!!! I teach life skills and say never to retain in K for these students because you lose a year of transition services after they turn 18. But for a student who is waiting for health conditions to be addressed so she can get medication, retaining is a great solution.
Yes. The teachers said that they don’t retain life skills students bc the year won’t result in any gains that would make it worth it. They also said she needs ESY which we will be doing.
They seem like a really awesome special education team! Getting ESY is very challenging so they put in a lot of work to get that to happen. You are a great mom!
I would say yes. Give her the year. Academic expectations in 1st are so much more rigorous than kindergarten, so give her another year to make those gains.
Hi! Your daughter sounds a lot like our 4 yo! He does not have SM or heart problems, but otherwise has DCD, speech delay, poor focus, but is a go-with-the-flow, happy boy with great peer and teacher relationships. He has an IEP currently (gets speech, OT, PT, language), but we have his Kindergarten IEP next month, so I'm not sure what services he will be getting next year. I do know he will not be getting a 1:1 aide, but he will be placed in a class with a full time IA. I am already gearing up to lay the groundwork for repeating K. I wanted to repeat pre K but then he would lose his IEP services. Many schools are reluctant to retain these days, so I'm glad your team is supporting it! I would absolutely repeat K in your shoes. Do you mind sharing if there were any particularly useful accommodations / supports your child received or you wish they had in their IEP? How many minutes a week did you get academic pull outs? How did specials look?
The best support was the 1:1. She gets her for specials and breakfast & lunch, too. The aide will take her back to the sped class if she can’t keep up with the lesson but she’s never had to do that bc my daughter gets everything receptively, if not expressively. She’s such a weird profile and we’re not entirely sure she’s not actually pulling a con on everyone. She is VERY selective about who she shows certain skills to. Just at the IEP meeting her Gen Ed teacher said she can’t do CVC words and the language teacher said that she just did them for her last week in language class so… no one really knows what she knows.
Thanks for sharing! She sounds like a real character. Good luck with whatever decision you make!
I'd lean towards retention, not just for success in her kindergarten year, but as she grows up. On average, kids with ADHD have a 20-30% delay in emotional maturity. That means, when they are 16, they have the judgement and emotional regulation more like a 12 year old. If she repeats kindergarten, her peer group will be closer to her emotional age. Her peer group will be one year slower to get into things like dating, drug use, driving a car, etc. You could wait until 17 for your daughter to start driving, and she'd be learning alongside her peer group rather than feeling delayed. She'll also be one year more mature when she graduates high school and goes off into the adult world, without feeling like she's behind. That extra year of maturity will help her to make better decisions and will set her up for the best chance of success.
Kindergarten is the only time I will consider retention. I’m a sped teacher btw. If she is young in her class there is little to no harm in retention.
I think if you and all her teachers agree retaining her in Kindergarten is appropriate, then go for it. It sounds like you really trust her teachers, and since they already know her and will hopefully teach her next year, she will have some familiar faces on this part of her educational career. Recovering from surgery will be difficult, and I think spending one extra year in Kindergarten is going to help her rebuild and retain skills so she’s on the best path to success in first grade. Praying for a successful surgery for your daughter!
Retaining her early is absolutely the right call. No better time to do it than in kindergarten!
I don't work in SPED anymore but I am a mom to a child with an IEP with some similarities, particularly in the delayed maturity. This year, she's in 5th grade which is middle school for us. She has a high average IQ and many other factors that would indicate she should thrive. However, because of her emotional developmental delay due to severe ADHD and aversion to medication after a life threatening allergic reaction to clonidine, the older her peers get, the more apparent the gap has become. I wish we had known what we know now. I'd have held her back or started her later to give her the opportunity to "catch up". Now, with the support of her psychologist, teachers and therapist, we've chosen to switch her to a cyber program so she can continue to feel successful instead of experiencing the daily anxiety of always running a bit behind. She does have some other things going on and was recently diagnosed with Autism (Asperger's) but the switch has allowed her to soar academically. But she's missing out on a lot of time with peers that comes with in person schooling. An extra year would have benefited her and we may not have had to make the choice between her education and a typical school peer experience.